#bc of who they were born as
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As an adult rewatching all the x-men movies, I think I’ve figured out why the movies made me uncomfortable to a personal level as a kid
#it’s the whole ‘normal’ people wanting to change the mutants bc of who they are#bc of who they were born as#like as a young child I KNEW I was trans but I didn’t have the vocabulary#the whole ‘mutants can be amung us be one of you maybe even your child and you might not even know’ bit#the whole scene where Warren tries to cut off his wings bc how his parents view mutants#how he was so scared of having his father know#the whole trying to ‘cure’ being a mutant#it’s the whole trying who hide your identity. who you are. from family and friends#it’s the whole being raised with ‘being who you are is religiously and politically and morally wrong’#the whole ‘we’re family we love you unconditionally’ unless you’re a mutant (trans)#it’s the ‘we’re the government of course we care about you and your well being. unless you’re a mutant’ (trans)#it’s the idea that there’s ‘good’ and ‘bad’ ones just based on who they are.#I’m rambling#I’m bored at work#no one reads tags anyways#except for like one mutual#hi#yea I’m talking about you#how’s you’re lmk HCs going?#yea I’m looking at you#direct eye contact over here#I’m pointing at you#anyways Kurt is trans bc I say so
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i love the interpretations of Any of the pines being trans but to me mabel and dipper Are fraternal twins they are just also both trans. they just swapped names and ‘pretended’ to be the other. i know dipper being transmasc is like the most popular trans hc in the fandom, so to me this is why dipper’s name is mason but he always wanted the name tyrone
#mabel is wearing sweaters in the summer. idk kinda transgender#unless oregon is cold in summer. but last episode i think soos mentions it’s like 80°#(saying it’s too hot for stan to be wearing a sweater(the one mabel made him)(bc he says he’s wearing it bc it was cold)(lying)#anyway she’s still wearing a sweater there#and ford !#i think it’d be funny that they’re all trans.#like the more trans people in a family it just gets funnier imo. what are the odds#<-i say this lovingly. i am under the transgender umbrella#also imagine w me Stan who was there when the kids were born meeting them again now age 12 and at some point going#’wait i thought mabel was the one with the birthmark’ and they’re like ‘wow you confuse siblings even when they’re different genders. smh’#the kids probably dont know stan is also transgender. or maybe they do. is it funnier if they do#gravity falls#words from the monarch
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taash said "they were doing it" and people ran with the interpretation of an npc that doesn't know solas or the history of the elvhenan even when bellara interjected and said, no, that's not right. that's not how it was for the elvhenan. they formed bonds before they had physical bodies. and people ran to doompost or create weird anti-solavellan shit even though mythal & solas refer to each other as old friends and when she releases him there is no tenderness or love in it. it is the act of unchaining a dog from his post, the stepping down of a general. but to each their own ig.
#let the record show i think love was there. do I personally perceive it as romantic / sexual? no.#mythal's perception of love & care is warped in and of itself#i think they loved each other. but she loved what she could take from him and what he could give in terms of service#not because she was romantically into him#also i wish we knew more about her & elgar'nan. her regret prison form says she holds no love for him anymore#and it makes me wonder when that love soured. was it when she was blighted? before that? was that love also born of duty and companionship?#this is the last post i'm gonna make ab this i think#bc i believe people are too caught up in the modern western ideas of love as thing we give solely to our romantic partners#and we literally have a character go ”our perception is warped bc of the age we live in” and some of you are still being purposefully obtuse#and i think trick saying it's up to interpretation is basically admitting EA had them dumb down the game anyway#if everything ab the rise and fall of the evanuris in game#was condensed to five 2min cutscenes it says enough that whatever the writers wanted#was swiftly cut down by corporate dept. basically saying it's in the fans' court now#also bc it's an easy cop out around new players & non solasmancers who are indifferent ab him / dislike him#as a way to appeal thru a more sympathetic lense of look!! he loved and was led astray#not to mention the clear justinia / leliana parallels#and leliana gets angry if you imply she was romantically involved / in love w justinia#and the romance descr when you remake your inq saying the dread wolf could not predict what it would mean to fall IN LOVE#implying he had never fallen in love before or at the very least experienced a romantic love#also him saying drinking from the well would make you a slave and he gets really upset#yet ive seen takes of ”hes doing this for her cus he dgaf ab lavellan” ?? he got mythal killed when he told her ab the blight#whatever feelings of admiration he had for her have rotted. he is literally burdened by his mistakes and his choice in joining her#i feel like if i were a spirit bound and twisted into a weapon i would need my creator to tell me i am Free. i would need that closure#like when cole says its not abuse to bind him if he asks and solas said thats not always true???#if you perceive her interaction w him in vg third act as#anything more than the way justinia released leliana in inq then im sorry maybe youre just obtuse#solavellan#mythal#dragon age meta
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gojo would kill your work husband. but if he were the work husband, that's a different story
REAL!! he’s such a hypocrite because if someone mentioned you had a work husband, his entire world would stop and he wold devise the absolute worst plans to make sure that your co-worker, everyone at your job, and everyone in the next building over knew that he was happily committed to you
but if he is the work husband, he’s very........ dutiful in his role. there’s a loose office/lawyer au in my head where satoru is your secretary, and for all intents and purposes, your personal assistant, and he’s good at his job, but mostly because he considers his job to be pleasing you. he has coffee for you when you arrive, he moves your schedule around without you asking, he has answers to questions before you can even ask them, he has fresh flowers on your desk weekly, pokes into your meetings to pretend to hand you a file that’s really just maybe a single document in a manilla folder with candy on top of it—he’s made himself your business, your partner; he’s made himself irreplaceable, and he loves to remind everybody of that fact.
he’s also extremely loyal. sure, he could day a week’s worth of work done in about a day, but that doesn’t mean he’ll just use his talents for anybody. he’s your secretary, so he’s at your beck and call, and everyone knows it. they know he’s the best, but also that he’s off limits—not because you won’t share him, but because satoru won’t let himself be shared.
he also extends his duties beyond work, of course. when he hands you a print out of your schedule for the day and you’re confused by the three-hour block of time you have in the middle of the day, satoru just helps you shrug your coat of your shoulders and smiles, “that’s for the lunch date you have with me, of course!” hanging up your coat in your closet for you, “i’m paying, see you soon, sweets.” and because you’re great at your job, and satoru helps you be great, nobody really questions when the two of you have time for a 13-course tasting menu at 1pm on a tuesday afternoon. and if they did, all satoru would say that you two had a lovely date
#anonymous#he's like donna from suits but worse because he's like if harvey were donna LOL#i have soooooo much to say about him#he doesn't really Have to work he's a nepotism baby supreme#but he met you maybe in undergrad? and he's been obsessed w you since#he knows youre a workaholic so he's dutifully sat by your side all these years through college through grad/professional school#and when you told him you got to hire your own assistant he was the very first applicant#because getting paid to spend his days with you and take care of you? he was already doing that for free might as well make it official#everyone in the office knows satoru loves you except you honestly#he probably has his own masters/JD but elects to be your assistant anyway bc that's so much more fun#what he Really wants to be a househusband but first he's gotta ask you out and propose and all that good stuff (cue him rolling his eyes#and going on about formalities and boring systems and blah blah blah)#also in the office au in my head: nanami (also senior partner) higuruma ofc <3 beloved (managing partner) and TOJI!#WALK WITH ME!#its honestly probably satoru's influence that gets toji into law... as someone who so feverently broke it in the past#idk maybe there's a megumi situation that makes gojo be like yk if ur this good at skirting/breaking the law youd probably be half decent#at enforcing it... or at least helping other people get around it too#and so lawyer toji is born#does he screw around w the rich people who r stupid w their money? absolutely#but you nanami and higuruma just let it be bc he brings in those settlements better than anybody else....#hmmm... i kinda wanna make megumi somebody's associate but also..... yuuta.....#i think i just like sticking yuuta in a tie if im being real#but anyway... satoru is your Work Husband and everyone knows he wants to be your real husband#but they just let it slide bc rumour has it even tho hes just a secretary hes got equity in the firm?? and besides that his heart eyes give#away his hopeless devotion from a mile away#the day you actually start seeing somebody outside of work... oh theyre in for Trouble#satoru x reader#him dragging you out of ur office late at night and u protesting so he just. puts u over his shoulder#and ur telling him to let u down but he's insisting u go home and then nanami pops out of his office#and ur like wait nanami this isnt what it looks like but he's so dead in the eyes when he just sighs
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met someone today who was born in 2006. please stay safe out there it could happen to anyone
#text#IM KIDDING they were very nice#insane to talk to someone younger than my baby brother though#its like ocd exposure therapy... <- JOKE JOKE JOKE I CAN RECLAIM#in 2020 (when i was 17) i worried myself to the point of physical nausea bc i had online friends who were 16 Like the fact that i can just#hang out with someone even though they were born in 2006 now is crazyyyy
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niche content but tier list of ghouls as clinicians (any patient-facing healthcare role)
sorry yuri but you'd fail viva
#tokyo debunker#lin yapping#honestly subaru would get bullied by patient families if he were in a big hospital#pls put him in priv or a small nursing home#jiro would thrive in acute honestly u go jiro#zenji would be SO FUN in an eipic setting im begging for a zenji#haru is the community paeds slp who never goes home on time / stays until 8pm prepping session plans#honestly luca would also be great with adults but also i feel like . parents would trust him#maybe as an audiologist??? or an ot tbh#im 20% sure sho's hair doesn't pass hospital regulations but he'd be great w rehab patients... maybe as a pt??#edit: nat said sho would be a resident and i SEE it#haku as a locum ot who happens to locum at the same places rui does (rui by default is an slp...)#lyca is on his way there but he needs a bit more cleaning up before he can pass viva!!!! maybe as an rt!!!#also towa would eat the flowers ur family brought for u#btw tohma is ok only bc he's head of department and doesn't directly deal with patients anymore#if he does it's vvvvvvip patients who request him by name or like . rly rare aphasia cases#he probs lectures part-time#doing this to put off intervention plans hurkghgkjgkhd#alas!#born to hotarubi forced to mortkranken#i should use this tag whenever i procrastinate huh#alan is a pt btw if it wasnt obvious#ed part times at dementia day cares for fun bc he 1) would not last the whole day 2) is not allowed near surgery patients
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house md pokemon teams, as meticulously picked out by someone who's been into pokemon since birth:
house - cyclizar, audino, gothitelle, mabosstiff, toxtricity amped mode, hisuian zoroark
wilson - blissey, morgrem, male meowstic, cinccino, absol, zoroark
cuddy - kangaskhan, leavanny, male pyroar, jynx, lucario, hatterene
foreman - alakazam, noctowl, ferrothorn, luxray, midday lycanroc, malamar
chase - yamper, komala, liepard, klefki, alolan raichu, lurantis
cameron - sensu oricorio, froslass, crobat, mimikyu, female indeedee, sylveon
taub - alolan persian, glameow, snubbull, starmie, swanna, male oinkologne
thirteen - houndoom, drifblim, gardevoir, sneasler, armarouge, cloyster
kutner - goodra, seel, aipom, quagsire, mr mime, pawmot
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people tend to assume that house's ace is one of his 'cooler' pokemon - zoroark, toxtricity - but it's really audino. can mega evolve and everything. he loves throwing people off by bringing him out when running diagnostics (audino have excellent hearing; his can detect heart issues typically only found through invasive testing)
cuddy's hatterene HATES house. and he knows it. if threats of clinic duty doesn't get him to leave her alone when he's bothering her, she'll threaten to get hatty out, and hatty has NO qualms about beating the fuck out of him
wilson doesn't bring absol out at work. with his profession and the species' reputation as doombringers, it wouldn't exactly be a comforting sight. he doesn't even really remember how he acquired her, nor does he know that she's not concerned about his cancer patients but for him.
taub hardly trains his pokemon, making him the most unready for battle of everyone listed.
kutner and his pawmot get into many defibrillator adventures (accidents)!!! quagsire, being water/ground, is unaffected and therefore happily takes up the task of putting out fires when needed :DD
#house md#pokemon#gregory house#james wilson#allison cameron#robert chase#eric foreman#lisa cuddy#remy hadley#thirteen house md#lawrence kutner#chris taub#i was born in 98 and have a deep personal connection to pkmn thru my brother (who died when i was 5)#so yeah i know what i'm talking about /lh#95% of these picks have more in depth reasoning#or simply fit thematically imo. i also didn't want repeats since there's like a thousand pkmn out nowadays#i'm not planning a proper au or anything but i will say this#ppth in the pokemon world =/= pokemon center#though i wouldn't be hard pressed to believe house would take pkmn cases if they were Puzzle enough#but those are rare just bc like. he's a human dr. maybe he takes up humanoid pkmn then#idk i'm just spitballing i think it'd be fun i mean surely there'd be medical mysteries in pkmn
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heyy i would like more of how thalia's time as a tree affected her please. was she asleep? was she conscious at all? did she feel trapped, or at peace? could she tell when someone was approaching? did it change her?? chat did it change her. does she miss it??? she is not the same girl she once was, that is much clear. but why, exactly. what changed. i have so many questions
#rick fr gave us the coolest backstory and left it untouched#oh yeah she's the first child of the Most Powerful God in centuries. she died protecting those she loved at the age of twelve.#she was turned into a tree by her father (who KNEW he couldn't have kids) and came back when the guy she died for poisoned it#she escaped an abusive mother and founded a family of her own but when she came back they were older and colder... oh and there's this guy#- percy. he's kinda taking her place in her sister's life. he wasn't supposed to be born either. they're so alike in so many ways#but no biggie they're like friends or whatever- also she's gonna disappear from the narrative in my next series bc why tf not#like come onn!! give me more or i'll have to make it up myself#thalia grace#percy jackson#pjo books#rr crit#<- not really but worth mentioning still#anyway justice for thalia grace i love her she deserves more
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memory is as fascinating as it is fickle. it’s really cool how we associate different sounds and feelings and smells with different parts of our lives—how a song or a scent or an emotion can instantly transport us to a younger version of ourselves. there are songs and albums that i will forever associate with different phases of my life; it’s the closest i’ll ever get to time travel, i think, as i listen to a song and my mind reverts back to whatever age i was when i first heard it and loved it.
#my dad insists that i was born with a certain taste in music.#i love radiohead and ‘ok computer’ came out shortly before i was born#and my parents would blast that album specifically when i was having a fit as a baby#and they said it was the only thing that would calm me down#so his argument is that it’s natural that i love radiohead as an adult bc i loved it as an infant#idk i feel like certain things are ingrained in who we are! like we were always destined/fated/bound to love certain things#for example: no matter what happened in life i was always going to like radiohead. i didn’t have a choice in the matter!#idk where i’m really going with this it’s just so interesting to me. anyway#human brain ily#— idle chatter
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I am actually. I am so emotional over the Salazar parents and I need to share this to tumblr too.
A lot of stories where the MC is adopted I feel. Either dismiss the biological parents and the impact they have on the kid's life, or makes them evil and abusive, framing the loss of the bio parents as a good thing, or at least something we shouldn't think about just look at this new family.
But Genrex doesn't do that. From the start, Rex wanted to find out more about his parents - it's one of his primary character motivations, next to helping people. He loves them, even though he doesn't know them.
And the more he finds out about them, the more he realizes they loved him. Rylander is consumed by guilt but as Rex's first connection to his pre-Event life, the first thing he does is hug him. And when he tells Rex about his parents, the two things Rex knows is that 1) they were scientists, and 2) that when he was in danger, they were desperate enough to use their secret, experimental technology to save him. Technology built from their desire to help the world, to save countless lives and end countless suffering.
And then. When he finds out that they were dead, he doesn't stop caring. It'd be so easy, too, to tie it up there - his parents were good people, he got his answer about them, the end. But they don't. He doesn't. Because the show is saying once again that they are his parents. He still calls them mom and dad, even as the show makes it clear Holiday and Six adopted Rex as their son. Even as the show even parallels Six and One with Rex and Six (and I will talk about that more later if I don't forget, trust me), to really drive home how much they're family. Rex even says he considers the two of them family, and later that he considers Noah, Claire and Annie family.
He has new family, the show tells us, but his old family still matters to him. He's upset that he never has the chance to meet his parents, that everything he hears about them, about his time with them, is secondhand knowledge. It tells us clearly that not only does Rex still love them, but that he still wants to know them. And everything we find out about them reinforces the love that they had for each other.
We see Abuela and the family in Mexico, who connect him to his birth family and tell him that he was so loved back then, and still is now. We see their office in Abysus through Rex's eyes. The picture of him and his dad on his desk. The drawing Rex drew, proudly pinned to the wall.
We see it in the familiarity of the drawing. That that robot, that build, was what Rex created when he was lost and scared and alone - that it was made to keep him safe. That it first appeared in his mind in a place he felt safe.
The show says, tenderly and softly, that the love is still there. That the fact these people died was nothing but a tragedy, that their love is a big part of what made Rex who he is today - that every molecule in his body is filled with their final gift to him. That every time he cures someone, every time he uses a build, every time he makes a machine - we see the love that they had for him.
And the way he quietly absorbs his father's face. The way he freezes and whispers "Mamá?" when he finds out Zag-Rs has their mother's voice. The fact that she even has her voice as a testament to Caesar's love, too - that it was meant to bring comfort and safety. The way Rex yells at Caesar when he finds out they have a family property, a connection to their past, the way he fights to protect it.
And, none of this takes away still from Six and Holiday being Rex's family too. None of this removes the work either set of parents did for him, the love either set has - the show says that it was unfair that the Salazar parents were lost. That Six and Holiday are not replacements, that they still love him as parents but play different roles in his life. They can not, and have no desire to, replace the Salazars. But Rex needs parents, he needs protectors, and so they will do what they can for him - at first out of necessity, to keep this kid they barely know safe, but then out of love. They aren't replacing what was lost, but are doing their best to do what Rex's bio parents would do. And they do mess up in it - they mess up in ways Rex's bio parents might not have. Six is clearly bad with showing affection, affection we saw the Salazars give Rex so easily, and Holiday is overworked and stressed constantly, sometimes breaking under the pressure and snapping at Rex and Six, things we never saw the Salazars do.
It's just. It's about how sometimes things will not be the same. They will be different. That doesn't mean the people you lost aren't still with you.
#This is also. Why I dislike the 'Rex was secretly made for the nanite experiments the accident was a lie' theory so much#Bc it assigns malice where the show says over and over again there was only love.#That this was only ever a tragedy of good people whose good intentions were manipulated and twisted.#And I think giving them something shitty to have done in the past especially goes against the message of the show's perspective on adoption#The family we choose is not always stronger than the family we are born to. Sometimes they are equal in different ways.#Rex's bio parents are gone but not replaced. They have also shaped who he is#Six and Holiday are just picking up where they left off. Because they have to.#Also I don't like the theory that Rex's parents are EVOs somewhere bc I think it diminishes the impact of the tragedy too.#I get. Wanting them to have a happy ending. But I think it's important to realize that this is the closest they can have to a happy ending.#Some things cannot be replaced. Or fixed. Sometimes life takes what we love and what loves us. And that is okay.#It is okay to be upset at that and it is okay to never fully move on.#'What about Caesar?' I have. Another post's worth of thoughts about him.#But I think he's also a character who is defined more by Rex by their relation and defined by the story by his guilt#I think he is the closest thing Rex has to a shitty bio family member and he is shitty in plenty of ways#But he's also a parallel to Rex in a lot of ways. He fails where Rex succeeds bc of it.#generator rex#genrex#Anyways. Sorry for the big post.
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Reconstruction ended in the US in 1877, and during that year, as well as the years immediately post civil war, there was an especially huge push for black people to find loved ones who were sold off the other states or countries during slavery, especially those who had children fathered by their masters as their masters were the ones who sold off the child/ren or had the best information on finding them. People would send letters, put ads in newspapers, even take trips themselves to go find loved ones that they had lost due to the scurge that was slavery. And I keep thinking about Louis du pointe du lac, sending all those messages to find his daughter that was sent out of state by her white father
#Louisiana especially new Orleans was often peoples last or first stop if they were being sold bc people would take the MS river up and down#you could get a slave from nola to brazil in 2 weeks or vice versa.#white men and their families fleeing the haitian revolution often set up shop in NOLA and restarted plantations there#so there are literally thousands of black people being sold through NOLA every day and Louis is looking for his baby#interview with the vampire#iwtv#amc iwtv#louis de pointe du lac#iwtv 2022#ldpdl#the vampire claudia#like louis was born during the last year of reconstruction and thats when we see the shift from free people of color to just black#its so interesting how much of what could be his identity is stripped from him in the span of two years when he wouldnt even know it#like how much family do you think louis lost from slavery aside from claudia?#cus either Louis and his family are the result of placage relationships or slave owners forcing themselves onto his ancestors#and here is louis who is currently in either position circa 1937-1940#with nola being that last or 1st stop it is extremely like youd never see loved ones again
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If time lords regenerate and their new body it’s born with make-up, earrings, etc. can they take them off or it’s like… stuck with them forever?
#ex: the general in heaven sent#who regenerated into a woman with eye shadow#like can she take it off or…?#Can 14 take his pants and vest off?#can u imagine if they were stuck forever#(yes I know that he can take his jacket and tie off#but I’d be so funny if he couldn’t take the rest of his clothes off#bc he was regenerated with them#13 was born with her ears pierced#can they close ???#or like they’re pierced forever ??#sasa rambles#doctor who#dr who#dw#the doctor#13th doctor#thirteenth doctor#regeneration
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/CW: Blood (idk if you can mute words here but just in case) A fanart I did a bit ago about Syndra killing her Master in a burst of anger I never thought about how Syndra felt about this event so I wanted to portray my idea about it. Taking in consideration how Syndra was as a kid and student + her life, I don't believe she wished to kill Konigen on purpose. At the same time I believe this was a "point of no return" for her character
#syndra#league of legends#also syndra losing control over herself after doing this makes me believe strongly that realizing she murdered him made her snap completely#syndra was essentially feared and rejected by everyone around her including family because of her magic - so by going with Konigen to learn#-magic only for him to fear her too most likely made her revive all the bullying and mistreatment she received because of her powers oof#backstab after backstab from the people she trusted - simply tragic - to be feared and pushed away by those who are meant to accept/love yo#-just bcs of how you were born (in this case with very op magic that she didn't even manifest for the first time until much later like damn#it'd been “”different“” if she used her magic immidiately but it wasn't even the case - dormant magic was enough for everyone to freak out
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twin aus are fun bc sukuna is sooooo ugly and yuuji is soooooooo pretty and beautiful and lovely <3 completely understand why sukuna ends up the deliquent loser twin bc why would anybody choose him when <3yuuji<3 is right there
#this is a sukuna hate post 😐 the first of many to come.#ive been hating on geto (and will.) but you all should know i dont fuck with that ugly ass BITCH either!!!!!#itadori twin au is so fun in my head bc not only is sukuna the ugly loser degenerate twin he's also Younger than yuuji (by like. and hour..#it was probably hard to birth his big ass head) but like. yuuji is born at 11 something pm one night and sukuna is at 12 am the next day#so they NEVER celebrate their birthdays together as they SHOULDNT! cant blame yuuji for that !!!!#see also: sukuna hates and claims he can beat up all of yuuji's friends except nobara#bc when they were 4 he was mean to her and she took a hammer to his shoulder and he has never forgotten it#he's all talk 🙄 fraud watch#see also: choso doesnt usually interfere with the twins arguing except when sukuna does too much and now he has to be all Big Brother#it's also extremely hilarious to imagine youre dating yuuji and you two stop by his house#and hes like ah fuck he's here.. he's not supposed to be here 🙄 lets go! and ur like wait who is here what's going on#and too late. sukuna comes out of his room and hes on his way out and ur like what. who. yuuji what the fuck just happened#and hes like that was my brother..#and ur like. u... have a brother.... a twin brother? and NOBODY told me?????#and yuujis like yeah in an ideal world i would have never needed to bring him up 🙄
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Neuvillette and Furina | Frieren and Himmel
Belated happy birthday, Neuvillette!
#neuvillette#furina#neuvifuri#focallette#genshin impact#frieren: beyond journey's end#frimmel#I KNOW ALL THE FRIMMEL ENJOYERS WHO ALSO SHIP NEUVIFURI HAVE THOUGHT OF THIS AT LEAST ONCE#as if having one mortal x immortal ship isnt insane enough#we were all born to suffer#listen#i can make an entirely different post regarding furina and himmel parallels#but the most important point is them teaching their SO how to love AND appreciate humanity#while neuvi and frieren#the 'emotinally constipated but really cares' immortals#imagine when furina passes away neuvillette will always be reminded of her bc her statue is LITERALLY beside his home and workplace#LIKE FRIMMEL#OOOH IM SO ILL
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#I’m only very rarely inclined to get this intimate w my thoughts so I might as well say it NOW butttt I will never not see the dead children#In everything I do#Like legit#I’ve read up on Hind so extensively and seen so many photos of her#And I have a very healthy relationship w the popular Palestinian journalists so she’s not my blorbo or anything#But hearing that memo destroyed me bc bisan is only 23 and she seemed so vivacious#Idk like I do normal people things I can’t just pause on my life#But idk how it feels like to sit at a boba place and enjoy my pearl milk tea w my friends#While the horrors over there don’t just lurk the back of my mind. I do normal things and I’m guilty for having the luxury#And as an Iraqi girl I’m living in the literal ideal timeline#Where my mom decided to immigrate to the us and that’s why I’m here living a normal life like everyone else#It’s like in a different world if I were born in a different time it could’ve so easily been me. I’m one of the Lucky Ones idk#It’s not survivor’s guilt bc it’s not like I had to survive anything like I never had the chance to live in Iraq or anything#But like. If some things had fallen just a little differently#And I keep thinking about how I’d feel if it were happening to Iraq and people behaved the way they’re doing to Palestinians#I’d be so mad#And some people on here are dealing w assholes while bursting at the seams w grief#For losing their loved ones#This is why I’m so fucking angry at anyone who’s complicit#This was a major tangent but basically I feel weird about doing normal things now while simultaneously knowing I can’t just sit and wallow#And watch life pass by as if it’ll do anything#Misery is not a home but I’m struggling to be 100% normal#And I think that this tonal dissonance is reflecting on my blog too bc I can’t go back to just#Posting about all the other normal things I used to. Like I want to but sometimes I feel off.#Is this anything. I haven’t slept all night#I can’t just allow myself to lose interest in everything I used to like and be and just fade away but maybe it’s about accepting that this#Will also always be a part of me now. It’s that awareness that shadows everything I do#or maybe I need a therapist it’s a toss up#I’ll probably feel better once I get my day started but this was cathartic to voice I think#p
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