bitchslapblastoids - Tumblr blog

[bitchslapblastoids]

Random q - did dan ever say anything about SOPHIE after her death? Went back through the insta story archives from the days following and didn’t see anything. I know that’s not really his thing, but i was just thinking how i would love to hear his thoughts on her posthumous album and was curious to see if he’d ever spoken about her death

[bitchslapblastoids]

Deleted my previous post as promised, but a few folks reached out about having a similar frustration, so I figured this may be useful to just say generally.

PSA: it is common etiquette on tumblr to credit people’s work and ideas. This carries into tags as well. If you are copy/pasting someone’s tag yap into your own tags or your own post/reblog without indicating in any way whose thoughts they were originally (not yours, that’s for sure!), then you’re claiming their words as your own. That’s crummy. Don’t do that. 👍

[bitchslapblastoids]

I know my posts this week have been very old man yells at cloud and honestly how embarrassing of me to keep engaging but this confession reminds me of when a friend of mine said she can’t watch male gymnastics in the summer Olympics or male ice skaters in the winter Olympics because their routines always give her the ick and in that moment I realized she and I exist oceans apart, parallel lines destined to never intersect.

dan doing that weird dance in the dress to impress irl video gives me the ick so hard I'm sorry

.

[bitchslapblastoids]

I feel I am learning that I have a fundamental misunderstanding of what average means to other people…... But like. @tumblranons, do you know what most humans look like? It is. Not like the girlie above.

Average is. Not descriptive of Dan and Phil’s looks.

Filter girl dan just looks like an average white girl 😭

leave her alone!!

(image credit @tetrapaec)

[bitchslapblastoids]

What is….. “proship” .??? what does….. that mean? Why do I see “DNI proshippers” in people’s bios except the blog itself is like a destiel account or whatever the fuck and then when I look up proship I see that it means people who are just. Pro-shipping? Or like pro- ship whatever the f you want to ship? What does. It mean?

[bitchslapblastoids]

Gosh I love your fics and can’t wait to read what you post next! So excited!!!

This is so kind and lovely!! thank you!!! That makes me excited! 💖💖💖💖

[bitchslapblastoids]

Alarmed and disturbed to be watching this old livestream and realize that this is why ludivico einuadi has been my music to work to for the past 8 years. Something I thought I’d stumbled into organically…. no, it was you all along. I remember now.

Has me wondering where else have d&p weasled their way into these taken for granted parts of my life in ways that are not remotely obvious/that I’ve forgotten the origin of? What other parts of my brain are they operating with their little tendrils of influence, unbeknownst to me??? Where else have they permeated?????

[bitchslapblastoids]

"It was one of you."

[bitchslapblastoids]

showing interactive introverts dnp sister daniel and phlonde

[bitchslapblastoids]

Im gonna be honest with you i initially interpreted "nuts bone structure" as in their nuts are structured with bones. Which seems like a really severe and uncomfortable medical condition.

Yikes I should…word things better

[bitchslapblastoids]

you said dnp have nuts bone structure, by which I assume you meant their bone structure is insane (about which you are not wrong)

but um. they do have nuts bone structure. as in the structure of their boning involves a lot of nuts

(sorry)

👏👏👏👏👏

I did mean they have insane bone structure but I realized after posting that it looked like I was including nuts among a list of their physical attributes. But you brought an even more creative interpretation and I appreciate that

[bitchslapblastoids]

dont come teasing with these fics POST POST POST

Sorry my dude it’s going to take some time 🙃🙃🙃

[bitchslapblastoids]

you need to take one for the team and write more smut please

lolllllll noted and the sentiment is much appreciated! i have a few wips floating around in a half finished state. Life has been kooky crazy lately and I just haven’t seemed to have any meaningful chunks of time that have aligned with feeling motivated/inspired to properly chip away at anything.

Here are some sneak peeks of what I’ve got rolling around though that will eventually become smut that is posted at some point in the indeterminate future

teddy bear fic pt 2

Extended teddy bear universe puppy puppet fic (what a fuckin doozie that string of words is lol)

Dan is cloned fic (low key inspired by a redacted post about how Dan probably wishes he could clone himself to be able to give Phil everything at once. except I also feel like that’s a line I wrote in New Shapes too? Basically clones have been on the mind.)

[bitchslapblastoids]

don’t take the bait don’t take the bait don’t take the ba- Fellas is it cringe to find two objectively handsome men who are literally famous in a visual medium and have garnered a fanbase of thirsty girls and gays who have written an extensive amount of literal porn about them bc they’re so invested in imagining said men bone hot?

Not saying you can't be attracted TO them but Dan and Phil are objectively two average, unremarkable looking men and it cringes me out when people on here act like they're conventionally attractive in current-day. As I can tell you from experience the general public does not share that opinion.

.

[bitchslapblastoids]

I swear to fuck yall there are accounts I follow on here who are actively posting all the time whose posts I never ever ever ever see show up on my dash. I do see the same like 7 people / posts over and over though. Why is that??? whyyyyyy. I turned off the “prioritize best things” or whatever the fuck option ages ago, so it should just be chronological. Am I doing something wrong? I feel bereft!!

[bitchslapblastoids]

“oh ellen what are you doing after work today?” clocking into my phannie shift 😔

[bitchslapblastoids]

tumblr is the only social media i have and i wouldn't admit to this account during polite conversation if you put a gun to my head so i love telling people i have no social media. completely offline, me. don't worry about it. this is almost always followed by wistful sighs about internet consumption and people proclaiming they would love to be like that. if only they knew i was trapped here with you guys