wewillbeseen-butnotbeheard

[wewillbeseen-butnotbeheard]

[wewillbeseen-butnotbeheard]

somewhere now

[wewillbeseen-butnotbeheard]

i do again wonder if stubbornly sticking the symbol onto my own bios would help desensitise myself to it until it’s just the same as everything else. i am “friendly firing” either way

[wewillbeseen-butnotbeheard]

i don’t know why i hate therians so bad

when i see the “ΘΔ” in somebody’s bio/wherever my attitude changes immediately and i think “fuck this person” even if i don’t act upon it or REALLY hate all of them .

it is completely irrational. i know what i sound like. i know what i “am” somewhat. do you think that stops it when it comes round to it? no

if we want to talk about some kind of “denial”, especially in my case, it probably runs much deeper than everyone wants to act. i am stuck in a hole. i am sure i can move past it eventually, but still

[wewillbeseen-butnotbeheard]

things to say. but no reason/desire to write them. i feel like i am burning out of this quick

[wewillbeseen-butnotbeheard]

this really isn’t a game, earlier i came across that one art piece i actively try to avoid and it hit me just as hard. i was shaking a little i think. i had to distract myself and everything. nobody’s fault really, but i forgot how some of this makes me feel

whatever

[wewillbeseen-butnotbeheard]

whatever you do, do not try to be “relatable” by attempting to explain your feelings over desiring to be an animal somewhere you think would be filled with people who don’t get it. because they will say “real” or “this is exactly how i feel”

i don’t mean to be minimising towards anyone. but it’s like.. i’m not fucking joking. i’m not exaggerating or using an expression

“mood” this is not a mood, this is part of who i am

[wewillbeseen-butnotbeheard]

how the fuck am i going to be the one person you have blocked

[wewillbeseen-butnotbeheard]

how the fuck am i going to be the one person you have blocked

[wewillbeseen-butnotbeheard]

my name is “fox”. and i guess i like that. i know it’s not my real name, but i take a lot of comfort in it, to the point that it has probably changed my self-perception much further into “fox-ness”

i like being called it. it’s the furthest i can go without explicitly declaring myself as that species, which is very daunting (though i like it when others do it sometimes)

it means the same thing though. i’m using it in the way of species designation , but not directly, if that makes any sense.

[wewillbeseen-butnotbeheard]

see, i (again) have heard the way i’ve been mentioned by others and i should say that i’m not acting like anything i’ve previously said has been “correct”

and i can see what a lot of my experiences point to, ive had it highlighted enough times now that theres no way i couldn’t

i can acknowledge it, but it is very hard to ACTUALLY say “yes” and reject your own body on some fundamental level, no matter what words feel genuine “comfortable” or “right”. it’s still somewhere i need to get to in time

[wewillbeseen-butnotbeheard]

Genuinely asking, why don’t you make a blog to be a fox & focus on the happy aspects of life/getting to be a fox?

Ik this blog is a place you dump a lot of your personal angst, but truly- it seems like you may desperately need a positive spot for yourself to be,, idk, fox-y

You’re causing yourself and others strife, and I guess I’m just wondering if you really find a point in all this. You dont seem too terribly happy with anything here

i don’t know. i guess i should, i probably will at some point. i need to get through most of this first

i’m still not very good at “being fox” if that makes any sense. i do it a little on here, but it’s still a mess

right now, i just still need somewhere to talk about all this. i’ll progress as things go on

[wewillbeseen-butnotbeheard]

+and if you were going to be an asshole back to me when i post like that then you should understand that everything i say is deadly serious instead of taking me as “ragebait” how even??

i sometimes have said things i feel probably aren’t really true, but i still mean it when i say it. sometimes i want to repeat it until i’m correct. and i’m not continuing to act like i’m somehow “right” in what i have spewed out

[wewillbeseen-butnotbeheard]

that furries against nonhumanity blog should have (should) gone somewhere. (in a non-hateful way, i’m just saying) i should have stuck to it for longer, just one post on there got more “pushback” than anything on here. it could have gone somewhere maybe (if not anything, then at least pissing people off)

i mean i was serious about it. i was on the brink of writing a “manifesto” and everything, i’m not kidding. i was going to set up on multiple platforms and etc.

i guess i won’t touch it. i just think it had potential, but i have no rational/healthy reason to keep it or anything

[wewillbeseen-butnotbeheard]

i think a lot of people misinterpret my entire blog

i don’t know if i’m “notorious” or something (not even my words, anyway) i don’t mean to be. not like it bothers me

i have seen numerous callout posts against me and there’s probably more. i don’t care really, and i know it’s warranted, but i feel they get it very wrong. you’re not required to figure out the full context/everything about me, but still, it’s like. you’re wrong

god knows how people talk/think abt me without posting it. “we all know exactly who this is!!” either way i can’t control it and it doesn’t necessarily bother me as much as it makes me just want to know. whatever

[wewillbeseen-butnotbeheard]

i hope the “freedom of form” thing comes to fruition. even partially. i’d like to have a tail or something

you know when some people say they want to be something else? i think it’s an expression. it’s always about “escaping responsibilities” or whatever, not that they get genuinely down sometimes by looking at their human feet.

i guess i have to accept it’ll never be real. but why can’t it be? is it too much to ask for? i don’t think so. it’s why i get in so much pain over some of the “animal hrt” thing. i just wish it was real

[wewillbeseen-butnotbeheard]

something i heard from somewhere else has made me able to articulate some more of this

in a certain sense, i can understand why i start acting the way i do. in some way this all feels like a “game”. it’s embarrassing, to “lose” even if that’s what’s best for me

i can’t help but see it that way. when some people say something about “me being in denial” they don’t actually have any bad intentions. and i know i don’t have to kneel to whatever someone else says. but what if i want them to be right/they are right?

there are probably dozens of people who’ve said something like that to me. it becomes especially impactful if they’re bigger accounts/artists because how am i supposed to brush it off after so many times?

all of this is partially tainted from that, and it feels “good” to push it away because i’m “resisting” some kind of imaginary “corruption” taking effect on me. it should be an immature point of view but i can’t help it

a lot of condescending words from people i’ll probably never speak to again. and it’ll still be a huge “told you so” moment, at least for me, so it’s much harder. doesn’t mean it’s not what makes me comfortable. just that it’s embarrassing and feels weird like that

a lot of my feelings lead me to finding comfort in art of transformations/people turning into animals, etc. and i sometimes feel as if i am the metaphorical subject of that kind of transformation (if that makes sense) which doesn’t necessarily bother me, but it is just as embarrassing/humiliating as one would imagine

it just feels so incredibly condescending sometimes and it sticks with me. and when i complain about this, i often get faced with things like “don’t worry, they’re wrong” but i don’t WANT them to be wrong, i think that hurts more, because this is still the direction that feels more “right”.

i want this to be my experience, not what somebody else has branded me with. even though they’re the same thing, it’s very different. and i want it to be my happiness