#Okay actually it’s 4 am and I’m dead. I genuinely thought I was going to do this tomorrow but I finished the art a few hours ago-

[possiblyfunny]

Hello again, fellas. (And to whoever is actually interested in looking at my weird little AU-) Sanctuary has been on my mind lately and uhhh, I’d like to introduce you to some new characters!

Meet the Eventide Duo: REI and KAI!

I, like with Aster and Del, have never drawn them before, and because I honestly didn’t have it in me to do two full-body drawings with color and everything, doodling them was the next best thing. I’ve been thinking about these two a lot and just really wanted to get them down as a start. Soooo—this is their first pass and things are subject to change! (Please excuse the messiness-)

Rei (the Red) and Kai (the Blue) come from—okay this is kinda funny now that I’m writing it out—their AU was inspired by an FNF fan song that I heard awhile back. It was something like “Frostbite but Blue.” The person who made the song (I don’t remember their name off the top of my head) said they were going to post the lore, but as far as I know they never did, so my brain kinda took the concept and ran with it—making it into my own story. (Sorry to whoever that was-)

Rei is the fledgling god of the Sun and the Second Coming of Arceus. He ascended to godhood after his untimely death, returning to earth to protect the one he loves. Rei may look like a massive grump, but in reality, he's a ray of sunshine and one of the most warm-hearted and protective people you'll ever meet. Kai is still a Pokémon Trainer, but he’s also Rei's singular devotee. He's honestly pretty quiet for a Blue, if not a bit high-strung, but he's loyal and sweet, even if he has a bit of a hard time showing it.

The both of them worked together to survive the violent floods and rainfall that devastated their original home, and now live a quiet life together in Sanctuary, going on little adventures here and there to try and reclaim the life they lost bit by bit.

(Okay, time to tag my one fan. @100nebulas , I think you said you wanted more Sanctuary content in general that one time, so I guess you’re gonna be eternally tagged in these lmao. Hope you enjoy :])

[cressthebest]

Crimson Rivers thoughts pt. 45

chapter 68:

1. “Some of those ashes could be Marlene.” bro wtf

2. listing out the names of the people who died in war destroyed me

3. james reacting to his father’s death by flinching away from effie had me broken. i’m destroyed. unwell

4. “The worst part is, when he says what he does next, it's not even a question. "After that, you're leaving."

Sirius' eyes flutter shut, and he croaks, "Yeah, Reggie, I'm leaving again."”

SCREAMING CRYING SOBBING IM UNWELL I WILL NEVER BE OKAY AGAIN!!! I WILL NEVER BE FINE AGAIN

5. “”Sirius, I love you more than anything. You're the first person in this world I ever loved at all. Not Mother, not Father, not James; it was you.”” STILL SCREAMING STILL CRYING STILL SOBBING STILL UNWELL

6. okay just all of the stuff with the black brothers has me in tears. their bond is unbreakable and my heart is in fact very breakable. i’m shattered over them

7. dorcas hasn’t left that spot in over twenty four hours and boy am i worried for her. she needs water. she needs to go pee, i’m sure. she needs to eat something and to rest

8. “Just not afraid to die, then?

No, I'm rather used to it, actually.”

STILL SCREAMING OVER MARLENE!!! STILL SOBBING ACTUALLY

9. “"You. Even you," Dorcas declares harshly, glaring at her. "I'd rather it be you. Instead of her, I'd rather you be dead."”

WOAH! hold up!!! i love marlene as much as the next gal, but nobody goes after my girl lily. she fought and fought and fought as well. she deserved to make it to this side of war too! she tried to keep marlene alive too. hold your horses dorcas.

10. 😧 did you just shoot my lily??? MY LILY??? holy fucking shit. she’s insane.

11. “Some of that blood must have been Marlene's. Dorcas wishes she had bathed in it; Dorcas wants to turn back time and drown in it.” 😟 i’m worried

12. “Never, through any of this, did [James] imagine losing his dad.” kill me. it would be more merciful than making me live after reading that

13. “Monty loved Sirius like a father did; Sirius is allowed to mourn him as a son would.” calling my freind again while sobbing brb

14. god I don’t know how to explain it, but every time pandora is mentioned and she’s alive i let out a huge sigh of relief

15. AROACE PANDORA SUPREMACY

16. i’m so horridly upset that lily lost almost everyone. she lost her family, she lost sybil, she lost kingsley, and dorcas tried to shoot her, so i’m pretty sure she lost her too. lily tried to not love anybody because she was scared of losing them, and sure enough, she was right

17. i get upset when everyone talks about going separate ways. i want everyone to live in one big town and live right next door to each other. i’m thinking hogwarts vibes (except better, ya know) or maybe the mansion they all lived in at the start of ahb!

18. as much as it upsets me that sirius is going to be leaving james and effie and regulus, i’m genuinely so happy that sirius is going to stay with remus

19. oh. i see why sirius has to leave. it’s best for everyone to heal a little before sirius sees his james and regulus again. because otherwise they won’t be able to heal

20. i love wolfstar, and this is so emotional but like, “Just—for right now, what I need is to be with you. I want—that's what I want.” all that does is remind me of high school musical with the “ALL I WANNA DOOOO IS BEE WITH YOU! ONLY YOU! NO MATTER WHERE LIFE TAKES US, NOTHING CAN BREAK US APAAAART, YOU KNOW ITS TRUE, I JUST WANNA BE WITH YOUUUU”

21. ““I wish I did love him that way," Regulus confesses, "because it would have been easier than this. It would have been easier to define how losing him feels, but it's not. James, it's not."”

god, i ache for him. like so badly. i so badly want him to have barty back. more than any other character. (sorry to marlene and monty and sybil and literally everyone else who died)

22. “It's still been three days since the end of the war, and Regulus wonders when they'll stop measuring the passage of time that way.” 😟

23. “Doomed to be a great, big tragedy.” *eye twitch* i’m fine. *even bigger eye twitch*

24. look, i know in the future, everyone will be together again and as happy as they can ever be. but rn, i’m sad

chapter 69:

1. “"I don't care!" Aberforth shouts. "I don't give a damn about your fucked up love story with our sister's murderer, Albus! The fact that you even came to love him to begin with sickens me, let alone that you continued to after he killed Ariana, and still do to this day!"” hell yeah put him in his place

2. “The dead sister card is a little underhanded, admittedly, but Aberforth knows a thing or two about manipulation tactics. He'd have to. Albus is his older brother, after all.” LMAOOOOOO

3. lily mentioning children and sirius and remus just locking eyes and panicking was so fucking funny. bro i’m wheezing

4. BRO AND THEN REGULUS BEING LIKE “you’ve??? never thought about kids??????? wtf??? me and james are having four you little loser??????”

5. dorcas just marching in has me so fucking scared ngl

6. oh god, dorcas became the president coin in this. she wants to make a new hunger games. oh god. oh no

7. as horrifying as it was to see sirius’ train of thought, him being the first one to say no is so fucking satisfying oh my god

8. good for remus fucking standing up for lily. everyone is blaming lily, and finally remus speaks up that the blame cannot rest on lily alone

9. 😧😧 not albus suggesting the jegulus wedding to help with the aftermath. bro he’s fucking insane. it’s so hallow-like of him to suggest that oh my god

10. oh my god dorcas has gone insane, is she about to tell everyone how albus was in love with grindlewald. that’s fucking insane oh my god i can’t wait

11. oh my god it’s even better. it’s that he came up with the rule for the quarterly quell. oh my god this is gonna be great

12. 😧 holy shit. sirius just killed albus. imma be so real, i expected one person to not leave that table, and i thought it would be dorcas, not albus. i thought she would be killed

13. minerva asking lily to be a medic and help save albus, and lily just not will forever be iconic to me

14. as a punishment they banned sirius from the hallow 😭😭😭 babes they knew they had to come up with some punishment as like a way to show actions have consequences, but they chose one that sirius would love 😭😭 that’s so funny to me bro

15. alberforth finally leaving his home is a very satisfying character arch

16. “this story is, first and foremost, about siblings—primarily sirius and regulus ofc—like that is the whole point of this fic, the core of it over anything else. and that feels right considering the source material, like in thg, it was always about katniss' love for prim and how important that was over peeta or gale or anyone else. and i just. i really adore that, and hope i paid a good homage to that, because i really admire it.”

you did. you did pay homage to that. it was abundantly clear that this was about siblings. and i love you for it. thank you, if you see this

alrighty six more chapters to go! i’m in the home stretch yall

[wewillbeseen-butnotbeheard]

(tw? more talk of ending it)

i’m going to go. truthfully, i’m not actually sure what value that statement holds; but that doesn’t change much. i’m going to stop making these now

there’s not much left to say. i can, and will, detach myself from anything and everything that is remotely related to this sort of thing, or even just animals in general. i will delete social media accounts, i will abstain from anything sexual, and intently change my own thought patterns to get out of this. there is no way i could be more totally set on this.

i am human. i can write those words down, yet i can hardly force myself to do as much as mutter the phrase out of my mouth in real life. it’s genuinely painful. less that it feels wrong, and more that it feels like it’s just effectively a form of self-harm. so i’ll keep doing it

i CAN live like this. (i have to) yet i’d definitely benefit from offing myself. it’s not a passive thought that comes around. i am dead set on it but i don’t have a method/nor the guts to do that, probably.

in some way, it’s like what they say about playing with fire and getting burnt. i got a little too close to a community that i am not part of, and have been fucked up extra badly because of it. i’m not attempting to push away something that i AM, because i am not that. (not “nonhuman” in any way at all, i already know this) it only hurts to call myself human because that’s simply what i am in every way. i suppose i AM embracing my identity; THIS IS WHO I AM.

i get told a lot of different shit on a lot of different websites, but it’s all dead wrong. how i can’t wait to just turn everything off and feel okay being a regular human again

i’ve spent my whole life fascinated by the idea of animal transformation, the last >4 years fantasising about it, and the last >1 year LITERALLY obsessing over it. and i’ve spent the last few months with the concept my every thought. i need it more than air. but i’m going to drop this now

i know my own enemy, and now i will release myself from this sort of thing. i’m going to actually live my life like a normal person, make friends, and simply BE a human. i know in my mind that everything will fall into place from there. i have no reason to be experiencing such “species dysphoria”, and i feel like the only one (i might be). people say they can relate, but the vital difference in everything is the fact that I’M a normal human person in the first place. it’s a whole different thing for me

once i’ve posted this, i’ll have already decided to let things go. not my last post i think though. thank you for reading, i guess, if you did, but this is pretty much it. i know what’s not worth fighting for. FUCK THIS. i’m out. forever

[nofacednerd]

Okay now that my excitement over the new season has worn off a little, here’s some season 4 thoughts

Starting out with the stuff I do really like:

- Hughie’s storyline is genuinely so heart wrenching for me. I’m one of those freaks that stayed up watching the new episodes until 6 in the morning and let me tell you, I was VASTLY unprepared to get hit with the childhood divorce trauma at 5 AM. Having him workshop an angry response to his mom was so real of him 😭 excited to see where it goes this season

- BUTCHER! The second they brought in Kessler (who is definitely a real human being that Butcher is seeing only coincidentally when he’s alone and knows a weird amount about him and what’s going on) I thought the rest of the season was going to be Butcher being worse and worse until we go down the route of the comics. Genuinely surprised and kind of delighted that he’s turned a bit of a sympathetic edge this season. I kind of hope we see him and Hughie more, especially after the whole ‘you remind me of my dead little brother’ thing last season.

- Speaking of last season, it seems like they’ve been trying to roll back on some of the problems I had with season 3 (eh. Kind of at least). Butcher apologizing to Ryan for his outburst, Annie and Hughie still being in a pretty good place with their relationship, Hughie talking about regretting the V, ect ect

- Also so glad they remembered that Hughie is actually really good with technology. Usually they only remember it maybe once early on in the season, but they consistently referenced him being the tech guy of the group (though I wish we could have seen Hughie showing Kimiko how to hack into the CIA database 😭 why are the writers so afraid of them having scenes together)

- ALSO so glad they remembered that Hughie and Neuman were really close before her betrayal in season 3!!!!! I hope they have more scenes together later on. I think Neuman, despite everything, still does care about him since she tried to convince Homelander not to kill him

- Sage is really interesting to me tbh, probably one of the few new characters that I’m actually enjoying. Like girl what is your deal

Okay now the bad stuff :/

- I’m kind of annoyed that they’re continuing the trend of sidelining Hughie in favor of focusing more on Butcher vs Homelander, especially because Hughie started as the protagonist of the show. I get that his storyline right now isn’t the most ‘plot relevant’ but it feels like he barely has done anything but be a supporting character in most scenes for Annie or MM to play off of

- Everything feels so…. Disconnected? One of my bigger issues with season 3 was that they pushed Kimiko and Frenchie away from the plot to focus on a more personal story for Frenchie, so their whole deal that season just kind of felt… forgettable? This season is like that but with EVERYONE which concerns me. Shows with the protagonists having their own plot lines that come together in the end work, but The Boys just has too many characters and too few episodes to explore those plot lines meaningfully so that they get wrapped up in a satisfying way. Idk I guess we’ll see

- Speaking of, the show has too many characters. This is a consistent problem each season, where they introduce new characters that kind of take the spotlight over the other ones. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn’t. My biggest problem this season though is Colin. They introduced him off-screen and made him and Frenchie start flirting I guess off-screen. Same with Kiara and Annie. Then when the season started, the show told us to care about these new characters without actually showing us why we should care about them beyond “he’s Frenchie’s boyfriend!!” It’s kind of frustrating?

- This is more minor, but MM is kind of pissing me off :( it’s kind of another case of ‘oh btw all these characters had character development off screen during the time gap between seasons’ that they did during season 3. It’s the same issue I had with Hughie during that season too, he just kind of feels out of character…?

- why do I feel bad for an octopus. Ambrosius girl you can do so much better than the Deep

[localfanbaselurker]

First time watching Voltron: Legendary Defender and documenting my thoughts

This is Season 4

S1-2 | S3 | S5 | S6 | S7 | S8 |

———————————————————————

<this one is going to be shorter, as I have only recently finished this season, and the grief is still fresh (lol), so the thoughts are only just starting to simmer. strap your asses in>

Pre-Season 4 Thoughts

-> Keith joining the blades is going to be a huge plot device, I feel

-> PLEASE for the love of CHRIST let that poor little girl find her brother and father. If they are dead dreamworks better be ready to catch these hands

->I’ve heard people claim this is the “last good season”, but i stay strong 💪 and will watch till the end

->wouldn’t the paladin switch not make sense now? Cus shiro is back as the black paladin and it makes no sense for Lance to be red like it originally had? If anything, he should’ve gone back to blue, and Allura to red, because Allura is very accepting/encouraging of shiro’s role as leader. I guess they didn’t wanna do it all over again. But I digress 🤷‍♀️

->im gonna miss my Pookie (🤍❤️🤍)

Post-S4

->do they do this every two seasons?? Have an epic battle where they have a big preparation and say it’ll 100% end the war but it doesn’t and something crazy happens after they win and it sets up the next season??

->FUCK YEAH PIDGE GOT HER BROTHER BACK IM SCREAMING CRYING THROWING UP 💪💪🔥🔥‼️‼️‼️🙏🙏🙏🙇‍♀️🙇‍♀️

->^genuinely cried so hard during this scene. would’ve cried more if I wasn’t recovering from the initial shock.

->^cried during this one too, but it was happy tears. I could actually just do a whole reaction post to this episode alone. (if you want me to js say so in the rbs/replies)

->the callback to s1! “color-coded of course, because what are we? animals?” AHHH! I’m going insane I love these siblings sooooo much

->okay I’ll stop gushing over them now

->^only valid reaction to meeting Allura. Homegirl is beauty incarnate

->I LIED. im not sorry im never shutting up about them. SHE SHOWS HIM AROUND THE CASTLE AND TELLS HIM EVERYTHING AND EVERY DETAIL AND SHES SO EXCITED CUS SHE JUST GOT HER BRO BACK AND IS JUST RAMBLING ABOUT HER NEW HOME AND ALL THE COOL STUFF SHES BEEN DOING AND HES JUST LISTENING AND IS SUPER EXCITED WITH HER AND ITS SOOOO AMAZING AND ADORABLE AND I COULD DIE

->AND THEN HE TELLS HER HOW THEIR DAD WOULD BE SO PROUD IM DYING IM LITERALLY DEAD STOP.

->AND AND AND THEY WERE ALL WORKING TOGETHER W HUNK TO MAKE THE GALRA TRACKER THING AND THEY WERE BEING SO COOL WITH EACH OTHER AND BEING NERDS TOGETHER AND AND AND AJEUWNDUWJEBEURBDGWUDKAODHD

->okay. ive calmed down. i am normal and can be trusted to simply watch a show.

->^Get his ass, Zarkon. I needed his smug ass to be humbled so bad. Only time I will agree w Zarkon fr.

->i do NOT like Lotor. Can you guys tell already??

->THE SCENE WHERE THEY TRIED TO GET MILKSHAKES AND WERE SHOCKED TO FIND OUT THAT YOU NEED TO MILK A COW STOP.✋ 😭. My high-score on the giggle-meter went up by 300%

->bro I SWEAR shiro looks different. there’s just something about him. the hair gets a pass cus how good of a haircut can you give yourself in space, yk? but that nose scar is definitely a different shade #notmyrodrickshiro

->THE VOLTRON SHOW.

->^Just. That entire episode. It’s getting a whole post actually I need to yap about it.

->^her armor is colored in a way which makes it look both pink and red while making it look like a trick of the light in a way to symbolize that she is acting as keith yet while being a paladin herself and that being unknown in the public eye and showing how they have to cover that up, any suspicion being thrown as a trick of the light. Oh vld animators ily 🫶

->on another note tho why do they always draw lance and shiro to have 30 pounds of ass. what.

->loved when those lesbians decided to take down lotor. Queen shit 💋 we stan 🙇‍♀️🙏

->Lotor is so stupid and pathetic and annoyingly smug and sus and admiral-zhao-y and I hate him but he’s SOOO FREAKING HOT and I can’t hate him completely because he’s so attractive but that just makes me wanna hate him more. He’s a walking red flag but the flag is heart-shaped and honestly idk what to do w that.

->^WHAT. stop. honestly that’s the real reason he was banned from the empire my ass would not want that fucking FREAK within a 30 light year radius of me either

-> while s3 was the klance season, s4 is apparently the allurance season, they have a lot of sweet moments. (granted all started by lance but still, you can almost see allura swooning)

->^pookie. what are you doing… pookie.. no. stop. i don’t like where this is going…

->^POOKIE NO. STOP. ✋ STOP. SAY SIKE RN.

->^oh thank fuck for Lotor.

->^^wait what. why Lotor.

->^^^heartbreaking: worst person you know doesn’t something good for once.

->he definitely wants something out of this. I don’t trust him.

These are thoughts I’ve had compiled for some time now. I will continue to post my thoughts on the tag “laura’s first vld”

I finished this season on 06/30/24. I am on S5E3 as of today (07/06/24)

[knee-stockings]

So I’ve been listening to lots of podcasts at work lately to break up the monotony of my office job. Mainly they’re horror, suspense/thriller, drama, that kind of thing. Trying to give ratings without spoilers~

(Check out updated pod recs here)

The Left Right Game (a journalist investigating an urban legend that gets increasingly more dangerous as they go): 5/5, this being one of the first ones I listened to set the bar really high tbh, it was great, immersive sound design, genuinely suspenseful and creepy moments, interesting plot, my only gripe is that I didn’t love the ending but I couldn’t dock a star just for that, highly recommend, maybe I’ll retire to Wintry Bay someday 

Alice Isn’t Dead (delivery trucker goes searching for her believed dead wife, comes across supernatural towns and creatures and a conspiracy that goes way deeper than one missing woman): 5/5, so so good, enjoyed a lot, I loved learning the truth about the Thistle men, still don’t completely understand oracles but that’s okay, some delightfully creepy moments, this will be high on my recommendation list (also it’s by the Welcome to Night Vale people, which I actually haven’t listened to lmao)

Harley Quinn and the Joker: Sound Mind (it’s a Harley Quinn origin story basically): 5/5, very enjoyable, sound design great, plot was fun, I don’t know how accurate this story is to the original Harley Quinn origin story but I liked this a lot

The Burned Photo (two women try to fight a familial curse haunting their bloodlines): 4/5, not bad at all, I thought the sound design was great and immersive but I thought the monster’s voice was a bit goofy idk, the plot wasn’t bad though ofc it was pretty bittersweet and sad in the end, tho I think it was never going to be happy for everyone involved

Blackwood (group of teens investigate the town urban legend and uncover more than they bargained for): I can’t decide…3.5 maybe? It was okay. I didn’t love it or hate it, I’m pretty neutral about it. It was interesting enough

Gaslight (girl goes missing and then reappears to her best friend years later with little explanation): 3/5, feels like there should be another season, wasn’t as dramatic/suspenseful as I thought it would be (maybe that’s my own fault tho, from the description and stuff I thought there would be more to it)

Ice-Cream (teens suspect the friendly neighborhood ice cream man of abducting little kids and uncover a dark secret): 4.5/5, interesting and a lil creepy, there’s something oddly funny about hearing someone scream “fuck you Beelzebub” even in context, sound design is pretty good and voice acting is great, finale was also pretty good but I’m docking half a star bc of that very last bit and bc I said so, overall short n’ sweet, no pun intendo (I’m kinda glad that it’s only the one season and not super long, gives the feeling of not overstaying its welcome. Also in awe that they made it within like a month, gonna go listen to their other podcast Cascadia too)

Cascadia (submarine expedition to uncharted waters, gone wrong, we almost died!?): 5/5, by the Ice-Cream people so I expected great sound design and voice acting and said expectations were met tbh, yes god love the drama, ocean depths are inherently scary to me so this is top tier horror, season one was chef’s kiss beautiful and I heard season 2 is coming so I’ll be waiting eagerly for that

Listening now:

Within the Wires (season 1 is relaxation cassette tapes from another world, season 2 is a guided museum tour I think): also by the WTNV people, interesting so far, the plot that unfolded in the first season was cool to watch as it played out, but also I am so sad. I like it so far

Rabbits (girl goes searching for her friend who disappeared because of this mysterious Rabbits game): feels like a really slow start after a few episodes, I kinda wanna get to more action soon please

Wake of Corrosion (apocalypse where characters are trying to find other survivors and also answers): mild shrug, not sure what to make of it just yet. Only like 2 episodes in so I think I need to give it a bit

Ars Paradoxica (scientist accidentally invents time travel and is thrown back to the 1940s): pretty interesting so far, science is fun 

Spoiler comment for Cascadia under the cut bc it's the one I just finished and I have Thoughts

As much as I enjoyed Cascadia, when I think about the expedition for more than 2 seconds I get confused. Not the whole alien thing, that’s fine, it’s Badger and Maria and their ulterior motives. Why in the world did Badger spend millions of dollars to make a submarine that’s faulty on purpose? And there was so much media coverage around it so the second something went wrong reporters were practically beating him over the head with microphones, so why risk so much bad press? Plus sacrificing three other talented divers who trusted him with their lives??? That’s the most confusing to me. There’s no way Badger foresaw them getting attacked underwater and losing Declan alone, so he must have been fully prepared to lose captain AND crew. Holden said that he saw Badger as a father, and yet he chose Holden to die? He said he handpicked them, so what did Holden, Alia, or Iris ever do to him to deserve being sent on a suicide mission? Doing all this just to get rid of Declan and be with Maria doesn’t feel right. Feels like there should be something more there. Tldr: surely Badger had another reason for conducting the suicide mission, right? Also since season 2 starts with Lila all grown up, a diver just like her father, I wanna know her opinions of her mother and of Badger. Did she learn about her mother’s betrayal? Is Badger still involved in funding deep sea diving or did the FBI take him out of that? Omg who’s the father of her little sibling…I’m so curious…

[drpsps]

Random shit I said while watching different saw movies!!! Pt1

Spoiler Warning

Saw - “Adam isn’t THAT fine” (lying right through my teeth).

“Teehee Larry you naughty boy” (was extremely high).

“Y’all their actually gay” (chainshipping bitches)

“I just know if Adam survived he would NEVER stop fucking with Lawrence” (Annoying bf who?).

“My pookie John is so silly!” (Besties hear me out, sometimes the pookie is a crazy old man).

���I hate you Lawrence.” (During the whole “I gotta go get help” thing).

“Adam’s thoughts were “Why is that body throwing it back?” during the scene where John gets up.” (I am crazy).

Saw 2 - “Y’all fuck that kid.” (I’m a hater fr).

“His dad is a fucking dick and I hope he DIES!” (He indeed does not die).

“Amanda you’re so silly.” (She was being crazy).

“I hate everyone but Amanda and that dumb ass kid.” (It was that first scene where someone died).

“Okay okay just can everyone calm down.” (Literally any fight scene).

“Damn HE’S BALD AND TORTURING PEOPLE WITH HAIR!” (Gotta quote a good ole tiktok).

“Shit man’s is beating an old guy whose dying.” (I thought it was funny).

“I’M SO GLAD THE KID SURVIVED!” (Me before the reveal).

“Oh fuck that.” (Me after the reveal).

Saw 3 - “Amanda calm your tits.” (Teehee).

“John what the fuck.” (I think he said some dumb shit).

“Okay bitches calm down.” (Anytime Amanda was beefin with the doctor chick).

“Shitttttt!” (x20 because y’all wtf).

“I thought he was gonna change!” (Dude remained vengeful).

“Well everything is fucked now.” (Amanda montage).

“Girl shut up.” (The doctor chick said something super cunty).

“Yas queen!” (Amanda said something super cunty).

“NOOOO!” (any fucked scene).

“YASSSSS!” (Any good scene).

Saw 4 - “OMG IT’S MY POOKIE BEAR MARK!” (Mark appeared on screen).

“I wonder how they didn’t know it was Mark. The constant side eye was a dead giveaway.” (We were barely a few minutes in and he did it three times).

“My pookie wookie isn’t crazy.” (Mark hoffman is extremely crazy).

“His delulu became trululu.” (Mark casually killing).

“If John is dead, then why would Mark join now?” (Before reveal).

“OOOOOHHHH.” (After reveal).

“Mark definitely listens to slipknot.” (Casual observation and definitely not a projection).

“I would NOT survive a Hoffman trap.” (Bitch rigged everything).

“Oh pookie…” (Near the end of the movie).

“I’m glad Eric died..” (Randomly remembering he’s there).

Saw 5 - “IS STRAHM HERE YES HE IS!” (That’s my genuine reaction when he showed up).

“Perez get your dog on a leash.” (Strahm was being a little asshole).

“Meow.” (Anytime both Hoffman and Strahm are on screen).

“I wanna eat them up.” (Me at Hoffman, and Strahm).

“He’s delulu.” (Talking about Hoffman).

“He’s trululu.” (Talking about Strahm).

“He’s not that bad.” (Talking about Strahm).

“Sorry he sucks sometimes.” (Talking about Hoffman).

“Eat shit asshole, die in a trap.” (Hoffman at Strahm).

“Y’all I’m so cool.” (Me on liking all the apprentices).

“My pookie wookie is trying.” (Me about Hoffman).

“HE NEEDS LOVE!” (Me about Strahm).

“I HOPE YOU ALL DIE.” (Minus Strahm and Hoffman).

“I’m so sorry baby girl..” (Me anytime Strahm is on screen).

“He’s cringe but he’s free.” (Me at Strahm and Hoffman).

“Damn someones salty.” (Angry Hoffman scenes).

“Bro is down bad.” (Strahm investigated Hoffman).

“Y’all this shit is crazy.” (About the traps).

“I’m still mad at hoffman.” (About the trap he put Strahm in).

“Okay what the fuck!” (end of film during Strahms death scene).

I need to watch 6-9 and I’ll make a second post.

I love these films with all my heart and you can definitely tell that my faves are literally every jigsaw apprentice (Including Logan from the later films) and most of the male characters (I.E. Adam and Peter Strahm). I honestly think the first three movies tie in together better than the later movies (seeing as we keep this crazy shit going).

I hope y’all enjoyed reading this shit.

[paletigers]

Brahms Heelshire Headcanons

I’ve seen the takes on here and I am disappointed. So I will now set the record straight and provide some hot takes on this man.

•He’s very intelligent ↳ I don’t know why Brahms fans don’t give him full credit but this guy is insanely intelligent. His entire room exemplifies this: the walls being diy soundproofed/insulated, the beartraps and animal traps in his room takes competence to set up properly and place in a strategical manner, the countless number of books in his room so hes obviously well read, etc. etc. 

•He’s a master manipulator ↳ Along with his intelligence comes his manipulation skills. I think the fans of Brahms often misinterpret the whole “baby talk” Brahms does and says it’s a fetish thing or a mommy kink thing, but I believe it is pure manipulation. There’s a lot of context in the movie that gives this point weight. Greta is said to have had a miscarriage, so pretending to be a dead boy that gives Greta comfort is just a manipulation tatic. This can also be seen when Brahms having just revealed himself uses a baby voice to call out to Greta after striking Malcolm. ANOTHER THING, the whole “going to bed” sequence I also feel is misinterpreted. I think it is a mixture of self ‘satisfaction’ as well as manipulation on Brahms’ part. He’s obviously infatuated with Greta and doesn’t want to lose her, so he plays along to get back into her good graces after almost killing Malcolm.  ((I don’t want to yuck anyone’s yum, but I really don’t see the mommy kink thing. I can see him being a submissive of sorts however.))

•He’s the one truly in control of his parents. ↳We’re told in the movie that Brahms parents are the reason he lives in the walls and can’t come out, that they made the rules for Brahms to follow, and that they hire nannies to take care of Brahms for when they eventually go off to abandon Brahms. BUT I think this is a load of horseshit. I believe the Brahms doll was his idead and was a way to control his family in a sense. I also believe that at first, Brahms was probably just forced to stay in the house out of sight at first, but as he grew up and got bigger and too much to handle, that he made the choice to live in the walls. I imagine that the secret room he lives in was probably a playroom that his parents didn’t even know existed and as he grew older it became his bedroom. The dude is tall as fuck and stacked for gods sakes, he took out Malcolm kind of easily (by suprise, but still). I can’t imagine that the parents knew about all the secret entrances and chose to live in the house and in the master bedroom knowing their child could sneak up on them and kill them in their sleep without being genuinely frightened by him and controlled by him. If they had the power, why didn’t they make it so Brahms physically could not leave the walled up bedroom??? Why didn’t they close all the secret entrances?? Where is the thought. The doll is also pretty random for Mrs. Heelshire to have wanted made, since Brahms killed that girl as a child. She wants a constant reminder of the boy who murdered a girl and lit himself on fire accidentally? Okaaaay. We see Brahms at the end of the movie repair his mask, what if he made the doll or wanted the doll to be made? It’s a power move on his end.

Okay, now for the actual hot takes •BRAHMS HEELSHIRE IS A TRANS MAN!!!! ↳ So OBVIOUSLY I’m not saying this is canon, but this is my personal favorite Brahms headcanon. There’s so much subtext that can be interpreted in this way and here’s what I think: It (1. Explains the reason for the creation of “the boy” doll (2. Why Brahms has such a disdain for his lush lifestyle (3. Could give a reason to the death of his childhood friend at his own hands, and (4. Why that fucking doll SO:

JUST GONNA SAY THIS BEFORE I START: this headcanon is based off my personal experience as a trans guy and someone with mental illness. I don’t want it to seem like being trans is the reason he did all of this stuff, but a different explanation to why all of this could have happened. (1.) The doll is the “accurate” representation of Brahms. If we are going with the pretense that Brahms is transgender (FtM), this would mean he would have grown up in a strict, gender role inforced, conservative household and been raised as a girl. Being FtM, this would have been an incredibly triggering and traumatic experience, seeing how the Heelshire parents are so strict in the movie. This probably would have included punishments for Brahms acting out of line or “unsightly” in regards to gender presentation. It can also explain the relationship between Brahms and his parents. We only see what the movie shows us (obviously) so we don’t have much insight into why Brahms acts this way or why he holds his parents hostage in the way he does. It seems that Brahms is entirely to blame while the poor parents are just victims. But we know nature and nurture are really important things to a child’s syche growing up, and I don’t entirely believe the parents are blameless, this headcanon or not. For this particular headcanon, I think the parents probably abused Brahms in the way “old timey”/ “traditional” parenting works like the authoritarian parenting style relying heavily on punishment. While Brahms obviously has a mental illness that could explain the way he acts, this could have been combated if the Heelshires had raised Brahms in a way that recognized their child was ill and got him treatment. The way they phrase his personality as a child gives some speculation that the parents knew he acted out of the ordinary, but seemingly they didn’t do anything about it. My own personal headcanon is that Brahms probably suffers from some sort of personality disorder such as HPD, historonic personality disorder or some sort of other disorder. People with HPD when abused or in an instable home environment can increase risk, which could have led to Brahms lashing out during childhood. For this headcanon in particular, having a personality disorder while being abused in addition to having feelings of gender dysphoria could have caused Brahms to “snap” in a sense. I dunno, food for thought. ((author projecting onto brahms whaaat no way))

(2.) So like, Brahms is obviously very unhappy with his current living situation. He prefers living in (his own sense, i suppose) a comfortable, personalized cramped room rather than even step foot outside into the actual house. In the movie, we’re told they forced him to live in the walls to hide the fact he wasn’t actually dead, but I mean genuinely how does that make sense, especially if they’re scared of him. They have enough money and resources to cover up the murder of the girl and the best case scenario for them is..that? (once again it kind of gives weight to the abuse theory because how is that a healthy mindset or actions to take after your kid does something like that??) So TLDR, I believe that the reason for living in the walls even with his power over his family is because he just genuinely hates it there. Living with abusers in a house that caused you so much pain that living in the walls seemed like the best option. It also gives him freedom to sneak around and have freedom despite how ‘princess tower’ of a situation it looks like.  (3.) Why did he kill that girl? In the movie, the explaination would just be “he’s insaaanee oooooh mentally ill person scarrryy” but I suggest something with a bit more substance. The girl, Emily, probably seemed like everything Brahms couldn’t be for his parents, like a constant reminder of his failure to be the perfect daughter. Emily could have been favorited by his parents and she could have been a constant comparison against Brahms as a form of abuse. (why can’t you be more like emily, stuff like that). Obviously thats not Emily’s fault, but in a child’s mind in his state it could be his reason to “get rid” of her.  (4.) What’s up with that doll? If, previously stated in the post that the doll is not the mothers idea, then why would Brahms request the doll to be made? ITS A REPRESENTATION OF BRAHMS WANTING A CHILDHOOD OF BEING RAISED A BOY!!!!! GOD DAMN IT!!! Forcing his parents to take care of this doll of how he sees himself and his parents resent him for it??? COME ON THATS SO FUCKING FUN!! Especially since Brahms wears a matching porcelain mask!!! It’s a facade!! It’s his inner feelings of how he sees himself!! Especially since he was burned on his face, he wouldn’t be able to stand the sight of himself already, making the mask and the doll would probably give him a fucked up sense of gender euphoria!!! I THINK ITS NEAT!!! I only have a couple of regular headcanons for him since we don’t know much about his character but the trans headcanon is all the meat of this post and how I feel about him. I think it gives a really fun reading of his character and provides an explaination to all the weird shit happening in the manor. Let me know what you guys think, obviously if you don’t agree with this headcanon thats cool! Cis Brahms is just as fun :)

[allamericanb-tch]

art heist, baby! thoughts (1)

doing this for every fic i read apparently. did i read half of this in one sitting? yes. will i finish the rest of it tonight? also probably yes.

chapter 1

i am So Excited To Read This

james! ahhhh

remus! ahhhh

remus being a bowie fan in every AU 

james just being james 

wait is james going to steal art because he’s Broke ?! i’m here for it honestly

ooooh is it regulus

or sirius

brazil mention!

oh! money laundering!

IT IS REGULUS!! AHHH!!!

not james already falling for regulus you haven’t even MET the man you spoke on the phone BRIEFLY this is so james of james to do. james jameses like no other

chapter 2

remus 😭😭 i mean valid. james is being very. james. 

“You’re going to get murdered and wind up on some true-crime podcast” that’s the dream isn’t it

“and not because he didn’t know how to parallel park.” REAL does anyone actually know how to parallel park

is sirius the Other Man

james being In Love with regulus ALREADY still 

he got the job! was there ever any doubt

ahhh i wonder who’s on their “team”

EVAN!!!!!

barty mention!

james. dear sweet james. 

evan is so real. 

i’m sorry the old james can’t come to the phone right now. why? oh! cause he’s dead!

appreciation for these end notes

“Regulus: Do this art heist with me or I will kill you and not feel bad abt it at all

James: You're so lovely. So pretty. So beautiful.”

chapter 3

new hampshire ?! (🎶i’m mean because i grew up in new england🎶) (sincere apologies to the amount of times i break into song in my ‘[fanfic] thoughts’ things i genuinely cannot help myself i’m a stereotypical choir kid and a former theater kid)

no way james is just gonna abandon remus. he doesn’t have it in him.

ok remus (?)

GRANT MENTION!!!!!!

THE DRIVER IS NAMED KREACHER 😭

REMUS?! WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE this is hilarious

lily!!!!!!!! i would know that red hair anywhere

“James was panicking. Why was everyone so hot?” this is the best line that has ever and will ever be written

marlene!!!

james is so lovestruck (🎶got lovestruck went straight to my head got lovesick all over my bed🎶)

“Alright, so what have you two been in jail for,” i’m in love with you marlene mckinnon

remus and marlene 

PETER i lowkey forgot about peter

“James wasn’t sure what he thought of Regulus other than that he felt general splendour whenever they made eye contact.”

chapter 4

the summary: “James just stares at Regulus, like a lot. Like A LOT a lot.”

remus not being able to sleep on planes is so real

i love new england so much (i have never been) 

“No relationships were permitted among group members. Absolutely no sex either.” yeah there’s no way this rule will be broken. nope.

“Remus believed it to be a cardinal sin to write in the margins of books and kept a separate journal to document his thoughts while reading.” remus it’s okay to be wrong sometimes

THEYRE LEARNING AMERICAN ACCENTS 😭😭

“Remus was already teasing him mercilessly claiming he had the ‘hots for teacher’” i love remus

james being a little exhibitionist

james 😭😭

the art history is art historying

the jegulus is jegulusing

i was gonna stop here but the end notes say we get sirius in the next chapter so now i HAVE to read it

chapter 5

oh hanky panky in this chapter ?!

frank!!!

omg are they detectives ahhhh enemies to lovers wolfstar ?!

PANDORA!!!! 

wolfstar?! wolfstar.

ahhhhhhhhhh (!!!!!!!!!!!!!)

moony!

oh, remus.

peter being a helpful icon

chapter 6

everyone helping james pick an outfit for his ‘date’ ahhhh

“you do look nice” AHHHH

regulus likes oranges!!!!!!! he’s just like me fr

REGULUS BEING A CHILDHOOD DIRECTIONER HELP

james would like harry best

their favorite colors being red and green <3

of course regulus would like that painting

james: “i would steal that painting for you”

regulus just. forgetting he’s driving.

the jegulus is jegulusing

 chapter 7

“It’s not even cooking, you literally had to put the bread in the toaster and remember to pull it out,” Remus fumed again. 

“Your father should’ve remembered to pull it out.”

james being a teachers pet 

eeeee wolfstar 

they’re both david bowie fans AS THEY SHOULD BE

oh no 😟 

peter and james being lifesavers 

eeeee they’re throwing a party

“I want a nice house, a house with a family and enough money for that house to be on the tropical beach somewhere. I want enough money so that nothing will go wrong that can’t be fixed.” peter’s just like me fr

them bonding >>>

dorlene!

JAMES WHAT ARE YOU DOING

not james ratting everyone out to regulus

eeeeee jegulus

KISS GUYS COME ON

chapter 8

sirius!

sirius is down bad

i love fralice

sirius making The Joke will never not be funny

their date <3

pandora! 

REGULUS ?! what are you doing here babe

REGULUS STOLE SIRIUS’ FAVORITE PAINTING OMG

oooh they’re arguing

SIRIUS GOT SHOT?!

gasp

chapter 9

i like that the chapters are short

“nothing much, just 1.2 million” yeah regulus that’s nothing…

ooooh dorlene i love them

regulus just drowning the bathroom

the painting 

jegulus ❤️‍🩹

THEYRE HUGGING

“Oh, James thought. So this is what he was supposed to do. This is what his arms were made for, to hold Regulus Black for as long as he wanted. Until the last day. Until forever.”

a hug from james fleabag potter would solve all of my problems

chapter 10

barty calling everyone criminals and common whores

guns this is so america core 

“mary mary quite contrary” mention

i love barty and evan so much 

oh my god. did james make regulus orange muffins AHHHHH i love james so much omg 

ahhhh jegulus 

pinky promise ❤️‍🩹

ok i need to read another. i would not be surprised if i read this all in one sitting. 

chapter 11

sirius pov! 

their childhood ☹️

wolfstar ❤️‍🩹

not remus reading anna karenina 😭

😧

remus just. lying. to regulus

i love james. 

nooo he and sirius have to be sneaky now ☹️

oh no remus and james are fighting ☹️

ok they aren’t fighting anymore.

james potter, defender of love and lovers everywhere. 

chapter 12

another short chapter! i actually love short chapters so much

this fic is lowkey making me want to steal art

james and peter passing notes i love them

oh my 😭

chapter 13

will this be the chapter james and regulus kiss (pleaseeee)

ahhhhh their date

james can’t ride a bike 😭

minor spelling mistake 🤬

james and regulus bonding

ahhhh jegulus is jegulusing

LUCIUS?! boooo get outta here

the paddle

ahhh i’m nervous for the auction

ahhh regulus not moving his hand 

they’re flirting 

aghhhhh they need to kiss

chapter 14

wolfstar is so illicit affairs

ahhhhhhhh (!!!!!!!!!)

yeah sirius would have a motorcycle tattoo

chapter 15

HANKY PANKY IN THIS CHAPTER?! PLEASE LET IT BE JEGULUS OH MY GOD

guys my heart is beating omg

omg they’re painting each other that’s so cute 

brazil mention! i love brazil 

THEYRE KISSING!!!!!!!! 

oh. 

oh!!!

AHHHH!!!!!!!

giggling my feet so hard rn 

chapter 16

jegulus is JEGULUSING 

guys does this fic actually get sad or

because i’m almost halfway done and i have not felt one emotion other than HAPPINESS

regulus ☹️

oh no lily what’s happening

remus ?!

regulus being jealous of lily 😭 please sweetie lily is very obviously a lesbian and i love her and MARYLILY

regulus being a donna tartt lover

chapter 17

i’m getting nervous (hamilton ref ?!)

what is regulus yapping about

oh ?!

a coffee shop ?! the wolfstar coffee shop perchance ?!

so it seems

oh me oh my

oh ?!

WHAT 

oh. my. god. 

trojan horse ?!

ok yeah

guys i’m scared 

chapter 18

remus ?!

guys i’m scared 

ahh

evan 😭

nooooo why is this not only happiness anymore

regulus just being a hypocrite 

oh me oh my

the lack of question marks in this dialogue is absolutely heinous but i’m willing to look past it because this fic is so good

marlene 😭😭

“Then, the sun peaked above the horizon and the tea went cold and Regulus was alone.” ☹️☹️

i can’t do this anymore i need a break and it isn’t even getting BAD yet

[madam-wakefield]

Open When Chapter 23

A03 Link 

Summary:

Chapter 1 Chapter 2 Chapter 3 Chapter 4 Chapter 5 Chapter 6 Chapter 7 Chapter 8 Chapter 9 Chapter 10 Chapter 11 Chapter 12 Chapter 13  Chapter 14  Chapter 15  Chapter 16 Chapter 17 Chapter 18 Chapter 19 Chapter 20 Chapter 21 Chapter 22 When a few years into their relationship Bernie is asked to go back to the army and deploy Serena isn’t sure how she’s going to get through the nine months without her girlfriend. What she doesn’t expect is for it to be her girlfriend who has the perfect set of surprises to get her through both the best and the worst days. Canon divergent - Elinor lives (well actually the accident never happens), Raf lives, and Cameron isn’t a total ass! The staff of AAU also probably didn’t all work on there at the same time in canon but do in this! The fic is already fully written with the first few chapters having already been Beta’d. 27 chapters including the epilogue. Hoping to post every Monday and Friday!

Open if…

Serena is confused when Ric Griffin steps into her theatre scrubbed in and tells her to let him take over. There is absolutely no reason for him to be here let alone taking over her surgery.

“Why would I do that?” She questions, genuinely perplexed. “I mean I know I’ve only just started but everything is going fine, and this is definitely much more my expertise than yours.” 

“Serena,” she looks up at his tone and it’s as her eyes connect with Ric’s that she knows something isn’t right. 

“Okay,” Serena concedes unable to control the quiver in her own voice despite knowing nothing. “She’s got…”

“Don’t worry I’ve already checked her file, just go.” There is an air of urgency in Ric’s voice that she isn’t used to hearing expect when it comes to time critical emergency surgery and it does nothing to put her mind at east.  As she washes down, she closes her eyes and breathes, because this cannot be what she thinks it is. 

She instinctively knows to go to her office and as she gets closer, she can see through the blinds and there is her confirmation, stood in her office is a gentleman in uniform. Her mind starts to swirl but she needs to stay focused. She quickens her pace, needs to get into her office and find out what the news is. 

She on autopilot as she walks into the office, shutting the door behind her as the man in uniform instantly holds out his hand. “Ms Campbell I am Captain Brown; do you want to sit down before I continue?” 

She shakes her head, the “no” coming from her lips as if by its own accord, she probably should but she feels rooted to the spot, unsure if her legs would move any further even if she wanted them to.

“I’m here as you are the next of kin of Major Berenice Wolfe.” Serena winces at the name on Bernie’s behalf. “I regret to inform you that as of 7pm yesterday evening she is missing in action.” 

“I, what, I’m …” she can’t formulate words. She isn’t being told Bernie is dead, which she must admit had been her first thought when she’d seen the man, Captain Brown, in her office. But she is being told that Bernie, her partner, the love of her life, is missing in action, but she doesn’t understand. 

“There was an explosion,” Captain Brown begins as if he can read her thoughts. “At the field hospital that Major Berenice Wolfe was working within. Her body armour and ID tags were found within the location of the explosion. There was no body so currently all avenues are being explored.” Serena sways unsteadily on her feet, while miniature scenes of what might have happened to Bernie play in her mind like on a TV screen that she can’t shut off.

The silence stretches on, but in the end, she forces her voice to break through the haze, apologising to Captain Brown to the silence.  

“No need, I understand it’s natural that what I’ve told you is a shock. I’m sorry I don’t come with better news. We will of course keep you informed of any updates at the soonest possible point. I’m afraid I must leave now, I have two more of Bernie’s next of kin to inform, if you happen to know them, can I please ask you give adequate time for me to deliver the news before contacting them.”

She watches as Captain Brown leaves, and it’s as the door clicks and if finalising the conversation that the emotions come. She lets out a truly guttural sob as she instinctively sinks into Bernie’s chair, pulling her legs up to her chest, hugging her arms around herself tightly as if she’s trying to stop herself falling apart. Her Bernie is missing. She had let Bernie go on this tour because Bernie had needed closure, but while the thought had always been there at the back of her mind, she never really imagined losing Bernie. She shakes her head then because Bernie isn’t dead, or she hasn’t been told she’s dead. She’s been told she’s missing. 

It’s while these thoughts are running round her head, tears streaming down her cheeks and body racked with sobs that she feels the hand come to rest on her back. She looks up to see Morven’s eyes full of concern. 

She fights with her own brain, her own mouth trying to force the words to form. “B…b.” She shakes her head, trying to let Morven’s hand which is now rubbing small circles into her back centre her.  

She takes a deep breath before saying “Bernie’s missing in action. Explosion, they’ve found her body armour.” It’s all she can say before she is sobbing again, she doesn’t know how she’s still got tears to give. Her whole-body shakes and she feels like her world has literally turned upside down. 

Morven puts her arms round her then, pulling her to her feet before guiding them both gently into the visitors’ chairs, and she allows herself to be held by her. If anyone has any idea what this feels like it’s Morven, Serena still can’t full comprehend what it must have been like for Morven losing Arthur so soon after they’d found each other. Doesn’t ever want to be in Morven’s position.

She’s not sure how long they sit there before she goes from crying to furious. “She was due home in a little over three weeks. Three bloody weeks. Why now! I know she couldn’t ever promise to come home, but she always promised this was it, that she’d stop after this that she just needed it for closure. Why does she have to be so fucking noble? Why did I tell her she could go? If I’d have said no, she wouldn’t have gone, and she’d be okay.” Serena isn’t sure if she’s raging with herself of Bernie but the outburst helps for a split second before making her feel even worse.

“Serena stop!” Morven’s hands grab hold of her biceps, with a lot more force than Serena is used to from Morven. “You can’t blame yourself for this, Bernie wouldn’t want that!” Wants to yell that she doesn’t know what Bernie would want as she isn’t here to ask her, but knows Morven is speaking the truth. “You let her go because of how much you love her. Plus, you said it yourself she’s missing it doesn’t mean she’s dead.”

Serena battles with her own thoughts for a while. A stream of different concepts battling to be the dominant idea in her brain before all of it is overtaken by the thought of Jason. Knows that she must be the one to tell him about this before it manages to spread through the hospital. Knows only too well that the rumour mill is one of the most efficient parts of the hospital. Before once again being enraged at the idea of something so important spreading through a rumour mill at all. Serena asks Morven to send Jasmine to find him.  When he arrives five minutes later, Jason doesn’t wait for Serena to invite him inside the office or to ask him to sit down, he just does it, because he’s Jason and that’s what he does.

“Bernie’s dead, isn’t she?” She hears him ask like it’s the simplest question in the world. Like that if the answer to that question had been yes, their lives wouldn’t have shattered. But it’s Jason and Serena gets that.

“No Jason, she isn’t dead.” She’s not sure how much her own brain believes that statement right now, but Jason needs to facts. “She’s what they call missing in action.” Serena continues, “Do you get what that means?” She needs to make sure Jason understands this, understands what it all means. What the outcomes might be.

“The army can’t find her?” Jason says looking a little puzzled. “How can you just not find a person.”

Serena presses her fingers to the bridge of her nose; her own emotions are too raw for this, but she has to be the strong one for Jason. Forces herself to find the right words to explain. “It means that there was an accident of sorts, they’ve found some of Bernie’s belongings but not Bernie herself. That’s where it gets a little complicated because they aren’t sure where she went and if they’ll ever find her.

“So, we just have to wait? Bernie might be alive and might be dead and we all we can do is wait?.”

“That’s right Jason” Serena says taking his hand and squeezing it gently.

“But then who is going to watch all the episodes of world’s strongest man with me?”

“Oh Jason,” she says gently, because of course it’s something like that that upsets Jason out of all this, because that’s just who he is. That is the person that Bernie has always accepted where so many never have.

“I will!” Serena says not an ounce of doubt in her voice. It’s quiet again for a while before Jason unexpectedly breaks the silence.

“I miss her Auntie Serena” and Serena’s heart shatters all over again because for Jason to be verbalising such a thing he must be finding it extremely hard.

“I know you do Jason, I do too but we’ll get through this together.” After that Jason is determined to go back to work and finish his shift, Serena lets him do what he needs. She instead stays in the office; not sure she’s ever going to be able to face anything outside of the four walls of their office again.

Later, when she’s been left with her own thoughts for far too long and just before Raf and Fletch are about to take her and Jason home Morven slips into the office again. Serena looks up briefly before continuing to stare at the hands she’s ringing within her lap.

“Serena?” The tone is a question, so she looks up to see Morven sat in her chair.

Something ivory laid upon the desk in-front of her.

She sees Morven take a deep breath and knows she isn’t going to like what she says. “Serena, before Bernie went away, she gave me a variety of things for you and while I have loved giving you most of them this,” she says tapping the envelope “is one I hoped I’d never have to give you.”

Serena watch as the envelope is slid towards her, fingers reaching out to pick it up as soon as it’s close enough. She turns it over in her fingers and as her eyes take note of the words written on it her fists clench tighter, just loose enough not to cause damage to the envelope.

“Serena – Open if I go missing in action.” Her eyes stream with tears without her permission. These envelopes from Bernie have brought her so much joy over the months and now this.

She is quiet for a while then, Serena just letting the tears fall, what’s the point in hiding them. She’s not hiding her grief, not for anyone. “Bernie asked me to give you this if something like this ever happened,” Morven say softy. “But she also told me to tell you, to only open it when you feel ready.” Serena wants to remark it’s a stupid thing to say. Wants to argue that of course she’s ready because this is a letter written by her lover, but it’s exactly the reason she isn’t ready.

Raf and Fletch take her and Jason home after that, Raf driving Serena’s car and Fletch following along behind in his own so that Raf can get home once they’ve dropped them off. Once they’re back Raf and Fletch check they’re going to be okay, to which Serena assures them they are, even if the words sound false to her own ears. How can she ever be okay again?

She keeps her promise to Jason and watches the world’s strongest man with him, but she can’t help but notice he doesn’t delete it off the sky box like he normally would but instead leaves it there. His own little sign of hope that Bernie will one day return home despite the circumstances.

It’s only once Jason is fast asleep that Serena allows herself what she needs. She sits herself in bed, wine bottles on her nightstand, very full wine glass in hand, she pulls her legs up so that as she brings Bernie’s pillow to rest on top of her knees, she can feel the woman surround her with every breath. It’s only then that she removes the picture of Bernie from her nightstand, placing it on top of the pillow. Bringing her thumb to the glass to stroke at Bernie’s face. It’s then that the tears come for the first time since she stepped foot in the house. She doesn’t really make a sound per say, but the tears come and come and don’t seem to stop.

“Where are you Bernie,” she says, long swigs of wine between each word, tears dripping on to the glass of the frame. She doesn’t say anything for a while, drains 3 glasses of wine far too quickly before uncorking a new bottle and filling her wine glass to the rim again.

“If you could see me now,” she says looking at Bernie’s picture. “God knows what could be happening to you.” Her tears quicken again at the thought, and she feels like someone is literally squeezing her chest tight. “Yet here I am drinking myself into an oblivion for the night, so I don’t have to think. Don’t have to miss you.” She knocks back half of the glass then because she maybe several things, but she isn’t a lightweight and one bottle isn’t going to make her forget.

“I know you we never able to promise me you’d come home, that always went unsaid between us because we knew it wasn’t a promise you could be sure to keep. But I always wanted you to stay safe. My brave fearless soldier. I’m not sure if I can do this without you Bernie. I’d never been so sure about anything until I met you. You turned my life upside down, ran and then came back and since that moment I’ve never been so sure that I wanted to spend my entire life with you.” She does it again then, finishes the half a glass of wine, quickly pouring herself another full glass.

“Look at me, like this when you could be anywhere. You could be alive right?” She has to say that to keep the tiniest spark of hope alive. “You could be injured or captured, or god only knows what.” The thought is enough to make her down the entire wine glass and pick up the bottle, she needs to forget. I know you can’t hear me, you’re 3000 miles away after all, but if you have any say, any say at all please stay brave soldier. She moves herself to lie down, head now buzzing from the speed in which she just finished two bottles of wine. She hugs Bernie’s pillow close, laying the photo back on her nightstand to keep it safe, rubbing her fingers along Bernie’s face once more. “Please find a way to come home.”

When she wakes the next morning, the sunlight is streaming through the window and her head hurts. It takes her a second to remember why because she’s meant to be at work today, but then it hits her, and it feels like she’s been doused in icy water. Her Bernie, her brave, amazing courageous Bernie is missing in action, and she doesn’t know if she’ll ever get to see her again. She thinks for a second that maybe it’s a dream, but she looks over to her nightstand, and there it is the letter she isn’t yet ready to open. “Serena – Open if I go missing in action”.

When she’s managed to force herself out of bed and drank two strong cups of coffee she rings Alan, asks if he will have Jason stay so she can have a couple of days to herself. Explains briefly what’s happened, admits that she isn’t coping, and that Jason needs someone who he can lean on right now and that she can’t even be that person for herself let alone Jason. If anyone was to ask her what she does over the next few days she wouldn’t be able to answer she isn’t even sure. She walks around as if she’s a zombie. Emotions going from anger to sadness to fear as if she’s on some sort of out of control merry go round that she just can’t get off. The third morning after she received the news about Bernie, she runs to the bathroom to empty the contents of her stomach into the toilet. She should probably regret drinking herself into oblivion every night but without it she just she can’t sleep.

She opens the medicine cabinet looking for some painkillers and her fingers fall upon the little survival kit Bernie had brought her after her suspension. She bursts into tears again then because how far they’ve come since that moment, her hating on Bernie for babysitting her, yet all Bernie had really been doing was looking out for her. Isn’t that always what Bernie does for her, both during the times she was here with Serena and for the past nine months while she been away. It’s now she thinks that maybe Bernie would still want that for her, even if she isn’t there to do it herself. She takes the painkillers, brushing her teeth before climbing into the shower for the first time in four days.

She gets dressed and actually eats breakfast. She cleans the kitchen and the living room, it’s slowly starting to smell like a brewery. Only once the house is back to her exacting standard does she return to her bedroom, taking Bernie’s letter gently in hand.

She decides to walk to the park, she isn’t exactly in a fit state to drive. Once she arrives, she sits on the bench, the one her and Bernie usually occupy when they come here, the trees are in full bloom, the pink blossom reminding her of Bernie’s stupid pink coat. She removes Bernie’s letter from her bag, and takes her time to trace over her name, the name that Bernie had written there nine months ago or more.

She turns the envelope over and allows herself to gently prise it open. She slips the letter out taking a deep breath before unfolding it.

My Dearest Serena,

I am so sorry you are having to read this letter. It is one of those letters I knew I had to write but never wanted you to read. I’m missing in action, something we always knew was a risk but didn’t ever voice. I don’t know how much you know, how much anyone knows about my situation and for that I’m sorry.

What I need you to know more than anything though is that I love you, undeniably and without waiver. You are the love of my life and the joy you’ve brought me the past three years is more than I ever thought I deserved.

I can’t sit here and write that I promise to come back to you I never have been able to. But what I can promise you is that if I have any say in it whatsoever, I will be doing everything in my power to get back to you. You always tell me how brave I am for having done what I have, but now it’s your turn. It’s your turn to be brave, for me, for Jason, for yourself!

I need you to keep going, I’m not saying that will be easy. But I need you to do it for me because I love you Serena so much, and all I’ve ever wanted is for you to be happy, healthy, and loved. I know you’ll be sad, that’s only natural but I need you to work towards a place where you are okay. Where you don’t blame yourself for any of this, like I know you will at least to start with. I also know Jason will need you now more than ever, and you can’t help him if you aren’t looking after yourself.

Keep my trauma unit going for me, working on AAU with you and having the trauma unit is the only thing outside being an army medic that ever felt right. I’ll never forgot how proud of me you were the day that trauma unit opened. Let it be a legacy, save those people who shouldn’t be able to be saved, be brave in ways other surgeons are too scared to be. Keep that little piece of me there with you always.

Most all Serena please never stop hoping, it’s one of the things I love about you, how hopeful you are. Don’t let anything stop that hope. I know I’ve written it already but please, please remember that I love you with every ounce of my being.

All My Love Bernie,

Your Big Macho Army Medic x

It takes her longer to read than it normally would a letter of that length. She’s not sure how many times she stops. Tears never drying on her cheeks. But she did need it. Needed to know what Bernie wrote for her and wants for her. And she is going to be brave for Jason, for herself and most importantly for Bernie.

She’s doesn’t rush, sits on the bench for a few hours, lingers, just allows her mind to settle. It’s doesn’t stop her worry, but it gives her time to organise her thoughts. Work out what she needs to do now. What she needs to do to help Jason and herself get through this limbo, and that’s what she’s decided it is an unknown limbo. She doesn’t know how long it’s going to last or when it’s going to end but she knows she got to keep battling through. Be brave just like her Bernie is.

She takes her phone out of her pocket, smiling at the picture of her and Bernie on her phone screen that hasn’t filled her with joy in this way for the past four days. Hanssen pushes back at first when she tells him she wants to come back into work in two days time. But she asks him to trust her, explains that right now this is what she needs. Bernie left the trauma unit in her and Raf’s capable hands and she’ll be damned if she isn’t going to keep it running like a well-oiled machine for her. 

Jason comes home the day in between her opening the letter and going back to work. He asks if she’s okay, and while she can’t say she is she does tell him that she needs to be strong for all of them. They spend the evening together eating fish and chips and watching Dr Who reruns. Not a single drop of Shiraz passes her lips, she’s sure she’s drank enough in the past few days to kill her liver off for a month or two. Sleep doesn’t come easily, and she has nightmares of Bernie suffering, nothing specific she can exactly recall in the morning just enough that she isn’t as well rested as she should be for having tried to get a full ten hours sleep. 

She walks onto AAU at 7am precisely, a strong hot coffee in hand. She can instantly see and feel the pitying looks. They remind her of the ones she got when her mum was ill. But she doesn’t want them. What they have here is something her and Bernie built together and she’s going to cherish that whatever the outcome of this limbo. She calls Morven into the office a little later after the ward round, when she feels every single pair of staff eyes on her at least one. 

“You, okay?” Morven questions, and Serena gets it, she was in a very different way sat in this office not even a week ago.  

“Yes, however can you please get the word out that Ms Campbell does not need all the pitying eyes and whispers. She’s here to do her job, run the department and keep Bernie’s trauma unit running like clockwork”. 

The message must get around quickly because next time she leaves the office her staff actually talk to her, ask for her opinion on their patients annoy her just a little by letting their own personal conversations at the nurses’ station go on just a little bit too long.

When the red phone rings Raf just looks at her, she nods confirming that she’ll take the lead, gets him to accompany her though. The surgery is easy enough thankfully, an emergency spleen removal that she could almost perform in her sleep. She knows she’s going to see Cameron at hand over but doesn’t expect him to turn up on the ward fifteen minutes early. She’d not sure which of them initiates the hug but it happens easily.

“Mum’s tough. She’ll be okay you know.” Cameron reassures her while they are still hugging.

“Yes, she will.” Doesn’t know if she gives her response to try and convince herself or Cameron but they both smile as they pull back from the hug.

She goes home that evening knowing she’d made a difference at work and that night she finds it just a little bit easier to fall asleep. It doesn’t stop her wondering where Bernie is and if she’s okay, but it does make it just that little bit easier. After all its thanks to Bernie that they have a trauma unit and she’s going to look after it for as long as it takes.

She keeps herself busy with the same routine, refusing to take a day off. She works long day shifts, it keeps her mind busy, means she doesn’t have the same amount of time to worry. Ric comes to see her a few days after her return. Questions whether she’s doing the right thing working, tells her maybe it would be healthier to take some time off. But she explains to him that right now this is right; she isn’t grieving because she doesn’t need to because Bernie isn’t as far as anyone knows dead. She isn’t going to act like she is. She explains to him that she’s doing exactly what Bernie would want her to do. Carry on with her days, saving patients, performing operations, all the things that come with ease. That the not having time to think isn’t a bad thing, it means she can keep her fears under control. It’s not that she doesn’t think about Bernie, doesn’t worry about her, but she tries to limit it to a healthy amount in the comfort of her own home when she wakes in the morning and when she goes to bed at night. 

The first patient she loses, during this limbo is hard. She’s been back at work three days, a week and a half since Bernie went missing. She knows right now she can’t be the one to inform the family. That really is a little too close to home. She asks Raf to do it, knows in time she’ll come to be able to do it herself, but at this point, and this point in her limbo she needs to lean on those around her too and she’ll do that for as long as her limbo lasts.

[hausofmamadas]

You’re a fucking genius. Whatever, I don’t even care anymore. I have nothing left in me.

═

✷ He’s probably dead, right? You probably left him to die. Shirt splattered with red, arm stretched across the concrete. Gun just out of reach.

Me at the end of the last fic skdjdjdjd not realizing there was a part 2, like there is no way that mf is still alive except when I remember your Lalo fic and how you tricked me into thinking that mf was totally alive for half the fic when it turns out he was fuckifnsjhrhreheb dead the whole time, it’s fine. I’m not concerned about the potential psychological warfare I’m wading into, nopenopenope

✷ The last you saw of him, he was alive. In control. Not scared in the slightest, as far as you could tell, so that’s what you’ll remember. What you’ll cement as fact. Alive, uninjured. Unrecognisable to the man you thought you knew, but not dead, at least.

GODDDDDDDDD THE FACT THAT THEYRE TRTING TO WILL HIM ALIVE LIKE LYING AWAKE IN BED AT NIGHT, LITERALLT NOTHING IS WORSE THAN WISHING THAT SOMEONE WHO’S NOT AROUND ANYMORE COULD STILL BE AROUND, LIKE NOTHINT IS MORE INDICATIVE OF GUT WRENCHING LOSS AND ITS ONLY MADE WORSE BY THE FACT THAT READER AND I DONT EVEN KNOW WTF HAPPENED TO HIM ugggghhhdhdhdhhs also honorable mention: slapping you back and forth like we’re in a novela for the “what you’ll cement as fact” bc how very fuckign dare you

✷ A lifetime of wondering, then. That’s what you’ve been cursed with.

actually PHYSICALLYYYYY clutched my chest reading this

✷ You won’t sleep all night, wondering if he’s alive, wondering if it was a mistake to try and know him, and then in the morning, you’ll dress. Open the shop. Sell string bags and sunglasses to tourists, then go home and wonder again.

Can you see how well I’m doing not copy/pasting the entire fucking fic rn??!??????? LIKE REALLY DOING SO GREAT AT IT, A+ FOR ME this is not what failure looks like but the selling string bags and sunglasses to tourists, like once again, just trying to muscle thru a loss like that, and specifically an ambiguous loss where you’re liek “am I even allowed to be upset about this? ... probably not” so you’re just sweating and cringe smiling for Jesus bc if you allow the muscles of your face to relax into any other expression, you’ll literally burst into tears and send perfect strangers fleeing for the exit to avoid the sobbing basket case who supposedly owns this store. I mean do I personally have any experience with anything like this??? Ofc course not. But can I see how, maaaayyybeeee, possiblyyyyyyyyt, a person could pooteeeeentialllyyy feel that way. 10000% 🤫 these are not falsehoods in any way whatsoever

✷ You were half a breath away from falling for him. And the whole time, he was entwined in something dangerous enough to put you at risk. Real, true harm, only a car crash away.

AREEEEEEEEEEEEYOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUFUUUUCKINGKGGJTJJRJRJRKIIIIIIIDDDINGMMMEE YOU WERE HALF A BREATH AWAY FROM FALLING FOR HIM????????!!!;!;!4!!44 LEGITIMATELY FUCKING DISGUSTED AT HOW FIRE OF A LINE THAT IS, LIKR AVTUAL GENUINE DISGUST, I ALMOST CHUCKED MY PHONE LIKE IT WAS A HOT POTATO, I AM NOT EVEN EXAGGERATING

✷ It was cowardice, really, keeping it from you for his own sake. It made him a coward. Or stupid. Head so far in the clouds, he thought you’d never see the ground.

SKSKSKSKKSS I snorted so loud at this roast bc as dreamy as Moi is, tbis is also him, to a fucking tee

✷ Prolonged, this time, because whoever’s pressing it, down on street level, isn’t relenting. They’re just holding it and holding it, and it’s echoing off the walls either side of you, so loud it’s making you cringe. Wince.

Okay, I’m there right now bc this is monstrously descriptive (cariñoso) and I have a headache already

✷ 'Cariño,’ he replies, tinny through the box. It sounds like he’s panting, hissing the words out. It could be the connection. You can’t remember how it sounded before now, how people besides him, right now, spoke through it. ‘Let me in.’

YOU CANT REMMEBER HOW IT SOUNDED BEFORE NOWWWWWJDJDIEINESBSIEJWOXOSNNW9/&2&293&4 I SWEAR TO CHRIST IMMACRUALLY GOING TO MURDER FOR THIS BC ONCE AGAIN, SUCH TANGIBLE LITTLE MOMENTS LOKE CORNERSTONES OF AMBIGUOUS LOSS, LIKE ARE YOU TRYING TO HURT ME!!!!!!!!!!:$:&3!3&3 HAVENT YKU DONE ENOUGH IN THE YEAR WEVE BEEN FRIENDS GOOD GODDAMN

✷ You’re swinging from the door before he can ask again. Leave it open, to save time when you come back. It’s late enough in the night that you don’t have to worry about neighbours, and you’re only on the first floor, only one communal stairwell away from him.

nononononononooooooononono don’t do that, don’t leave it open, like I completely get the logic but Romeo whoever is after him is probably an actual fucking psycho, dontdoitdontdoit plsplspls, god I am grinding my teeth, THE SHEER DREAD

✷ The t-shirt and gym shorts you’re wearing were never meant to leave the home, were never meant to be seen, by him of all people, riddled with moth holes and paint. It doesn’t matter. He needs you.

The funny thing about this is I actually think the domestic, regular?ness of this? Moi would be so fucking hot for sosksksks like it’s just so completely outside what he sees all the time, like taking a field trip to a place you’ve never been, and yes, in the real world, we wear big ass t shirts and boxers to sleep in

✷ The latch on door at the bottom sticks, for a moment. You rattle it free, desperate, then lug the huge timber open to get at him.

So, I’ve like never been to Spain before but I can picture exactly what this looks like and I just love the attention to detail, that you’ve like captured the different architecture that a flat in Spain would have vs like the US, or Mexico, or the UK, like where most of the other fandoms you write for take place. Bien hecho, mi comadre, lo ves bien

✷ He’s alive, standing in front of you, and alive. You can’t wait until the door’s shut again, you have to hug him, have to feel his heartbeat against your own.

YOUUUUUDHDIEHWBWNSOKSMAPWMENE HAVETOFEELHISHEARTBEATAGAINSTYOUROWN LIKE FUCKKKKKKKKKK OOOOOOFFFFFFFFFF WITH IT OKAYYY?????BBBSJSJSJE

✷ He pushes a shaky breath, taking a half-step into the entry way. ‘Please.’ His cleaner hand shifts from your collar, to sit on your shoulder for support. ‘Upstairs, cariño.’

So likeksskeksksksks when I take this sentence entirely out of context, like so, can we all just moment of silence at how actually blindingly sexy the description of his hand sliding from collarbone to shoulder is *bows head, closes eyes* ...... and amen

✷ You can only hope he’s making the right decision again, choosing you over the medical staff he so obviously needs.

SKKPPPPPDFTTTTTTTKDKDKDK IM ACTUALLTKTJFJD FUCKIGN CHOKING BC THIS JUST SMACKS SO MUCH OF “wait, come again???? So, you’re picking me over the hospital?? God fucking help you, my dude” SKSKS

✷ He’s heavier than you expected, all limp, tired muscle, that fights you with every step. If you didn’t have to, life or death, you wouldn’t manage it.

Idk what it is about the tacit self-awareness that liek were it not a life-or-death-scenario, this rock solid hunk of muscle would probably be an immovable obstacle just grounds this in so much reality a way that makes me angry bc it’s so well-written and snaps me into the urgency of the situation in a way that is actively causing a nervous system reaction despite the fact that I know none of it is real

✷ Your door is in sight, wide open and ready for you.

GODDDDDKDJDJ NOT THE DOOR WIDE OPEN, IM MUCH AFEARED

✷ There’s blood on his chin, streaking down his neck. Everything he touches is marked with it.

What is wrong with me don’t answer that, we already know it’s everything that I read this and immediately was like ................. aight, hot. KEKW

✷ There’s a hole in his stomach, staring back at you, leaking blood that’s almost black.

GODDDDSSSMJJJJJJJJJJJ SHUTT TF UPPPPPPPPOO I HATE YOU THIS IS SO FUCKINGKDJDJEJEHWBEJDHDBE VISCERAL AND TANGIBLE AND INSPIRED AND I LOVE YOU AND I HATE YOU AND I LOVE YOU AND I HATE YOUUUUUUUVSHEB

✷ He tries to smile, nodding. ‘It’s easy, okay? I’ll talk you through it.’

I can fuuuuullllyyyyyyyy fucking see this so clearly and it’s the most charming smile, to the point I want to slap it off his face bc no, despite his efforts to console Reader DIGGING A FUCKINT BULLET OUT OF SOMEONE’S ABDOMEN WITHOUT PUNCTURING A MAJOR ARTERY IS NOT ALL HAHAHAHAHA EASY, ESE MENSO ME ESTÁS BROMANDO????

✷ No matter how thorough you are, it still won’t work, you still won’t be clean enough to root about in his stomach.

See, Reader knows what’s real

✷ 'Tranquilo,’ he sighs. ‘Tenemos tiempo.’

‘Do we?’ you bark back at him, flicking water as you shut off the tap. ‘You look like you’re fucking dying, Moisés.’

ONCE AFAINSKSKSJSJDDJ READER KNOWS

✷ 'If it was going to kill me, it would have.’

You don’t have to be medically trained to know that that’s bullshit. It could have damaged him elsewhere, somewhere deeper than surface level. He could drop dead in a day, or a week, regardless of how well you manage things right now.

I love this more than anythingjsjdjdjdjdjdjejd bc it’s so me, but also like the fact that it’s making me think Reader is for some reason, super into true crime, like listens to a lot of true crime podcasts or is like an avid fan of Grey’s Anatomy of Dr. G, Medical Examiner or some shit like that sksjejejeje like the fact that they understand how deeply unqualified they are to do this jobsksksksje like in my head, they’re going, “bitch, you telling me this as if I don’t watch prestige TV, okay?!? Like I have HBO, I have seen Breaking Bad, I have seen The Sopranos.”

✷ ... wet thumb slipping from the wheel, again and again, before you finally catch the spark.

GODDDDDJDJDUEJEHEVEB ONCE AGAIN FUCKKKKKKKK OFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF THE WAY THIS IS SO PERFEXTLY DESCRIBED ACTUALLYYYYYY LOKE IM TAKING NOTES ON THE SKILL/TECHNIQUE AND ALSO PLOTTING YOUR DEMISE

✷ The knife is wobbling in his hold, because he’s shaking more than you are. Red fingers unable to grip the thing tight enough to start. It’s not going to work. He won’t be able to do it himself.

‘Damelo.’ You pluck it from him without waiting for an answer. ‘What do I do?’

THE WAY RHIS ENTIRE FUCKING THINGGGTTT HAD ME ON THE WDGE OF MY SEATTTTTTT AND THE BOOM, READER RISES TO THE OCCASION AND CUE ME JUMPING UP, FLINGING MY BUCKET OF POPCORN IN THE AIR, LIKE IF I WAS IN A SPORTSBALL STADIUM ID BE ON THE JUMBOTRON AS LIKE THAT MEGAFAN

✷ His stomach tenses beneath you, his thighs pincer around your hips—it’s all impulse, subconscious reactions that he can’t stop. The body trying to protect itself from the intruder.

First off, hot. Secondly, disgusting. What specifically is disgusting?? No, it’s not the blood or the gore, it’s the fact that this is so concrete and real and raw and vivid, and skilled and IMJUSTTTTTTTTTTTJJ BITING MY ACTUAL FIST OUT OF FEAR AND PERHAPS MINOR AROUSAL AND THEN YOU GOT CLOCK ME WITH A LEFT HOOK WOTH THAT “the body trying to protect itself from the intruder” AS IF IM NOT ALREADY UNCONSCIOUS FROM THE REPEATED BLOWS IVE BEEN DEALT READING THIS WHOLE ASS THING

✷ The end beneath the bullet. You press down without warning, because it wouldn’t have helped anyway, and force it out. Right back the way it had come.

Pfftttkdjdj the nerdy physicist in me is like fully thinking about the fluid mechanics and nodding at Reader like 😌 yes, that’s how one should go about doing that, despite the fact that it’s probably blindingly, agonizingly painful

✷ You’re beyond words now, the both of you. He doesn’t need to guide you through it. Can’t, really. And you don’t need to lie to him that it’ll only be a little longer, only be a little pinch. It’s just time to get it over with. Sew the skin together as best you can, hope the damage isn’t enough to kill him. Toes over the edge, and jump.

UGGGHHHHHHHHHHSJDJDHSJDJDJDBSJXJSJSLWOEKEMRNT TNTOROTN RMEE I DONT EVEN KNOW WHERE TO BEGIN bc in like every movie and tv show where this happens, like this is a list of all the cliches, ways characters reassure each other but it MAKES SO MUCH SENSE that actually this would be done in total silence, like Reader needs to concentrate, Moi is just shy of passing out so ofc neither of them is trying to placate the other with like words of encouragement and something about that, like eschewing all the cinematic cliches makes this feel MORE CINEMATIC TO ME???????????? To the point THAT I AVTUALLT WANT TO FUCKING FILM THE DAMN THING MYSELF I CAN SEE IT THAT CLESRYLDKDKDKDKDJENR

✷ You’d stitched the wound as best you could, but it won’t hold. It won’t do him any good in the long run.

UHHHHHHH BEG PARDON, IS HE FUCKINGKSKDJDJDJDJDNE DYINGG, HES TOTALLY DYING ISNT HE, JUST WHEN YOU LULLED ME INTO A FALSE SENSE OF SECURITY EXCEPT ITS MY OWN DAMN FAULT FOR LETTING MY GUARD DOWN AROUND A KNOWN TERRORIST

✷ His face isn’t streaked with blood anymore.

The way I read this and went “boooooo” sksksks

✷ You didn’t mind missing out on your own sleep just to watch him.

Uhhhhhhh— I mean— this is just— sisjebwhfiisnaksdnnwnwoxmssksoddkenene this is legitimately so wholesome and romantic I want to fucking throw my phone on the ground so hard, my screen shatters

✷ The room is dim still, lit with the in-between blue of night and sunrise.

OHHHHHHFUCJJJJJJJKKKKKKKKKOFFFFFFFFFFFF THE IN- BETWEEN BLUE OF NIGHT AND SUNRISE, ITS GENIUS, I HATE YOU, IM SOBBING

✷ ‘So, thank-you, for not doing that. Don’t think I could explain a dead man in my bed.’

KSKSKSKSKSK the way Reader is lowkey like “half a breath away from loving you Moi, yes. So glad you’re not dead, but I also would not be able to explain this mess if you’d died, so double thank you” very pragmatic sksks

✷ He wouldn’t have come, he means, if he thought he would die. But what would he have done instead? Crawled off into the bush like animals do, found somewhere quiet to die on his own?

UGHHHHHHHHMYWHOLEHEARTTTTTT BC ACTUALLT YES THIS IS PROBABLY EXACTLY WHAT HE’D DO, LIKE THIS MF IS AN APEX PREDATOR, HE’D COMPLETELY STALK INTO THE BUSHES TO DIE ALONE LIKE A CAT DOES AND ITD BE SO HEARTBREAKINT BC HED THINK THAT’S EXAVTLY HOW HE DESERVES TO DIE AND UGJDODIDISJDODIKSOWOSK

✷ ‘You have a lot of questions,’ he says ... Ask them.’ He’s tired, you can tell, not only from the day before, the injuries, but from the combination of it all. From the weight on his back, the cost of folding mystery over his life. He wants out. Wants the truth between you, no matter the consequence.

Literally I have no breath or thumb strength rather to scream further, like I am as tired as Moi no I’m not, I’m just dramatic sksjs but this is so fucking poignant and beautifully written and heartbreaking and I JUSTTTTTTJFJDJDJDJEHEHDH LIKE I DONT INOW WHAT TO SAY, I AM SPEECHLESS LIKE I AM FULLY WITHOUT SPEECH TO ARTICULATE THE DEPTH OF WOW THAT I FEEL READING THSI FUCKINGKDJDJDDJR PARAGRAPH

✷ 'If you want me to leave…I’ll go. You won’t see me again.’ The knee jerk reaction is to tell him that you don’t want that, that you would’t send him away ... just because of who he is. What he does. But you know that’s a self-laid trap, waiting to be stepped in. He could say anything. He could be anyone.

'Okay,’ you reply, accepting his deal. ‘Let’s start at the beginning.’

HE COULD SAY ANYTHING. HE COULD BE ANYONE. You wanna know what you’ve done to me? This.

This is what you’ve done. These are the crimes you have committed, bc this??????b. THIIISSSSSSSS??????!!!!!!!!!!!!:&:&:Bbbbbwbebejjejenr IS SOME OF YOUR BEST SHIT TO DATE, AND IM NOT FUCJINT JOKING IN THE SLIGHTEST OR BLOWING SMOKE UP YOIR ASS OR EXAGERATTING FOR EFFECT which yes .... I have been known to do THIS IS ACTUALYYYYYYYYYYYY ONE OF THE MOST FIRE ENDINFS TO ANY FIC IVE EVER READ, ITS BESUTIFUL, ITS PERFECT, ITS LINDA EVANGELISTA OKAYYYY????????? And I love you and hate you and love you and hate you for it, nunca lo olvides que has hecho en ese día, acciones terroristas, guerra psicológica, dañó permanente y duradero de la shingada pues

the other man, pt. 2

moisés (sky rojo) x gn!reader, 3406 words

warnings for blood, gunshot wounds, DIY medical treatment

for day 17 of whumpril: cry for help | self treatment | ‘i can’t do this.’

a/n: the way this poor guy has no (?) fics on here at all, and im already maiming him. my god

tagging: @cositapreciosa @drabbles-mc​

part one here

You left him there. You left him there, and it’s been hours, sun sinking beneath the horizon, warmth slipping into cold. He hasn’t rang you. Not even a text. He’s probably dead, right? You probably left him to die. Shirt splattered with red, arm stretched across the concrete. Gun just out of reach.

You groan, turning to push your face into the pillow. It doesn’t help to imagine it. Even if he’s alive, you might never see him again. What if’s won’t do anything but torment you, if there’s never any closure, no evidence of the alternative.

The last you saw of him, he was alive. In control. Not scared in the slightest, as far as you could tell, so that’s what you’ll remember. What you’ll cement as fact. Alive, uninjured. Unrecognisable to the man you thought you knew, but not dead, at least.

Go away with me, he said. He knew they were coming. He tried to get out, you with him, hand in hand, before they got there. That meant something, right? The Moisés you knew was holding out still, before the gunfire. Putting you and him in the sun.

Keep reading

[makeste]

BnHA Chapter 313: Deku VS Lady Nagant

Previously on BnHA: Hawks’s super-hot badass murder senpai Lady Nagant showed up to fire a cupid’s arrow into my heart, and a bunch of literal bullets into my son. Deku was all “oh shit it’s Hawks’s super-hot badass murder senpai, what do I do, let me think back to Hawks’s advice for a sec.” Flashback!Hawks was all “anyway Deku so if my super-hot badass murder senpai ever shows up you’re basically screwed so you’d better abscond the fuck out of there.” Present!Deku was all “lol idek why I flashed back to that conversation since I’m just going to do the exact opposite of what Hawks said” and charged directly toward Nagant because WHY NOT. Overhaul was all “waah I need to get back to my boss who I put in a coma out of love” and Nagant was all “jesus christ why did I even bring you here” and had a flashback to AFO who was all “ILU NAGANT IMMA GIVE YOU AN EXTRA QUIRK SO PLEASE CAPTURE DEKU FOR ME PLEASE AND THANKS” and yeah. Shit is all over the place right now and I love it.

Today on BnHA: All Might gets attacked by a pair of discount assassins and is all “Call an ambulance! ...BUT NOT FOR ME” and it’s really badass but also I really wish he would stop tempting fate like this. Lady Nagant is all “[casually flies around town shooting shit]” and I’d be lying if I said I wouldn’t read an entire chapter of just that. Deku is all, “[gets shot (≥_<)]” and releases a giant Smokescreen which prompts En to show up. En is all, “( •᷄⌓•᷅ ) (⌣̀ Δ⌣́) ( •̀_•́ )σ (¬､¬) (눈_눈)” which I consider to be a high point of both the chapter and of my life. The chapter ends with Deku using the Third’s quirk to launch a bunch of random objects at Nagant so that he can jump up and grab her arm all sneaky-like, and I’m sure this is going to prompt another week’s worth of discourse that I don’t care about at all, but fuck it, I’m having a good time.

OH WE’RE CUTTING BACK TO ALL MIGHT WELL THAT’S NICE I GUESS. CONGRATS ON NOT BEING DEAD

you named your car??

you named it Hercules??

I love you so much??

please marry me you giant fucking dork???

lmao speaking of huge fucking dorks

who the fuck are you clowns. la dee da we’re gonna murder All Might with our synchronized spear attack!! I mean... they’re clearly trying their best... maybe I should just be nice and politely hype them up like All Might is so clearly trying to do

like okay, but we all agree that this is actually the least intimidating attack any of us has ever seen, right?? these guys zipped up their hoodies all serious-like and are trying to attack All Might and Hercules with their Walmart tiki torches, but just, no?? right?? like the only way this could possibly be effective is if they were trying to kill All Might with secondhand embarrassment

“those are assassins” this is a VERY generous assessment, All Might

OH MY GOD THE TIKI TORCHES ACTUALLY KILLED THE FUCK OUT OF HERCULES

[slaps roof of car] this baby can fit so many weaponized festive backyard lighting solutions in it

and yet, even after watching this with my own two eyes, I still can’t take these dudes seriously. idek what it is. anyways r.i.p. Hercules, I loved you a lot but I guess you weren’t actually a very good armored car were you

omg they didn’t know it was All Might??

okay 1) for a moment there I was like “oh hey maybe they’re not so bad after all” but then a moment later it was like “ah nope, they are.” like, that was an interesting .06 second emotional journey there. anyways 2) All Might you have my permission to kick their asses for this disrespect, and 3) anyone else all of a sudden getting “wouldn’t this be an interesting time for Stain to suddenly show up” vibes?? no?? just me???

(ETA: hmm tbh I’ve still got those vibes and they haven’t gone away lol. Stain?? you out there buddy?? do you want to be cool for just once in your life. ball’s in your court pal.)

OH SNAP ALL MIGHT ARE YOU REALLY GONNA DO IT ARE YOU GONNA KICK THEIR ASSES

PROTECTIVE DAD MODE ACTIVATED?? BECAUSE YOU KNOW I’M HERE FOR THAT SHIT, SO YEAH, FEEL FREE

omg he’s shouting at them about how much Deku has suffered lmao and they’re just like falling over from being scolded

so they have absolutely no idea what he’s talking about though, right? “SIR THIS IS A WENDY’S” well whatever, you killed his pet car so he’s in a bad mood now

OH MY GOD

LIKE, JUST SO WE’RE ALL CLEAR, THESE FOUR PAGES SO FAR HAVE MADE ALMOST ZERO SENSE. LIKE MAYBE 2% SENSE TOPS. BUT ASK ME IF I CARE. GO AHEAD AND ASK. I SAID GO AHEAD, IT’S OKAY. ...NO I DON’T CARE AT ALL THANK YOU FOR ASKING

(ETA: also, the more I look at this panel, the more I’m just like, why the hell would you phrase it like that though, sob. way to doubly tempt fate?? are you trying to give Horikoshi a challenge??)

and now back to Deku who is randomly bouncing around the city and narrating it to himself just in case he was confused about why he was doing this

who are you talking to Deku. but thanks we appreciate it

man you gotta love that overconfidence. the smartest guy in the world warned you away from this lady, so SURE, LET’S RUN RIGHT UP TO HER. “I APPRECIATE YOUR INPUT, FLASHBACK!HAWKS, BUT I’LL TAKE IT FROM HERE” well okay then!!

I think it would be funny if RHA.com put little Buzzfeed-style polls in between the chapter pages so they could survey people at random intervals as they read their way through the chapter. like, you finish this page and then there’s a little poll there asking “do you think Deku’s plan of catching up to Lady Nagant and finding out where Shigaraki is will work?”, and you click “no” just like everyone else and then nod as the results show that 97% of your fellow readers also picked “no”, and you chuckle to yourself wondering how many of the 3% accidentally clicked on the wrong option by mistake, and then you keep on reading

ANYWAY, SO

HOW’S THAT PLAN WORKING OUT FOR YOU SO FAR DEKU. nice kick, though!!

omggggggg

ouch

update: Deku’s plan not really working out. sources tell me my boy has been fucking shot. this is an ongoing story and we will keep you posted with the latest developments as they come in

wait what

feel free to explain to the rest of us what all of this “UNLESS...” and “THAT POSSIBILITY...” shit means anytime, Deku

oh lol did he realize she could fly??

BREAKING NEWS UPDATE, CNN’s John King reports that Deku is still fucked. eyewitness reports now coming in that Nagant is doing no-look shots and basically not even giving a fuck. sources described her mannerisms and expression as “sexy, but in like an effortless sort of way.” we will continue to bring you the latest

so now there’s basically an entire page of Deku being all “ah fuck so she’s basically closing in and she could already hit me with impossible accuracy even from Far Away, so if that’s the case then her being Up Close is probably going to be even worse!” making good use of that Big Hero Brain there, Deku

so now what, you’re doing some kind of spiraling kick thing?? how is that going to help

oh lol he’s using Smokescreen to create some cover. aww, good for you Deku you named one of your Smokescreen attacks

OH NO LADY DON’T TELL ME AFO DIDN’T EVEN FILL YOU IN ON THE BASICS

seriously, AFO?? you basically told her what Deku’s exact strategy was going to be but then couldn’t be assed to drop that little, small, barely notable piece of knowledge that Deku is rocking multiple quirks?? is it supposed to be a secret or something?? you dropped the ball here man

damn this is getting intense now

(ETA: the way En is poking Deku’s head in that first panel is fucking sending me, I love this guy so much omg.)

well then what are you planning, Deku?? I’m actually really curious!! I am genuinely starting to be invested in this fight scene not only in the “wanting to see who wins and how that impacts the plot” sense, but also in the “wanting to see how it happens because the choreography and strategy is actually pretty cool” sense, which honestly hasn’t happened for quite a while now! this is fun

anyway so what’s up Deku, are you going to use another quirk?? I’ve been speculating that he hasn’t actually unlocked the last two yet (since Two and Three didn’t exactly seem convinced when we last saw them), but maybe I’m about to be proven wrong

(ETA: well he clearly has Three’s obviously, but Two’s is still MIA, and that’s the one I am of course the most curious about. that’s the one we’re all curious about, let’s be real.)

OH SNAP???

AHHHH I’M HYPED LOL. ANOTHER SHINY NEW QUIRK LOL SHOULD I PUT UP THE USUAL DISCOURSE DISCLAIMER

(ETA: so yeah, after thinking on it, I’m not gonna say “please no Deku discourse on my blog” this week, but I probably will ignore any discourse that does come my way though, just because I don’t have much interest in getting involved in what would probably be a pretty repetitive discussion. like, I can just sum up my opinions (which is what they are) here instead. in fact here they are lol:

1) I like the SIXQUIRKS and I like seeing Deku be a badass.

2) I also don’t think Deku is too OP. more like he’s exactly as OP as he needs to be at the moment, given that we’re approaching the end of the series. I expect the other kids will also be pretty damn OP when we see them fight again. we’re just at that point now where they’re all badasses (as well they should be; they’ve grown a lot and they deserve it). it’s just that Deku’s the one we’re getting to see right now.

3) of course I miss Kacchan and the others, but for me this vibes much closer to the MVA arc where even though I missed them, I was still having a blast (as opposed to the dark days of the Basement arc where I was pretty much losing it lol). like, even though Kacchan’s my favorite, I still love Deku a lot and this arc has been amazing for him getting to shine on his own (for like the first time, really).

4) y’all know I love the OFA plot and I’ve never been shy about that lol. I like all of the Vestiges a lot. Banjou and his over the top personality; En and his “guy you thought would be serious and :| all the time but is actually hyper-animated and ALL OVER THE PLACE” energy; Shiro who actually is a :| sort of guy lol; Three who I still expect will be fleshed out in a more detailed flashback at some point; and of course Two, who, well. you know what I think about him lol. Bakuverse is still on the table and I’m still hyped. I don’t think it’s a coincidence that we still have yet to see Two actually talk to Deku (as opposed to talking to the other Vestiges while Deku is distracted). did he lend him his power yet?? or is he still holding out?? either way it’s definitely going to be a Big Thing when it finally happens and I can’t wait to see it.

5) Lady Nagant is Everything and just because Deku grabbed her arm doesn’t mean the fight is over yet lol. Overhaul hasn’t come into play yet either. not to mention that even if the fight is over, the “where do we go from here” part still has me excited either way. her connection to Hawks and the HPSC is very intriguing and we’ve barely touched on that as of yet; she definitely has more of a role to play in this.

6) last but not least, I feel like every week the discussion is all about how much focus Deku’s getting, and how OP he is or isn’t, and OFA this and OFA that, but meanwhile I’m actually so invested in the character development here though?? the way Deku has distanced himself from everyone (except for the Vestiges, because of course they’re already dead so it’s not like they can die again lol)?? the way he’s pushing himself far too hard and we can see the shadows in and under his eyes, and the fact that he never smiles, and even All Might has remarked on how he isn’t taking care of himself at all?? the fact that he’s so single-mindedly obsessed with focused on stopping AFO?? the fact that he’s still the same sweet old Deku despite everything and was so kind to that fox lady with the umbrella, but there was also something so sad about that scene because it felt like a reminder of the type of hero that he wants to be, but that he’s not allowed to be right now?? because the stakes are too high and the world is falling apart?? and he feels like he’s the only one who can do something about it?? and that he has to be?? and that he is putting so much pressure on himself right now, and it’s absolutely too much pressure for any one person to bear, and I feel like no one is fucking talking about this lol goddammit.

anyway so yeah. I have feels about this, and every week that slow-burn angst is getting more and more intense behind the scenes, and I feel like it’s all going to hit a breaking point eventually. sooner rather than later. it really feels like a mirror of Katsuki’s post-Kamino arc. where all that angst was just churning below the surface for like twenty chapters and then it finally was like “okay it’s time” and it all came bursting out and we got the best five chapters of the fucking series (in my admittedly biased estimation lol).

basically, I know that most of fandom is billing this as either the “villain hunt” arc or the “solo Deku SIXQUIRKS fighting arc” or whatever. but for me, it’s always been and still is the Deku Angst arc lol. the cool fights are a sexy bonus (the worldbuilding less so because even though it’s interesting to see society at such a low point, it’s also very depressing and gets old pretty fast), but for me the thing that’s really keeping me engaged chapter after chapter is seeing Deku like we’ve never seen him before. seeing him all quiet and withdrawn and brooding and focused on AFO, AFO, AFO, and seeing that “he just doesn’t take himself into account” mentality taken to extremes. I am invested in that. I’m soaking up that angst each and every week, and I’m invested in seeing what comes of it. it’s a big picture thing. week to week this arc might just seem like a bunch of villain fight scenes, sure. but Deku’s emotional journey is the thread that’s going to carry this arc through from beginning to end, and for that I’m willing to be patient.

anyway that turned into a BIG OL’ RANT there but yeah! so those are my thoughts on the disk horse as it currently stands. and like I said, I’m open to discussion, but tbh I will probably just wind up repeating these same talking points endlessly so just a fair warning lol.)

anyway so Three says Deku has yet to use his quirk at ALL but now he’s trying to combine it with another quirk?? damn. also please check out En’s face here you guys

En launching a sneak attack up my favorite character list by the sheer power of his expressions alone. he really knows how to make the most of his screentime

OH DAMN DEKU

at this point the 3% from that hypothetical poll earlier are starting to feel prettttty damn smug, I’ll bet. well shit

what in the fuck

?? so like releasing his chi or whatnot?? isn’t that basically just like base OFA all over again?? also Deku did you seriously just apologize to Gran’s cape

update: Nagant has turned her eyeball into a gun

hm. hmmmmmmm. ...okay yep, still somehow sexy

anyway so she’s just floating up there building suspense, as one does. lord I sure hope she has good reflexes because something tells me she’s going to need them

OH SNAP HE THREW GRAN’S CAPE AS A DECOY WHAAAAT OKAY THAT’S SOME SMART SHIT DEKU

LOL SHE’S MAD NOW

JESUS CHRIST SHE JUST NEVER TAKES A GODDAMN BREAK FROM BEING AWESOME HUH

DEKU ARE YOU JUST THROWING EVERY DAMN THING IN YOUR INVENTORY

but without the cape and the hood how will you continue to look like an enigmatic badass. you really can’t. which means we might finally be moving on from the wandering nomad part of this arc, stay tuned

LOL YOU MANIAC

I hope he went full Kacchan with the dialogue there. his face sure looks like it lol. popped out of a building all mad fdskljlkj omg

well this was fun, shit. I still have basically no idea what Three’s quirk does though lol. like, can he use it to charge up objects with kinetic energy or something?? but then what was all of that talk about combining it with one of the other quirks?? or was that just because he was using Smokescreen at the same time??

(ETA: having seen and read an additional half-dozen explanations of Three’s quirk, I can say with confidence that I still have basically no idea what it is or does.)

anyway so!! Deku is a badasssssss but something tells me not to count Nagant out just yet even so. also I really enjoy seeing Deku flip out on people like he doesn’t have a fucking hole in his torso because it reminds me of A CERTAIN SOMEONE and I always love to see him channeling that feral energy; I feel like it’s been a while

anyways good luck to you both!! I truly wish that both of you could win. but if not, then maybe you can at least become friends instead. you have so much in common, you both can fly and have multiple quirks and you’re both badasses, and plus it would just be really funny to see the look on Hawks’s face lmao

[madamedevien]

Infernal Heat

Hey! It’s been a while - I really miss you guys.  Anyway, I know that a lot of you were keeping up to date with my Mammon x GN! Reader fic...while I’m updating it regularly on my AO3, I thought that I’d post the chapters that I’ve got here as well. I’m planning for it to be a 4 chapter fic, but let’s see how that goes! Warnings in tags (both here and AO3) - monster fucking comes into play much more come Chapter 3 and 4. The biggest thanks to @mawwart for their inspiration and @popcherrypop for reading over what I had all those months ago and actually helping me find direction. I’ve got a bigger/cheesier spiel on AO3, but anyway. Fingers crossed that the ‘Keep Reading’ line shows up here...

Chapter 1: Embers

The Great Mammon had woken up in a mood. He'd felt this creeping up for days now and he wished that it would just come and go already. It was hella distracting to have a constant tug of warmth and want in your gut, y'know? And it was annoying to feel the incessant need to primp and to add to the nest of pillows, blankets, sentimental and decorative items that now overtook most of his bed. But he was due a heat cycle. Annoyingly, he felt that it was probably going to settle in properly on that particular day and he'd been wrangled into going shopping by you. And for whatever reason he'd agreed. Not because he had a crush on you or anything. Damn, he couldn't even remember what you two were meant to be shopping for, that's how addled his mind was. Mammon really just wanted to stay put and perfect his nest. Maybe show it off to you. Although he wasn't sure if you'd appreciate the fact that he'd stolen a few items of yours while on laundry duty to tuck into said nest. Or that he wanted to maybe do something kind of nasty to a piece of your clothing. If not you. 

But would you want to? To see his nest? To lay in it, lay with him, to mate with him? He wanted you to. So very, very badly. He didn’t feel like he deserved you but, oh, to say that he wanted you was a vast understatement. Fuck. 

He groaned and threw one of his tanned arms over his eyes. The silveret realised that he was going to have to partially dislodge his beautiful nest to pull out Goldie (he couldn't go shopping without her - the very thought was offensive!) and that he was going to have to get rid of his raging boner before he faced you. 

So into a cold shower he trudged, loudly cursing the whole time.

---

Longest shopping trip in fucking history. 

It seemed like you were in need of freakin' everything imaginable. He wasn't to know that you were actually just taking your time because it'd been a while since the two of you had some time to yourselves. The demon had been acting strangely around you the past few days, although he was completely oblivious to just how weird it’d been for you.

And today, the Avatar of Greed just wasn't engaging. Questions went unanswered, as if he hadn't heard even when clearly looking at you, no boasting or sulking occurred, no bets or harebrained schemes hatched...he didn't even take you up on your offer of Hell Sauce Noodles! The demon was completely disinterested in all of this - the only thing he was interested in was you. He was also trying very very hard not to let his thoughts slip into anything inappropriate. Which was probably the single most difficult thing he’d had to do in all of his many years. Mammon wanted to take your hand and lace your fingers together; to shamelessly nuzzle your cheek in front of everyone on Silent Avenue. The thought made his heart swell. Better yet, if you were mated, he could kiss you in front of the whole crowd before publicly mounting you and-

Damn, it was hard to keep lewd thoughts at bay. He could feel his cheeks burning and looked away when your concerned expression turned to him. 

On the trek home (finally!), he fell into a lazy pace behind you and Mammon couldn’t help it as you walked together. His cerulean gaze raked over the beautiful curve in your neck - the space was perfect. In his mind, he could see how perfectly his head would fit and how the mark he could leave there would only accentuate the beauty of your skin. It’d be a gorgeous brand that would loudly proclaim to all, ‘I am mated to THE Great Mammon, the Avatar of Greed and Second of the Seven; don’t you dare even think to touch me’. The very notion only caused the flush of heat over his skin to worsen and his breath to hitch; he wanted to tear into his flesh to relieve himself of the insufferable and fiery itch.

The same thoughts washed over his brain again and again like some cruel tide, even once you'd passed through the doors of the House of Lamentation.

It took only a scant moment. He didn’t even think. The silver haired demon was aware that he was losing his mind due to his damned biology, but he didn’t realise that he was so far gone that he would do something so stupid. It was only your screech that alerted him to the fact that he had pulled you tight to his chest, that he was actually in the process of sinking sharp fangs into your supple skin. The sudden realisation made him tear off of you in surprise. 

Beel had been the first to burst through a doorway and into the corridor. The redhead stopped dead in his tracks and stared wide-eyed at the two of you; you with your hand clamped over the section of your neck that had been bitten, and Mammon an arm’s length away from with a look of abject horror painted over his handsome features. Stupid Mammon, indeed. The next to burst in was Lucifer, who looked ready for a proper melee. The sound that had come from you had genuinely startled the older brother, not that he’d admit that if asked. As his garnet gaze took in the scene before him, his mouth twisted unpleasantly. “Mammon…” Lucifer’s voice was dangerously low. Mammon shook his head urgently in response, “Nonono, Luci, it didn’t - I mean, yeah, it is what it looks like an’ I didn’t mean ta, but it...it’s not deep enough. Y’know?” The second brother sounded desperate. Mammon anxiously twisted his rings around his tanned fingers and had to fight back the tears that threatened the edges of his vision. He could have hurt you. “Oh, I think you’ll find that it’s more than deep enough.” Lucifer stalked toward you and put his hand on top of the one you were using to cover your wound. “Let me see how much damage the fool inflicted on you”. Mammon could see the frown that pulled at your mouth as you revealed the bite mark to his brother. No proper damage - the indents might linger, but no blood had been drawn; no skin had been broken. 

“It was more from the surprise than pain, Lucifer. I just wasn’t expecting someone to bite me, you know? That’s the kind of thing that I’d expect more from a very hungry Beel.” Your attempt to lighten the mood only made the Avatar of Pride’s expression sour further - but Beel muttered a small, “Fair”. Lucifer sounded positively glacial when he spoke again. “Beelzebub, please take our brother to his room." The Avatar of Gluttony nodded solemnly, gently taking the second eldest’s shoulder. Mammon stared miserably at the floor, guilt clearly written on his flushed face although he couldn’t bring himself to say anything. He didn’t trust himself to. Not after such a stupid stunt. As the other two made their way up the stairs, Lucifer pinched the bridge of his nose. 

This wouldn’t be pleasant.

--

It was no surprise to Mammon that Lucifer texted him shortly after the whole ordeal. He was just thankful that Lucifer hadn’t decided to come up to his room and literally tear into him after biting you. Of all the people to bite in the entire Devildom, it just had to be you didn’t it? Lucifer: Mammon. I have strictly instructed the household that you are not to be disturbed until I have given the all clear. You will stay in your room and I will bring you provisions at regular intervals. If you need anything, you will let me know. Are we clear? Mammon: Yes. Lucifer: Good. He waited, hopeful that Lucifer would provide an update on you. After an eon of waiting (which was actually all of seven minutes) he decided to ask. Mammon: Are they okay?

Lucifer: They are. And they will continue to be so long as you stay in your room and do not venture out. Ensure that you lock your door and remember to take your pheromone blockers as well or the whole house will reek of your mating scent. What were brothers for, if not a good motivational speech? --- Chapter 2: Flames Even with Lucifer’s reminder, Mammon had forgotten to take the pheromone blockers and to lock the door. He’d been far too distracted; worrying about your state of health, whether he’d damaged your relationship beyond repair, still trying to keep the lewd thoughts at bay, his instincts fretting over the piece of nest that had been dismantled earlier… It was a lot to be preoccupied with, okay? Without the pheromone blockers, the corridor outside of Mammon’s room was thick with the sweet perfume of a demonic male in heat. It was rich and cloying, the kind of scent that would cling to one’s clothes much to the annoyance of the other residents (Asmodeus excluded).  Mammon, however, didn’t care. He was too busy now attempting to cool the heat in the pit of his stomach and to regain some clarity of mind. An attempt at sleep had been made once his nest had been repaired and Goldie tucked into her rightful place, the lights turned down low and his clothes discarded to some far corner so that he could crawl into the nest in a comfortable state...but how could he sleep when obscene images of you kept popping into his head?  At first, he had tried to keep some semblance of his mind. The demon didn’t like to lose control during his heats. If he could keep his mind, he would keep to his more humanoid forms - and that was what he wanted. Because if you did, by chance, happen upon him...well. He didn’t want to scare you. Before he allowed himself to spiral into the anxiety of your imagined reaction, he reached for his ridiculously large bottle of lube. If he was going to dwell on the thought of anything, it was going to be how good he knew you’d feel… --- Mammon wouldn’t have been able to say how much time had passed. He had brought himself to orgasm more times than he could count - but it only seemed to just take off the edge. A demon’s heat was never an easy thing, but why was this time around so damn difficult?  Satan would have been able to answer that with ease, the smug bastard; if a demon chooses a mate they will, naturally, be most inclined to couple with said mate for optimal breeding. To not couple with a chosen mate could make a heat worse - but to withhold coupling at all? Well, it would be a foolish endeavour.  The Avatar of Greed hadn’t realised just how he was slipping ; wings and horns had appeared without him even registering and his fangs had dropped to a predatory length (which he only noticed when he had apparently attempted to put a mating mark on a pillow covered in one of your stolen shirts that he’d been desperately rutting against, much to his embarrassment).  His breathing was rough. Mammon was equal parts exhausted and invigorated. He wanted nothing more than to let his knees fall out from under him so that sleep would hopefully take him - he wanted to stalk down the hall and into your room and fuck you senseless. And if Lucifer found out? Well, Mammon would love to see him try to pry you from his arms.  The very thought made him snarl, his grip on his cock tightening. It was enraging to even think that his brother would dare, a thought that had him so preoccupied that he didn’t hear the door click open.  His blue eyes slipped over to you and the wet sound of him furiously fucking his fist stopped abruptly. It was impossible to tell which one of you was redder. This was not what he had been expecting. “Uh-” A rasp of your name interrupted you. “Didn’t Lucifer tell you not to come?” He watched as you nodded dumbly, “Yes”. Heavy breath was the only noise to pass between you several beats. The demon in front of you was wondering whether this was fate; you weren’t running, you looked interested and, fuck, you smelled so good. You smelled aroused and it made him growl; “C’mere then”. The way that you slammed the door and scampered toward him practically had him preening in pleasure. Just as eager, Mammon scrambled over to meet you, flustered yet excited, and hauled you up close to him. He bumped your foreheads together. From here it was easy to see how incredibly blown his pupils were, to feel how desperately ragged his breathing was. You were dangerously close. “Now, see here, I'm gonna give ya one chance to go. ‘Cause if I kiss ya, I’m not gonna be able to stop. I won’t be able to let ya go. You’ll be stuck with me for the whole fuckin’ ride, ya hear?” Holy shit, his voice was so strained. “Then kiss me, you dummy.” No repeat was necessary. Mammon threaded his fingers into your hair, hesitating for only the briefest moment before pressing his lips to yours. When you responded in kind his fervour, his deep rooted greed, quickly followed. He’d wanted to kiss you from day one and not a moment had gone by since  without him imagining it. This felt so incredibly right. But he couldn’t ignore the heat curling in his gut. He needed you, wanted you. And as far as he could tell, despite the dark whispers in the back of his mind saying otherwise, you seemed to feel the same.The way that you returned his greedy kisses, how your fingers had twisted sharply in his hair, how you didn’t seem to mind the messy clicking of his elongated fangs against your blunt teeth as he tried to figure out how best to navigate your mouth in this form - how could he deny that he was wanted?  Mammon's only regret when looking back on this evening with you would be not savouring your body laid bare for him for the first time. His mind was too heat-addled to appreciate it; he was unable to slowly peel off your layers and to have the sentiment returned in kind as he had previously fantasised about. In his mind’s eye, he had a whole big romantic gesture planned if you had decided to sleep with him. Previously, he had imagined how he would make love to you and treasure every moment of it...but alas… Your clothes were quickly stripped from you, sharp fangs nipping at new skin as it was exposed. There was no delicate treatment here and he paid no heed to the sound of torn material. When he next plundered your mouth, it was far smoother than the first time - he was a fast learner, after all.  The only complaint that he had about kissing you was that it muffled those beautiful noises of yours. When he broke the seal of your mouths it was to gently toss you back toward the top of the bed, deeper into his nest and into the comfort of a ridiculous amount of pillows - to properly secure you into his nest. To see you like that felt...good. It felt right. It was clear that was exactly where you belonged. The very image had him growling in satisfaction as he took the opportunity to crawl over your body, his fingers gripping at the meat of your thighs and hips as if ensuring that you were truly there with him. Thankfully, his nails had not yet turned into talons or they would have pierced through you with ease at the way that he handled your flesh.  Mammon had to take a deep breath when he looked at you this time. He needed to make sure that he didn’t hurt you while doing this - it was the last thing in the world that he wanted. It was unusual for the Avatar of Greed to put the needs of others before his own...but you weren’t just some ‘other’. You were you. His very own treasure, his very own mate. Reluctantly, a hand left your body to fish for something buried within the nest. “You’re fuckin’ gorgeous,” He coated his fingers generously in lube, desperate to ensure that he would cause as little pain as possible, “Just fuckin’ perfect”. Two fingers slipped into you as Mammon spoke, his tone low and hoarse. Never had he imagined just how difficult it would be to hold himself back like this, nor could he have been prepared for just how much desire he felt in that moment. The sensation of your hot core wrapped around his fingers had him shamelessly rutting against your thigh, a poor attempt at taking the edge off of his lust.  A human really had no business wrecking him like this. His heat cycles were normally pretty boring - desperate rutting for a day or two and then back to normal life. You had no right to set his skin aflame like this, no right to have him feel like he could cum just from the noise you made once he had three fingers fucking into your heat. The way his blood was rushing in his ears was deafening...and he wanted more. It didn’t take too long for it all to get too much. Even all of the dark hickies that he had furiously littered your neck, chest and shoulders with weren’t enough to distract him from the wet sound of his fingers preparing you or the stunning sounds he managed to pull from you when he got the angle of his hand just right.  Mammon would never admit it, but he kind of missed his target. The point of removing his hand from you had been to slip himself right in. Instead, as he kissed you he rolled his slick cock against your sex...which, to be fair, had felt better than your thigh. And if the sound that you’d made in response was anything to go by, you thought so too.  He liked that noise. A lot. So he rolled his hips against you again, groaning in response to you. Ever eager to please, the greedy demon found a rhythm that you both seemed to enjoy in the interim. “Ya like that, huh?” Mammon wasn’t sure where the cockiness in his tone was coming from when internally he felt so nervous. It was those very nerves that quickly had his hand moving to guide his cock to your entrance and thrusting into you before you could retort. Mammon didn’t realise it would silence both of you.  By no means was he a virgin. The Great Mammon would have it known that he was a proper Casanova type, thank you very much. He just didn’t realise how different it would feel coupling with someone that he truly and deeply loved. The heat causing that deep need to breed the closest thing with a pulse didn’t help things, of course.  It was...incredible, for lack of a better word. Divine. Mammon choked on an Infernal curse once seated completely in you and had to literally bite his tongue to keep an anchor on his self-control.  All of that hard earned control was thrown out the window when his name passed your lips.  There was no hesitation in how his hips pistoned, fucking into you relentlessly. His hands manoeuvred to cradle the back of your knees and he pushed your legs back to allow him more access to your body, his fingers gripping hard enough to bruise. The noises that left him were snaps and snarls of Infernal praise, not that he realised. The only thought on Mammon’s mind was his primal objective of breeding you until neither of you could move ; it didn’t matter whether you could actually fall pregnant or not. No logic or worry clouded his mind with these thoughts. All he could focus on was filling you with his seed until he couldn’t any more, the thought of your stomach tender and round because of his affections toward his mate... Mammon’s first orgasm came with an embarrassing quickness. When he spilled inside of you, his teeth sinking into the tender flesh of your chest, he was quickly filled with a relief and warmth that he hadn’t felt in ages. For the first time since his heat had set in, there was true clarity in his mind. While his natural instincts weren’t completely quelled, it was enough for him to actually think with something other than his adamantly pulsing dick. His relief quickly fell to mortification, the shadows of which were clear on his features when he pulled back to look at you. His cheeks were tinted red both from exertion and embarrassment ; he hadn’t paid enough attention to get you to climax. He was quick to stutter out your name, mouth tripping on the words that were trying to get out of his mouth as his sluggishly content brain tried to supply words just beyond reach. “What, isn’t The Great Mammon going to make me cum?” Your sass fanned the flames in his loins. A playful snarl was made in response, “Oh sweetheart. I’m going to make you cum so fuckin’ hard you black out. You won’t be able to feel your legs by the time I’m done with you”. And so The Great Mammon set to work. --- Mammon hummed contentedly as you lazily played with the hair at the nape of his neck hours later. This was perfection. Strong fingers stroked your thighs as he enjoyed the sensation of you wrapped around his hips, the pleasure of you sat on his lap while cuddled up together in your nest. The demon toyed with the thought of pushing his hips up just to make you gasp from the overstimulation, but decided against it. Although he was loath to admit it, you needed rest - because Mammon had been good to his word, ensuring that you both had more than your fair share of orgasms.  But this was good. The fire in his gut had died down to crackling embers, although he knew it would flare up again soon - but you would be there to help ease him through it. And you even seemed to like helping him out. What was the phrase… ‘mutually beneficial’? Somethin’ like that. His eyes fluttered open when he heard your chuckle. He couldn’t help but wonder if you knew how freakin’ stunning you were when you smiled like that. “What?” When your eyes met his, he was pouting frowning. The laugh that you let out only made his brow furrow more, “I said what. What’s got ya laughin’ like that, huh? You should be out like a freakin’ light by now”. It wasn’t until you replied that he realised how obvious it was, “I didn’t know that demons could purr”. Mammon squawked loudly and attempted to divert your attention - he sounded like a damn motor! It wasn’t fair! He wasn’t even able to control the way he was going off… It was embarrassing. “Well, yeah, y’know, sometimes. We’re incredible ‘n mysterious creatures us demons, y’know! Demons are capable of things that your human mind couldn’t even comprehend! Anyway, ’s not like ’s all the time or anythin’ like that…” He tried to occupy himself and forget about the heat radiating from his face by playing with your hair - but he could feel you smiling against the crook of his neck. “Yeah?” “Yeah.” The incredible and mysterious demon sounded more like a petulant child (well, a purring and petulant child). “So, when do you normally purr?” “I dunno. When we’re happy, I guess?” “Does that mean I haven’t made you happy before?” The way that he spluttered was definitely worth teasing him. “Who said that ya haven’t made me happy?! ‘N besides, this is different!” Even Mammon couldn’t deny that he was now pouting, but he tried to focus on the feeling of your fingers running along his shoulders. It was nice; soothing, even. Until he felt a sharp tug on the back of his neck.  “Ouch! You gotta be more gentle than that!” The look of surprise on your face made him want to curl in on himself. “Mammon - are those feathers?” “Phffft,” The greedy demon rolled his eyes and tried to deflect your query, “Shaddap. You dunno what you’re talking ‘bout”.  When your mouth opened again, he did take the opportunity to thrust sharply into you. At the gasp, he lurched forward with a passionate kiss. Simply to shut you up, of course. No hidden agenda. His pleased purring melted into a deep rumbling, the fire in his belly stoking itself back to life. It was impossible for him not to roll you over to allow him to bask in more of your shared passion. The laughter that ensued, laughter that he was sure was aimed at him, only made his heart swell as much as his cock.

[reidyoulikeabook]

Sometimes You Just Don’t Know the Answer

4 times you don’t know the answer, and the 1 time you do

This is the 2nd part to Personal Google! (You don’t have to read it to understand this, but it exists if you want to).

Ship: BAU!reader x Spencer Reid

Summary: You’d call yourself a pretty educated individual, and most people wouldn’t argue with that, given that you’re a member of the BAU at Quantico. There’s just something about your best friend Spencer Reid that gets you all tongue tied.

Warnings: Mentions of cases and case-typical violence, mentions of alcohol, Spencer and Reader being idiots again.

Word count: 3k

A/N: The feedback (in asks and the tag reblogs) for Personal Google was so lovely and encouraging and I am very grateful for it! I only made this account a few days ago and I’m already so glad I did :) I hope this is a satisfactory second part and, requests are open!

(This is the Reid I’m imagining here)

“What is up with you and Reid?” Emily’s volume is unmoderated at the best of times but right now it’s like she’s trying to alert the entirety of Virginia to your dating woes.

Dating woes might be a stretch, actually. Somehow, just her implication that something is happening between you and Spencer (even though it isn’t, unless you count two exhausted idiots falling asleep on each other and being too bashful to ever mention it again), is enough to get you feeling uncharacteristically shy.

“Nothing,” you shrug, “Well. I don’t know, honestly, nothing I guess? We haven’t spoken about that night.”

Emily’s eyes rake over you, and you can tell she’s waiting for you to continue.

“There’s nothing!” you object, “We just, it was accidental, we fell asleep because we were watching a documentary and we were tired and neither of us fell asleep on purpose.”

She laughs, dry and amused, “At this rate, you’ll be lucky to have sorted things out before you’re 50.”

You scowl, but it’s only because you know she’s right.

***

You don’t have much time to think about your situation with Spencer for a few weeks, considering the rate at which the cases come rolling in. This newest one arrives within about two days of the last one you’d just wrapped up. It’s actually kind of rude, you’ve decided, that the serial killers of America have decided to deny you two weekends in a row.

You’re briefed on the case quickly: four women have gone missing over the past 7 months from a small town in Ohio. There’s no distinct pattern that can be discerned among the victims, the oldest is 60 and white, the youngest is 23 and Asian-American. However, the first three have been found dead in the past two weeks, all within a mile of each other and all killed with the same MO: ligature strangulation.

“So we have no idea how he’s choosing them,” you say.

“No,” Hotch replies, with a sigh.

Meaning that this is probably going to take a while. Spencer senses the way you tense up a little as you absorb that fact. So he goes out of his way to sit next to you on the plane. Once the discussion about the case is done, he nudges you gently, “Did you bring a book?”

You shake your head, “I finished the one in my go-bag. Didn’t have a chance to replace it.”

“Would you like to read this with me?”

You place your hand on his wrist, gently turning it so you can see the cover, “Spencer this is written in Greek.”

“I can translate,” he says.

You move closer to him then, your head resting just against his plane seat and your chin almost jutting against his shoulder.

“Is this okay?”

He nods. The remaining 45 minutes of the flight are spent with him reading to you softly, adding in his own thoughts as he translates and sometimes going off on little tangents. By the time you land you’ve entirely forgotten about your ire with the case. You’re focused only on the characters he introduces you to, who are clearly in love even if they’re too stupid to see it, and the way his nose crinkles a little when he reaches a word with no direct English translation.

Whhat you don’t realise, is that you end up folding into him: head pressed against his chest. Somehow, neither of you notice how you naturally gravitate towards each other. Some pair of profilers.

--

Hotch sends you in different cars to the precinct, and you’re soon reminded of your frustration as you’re caught up in the hub-a-bub of the case. It’s not until you’re leaving the station, after a long and relatively fruitless briefing with the medical examiners and local PD, that you even have time to acknowledge Spencer properly again.

And even then, it’s only when Hotch says.

"You'll be sharing a room with Reid, alright?"

He’s only really asking as a formality. Nobody questions Hotch’s assignments for them. So why, then, do you feel yourself flush a little.

Why then, do you feel so embarassed replying, “Alright.”

***

There was nothing much to be nervous about with sharing a room, as it so happened. The past day and a half had been a whirlwind since the unsub had snatched a fifth victim. You’d been sleeping in shifts, making sure that some of you were awake at all times to keep working.

You were working on the geographical profile with Spencer, and had taken to driving around to look for landmarks at night, when there was nothing much else to do. There were maps but sometimes it helped just to get things embedded in your brain. And now, at 4am, you’re bursting into the conference room occupied by Spencer and Rossi, because you might just have got something.

"I have an idea,” you say, and before anybody can even respond you’re scribbling hurriedly on the whiteboard.

“Slow down kiddo,” Rossi laughs.

“Sorry I’m just,” you cut yourself off, slightly flustered and tapping your foot with frustration as you try to put the last pieces of it together, “Diana Matthews.”

“Yeah?” Spencer responds.

“She was the one who lived on Lakefield right?” Rossi asks.

Annoyingly, you can’t remember off rote. Spencer sees the pinch of frustration in your brow. He senses that you’re heading for the case file.

So, he answers, “Yeah 38 Lakefield Drive.”

Smiling gratefully at him, you breathe a sigh of relief, “There’s three different stores in the area for this local electronic repair company, Gladston Digital, in this area. Two of them aren’t accounted for on the maps because these are from last year, and one of the ones on Google is pinned to the wrong street, there are two Minister Avenues and one’s on the complete opposite side of town.”

Denoting the map with annotations as you go, you continue, “All of the victims had residences within a mile of one of the three stores. And we interviewed the area manager, Paul something, he manages all three stores. He came to speak to me and Hotch while we were scoping the area.”

“Inserting himself into the investigation,” Rossi notes, “Fits the profile. A stalker like that would want to remain an illusion of control.”

“I just need to get Garcia on the phone to see if it checks out.”

Spencer just watches, slightly in awe, as you make the phone call to Garcia. She manages to cross-reference bank statements and emails, showing that all five of the victims had taken something of theirs in for repair sometime in the year before their disappearance. And he feels something in his gut. Pride? Maybe. That’s certainly a part of it.

But there’s something else in there too. Your eyes meet his, with a flicker of recognition. He realises what it is then: marvel. Your brain works so fast, and that’s not novel to him, he knows you’re intelligent but there’s just something about how fast you manage to put it all together. You conjure something out of nothing, a link that he’d missed. And he’s reminded, again, that he has to try and keep up with you sometimes. He wonders if you know that.

Probably not, he thinks. You’re rambling down the phone and gesturing with your hands, in a way you may or may not have picked up from him, and all he can think is how you look so in your element. And beautiful.

He’s a little embarassed about how normal it feels for that last observation to pop into his head.

***

“To _____!” Prentiss cheers.

8pm has rolled around. Since your revelation 16 hours earlier, you managed to confirm your thinking, apprehend Paul Bader, and save the fifth victim. All in all, a pretty good days work. It’s not just down to you, but everyone’s singing your praises so loudly it’s making you a little embarassed.

Even Hotch sets a drink down in front of you, squeezing your shoulder, “Really good work today ____.”

Fair to say you’ve probably peaked there.

Spencer is sat to your left, sipping at a Mai Tai that you know is going to have him giggly in about an hours time.

“I wasn’t trying to keep you out before,” you tell him, “I was going to come and wake you up when I got back but you were in the conference room.”

He smiles, “I know. It was my shift to sleep.”

“Bet you’re paying for that now.”

“A little,” he chuckles, “It’s worth it.”

"I just didn’t want you to think I was hanging you out to dry. You know, to make myself look good,” you decide to press further: mostly just because the team has sung your praises and that kind of attention makes you shirk at the best of times. Let alone when you’re sat with the guy responsible for creating half the damn profile.

His eyebrows furrow. You worry for a minute about what he’s going to say, but then, “I would never think that about you. We’re a team.”

He squeezes your hand. Maybe that’s your favourite thing about Spencer, really. More than the fact he remembers to get your caffeine just how you like it, more than how gentle he is with just about everybody he encounters, more than his relentless enthusiasm for your questions about whatever pops into your mind. No, it’s his modesty. The way he doesn’t even think for a moment to be prideful or arrogant about his intelligence. He genuinely roots for you in every moment, you think.

“Are you okay?” he asks, “You seem a little..quiet.”

It wasn’t until he mentioned it that you realise you’d let your thoughts run away with you, “No. I’m good. Just thinking about how good of a teacher you are.”

“You think so?”

“Of course I think so. You’ve taught me. I didn’t know the first thing about geographical profiling when I got here two years ago. I could barely read a map,” you laugh, keeping your tone sincere, “You’re a really good teacher Spence. I feel like I learn so much from just being around you.”

“I often don’t give you much choice.”

You smile, “I wouldn’t want you to. Really. I’m always interested in everything you have to say. I think you know that. But I wanted to tell you anyway. So you’re sure.”

He’s incredibly grateful you get pulled into a conversation by Morgan, giving him a moment to process.

A lifetime of being insecure. Of feeling like nobody was interested in what he had to say but not being able to really control whether he said it anyway. All this time being insecure in himself, and you liked it. Complimented him on it, even. Considered him a teacher. He doesn’t think he could articulate, in any of the languages he speaks, the sense of peace that brings him.

-----

The Mai Tai’s do make him sleepy. Buzzed, but sleepy. After being bought rounds by Hotch, Morgan, and Spencer, you’re feeling exactly the same. It’s only 10:30pm by the time you decide to make your departure for the night. This is much to the chagrin of Emily, who lolls against Rossi’s side demanding that you stay.

“Some of us have been up since 4 this morning, breaking their backs to keep this country safe,” You tease, putting on a melodramatic air just for affect, “Besides, you’re going to regret this when you have to be up and back on the jet in the morning.”

“You will, especially since you still owe me that report,” Hotch teases, with a smile.

Emily rolls her eyes, “You two are no fun.”

She’s joking, goading you, but unfortunately for her you have a sleepy Spencer nuzzling against you which is a far more pressing matter to deal with.

“Come on Spence, let’s get you to bed,” You say, gently wiggling out from under him and offering him your hand.

He pouts at the momentary loss of contact. It’s subtle. You catch it though. He links his fingers through your own, holding your hand properly, and you try not to read into it too much. He’s tipsy. He’s tired.

Ignoring the deliberately obvious eyebrow-wiggling from Morgan, you make for the lift.

“You didn’t have to come to bed just for me,” Spencer says, “I feel bad for taking you away from the others. I’m not that drunk, I could get myself to bed.”

You shake your head, “I wanted to go to bed with you.”

His eyes snap to you, a grin playing on his lips.

“I mean, I wanted to go to bed. And we’re sharing a room. So I’m going to bed with you. As in we’re going to the place where bed is, together.”

He’s just enough tipsy to be confident enough to jest, “Sure.”

You roll your eyes, “You sound like Morgan.”

“What did Morgan say?”

“Don’t act like you don’t know exactly what Morgan always says whenever anybody goes off together.”

“That they’re having sex,” He giggles, tipsiness shining through again.

“Yes, Spence, that they’re having sex.”

“But we’re not.”

The elevator dings as you arrive at your floor, saving your brain from delving into the implications of what he’s just said. And whether that was a disappointed or netural tone.

He hasn’t let go of your hand. He walks to the door with you, still keeping your hand in his. It’s hard not to let yourself read into it now. How holding hands with him could be such a casual thing. Hard not to imagine walking through bookshops with him, one hand in yours and the other picking books off the shelf he thought you’d like. The domesticity of it sickens you.

Then he lets go to cross to the bed.

“Aren’t you gonna put your pyjama’s on?” You ask.

“I wasn’t gonna sleep yet,” he says, “I was gonna...”

He looks bashful, suddenly, self-consciously licking his lower lip, “I was gonna ask if maybe you wanted to watch something with me. You can pick. I always pick.”

“This an excuse to get me in bed with you again, Spence?” You tease, just past tipsy enough not to care that this is the first time you’ve even acknowledged that night.

"Yeah, the Pearl Harbour ruse doesn’t work twice,” he jokes.

You wish you could find the courage to tease him more. Unfortunately, the liquid courage seems to have run out, and the topic somehow feels too delicate to touch.. Instead, you change quickly into your pyjama’s. Together, you pick something to watch, settling down. You’re suddenly thankful for the single bed, the necessity to be cozied up against him as you watch. To feel his chest, every beat of his heart. You swear it’s beating fast. Or maybe that’s just wishful thinking.

***

Just like last time, you wake up huddled against Spencer. Unlike last time, there’s no Emily banging the door down to drag you to the police station. No, it’s quiet.

You can’t see what time it is because there’s a Spencer between you and the clock. Your phone is in your back pocket but it’s hard to find any motivation whatsoever to move when you’re like this: face pressed into his chest, his head resting atop of yours so a single curl of his hair tickles your nose, his hand on your hip holding you against him.  

His eyelashes flutter, “Are you awake?”

“Yeah. I just woke up.”

He smiles, “Me too.”

“Looks like we did it again.”

“Looks like we did,” his voice is quiet.

“Do you want me to move? If I’m...I don’t want to make you uncomfortable.”

His free hand comes up to your chin, tipping it so you’re looking him directly in the eyes. His pupils are dilated. In the dim light it’s hard to place the look on his face exactly. But it’s soft.

"C-Can I kiss you?” the question spills quickly from his lips, like he’s afraid he’ll change his mind if he doesn’t get it out fast, “I just. I don’t know if that’s what you want too, I’ve just really-”

"Kiss me, Spence. Please kiss me.”

The smile on his face would have made you fall in love with him, if you weren’t already. And then he kisses you. Barely. Your lips are just grazing against one anothers. You tilt yourself upwards, towards him, giving him a better angle. Then he really kisses you, capturing your lips in his. It’s sweet, it’s soft, it’s...it’s everything. It’s everything, how his hands tangle themselves tentatively in your hair, how he kisses you so deeply, drinking you in.

His hand cups your cheek, then he’s pulling back, just a tiny bit, to mumble against your lips, “I’ve wanted to do this for so long.”

The only appropriate way you can think to verbalise your agreement, is closing the gap between your lips again. There’s an urgency to it this time. Your lips move quickly, passionately. He swipes his tongue across your lower lip and you let him in, your tongues delicately dancing together. He’s good. He’s good and you don’t even notice the morning breath or faint taste of rum, it’s just Spencer.

When you finally come apart, you’re out of breath.

“I didn’t think you’d ever do that,” you say, “I was worried I was reading this whole thing wrong.”

He frowns then, that little nose crinkle appearing again, “I thought I was too obvious.”

“So did I. Maybe it’s best if we don’t tell Hotch how bad we are at profiling each other. He might rethink his decision to take us on.”

He laughs, “Not being able to profile when somebody’s in love with you might be a cause for concern. There are several obvious phyical signs of love, including dilation of pupils when looking at the object of your affection, heart rate synchronisation.”

“How am I supposed to know if our heart rates have synchronised?”

He smiles. Pressing a finger to your lips, he dips his head in the small chasm between your two chests. In the silence, in the early morning quiet, in the absence of all distraction you can hear it. The steady thrum of your hearts, pounding away at identical paces. The sound that told you that some part of you had always known.

--------------

Tagslist: @takeyourleap-of-faith​​ @sassiest-politician​​ (let me know if you’d like to be added/removed from this list)

[mothgardens]

tysm for the tag blue <3

1. do you make your bed?

commonly in the mornings i will attempt to atleast neaten my bed so i dont have a mess to come home to after school, but i dont make it pretty and pristine.

2. what’s ur favorite number

okay :) so I have ocd, mostly concerning correct placement and numeric symmetry, which means i have safety numbers !! 3, 5, 8, and 11 are my go to’s but 3 is my favorite (which seems to be common lol)

3. what is ur job

none currently but im seeking a job in table waiting or anything in a library setting

4. if u could go back to school, would u?

still in my 11th/junior year currently so i’m not gonna have a real answer for this, but i’m thinking i will say no. sure i will sentimental about the time of my life and the memories made but tbh i dislike 90% of the people bc they say so many slurs it’s baffling and in general they’re crummy.

5. can u parallel park

yes !! proud to say i taught myself via an incredibly awkward youtube tutorial, and i am actually quite good at it, i haven’t hit a curb in ages :)

6. a job u had that would surprise people?

none </3 ive yet to work in this wee little life

7. do u think aliens are real?

in short, yes, but i don’t believe in ever contacting aliens. i believe that we aren’t alone in the universe, it is too vast and there is so much to be discovered, no way are we the only living things. i can’t imagine that we are that alone.

8. can you drive a manual car?

no </3 i am the least informed person about cars, im a good ass driver but if anything goes wrong im fucked.

9. what’s ur guilty pleasure?

certain music genres and musicians like Flo Milli and ppcocaine. i don’t like the music per say but the beats are so GOOD— please.

10. tattoos?

none, but i want to get a small shoulder one I think, like a flower or bird or something. maybe a seagull bc they were my grandma’s favorite. i want sentiment.

11. favorite color?

green !! like a jade or olive tone. but also lavender and periwinkle <3

12. favorite type of music?

EEE- im a music fiend, i lovelove 60s-80s music, but i also love bands like Car Seat Headrest and The Front Bottoms, but also Taylor Swift (music, not her) Lana Del Ray, Girl In Red, Mitski (saw her live !!), Hozier— i could keep going on for ages.

13. do u like puzzles?

i am a problem solving whore so yes, but I never do any puzzle related activities nearly enough

14. any phobias?

i have emetophobia (fear of vomiting) and a genuine case of arachnophobia (fear of spiders). like i dont just find them icky, infact i think they’re cute, but god for id one comes near me or i think about them or anything.

15. favorite childhood sport?

ultimate frisbee <3 i used to be a badass during gym when my teacher would whip the discs out

16. do u talk to urself?

constantly and consistently; i’m either mouthing my thoughts, making reactive faces which make me look insane, mumbling, or full on chit chatting myself up

17. what movies do u adore?

OKAY— highly recommend all of these btw: Super Dark Times (2017), everyone should watch Everything Everywhere All At Once (2022) at least once in their lives, Perks Of Being A Wallflower (2012), Kill Your Darlings (2013), Do Revenge (2020), Dead Poets Society (1989), and Catch Me If You Can (2002)

18. coffee or tea?

both, but they have to be iced.

19. first thing you wanted to be when growing up?

an author !! i remember in like 3rd grade i would carry around a clip board and write stories and i would tell my teacher about it and everything.

—————

this was my 3rd attempt doing this lol, i kept forgetting to save my answers *thrumbs DOWN* but it’s done now and it was so fun <3

no pressure tags: @trx34ksh @thanatos-dahilias @serendipity0930

I was tagged by @hollyspn

I'll tag @beanmom @babyblue-mind @torturedpoetdean

Do you make your bed?

nopeee (living that Disabled Life TM where i'm in it more than out, so no need to bother lol)

What’s your favourite number?

3!

What is your job?

I'm an online essay writing tutor! (hit me up if you need help with anything writing related!)

If you could go back to school, would you?

I would LOVE to get like an MFA in creative writing, or just take art classes at a community college (but can't be 1. disabled & 2. broke af)

Can you parallel park?

technically? I did in the past (not well, but did it) but that was like...10 years ago lol and I am Not Able To Drive now due, again, to the fkn disabilities

A job you had that would surprise people?

not really a job, and idk if it is surprising? but I helped take care of my granny for a long while after her brain surgery

Do you think aliens are real?

yes!

Can you drive a manual car?

nopee

What's your guilty pleasure?

...destiel :D

Tattoos?

none :( but I want soooo many

Favourite colour?

yellow!

Favourite type of music?

folk punk, and whatever florence and the machine is classified as

Do you like puzzles?

sometimes

Any phobias?

SPIDERS (and really any bugs), heights, the ocean, snakes

Favourite childhood sport?

i do not like sports ball

Do you talk to yourself?

allllllll the time

What movies do you adore?

but i'm a cheerleader (it was my lesbian awakening lol), four weddings and a funeral, steel magnolias

Coffee or tea?

suuuper sweet tea (i'm from texas what do you expect)

First thing you wanted to be growing up?

I think the first thing was an artist? but I'm not sure. I had a lot of things I thought of doing, including but not limited to: baker, photographer, author (doing it!), teacher (also doing it!), and garbage man (???) (this was because I thought how they got to ride hanging off the back of the truck looked fun lol)

[tarosin]

the great adventures of y/n tubbo jack niki and wilbur - racing across the sea

requested: yes/no

part 8 of the great adventures series

warning: cursing, anxiety about the sea

ever since the argument you and tubbo had become inseparable, he practically lived with you and your parents at this point, and your community was loving it. everytime one of you would stream, tens of thousands of people would tune into your stream to see what madness was going on and today was no different. the pair of you decided to stream a laugh and the stream ends challenge. safe to say you ended up changing the rules several times, you even made ranboo join the stream so you could have extra lives. not long after the stream ended you, ranboo, and tubbo practically dominated the twitter trending page. today however was tubbos last day at yours and shortly after you ended stream, the pair of you headed out to the train station so you could make sure your best friend made it onto the train safely. after you said your goodbyes, you decided to facetime jack on your way home to discuss vlog ideas, and just to talk to him, as you had been rather busy this past week going over plans with ranboo, tubbo, and all of your parents about the uk trip that was happening pretty soon.

a few days later, it was finally time to go film the vlog. you couldn’t exactly lie, you weren’t exactly looking forward to this, as you were told it had something to do with the sea and boats which oddly enough didn’t mix very well with your fear of the deep sea. you had no idea what’s down there and you didn’t want to find out, but hey at least you’d be with tubbo.

your parents offered to drive you there so you didnt have any additional stress from having to get a train then a taxi, this allowed you to have a pretty quiet journey to meet up with your friends. you sat in the back of the car on facetime with tommy who was the only one who knew about your fear and was rather confused as the why you would agree to do such a thing

“i’ll never understand what goes through your mind, you’ve got this though! you’re going to be completely okay, plus you never know it might help you get over your fear, you did tell me you had been working on getting over it.”

“I suppose you’re right, it can’t be too bad. I mean I love the sea. I just don’t like what’s deep down, you feel me?”

“i understand mate, but you need to remember jack wouldn’t put you in danger. as much as he acts like he would, and even if you do fall off the boat or some how end up in the water, you won’t automatically end up at the bottom of the sea. just try to enjoy yourself, yeah?”

“...yeah”

“call me when you get home you can tell me all about what happened, afterwards we can record a minecraft mod video.”

“of course, boss man.”

“you hang out with tubbo too much, you should hang out with me a lot more.”

the car pulled into the car park and within a minute of the car stopping tubbo was at the window shouting your name.

“right tommy, i should probably go, ill see you later bud!”

you said goodbye to your parents as tubbo opened your car door for you.

“what a gentleman, thank you, tubbo.”

“anything for you, now let’s go. jack began filming the intro and i really want the hat hes wearing.”

“you’re ridiculous.”

he stood with his arms crossed shaking his head, pretending to be offended before walking off with you not far behind him.

you stood with niki and wilbur as tubbo went off filming some of the intro with jack. the three of you stood talking about how you have all been and discussing more plans for your meetup.

“y/n, go control your friend, he’s stealing a hat!”

you ran up behind tubbo and stole the hat from him, putting it on your own head.

“why have you got the hat now?”

“i am now captain!”

“but i wanted to be captain!”

you and tubbo stood arguing back and forth over who was captain, ignoring jack trying to get the pair of you to stop.

“you have 5 seconds to stop arguing or you’re being separated 5...4...3...2...1 right.”

“jack no!”

jack pulled you aside claiming he has something really important to ask you.

“so did you bring something valuable?”

“yeah i did actually, i brought tubbo and the necklace tommy gave me for my birthday last year.”

tubbo overhearing the conversation walked over telling you both that he also brought a valuable item, in fact it was a family heirloom.

“i brought an urn.”

“why would you do that tubbo? what the fuck-“

“you two do realise if either of you lose it had to go in the sea?”

“poor grandma.”

“aye about that you will have to pry that necklace out of my hands in order to throw it in the sea!”

the three of you went up to wilbur and niki where wilbur stole the hat you stole from tubbo, and you were told that you were all about to race to the isle of wight.

it was unfortunately time to board the boat, you sat next to tubbo, so that you felt like you had some sort of control with what was about to happen. the others sat making jokes about what was going on whilst you were trying to get control of your breathing. as you all set sail, you thought you were doing a good job of hiding the fact you were potentially about to have a panic attack as no one seemed to notice, or so you thought. considering the fact tubbo was your best friend, he instantly noticed something was wrong and wrapped an arm around you, and decided that distracting you would be a lot better than making you focus on what was currently happening.

“hey y/n, i have an amazing idea for when ranboos in the uk. a 4 month sleep over.”

“heh?”

before you had time to fully process what was going on, all you could hear was wilbur now claiming to be captain then going on to tell you why portsmouth is called portsmouth. you couldnt help but laugh at the random things he was coming up with since he put the captains hat on.

“that is a cinema..i’ve been in this industry for a while now, isn’t that right?”

it was silent for a while until niki tried to steal the captains hat, but was unfortunately unsuccessful .

“maybe next time niki.”

“thank you for believing in me, y/n.”

you pointed out a castle which ended up with wilbur talking about how the planned executions there .

“are they dead?”

“...tubbo of course they’re dead. what kind of question was that?”

the other boat began getting closer to the boat you were all currently in, indicating that it was almost time for you all to split up into two groups.

“my boat is going much faster.”

“that is a sign of pollution.”

“wow jack you’re polluting the world, i hope you’re happy!”

the ride was pretty chill until jack asked what he had lost in the past.

“past relationships.”

“the love or host.”

“laugh you lose streams.”

“the waterslide races from when we went to the water park.”

you and tubbo continued listening things that jack had lost.

“okay. so i’ve lost a few things.”

jack looked towards the other boat.

“however, you two are about to lose each other.”

“excuse you?”

“no, y/n is mine!”

eventually wilbur had enough and picked tubbo up and took him to the other boat with him.

“TUBBO!”

“Y/N!”

you and niki sat laughing as jack and wilbur bickered about who was going to win the boat race. whilst jack was distracted, you felt niki tap your arm and told you to look over to the other boat where tubbo was reaching his arm out to you so you could quickly swap boats.

you quickly got into the boat and sat next to your best friend, tubbo knew you were still slightly nervous, so made it so you would be sat in between him and wilbur so you would feel a lot more comfortable. a few minutes later, your boat began to set off and all you could hear was a mixture of tubbos laughter and jacks yelling getting quieter the further you went.

“AY THEY CANT START WITHOUT US!. AND THEY GOT Y/N, WHEN DID THEY GET THEM?!”

you turned to face wilbur who pointed towards a building before announcing that it definitely belonged to the the three of you, and was renaming it reddit gold.

“reddit..reddit gold, are you serious?” you said through your laughter, the three of you sat together taking turns narrating what was happening .

“go on, y/n.”

“if this capsizes, were all drowning.”

“cheerful as awful.”

“do you think sharks are beneath us?”

“i’m not even answering that question.”

you looked over your shoulder to see that niki and jack were catching up to you all.

“i hope they don’t overtake us, otherwise it’s bye bye tubbo.”

“and grandma.”

“excuse you, tubbo?”

“he’s claiming that he brought an urn with him and if we lose our valuable item gets chucked into the sea.”

a little while later jacks boat was next to yours and you and wilbur started to shout how it was like romeo and juliet.

“y/n, you studied this at gcse a while back, yell some quotes.”

“tubbo i didn’t listen to the teachers.”

“do it!”

“no!”

wilbur continued to talk to the others whilst you and tubbo sat bickering about William Shakespeare .

“tubbo my favourite character was benvolio and he fucked off halfway through.”

“what do you mean he fucked off?”

“he literally disappeared.”

wilbur was genuinely questioning what he was listening to he slowly turned around and tried to catch your attention; however you were currently in the middle of a debate about why benvolio disappeared, which was that last thing you expected to be doing on the boat. eventually your debate died down and you looked up to see wilbur shaking his head at you both, clearly confused as to why you spent 5 minutes arguing about romeo and juliet. an idea came to wilburs mind as he started laughing and pointing at the sea.

“drink some seawater, tubbo.”

you looked away as tubbo reached into the water trying to hold as much water as he could before bringing it to his lips and drinking the seawater.

“tubbo did you really just-“

“more tubbo!”

tubbo did the same as before, however this time brought his hands towards your face.

“drink it, y/n!”

“yeah, y/n, you can help desalinate it.”

“how wonderful, i’ll pass though.”

tubbo looked at you pretending to be upset and lifted his hands towards you again, this time you gave in and drank some of the water.

“thanks, tubbo, I can now only taste salt.”

jack noticed what you and tubbo were doing and looked at wilbur confused.

“im making them drink seawater!”

“what’s it like?”

“potassium!”

“salt.. a lot of salt!”

you checked your phone as you kept receiving multiple messages from tommy trying to get your attention, forgetting that you were currently on a boat with the others. you looked up from your phone to see tubbo drinking more seawater.

“AGAIN?”

you had no idea what was going on for jack and niki, but it sounded a lot like they lost hope as jack yelled asking if there was room for him on the boat while tubbo sat flipping him off in response to his question. jack continued to yell at the three of you however none of you could hear what he was yelling, so you kind of sat just nodding your head in agreement to what he was saying. wilbur pointed out that he could see the finishing line and how it looked like you were all going to make it. you looked over to see jack and niki recreating that one scene from titanic tubbo looked at you smiling, trying not to laugh.

“absolutely not one of us, if not both of us, would end up in the sea.”

the boat began to go significantly faster. at the start you were unsure how to feel, however a few minutes into it you began laughing enjoying how fast you were going.

“woahhh we’re turning!”

the boat did a loop before going straight on as fast as it could go.

“y/n, tubbo, we’re going. we’re going.”

“OH MY GOD!”

you ended up passing another boat you and tubbo instantly waved to everyone on the boat a few people waved back .

“they don’t wanna wave.”

“they know their boat is bigger than ours.”

“they could easily ram us and kill us all.”

“hopefully they decide against doing that.”

the boat began weaving resulting in you, tubbo, and wilbur constantly crashing into each other, not that any of you cared you were all having the time of your lives. you pointed at a boat which was cutting off the boat jack and niki were in .

“we’ve got this in the bag boys, victory is ours!”

your boat slowed down so it could dock.

“i think we’ve won!”

“we won”!

“holy shit we won! tubbo doesn’t have to go in the sea now!”

everyone got out of the boat so you could all wait for jack and niki to reach the dock, as the two of them approached you all tubbo began to sing.

“we are the champions my friend!”

“STOP IT!”

“i have to go into the fucking water!”

you pulled niki into a hug.

“jack you cruel man.”

“did you not have fun niki..we had a great time.”

you let go of niki and stood behind tubbo placing your head on his shoulder whilst jack explained to wilbur what was going to happen if they lost.

“oh, I thought we got to decide who was thrown into the water.”

“no no no no no no!”

“well i think considering we won..”

after a small discussion as a team, you all instantly agreed that jack should be thrown into the water, you all stood on the boat as niki argued that he cant throw her into the water. a couple seconds later wilbur walks towards jack handing him the camera before picking him up.

“are you ready?”

“i don’t think the bits that funny will, i don’t think the bits that funny!”

you all screamed and laughed as jack was thrown into the water. jack complained about the temperature of the sea as he climbed back onto the boat only to be pushed off again by you and tubbo.

“that’s revenge for trying to put us on separate boats!”

you spent the rest of the day together just hanging together as a group before you said your goodbyes.

the ride back home was you excitedly explaining what your boat ride was like to your parents, once you got home you ran upstairs to your room then called tommy on discord

“how was it then?”

“tommy it was so cool, honestly i wish you could have come with us.”

“i mean you’re coming with me george and wilbur to a water course next week, you don’t have a choice.”

“oh okay, it’s a good job i’d love to be there then, tom, also what mod are we playing just so i can check i have it ready.”

“rlcraft.”

the two of you spent a good hour talking before getting ready to film a video with charlie and jschlatt for tommys youtube channel.

taglist:

@l0ver0fj0y @etheriaaly @xx-smiley-xx @hawarun @kylobensgirl @cawcaw-pretty-thing @reverse-iak @c1loudee