#I’m gonna be honest she was so real for that. I’ve been having a normal one over here and

[cure-icy-writes]

Something I don’t think is talked about enough in revolutionary girl Utena meta is the way it plays with tropes in regards to her parents. The first thing the show tells you is that they both died when she was a kid, and a prince comforted her. So it seems like her parents only ever existed for the sake of her Prince.

And on another level, there’s the way she’s more vulnerable to Akio’s bullshit specifically because she’s lonely, because she wants a family.

But then you find out just how fucking devastated she was, how this utterly shattered her worldview and taught her that nothing is forever. She was maybe seven years old? I’m not an expert on child development but I feel like that’s going to have some impact on your attachment style. Her prince was actually kind of a dick. And it humanizes her, it asks you to view a little girl’s tragedy as a devastating psychological impact rather than just fuel for a man to step in and save her. It tells you that this is not a story about a prince, but a frankly fucked up little girl who is now a moderately ill adjusted teenage sapphic.

[katshelluvacritic]

Charlie Morningstar is probably one of the worst written characters I’ve seen in the series.

(This one’s gonna be a long one…)

Ok…. So I watched all six episodes and to be honest I’m pretty much pissed off by this character specifically. This might be more of a rant rather than a critique, so I do understand that not everything I say in this will end up being as constructive exactly but I genuinely need to get this off my chest, especially since she is a character I’ve specifically and recently been hyper fixating on before the show released…

(Side note: I realized the post was very long so, to have it be easier to read I added titles for each section! Hope this helps)

!!WARNING FOR SPOILERS FOR THE SERIES BTW!!

> Charlie lacks the qualities of being a main character.

Now besides the piss poor excuse of an introduction for her (and the rest of the cast) in the main series, I honestly question why exactly Charlie specifically is the “protagonist” in the first place (and I say protagonist with the biggest of quotes here, you’ll see why).

In the first episode of the series “overture”, we don’t really see much of her character, most of the time we’re shown screen time of Vicky (a nickname I made for v*ggie since I’m not gonna call her by her genitalia thank you) trying to make an ad for the hotel and even when we do get the screen time of her, she’s barely doing anything other than hearing viv’s self insert- I mean- Adam just go on and on about whatever he’s talking about.

And when Charlie does go on to explain her plan to redeem sinners she’s just interrupted and then stands there when they start singing hell is forever, she doesn’t “go off” like the hazbin Twitter says, she just stands there and then tries to say something only to get interrupted again and again and then gets pushed out of the meeting room before going back to the hotel to see it’s spread across in the news that the next extermination happens in 6 months.

Now although one might argue “Well didn’t Charlie at one point said in the show that giving orders is so mean?” Well yes but again, Charlie is literally the princess of pride ring, you would think that since her parents are literally rulers of pride, they would’ve probably teach her how to stand on her two feat, especially if your RUNNING A HOTEL. And the thing is, she has stood up and did so in episode 6 and the goddamn pilot (which is at this point is probably canon due to Charlie calling it the hazbin hotel instead of happy hotel), even going as far as to fight Katie Killjoy because she thought it was stupid.

Not only that but the episodes after overture, her screen time lessens until somewhat in 5 and 6. She doesn’t really appear that much in the between these episodes to the point where she feels like a supporting character rather than a protagonist. And when she does get screen time, she’s either forgettable at best and infuriating at worst.

> Charlie’s character is poorly written and just dumb.

In the episodes past overture, she’s literally rock solid stupid that I literally screamed in real life multiple times “you’re a fucking idiot” because of how frustrated I was from what she was doing, In episode 2 she literally trusted sir pentious to go to her hotel even though he almost destroyed her place and in episode 6 thought it was a hunky dory idea to let a person who literally exploded buildings to take charge of giving her employees a “good time”. Yes it could be played off as her being naive but if she’s that naive of a person then maybe she shouldn’t be a boss of a hotel to rehabilitate sinners.

Heck, in episode 4, Charlie gets pissed off and turns into her demon form because val literally started hurting Angel when he followed him into the room (and rightfully so) but when angel tells her to leave and drags her out of the studio, she’s just in her normal form and fucks off??? Reminder she’s literally the princess of hell! She could beat the shit out of val if she wants to, why did she just fucked off after angel had her leave?

“But Kat, what if something bad happens to angel if valentino dies?” Like what? If it was explained that if an overlord dies then the sinners that made a deal with them die too or something like that then yeah, that would make sense but we don’t know that whether or not that’s the case, if anything angel could be just fine after Valentino dies but we don’t know that.

And even when Charlie had the opportunity to go out there and apologize to him herself after he stormed out of the hotel, she and Vicky just send Husk to do it. And I have to ask, WHY? HUSK didn’t know what was happening to Angel earlier. HUSK wasn’t at the porn studio that Angel was working at. CHARLIE WAS….

“Well Kat, what if Charlie was scared about making things worse?” Fair enough, but again sending Husk is a stupid idea, I feel like it would’ve AT LEAST made sense if she sent Vicky out there. Because Charlie didn’t know if husk could fight (if you could even call it that, all he did was throw cards at people), BUT SHE KNEW VICKY COULD THOUGH. But nah we gotta do it for the ship right?

And then Charlie had the gull to be crying that angel forgave her after she fucked up, like shut the fuck up… it’s like if viv looked at a bunch of chars that had the optimistic care-free ‘ish personality and thought that meant making her as pathetic as a baby crying that they didn’t get a lollipop from their mommy.

Like I’m gonna be honest with you, it’s literally gone to a point where I think Orel Puppington (aka the 11 yo Christian kid who worships Jesus and gets harmful lessons from other Christians) makes a better Charlie Morningstar than the Charlie Morningstar herself!

And that thought is justified when he tried to go help people in Sinville, “Kat he ended up turning into a pimp at the end of the episode” yeah but AT LEAST HE TRIED TO ACTUALLY DO SOMETHING! Which leads me to another question….

> How is Charlie gonna redeem sinners exactly???

Like honestly, I’m serous with this one. How is Charlie gonna redeem these guys?

I ask this because in the series, she barely does ANYTHING to help these guys, she and the rest of the characters just sit around and then do an activity that is the equivalent of something you would do in kindergarten except it’s with ADULTS.

I don’t know about you but If your idea of helping people is doing just that and nothing else, then the only thing the people around you are gonna get is them being annoyed at first and eventually walking out with thinking your not helping them but rather just treating them like a baby who doesn’t know anything, and the only thing your gonna get personally is nothing because you did dick all.

Like other than that she pretty much just whines about sinners not going to her hotel and oh gee I wonder why, it’s not like your not doing anything to help these sinners not committing sins anymore, oh definitely not, your absolutely being helpful.

“Oh but Kat! Charlie was born in hell, how can she know how to help people? She’s not from the human world so, she wouldn’t exactly know how to help these people!” I would tell you to look at the world building for the series and it’s spin off but that’s a whole other can of beans that I don’t wanna cover today and this is already getting to long, so y’know what? We’ll go with that.

If Charlie didn’t know how to help people and was trying to figure out what she can do to help sinners get better, then why didn’t she just ask her employees for suggestions? Y’know, the other sinners who were from the human world and had experiences while they were alive and such?

Yeah, I get that not all of their advice would be exactly good or healthy (since they’re sinners who’ve done many bad things after all) BUT ITS AT LEAST SOMETHING FOR FUCKS SAKE!!!

She literally does nothing, she just expects you to immediately get better after some improvisations or whatever other activities she does and once you’ve done one nice thing then boom you’re close to redemption.

> Conclusion.

Charlie Morningstar is (like I said in the beginning) probably one of the worst characters in the hazbin hotel series, she at best a stereotype of the “everything is sunshines and rainbows” character tropes and at worst is a pathetic excuse of a main character and is nothing but a rotten shell of her character from the pilot.

I would go on about how her design’s also bad but I’m sure millions of people have already said the same issues and I’ve already posted my redesign of her before the show dropped.

I might plan on posting a rewrite of her or maybe explain my problems with another character or episode but I don’t know.

But until then, I’ll see y’all later!

[casanovawrites]

random sentence prompts   ━ from various tv shows, part 13

i need a life away from death.

you are so cute when you theorize.

i’m kidding myself to believe you’re really open to being with someone as open as me.

i think it might be too late for you.

not a lot of people wanted to take a shot on me right now.

i don’t date. i don’t even know where to start.

fuck what you wanted.

you have a gun. why won’t you use it?

there she is. there’s the fucking killer.

i’m so done with trying to be more. 

you raised me from the dead.

everyone wanted to get out of here. you at least had a shot.

i’ll figure something out. but i’ll figure it out alone.

i’m uninterested in letting the past define me.

i’m not gonna ask you for help. i’m not gonna ask you for anything.

you know i wouldn’t say no. not to you.

will you two just make out already? get it over with.

we do not have to stay here.

i don’t wanna be me anymore. 

i am so sorry, but i need your help.

i feel like i’m hanging on by a thread here.

this will be so fun. a little slumber party.

we’ve both done terrible things, but we’ve done them for each other.

can’t tell if it’s been 20 minutes or 8 hours.

when it really comes down to it, you’re like… wallpaper.

are you mad at me now?

we don’t have to be friends for me to make sure you’re okay.

don’t you just assume that i’ll go along with whatever you say.

i never really thought of us as a “we.”

if i’m the right person, i think it’s supposed to be easy.

closing your eyes to reality doesn’t change anything, it just makes you blind.

we’re just two tired, shitty people who needed to feel something.

i don’t think he’s ever talked to a woman in a hoodie before.

i’m not gonna make you pay rent. i kicked you out.

you’ve got your own life, and i’m taking up too much space in it.

you can’t rise above something if it’s eating you up inside.

up until 20 minutes ago, i didn’t know i liked you.

i’ve never been confused about the fact that i’m a piece of shit.

does that make her a murderer, or just… quirky?

so i’m not normal because i want to live my life the way i want to?

turns out i’m actually good at doing terrible things to people who have it coming to them.

sometimes taking the high road is overrated. especially if it’s driving you crazy.

you keep coming back alive, don’t you?

if this is you broken, stay broken. 

maybe we can die alone together.

i’ve done some shit. i’m like a monster now. i hurt people. 

i just risk everything, so that afterwards, when it’s done, i just die alone.

you think i can pull off big and violent?

can we just talk for a minute and i’ll fuck off after if you want?

i am realizing i used to think you were kind of stupid.

what the hell are you supposed to do if you can’t close your eyes and picture a better life?

do you ever think about trying to have just a little bit of fun?

i just need to be depressed and alone.

i was in some sort of delusional state last year.

it’s only when you’re alone that the real haunting begins.

i’m just here because i’m so fucking supportive.

oh, i see. you’re funny all the time now.

something great happened to me, and that’s all i care about.

i think you know i think you’re pretty.

from where i’m sitting, you wanted someone to listen and nod and agree with you.

do not fucking follow me.

you can’t live in fear. you gotta be honest with yourself.

i’m always impressed with how you can make nothing to do with you all about you.

we’re in that mutually assured destruction territory now, yeah? 

actually, i just wasn’t having any fun.

just take care of yourself. alright? and i’ll do the same.

we’ll be depressed together because i am not leaving you here alone.

i had a stupid fight with someone.

basically, i was embarrassed.

you blew up my life. was that just for fun?

i’m trying to be less of an idiot now.

if you do not stop smiling at me like that, then i’m gonna have to kiss you. 

are you gonna be this romantic all year?

like it or not, you have a way of bringing people together.

what scares me even more is that i need you.

why don’t we just be scared together?

i think… i think i cheated.

today’s the worst day that i’ve had in a decade.

fuck that, i am not leaving you here.

i’m always ready to lie to an adult.

you’re only honest when it serves you. 

i don’t have the energy to pretend to be nice.

damn, you make it hard not to love you.

sometimes looking the part is more important than what’s really going on.

so if we hate each other so much, then why do we keep ending up in the same fucking room?

i am a walking shit show. i’ve let people down multiple times.

that kiss was just me fucking things up like i always do. nothing more.

there’s so much anger between us. maybe that’s how it’s always gonna be.

you don’t know me like that.

are you always this fucking helpful?

your skin glows like your heart holds a piece of the sun.

do you always change the subject when things get complicated?

[my-castles-crumbling]

I have a problem Cas… I think im in love. 

Okay so, there’s this girl. We’ve been best friends like 5 years. I mean i’ve always- okay I don’t know how to explain this. 

I’m basically a fan-fiction come to fucking life. 

So i’m Demisexual, and last year I decided to come out to my family. I don’t know if other Demi ppl have preferences of gender, but I don’t. Honestly labels confuse me. I’m not sure if technically i’m Biromantic and Demisexual but hey, the point is- and what I explained to my family- that i’d be open to dating anyone. 

Basically i was telling them I wasn’t straight. (Obviously Demisexual is also about sexual activities and people and stuff but I wasn’t gonna try and explain to my parents that I don’t really get attracted to random ppl- cause they don’t get it- and I didn’t want to accidentally start talking abt sex). 

So anyway, they were not happy. Have you watched Brooklyn Nine-Nine? There’s this clip where the character Rosa comes out as Bi and her parents are like “That’s okay, since you can still date a man and marry a man and be normal” and they were like that for me (i’m a girl in case that wasn’t obvious- so they wanted me to date a man).

And I didn’t really care to be honest. I had an equal level of straight friends to queer friends, I felt suitably in both worlds. I truly love my family. They’ve always been good to me. But they did imply if I did end up with a girl, they wouldn’t want to meet/know her.

Not to mention the religious trauma. I spent a shit ton of time listening to ppl tell me that same-sex marriage and relationships are a “sin”. Hell- there was this one rlly lovely women at church when I was like 9, but she got kicked out when they congregation found out she was a lesbian. (Okay- not kicked out but like bullied into leaving).

So it was fine for me to accept that I could potentially date a women since i’ve never felt immediate attraction to anyone, it never felt totally real. 

BUT NOW I HAVE A PROBLEM. So my best friend (who is also a girl) of 5 years. She’s amazing. She’s literally the funniest person i’ve ever met, she’s so generous and has helped me so much, and she’s just adorable. She’s like fucking sunshine. And ngl, I don’t often like people who are so cheery all the time because it feels fake and I like people around me to be honest. 

But she just, she has this way of finding the beauty in the stupidest things and it’s so cute. We got splashed by a car the other day, drenched both our outfits, and instead of being mad, she got all excited and had us do a photoshoot in our crazy soaked clothes, and then got all excited that we could cuddle under a duvet and watch a movie with snacks once we got home cause apparently that’s the only acceptable thing people can do after being covered in water (which is exactly what we did).

And she’s not unreasonably happy, you know? Like when people try to cheer people up at bad times and make everyone more sad, she’s not like that. Whenever i’m upset, or mad, she’ll doodle these cute little flowers on coloured paper and write things she loves about the world on the back of them, and once i’m done ranting abt how annoying the world is, she’ll give it to me and smile. She has the best smile.

I have this jar, I write the date on them and put the paper in the jar. 

We’ve been best friends five years, she started doing that like four years ago and i’ve had the jar pretty much from the start. 

It’s always been easy to be around her. We sort of knew each other for like a year, and then I blinked, and we were best friends. I read all the books she gives me even though the plot is super cheesy cause she loves talking about them, I learnt how to bake all her favourite snacks her mum made, cause she’s pretty far from home and honestly a tragic baker. And she cooks dinner (don’t ask how she can’t bake to save her life but is the most incredible cook, it’s unbelievably ridiculous) for us a lot, she learnt to make my fav food. 

We technically live together, we’re at the final year of uni (maybe not tho depending on our next courses, I dunno) so we’ve been living together this year, but before that, I basically spent most of my time around her place anyway.

So yeah, we’re friends. But I realised a few months ago that i’m pretty, definitely, in love with her. I think i’ve felt like this for about a year and it just hadn’t quite clicked yet. 

(I had this awful day and came back to our place to see her genuinely painting our wall a different colour of white. She paints as a hobby and accidentally splatter a ton of blue paint on the wall and freaked out and tried buying white paint to cover it when it wouldn’t wash of and she was sat on the floor with white paint all over her and the wall still blue. 

She told me the story and I burst out laughing. I explained you often need white primer first, to cover the blue, and then to buy the correct shade of white, since ours was sort of chill white and she’d bought bright white. 

It’s the type of thing that would’ve annoyed me so much at the end of such a tough day, but because it was her, I just found it adorable. That’s when it clicked, I love her. She noticed I was tired immediately and felt bad cause she realised i’d had a bad day. I said this cheered me up, cause it did. Then we made dinner together and spent the night reading on the sofa with music on. 

We went to the shop the next day to get the correct stuff and luckily our wall is back to looking almost exactly the same). 

So yeah, I love her. Plus like, being demi, I don’t usually find ppl attractive… I mean i’ve always known she’s aesthetically pleasing, she has good fashion sense and stuff, but like, I tend to view all people as the same sort of level of attractive. BUT NOW ITS LIKE- SHES FUCKING BEAUTIFUL. It’s kind of annoyingly actually. How is everyone not spending all day gazing at her eyes. They’re fucking caramel, like a book character. She says they’re brown but she’s wrong. In dull lighting they seem brown but they’re like dark orange (amber i guess) with little hues of green, but in the sun they’re really bright and caramel and warm. 

She’s a lesbian btw. So theoretically I’ve got a shot. Also, i’ve always been good at reading people and I know she’s had like a small crush on me at least twice in our friendship. You can tell sometimes. 

But recently, it’s been a wreck. I’m so distracted cause i’m in love with her I can’t think, and my friends keep telling me she loves me back but I can’t keep my head on straight long enough to try and tell. 

But. If I do get my head out of my ass and tell her and she does end up wanting to date me, what the fuck am I supposed to do then. Cause if it does work out, i’m pretty sure it’ll last. 

My parents never totally liked her (they probably saw this coming- but I think in the homophobic, all queer ppl date each other, way and not the, they’re meant to be together, way) and if ended up having to tell them i’m actually dating a women, they’d be pissed. 

I always thought i’d end up with man, since it’s easier. No religious guilt about that. But I can put aside my own brains stupidity for her. But I can’t change my parents. But aside from this, they’re literally amazing. But I also know them and I truly don’t think they’ll change.

All my friends having been saying me and her should’ve been dating this entire time. I don’t know, I like to think now would be kinda perfect. I always knew she was gonna be in my life forever, I guess I just got so used to imagining myself with a man I forgot she was an option? That I could be with her romantically forever. You know, assuming she wants to date me.

(We’ll see about that. I’m really not sure. But i’m totally shit at keeping my own secrets so i’m planning to tell her soon if not just for the sake of my own sanity. All my friends say she’ll reciprocate, if she doesn’t, then I guess i’ll go from there, she’s not the type to be weird or bothered that we live together despite it. And if she does… then I have to decide what to do next. My other best friend is literally always right when it comes to our friends dating lives, and she has faith we’ll end up together, so we’ll see I guess) 

But if she does. If she does I’ll have to get into it with my family. I don’t want to lie to them. And I know I shouldn’t judge, but I honestly don’t think they’ll change their minds. I think they’ll say I can come visit whenever, but not bringing my partner. And I won’t want that. And we’ll all argue.  

I never liked knowing my parents didn’t accept this side of me, but I guess I never considered it would be an actual problem i’d have to deal with someday. 

I spend a lot of my time trying to figure myself out. I haven’t had the easiest path in life. But with her, it’s so easy. It’s easier to understand what I like, it’s easier to talk about things, and I fully trust her not to be weird. Or leave. Or get mad for nothing. I don’t have to walk on eggshells around her. I trust her. We don’t argue much. We have, what she calls, three different type of arguments. 

One, “bad mood argues”. She finds it so hilarious that it rhymes. You have to say it with the syllables. Bad-Mood Ar-Gues. We have these cookies in the freezer that we make every month. If one of us is having a bad day, we cook a few cookies to eat and I bought this dumb fridge magnet of a cookie to put on the fridge to signify it’s a cookie worthy bad day. 

Another one is “justifiable anger”. That doesn’t happen much. When we first met, she had this tendency to not tell me when I did something that upset her, and it’d spiral, and i’d be mad she wasn’t talking about why she was mad. So we have a rule to always talk about problems, even the little things. For example, her yelling into the phone to her family for hours while i’m trying to study- she has planned days now, so I can go to the library or she can go out if necessary, or keep the convo below 45 min, her mums like half deaf so she does have to shout, but it’s also VERY loud. Basically we comprise. And make sure no anger builds up.

The third type of argument is, what our friends call, “married idiots”. As in, she shouldn’t use the siri talk thingy while driving cause it never understands what she’s trying to say and so I get jumbled texts that mean nothing and then she thinks she’s told me something she hasn’t told me. She’s nearly understanding that one 🤦‍♀️ And you know, the classic colour of something argument (it’s purple- she’s wrong).  

Anyway. I forgot my point. Oh yeah, everything’s easier with her. I feel comfortable. If i’m being totally honest… i’m pretty sure if I ask her out, she’ll say yes. Like 80% sure. Im just scared to fuck this up, and cause family problems. Cause yeah, she’s worth the drama, but also, it’s her that’ll be being insulted right? She very likely won’t be allowed in my house. I don’t want this to ruin what we already have. 

So yeah. That. I could really do with some advice ❤️

Hi <3

If you do not ask this girl out, I will physically pass away.

Like...I'm not usually so pushy with asks, but you're describing a relationship, hon. This is a relationship. I'm not sure if you follow me because of the Marauders, but you two are literally Wolfstar, And I'm shipping the two of you so hard right now.

If, for some insane reason, she turns you down, it's because she doesn't realize she's in love with you, too.

As far as your family...again, I'm going to be more blunt that usual. You're going to have to face their lack of acceptance for you at some point. It's absolutely shit that they don't accept you, but like...don't let that stop you from being with this girl. Because even if you put off their feelings now, you'll have to deal with it someday, and then you might miss out on an amazing girl.

Please update me. I need updates. I am so invested. I am DYING for updates.

God, I'm rereading all the things you wrote and I'm kicking and giggling. You two are ridiculously adorable. Please kiss her already (with consent).

I'm naming you purple anon. Please write back.

[emilyssky]

War Of Hearts // JJ Maybank

PAIRING: JJ Maybank! x fem!reader

WORD COUNT: 13.7k

GENRE(S): smut, angst, fluff, fuck buddies to lovers

WARNINGS: smut [ praise, degradation, fingering, dirty talk, oral sex, choking, slapping, spanking] , mentions of violence, mentions of blood, swearing, mentions of alcohol, smoking. Jealous and protective JJ !

Author's note:Wrote this last night after finishing season 3, hope you’ll like it :)

SUMMARY: 

You and JJ have been messing around for a few months now until you try to cut it off because of your growing feelings for him that you think are one sided. A series of unfortunate events bring you face to face with unexpected fear and your relationship with JJ when you get caught up in their treasure hunt. 

I've always loved summer. Something about the warm weather, the sun, the ocean, and the salt on my skin made me feel alive. For the most part, I loved my life in ΟΒΧ. Some would say that I was born blessed, that I got both sides of the coin with my mom being a pogue and my dad being a kook but it feels mostly like a curse to me. My whole life I've never been fully accepted by either side. I wasn't t rich and snobby enough for the Kooks and never wild and spontaneous enough for the Pogues. It's not like I was on bad terms with anyone, everyone was friendly enough but ever since I could remember I felt left out, never having real friends. And if I'm being honest, it wasn't the kooks that I was jealous of, something about the pogue life pull me in. It seemed exciting and freeing in a way. When my mom married my dad and had me she knew that she wanted me to grow up knowing both sides. She wanted to offer me the chance to be the one to choose where I belong. She's big on following your heart and dreams and always told me growing up that I'll find my way and that if I follow my gut, the choice is gonna be pretty easy. We lived in Figure 8 but my mom opened a cafe on the south side, wanting to keep in touch with that side of her life. My life is a series of the same things over and over again. I like spending time alone, if I'm not at school or working my shift at the cafe, I'll probably be by the beach, reading or surfing. Sometimes I will go on boat rides with my dad or steal the keys and go by myself. It's not often that I will hang out with the Kooks, in fact, Sarah Cameron is probably the only person that I would voluntarily hang out with and actually enjoy it. And when it comes to the Pogues, everyone knows that it's just Kie and her boys. I'm friendly with all of them, occasionally have chat with or enjoy the waves together but that's about it.

Today is a day exactly like any other; I finished school and came straight to the cafe. It was not too crowded, with only a few regular customers enjoying their usual cup of coffee. I was behind the counter, cleaning the coffee machines, making sure everything was full and ready until I heard them. It's the group of kids that you hear before you see. John B enters first, pushing his long brown hair back as he laughs at something Pope is saying. I like John B, we share a lot in common and have nice conversations from time to time. He's a really fun and social person but this year was a rough one for him. His dad went missing almost a year ago, many people consider him dead by now but John B will not accept it, he still thinks he's alive, somewhere lost at sea. My mom and his dad were close back in the day before she met my dad and moved to figure 8. We used to play together when we were young up until he met his current best friends. My dad offered him a few jobs involving our boat and at the cafe, after Big John disappeared so I've been seeing him around more lately. Pope and Kiara follow right behind him. Me and Kie used to be close, but now our relationship has changed into a few talks here and there, I still consider her one of my closest friends though. Pope is fun. He's one of the few people that talks to me normally and always makes me feel comfortable at social events or parties. And lastly, my favourite pogue follows. JJ Maybank. Me and JJ have an interesting relationship. Teasing, flirting, bickering, that's his speciality with every girl in the Outer Banks, kook or pogue but sometimes I like to think that he actually enjoys my company. He was always the one I was looking forward to see but today he's the one I'm trying to avoid and have been trying for the past 2 weeks. His blue eyes find mine the minute he walks through the door, and a smirk spreads across his face.

"Hey, Y/n" John B greets me, reaching the counter.

"I'm not serving you free coffee." I immediately shake my head, knowing exactly what they want.

"Oh, come on." He frowns his thick brows, fake pouting.

I let a small chuckle at his attempt. "How many times do you think it will take for my mum to notice?"

"One more?" He offers, lifting his shoulders.

I scoff, shaking my head again.

"Come on, your mum loves me anyway." He presses.

"Yeah, but my dad not so much."

JJ places his elbows on the counter, right next to John B, and I immediately look down, continuing cleaning the coffee machine like I was doing before they came in.

"What if I'm the one asking?" He says, leaning in with that playful smile of his that I know all too well.

"Then it's defiantly a no." I fake a tight smile.

"Why so grumpy today princess?" He places a hand over his heart.

I roll my eyes and turn back to John B. He brings his palms together, begging me silently.

I sigh. "This is the last time." I point my finger at both of them.

"Yes!" They high-five each other.

"I'll bring it over." I wave them off.

I lift my eyes to his only for a second, catching the wink he sends my way as he follows John B to their usual table where Kie and Pope are seated.

I quickly fix up 4 iced coffees and walk over to them.

"Here you go."

"You're the best." John B touches my side lightly.

"You're coming next Saturday right?" Kie asks reaching for her coffee.

"What's next Saturday?" I question placing the last coffee on the table.

"We're throwing a party on the beach. It's gonna be fun." Pope explains.

"You're coming." JJ states without looking my way.

"I'll see." I nod at Kie with a small smile before leaving them to it. I walk back to the safety of my counter feeling his eyes burning on my back. The parties here at obx were always good. It's the one time that Kooks and Pogues can coexist in one place without jumping on each other's throats. Well, sometimes at least. It's fun nevertheless, all of us drinking and dancing by the beach forgetting our responsibilities and problems for a little while. I stay behind the counter, doing any task possible to distract myself but anytime I let my gaze fall his way, he's already looking.

"Thanks for the coffee Y/n." John B waves at me as they leave about an hour later.

"See you at the party cupcake." He brings two fingers to his forehead.

"Maybe." I shrug, walking to their table to clean up.

"You know I'll be miserable without you." He yells already out the door.

.  .  .  .

I don't usually work on Fridays, so after school, you'll probably find me at the beach if I'm not locked in my room. I enjoy my alone time. Riding the waves, sitting under the sun with a good book, or drawing in my sketchbook. Today my mind felt a little heavier, so I took my time, and before I knew it the sun began setting. I quickly throw my bag over my shoulder and begin to make my way back, realising that it's almost dinner time. I silently curse at myself for not riding my bike to the beach cause the walk back to Figure 8 seems dreadful. My ears perk up catching the sound of a motorcycle approaching with speed and I close my eyes hoping that it's not him but when I hear the motorcycle slowing down I know that my hope is not coming true. He stops beside me and I stop walking, turning to look at him. His hair is pushed back by the wind, he's wearing a simple white t-shirt with grey cargo pants, and his face is as pretty as always. My eyes narrow a little as I spot a bruise over his right cheekbone and it doesn't take long before I spot all the different marks and scars across his face.

He still forces a smug smile on his lips, ignoring my staring. "Having an afternoon surfing session princess?"

"What happened?" My eyes can't stop studying his face.

"Oh, you know the Kooks had it coming." He shrugs, masking his face perfectly like he always does but I know better.

"JJ." I trail off, my stomach tightening knowing exactly where he got these injuries from.

His jaw tightens. "It's nothing' Y/n. Same old, same old." I shake my head, in disgust. I can't even stand the thought that his dad walks around the OBX freely. He's such a piece of shit. "Get on the bike." He nods behind him.

"It's fine, I'll walk." I tilt my chin.

He scoffs with a smirk. "When will you stop with this whole act you’re putting on?" He waves his hand around.

I change the weight from my right to my left leg, crossing my arms. "I don't know what you're talking about." I keep my face expressionless, ignoring the way his beaten face cause my heart to tighten.

His eyebrows come together and his gaze shifts, dropping the playful act. "You're ignoring me." He states.

I'm trying.

I avoided his eyes cause I know that the more I look at them the weaker I get. It happens every time, I say that I'm gonna stand my ground and then I find myself beside him regardless.

"Look," He clears his throat, eyes moving everywhere. A weird expression takes over his features and I immediately know that he feels uncomfortable. "I don't care why you're pushing me away but can you stop ignoring me for a few hours?" He struggles to speak the words and that makes me a little warm inside. I glance at his bruised face once more, remembering all the times he came to me after his fights with his father. All the long talks we would have in order to get his mind off of it or the times I would sneak him through my window to treat his injuries.

I sigh and silently climb behind him, wrapping my arms around his waist. I feel him chuckle. "Just so you know, we're just talking."

"Sure." I can't see his face but I bet he's grinning.

He took his time, driving aimlessly around the streets of OBX. I don't mind though, I know him enough to know that it helps him clear his head, so I stay silent resting my head against his back and enjoying the ride. The sun has set and the night breeze tingles my skin in the best way. I notice that he takes the familiar route to my house.

"Are your parents home?" He yells, looking behind his shoulder.

"Yeah, I think."

"We'll have to be quiet then." He clicks his tongue.

"Like that has stopped you before." I smile against his shoulder.

"True." He glances at me again, the corners of his mouth lifting.

He parks his bike a block down from my house and he walks quietly around the back while I go from the front door.

"Hey, honey." My mom yells from the kitchen at the sound of the door opening.

"Hey, mom." I enter the kitchen, sneaking my arms around her waist while she chops some cucumbers, preparing a salad for dinner.

"Dinner will be ready soon." She smiles.

"Oh, I'm not hungry, I already ate." I brush her off, walking to the fridge.

"It smells amazing dear." My dad enters the kitchen, dropping his keys on the kitchen table.

My mom flashes a smile at my dad before turning back to me. "When did you eat?"

"I hung out with Kie by the beach and we had some sandwiches."  I quickly make up an excuse, grabbing a water bottle and closing the fridge.

"Just Kiara?" My dad lifts an eyebrow.

"Yes dad," I sigh.

"Honey." My mom scolds him.

"What?" He lifts his shoulders. "I'm sorry that I don't want my daughter hanging around boys that smoke weed, get drunk, and steal shit on the daily."

"Mark." She glares at him.

"They're not stealing anything, dad." I narrow my eyes, sick of him attacking them all the time. "They're not like that, you don't know them."

"Well, some of them are." He continues and I know exactly who he's referring to.

"You're wrong" I shake my head, lifting my hands. " and you're not gonna tell me who I can and can't hang out with." I walk past him shooting him a glare and head up the stairs.

"Y/n." I hear my mom yell but I ignore her and hurry into my room, slamming the door shut and locking it.

JJ's shoulder is rest against the open window, arms crossed in front of him with an unreadable expression. I drop my gaze to the floor, walking to sit on my bed and placing the bottle on my nightstand, feeling a little ashamed for the way my dad spoke about him and his friends.

"I'm sorry for my dad." I feel the need to say.

He moves to sit next to me, forcing a tight smile on his lips. "It's fine, we all know his opinion about the south side."

I move my head, trying to get a better look at him. "Hey, are you okay?"

"Yeah, yeah princess you don't have to worry about me." The nickname tugs at my heart almost as much as his smile.

I reach to touch his hair, pushing them back and toying with the short hair at the nape of his neck. "You know you can talk to me."

His eyes twitch with suppressed emotion, his jaw set with eyebrows frowned. "I know."  I offer him a small smile, not moving my hand. "Can you, like, talk to me?" He asks. His eyes are screaming even though he manages to keep his expression under control. "I want you to take my mind off things, just talk to me about anything." His tone is almost begging.

I bring my knees to my chest, wrap my arms around them and turn to face him. 'What do you wanna know about this time? My weird obsession with serial killer documentaries, my views on feminism, or if I put the milk or cereal first?"

His face breaks into the first real smile today and I feel a little proud. He shakes his head lightly, his eyes not leaving mine before he pulls me by the neck, smashing his lips to mine. It's like all the pain he carries and all the words he desperately wants to say are spoken by the way he moves his lips hungrily against mine. The softness of his mouth contrasts his rough breathing as his hands hold my face, pulling me closer to him. His small groan that echoes through the room and the feeling of his tongue brushing over mine snaps me back to reality.

"Jay," I whimper, pushing at his chest lightly.

His lips leave mine but our foreheads stay together. "I'm sorry." He mumbles, inhaling short, sharp breaths.

My fingers trace his bruises and my stomach twists even at the thought of how his dad created them. I hate how he grew up having to hide all this pain and I hate how he's being treated. "I don't want you to go back to him tonight." I whisper and his eyes snap to mine. "Stay with me."

His face finally breaks, and the emotion in his eyes overtakes his whole expression.

"But we're just sleeping," I lean back, pointing my finger at him. "and you'll have to leave before my parents wake up."

His eyes water a bit but a grin paints his lips as he wraps his arms around me, pushing me back to the bed.

A giggle escapes me. Damn him.

. . . . . . . .

"I'm going with Topper." Sarah touches up her already perfect makeup.

"Ugh." I groan. "What do you even see in him?" I scrunch up my nose. Sarah is the only kook that I can stand to hang out with. And the only Cameron I actually like.

"He's nice." She rolls her eyes at me, holding up two dresses, one yellow and one blue. "Stop being a bitch to him. Which one?"

I tilt my head." The yellow one obviously."

"What are you wearing?" She questions while peeling off her clothes and changing into the short yellow dress.

"I don't know if I want to go." I lay back down on her king-size bed.

"Come on, you love parties. Is it that you don't wanna go or that you don't wanna see a certain someone?" She wiggles her brows at me.

"I'm just not in the mood." I shrug, looking away but she sees right through me.

"Yeah right." She chuckles. "Cut the shit and get dressed." She throws a black shirt on me.

. . . . . 

The beach is full of people, kooks, and pogues dancing, drinking, and having fun. Big barrels of beer everywhere, stands with bottles of alcohol and hundreds of red cups here and there. It's not even midnight and everyone is already wasted. Most of the girls are in their bikinis by now, dancing like there's no tomorrow on top of giant rocks. The minute we enter the party, I go straight for the beer, pouring myself a cup. My eyes silently search the crowd for any sight of his fluffy, blonde hair, or of any of his friends. I spot Kie and Pope taking shots with a few other people and John B just a few meters again, flirting with a blonde girl but he's nowhere to be found.

"Looking for someone?" Rafe says close to my ear, catching me off guard and making me flinch away. He smiles at my reaction.

"What are you doing here?" He's one of the people that rarely joins things like this. He and his friends really don't get along with the pogues, unlike me and Sarah. I try my best to limit my contact with Rafe, Topper, and the rest of their little group but somehow they find a way to be right in my face.

"Enjoying the free alcohol." He lifts the cup to his lips, hiding his smile. "What are you doing here?"

I take a sip of my beer. "I came with Sarah."

He nods, eyeing me up and down. "You look gorgeous as always."

I roll my eyes at his compliment. "Thanks."

"You know," He leans in closer. "you're always cold towards us but when it comes to these pogues you're a fucking angel. Why is that?"

I sigh out loud, not really in the mood to deal with his whining. "Cause I can. " I offer him a smile before walking away, blending in with the dancing crowd.

It didn't take more than 4 cups of alcohol, to find myself dancing between a few half-naked girls, that are probably as drunk as I am. My body has a mind of its own as I swing my hips to the beat of some '00 song. I lost sight of Sarah half an hour ago when she disappeared with Topper, and I joined Kie and Pope and took a few shots before throwing myself between the sweaty bodies, pretending that the fact that JJ is still nowhere to be found does not affect me at all. He's a known player around the Obx, sleeping around, flirting his way through, breaking hearts left and right and I've had my fair share of it. But the game he's playing is a dangerous one, and I'm trying to protect myself the best way I can.

"Shots!." John B yells, throwing his hands in the air, holding a bottle of tequila in his right one. A few girls extend their cups for him to pour them some but I've probably dropped mine while dancing cause it's not between my fingers anymore.

I tap on his shoulder to get his attention. "Hit me!" I yell over the music and open my mouth wide.

"Let's go!" He yells pouring a shot straight into my mouth. The alcohol drips down my chin as I try to swallow, my eyes watering at the process.

"Another one." John B says and taps my chin waiting for me to open my mouth again and I do. All eyes are suddenly on us, everyone is cheering and yelling as I shallow my fourth shot in a row and I feel two hands grabbing me by the legs and lifting me higher. I throw my hands in the air, laughing as the people around me scream louder. My mind is somewhere else, and I let the carefree feeling and numbness that comes with alcohol overtake me. Until I open my eyes. I sober up in a second when my eyes find his. His on top of a rock, smoking with a few other people. A girl leans in towards him, her hand wrapping around him as she laughs at something Pope said but he stays unbothered, his eyes still on me as he lifts his cup my way with a nod and a smile. I nod back not knowing what to do before turning back to the girls I was dancing with. I continue moving to the music but my mind isn't letting me shake him off. Suddenly, the alcohol feels heavy in my stomach and the sound of my heartbeat is louder than the music in my ears. My hand flies to my mouth as I run out of the dancing crowd and as far away as I can from the people before dropping to my knees and vomiting in a bag full of used cups. I feel two hands reaching for my hair as all the alcohol that I consumed leaves my system.

"It's okay, I got you." I hear Rafe's voice over the music that has faded a bit due to the distance. "Here" He hands me a napkin.

"Thank you." I cough out, taking the napkin, and bringing it to my lips.

"Hold on, let me bring you some water."

I wipe my mouth and drop the napkin inside the trash bag.

"Here." He pushes a cup of water into my hand, tugging my hair behind my ear as I take a few sips of the water slowly. "Stop drinking so much Y/n, Jesus."

"I'm okay." I rise to my feet.

"Come on," His hand wraps around my waist. "let's take you home yeah?" He starts pulling me towards the other side of the beach.

"I don't think she's going anywhere with you Cameron." My head snaps to the right, hearing Rafe scoff at the sight of JJ. JJ's eyes twitch when they fall on me, his eyebrows coming together.

"I don't think you have a saying in what she does pogue." Rafe's hands drop from my body as he takes a step forward.

JJ's expression shifts in a second when he moves his eyes from me to Rafe, a smile spreading over his lips. "Oh I think I do," He takes a step forward as well. "And she's not going anywhere with you." His voice drops a little.

"I suggest you take a step back." Rafe doesn't back down.

JJ's eyes darken. "Or what?" He takes yet another step. "Last time I checked you're still nipping at her heels and following her around in case she pities you and gives you a chance."

Rafe lets out a growl, pushing JJ backwards but he just laughs mockingly, knowing he hit a nerve but that angers Rafe more.

I step between them before Rafe can make another move. "Stop acting like five-year-olds." I look at both of them, but they ignore me, not taking their eyes off each other.

"Hey," My hand touches Rafe's chest, forcing his eyes away from JJ. "go back to the party, I'll let you know when I'm ready to leave." I lie, knowing that it's the only way to make him walk away without creating a scene cause trying to make JJ drop this would be even harder. Rafe's eyes narrow, flickering back to JJ. I reach for his hand, softening my tone. "I'll find you." I nod, trying to reassure him.

He nods back, letting out a sigh. "Turn him down kindly babe." He says, knocking JJ's shoulder with his as he walks out.

JJ's eyes are fixated on me. "You'll let him know when you're ready to leave huh?" He says when Rafe's far enough.

"Maybe." I play along, shrugging my shoulders.

His tongue comes out to wet his pink lips, hands resting on his hips as he takes a step towards me. "Is that so?"

"Last time I checked I can go home with anyone I want." I cross my arms, trying not to let my gaze drop to his lips.

"We both know that I would never let that happen." His voice drops, his tone raspier.

"Why JJ?" I tilt my head upwards due to our height difference but that doesn't stop me from taking a step forward as well, only leaving a few inches between us.

His fingers wrap around my neck, catching me off guard. "Come on now princess, let's not play dumb." He smirks.

"I'm not playing dumb. Actually, I'm done playing." I wrap my hand around his wrist, pulling it away from my neck.

Something flashes over his eyes but doesn't stay for long. "Trust me, I'm done playing as well." He mumbles before cupping my jaw with both hands, not letting me escape and in a split second his lips crush into mine. My breath hitches as the taste of weed and beer coats my tongue but I'd be lying if I say that I haven't missed it. It's been a week since the last time I kissed him and since then I've tried to keep myself at a distance, knowing that the more I let this go on the more invested I become, and knowing JJ, it will not end up well If I do. He lets out a low moan as his tongue enters my mouth, colliding passionately with mine. My fingers grab his shirt for support, my body suddenly overwhelmed by the familiar knot in my stomach that begins to build.

"Fuck, I missed you baby." He breaks the kiss, allowing me to take a much-needed breath. I dare to lift my eyes, looking up at him through my eyelashes, only to find him looking hungrily down at me. His hands travel from my jaw, down to the curve of my waist and he pulls my body to his. "You kept me waiting for so long." He breathes out, resting his forehead on mine.

"JJ" My tone begging and warning at the same time. "We shouldn't be doing this."

"You can not name a single good reason for us not to." He says, running his thumb over my bottom lip.

"I can name a few."

His hands drop to my ass and in a swift move, he lifts me off the ground forcing my legs to wrap around his waist. "I'd rather hear other sound out of that pretty mouth of yours." He starts walking away from the party, keeping his hands secure under my thighs and crashing his lips to mine once again. He makes sure we're far enough from the crowd and behind plenty of trees and bushes before stopping and dropping me carefully on the sand. He breaks the kiss, straightening his body and reaching to peel off his white long-sleeve shirt.

"You look fucking amazing tonight." He doesn't break eye contact. "I was hard from the minute I saw you walk in." He leans back down, his eyes roaming over my body as if he hasn't seen it in ages.

My hands reach for the ends of my shirt, pulling it over my head. "Fuck." He dives hungrily into my naked chest. Sucking, nibbling, and biting. He squeezes my boobs between his palms, rolling his tongue over my nipples, making them harder by the second. His wet lips slide down my stomach teasingly as his fingers toy with the button of my shorts before finally unbuttoning it. He drags it down my legs, leaving me in my black panties, exposed and ready for him. Somehow I always find myself in this position as much as I'm trying to avoid it but the sight of him desperately fumbling with his belt as his eyes devour my body is one that I'll never get enough of.

I lift myself onto my knees, lowering my body so I'm facing his crotch. I pull down his shorts along with his boxers freeing his already hard member. A small moan escapes my lips at the sight, my mouth watering. His thumb and index finger reach for my jaw, tilting my head to meet his dark gaze.

"I want your eyes on me as you choke on my dick, okay princess?" He says and I'm aflame from head to toe. He takes his dick in his other hand, pumping it a few times before dragging the tip across my lips, coating them with his leaking precum. I keep my eyes locked on his wild blue ones as I take him in my mouth.

"Fuck" He curses under his breath as I twirl my tongue around the tip. I replace his hand with mine, taking him deeper, the size of him weighing on my tongue. I relax my jaw, allowing almost his whole member to enter my mouth. His hands fist my hair while his hips begin to thrust forward, lightly fucking himself in my mouth.

"You're so fucking good at this baby." He praises me. "Look at you choking on it, that's it." I force myself to breathe through my nose while saliva starts dripping from my mouth down to my chin. He fastens his pace only for a few seconds before, pulling my head sharply back by my hair, his dick dropping from my mouth as I gasp for air.

He groans out loud. "I missed this."

His words sink in as much as I try not to let them. It's always 'I missed this' and never 'I missed you.'

He connects our lips again, tasting himself while he pushes me down on my back. His fingers run over my clothed pussy, and that's enough to make my back arch, silently begging him for more. My body responds to him in ways that I can't explain or control. Just a touch and he has me already panting. He pulls my underwear to the side opening my folds with his middle finger.

"Ugh." I gasp.

"Shit baby, you're already dripping." He whispers satisfied against my lips. His mouth falls to the curve of my neck, sucking on my skin as his fingers begin to rub circles over my clit making tiny moans escape me. Unexpectedly, he slides two fingers inside me, quickly building a fast pace.

"Oh, my god." I shut my eyes, pleasure creeping into my lower belly.

"You respond to me so well princess." He kisses me, capturing my bottom lip between his teeth. His fingers pump in and out of me, making my breath shorter as the pleasure builds.

"God Jay, I'm gonna-" The words die in my throat and the flicker of his thumb on my clit sends me unexpectedly over the edge. My orgasm rushes over me like a wave, my body going numb for a few seconds, gasps and moans leaving my lips.

"That's it baby, ride it out." His pace slows down a bit before pulling his fingers out. He leaves wet kisses along my jaw, making my eyes fly open.

"I want more. " My tone begging with no embarrassment.

A grin overtakes his lips, his eyes shining under the dim light of the moon. "I want you on your hands and knees. " He demands.

My body moves on its own, and before my mind can catch up I'm on all four, my ass on display in front of him. He runs his palms over the skin before slapping sharply my right ass-cheek.

I gasp, flinching forward. "That's for flirting with Rafe."

"I wasn't flirting with-" 

Another slap.

"And that's for ignoring me for a week." He growls. I stay silent as he pulls my underwear to the side again. He strokes my pussy with the head of his dick, dragging it up and down my slit, teasing me.

"JJ please," I whine desperately.

He leans down bringing his lips beside my ear. "Say you're sorry for ignoring me."

I swallow the last bit of pride that's left in me, understanding that my need for him is too big, and knowing that his ego is hurt, I do as he says. "I'm sorry for ignoring, I'm sorry."

"You want me?" He presses, his tone dripping with enjoyment.

"Yes, I want you so bad, please." I push my ass backwards.

He lets out a low chuckle and I hear him rip open a condom, seconds later his head presses against my entrance and slides in slowly. We both let out a groan at the feeling. God, I missed this too.

"Ready?" He asks breathlessly after a few seconds.

I nod my head, allowing him to move his hips. He grabs a full fist of my hair while his other hand stays on the curve of my ass before he pulls out and slams back in.

I immediately gasp when he begins to thrust inside me building a fast and steady rhythm.

"God, you're so fucking tight." He groans. The sound of skin on skin fills the air and my breaths begin to come out short as I arch my back. His dick feels too good inside me, almost heavenly. The way he moves, the sounds he makes, I've missed everything.

"Fuck it's so good." I brokenly moan. His balls begin to hit perfectly at my clit, pushing me closer and closer to my second orgasm. His grip on my hair tightens and pants of air mixed with low growls leave his mouth. I'm struggling to keep my body up as a fucks me harder than ever before and the fire in my belly grows.

"I'm not gonna last long." He mumbles in my ear but the pleasure between my legs is too much, my muscles burn and I squeeze my eyes shut as I let my second orgasm wash over me, euphoria spreading at every inch of my body. My legs begin to shake the sensation too intense as he fucks me through the last of it. His thrusts become sloppier, his nails digging into the flesh of my ass.

He falls forward and I feel his heartbeat on my back. "Fuck, Y/n." He lets an animistic growl in my ear, his body stilling completely as he empties himself inside the condom. Drops of sweat fall from the tips of his blonde hair on my shoulder, while both he and I catch out breaths. After almost a minute he plants a kiss on my back before pulling out slowly. The feeling of emptiness creeps in, alongside with the embarrassment and the realisation of what just happened. I hear him pulling the condom out and throwing it somewhere, while I stay almost frozen. Now that everything is done, I can't find the strength to face him. I lift myself to my feet, my legs still a little weak but I ignore it reaching for my shorts and putting them back on. I keep my back to him and my head low as reach for my top. The sound of his belt lets me know that he doing the same. I feel a tap on my shoulder and I turn around. He holds up my shirt between his fingers.

"Thanks." My voice falters. I pull the shirt over my head and run my fingers through my tangled hair. I feel his eyes on me, burning at the side of my head. I build up all the courage that I can master and turn my gaze to him and it takes one second to regrade it. He stands there, fully dressed, his blonde hair a mess, looking at me with those eyes. Those big, blue eyes that I've grown so used to over the last few months, staring at me with so much softness, analysing. Suddenly, my body is fighting a wave of emotions.

"What?" I ask, my tone almost a whisper.

He clenches and unclenches his jaw, his eyes saying so much but his mouth, not a single word. "I'm taking you home." He states before turning around and walking away back towards the party. I don't fight him, I simply follow him to his bike. Both of us know exactly what's going on, I know he understands what I'm trying to do but he doesn't seem to understand why and I don't bother explaining. I know him. I know how he is, I know how he reacts. I know who he is and who I am. I keep my hands tight around his waist as we make the short way towards my house on his bike. I try to enjoy these last few moments with him. It's always stolen moments like these. On his bike, on the beach, hidden in John B's van, silently in my room, or in my dad's boat. And that's not enough.

.

.

.

.

It's been days since I last saw him. He left me home, with a small nod and a goodnight and I haven't seen him since then. Truth be told, I haven't worked at the cafe at all, claiming to my mother that I have a lot of homework, which is partly true. I've been distracting myself as much as I can with school and studying. Tonight is no different, I'm sitting comfortably in my bed working on my homework for Monday.

"That's it, I'm done with this boy." My dad's yelling interrupts me, catching my attention.

"Honey please, he's going through a rough time." My mom tries to calm him down. "Let me talk to Y/n, maybe she knows something."

"She better not, she shouldn't be hanging out with these boys in the first place." I hear a door slam. I have heard my dad this angry in a long time, but usually, it is always about the same things; either me sneaking around and breaking his house rules or something to do with the pogues. My dad loves my mom and accepts her for who she is but he doesn't get why she still wants to have ties with the south side and most importantly why she wants me to grow up knowing both sides. But what are they fighting about now? What boy?

A soft knock on my door snaps me out of my thoughts. "Come in."

My mom opens the door slowly., entering my room. "Hey, honey." She closes the door behind her.

"What's going on mom? Why is dad yelling?" I ask her right away.

She lets out a sigh and approaches my bed, taking a seat. "Y/n have you talked to John B at all?"

My eyebrows twitch. "Um, no not really, why?"

She doesn't appear mad unlike the way my dad sounded a few seconds ago, instead, her face falls at my answer.  "Are you sure? Have you talked to Kiara or the other boys?"

I shake my head, her questions confusing me more. "No mum, why?"

"Apparently the keys to the boat are nowhere to be found." She finally explains.

"And you think Jonh B stole them?" I lift both my brows. "Mom, come on, I mean I would expect something like this from dad but not from you."

"No, no" My mom shakes her head, reaching for my hand. "No, honey. You know what I think of him, I care about John B, I've known him since he was a child. I wouldn't mind if he took the key and had fun on the boat with his friends for a few days but you know how your dad gets."

"It's always the pogues' fault." I roll my eyes.

"Please talk to him, " She nods. "I would hate for him to lose his job because of something like this. Just ask if he took them."

I nod back. "Fine, I will."

"Thanks, honey." She places a kiss on my forehead. "Goodnight."

"Goodnight mom." I hold my smile until she closes the door. Why would John B take the keys to our boat? He knows that if he simply asked me or my mom we would let him borrow it. This doesn't seem like something he would do but then again, the only people that have access to the boat are me, my parents, and him. I reach for my phone and call John B but the phone rings and rings with no answer. I try a few more times, before trying Kie and Pope, but no luck. I stare at his number for a few seconds before pressing call, mentally preparing myself to listen to his voice after so long but just like the rest of them, he doesn't pick up.

"What the hell? Why is none answering?" .

.

.

I decided to go by the chateau after my morning shift at the cafe. I prepare myself and go over the things I'll say if by chance JJ's there as well but I stop in my tracks when an unfamiliar van comes into view packed outside the house. Sounds of glass breaking, things being thrown around, and doors slamming can be heard as I move closer to the house. I push myself behind a big tree, narrowing my eyes, trying to peer through the open window, when 2 men come into view. Big, muscular, and scary looking. Fear begins to spread through my body.

"You better not be in there boy!" One of them yells as they both throw themselves to a closed door, trying to open it. They kick and punch at the old wooden door as it slowly begins to crumble. Suddenly I see the window on the side of the house opening, and a body quickly forcing its way out of it. He turns around and I immediately recognise Pope's face. Kie follows shortly after with John B right behind them. They begin to run my way as I stay frozen, completely shocked by what's happening right in front of me. Pope's eyes lock with mine, his face taken over by a scared expression probably mirroring mine.

"Guys." He yells in a whispering tone and everyone's heads snap my way. JJ is the last to jump out the window, running behind his friends.

His eyes fall on me, eyes widening. "No, no, no." He mumbles as they all reach me. "No, not now." He grabs my arm just when a gunshot echoes through the area. I gasp, my body numbing with fear as JJ drags me along with them, my eyes not leaving the house as the 2 guys open the door and burst into the room that they guys came out of. JJ pulls me inside the small chicken coop closing the small door behind us. I bring my hand to cover my mouth, my fingers trembling. I look around taking in all of their scared faces. "W-what-" I try to say.

"What are you doing here?" JJ angrily whispers, pulling me by the arm to face him but I don't react.

"JJ now is not the time." Kie snaps at him, fear written all over her face as well. The chickens begin to make noise, yet nothing reaches me. "Do something. " She nods towards the chickens.

"Like what? Pet them?" Pope jokes while trying not to panic.

JJ reaches over taking the chicken in his hands and squeezing his little neck until it eventually stops breathing. I try to take deep breaths but my eyes stay locked on the house as the men get inside the car and drive off. Kiara takes my hand in her, tears wetting her cheeks.

"I think it's clear." John B says. "Come on." He steps out of the coop, Pope and Kiara following him.

JJ moves in front of me, stepping out as well. He extends his hand for me to take. My trembling fingers wrap around it, allowing him to pull me out. 

"What are you here?" He repeats. His eyes look at me still panicked, moving around my face almost fanatically. His hands come up to my face, pushing hair away.

"I.." I try to form a sentence but my mouth is dry. "I was looking f-for John B."

"God." He runs his fingers through his hair, moving around.

"I thought we were going to die." Kie breathes out, holding her hand over her chest. Pope moves to her side and pulls her into a side hug.

"What just happened?" I say still trying to catch my own breath. "Who are they? What did they want?"

John B looks at his friends, and I know that he's silently asking them if he can tell me. He walks towards me. "Hey, I'm sorry you had to see that." He pulls me to his chest.

"Are you in trouble?" I look up at him. "you know that my mom will help you with anything. Just tell me."

"Y/n-"

"You don't have to know everything." JJ says, his hands crossed in front of him, his face suddenly cold.

I move my eyes to him, confused by his tone and sudden energy shift.

"JJ.." Kiara sends him a careful glare.

"Why were you looking for me?"

"Um," I mumble, my eyes still fixated on JJ. "did you take the keys to our boat?"

He closes his eyes, cursing under his breath. "Yeah," he looks at his friends again, all of them looking at me apologetically. What the hell is going on? I'm used to not being involved in pretty much anything when it comes to them, but this is not a joke.

I narrow my eyes at all of them, shaking my head. "Can anyone please explain to me what the fuck just happened?"

"Look Y/n-" Pope takes a step forward but JJ cuts him off, placing a hand on his chest.

"No, she doesn't need to know."

"What's wrong with you?" Anger overtakes my tone. He's acting like an asshole right now. "Do you realise what just happened JJ? Those guys had a gun."

"I know that Y/n." He clenches his jaw, walking back towards me. "but it doesn't involve you, so just go back to figure 8 cause last time I checked that's where you belong." He gets closer to my face and I feel my whole body stiffens at his cruel words. "Stop trying to be a pogue." 

I tighten the muscles on my face, not wanting to let the tears leave my eyes but the unexpected anger overtakes my body and my hand moves across his face, slapping him hard. His face freezes, staying to the right. He has never spoken to me like that. He has never acted this way towards me and I hate it.

"Fuck you dude." I spit, shaking my head. I turn to John B. "Give me the keys." I don't care why they took them and I don't wanna know what happened anymore, I just wanna go home.

"Y/n.." He gives an apologetic look.

"Give. me. the. keys." My tone is sharp as I open my palm in front of him.

He lets out a sigh before dropping them in my palm. I put them in my pocket, not saying a word to him, and turn around.

"Y/n, let me come with you." Kie offers.

"I'd rather not." I say getting inside my car and slamming the door shut. I pull out without waiting for any of them to try and stop me and drive off, letting the tears finally fall. Tears of fear, tears of anger, and tears of hurt. He was right; I desperately wanted to be one of them my whole life but that wasn't the reason why I asked. I don't give a shit what they were doing and how they ended up in a situation like that, but it was serious. It wasn't fun and games, those guys weren't joking around and I care about them. All of them. If they're in trouble I want to help them as much as I can. My mom would understand them and she would do anything to help cause she's a pogue. But I'm not. I'm not and they'll never see me as one. They'll never trust me enough. He'll never let me get close. I know how it is and I thought that I had accepted it but clearly I was wrong cause it hurts.

. . . .

It's been 2 days and yet I'm still on edge. I still look over my shoulder every 5 seconds, and I still flinch over any slightly loud noise. I've been zoning out constantly, my mind travelling back to that day and his words. It still hurts, the way he talked to me but it was the reality check that I needed. Maybe it's time to actually stop and move on.

I wipe the last of the tables getting ready to close the cafe. The sun is setting and I can't wait to go home and relax after a long day. I move to the counter, grabbing my stuff and making sure everything is closed and in order when I hear the 'ding' the door makes when it opens.

"I'm sorry we're closed-" I turn around coming face to face with the 2 men that broke into John B's house.

Their faces hold the same smug expression, satisfied with the clear shock that overtakes my whole body. "We're not here for coffee." One of them says, his voice raspy and low.

My feet move backwards until my back hits the front of the counter. "I-I can't help you then." I shutter.

"Oh but you can," He smirks. "you can deliver a message to John B for us."  I shake my head repeatedly, my chest heavy as I try to breathe. He grabs me by the arm, his fingertips digging painfully into my skin while the other finds my neck, choking me.

"And since words won't do it for them, maybe this will. "The other one says, nodding to his partner with a smirk. The guy releases me and before I have time to catch my breath, his hand slaps me across the face so hard that it sends me to the ground.

"Ugh." It takes me a few seconds for my sense to return, my head heavy with pain and my skin burning. He grabs me by the shirt, forcing me upwards only to bring his hand across my face again. I yell in pain, tears streaming down my face as the taste of blood fills my mouth. My eyes struggle to focus.

He stands straight, looking down at me. "P-Please stop." I beg but he stays unphased, kicking me right in the stomach. Pain spreads through my body, my knees coming to my chest as I cough violently. He kicks me again, and again, his boot finding my face at some point and I scream until there's no strength in me to make noise anymore. The tears won't stop and breathing gets harder by the second.

"Tell your friend that he better give us the compass or else he's next. "He pulls my head up by my hair causing me to whine in pain. He gives me one last evil smirk before slamming it back on the wooden floor and walking away without a second glance at my aching body, his partner following.

I sob violently at this point, trying to keep my head focused and my eyes open but they're getting heavier and heavier, the world starting to spin. I don't know how long I stayed on the floor in and out of consciousness but when I heard my name being yelled my eyes snapped open.

John B kneels by my side. "Oh my god Y/n, what happened?" He says, his voice full of panic. His hands' ghost over my body not knowing where to touch me as he scans the injuries.

I don't reply but a broken sob escapes me.

"It's okay, it's gonna be okay." He slides his hands carefully under my body, my face twitching with pain. He takes me in his arms and walks out of the cafe. "It's okay, you're safe, I got you." he murmurs against my head. He lays me down on the back seat of the twinkie before hopping in on the driver's seat. His hands move fast, his eyes wild, looking back at me every 2 seconds as he drives.

"What happened?" He whispers. "W-who did this?"

I keep my eyes close and try to control my breathing but the pain is too much. "T-those men" The words that leave my mouth are barely audible but he catches them.

His hands tighten around the wheel, before punching it. He looks back at me anger written all over his face, his eyes almost watering. "I'm sorry, I'm so sorry Y/n. It's all my fault."

"The compass.." I drag out, causing him to look back at me with wide eyes but everything fades again.

I feel his hands on me again. He takes me in his arms. "We're here." He whispers and I bury my face in his neck. I recognise his house immediately. He takes big steps almost running trying to hold me without causing me pain.

He reaches the house. "Guys!." he yells. "Help!"

"Oh my god, Y/n," Kie cries out rushing to us.

"What happened?" Pope tries to help John B carry me to the couch.

"Y/n." It's his voice that makes my eyes finally open and it's the look on his face when he sees me that hurts more that the pain in my body. A single sharp breath leaves his mouth before he's by my side as John B places me on the couch. I let out a small whine.

"What happened?" He whispers, dropping to his knees beside me. "What happened?!" He yells turning to John B who has his hands buried in his hair, pacing around the room. Kie appears back in the room with a first aid kit.

"Those men, the 2 men that broke in, jumped on her. " He answers.

"What?" Pope says. "Why would they do that to her? How do they even know her?"

"It's the boat, idiots." Kie angrily says passing some ice to JJ. "They saw us jumping inside it to escape them."

"Baby," JJ presses the ice to my cheek, with trembling hands. I can already feel different parts of my body brushing. His other hand comes to my head, brushing my hair back. "Baby, I'm sorry." He places his lips against my forehead. His lips tremble, and he shakes his head, eyes wide full of fear and anger. "You're gonna be okay, I'm here yeah? I'm not leaving you again." He whispers, his voice breaking.

Kie appears next to us. "Jay, let me take care of her." She touches his shoulder. "She needs help and rest."

JJ leaves one last kiss on the side of my face before getting up. "I'm gonna fucking kill them."I hear him growl before he and the boys move further into the house. Kie cleans up all my wounds and takes care of the cuts that I had on my face.

"Get some rest okay?" She smiles a sad smile at me.

"Thanks, Kie." I mumbled before drifting off.

. . . . . .

I shiver, the sudden cold air that hits my exposed skin forces my eyes open, waking me up from my slumber. The living room is dark, not a single person is here except me. I try to lift my body into a seating position, and a sharp but lighter pain spreads around my stomach and back causing me to whine.

I hear a groan from my left and I turn to find JJ's sleeping body laying on the floor. His closed eyes twitch before opening. It takes a few seconds for him to react but when he sees me awake his body shoots up, hands stretching towards my body.

"Y/n," He breathes. "hey."

I rub my eyes with the back of my hands. "What time is it?"

"Um," His hands fumble with his phone. "It's almost 3 am. You fell asleep"

"Hmm," I hum, lifting myself into a seating position. "My parents-"

"Kiara texted them from your phone that you're gonna stay at hers tonight." He says. "Take it easy." He touches my back softly. A sad expression overtakes his face when he sees me struggling to straighten my back.

"Y/n.." He shakes his head and I know exactly what he's going to say.

"It's okay, it's fine." I reassure him. JJ tends to hold a lot of guilt inside. He thinks that he's responsible for anything that happens. It seems like he holds the weight of the world on his shoulders when there's really no need.

"No, it's not." He shakes his hand repeatedly. "It's not. I can't stand seeing you hurt because of me. You did nothing wrong, it shouldn't have happened like this." His eyes drop to his hands that are resting on my thighs.

"It's not your fault." I place my hand on top of his.

"But it is. We stole your boat to escape, they saw that. And then I acted like a dick refusing to tell you anything in order to protect you and keep you out of it when in the end it's you who got hurt." His voice is filled with guilt and anger.

"Protect me from what?" I scoff. "What's going on Jay?"

His eyes soften at the nickname but he stays quiet.

"Why don't you trust me?" I mumble, mostly to myself.

"I do trust you." He defends.

"Just not enough right?" I smile a little.

He closes his eyes. "Y/n, you know it's not like that. You know me."

"Apparently I don't JJ." I raise my tone a little. "I mean I thought I did, I wanted to. I was patient and I was understanding. I listened to you and I was there. As much as you would let me at least." I go on, and all the words that I was holding inside come rushing out. "The JJ I know would not talk to me like that, the JJ I know would not disappear for days, the JJ I know would not keep secrets from me."

"Y/n-" He tries to interrupt me.

"No, I get it, I know my place. " I hold a hand up between us. "I know we're not together but I care JJ. " I admit looking at him dead in the eye. His face falls at my words, jaw tightening. "I liked it when you would climb through my window and we would talk for hours about all the things you guys had done that day and I liked it when I would sneak out after midnight and go on bike rides with you. I liked how we would surf together or how we would lay on my rooftop, looking at the stars talking about all the things we want in life. You were the one that was pushing me to join you in all kinds of things, you would always tell me that I was a pogue deep down." Tears threaten to spill but I try to contain them.

"You were the one that pushed me away," He point a finger towards me. "Since day one, since the first day we fucked, you never wanted me."

"JJ," I lift my hands to my hair, struggling to control my anger. "I was trying to protect myself!"

"For what?" He shoots back, his frustration building as well.

"From you!" His shoulders fall. "I wanted you, I've always wanted you but I know you." I sigh, studying his beautiful, blue eyes that are piercing mine. "I know better than to let myself fall and believe that this is more than it is." I say quietly.

He tilts his head, his eyes never leaving mine. "I tried to stay away from you because I couldn't stand to hold you and know that you aren't mine. Every time I would look at your face, I would see nothing but walls. We would have sex and then you would go back to being cold and wanting to be as far away from me as possible and I honestly get it, people like me don't deserve people like you."

I shake my head in disbelief. "How can you say that?"

"Cause it's true." He chuckles sadly. "Look at you and look at me." He motions between us.

"Stop." I close my eyes, unable to stand the way he views himself, I wish he could see how extraordinary he actually is.

"Y/n, I know." His gaze hardens. "But when John B walked through that door with you almost unconscious in his arms. Your body and face brushed and beaten," He twitches his face as if the image brushes through his mind and physically hurts him. "I lost it. My heart dropped. Nothing mattered but making sure that you were okay and holding you in my arms. The thought that something like that had happened to you," He shakes his head, reaching to take my jaw in his hands gently. "I can't fucking stand it. And I swear to you that I will search the whole island for these motherfuckers and I'll fucking kill them for laying a finger on you." He leans forward, his forehead inches away from mine.

A small smile creeps on my lips at his words, my heart warming instantly.

"I'm sorry about what I said the other day, all I wanted was to protect you and I'm sorry for disappearing on you. I'm sorry about all the lying and the secrets and I'm sorry I can't be what you need and deserve." His eyes move all over my face while his thumbs move gently over my cheekbones.

I bite my lip. "JJ, you're all I want. You're more than enough." I say with my whole heart, wanting nothing more than for him to see himself the way I do. "You're the most incredible person I know and it hurts me that don't see it."

"I don't deserve you." He whispers, his lips ghosting over mine. His breath becomes my breath.

"Shut up." I smile crushing my lips to his. It doesn't take more than a second for him to react, moving his mouth against mine, inhaling sharply as if I'm oxygen. I let out a low moan as JJ's lips started nibbling at mine, demanding entrance that I'm all too happy to grant. It's ridiculous how much I've missed him, the taste of his lips is enough to make all the pain disappear. Everything fades away as our tongues collide, teasing and testing each other. My hands travel to his hair, tugging lightly while he holds my waist carefully. I push myself forwards, sucking on his bottom lip before capturing it between my teeth. I can feel him holding back, he digs his fingers into my skin and releases a sharp breath.

"Y/n," He lets out a low groan, breaking the kiss.

My frustration builds more with each second passing, wanting nothing more than to feel his hands on me. I need to feel him. "What?" I breathe out.

"Maybe.." His eyes fall to my swollen lips, his mouth opening. "Maybe we should take it slow, considering what you went through the last few hours."

I shake my head. "No, I want you." I inch forward wanting to taste him again but he doesn't let me.

"Princess, trust me I want nothing more than to throw you on the couch and fuck you senseless while you scream my name for everyone to hear." He tilts his head downwards, his words making my insides hot and causing my thighs to clench together, hoping for some relief. His eyes big and wild, hungrily staring back at mine while I let my hands explore and touch his face, brushing his hair back and down his neck. My burning desire for his touch has overtaken me completely, my stomach tightens just at the thought of all of the things we could do but I know that he's right, my body still feels beaten and heavy.

"You need to rest for tonight." He takes my jaw between his fingers.

"Will you stay with me?" I'm scared that the minute we leave each other, things will go back to how they were, and what I realised after tonight and after what happened is that I don't wanna be without him anymore. I don't want to be scared anymore cause you never know what will happen.

His face breaks into a soft smile. "Lay down."

His arms felt familiar yet foreign. Like I missed the feeling of falling asleep buried in his chest, his scent filling my senses but different like something's changed.

.

.

.

.

The book that I'm reading has been getting less and less interesting with each minute passing. Maybe it's the fact that it's 10:00 pm and I'm laying in my bed, reading on Saturday night, or the fact that he hasn't called me or even texted the whole day. It's been a few days since the incident at the cafe. After we woke up that day JJ drove me back home and explained pretty much everything, about The Royal Merchant, the compass that they found, and how it lead them to the tape recorder that Big John left for his son. I still can't believe some of the things that happened to them and what they discovered. He made me promise that I won't tell a soul, something I would have done even if he hadn't asked. I haven't seen him since, mostly cause my parents have been babying me none stop. I told them what happened at the cafe, twisted around a little the actual truth, and claimed that the 2 men tried to rob the cafe but JJ and John B showed up. I haven't gone to school or done anything in general for the past few days. I've been laying low and have recovered completely but my mind has been stuck on what JJ told me. Through the days I found myself wondering what they were doing and wishing I was with them.

A knock on my widow breaks me out of my thoughts. JJ sends me a small wave. My head snaps to my door, checking if it's closed before running to open the window. He quickly pushes his tall body through the small opening, stumbling a little in the process.

"Hi" he breathes out, standing up straight.

"Hi," I giggle "what are you doing here?" I scan him with my eyes making sure that he's okay and also taking in the sight of him that I've missed so much.

"I wanted to check up on you." He says, running his hands through his hair.

My hands are itching, wanted to reach in and touch him but I don't know if that is too much. Honestly, I don't know where we stand, all I know is that I've missed him.

His eyes move around my face while he tugs his bottom lip between his teeth. My eyes catch the movement. "Come here." He mutters before reaching forward and wrapping his arms around my waist. I bury my face into the curve of his neck, my eyes closing at the feeling of his embrace.

"I missed you." He speaks so quietly that I almost didn't catch it.

I tighten my arms around his neck, silently responding. I missed him too.

"I was worried about you." I say, pulling away slightly.

"About me?" He lifts his brows playfully. "Come on have a little faith in my survival skills princess."

I slap his shoulder lightly, trying to hide my smile. "What happened? Is everyone okay?"

"Yeah, everyone's fine." He brushes me off. "I'll tell you everything but first.." He cups my jaw with his hands and presses his lips to mine. I let out a surprised sound that dies in my throat before moving my lips against his, responding. I feel him smile into the kiss and he opens his mouth slightly, allowing my tongue to slide inside. He hums as our tongues play with each other, letting his hands fall to my waist. He pulls my body closer to his, forcing me to my tiptoes while the kiss gets heavier. The sound of our lips and our heavy breathing fills the room.

"My parents will hear us." I breathe out.

"I don't care." He attacks my lips again, backing me slowly until the back of my knees hit my bed. He breaks the kiss and gives me a light push causing me to fall on the bed. He stares down at me with a smirk slowly dropping his hands to the bottom of his shirt and peeling it off his body. My eyes take him in, his chest and abs on full display. I bite my lip wanting nothing more than to reach out and touch him. He leans down, wrapping his hands around my neck, forcing my head upwards to look at him.

"Don't look at me like that." He drawls out.

I relax my face, staring at him through my lashes. "Like what?"

He pushes me down completely, my back flat against the bed while his legs are spread on each side of my hips.

He gives me a light slap on the cheek but it's enough to make my back arch and my thighs to clench together. "Don't test me, princess, 'cause I don't give a shit about your parents being just across the hall."

My hands find the bottom of my own shirt, pulling it over my head. "I don't give a shit either."

"Fuck." He dives right into my chest, his mouth nibbling and sucking on my exposed skin. My hands go to his hair instantly, guiding him to my breasts. He wastes no time, unclipping my bra and taking one of my nipples in his mouth.

"Mhh," I moan as he circles his tongue around the hardening nub. His hands hold my hips down when I try to find some relief by grinding my hips to his. His lips travel farther down teasingly, dragging his tongue over my stomach and stopping at the top of my pajama pants. His eyes shoot up, the light and hunger in them challenging me. His fingers toy with the fabric, pulling it down slowly, not breaking eye contact while I lift my hips, allowing him to fully take it off. He straightens up, his hands fumbling with his belt with his eyes glued to my panties. His breathing hardens when I open my thighs exposing myself to him.

"You have no idea how I missed you." He groans, pulling his pants down.

I blink at him with a small smile. "How much?"

His eyes darken, looking down at my figure hard. " Let me show you." He pulls me by the thighs to the edge of the bed and kneels down right in front of my core. I inhaled sharply as he wastes no time ripping my panties off of me. His eyes beamed with hunger, taking in the sight of me. He lowers himself just a little, his hot breath fanning my bare pussy causing shivers to spread through my body. He looks up, eyes narrowing playfully using the tip of his tongue to deliver a soft flick over my clit. My legs twitch slightly, which causes him to smile.

"Stay still princess." He pins my hips down again and drags his tongue over my slit. He groans against me, the vibration shooting through me while he wastes no time diving in and moving his tongue at a faster pace. Heat explodes through my veins, my toes curling at the feeling of his wet muscle absolutely devouring me with no hesitation. He sucks and nibbles, drawing and flickering against my sensitive nerves as I whimper shamelessly underneath him. My hand shoots to his hair, head falling back and my back arching when I feel not one but two fingers slotting into my entrance.

"Oh my god, Jay." I rasp out, my palm covering my mouth.

His fingers start moving violently fast inside me, filling the room with pornographic wet sounds as the heat on my lower stomach builds embarrassingly fast. "Fuck baby, you're so wet." He groans against me before moving his thumb to cover my clit, rubbing circles in a fast motion.

His mouth attaches to my neck, taking the soft skin between his lips. "I want you to come on my fingers baby can you do that for me?" He whispers in my ear.

My body lifts off the mattress, feeling myself climbing higher and higher. "I-I'm gonna-" The words die in my throat as a giant wave of unexpected pleasure crashes over me, my eyes roll all the way back to my head, my mind going completely numb as his fingers keep up the pace allowing me to ride it out.

"That's it, baby," He mumbles against my neck. I close my eyes, still feeling the tingling sensation lingering in my belly. He pulls his fingers out, the aftermath of my orgasm dripping to his palm. He wraps his swollen lips around them, testing me while piercing me with his blue eyes.

He moans lightly. "The taste of you is incredible."

"Can I have a taste?" I nod down to his visibly hard member, that's fighting against the fabric of his boxers as he straightens his back, towering over me. My mouth watering at the thought, hands inching to fill the weight of his throbbing cock against them.

A low chuckle escapes him. "I would die to feel those pretty lips around my dick," He takes my jaw between his fingers. "But there's something I want more right now." He captures his bottom lip between his teeth, reaching to pull his boxers down. His dick shoots up free hitting his stomach, my eyes flicker to the tip, red and swollen with drops of precum coating it already. He pulls the drawer of my nightstand open, grabs a condom from the ones that he left a few weeks back, and quickly rolls it over his dick. He takes both of my wrists in his hands before I have any time to touch him and slams me back down on the bed.

He pins my hands over my head. "Your hands stay there."

I nod, trying to stop the grin of excitement that's forming on my lips. The feeling of need and frustration that only he can make me feel and that I've missed so much overtakes me as he lines his dick in my entrance. His tip brushes over my clit, opening my folds before pushing in slowly.  His forehead falls on mine and we both gasp as he fills me up entirely.

"Shit, princess." He hisses when I nod my head and give him the green light to move which he wastes no time doing. He pulls out all the way before slamming back in, filling me up again with such a powerful push that it causes me to gasp out loud. His hips find a rhythm in no time, attacking me with sharp, deep thrusts that make my breasts bounce almost painfully. His forceful movements draw all kinds of sounds out of me while everything begins to fade. My ears fill with the sound of my own heartbeat and his low moans and grunts as he pushes in and out of me, stretching me out with the size of his cock. I fight to keep my eyes open, only being able to focus on his beautiful face, that's overtaken by a mesmerizing fucked out expression. His eyebrows are drawn together, drops of sweat coating his forehead while his mouth hangs slightly open. He looks breathtaking as he fucks me senseless, reminding me with each thrust that in reality, he's all I want. His hands reach for the back of my right thigh, lifting it a little gaining access to a better angle that allows him to thrust deeper. My eyes roll back, unable to contain the pleasure that shoots from my core, my hands fly to his back, nails dining to the soft flesh, earning a deep grunt from him.

"You're doing so well baby, look at you taking my dick like a good girl." He grabs my neck with his free hands, his pace quickening making the knot in my stomach tighten. I dig my nails deeper, hands tugging his hair while both of our bodies dripping with sweat but I don't care about anything except my second orgasm that approaches.

"Are you gonna come for me again princess?" He teases me, feeling my walls tighten against him. "Tell me how good it feels, and maybe I'll let you come." He demands, tilting his head downwards and tightening his grip around my neck.

I can feel my wall throbbing, tightening painfully around his dick trying to keep him inside as heat begins to spread in my belly. "It feels so good Jay, so fucking good please baby don't stop." My dignity dissolves as tears start to form at the corners of my eyes.

"Tell me I'm the only one you want." His thrusts being to get sloppy, signalling that his own high is approaching. His eyes are wild, and everything starts to feel overwhelming.

"Y-you're the only one, I only want you." I confess, my tone desperate and begging.

He connects our foreheads again, hand dropping to my clit and with a single flick of his finger, I'm over the edge. My back arches, black spots fill my vision, and an almost euphoric feeling pulses through my veins. My brain and body are overtaken with pleasure and I keep my eyes shut as JJ's orgasm hits him just as hard.

"Fuck, fuck, fuck." He buries his face in the curve of my neck, letting his low groans fill my ear. I let him ride it out, ignoring the over-sensitivity that I start to feel. His body freezes for a few seconds as he releases into the condom before collapsing on top of me. I feel his heart drumming in his chest while he tries to control his breathing. I'm still in a state of bliss, ears still ringing and heart still beating fast. We stay like this for a good minute, our sweaty bodies touching and our fast breathing filling the air until he decides to lift himself off me and fall to the side.

Silence overtakes us, letting everything that just happened sink in. He pops himself on his elbow, head resting on his hand as he looks down at me with soft eyes. His hair going in every possible direction, his lips swollen and his neck covered in marks I don't remember making.

I smile at the sight of him.

"What?" His breathing is still uneven.

"You're pretty." I think out loud.

His eyes shift, lips curving upwards. "I love you, Y/n."

The raw emotion is visible as he speaks the words, causing my heart to stop for a split second. The words I desperately wanted to hear and desperately wanted to say for so long. The skin of my cheeks tingled but I say nothing, still processing what he just said.

His face breaks into a smile, unphased by my silence. "Fuck, I wanted to say that for so long." He lets out a breath of relief, pushing his hair back.

I've dreamt about this moment, never actually believing that it'll happen, thinking that just a hookup was all that I would ever be for JJ.

I stare deep into his ocean eyes. "I love you too JJ." I speak the easiest truth I've ever had to say out loud.

His smile grows more, overtaking his whole face and causing his eyes to almost close. I reach over throwing a hand around his neck and kissing him like I've never had before. We both smile into the kiss and giggles fill the air.

"I'm in love with you." He says again, against my lips.

His phone interrupts our moment before I have the chance to say it back again.

He sighs, reaching towards the floor to retrieve it from the pocket of his pants.

"What?" He picks up, keeping his eyes on me. His face drops, eyebrows coming together. "Slow down, slow down." His gaze shifts and I lift myself to a seating position, quickly throwing my shirt on. "Okay, I'm coming got it." His body almost bounces as he paces back and forth, his free hand moving fanatically until he stops right in front of me, ending the call.

His eyes light up and a challenging smile tugs at his lips.

"What?" I ask, completely lost.

"Wanna join me on a treasure hunt princess?" He grins.

"What do you mean?" My face twitches with confusion.

"John B needs me, they found something." He begins to get dressed.

"And what? You want me to join you guys?" I can't help the excitement that spreads over my face. "What do you mean?"

"The guys are waiting for us at Kie's place." He stands up straight, all dressed and ready with his hands resting on his hips. "That's the reason I came here." He bites his bottom lip, trying to contain his smile. "To get you. They guys are okay with it, especially with everything happening with Sarah and John B. " He waves his hands around.

I frown." What's going on with Sara and John B?"

He shakes his head, reaching for my waist. "I'll explain on the way. Are you in or not?"

I look into his eyes, the deepest shade of blue I've ever seen. The eyes that I've fallen so hard for and I would do anything for. The eyes that are now silently inviting me, challenging me, and making my heart beat faster. All my life I wanted nothing more than to be like them, to feel what it's like to live life their way, and even though what happened was the scariest thing I've ever experienced I can't help but give him a small nod.

His teeth make an appearance before he takes my face in his hands, planting a kiss on my lips. "Get dressed then baby, the gold is waiting." He smirks.

I smile against his lips. I guess my mom was right; the choice is pretty easy if you follow your heart.

[httpscomexe]

Muzzle

Summary: Barnes figures out how to shut you up and end your sarcastic comments, and you’re sure he’ll use it against you in the future.

(Find what I'm currently writing by checking my pinned post)

Parings: Bucky x Reader

Warnings: (My English can be kinda bad) Bad language, weapons, violence, attempted smut. There will be individual warnings every chapter.

Tags: @scott-loki-barnes @cjand10

Word Count: 2522 (Find all chapters here) Discontinued

Okay, so what if you accidentally brainwashed the Winter Soldier? You wouldn’t have even known you had done that unless he told you. You didn’t know he would be absolutely obsessed with you, you didn’t know he was stalking you, and you definitely didn’t expect him to want YOU of all people. You’ve read the news lately, and you’ve watched it too of course, you weren’t a weirdo, you’re living in the 21st century after all. But you expected him to stalk someone more like him or someone who isn’t just a normal civilian, or at least everyone thought you were a normal citizen.

“So be honest.” He tells you as he sits next to you on the couch. “You told me your real name, which is Y/N. Then you told me your friends call you ‘Bee.’ Why do they call you that?”

“I told you why.”

“Well after staying with you for the last 8 hours, I’m starting to think that they don’t call you that just because you’re happy. I haven’t seen you smile once.”

“Well also my friends don’t call me that, it’s more like the people I don’t like.”

“Yea?”

“Yea, and it's not Bee, it’s The Black Bee.” You sigh. “It’s a stupid name, it’s meant to be said in Russian but the damned Avengers keep saying it in English, it’s lame.”

“You… are the Chernaya Pchela?” He asks you in disbelief. “I don’t believe you.”

“Why is that hard to believe?”

“Look at you…” He nods his head towards you while you take a big scoop of the jell-o you had been slurping up this entire conversation.

“Hey if you’re gonna try and make a point, do it while I’m doing something cool.” You tell him sarcastically.

“That's besides the point.”

“Not for me.”

“There’s no way you’re one of the Avengers' threats.”

“Oh come on, look at you.” You nod towards him this time, his lap was covered by the fluffy My Little Pony blanket that he found folded in your closet.

“The difference between me and you is you’re a threat, I’m an asset.”

“Same difference.”

“No, because I’m important to them, while you on the other hand, they’re just annoyed by you.”

“They’re also interested in me.”

“They are not.”

“They are because I have more knowledge in nanotech than my dad does.”

“And who's your dad?”

“Now that? That’s besides the point.” You tell him, pointing your spoon at him. “Besides, they don’t know my identity, or at least not the identity behind the mask.”

“Well clearly they do if they took you from your dorm and locked you in the tower for a week.”

“No, they did that because they think I control you.”

“And you do.”

“Don’t tell them that.”

“Why not?”

“Because I don’t even know how to brainwash you.” You raise your voice a little.

“I can show you.”

“I’d rather stay in the dark. You should know how peaceful the dark is.” You mumble the last part, but he obviously hears it as you witness his head shake in annoyance.

“You are… in control of me.”

“Oh really?”

“Yes.”

“Then get the fuck out of my dorm.”

“No.”

“That’s what I thought.” You say with pride as you turn away and hear him groaning behind you, a quiet “Whatever” leaving his lips. “So are you gonna get out? Why are you still here?”

“I feel like I should be.”

“I swear to God, if you start babbling about destiny and fate and all that crap then you need to go across the hall to Jada, she’s the one with all the little rocks that she claims gives her emotional stability.” His stomach moves in a way that makes your cheeks heat up as he chuckles and stands up from the couch.

“Listen. I think something is going on-”

“Yea I’ve got the Winter Soldier in my dorm and he won’t leave.”

“Y/N.” He dares, stepping closer to you, close enough for you to be able to smell the soap off his hair from the shower he’d taken earlier. “Say one more fucking sarcastic remark and I’ll make you regret it.” He grits his teeth and you watch as his hands clenched into fists. You go quiet, but the outside doesn’t.

You both turn your heads as you hear multiple engines pull into the schools parking lot, and you would look out your window, but that dumbass tree is in the view.

“Let’s go, I’m sure they’re looking for you.” Barnes walks past you and towards your door.

“Wait.” You tell him, then you run to the side of your bed before getting down on your knees and pulling a large bag out from under your bed which you throw over your shoulders.

“Extra weight.”

“It’s important.” You tell him as you leave the room and head to the right.

“There she is!” You pause, and about five men run in your direction.

“Those aren’t S.H.I.E.L.D agents.” You spit out before turning in the opposite direction, and you could hear the Winter Soldiers footsteps following close behind you.

“They’ll be all over outside, we can’t just go downstairs!” He shouts as you both continue your run down the hall.

“Who said we were going down?” You shout back as a tranq dart zooms past you, grazing your arm as you reach for the doorknob of the stairs, swinging it open and quickly running up the stairs, not stopping until you were on the roof level, and you could hear more men as they all began to chase you both up.

“Stop running or we will be forced to sedate you Ms. Stark and Mr. Barnes!” One of the men yells from about two stories beneath you, and you finally reach the door to the roof which Barnes quickly kicks open before you slam it back behind you both and lock it from the outside.

“Okay we have probably like two minutes before they figure out the key is hanging on the wall next to the door.” You tell Barnes as you remove your bag and throw it to the floor.

“Can’t be that important if you’re just gonna fucking throw it to the floor-” His voice stops in his throat as you tap away at your watch and the bag quickly takes form into a motorcycle. “I’m driving.” He says quickly as he approaches the bike.

“What? No! This is my bike! Find your own!” You yell and get in front of him, but a gasp leaves your lips as his hand suddenly wraps around your throat in a warning, no words spoken. “Got it, you’re driving.” You choke out before you both get on the bike, and he wastes no time in turning it around and driving it straight towards the edge of the building.

“Hold on tight!” He shouts.

“I’m not touching you!” You shout back, then the front wheel leaves solid ground, then the back wheel as you both become airborne, the bike flying through the air for barely five second before it started falling, just barely missing the security fence as the wheels hit the sidewalk outside of the school and you watch as Hydra agents fill their cars while Barnes quickly continues his escape, the bike moving much faster than Hydras cars and trucks as he turns the bike to zip through traffick.

All was fine until you heard the unmistakable sound of more fucking motorcycles. It was all happening in a movie, hell you were surprised you two didn’t fall in slow motion from the building.

You turn on the motorcycle, your back to Barnes’ back as you reach down and unclasp two pistols that were concealed on the bike, and you aim them up, shooting without aiming, not that it would be easy to aim while Barnes takes every possible turn and twist he possibly could.

“Damn it could you hold still!” You shout, missing one of the agents but still accidentally hitting another.

“Oh yea sorry let me just slow the fuck down so they can kill us!”

“They’re not gonna kill us you moron, they wanna enslave us, theres a difference!”

“Not to my conscience!” He yells just before taking another turn, the ride becomes bumpy as he takes your motorcycle down a long ass flight of stairs, stopping the car chase, but some motorcycles still don’t give in as you watch a few bad drivers fall off their bikes, leaving only a few more to take care of.

“They’re really persistent!”

“You fucking think?!” He leans forward as you turn back around on the bike. “Now you should really hold on!”

“Why?” You ask, and look ahead. This moron. “NO! I just painted this fucking bike!”

“Yea and you went with fucking pink!” He yells back before you both once again go airborne. Time actually felt like it had stopped as the wheels left the ground and you felt weightless, like your organs were made of helium as some little birds left the leaves of the trees under you. You weren’t sure what his plan was. Jumping off a bridge and over nature to escape some motorcyclists who by the way, were completely set on NOT following you. As a matter of fact, if you had the choice, you probably would’ve chosen to go with Hydra, rather than jumping off a bridge, or what seemed like a cliff, with no clear escape plan, or at least parachute.

“Open your eyes!” Ezekiel yells in your face, his spit getting on your skin. “You’re nothing to me! You’re nothing, you hear me!” His voice is distant, like it’s all in your head. It felt like it all was, and every child and parent wouldn’t wish it upon the world what happened to you. It was like a horror film, tortured everyday. Tortured until there was nothing to torture you about. “It stings! It hurts so bad papa!” You scream, crying to the man you had called your father. “I don’t care! Just open your fucking eyes! You useless piece of shit!” He yells even louder, grabbing your face and pushing your little head against the wall. “Now open you fucking eyes before I make you, you little shit!”

“Open your eyes!”

“Open them!”

“Open your eyes…”

“Wake up!”

“Wake up damnit…” Was the first thing you heard as you snapped out of your head, and you immediately gasp for air, feeling like you’d been drawing underwater. You quickly sit up, and scoot back until your back collides with something, you turn around to see a tree and turn back around to see Barnes crouched down at your level and staring into your eyes.

“What the fuck were you thinking!” You scream, some birds flying away as they hear your voice and you stand up to approach him angrily but quickly lose your balance, stumbling right onto him.

“Woah there…” He says softly, you’d be lying if you said it wasn’t music to your ears hearing him speak to you like that. “What are you talking about?” He gently holds you by your arms.

“Riding off a cliff on my bike! Where is my bike?” You look around frantically, and your eyes land on a heap of pink metal that was once your bike.

“You can replace it-”

“My bike!” You shout, making a slow jog towards it. It was completely ruined.

Beyond fucking repair. “Oh come on, I worked so fucking hard on this…” You mumble to yourself, hoping you could at least find the chip that brings the whole thing together, and your eyes lighten up when you spot the little square which you immediately snatch up and shove into your pockets, which you quickly zip up. You could deal with it later, but right now… “God you’re an absolute imbecile!” You yell at him, stomping towards where he was now standing.

“Calm down…”

“Calm down!? How am I supposed to calm down? You just jumped off a cliff-”

“A bridge.”

“You’re so-” You twist your tongue trying to find the right words. “So-” He steps closer and you lower your tone. “So…”

“So?”

You groan, slumping your shoulders and not knowing what to say. You knew you wouldn’t be able to offend him anyways.

“Listen.” He says gently. “All that matters is that you’re alright.”

“My bike…” You mumble.

“Y/N, forget about the bike.” He warns.

“My bike!”

“I’m just about done with your attitude…” He grits his teeth, and gets up in your face, backing you up against a tree. “One more fucking word and I swear I-”

“Bite me.”

“Is that a promise, doll?” He gently places his index finger under your chin, and lifts your face so your eyes are level with his. “Cause with that fucking attitude you won’t let up, I’m starting to think that’s the only thing that’ll get you to shut the fuck up.” He begins to grip your chin between his thumb and index finger. “So I think I might just have to take up on your offer for once…” He tells you, getting impossibly closer as he presses his body against you. “I’ve tried for way too long to hold back, I can’t do it anymore…” He grumbles before his lips crash onto yours and only then do you realise you haven’t said a word to him since he’s starting speaking.

His lips move softly against yours, his tongue licking your lips as he tries to get closer to you. His hands move from your face down to your waist and you feel the coldness on your waist as his left hand moves up your shirt. “So it's been this easy the entire time…?” He asks rhetorically, leaning in closer to you as his lips find the skin on your neck as you open your mouth to protest but you simply moan, your actions defying your thoughts as you rock your hips against him. “Careful there princess…” He whispers in your ear, his breath fanning your skin as you feel his hand reach around you, grasping your ass and lifting you gently, holding you between his body and a tree, his erection pressing against your centre through his jeans and your shorts.

“Please…”

“What’s that?” He trails his lips up from your neck to your lips, his hands moving to slowly undo your pants.

“Please… I…” You pause, regretting what you say before it even comes out of your mouth. “I need you…” You moan as he grinds against you, slowly.

“You want me?” He breathes out.

“Yes… Please…”

“Well… that’s too bad…” Whispers in your ear, then gently puts you back down on your feet. “We should get going, I’m sure they’ve been searching for us all day.” He groans like an old man as he reaches down and picks up one of his weapons. “We can’t stay in one place for too long, now can we?”

He continues walking away and you awkwardly find yourself buttoning your pants back up and following behind him.

What the fuck was that…?

[quibbs126]

Oh yeah, so I’ve been actually coloring my stylized versions. This is just what I have so far on the page, but I still felt like sharing

First we have Dark Cacao and Choco, obviously, since they were what started it and they’re my faves

I feel like I should mention, I said previously that they were gonna be monochromatic, specifically greyscale, with the eyes (and probably gems) being the only pop of color. I did that, and then sent it to a Discord group I’m in, but then someone there told me “hey maybe don’t color them as grey”. To be fully honest, I’m still not entirely sure why (note that I’m white and also tend to live under a rock when it comes to real world stuff), but I do vaguely recall some people being upset that Fettuccine when she came out had a somewhat grey dough color, so I assume there’s some sort of negative connotation around coloring black people with grey skin. Yeah I’d say this was a case of me not thinking before I do something, which is pretty common for me tbh. So I decided to instead make their colors purple and red monochromatic (outside of the hair), and that person on Discord said it looked a lot better

I probably didn’t need to tell you all that, I could have just said I decided to make them purple and red and avoided saying that I did that, but I don’t know, I felt like I should? I don’t like being dishonest (unless it’s my parents)

Also Dark Cacao and Choco’s eyes are white as a partial reference to the Shadow Milk puppets

Anyways, so on to Golden Cheese and Black Raisin

I mostly drew them because on Twitter, there’s someone who ships the two of them and she’s been liking my art, so I thought to draw them. Well I was already drawing Golden Cheese, but I drew Black Raisin too because of that

They’re triangles because birds, and also because Golden Cheese has the triangle Soul Jam

To be perfectly honest, I feel like Golden Cheese didn’t turn out that well. Or at the very least, she looked better in the rough sketches. Maybe it’s because I don’t draw her that much

Golden Cheese was the one I probably took the most liberties with design wise, but color wise she stayed mostly the same. It’s mostly because how her face is drawn, meaning you only see one side of it, and her colors kind of just work as is with the stylization

Golden Cheese is probably going to be the only Ancient to keep her normal dough color, other than maybe Pure Vanilla

Black Raisin turned out better I think. She has sharper angles mostly because I didn’t realize until later that I should make GC sharper, but it didn’t look right. And also I think it fits with Black Raisin’s character to be sharper

Black Raisin has a lot less colors, mostly because I didn’t think she needs that many, she’s relatively simple color wise

Sorry I’m in class right now, and I’m only half paying attention to this post. I think I’ve got most everything down, so I’ll just post now

[moreespressoformydepresso]

What are your honest thoughts on all Descendants boys? From both books and movies?

Oehh that’s a good question! I’ll base most of this off of the movies because I remember them more clearly. Sorry this is so late, I needed some time to sort out my thoughts. Let’s see:

Ben: cutie, golden retriever energy, needs to grow a bit more of a spine but as a recovering doormat I vibe with him.

He’s got a good heart, and he’s definitely going places, but I have no idea who decided a 16-year-old should be king. Hilariously, he’s a better king than his dad because he cares about all of his people, not just the “heroes”. But still, he’s 16, let him have his dumbass teenage years. He’s still in his phase of wanting to please everyone and that isn’t gonna lead to the best decision making. You’re king, Ben, you can overrule your girlfriend’s selfish idiotic plan of closing the barrier. Just tell her “the barrier was opened for you to come through too. If those kids aren’t worth the risk, does that mean you aren’t either? Should we throw you back?!” And she’s change her tune real fast. You gotta give some tough love sometimes.

Jay: cool, I wanna know his gym routine, pretty funny but rash, needs Carlos to temper his brand of crazy (love their bromance).

I love the narrative parallels to the movie Aladdin. Jafar thought himself so far above a street rat and now he’s raised his son to be one so he can continue being a con-man. In the movies, Jay is actually a very accurate representation of your upbringing shaping you into who you are. All Jay knows is stealing, he’s never been taught to pay if he doesn’t have to, so to him stealing’s perfectly fine. It’s normal. It’s a lot more subtle than the whole “who doesn’t like being evil” bit, but the core idea is the same: when all you’ve ever known is one perspective, that’s gonna feel like the objective truth because you’ve never had a chance to try a different one.

Carlos De Vil: Best (movie) Boy, my baby, I love him. What a little nerd (affectionate).

He’s a big part of why I willfully ignore the absolute stupidity that is the third movie’s ending. I’m sorry Mal, wtf is wrong with you??? You set your supposed friend’s abuser free for nothing but some empty platitudes and dare suggest you’ve become an empathetic person?!?! In the books, we get a lot more insight into just how horrible of a mother Cruella is, but even in the movies we see he’s had it bad because of how jumpy and nervous he is. Disney is still Disney so we don’t get much of the healing process, but we see how he calms down and adjusts to a normal life over the course of the movies when he’s out of the bad situation, which is pretty good by Disney standards. Cameron Boyce did an amazing job playing him (R.I.P Cameron) and seeing an abuse victim get comfortable within their own skin and getting the happy ending they deserve is always fun.

Harry Hook: Insane (affectionate), most fashionable drama queen ever, absolutely crazy, more than a few screws loose but in the best way possible, he’s hilarious.

So on the surface, Harry’s pretty simple. A dude who’s lost his marbles and flirts with everyone. He probably has some kind of moral compass, since he didn’t rip Mal’s throat out with his hook when she revealed her little stunt in D3, but it fell overboard at some point and couldn’t be found so nobody knows what it is except Harry himself. Also, he has his sane moments, like during that same confrontation in D3 I mentioned before where he says “And you, King Benny... you're probably gonna throw us all back inside.” It’s the first time I’ve heard him sound… not like Harry. It’s sombre and defeated, a little disappointed maybe? Either way it’s really good acting and it implies he can act completely “normal” but he just chooses not to, which makes me like him even more. He’s just a dude living his best life despite the circumstances he was born into.

Gil: adorable, hilarious, kinda clueless but in a good way.

I love characters that have no idea what’s going on half the time but are absolute sweethearts trying their best. He’s like- the opposite of his dad in every way and I’m living for it!

Gaston Jr and Gaston the third: I don’t have much to say on them, let alone separately, so they get a section together.

Honestly? I don’t remember having an opinion of them. They made Evie happy by wresting, which is cool so they get points for that. Seem like they’re trying to out-gentleman each other to win Evie’s heart and since they’re not being creepy assholes about it they are objectively better than their dad. Very much brawl over brains, the two of them, with their constant wrestling reminding me of Carlos and Jay except they’re both the muscle. Kinda cute sibling relationship, even if it’s in a VK-typical villain-flavored way.

Anthony Tremaine: squeeeee, my type is pretty boys who sigh in annoyance at everything, I guess? We only get scraps but I happily cradle them to my chest.

Uhmmm so Anthony’s personality is mostly up for imagination? The only canon information we have is that he’s most likely Anastasia’s only kid (someone on Tumblr pointed out that, in the scene with the wicked step-daughters, he’s referred to only as their cousin, not their brother) and he’s very bored with his cousins’ antics. Given A Twist In Time the potential drama is endless. Every time Anthony’s mentioned we’re reminded he’s pretty and has good style, and I love that for him. Dude lives on an isle of junk and still looks like a supermodel. Lots of room for my own ideas while still remaining within the realm of “could be canon” with just enough base in there that I’m not just creating an OC, and as a writer and artist that’s all I need tbh.

Hadie: cute, deserves better, I need more of him and Mal bonding

Mal’s half-brother, son of Hades, very cool. I like that he’s trying to turn good and having a hard time, because that’s very realistic for someone who grew up not knowing anything other than evil. Descendants 2 tried to tackle it with Mal, but failed miserably. We know Hades sucks as a parent in descendants (neglect is abuse) so that’s not gonna help him.

Dough: Awww he’s so cute with Evie 🥺

No really that’s it. He’s a nerd that gets the girl, has some very funny moments, but honestly most of his character is centered around Evie? And they’re cute together it’s not a bad thing but there isn’t much to analyze. He’s understandably pissed about someone like Chad getting all the girls while using them, but that’s also only ever seen in relation to Evie.

Chad Charming: what a bitch (derogatory), total coward, I hate him but he’s funny.

So I have no issue with characters who conduct themselves terribly (I love Audrey, (fanon) Anthony, Uma, and many others from many fandoms) if, and that’s a massive IF, they have a good reason for it. And I’ll count “because I can and I want to” as a good reason, because by that point you have someone who’s mean and owns it. I can appreciate the self-awareness and usually those characters are very extra so it’s entertaining. If not that, there needs to be a reason they are the way they are. Audrey has the pressure from her grandmother (and the borderline verbal abuse), Uma has the very real grievance of living in squalor on a run-down island full of the worst of humanity because she was born, what does Chad have? He’s spoiled. A spoiled brat. And he goes from that to an overtly whimpering coward with none of the pretense of superiority in any field. His one saving grace is that he’s a massive joke.

Diego De Vil, Clay Clayton, Gonzo, Jace and Harry Badun, Herkie, Aziz, Jonas, Lefou Deux, Li Shang Jr, everyone else I missed: no opinion, because they’re not relevant enough for the writers to give them a personality.

I have nothing I’m sorry. I barely remember reading their names and I don’t remember anything from the scenes they’re (mentioned) in to get an idea of what to talk about here.

That was… a lot lmao

[so-long-soldier-writes]

drabble #1 - shots

kol mikaelson x reader

summary: of all the places for your secret crush to be revealed, of course it's at a loud, unruly bar. and, of course, your crush overhears everything you say about him.

tags: alcohol, drinking games, secret crush, minor steroline

word count: 953

For the last three hours, you and Caroline have been in the grill, getting drunker by the minute. An innocent game of rating people who walked through the door quickly became a less-than-innocent game of electing how many shots it would take to kiss said people. Then, of course, things took a turn when instead of asking about strangers, the questions came about friends. Now, you’re in a full fledged, back-and-forth, public game of how many shots it would take to kiss your friends. 

“How many shots to kiss Matt?” You ask.

“Considering I’ve already kissed him, probably none. The embarrassment is already gone. Been there, done that. Now, how many shots would it take you to kiss Jeremy?”

“Girl, like ten, to get over the fact that I’m kissing Elena’s little brother. I mean, he’s good-looking enough, but oh my god.”

“True. Okay, your turn.”

“Hmmm… oh, this is a good one. John Gilbert.”

Caroline chokes on her tequila shot. “That is not a friend!”

“I’m branching out.”

“Like, a thousand!”

You erupt in a fit of laughter, “same. Straight alcohol poisoning.” 

“How many to kiss… Alaric?”

“Saltzman? Seriously?”

“Mhm. And give a real number. Be honest.”

“Ugh. Well he’s not unattractive, but he’s also our teacher, Care. Ummm… sixteen.”

“Very specific.”

“I thought about it thoroughly.”

“Clearly.”

“Okay. How many to sleep with-”

“When did this turn into ‘sleep with’?! I thought we were kissing!”

“Shut up,” you giggle, “how many to sleep with Stefan?”

Caroline goes quiet immediately. She starts counting on her fingers. “Six. Because we’re kinda friends, but not super close. And he’s also Elena’s ex, and Damon’s brother, so that makes things a little weird.”

“Really?”

“What would you say?”

“I’m not sure, actually.”

“Alright then.” She looks around the restaurant for a minute. In a split second, her eyes land on someone, then bounce off immediately. When she turns back to you, she’s smirking. “How many would it take for you to sleep with Kol Mikaelson?”

On a normal day, you’d blush red and refuse to answer. But tonight, you’re too drunk to remember you have to hide your crush on the man. “Two. Both solely for confidence.”

Her jaw drops, “Y/N!”

“What?!”

“You’d sleep with him barely drunk? Not even drunk, like slightly tipsy?”

“Girl, I’d sleep with him sober, I just need the confidence boost.” You shift in your seat as she says nothing. “I know you feel the same way about Stefan, so don’t come at me!”

“I said six!”

“I know you’d do less, given the chance!”

“Y/N!”

“What?! He’s hot,” you mutter, “and I like a bad boy.”

“You’re crazy,” she laughs, “we’re gonna need another bottle for this. I’ll be right back.” She saunters off towards the bar, still shocked, but also giggling, about your truthful answer. 

“Might take me a shot of confidence, too, darling. To match your boldness.” A voice comes from your left. You whip around to find its owner, just to come face-to-face with Kol himself. 

Your face pales.

“Aw, come on, don’t get shy on me now.”

“Did- did you?”

“Hear you? Definitely. Vampire hearing, darling. Plus, girls get louder when they’re drunk.” He smiles. “But not to worry, I’m flattered it would only take a couple confidence shots to sleep with me. Say, we can make that a reality. I’ll admit, the reason I come to this bar every night with my brother is on the off-chance that you’d be here. Looks like I came on the perfect night.”

“You look for me?” You stutter on your words.

“Not in a creepy way, but like an ‘I need to know you’ way. Seems to me that you’d like to know me better too, if it’s not so outlandish of me to suggest.”

“No, not at all.”

“Sounds lovely. Meet you at seven, here, tomorrow night?” 

“I’d love to.”

“Perfect, then.” He takes your hand and kisses it. “See you then, darling.”

He leaves with enough time to spare so that Caroline doesn’t cross his path.

“I nearly had to fight Matt for the bottle. He tried to say we’re too drunk. But- why are you blushing?”

“I’m not blushing.”

“You totally are.”

“I am not.”

“Y/N!”

“Fine! I might be!”

“Why? What happened? Spill!”

“Our conversation may have been overheard.”

“Oh no! By whom?! Not Stefan, right? I would die.”

You bite your lip, “nope, Kol.”

“Mikaelson?!” You nod, and her eyes go wide. “What did he say?!”

“Invited me out on a date,” you try to not squeal in excitement, “tomorrow at seven.”

“And you’re going?!”

“Of course. I did say I’d sleep with him, right?”

“Oh my god, is he the secret crush you have that you wouldn’t tell me about earlier?”

“Quite possibly.”

“Y/N!”

“I can’t help it, he’s hot!”

“He’s going to eat you alive.”

“Not if I eat him first,” you say, wetting your lips. 

“Oh my god, girl, you’re crazy!”

“Don’t worry, I’ll keep an eye out for your guy to set you up,” you snicker, “then we can both date our secret crushes, and sleep with them with minimal shots taken.”

“I do not have a crush on Stefan.”

“I didn’t say Stefan.”

She pales, knowing she’s caught. “You’re so bad!”

“Bad? Or going after what I want? Come on, Care, join the dark side. You know you want to.”

“Mmmmm… you better tell me how that date goes tomorrow.”

“Oh I will.”

“Now,” she puts on a fake serious face, “how many shots to sleep with Damon, if he wasn’t a dick?”

You snort, “I don’t care how less dickish he is. If I already have Kol, I don’t want anyone else.”

[detective-inspector-her]

So y'all remember this?

Vile, staring at Valkyrie in a cage: …Why is she in a cage? Mevolent: Because she growled at me.

Vile: How does that even work? Valkyrie, mocking them: hOw dO yOu UsE a cOmPUteR aNd KnOw wHaTS GoiNg oN iT DoEsNt mAke SeNSe?! Vile: Your face doesnt make sense.

Baron: If Mevolent is really a vampire, those wooden stakes will kill him! Valkyrie: But if they’re not a vampire, those wooden stakes will kill him!

Valkyrie: Prepare to feel really bad about yourself. Baron: I’ve been prepared for that my entire life. Valkyrie: Baron: Or something mean about you.

Baron: Alright Vile, Serpine. Let's go over this one more time. Baron: If something breaks? Vile: We try to fix it before Mevolent returns. Baron: If it doesn't work? Serpine: We blame the girl. Valkyrie: Seriously guys, what the hell?!

Serpine: Well, it rained today, but as a whole it's been warmer than it was last week. Valkyrie: Why does it seem like every time you talk to us, you end up talking about the weather? Is your life so unimaginably dull that you can't think of any events in your life to describe that might be more interesting than the weather? Let's think of something for you to talk about other than the weather. I mean, we barely even know anything about you, other than where you live. Valkyrie: Let's start there. What do you do for a living? Serpine: I'm a general.

Vile: What’s your greatest weakness? Serpine: Interpreting the semantics of a question, but ignoring the pragmatics. Vile: Could you give an example? Serpine: Yes, I could.

Valkyrie: I may be stupid. The generals: … Valkyrie: Oh, did you think I was going to finish that sentence?

Vile: I wasn’t that out of it. Valkyrie: You coloured my face with a highlighter because you said I was important. Vile: BECAUSE YOU ARE!

Valkyrie: I made this friendship bracelet for you. Vile: You know, I’m not really a jewelry person. Valkyrie: You don’t have to wear… Vile: No, I’m gonna wear it forever. Back off.

Mevolent: My only talent is being stress. Valkyrie: Don't you mean stressed? Mevolent: No.

Baron: Guess what number I’m thinking of. Serpine: 420? Baron: No, that’s really immature of you. Someone else guess, and please take this seriously. Valkyrie: 69. Baron: Yeah it was 69.

Serpine: I came out here to attack people and I'm honestly having such a good time right now.

Valkyrie: I typed "bitch" into my GPS and guess what? I'm in your driveway. Serpine: Valkyrie: Vroom vroom, come out already.

Valkyrie: I’m quick at math. Baron: Ok, what’s 38 times 76? Valkyrie: 24. Baron: That wasn’t even close. Valkyrie: But it was quick.

Valkyrie: holds a gun out to Baron Baron: I-I don't believe in guns. Valkyrie: Well, trust me, they're very real. Now take it.

Baron: I think Mevolent is in trouble. Valkyrie: Alright. Struggling to give a fuck, if I’m honest.

Vile: Hey, Valkyrie, how are you doing? Valkyrie: I have hit my head three times, I’ve lost my favourite shirt and forgot my bag at school. Vile: Oh, ok! That’s pretty good! Valkyrie: Yup! Vile: I lost my phone and my cat died. Valkyrie: Hey, not bad compared to last week. Vile: I know right! Baron: Are they okay? Serpine: I don’t think they are.

------- This part is set around Playing With Fire 1 is Baron from Dimension X, the other is the normal Baron that even less people remember.

Valkyrie: on the phone with Baron 1 I can’t talk right now, I’m doing hot girl shit. Baron 1: You’re pulling Oreos apart and saving off the frosting to make a mega Oreo, aren’t you. Valkyrie: Maybe.

Vile: I'm trying to juggle family life and work life but I can't seem to find a balance. What do you suggest I do to keep everyone happy? Serpine, deadpan: Quit your job, kill your family.

Vile: Valkyrie, why are you standing in front of the fan? Valkyrie: I’m waiting for Baron to look into the window when he come home. When the fan is blowing on me, I look like a fancy supermodel. Vile: You want Baron to think you’re a supermodel? Valkyrie: Giving him this is the least I can do. It’ll probably be the best part of his walk! Vile, sarcastically: You’re selfless. Valkyrie: Thank you for noticing.

Valkyrie: Can we go out to get icecream? Baron 1: Did you ask Vile? Valkyrie: He said no. Baron 1: Then why did you ask me? Valkyrie: He's not the boss of you. Baron 1, internally: It's a trap, it's a trap, it's a trap.

Mevolent: Can you be serious for five minutes? Valkyrie: My record is four, but I think I can do it.

[allyougottado]

HI Doodle! How have you been? I've been kinda meh bc of college but thats beside the point. About your reblog of sending you a character (or in this case, coach haha) I wanna see your list on either Maybel or Joshua or Lumen Brooks(I'm indecisive about those 3, they've been filling my mind lately aaaaaaa), even tho they dont have much lore, I love read others HC, so I'm eager to read yours^^(sorry if they wont fill all the list thingy:()

i’ll try to do all 3 cuz i rly like these coaches as well 😎 (i'm skipping fave line and song i associate them with because... ppl dont speak in just dance and i'm not creative enough to associate coaches with any song other than their own map LOL)

maybel‼️‼️

fave thing about them: her design is so cute!!!! i love yellow and her dress looks inspired by poodle skirts with the little line (phone cord?) spiraling down the skirt lol it’s so adorable. i especially love the alt. design cuz purple sleeveless jacket is CUTESY (also she looks like she’s matching with joshua with the sleeveless jacket hehe 🤭 very CUTE💯💯💯)

least fave thing about them: nothing to hate abt her 😍

brOTP: love you like a love song (this headcanon was subconciously created by looking at ur art btw LOL)

OTP: JOSHUA‼️‼️‼️

nOTP: i’m ngl i have never seen any other ship with maybel in it LOL

random headcanon: she’s a softie but the one thing she’s loud abt is her #LOVE!!!! i probz got this from the straightforward and aggressively-lovey vibe from call me maybe (and the dance too), but also a description from the JD twitter lol (they describe her as the sweet one hehe)

unpopular opinion: idk i’ve never seen too much opinions that i disagree with abt her

fave picture of them: it’s scrapped but this is kick ass maybel from puppet master lmao

joshua😎

fave thing about them: the fake personality i made for him in my head 😼 and also his yellow glove probably

least fave thing about them: i'm gonna be really honest this part will probably be empty for almost everyone i’m not a person who hates easily 😭

brOTP: i always thought that #thatpower extreme and sorry looked similar to him (i think everyone else did too LOL) so YEAH they’re totally bros to me. i also group epsilon with those 3 but if i explain it will totally derail :P

OTP: maybel 💛🩷

nOTP: haven't seen anything too hateable yet lol

random headcanon: kuudere lolz. basically the exact same thing i said for maybel but instead of sweet and soft (🥺) he's like cold and serious on the outside but super hype and chill when he's dancing or talking to ppl he likes

also he’s probz the most normal compared to #thatpower extreme and sorry lol

unpopular opinion: once again, i haven't seen too much opinions i can disagree with lol

fave picture of them: this screenshot i took from youtube lmao

lumen brooks!!!!!🎸

fave thing about them: ur gonna be so shocked when you hear this but i love his yellow raincoat i want it for myself. also he has TEAL HAIR! TEN MILLION CHARACTER DESIGN POINTS TO YOU UBISOFT (blue hair=looks like miku=good)

also i like rock so his map is so cool. i like how they went with a quirky weird rock map instead of a depressing dark one like the two they added in 2023 like yeahhhhh lets switch it up a little (no hate tho i fucking love evanescence BTW)

least fave thing about them: WOAH it’s a bit too soon to hate lolz

brOTP: probz p1 and p3, zephyr reef and crimson riff. i know they’re most likely not even real but i’d like to think he treats them as if they were his bros. also it would be rlly funny if he just has crazy flow powers and can make stuff he draws real harold and the purple crayon style

OTP: nothing rn

nOTP: also nothing rn… that game needs to come out so i have more brainpower to think of cool stuff to say 😾

random headcanon: when u think punk he doesn’t really look like one compared to crimson riff but he probz acts like one lol. would probably hate ppl like night swan and nithe long. and probably kids in america too (she’s falling for the propaganda… 😔 lol) also he’s loud. idk why i think that it just fits to me lol. also everyone probably thinks he’s #CRAYZAY 🤪 but don’t worry bro. i understand you 🤝

unpopular opinion: idk at first i thought he would be chill with scotty but i somehow changed my mind like scotty’s too much of a sweetie pie and lumen is too feisty (to me hehe) i still like fanworks with both of them in it tho they’re funny. like clashing personality stuff is still very entertaining to me

fave picture of them: idk he’s only existed for a couple of months so there’s not much pics of him… probz the little cartoony promo art from twitter cuz i like how huge they drew his rainboots here LOL

(also hiii mey i’m meh as well LOL when i typed the first half of this post i was out at the mall and i feel like i embarrassed myself so hard there 😭 embarrassment still lingers and it sucks cuz i love the mall but whatever… I’M SENDING MY ENERGY TO YOU SO COLLEGE CAN GET A LITTLE LESS SUCKY 🫶💓)

[cantevenbeachhere]

Dear Ken Diary,

Today was kinda a slow day which, ya know, is normal for a Monday, even in Barbie Land. It’s funny how some days are faster than others, and some are slower. It’s a weird sensation. I wonder if it’s just as weird in the Real World. These are things I would ask Barbie if I could like text her or call her. I wouldn’t do it all the time because I’m sure she’s really busy, but I can’t help but be curious.

And by the way, Weird Barbie says it’s just as weird in the Real World, but it’s normal there. So how’s it weird and normal at the same time? Or maybe it’s like…it’s kinda like how Weird Barbie is Weird but we’re all used to her, so having her be Weird is normal? Maybe it’s like that. I like Weird Barbie’s Weirdness if I’m being honest. She’s cool.

Anyway, I’ve hardly seen my pup today. Ken and Ken and Ken took Pepper to the park to play with him, and then they all wiped themselves out and all huddled together on the couch in our shared Mojo Dojo Casa House for a nap. And then last I saw, they were gonna go take Pepper to let him play with some Barbies.

Meanwhile, Polly my itty bitty kitty has been my bestie today. She’s been hanging out in my sweatshirt pocket half of the day. And when she got bored of the pocket, she literally climbed up me and tucked herself into my hood. I think she likes that better because she can see a lot more from up there. It’s really cute, but as she grows, I fear she’s gonna end up choking me. Wouldn’t hurt my feelings if she stayed this little forever.

OH! I almost forgot! I have some BIG IMPORTANT THINGS to tell you! Remember how I said President Barbie needed to talk to me?! Well, she did, and she had good things to say! She told me that for our Barbie Land Olympics opening ceremony, we were gonna have a parade! AND! Guess who she asked to lead it!

ME!

I get to wear a cool outfit! And have a hat! And a very important scepter thingy! And I get to be the lead in the parade! Isn’t that SO COOL?! Like that’s waaaaay better than anything I expected her to say!

At first I thought she was joking with me, but President Barbie really doesn’t…joke that much. She gave me a look that was like “Boy, I’m dead serious,” so that’s when I knew she really was serious, and I thanked her so much she had to ask me to stop. But I had to thank her that much! It’s a big honor! I’m so excited!

I can’t wait to see what my outfit will look like!

[seoafin]

imma be honest with you chapter four was probably my favorite chapter of anything ive ever read ever. you wrote magic that was sooooooo insane. i especially just loved how you wrote ripmc battling with her feelings over betraying or possibly ending such a long term friendship and relationship. the way she isolated herself and then tried sneaking around to not bump into geto…..oh lord it just made me salivate sadistically for when he would eventually pop up. and u fucking delivered truth be told i’m a gojo girlie through and through but when u write geto….u fucking write geto because holy. shit. your characterization of geto is probabaly my favorite thing i’ve seen ever. i’ve found good fics of before he dejected and after but never a middle ground of his best and worst characteristics all merged into one. you projected such distinct feelings when they were talking and geto closed the door…….i was scared horny nervous embarrassed ashamed like u do not understand i cried while he was going down on her😭😭 and the only reason why i can freely admit this is cause i’m on anon. it’s just like holy shit man your geto is soooo scary and hot😭 the way he had this certain jensequa this chapter like it felt like ripmc was exposed raw and he was looking through her. it felt like when you go up to tell a parent you ate from the cookie jar and they already know. it feels like he knows her better than she knows herself. “i kissed satoru” “i see” was so insane i was so nervous for ripmc cause it felt like such a vulnerable exchange like confessing to a priest all your darkest sins but he already knowns. it felt so intimate especially knowing that satoru and suguru share everything so he most likely already knew. it felt so. fucking. intimate. I CRIED especially cause suguru coming in and closeing the door the way you described that sequence alone was so claustrophobia inducing it was crazy my heart was beating out of my chest. and then the “How?” is sooooo hot don’t get me wrong the eating pussy scene was hot but everything that you wrote leading up to it and everything else he said during it and after. The. Dialogue👏🏻👏🏻 had me screaming. ur crazy. him pressing on your wound and asking if it was from satoru my pussy was having palpitations i thought i was gonna have to call 911. i think he wasn’t so against seeing that on ripmc i wonder what he would say to gojo wanting to get her a leash and collar🙈🙈🙈 he was so deliciously sweet and tender and so suffocating and intoxicating at the same time it cause my body to have a physical reaction like my heart ached made me wanna rip it from my chest and send it to you over mail!!! saying he wants to help you asking if anybodys been down there before knowing damn well he knows the answer he just wanted ripmc to say it. i hate him so much lord why isn’t he real. you know i read the first note where you left an obligatory geto warning and i was shocked cause i know u usually reserve those for gojo but holy fuck i had no idea how much of geto you would let him act out. bro had that dawg in him damn. the way you write him as the perfect balance of condecendingly sweet and tender and terrifyingly suffocating

while reading it felt like it was just you and geto and it made me understand how his ass started a cult. it’s funny considering gojo is the one with the six eyes and geto is the one i feel has such an insane ability to rip your safety blanket off and force such raw vulnerability from you. it’s cause i feel like he has such patience but when you fucked up you fucked up. it’s like the terror of disappointing a parent but you made it sexy? with gojo is more like he sees you and he understand you intimately but it’s also not like that matters much to him. because he wants what he wants. spoiled brat😭😭this is getting beyond creepy this paragraph is too long for me to seem even remotely normal but i must get this out!!! also geto in the end post munching asking you to tell him about your lil friend because he’s no longer insecure about the nature of your relationship he’s decided now and there’s no turning back woah……that was insanly hot and when ripmc asked him to get along and n u made his ass say “no i don’t think i will” i shit myself because not even gege could’ve come up with a most perfect geto response. like that sentence alone was SO SO geto it made me so sick like no i don’t think i will no i don’t think i will no i don’t think i will WITH A SMILE on his face you are soooo evil……i’m a gojo girlie why r u doing this to me😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 please i’m super sane don’t think i’m crazy off this message. also if it’s not too much trouble i don’t want this to come across as like i don’t appreciate the time you put into your stories or seem like i’m disregarding the fact that there’s a human being behind the screen and not fucking chat gpt and u deserve to rest!!! but i was wondering if u perhaps knew what turn the next chapter would take like the vibes for the next chapter?🙈🙈 AND IF U HAVENT EVEN BEGUN TO THINK ABOUT THEM THATS PERFECT TOO DONT EVEN WORRY im sorry im a child who grew up on old 2000s anime that after every episode would give u a preview for the next one i have so lil self preservation n patience😭😭😭😭 if not please ignore i even asked! i was also curious about when you mentioned geto spoiled gojo🙈🙈 in what way particularly cause i found that so interesting considering gojo is the richer of the too even tho geto is the most mature i would love to know what geto offered gojo that contributes as spoiling🤭🤭 that’s it i’ll take my leave it’s like 5 am and i just wanted to type this up before going to sleep! and ps congrats on that japan trip!!!!

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH god GODDDD i have so much to say so i'll put it under a read more

first of all THANK YOU FOR READING AND SENDING ME THIS it was such a pleasant amazing thing to wake up to i want to frame it and put it on my wall LOL but yes!!! this was probably one of my favorite chapters of this fic and one of the best things i've ever written for geto. okay ALSO ALSO let me just say that i love geto's duality so so so so so much. there's nothing better than a man who struggles between crazy delusion and sanity/moral responsibility and constraints/repression and to me geto is someone who embodies that. i think it's so fun trying to not only imagine geto in a world he didn't defect but characterize him. he is the jade that cracked too early!!!! he left before he could fully unlock his potential and we know from the kenjaku/yuki fight geto would've been an MENACE had he stayed (with gojo). i really think his two extremes and his potential make him soooo fascinating and trying to come up with ways to keep his grounded is just another great thing about writing this fic. i like to think he often reminds himself of ripmc's goodness and that makes him want to be a little bit better. if not for him but for her. he thinks about the kids the nice lady who owns the supermarket right in front of the kids' school and gives them free popsicles, the people who have thanked him for saving them, all the small things to remind himself it's worth it. like don't get me wrong i love his cringe girl failboss cult era too!!!!! but something about geto as the person he COULD'VE been. all his flaws and misgivings and condescension wrapped up into a less moral person still trying to do the right thing. still trying to undertake that responsibility despite it. AHHHHHH

i think the most interesting thing about writing that scene was writing it from ripmc's part. i definitely thought the audience was going to catch on pretty quick that gojo already told geto (why wouldn't he) and geto already knows. so basically you're reading from the POV of someone who is oblivious while ALSO knowing that geto probably already knows everything. i just think it adds an extra dimension to the scene and all of geto's dialogues and action. he was definitely hesitating on coming on too strongly and struggling with the morality of not letting ripmc experience things(tm) before taking everything. and obviously gojo doesn't understand it so gojo makes the decision for the both of them. there's no going back anymore!

SPOILERS FOR NEXT CHAP!

also to answer your questions!!!!! the next couple of chapters is like....the fall out of everything. but there's not really a fallout ripmc thinks the world is ending but it's just her LMAO they come to a resolution in the next 1-2 chapters and that's when their relationship kinda transforms into a fwb relationship because it's the only way ripmc can wrap her head around starting a sexual relationship with them. she actually agrees to it super quickly and gojo is like be fr rn WHAT. girlie needs to free herself from the prison of compartmentalizing everything! the next nsfw scene is gojo getting a blowjob and nearly blowing his load too early though i will say. if you thought geto's dialogue was crazy in this chapter just wait for that scene because that man is even more unfiltered than geto and more willing to say whatever it is on his mind. the two of them r truly menaces 😭😭😭😭😭

as for your second question i say geto spoils gojo by letting him get away with a little too much. geto is the one usually reigning gojo in but i do think geto is also somewhat emotionally indulgent with him at times. you know....gojo does or says something rude, he's being dismissive, he does a little more property damage than he should've. geto sighs gives him a kiss and lightly tells him not to do it again bc sometimes lecturing gojo gets kinda old. sometimes, it really isn't that big of a deal. which i think marks a very important turn or shift in geto's priorities as he gets older. less formed around morality more centered around gojo n ripmc n the kids....

once again AHHHHHH thank you for sending this in writing this fic has been the most arduous task of my ff writer era bc i've never written a multi chaptered fic before this but i am writing this for you and for every other person who has been reading/commenting!!!!!!

[oinkoinkzoomals]

absentmindedly making me want you ➝ malalie.

tagging: malcolm corcoran, natalie rose @privnatalie

location: table + ice.

timeframe: october 17th, morning.

warnings: very brief mentions of cannibalism.

summary: nat and mal talk about where they stand and what they want. then they put a name to it.

MALCOLM CORCORAN.

This where you’ve been hiding out this whole time?

NATALIE ROSE.

[Nat doesn’t know what comes over her, but she walks over towards Mal and wraps her arms around them tightly without saying anything.]

MALCOLM CORCORAN.

[Mal pauses for a moment from the shock of it all, and then he hugs Nat back. He rubs her back in comfort.] Hey, you’re good. We’re good, Nat.

NATALIE ROSE.

[Nat smiles. She usually doesn’t like touch, but when he rubs her back it feels good.] I’m sorry. I’ve been scared… Which is not normal for me.

MALCOLM CORCORAN.

Nah don’t be sorry. [Mal finally breaks the hug but doesn’t step too far back.] This whole thing’s scary, you’re not a superhuman. Unless you are and just never told me in which case, what the fuck?

NATALIE ROSE.

I’m not superhuman. [Nat frowns.] No one can be superhuman. That’s not real.

MALCOLM CORCORAN.

You sure about that? You’re pretty super if you ask me.

NATALIE ROSE.

I am? [Nat’s brows furrow in confusion.] How so?

MALCOLM CORCORAN.

I don’t know. I’m not good with words, you just are. Like you’re super smart and super cool.

NATALIE ROSE.

[Nat smiles.] Oh… Okay. Well… Thank you. I think you’re cool too.

MALCOLM CORCORAN.

Oh my god, you think I’m cool? [Mal, like a fucking loser, twirls his hair with his finger]

NATALIE ROSE.

[Nat can’t help but laugh, a big smile on her face.] You’re so funny, Mal.

MALCOLM CORCORAN.

Aw shucks, you’re gonna give me a big head. [Mal is practically grinning in return. They consider Nat for a moment.] Seriously though. We’re all good, we’ll be out of here soon. I owe you a hot dog, remember? [Pauses] Like an actual hot dog, that’s not a metaphor.

NATALIE ROSE.

What would it be a metaphor for? [She stands there, considering it.] Oh. Your penis. [Nat nods.] I would like both.

MALCOLM CORCORAN.

[Mal laughs louder than he has in days] We can make that happen. Maybe after the real hot dogs though. It’s not you, my sisters are all here though and I don’t wanna hurt their feelings by getting laid when they’re not.

NATALIE ROSE.

[Nat looks around to see where his sisters are and nods again.] I would be jealous too. Having intercourse with me is pretty great, is it not?

MALCOLM CORCORAN.

Nat, babe, intercourse with you is fucking amazing.

NATALIE ROSE.

[Nat smiles.] Can we go sit down somewhere together? Is there a couch?

MALCOLM CORCORAN.

[Mal looks around and spots an empty booth in a back corner.] Yeah, come on. [They grab her hand to lead the way]

NATALIE ROSE.

[Nat walks with Mal, her hand still in theirs. She slips into the booth and pauses for a moment. For some reason, she’s craving physical touch. She snuggles into him, and then looks up.] Is this okay?

MALCOLM CORCORAN.

[Mal doesn’t think twice about letting her lean on him, or about putting an arm loosely around her once she’s settled.] You’re totally good. Warning you though, if I smell gross, blame Addy’s studio.

NATALIE ROSE.

[Nat sniffs him and scrunches her nose.] It could be better, but I don’t care. [She looks down at their hands that are still linked.] Do you think we’re going to get out of here anytime soon?

MALCOLM CORCORAN.

Oh my God, totally forget to mention that you’re super honest too. Love that. [Mal leans as far back as they can in the booth so that Natalie can be comfortable] For sure. They keep making people move, so that’s gotta be a good sign. And phones are coming back longer. Plus if they keep us in here too long, someone might snap and start eating people. No one wants that.

NATALIE ROSE.

[Nat smiles and then thinks about it.] Cannibalism is actually common in some cultures. It’s oftentimes in situations like this when food is scarce and people are struggling. [She gives Mal a serious look.] Make sure no one eats me.

MALCOLM CORCORAN.

That’s so cool. But like… creepy cool. Crool? No, that’s “cruel”, that’s a whole other thing. [Mal chooses to not make the incredibly obvious innuendo, but he does wiggle his eyebrows because he simply can’t help himself] I gotchu. Anyone tries to eat you, I’ll stop them.

NATALIE ROSE.

[Nat can’t help her laugh at Mal’s wiggling eyebrows.] Good. I trust you. [She clears her throat.] I just wanted to say I’m sorry that I never realized that what we were doing meant something else to you.

MALCOLM CORCORAN.

[Mal shifts around in their stop but tries not to move too much and bother Nat. They shrug] It’s cool. [They hope they sound convincing] I could’ve been more obvious with everything, you know? Used my big bitch words.

NATALIE ROSE.

Big bitch words? [She laughs, but then pulls back to look at Mal.] I don’t know, this… This whole lockdown has me re-thinking everything.

MALCOLM CORCORAN.

[Mal loosens his hold so that Nat can move as freely as she wants. Something in his chest twinges.] Rethinking like… what?

NATALIE ROSE.

[Nat clears her throat, obviously nervous.] I don’t know. I’m not good at this. But I just know that I was upset at the thought of something bad happening to you. And that it felt more than.. just someone I had slept with.

MALCOLM CORCORAN.

[Mal listens carefully to Nat’s words, trying not to jump the shark] Yeah, ‘cause we’re friends.

NATALIE ROSE.

[Nat shakes her head.] No. I think it’s more than that, Mal.

MALCOLM CORCORAN.

[Again, Mal listens and processes. The last time he assumed anything between him and Nat, it ended in him eating half a gallon of strawberry ice cream on his sisters’ and Amy’s bathroom floor at 2am. Once he’s sure he’s heard right, he burst into a grin] So you like-like me?

NATALIE ROSE.

[Nat looks at him for a moment, perplexed.] What? [She giggles. She doesn’t know what like-like means, but the smile on his face makes her want to kiss him. She leans forward and presses her lips against theirs, not caring if anyone can see.] Does that answer your question?

MALCOLM CORCORAN.

[Mal is still smiling like an idiot when Nat kisses them. It warms them from the inside out, and they pull Nat closer to them.] Oh my god, you totally like-like me. [They then press a lighter kiss to the corner of Nat’s mouth.] It’s a good thing, I promise. I like-like you too.

NATALIE ROSE.

[Nat almost feels giddy. She’s never done something like this, and Mal’s smile is infectious. She’s blushing slightly.] You do?

MALCOLM CORCORAN.

Yup. [Mal leans back in the booth again, dragging Nat with them] Sure do. Makes me want to get that Santa Monica pier hot dog even more now.

NATALIE ROSE.

[Nat cuddles into him even more, wrapping her arms around them.] Me too. We can do it more than once if you like the hot dogs that much. We will have intercourse afterwards, right?

NATALIE ROSE.

I couldn't be sick of you. [She pouts.] I wish we could do it now.

MALCOLM CORCORAN.

[Mal looks around, suddenly extremely invested in the layout of this place. They gently push Natalie out of the booth, following after her.] Fuck yeah, let’s go. [They then drag Nat with them, fully intending to find whatever closet, crawlspace, or bathroom sink this place has to offer.]

[ t i m e s k i p ]

NATALIE ROSE.

[Nat strolls up to Mal.] Does you saying you like-like me mean you want to be my boyfriend? [She pauses.] Or partner?

MALCOLM CORCORAN.

I don't know. What do you want me to be?

NATALIE ROSE.

[Nat pauses, not having expected that question.] I don’t know. I was going to figure that out after you answered my question.

MALCOLM CORCORAN.

[Mal watches Nat carefully. He pushes back the guilt of his earlier conversation with Emmy] Alright, well.. do you wanna go out with other people? Like dates?

NATALIE ROSE.

[Nat shakes her head ‘no’.] I don’t usually feel this way about other people.

MALCOLM CORCORAN.

Yeah, I get that. [They almost don't want to ask their next question] Do you… want to have intercourse with other people?

NATALIE ROSE.

I do like having intercourse with people. That’s what I usually do. [Nat shrugs shyly. Her voice is quiet when she says,] but I don’t think I’d want to do it with anyone else right now. Not after earlier. Is that… I don’t know. Is that stupid?

MALCOLM CORCORAN.

Cool, cool. [Mal nods his head, but their head is very much not cool. It's actually running a mile a minute] So if you just want to have intercourse with me [he points to himself] and I only want to have intercourse with you [he points to her] and I wanna sit on your couch for two hours a night watching reruns of House Hunters International while you tell me cool bone facts, is that your idea of being my girlfriend?

NATALIE ROSE.

[Natalie smiles. Thinking of them sitting on her couch every night sounded nice. If that’s what being Mal’s girlfriend meant, then she wanted it.] Yes. [*She nods enthusiastically.] I like that. I like that a lot.

MALCOLM CORCORAN.

[Mal's pretty sure it should be illegal to smile this much during a lockdown, but they can't help it] Yeah?

NATALIE ROSE.

Yeah. [Nat wraps her arms around their neck, bringing them in close before kissing them.]

[webslingingslasher]

i’m gonna admit something, i’ve never dated anyone fr i had a situation ship that wasn’t great at all. but i’m scared to date. i’m not the normal 20 year old, i had to take 2 gap years and i’ve been through more than the average 20 year old. and people just don’t wanna date people who have never done anything.

like i live next to the university campus so it’s not hard for dates and stuff but i just feel so disconnected you know. no one wants to hear about a 20 year old girl who only works and does boring shit with her friends bc i also don’t party (none of my friends do). and i’m shit at talking to people

when you see people around you more experianced or having sex you think EVERYONE is doing it and you're the odd one out. you're not.

twenty is a very normal age to have no experiance and it's a lot more common than you think. you're twenty, you're still so young. if you count 18 as being an adult well... you have two whole years of experiance. you're a two year old!

i'm only a few years older than you but i can offer this one piece of advice, stop putting an age on things. everyone, and i mean everyone is on their own timeline. there are things you will accomplish your friends won't for years, there are things your friends have accomplished that you haven't yet and that's okay!

i had someone come in the other day at work and i was helping her with some colors and we got to chatting about her husband and how lovely he was. she was his second marriage, he was her first.

they didn't get married until she was fourty and she didn't feel like she wasted a day before then.

when you dictate your life around what you should be doing or what you should have figured out by a certain age, and you reach that age, and you don't have things figured out you feel cheated by yourself and it's unfair.

the real honest thing about being an adult is that everyone looks like they have things more figured out than you but the reality is that none of us know what the fuck is going on we just look really good at pretending we do.

sure, maybe you're not charli demelio and a millionaire at fifteen, but haven't we all learned there is beauty and peace in simplicity?

ie. the time will pass anyways, find ways to enjoy it by yourself until everything else catches up to you.

[padawansuggest]

I saw a new GO for the first time today and was honest for the first time about how many pain killers I take and how it’s destroying my body (like thing ‘shitting blood every 3 days’ destroying cause that’s what it got to) but I couldn’t stop or even take less or I’d be in the ER and I was terrified to tell a doctor that because I once had a doctor tell me ‘take less pain killers’ and I said ‘and replace them with what? Because I can’t stop I’ll be in the er. The er that refuses to give pain meds.’ And they just said ‘doesn’t matter just take less and fix the root problem’ but the root problem is that I am allergic to everything ever and also have multiple chronic conditions that cause inflammation in my head and neck and that’s why I take the pain killers to reduce the inflammation and the only reason I was brave enough today to say how much I take is because SHE suggested steroids and a muscle relaxer first and I was so happy I couldn’t stop grinning. About. Steroids. And a 12 hour muscle relaxer. Like. I’m still flying on cloud nine and that’s over… 6 hours since I got the pills and I haven’t had any pain killers in about 8 and that’s. Impressive. For me. Because I been taking them every time I take a gabapentin lately. Which happens every 6 hours.

Anyways. I’m desperately hoping these pills get me to baseline because after 2 straight months (arguably 2.5 at least) of infections and inflammation I’m so fucking over this shit and my face hurty.

Also she got me a script to go see a PT at the hospital who worked with her own daughter for TMJ and I’m excited about that one too. When I don’t see SOMEONE for too long I start forgetting that normal for others is pain free or 1-3 on the scale and I’ve been living for most of my life at 5-6 and the past three months at 6-8 and that’s. So bad. And the doctors could and should help.

Anyways. My tooth spot is healing very well so far. And now I’m gonna get back to being functional and losing the 30lbs I have gained in the past 3 months being unable to function. I can do that cause my healthy limit is about 30lbs ago so I need to and want to, but like. Damn. For me, who typically never fluctuates in weight more than 5lbs up or down, that’s not great and really shows what my pain level has been lately.

I love you all, thanks for sticking with my through the fever brain. If you coincidentally liked this slightly less hinged version of me tho, I can stay cray cray if you need it, I just have no real filter when my head is inflamed.