#I literally use my tumblr to talk to myself
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So nobody knows if those text messages are actually legit and even if they are it's literally just thought crime at this point?
Also really brings in a question why you or anyone sat on these for what two or three years as everybody keeps saying so was it really about outing a dangerous person or more likely a vendetta considering other people you claim have allegations against that you didn't expose or what your play in all this is.
There are actual dangerous and creepy men running rampant but you choose this and to do so on the day you did for a reason but tumblr ppl like yourself are retarded and dont need much to bark up a tree.
Do better.
I'll break this down bit by bit
>So nobody knows if those text messages are actually legit
I confirmed they were real when I got them, there's no reason for me to post what I saw for that bc it drags multiple other parties in purely to convince like three people. I've been extremely diplomatic with this drop because it's real, and I think the fact he deleted immediately speaks for itself.
>even if they are it's literally just thought crime at this point?
This is literally the same logic as "no you don't understand, she only looks 10, she's 9000 in the lore". Yeah, it's a "thought crime" -- it's not acceptable to think children or dogs are sexually attractive, and it's even less acceptable to indulge those fantasies. This is not revolutionary thinking.
>Also really brings in a question why you or anyone sat on these for what two or three years
I got the screenshots at like 5 AM Saturday (Serbian time) and gave myself until Sunday to have the post ready. That's about 36 hours.
>so was it really about outing a dangerous person or more likely a vendetta considering other people you claim have allegations against that you didn't expose or what your play in all this is.
This is so stupid and I have to break this down into chunks
Yes, it's about outing a dangerous person. I don't see why "Pharma doesn't like people who want to fuck kids and dogs" is such a hard thing to believe.
I never had anything against him before I found this shit out, in fact I don't think I ever even talked to him the entire leadup to this. I'm extremely loud and annoying about people I hate, and the worst I do is start fights and talk shit. Like come on, you're writing fanfiction at this point.
All I've posted is that I have allegations in my inbox about other people, I didn't say which people, and the purpose of doing that is to encourage people who've actually got evidence to come forward. Would you rather I just post a bunch of "he said this", "he did that", anons with nothing backing them up? Use your head here.
>There are actual dangerous and creepy men running rampant
Yeah and we just got rid of one of them. Again, send me evidence and I'll do the same shit to whoever tf it is you're thinking of.
>tumblr ppl like yourself are retarded and dont need much to bark up a tree.
Very unfortunate choice to use a dog metaphor here is all I'll say to that.
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I just realised MBTI uses behaviour to predict personality but in science personality is used to predict behaviour 🤔
Using a personality model and focusing on traits might be more beneficial than doing MBTIs to figure out characterisation
#mbti is fun but one of the first things my lecturer did in the personality segment of the course is discredit it 🤣#I think I might just start using the hexco or ocean personality models instead of having to do a whole mbti test lol#just use the slider and make inferences based off that#characterisation#writing characters#psychology#personality#my ramblings#sorry lol#should've put this on the other blog#soko#for the record#I like mbtis#but that's not how ppl work sadly D: and it's way too exhausting to do the tests for all my characters#writing#i'm still learning#u do u bae#I literally use my tumblr to talk to myself#this is me making observations for myself#just fyi#for me to try making more realistic characters#personality is defined as a set of consistent traits a person displays#I am only student#👉👈#my brain hasn't switched off in a while- I crave sleep
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#sometimes I love sitting in complete darkness also knowing death is literally around the corner#it's so thick in the air it's unreal#I haven't mentioned anything about it here but#my kitty has cancer and things haven't looked good at all during the last 2 days#I fear that it won't take too long anymore until she will die#I'm so used to doing everything by myself and I know I will manage somehow as always but#I can't deny I sometimes get so fucking tired of always putting on a brave face and pretending that everything's fine#and not talk to my few friends who unfortunately suffer so much themselves and sadly don't even live near me#and yet I don't even want to talk because I'm way too exhausted#mayhaps just the presence of someone who cares and understands could be enough I think#but there's nothing like that anymore so I keep pushing myself forward despite always falling back deeper into the dark hole#I have long accepted how things are but#knowing the one thing that gave me the most strength during dark times will be gone is unbelievably painful#I'm confident things will become brighter at some point. just wondering when. I think I finally deserve a break#just wanted to get it off my chest before retreating back into my “idgaf” behavior#tumblr and moots are my witness#likely tbd#tw cancer
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#AHDKGKSHDKGJD IVE BEEN SO EXCITRD AB THESE SINCE I MSDE THEM YESTERDAY#i literally love. i am so obsessed#i have no necklaces these days </3#so i thought id make some cute ones myself!#im so obsessed oh my freaking gosh#fashion icon ୨𖹭୧#bee's diaries ୨𖹭୧#girlblogging#it girl#wonyoungism#girlhood#pink pilates princess#girly tumblr#this is what makes us girls#girly stuff#girlcore#girlworld#im just a girl#this is a girlblog#girl things#girl thoughts#girl therapy#girl code#girl talk#girly girl#that girl#pink blog#hyperfemininity#hyper feminine#princess
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I'm sorry, but y'all do not know wtf do these words mean, like at all. And I'm tired of people calling Bruce a capitalist when he is NOT (owning a company and being rich ≠ being a capitalist. You can be poor and be a capitalist, because it's an ideology. Being born rich and the heir to a company doesn't make you a capitalist, because it's an ideology. My brother is a capitalist, which is a shame, and he is far from rich) or saying Jason or Oliver are communists just because they have beef with him, when they are not (Oliver calls himself an anarchist, I could argue with him about that but still, not the same as a communist. Jason has not shown to have communist ideologies. I was raised by communists, this boy is not one)
#batfam#batman#bruce wayne#jason todd#red hood#oliver queen#green arrow#dc comics#my ramblings#there are way too many posts online calling Bruce a capitalist and I'm going to throw myself out of the window#someone literally argued that liking cops is capitalism and like no not at all#usamerican tumblr leftists will use big word but actually doesn’t know wtf they are talking about#I could also argue about Oliver calling people fascist because this man doesn’t use that word correctly either#BRUCE IS NOT A FASCIST BECAUSE HE DOESN’T LISTEN TO YOU AND IS CONTROLLING FASCISM IS MORE THAN THAT#Especially when Bruce kicks fascists and neo-nazis ass in his comics multiple times and shows that he hates them#I don't talk to my brother anymore because his capitalism talk were harming me mentally and like Bruce is far from sounding like him#and NO anarchism and communism aren't the same thing anarchism was born during the french revolution of 1789#communism with Karl Marx decades later they are both far left ideologies but not the same thing#why I would argue with Oliver is because he became mayor and that's not very anarchist of him
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i used to freehand comics all the time as a child and since the part i liked was the drawing part i would just draw panel after panel because i didn't want to stop drawing to think about icky icky words, plus the story TOTALLY still made perfect sense! to me! and noone else, but 'whoooo caaaaares omgggg its not like comics and sequantial art are a communicative meeediummmm lmaoooooo'. i spent my entire childhood telling myself stuff like "oh pfft I know this story by heart- ill SIMPLY remember the dialogue and write it later" ...and. I can't help but admire baby maiora's (call that a minora ba tm tsk) fucking audacity? hubris? confident wrongness? kid couldn't even remember to finish the comics in the first place? INCREDIBLE levels of unearned self assurance, wish that were me, genuinely- what an icon!!! anyway i think i have forever cursed myself
#maiora garrulates#the maiora overthinks the process of writing dialogue saga continues!!!!!!!#im so tired. i have been overthinking this shit in circles i have not been making any progress in any which way lmao!#im bitching and moaning for funsies this is not that serious in the Grand Scheme Of Things i just wanna improve at my fav thing#and ❤️ Unfortunately ❤️ my favorite thing in the world involves learning MY MOST HATED *NEMESIS*!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! verbal communication. ew#words are fun! i LOVE words! toys!!!!! im using words right now and i didn't combust!!!!! wow look at that!!!!!!!!!!!!!#putting words in SEQUENCE? multiple times?? filtering THOUGHTS into SENTENCES???? sentences that a character would or wouldn't SAY???#AND THEN THERE'S ANOTHER CHARACTER SOMETIMES???? AND THAT BITCH ALSO HAS THOUGHTS AND FEELINGS????? AND THEY ALL HAVE PERSONAL IDIOLECTS#AND TONES THAT S U P P O S E D L Y ARE IMPLICATED BY MANNERISMS AND VERBAL HABITS AND CIRCUMSTANCES (AND THERE'S WRONG ANSWERS! ALSO!!)#AND THEY'RE IN A CONTEXT!! AND THEY'RE INTERACTING WITH EACH OTHER AND INFLUENCING EACH OTHER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#THE CONVERSATION COULD VARY GIVEN ENERGY LEVELS WHETER OR NOT SOMEONE'S FOOT IS FALLING ASLEEP THE F U C K I N G WEATHER#“oh dialogue is easy just say it out loud to yourself until it 'sounds normal' ^^”#screaming crying throwing up NONE OF THIS IS INTUITIVE TO MEEEEEEEEEEEeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee....!#ok dramatics over its out of my system! for now!!!#this is all easily explained bc i just. draw a lot more than i talk to people. so like. OBVIOUSLY i have more practice drawing#so drawing comes natural! talking does not! subsequently dialogue is Hard! No FUCKING Shit Sherlock!!!!! (affectionate)#so yeah. im using y'all (the tumblr void) as practice! hi!!! words at you!!!!!!!!!!#so yeah thanks for baring with me while passing by my corner of the internet#i do love self indulgence this is fun check out my navel gazing actually no do not look at my belly button#anyway i just think this is mildly interesting. some of my writer buds have the same “not good enough” allergy towards visuals#but they use it to be mean2me >:( same bitch that “omg i cant i suck at drawing i can't do this-” does the “uhm. just write? lol.” 2 meeee#we could have peace and love on planet earth and a common experience and yet you KICK miette for being bad at words!!!1!!! </3 heartbreak!!#what the fuck was i talking about even#oh yeah. perfectionism within creatives i guess. LMAO JK i am talking about NOTHIN!!!!G i am just putting Words Out Here ehehehehehe#its practice >;)c#all this bc ive been doodling comics for myself again and im V!! PROUD OF THE ART!!!! wanna share- but DIALOGUE!*⚡sfx!!*....... so! options#a) leaving it blank. no there are NO microphones in the budget. b) leaving blank *balloons* so that the Rythm is there. implied convo!!!#c) ...doing it badly. (tragic)(heartwrenching)(teeny tiny bruise 2 the ego) *dramatic single tear cleches fists * its the only way.........#...we shall see! literally none of this is all that serious i am procrastinating!! <3 playing with my tuoys!!!!!!!! silly time!!!#/all lh! am reaching 30 tags so that is all for THIS episode of the maiora bitches about dialogue saga thank you for joining me!!okilyBuhBY
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i have this thing where the more i like someone the more i ignore them or at least like. actively try to not let it show that i am paying attention to them. because i feel like if they knew how much i like them they'd be freaked out by me like oh my god why is this loser so obsessed with me. and i don't mean just crushes i mean people i am/want to be friends with. like there's some people on here who i like so much bc i think they're great people but i... basically avoid liking/rbing/replying to too many of their posts and messaging them first and stuff bc in my brain if i don't "hold back" they will find me annoying and creepy and start hating me if they don't already. and yes it does feel like a CRIME to be annoying to me. like i'd rather jump in front of a train than annoy someone i like and admire and think is cool
#and jumping in front of a train is my least favorite suicide method like i'd never choose that one#but yeah i'm very much aware this sounds insane#unfortunately i am indeed insane. clinically insane#i try to combat this sort of thinking by reasoning with myself that like#there are literal stalkers and violent people out there is liking 5 posts in a row on someone's blog REALLY so bad?#answer: no it's not but it FEELS like it is#it feels like i deserve to be lined up and shot for it#is that normal? no the fuck it isn't!!!! i should relax a little!!!!!#but alas. i will continue to talk to people i like only 1 out of the 10 times i'd like to and suffer thru these stupid thoughts#(i am working on this though like.. it used to be even worse LMAO i used to feel soooo bad if like someone didn't reply to me or something#bc it made me feel like. they must hate me for sure. they think i should leave tumblr forever. they'd be so happy if i did. i suck. etc#i've gotten a bit better i don't torture myself for 3 hours when i feel like i've annoyed or bothered someone anymore. small steps..)#you can totally think i'm weird for this btw you'd be right :')#but i guess what you can take from this is that there's a very high chance i like you more than you think i do. because if we like are#mutuals/have talked/i follow you i'm likely trying to not show too much that i like you/your blog#do with that what you will lol
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diejoni shippers it’s okay to come out of the closet I will protect u
#I just scrolled the DieJoni tag on tumblr and it’s all me talking to myself. criing#but I see the diejoni nation in my notes sooo one of us is lying 🤔#jkjk#love u guys thank u for reading my stupid posts I hope you’re having a nice day#diejoni#diejo#dinotusk#I want to tag dinost*r… IM TIRED OF SLAMMING CHARACTER NAMES TOGETHER#wait wait wait#yugioh and pokemon fandom have like descriptors for ships instead of character names#th*efshipping pok*shipping etc#hmm… maybe i should investigate such a route farther…#s*lverdancershipping#okay that’s literally the horses but do u see the vision#aquamar*neshipping (since Diego is usually colored green and Johnny has some blue)#censoring so I don’t clog the tags if that ship actually exists lol#maybe I should run a poll on this too…#my posts
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sorry for only saying this type of shit lately but i kinda wanna drive a car straight into a brick wall at the highest speed possible
#trying to keep it together so bad because i already know the problems and solutions and whatnot but i cannot do anything#i desperately just need to do something. accomplish any task. actually several would be nice. but i cannot stand just letting life go by#while i watch other people have the things i want. or even metaphorically living my dream like. that should be me why am i settling for thi#i hate even talking about this because i feel so stupid when i know it's not even a real tangible problem and that i actually DO have real#problems to tackle and the ability to do so but i'm choosing to be upset over the stupidest things i could possibly be sad about#and i can't even be sad about it in a normal way i'm cycling through like several different reactions to smth that isn't even real#or if it is real i literally do not have tanglible evidence for it one way or another like i'm driving myself insane for no reason#i can't even get catharsis because all i'm doing is digging a deeper hole for something i never should've gone back into in the first place#because i KNOW how i am i KNOW how i react to things and i still chose to do it lmao.#and i continue to choose to go through this shit instead of actively trying to change my life because... i'm lazy? and stupid? idk#negative self-talk isn't gonna get me to do anything either so let's just say i'm feeling particularly unmotivated like usual#i hated being a teenager but i really do miss when all my problems just amounted to 'someone was mean to me on tumblr today :(' or i failed#a test in chemistry or something. like i yearn for that simplicity becasue at this point all i'm doing is ruining my own life LMAO#i'm too scared to live i'm too scared to die so i just sit here and fantasize that life could be amazing if i wait#and i'll magically get everything i've ever wanted if i just wait long enough. and i know it isn't true and i still wait for it to happen.#because honestly like. i think deep down i am just convinced i will fail at anything i do when that shouldn't be what scares me.#what scares me should be never even allowing myself to fail because i never tried to do anything at all with myself or my life#like. wake the fuck up. get off your ass and put in the effort. learn some skills. gain independence and stability and discipline and do it#just live please i'm begging you just live so i can be happy don't i deserve to be happy... why am i not letting myself be happy#i'm literally keeping myself trapped in this negative feedback loop ON PURPOSE because teehee shiny toy#and it doesn't matter if the love is real it doesn't matter how i feel like i'm just using it as a distraction i can't say it's motivation#because it's barely motivated me at all. i have to start being realistic. 25 & just realizing you actually have to participate in your life#anyways. i've cried i've agonized i've pictured killing myself in 30 different ways. i think the only way i'm gonna feel better is#to just actually try this time without giving up. wish me luck
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ive been playing a lot of stardew valley to cope w sttess and just yesterday and the day before i found out it kinda has canon polyamory sorta.
so for ppl who dont play the game, theres heart events as ur friendship increases with each villager, lil cutscenes or sometimes gifts. Each villager has a total of 10 hearts to fill, but dateable characters cap at 8, the final two being locked behind actually dating them. You *can* date more than one character, but that's very much cheating and they will get mad.
Except - i'm sure a lot of you already knew this but I only found out recently when a friend told me - if you have a rabbit's foot in your pocket. With that item in your in your inventory ur allowed to date all of the bachelors, get all their 10 heart events and a bonus group one where they don't get mad at you. I'm not sure how the scene goes cause I never got it, but I thought it was interesting that you can do that.
The reason I said kinda sorta is you don't really get to properly discuss the relationship so it's more like the player still cheated but they don't get mad than a proper relationship, but I still think it's pretty neat, cause I've always wabted to get all 10 heart events but I didn't want to make them mad so I never tried... Also, unfortunately, you csnnot marry multiple bachelors without a mod, but I did see a few polyamory mods in nexus! Haven't downloaded one myself, cause I feel weird about dating siblings and I wouldn't know how to choose between haley and emily or maru and sebastian, I love them all dearly 💖 I also saw one that allowed you to marry a villager AND be roommates with krobus without making it romanceable (him? they? does krobus hace pronouns?) which I think is great!!
Anyway I just wanted to talk abput the rabbit's foot thing here cause I thought it was interesting! Not quite polyamory but the closest you can get to without mods.
#mod talks#because i have the urge to overexplain myself:#if anyone reads this and wonders why i have time for stardew and not for round 2 its literally the stress#i cant do round 2 now cause mentally im not rlly able to work on it#like i know it probaly doesnt seem like much but the banners specially use a lot of my very limited energy#and i also need to keep an eye out for propagands and try to remember the self reblogs and i dont wanna be on tumblr that much rn#meanwhile stardew helps destress#hope that clears things up
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"fnaf is the scariest game ever" "no its silent hill" "well i think its resident evil" everyone shut up!!!!!! youre all wrong. its actually zack & wiki quest for barbaros' treasure (on the nintendo wii) but only the level "keeper of the ice". that level scared me so bad as a kid and you can tell because its the only individual level i remember the name of off the top of my head. like there is nothing scarier than a) being chased and b) being on a time limit. and you know what this level has? BOTH OF THOSE. this level is still scary to me im like AHHHHH!!!! and then i die
#i had to google horror games after i thought really hard for silent hill and fnaf#because like. resident evil is just not a horror game in my mind... its just cool zombie game...#to be fair though. the only one i actually played a portion of was re6 which is probably the least scary one in the whole series#anyway do the kids still find silent hill and fnaf scary. i dont know.#well the former id say yes given how prevalent ps1 horror has been in recent years#fnaf i have no idea. im a massive wuss so its scary when i play it for myself#but watching someone else play them especially when i know them well isnt scary#and ive watched fnaf videos for YEARS#so i dont know. (old man voice) these damn kids... back in my day we watched markiplier scream at freddy fazbear and we LIKED it!#anyway its objectively a horror game and thata literally fine thats all i needed for this post#MY POINT HERE. my point here#IS THAT HIT ZACK AND WIKI LEVEL KEEPER OF THE ICE. IS SOOOOO SCARY#its not that scary but i see tjat level and im like 3 years old making my mom play this level for me again#and for the record yes me and my sister really did make our mom help us with z&w#she remembers helping us with frost breath the most because we like did notttttt get that one at all#and she could never remember how to do the mirrors based on what combination of stands is there (because tjeres like a few variations)#so she always had to look up a guide 😭😭#my poor mother on fucking gamefaqs or something in like 2010... legends only#anyway if you have no idea what level im talking about (any of my oomfs reading this that isnt end) (hi end) PLEASE look up this level#and i need you to think of like a 5(?) year old making her mom play this game.#this aforementioned child is still a massive wuss as an adult btw. some things never change#anyway watch that level and think about how someone like me. whos already a scaredy cat!#imagine how someone like me felt at age 5 possibly younger playing this level#I WISH I COULD LIKE CONVEY EMOTIONS OVER TUMBLR. why cant i attach a .emotion file to this post#anyway ramble over <- hes said that like a million times today#scariest level in a game ever...!!!!! FUCK that keeper of the ice bitch im GLAD he died#muffin mumbles
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Xxx
#sooo#if it wasn't for the tumblrs I follow#and for 1644#I would really want to shoot myself in the head#work is getting awful#just right at the time when I want to do something actually useful#a hobby I was meant to do a long time ago but could start only now#my morale is down#and let's not talk about my finances#oh boy#this is the first time when I actually don't know how I will actually pay for everything this month#i had so many plans#like purchasing that fucking sofa#but I have barely enough money to buy groceries#this is the first time I'm in this situation#and I'm kinda loosing it#I bought books for a lecture#I signed up for a lecture#i was going somewhere with this#and I don't know where I fucked up#so in the last days of the month I probably eat only rice#literally#yay#but also if a train hit me tomorrow I wouldn't complain because what I have to do at work is giving me the depression of a life time
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my mom: worried i’m being brainwashed into being trans by tumblr girlies
me on tumblr dot com: still posting jeremy bearimy memes in 2024
mom, i think i’m fine
my mutuals: posting about forcefemming everyone 🤫 shhhhh
#no but like it’s so far from the truth#bc like i realized on my own years ago#and joined tumblr *after* i started transitioning#and she also used to think my therapist was doing it#and i started therapy a few months after that#like literally introduced myself as hi my name is sabrina and i’m a trans woman and i want to try therapy for my undiagnosed adhd#no but apparently according to the memes it was talking about welcome to night vale with my latin teacher that did it#i mean literally 100% of the people i know who listened to it are trans#so to be fair it checks out#haha#trans#sabrina's marvelous mind
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one of the most important aspects to be learnt of being a political thinker online, a passive or active viewer of sociopolitical discourses and marginalization, is that just because you find someone to be “wrong” on a subject, have a bad take on a words definition or have shitty political/strategic takes, or just be fucking annoying to you personally, doesn’t make them stop being from the same marginalized group or group-of-groups as yourself. tragically sometimes a comrade-in-arms also just fucking sucks without it being a cishetero bourgeois psyop or a more-particularly-advantaged-yet-still-marginalized-group punching down. like there can be “self-hating” people from demographics actively trying to oppress said demographics but 9 times out of 10 Kaleb from My Discourses isn’t a Dennis Prager rubbing elbows with literal nazis he’s just that dipshit who thinks Judaism as a social category necessitates matrilineal affiliation (even though the people that actively hate Judaism as a social category don’t conceive of it as such). For example I mean.
this should really go without saying but good fucking god my own time in the ‘strangers with a word or two in common trying to kill each other online’ trenches neeeeded
#yes this is about queer community discourse#(most) about anyway i mean. i literally talked about a judaism thing in the post lol#realizing this has felt like a gigantic fucking burden got lifted off my shoulders. like oh yeah sometimes you can just dislike a line#of rhetoric without it being a fucking calamity that invalidates other peoples places in the broader ‘community’.#the fact i can care IS important to some extent but what still matters more is that The -Archs rarely if ever actually care that much#regaurdless of what a sapphic calls themselves they’d still be lit on fire by the deathsquads for degeneracy as much as the rest of us#just because some dipshit thats personally loathsome on an individual scale takes any criticism of the use of ‘queer’ as a personal attack#doesn’t remove the fact that theyre still just as fucking fallible as the rest of us#like this doesn’t remove how i feel about these subjects. some labels are fucking redundant and shitty and yes-actually-invalidating of#other peoples definitions (most importantly MINE hahaa!) but jesus h fucking christ i haven’t seen a ‘bad actor’ on these subjects in years.#it was only ever the discorse itself really that alerted and enabled people to get noteworthily bad about. like#anything. even setting aside vaguing bi lesbian as a label (sorry) EVERY FUCKING DISCOURSE THAT ISN’T ‘hey this person doxxed someone’ or#or ‘hey these are closed fucking religious practices/stereotypes/slurs’ has been like that!!!#ace discourse was a fucking hellscape and i genuinely just don’t think the problems would have happened there on either side if people#actually fucking treated each other like. human beings????#some of THAT came down to trying to compare opressive forces against even the other acronymal identities is a politically disturbing underta#aking in its own right. we can barely talk fucking humanely about the intersections of transphobia abd homophobia throw amatonormativity on#the mix and expecting 2015 tumblr to be civil is like hand ak-47s to middle schoolers. urk.#so basically i’m the smartest and bestest because i can acknowledge and respect my own biases while still recognizing them AS biases and#try to always keep the broader political climate in mind when considering topics that are ‘hot button’ to myself uwu#i’m basically just like noah from the bible i’m so virtuous i’m going to start a big zoo in a boat now
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*2015 voice* i wish i had the chillness instead i got the mental illness
#evidence of life#tw for mental illnesses major distress illness symptoms that aren’t romanticized (lawl) suicide ableism i guess?#idk just a massive tw for what i’ve said in the notes / don’t read if descriptions of mental illnesses bother you etc#////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////#i literally had to mix rubbing alcohol into my body wash then put it all over my body except my hair to stop myself from committing suicide#i’m so serious if there’s one thing i don’t say with my convoluted levels irony it’s suicide whenever i say kms im 100% serious#suicide is literally a constant ideation for me and i just can’t teehee about it ever i think it’s because it is one of the few ways i feel#that i can take total control full autonomy#anyways isn’t crazy traumatic things will happen and we have to just keep going like im literally on tumblr after [redacted]…#also why is my psychosis so obsessed with break ins these days when i was doing my rubbing alcohol scrub it did the break in scenario#like miss girl literally nobody want us that bad take a seat…#anyways this day started out okayish and now it’s literally *burning building in the background*#i wanna try to at least make it possibly kind of better by going to watch the sunset but no promises kinda itching for more rubbing alcohol#anyways slayyyy respectfully i hope this scares off…who it usually does…#like bro i am not a manic pixie dream girl i am not a smol bean with anxiety not a depressed gloomy muse etc#i am [as described by men who thought that i was just another goth bitch with daddy issues that knew all the right moves to make me into#whatever they needed me to be and or thought i was being hyperbolic when i say i am insane in the head and the pussy (as above so below)]#‘crazy crazy’ ‘fucked up’ ‘not worth it [because i am crazy for real]’ ‘[in need for a dude who one course in psychology and thinks that and#his dick are enough to ‘cure me’ ‘weird’ ‘freak’ ‘looney’ (kinda love that one like so true) etc (bc i don’t want to talk abt this anymore)#edit: my temporary icon bothering more than it should rn ughhh bad end all around goodness
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as much as part of me doesn't want to associate my tumblr TOO heavily with my twitch streaming, part of me is entertaining the idea of having a cohesive theme across my platforms and if I was gonna change the current icon/appearance/theme it would just be for all that...
and also in the honor of that anon who said, after sending me a big hunk of anon hate, added "oh wait you're a furry ofc you don't read the news" like maybe I can prevent stupid discourse but simply being way more upfront about the furry vtuber thing lmao
idk @ long time followers and mutuals would you be too heartbroken if I did a mild re-brand? or anyone who has feedback really, I have kinda built my twitch following more or less separate from my tumblr one which is nice, but it does mean I think people here follow me expecting different content than the twitch people(more or less, there is overlap ofc and I am eternally grateful for my tumblr peeps who check out my streams and vice-versa <3) so that's worth considering as well...still the content of my blog wouldn't change AT ALL and I'd still be lastoneout ofc you can pry that username from my cold dead hands, but just my icon and blog theme and stuff?
Yeah, def would appreciate feedback lol
#I just think it would be a nice 'wtf were you expecting you saw my blog' thing#also all the assets I have I drew myself so shrug it is also just using my own art#and I've never really felt brave enough to use my own art for stuff before#and Im def not trying to brag about the furry vtuber thing either I fully talk about it like I'm a court jester#bcs I am#this is also bcs my tumblr following is growing a lot? and Im having more twitch streams with 8-10 veiwers#and this is also literally my job anyway#so idk??? might be nice to have a cohesive.......brand?????#idk how to get more popular online actually#I have no fucking idea why I have nearly 7k followers here#or why I have regular viewers on twitch!!#idk what Im doing at all actually!!
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