lastoneout

[lastoneout]

on watching a parent age

i saw somebody say “what if you’re gone and i haven’t become anything yet” and basically that broke me on a random thursday evening

[lastoneout]

okay wait i take it back. i know I usually talk shit about the met gala, but what can you really say about this year’s theme that isn't just unabashed fawning and praise. the biggest problem with the met gala in years past is the lack of artistry, boldness, and risk that happens when fashion refuses to deviate from white straight hegemony. so, of course this year's met gala is fuckin chewing: it's Black. if it's one thing we can all count on, it's that coleman domingo is gonna have that shit on. of course zendaya came in a zoot suit that hugs every immaculate curve and stretch of her body. of course doechii is a queer fantasy come to life in her cunty little louis vuitton and dandy little cigar. of course meg modeled her hair off josephine baker. leave it to black creatives to create the assignment, earn the highest marks in the class, and serve up an eight-course meal on top of that. this year, the men (of color) clocked in. this year, we have teyana taylor in crimson lapels and diana ross trailing in angelic white like the goddess she is. it's the kind of show that reminds you: what a gift it is to live in a world with black artistry!! what an honor it is to watch how color bounces off deep radiant skin!! what heights art achieves when we give Black artists reign over the canvas, the materials, the gallery!! excellence, excellence, excellence all around!! and white people are also there. wearing clothes.

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thank you trombone champ for this new years bop

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I put Ghost through that shitty MIDI converter online and oh my god

IT LITERALLY SOUNDS LIKE SOMEBODY SLAMMING A PIANO WITH THEIR HEAD WHEN THE BASS KICKS IN

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heres a midi of hips dont lie with a banjo as the vocals

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I was thinking: every sound is made up of sine waves. When you convert an mp3 to a midi, it measures these sine waves and stores their time, pitch  and volume as notes.

So it follows, if you load the midi and play a sine wave for every note, it should reassemble the recording, right?

Yep.

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could you imagine running an mp3 through that awful mp3 to midi converter and back through a midi to mp3 converter

all while eating spaghetti

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5 years ago, I was in Rehab.

10 years ago, I was watching my Potential and Opportunities dissolve and evaporate in an ocean of cheap gin and expensive whiskey.

But 5 years ago, I was in Rehab.

One of the exercises they had us perform was to imagine ourselves happy, 5 years in the future.

Many of us in that room had forgotten how to imagine nice things happening to them. A few snorted (well, I snorted), finding the notion that we’d even still be around in 5 years grimly humorous.

For about half of us, it was the last stop on the way down.

But I indulged the therapist. I was there, after all, because I did not want to die. So, I imagined myself, 5 years hence.

Happy.

It came to me all at once; an artistic remix on Norman Rockwell’s Freedom From Want, reframed with myself placing food at the table.

Sunday Dinner At My Place, I answered, when it came my turn to share my fantasy. I was asked what food I imagined eating.

It’s not the meal itself, I said, it’s the implications framed around it. Sunday Dinner At My Place means that I have a Place. It means that I have Family that will actually speak to me and friends who actually want to see me. It means money enough not just to feed myself but others too. It means having the time to spare to take the time preparing the meal.

A lot of nodding heads all around me. A struck chord. Many people with no Place, in that place. Nowhere that would lament their leaving.

5 years hence, as I lay down to sleep in my Home, with my Wife and my Son, surrounded by my Art and my Flowers, I reflect.

It was a long road. It was hard. We lost people. So many people. There were long days and long nights and hospital stays. Angry arguments with ghosts. I changed, in ways I never hoped for, or expected. Good ways, finally, for once. Slowly, against the backdrop of a world in chaos, I found my mind.

Sometimes, My Wife wondered aloud, what she did to deserve me. After some stumbling with my feelings, I eventually settled on an answer.

I’m a Rescue.

She gave me a Home.

And, so, I gave her a Family.

It seemed fair

This Sunday, my folks, which whom I have not had a shouting match in years, will come over for dinner. We will cook and eat together. My Friend became My Wife, and she took a piece of me and with it she made Our Son. There will be many hugs, and no violence. Good Things Happened.

I don’t know who needs to hear this, but you don’t know what the future holds.

don’t give up yet, ok?

It could get good, even.

[lastoneout]

And then the horror of finding out the game had an issue where if you tried uninstalling it then it could brick your computer! Truly unparalleled.

Toby if it where any other publisher I would have ran away

[lastoneout]

Continue✨ Keep going✨

[lastoneout]

Today's Seal Is: Making Contact With An Unknown Beast

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truly the end goal is not "my close friends aren't annoyed by me and it's all in my head, they're my friends and they love me", it's "sometimes I do annoy my close friends, just as the people I love most will also annoy me sometimes, because this is normal, and we will continue to stay friends, and they're not going to want to immediately cut me out of their life if I do something annoying once in a while"

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I think people no longer understand that "viewer discretion is advised" does not mean "vaguely bad content ahead," it means View At Your Own Discretion. As in, if you see the content going in a direction that is unsuitable for you in any way, it is your responsibility to stop viewing. Don't blame creators for your failure to listen to your own warning signs. Nobody is forcing you to finish the episode, the chapter, the sentence. That's all you.

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somewhere deep in the replies of the dread astrology post there's someone who sincerely asked me how I even know what my own personality traits are if I haven't done introspection with the help of an astrology chart and I really think about that all the time. they presented it like such a gotcha. seemed genuinely certain they were asking s totally reasonable question. absolutely no awareness of the implications of why a structured system of prescribed personality traits might appeal to people with a particularly weak sense of self.

[lastoneout]

I don’t take hints. Throw a rock at me

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