#i had so many plans
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#i am in pain#why did i do this#im a failure#writing struggles#writer problems#i was supposed to write today#writing meme#writer memes#writer humor#inner me#fic reading#why am i like this#i'm sorry#i had so many plans#i was gonna get so much done#and instead#here we are#great#love it#love it so much#chefs kiss#its almost midnight#this was not supposed to happen#siiiiiigh#writer life#writer blog#writers of tumblr#relatable memes#lol memes#meme humor
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dropping this excerpt from another jacemond fic idea i didn't end up developing beyond the summary👉🏻👈🏻
when jace's words come in, stretching across the intimate dip of his hipbones, they are etched deep. a touch of crimson mars the ink, as if his soulmate's fervor would be enough to carve them into jace's skin. they are writ in high valyrian, in the custom of his house and of house velaryon. but the writing is not baela's and, beyond even that, baela would never be so cruel. "i do not regret killing him, not even for you." jace fears the day he finds out who his soulmate is referring to.
#jacemond#((yes aemond is talking abt storm's end if you couldn't tell))#wip#fic idea#drabble#targcest#hides face behind hands#i had so many plans
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Xxx
#sooo#if it wasn't for the tumblrs I follow#and for 1644#I would really want to shoot myself in the head#work is getting awful#just right at the time when I want to do something actually useful#a hobby I was meant to do a long time ago but could start only now#my morale is down#and let's not talk about my finances#oh boy#this is the first time when I actually don't know how I will actually pay for everything this month#i had so many plans#like purchasing that fucking sofa#but I have barely enough money to buy groceries#this is the first time I'm in this situation#and I'm kinda loosing it#I bought books for a lecture#I signed up for a lecture#i was going somewhere with this#and I don't know where I fucked up#so in the last days of the month I probably eat only rice#literally#yay#but also if a train hit me tomorrow I wouldn't complain because what I have to do at work is giving me the depression of a life time
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ah yes yet another beautiful day to feel sad that the self-indulgent series had to end like it did
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Still longing for that coffee date
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i started making a table but realized idk how to work with unwrapping and seams so i have to scrap it and unwrap as i go....
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Guess who isn't going to college ✌️
#i fucking failed#i am not crying yet but i will start soon#i should have studied more#but i guess there's nothing i can do about it now#i am trying to not think about the complications of what happened#i guess i am this family's failure#but people knew that since elementary#i had so many plans
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Charlie’s creation day is Sunday and I have nothing for my beloved child. Truly a terrible mother 😭
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it's extremely critical that you see the photo of the perp walk for luigi mangione as being propaganda. i've seen so many people wave it off and instead fawn over his looks. and trust me, i know it ended up being kind of pathetic and weird - but please don't brush it off as a "modelling opportunity" for him. it's a fucking terrifying message the police are sending.
i want to make a few comparisons here, in case you're not from the US or familiar with why the perp walk thing is something to pay attention to. just to set the groundwork for why this is a purposeful, unusual, and cruel act by the nyc police - for why this is not a common occurrence and for why that matters.
the prosecution alleges the show of force is due to the charge of "terrorism." for comparison, in june 2015, tsarnaev was found guilty for the boston marathon bombing, which killed 3 people and injured hundreds. his actions are considered to be an act of domestic terrorism. i have spent the last hour looking through google for pictures of similar to mangione's perp walk - and so far, i have found zero. i also just do not personally remember a moment like that, despite living in boston at the time.
they allege that luigi is a stone-cold killer who carried out a longterm plan, making him particularly dangerous. again for comparison: in nyc, recently cory martin was found guilty of the killing of brandy odom. the murder was planned and premeditated to steal insurance money. and yet no staged perp walk. why didn't her life matter enough for a "show of force"?
but mangione gets paraded by a veritable army of police officers as if he is a rabid animal. for a single citizen who allegedly killed one other single citizen, the "largest perp walk ever" occurs.
so what is the "strong message" that the mayor and the police were trying to send here? the mayor speaks as if mangione is already convicted of terrorism. there is a very thin number of people who feel threatened by the CEO's death. none of us felt like mangione needs to be under massive armed guard.
the message is that you shouldn't resist. they are trying to "make an example" of him - that if you behave badly and kill a single rich person, you'll be treated as if you killed hundreds of people. you will be treated worse than a man who was found guilty of terrorism. you will be considered guilty without trial. the message is that the rich are a protected class, and you cannot touch them without massive punishment. they are trying to prevent a revolution by showing dominance and force against you.
the message is that the police are a puppet of the wealthy and that the law is not equally applied across class disparity. it is "some are more equal than others." it is "one life is more precious than another."
the show of force wasn't for luigi. it was for us. it was a warning. they are trying to remind us who is really in control.
#i bring up tsarnev only bc i feel like people DID want blood. i lived in boston. people wanted to rip him apart.#i do not personally remember a moment where he was paraded around like that. and the fact we gave more dignity to him#than luigi .... is startling.#and i just realized last night i was like - i don't really remember a perp walk like that. maybe im misremembering#but i went to google and i was like. wait why the fuck was it so fucking big.#it WASNT a random act of terror. it WASNT to injure/kill as many as possible.#even if we consider it to be premeditated murder: when have we ever done this.#so brandy's life didnt deserve “a show of force?”#the mayor doesn't say ''our city wont stand for this'' when it's a planned murder for insurance money????#anyway . ur not immune etc etc etc#but i also wanted the comparisons in here in case ppl aren't from amercia etc#this ISNT normal or usual. this was overkill by like a million#on the other hand they gotta do this bc they're scared :)#i kept this bc i had ppl ask me not to delete this but i just felt like#it wasn't really poetry just talkin
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I will reach out regarding my starter call (if you liked it today) probably tomorrow or Monday. I’m having a horrible time ™ rn since my mood plummeted into the core of the earth. I’ll be unreachable on here tonight - spotty on discord.
#sticks and stones; ooc#i had so many plans#and yet - here I am#sobbing ™#vent tw#probably will delete later
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#i was supposed to get a deposit from my college for a scholarship and last semester it was almost 2k#i got so excited but today i got it and it wasnt even $200#i know that my dad technically makes a ton of money but we have medical debt and legal bills and i am living off of fucking ramen#during the school semester#i was so fucking excited for that 2k#i had so many plans#i was going to find roommates and find an apartment#i was going to finally not be living in a fucking tent on a cot#the baseline for my anxiey has had me on the edge of a panic attack 24/7 for the last few weeks#and ive been so fucking quick to anger and irritation#im a fucking mess
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me: has felt like pure shit for the past three days, kept wondering what was wrong and blaming it on my cold
my period today: surprise bitch, you forgot to check the calendar!!
#curse my fucking organs why did pms have to ruin the last long weekend of the year for me#I had so many plans#I was gonna write and clean and go see a play#😭😭😭😭#alex txt
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today is one of the worst days I've ever had.
Instead of self harm, I wrote a my chem lyric on each arm.
Kind of cringe, but I don't care
#This is about the election#I had a FUTURE#I had so many plans#But what now?#I can't grow up to be the person I know I am#All because this country is so ass backwards they elected a criminal to office#A criminal who will take away my rights both as a trans man AND as someone who was assigned female at birth#And I'm not even old enough to vote#I am entirely blameless#I did NOTHING but exist#And here we are
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Thought I was on holiday next week for my birthday but it looks like I haven't actually booked it off...
#I'm going to be so pissed if i've actually forgotten to take it off#i had so many plans#it means i won't get a holiday until after april
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Mystra showed him the secrets beneath the veils. The gossamer veils first, draped across the Weave. The delicate veils next, draped across her body. 'Chosen One' she whispered, as she slipped them off completely.
poor gale :'(
- the dialogue is from ea gale's explanation about his folly
- i kinda like that she ended up looking like a mother-of-pearl inlay lacquerware!
- oh this was a subconscious choice, but Gale is sitting in seiza which is a posture for showing respect especially to elders. it's also known to be a painful position to sit in for extended periods of time, which is why it was sometimes used as a method of (morally dubious) punishment. however, experienced people can maintain this posture for much longer. food for thought :-)
- (edit: deleted this point bcs it didn't really make sense + detracted from the art a little;;)
#also had other companion drawings w gale and mystra planned for this but none of them are complete... perhaps another day#mystra#baldur's gate 3#bg3#bg3 fanart#gale of waterdeep#gale dekarios#my art#hm i dont have many opportunities to share my mystra thoughts so!#mystra is incredibly difficult to redesign and draw! I want to give her a fantastical element to her while retaining her austere aloofness#(her unassuming design is actually surprisingly effective in making her seem so effortlessly powerful)#I love spiderweb imagery and braids(weave) for her but braids make her seem so... kind? very soft? i'll try again another day...#is this seriously my last post of 2023. goddamn
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XII - The Hanged Man, Upright: surrender, sacrifice, faith, perspective
#hsr aventurine#Penacony#2.1 spoilers#honkai star rail#fanart#everyone's new favorite sad boy#i am no exception#i haven't had the fanart bug this bad since Zhongli#what is it with hoyoverse and creating men perfectly tailored to my tastes??#i can't#i had no plans on drawing him or his intricately complex outfit#but then i had a thought#on how well this card fit him#and then i was doomed...#tarot cards#tarot#the hanged man#(no he's not dead. i really dont get why so many people think he's dead)#my art
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