#i got so excited but today i got it and it wasnt even $200

[revenge-of-the-assbutt]

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[directivexero]

don't give up on fighting games, fighting games won't give up on you

I wanted to make a follow up post to my big spiel from the other night, because tonight really put things into perspective for me. strap in everyone, this is a long one

I played in the PRIDEFGC Strive bracket today, and I got absolutely rinsed. but it didn't feel bad, I lost and it didn't feel bad for the first time in a *looooong* time. In fact, I felt incredible about how i played today. round 2 in losers was against another Sol, and i lost because they were very patient and taking advantage of space and whiff punishing me for everything. but also, my pressure on offense was really good and I managed to take a round off of them! and round 1 was special, and something so important to me and to fighting games as a whole

my round 1 was a bit of a mess, online brackets are never perfect. start.gg in particular is a real stickler for checking in on time and DQ'ing people bc they didnt get an email or a discord notification immediately. it happens, and it gets worse the bigger the bracket, and it was a massive bracket. something like 2 40ish player pools? that's huge for an online *charity* event, its bigger than some locals.

I was really upset about this at first. i was feeling myself today. taking yesterday off to just vibe, eat a decent bento box from my local japanese restaurant and play a bunch of DBD was a really good break for me. and i woke up this morning, nearly forgetting that i had signed up. i was signed up for a bracket last night, my online local Dust Up, but i had been timed out from the server for being a real shithead to myself and generally being unhappy with fighting games, because i had mentally tied my self worth to them without realizing it. but today was different.

I got some work done, got my stream schedule up for the week, played some more DBD (with friends this time) and just enjoyed a nice day. and then I got the email for the bracket and was like "oh shit right, i should probably show up for that". so i booted up Strive and hopped into training mode to warm up. and you know what? that combo that i had been struggling with? the one that took me almost 200 times to get right just the once? i got it on my first try, with the Clean Hit Tyrant Rave even! and while i couldnt replicate the clean hit again, i got the combo 20 more times in a row without a single drop

and this was a real shock to me. i didnt play at all yesterday, and i felt like i wasnt getting anywhere with the game. i was considering even swapping characters again to see if there was something that i was missing, to see if there was some fun i could have somewhere else. but in the end, i dont think i need it anymore. what I really needed, and what everyone was telling me and what i refused to hear, was that i just needed to give myself some room to breathe. taking a *single* day off made me more consistent with this combo, it just gave it time to rest and settle into my brain and hands. it's all i needed, and it was right in front of me the entire time. i just couldnt get it through my head

after this revelation, and was FUCKING *STOKED* to get into bracket. I saw who my first opponent was, Hazel. i recognized the name, they had taken second in the Granblue bracket last night. they were so exciting to watch, i was rooting for them the whole time! how could i not? they were playing my wife Narmaya, i wanted them to win so badly. and after an INCREDIBLE grand finals, they ended up in second. i was a little sad to see them not make it all the way, but I was so thrilled to see such good gameplay last night, and I knew I was gonna get some good games from them today

so we got the whole bracket situated, i messaged her on discord to make sure we were still able to play, got it sorted with a TO and met up in the park. they pulled up with a level 800 Bedman? and i was so excited. it was, a strange feeling, being in bracket, seeing a player i knew was a monster pull up with a character 700 levels above mine, and to be *this* ecstatic to be squaring up. and I have no idea how to play against the bed. nobody plays this guy. and i went in expecting to get rinsed. which i did! but it wasn't actually all that bad on the surface. I managed to block the overhead jump-in for the first time *ever* tonight, and I did it 5 more times over the course of the set. i still got blown up for not blocking the slow overhead and bedman's lows are deceptively far-reaching, and i just wasn't sure how to adapt to those. but that's okay! i did some very good things today, and my pressure was clean enough to take a round off of this very high level player. im so proud of what ive done, and im happy that ive finally escaped the fog that was clouding my mind for so long

and after bracket, i got up, refilled my drink, and hopped into the tower. i was *hungry* for more games. and I got smoked by a Slayer. just absolutely rinsed. but! i caught on to their tricks pretty early, and started to 6S more often than i ever had, and got a lot of counterhits! slowly getting a feel for that matchup, even reading how they follow up after Dandy step and punishing it accordingly. i also got a ping in BAN from RKP, one of the TOs there, looking for games. i responded almost immediately, i wanted to scrap more. they asked for a ft5 at first, but wanted to know if i wanted a ft10. i declined, because i could tell that i was reaching my limit. another step towards progress!

he met me in the park, asking to take player 2 bc he wanted to work on player 2 side inputs. we both pulled up looking to work on stuff, as i wanted to try to implement some of the whiff punishing i was just subjected to by that Sol player. and I got rinsed *again*. but! I landed my corner combo!!! (almost, dropped the HVV at the end, but its still progress) and I also did the correct follow-up after the counter-hit meaty Fafnir setup for the first time! i was so happy, RKP is so fucking good at this game and an incredibly nice person as well. grappler players play like sickos, but they're so sweet in reality.

and this is what its all about. i love fighting games so much. no other community, no other hobby, no other sport will you get camaraderie like this. you won't get this anywhere else. the passion, the love, the friendships. you won't get it anywhere else. everyone's gonna have their bad days, their bad weeks, sometimes even their bad months. but if you just take a breath, take a few steps back, make sure you've taken care of yourself, it will all be okay.

don't give up on fighting games, because no matter what, they won't give up on you

[vicea]

dream merch discord recap (june 12, 2021) - disclaimer: i may have missed some things or mistakenly heard other things, apologies in advanced for that!

he has not played the new minecraft update

dream “knows” the date george is coming to florida but he’s not saying it :p

dream doesn’t have anyone muted on twitter

dream guesses his favorite disney princess is belle

sapnap has seen dream’s feet before

he’s not actually connor’s dad in the dsmp lore

dreamnap do not have nicknames for each other D:

dream likes olives but especially black olives

his mother makes homemade pickles

he doesn’t have a phone case

he has dropped his phone from his ear onto concrete in the parking lot before and the screen didn’t crack

dream has six fingers /j

he pours cereal first not milk when making cereal

dream calls sapnap nick most of the time :D

what’s your dream car? “idk the one that gets me to point A to point B consistently”

he finally fixed his sleep schedule, woke up at 8 am today

mrbeast owes dream a tesla because he never sent dream the audio file

dream is a very analytical person - he thinks with numbers/data

creativity is one his strengths that he is the most proud of

3 to 4 years ago, dream used to say george looks like shawn mendes a lot, now he doesn’t resemble him as much

patches is currently sleeping <3

swimming is very relaxing to dream, he swam the other day!

many houses in florida have pools than other places, even the cheapest houses in orlando have pools

dream has merchendise defects (misprints on merch) + milestone merch and he wants to give them away to those who live in orlando (probably to anyone but the event will be held in orlando) though he doesn’t want it to be a covid super-spreader thing so once you pick up your item you gotta dip. just all an idea though

he has been donating them to charity too though :)

dream has likely read Heroes of Olympus before a long time ago

he says that he’ll do a give away of his childhood books with his signature on it

he was obsessed with the series (Percy Jackson) 

he really liked the Alex Rider series

has all of Maximum Ride books, 39 clues books

has read the legend series, the twilight series, and the maze runner

has all/read of the harry potter books, divergent, eragon

he would read all the time, to the point he would read more than one book a day (a book worm he says)

dream had a goal to read 200 books in a year and he wind up reading about 150

he doesn’t want to call it a library but- growing up he had something like that that had 600 or 700 or more books in it (privileged he admits it)

he has not read a book since he started youtube (about 2 years)

dream has a folder called Book that has his own writing in it

word count: 76000 words for one of his stories 

another one he wrote 5 chapters of

he sounds very excited/embarrassed talking about the stories he wrote he’s so endearing

the very first paragraph of one of his stories (he was young when he wrote this) “What exactly is darkness? is it the lack of light? is it a pit of nothingness? ... your mind is full of darkness...” then he couldn’t continue.

the story is about a kid who wakes up in a cell and has no idea where he is with other people who are in the same situation

dream has a world building document

he has a sequel to the first book he has ever written

he found a query letter that he wrote because he wanted to get his book published- he finds it very funny

he’s calling himself a nerd but idk it’s kind of endearing

“as you can tell i’ve always been incredibly cool and not a nerd at all! ever.”

he cringes at his own old videos

dream took a lot of inspiration from witches and wizards by james patterson for writing

the story is written in a way where the main character is actually writing the story so you’re getting input from the main character during it. there’s a lot of sarcasm in it and it’s making dream laugh

very first person narrator

he feels like it’d be very cool if he were to publish his works he wrote when he was 16 on amazon or something but he probably never would because he’d have to read through all of it and it’s just embarrassing for him

dream used to video call sapnap fairly frequently- even before youtube

he strictly remembers, a very long time (at least 7 to 9 years) ago he was at his old childhood house he video called sapnap. he was wearing a (technically) suit and he remembers specifically that he was giving sap a tour... 

“snazzy in a suit”

he had no reason to put on the suit (wow time is a flat circle huh)

drista is pretty close to sapnap’s height, she’s like 5′7″ but sap is still taller than her

dream filmed the whole thing when he and sapnap met but... it’s... gone because when he was clipping that one clip for twitter... it edited the whole video

he’s sure when they meet up with george they will film that too :D

DREAM IS PRETTY SURE THAT HE AND GEORGE WILL MEET THIS YEAR-- HE SAYS A 95% CERTAINTITY the five percent is like either restrictions or visa issues

dream does not play any instruments but he had a guitar hanging on his wall when he was younger...

dream is convinced they’re the same height but also sapnap is probably taller??

they had george compare his height to a door frame and dreamnap were googling for any doorframes to find any possible chance that george is taller than 5′8″ ... nothing came up

there’s a chance they’re both lying about being 5′8″

sap and george will literally just show up in stilts to prove they’re taller than each other /j

dream without shoes is between 6′2″ and 6′3″ with shoes he’s 6′3.5″

dream is talking about awesamdude’s fake height arc again LOL

dreamnap are very private people so they don’t bother each other but george doesn’t care and would just barge into their rooms and start bothering them- they were all joking about that over a voice call

he will visit europe

he thinks that greece would be a cool place to visit because sapnap’s family is from there :) so it’ll be like a nice “treat” to go back with sap :D

dream isn’t entirely sure that the dream team meet up will happen this year but he’s working out the details because he wants to make sure it’s safe

he’s talking to youtube about his face reveal

it’s up to george if he wants to eat healthy when they finally move in

dream just has a lot of meat and vegetables in his house

spinach with chicken is good

not much fruit (only apples and tomatoes)

“DRISTA IS 5″ is trending on twitter LOL (her height got cut off)

dream doesn’t want people flying to different places because he doesn’t want to encourage travel so he wants to do all of the meet ups with a two day heads up at most

he thinks that it’s awesome that ranboo and tubbo are meeting soon !! :D

it’s very cool to dream to see how far everyone’s has come since the beginning of the dsmp. everyone has done so much

dream finalized his youtube plan a couple weeks before he uploaded his video and he was talking to drista about how he was gonna be a big youtuber in a parking lot :”)

she was the first person he really ever talked to about it

dream would love to teach george how to drive it’d be really funny :D (a very good video or a livestream idea) 

dream knows how to ride a bike, he used to have to bike to school

he can’t explain dnf.gay he has no clue he is not responsible. sapnap was the one who found it LOL. he is adamantly exclaiming that it was not him

dream doesn’t worry about views/likes/dislikes a lot- mainly views but that’s for the new uploads

he hasn’t uploaded in like a month and a half (*cries*)

he wants to stream at some point but he doesn’t know when 

he wants to play geoguessr but not now... he doesn’t want to alt stream rn- maybe tomorrow!

he is insisting that the splash text on his minecraft home screen is by callahan

he asked callahan to send him bunch of text files that are dream team related so that the splash can rotate through it but callahan thought it was funny (it is) to put only dreamnotfound <3 so it doesn’t ever change at all and dream doesn’t even know how to change and he has asked callahan to change it but he said no (even though dream pays him LMAO)

the video referenced in the padilla’s video is still in the works, it might be handed over to sapnap though !

he has no idea if he will be in MCC pride yet

padilla got dream’s input for the video, dream found him to be a very nice guy ! :) it’s the first interview that dream did that wasn’t by a person with a negative opinion of dream

dream felt relaxed doing the interview with padilla 

?????? he’s blaming callahan for his “dnfisreal” nickname in bedwars 

he’s blaming callahan for a lot of dnf-related stuff

callahan runs the dream fanart account thus the liking of dnf content

he’s so insistent that it was callahan

dream admits that he was lying about the twitter and other stuff but for sure callahan did code the splash text in LOL

dream liking that tweet “the chances of george doing a hot tub stream is the same of dnf dating” was “funny” he wasnt trying to do any commentary...

the inside joke of “oh it’s all just a joke to you” originates from george and sapnap actually always fighting (like them yelling and shouting at each other) and george said something really mean and sapnap was hurt then geroge said “it was just a joke” and sapnap replied with that line and ever since then it’s been a meme LOL

he says that everyone does the hand-on-the-passenger-seat-while-reversing thing

dream is offline raiding with his chat with 6k people

dream appreciates us and will talk to us soon! 

[gardenburger]

lmao i am honestly aghast right now this girl (we’ll call moocher) that my best friend/ex wife (we’ll call jelly) and i both know (they’re a lot closer than moocher is with me) has been borrowing money from jelly for like a year, first it was for fertility treatments (this might be harsh but if you cant pay for fertility treatments how do you plan to pay for a child? im not trying to judge but it doesnt make sense to me) and then more recently (this monday) it was to help take care of her dad who is in the hospital due to covid. i’ve always considered moocher a perfectly lovely person; despite me not knowing her super well weve attended concerts together and she and jelly have been good friends for years and obvs jelly and i are very close so it’s not like we’re strangers and we’ve never had any issue whatsoever. so i did not expect this.

anyway, she already owed jelly about $300-$400 from last may; jelly wasn’t like pressed about it but she remembered it. then this monday moocher asked for another $450 for her dad. jelly, being the kindest person ive ever met, says im so sorry i don’t have that much to give but i can spot you $200.

cut to today. this girl posts right on facebook for all to see that she spent 5 hours in the ticket waiting room for “when we were young” fest tickets. which from my understanding were ~$300 off the bat, not including the $80 processing fees and anything else livenation may have tacked on. im relatively sure she got tickets for both her and her husband. so that’s what now almost $800 that she spent just today on something completely unnecessary! and they haven’t even bought plane tickets/hotel reservations/rental car, etc yet; that’s going to run them at least another $1k if not more.

jelly of course was upset. she texted me and another friend and we drafted a text to send to this girl. nothing mean, just expressing that jelly was a bit hurt and felt taken advantage of.

this girl deletes her fb post, texts jelly back and says she wasnt buying tickets and was just excited about the lineup (bullshit - i saw the post, she was complaining about the wait time to get tickets!) and proceeds to compose the most toxic, guilt tripping bullshit text ive ever seen, talking about how she feels so bad and she’ll never ask jelly for help again and she’s dealing with so much and proceeds to list it all out and sends jelly pictures of her dads x-ray results and says how stressed and suicidal she is and i’m just like ……what are you doing! you got caught, you hurt your friend, and now you’re trying to make her feel worse??? this is not ok!

i am just so shocked that someone could fathom doing something like this! especially to jelly, she is the kindest most genuine and loving person i have ever known and would give anyone the shirt off her back and it just makes me so mad 😤 like obviously everyone wants to go see mcr and the used reunited under one roof it’s a goddamned miracle but to drop $800+ on something completely frivolous when you owe your supposed “best friend” over $500 is just insane to me.

ok /end rant if the like 3 irl friends i have on here know who im referring to please keep it to yourselves im not tryna stir anything up or whatever im just venting bc y’all know how protective i am of jelly and it just steams me when people don’t treat her right 😒

[wildewebdesign-blog]

My weight loss journey

 This was me at the beginning of my journey

December 2018 I decided to stand on the scales to see just how heavy I was, and my god I was horrified by the digits I saw! Thats when my love/hate relationship with the weighing scales took a turn for the better. I then decided that my new years resolution would be to lose some weight and get in to shape! So, on the 1st of January 2019 I did just that!

I started to eat healthier and make healthier choices at first but my mindset on food remained the same, which as we all know (for those that have a food addiction) is a real pain in the backside as we just hate wasting food or leaving leftovers. I mean being a few pounds away from twenty nine stone wasnt good for me, my health or my amazing wife who has supported me throughout my entire journey so far! The first step was to cut my portion size down bit by bit so it wasnt a drastic change, stop having takeaways and give myself one day of the week where I could eat something naughty to help curve the cravings for the rest of the week (didn’t go so well, ate like a pig on crap food!) So, I limited myself eventually but that bit comes later in my story! The first week I had lost almost half a stone and was feeling on top of the world! I never thought I could lose weight, as I always gave up after a month or so, this time however I was determined to stick it out. I had an appointment with the doctors, can’t remember what for but the results from a blood test showed I was ALMOST pre-diabetic, so even more important to shift the weight! By going along with most of the official Slimming World guidelines and rules (didn’t go to meetings, not my thing!) I found it easier at first, but figured out very quickly that it had its limitations as some things may work for others but not for me so, I made some tweaks to it, first off, its not a diet. Its a way of life! That bit is very important as if its a diet, you can quit at anytime, whereas if it is a part of daily life, you can’t!

After four months of eating healthier, being a little more active I had a follow up appointment with my GP who actually referred me to the gym, which to be fair I was a little anxious about, I mean the stigma around gyms is they are full of muscular, skinny people but, I found they weren't! Others like me doing their best to shed a few pounds. I will admit, I got addicted to the endorphins and the rush you get afterwards! Oh did I mention that before I started in the gym I had lost three and a half stone already?

Those of you that are on Slimming World and are buying SW chips, or par boiling homemade chips… DON’T DO IT! There is a better way! Handy trick for you, you can either peel them or keep the skin on, but slice your potatoes into chips, spray an oven tray with enough frylight to coat the tray, place the chips on, salt/pepper them and spray more frylight on top to make them crispy and place in the oven at 200 degrees Celsius for half an hour (depending on how you like them) and they are gorgeous! Healthy chips without all the faff!

  Ok so, I left off last time after mentioning about my first visit to the gym. This was a whole new area of the world I hadn’t previously explored and was completely clueless! I knew how to use the bike and the treadmill but that was it. The fitness instructor I was assigned to was very inviting and kind, and always paid me compliments which helped boost my confidence whilst in the gym. I started on the TRX, bike, treadmill and squats to start with so, basically all cardio. Which I found relaxing to be fair. It got me into a routine, which I highly recommend for weight loss! Routine is one of the main things that has helped me get this far! Food routine and daily routine. After all, your body stores fat when you have irregular eating patterns as it doesn't know when it will be fed next. Sorry I digressed a little there.

 I found that once I am in the gym, headphones in and my favourite music playing I was in the zone, where I could push myself each week to work harder, do more and improve the statistics on my account to show myself I am capable of doing it. At this point I was only attending the gym twice per week. I did this for six months and had lost a total of six and a half stone at this point. I even lost weight over Christmas!

 Things changed in May 2020 thanks to the Corona Virus pandemic, where all the gyms, swimming pools etc all closed, so this is where I had to get creative to continue the weight loss and not just sit at home eating crap because I was stuck inside. So I headed over to Youtube and found one or two easy workout videos which I did every day, I was seeing great results! Losing more than I did whilst in the gym and feeling more energetic. I moved on to the video I still use every day today, Emi Wong 30 minute minute HIIT workout with no jumping. Not quite beginner but still a great workout, it has helped me get to the point where at this moment in time (04/06/2020) I am a pound away from a nine and a half stone loss! This is the part of my story where I can share some of the tricks I have used in order to get this far. Most of which are easy enough to do, but some will require self control and a great mental attitude!

 This is me now, weighing 19.2 stone! 

  1) Routine, as mentioned above this helps you to stay the course and also allows you more freedom if that makes any sense?

2) Drink plenty of water, this in turn helps the skin retain its elasticity which helps your skin bounce back instead of having saggy, loose skin afterwards.

 3) Eating meals which are healthy, but can be made exciting using herbs and spices to spruce them up a little, you can still have whatever you want but portion control is a must. I still eat sausages but they are Linda McCartney vegetarian sausages.

 4) Keep active, says it all really. No explanation needed.

 5) Change the way you think about food. Before I started this journey I LOVED pizza and now everytime I think about eating a slice I feel physically sick!

 6) Three square meals a day at regular times, for example everyday I have two weetabix, blueberries, grapes, raspberries and strawberries for breakfast. Then I have lettuce, cucumber, cheese and ham sandwiches for dinner and for the main meal I tend to go for gammon (fat removed), broccoli and the chips I mentioned above. I don’t get hungry during the day doing this, so im not liable to eat more than I should.

 7) Don’t be afraid to ask for help! People that want to see you in the best shape of your life are more than willing to help! NEVER be ashamed or afraid if you get tempted or have cheated by eating something you shouldn't have, we all do it! At the end of the day its your body, your choices and your life!

  So that is my story so far. Any questions? Want somewhere to start yourself? Feel free to comment below and I will answer when I can as my wife and I run two small businesses. One is a website design business called www.wildewebdesign.co.uk and the other is a craft business called www.wildeaboutcrafts.co.uk feel free to take a look :)

[drfeelgood-21]

The past 5 Years...

I feel like some of you should know where i have been these last 5 horrid years, and it took me a long time to actually come to terms with writing this post. But here we go      Back in 2013 i joined Tumblr,made friends, made posts, and learned about some amazing music. MY journey for Metal had just begun. Fast forward 2 years, Im now running a successful metal/rock blog with a side of whatever the fuck i like. I had many friends that i would chat with on the daily through Snap,Facebook, and kik. I was there for many of you as you were there for me. I graduated High school and had a job. I was going into College. My hometown Uni that I always dreamed of going to. I was excited and this sets forth the downfall of my life... Part 2: 2016 hits, Im still getting over the emotions of The Force Awakens (Star Wars FTW) Type O Negative grew on me hard, and i started a smoking addiction to cigars. My energy drink addiction mixed in with that. Full time college and a full time job were hell but i managed. My grades were great, the financial stress wasnt. I was Paying for Uni out of pocket and it lead to some hard times. May came along and well I found myself a girlfriend who ended up cheating on me. I partied hard with friends, got drunk, did some insane shit and even hosted a party with my bestfriend Scott that got over 200 people to show up.  The end of Summer approached and I found this bright eyed beautil woman named Natasha. I fell hard. The only issue was, i was her Manager and i told myself to not do it. Luckily for me i was already applying for new jobs and was picked up by a huge branded Franchise company so we started dating.....Little did i know at the time i was helping her cheat. Little did i know this was her game. We spent the next two years “In Love” by this it was a blind game of abuse and manipulation. She scarred me so bad that i thought i was a narcissistic asshole. She found out about my use of tumblr and made me delete it and take off every single friend of mine from here. One night she slapped my face to awaken me and ask who Emily was ( a friend from tumblr long ago) She was jealous of a message i had sent Emily back in 2015 ( this ould be a good time to mention its January 2017)   I didnt see abuse at all. I could only see me trying better every day for her, but she was never happy. She constantly needed sex, constantly needed love, amd had trouble not being with me. At the time i of course enjoyed it because i thought it was love. I ended up getting an apartment with her late 2017.. We lived together till June 2018....I broke up with her She cost me the following -Best friendship with Scott -Friendship with anyone i talked to on social media ( Alot of you) -My college career -She spiked my depression - Made me feel like i should kill myself -Connection with family members - Trust -Connection with others I know that this post will probably summon that anon that hit right after the break up but just Fuck off.    I was angry ,depressed, and really fucking suicidal, I got injured at work and couldnt move for 2 weeks. (Dislocated my knee) But when i got back to work, i got a message from an old friend who just used me for sex,  so that happened.. 2018 sucked except for starting to branch out into the local clubs. 2019 Though....That was the year of rebuild. Worked my ass off at work and on myself. Figured out a lot of stuff, made New Amazing friends. Started back up old friendships and got my own Duplex so life in 2019 wasnt bad but i will admit i was drinking through a lot of it. 2020 had a slow start. But in the end of January this one girl approached my friend group and asked if she could dance with us. Of course i said, and we actually spent the rest of the night all together and she attached herself to my best friend Amber.  We spent at least an hour talking about Emo bands and style, until she got picked up by a friend.     I had her snap though and decided to message her the next day and tell her it was great to meet you we should hang out again soon. I was Nervous, i hadnt done something like this for four years... When she said yes to hanging out again my heart skipped, It wasnt officially a date but it was interest. We hung out a couple more times and i know i told her i liked her the second time, but i started liking her when she said “ you’re making me break my stoic reputation”     February 1st the morning after we went out again, i asked her to be mine...It was fast but i really hadnt felt this way since 4 years ago....One things for sure though..every time im with her the feeling grows stronger even though i did shut myself down. Its jsut scary how comfortable i am around her because i feel so vulnerable and i dont know if its just me getting my trust back, but I do know that im in love with her. Shes beautiful in so many ways and helps me rediscover who i am..what I stand for. I wanted to tell her that i love her after a nice actual dinner date...I had it planned.. But this Covid bullshit made me rush it. I had to tell her before she visited her parents back home.... little did we know at the time that she would be back home sooner than expected. I was at work when her dad surprisingly picked her up and made her move back home to Quarantine from this fucking virus. I sure as hell felt numb reading the letter she left me.  These are weird and hard times, and its sucked this past week. I cant get my mind to shut off, im stressed, i go to work,  i take care of family. Im Feeling drained and exhausted, but one thought of her and it all goes away.. I miss her. I just want to see her and hold her. Today was probably the worst day ive had in a long time....Im not doing well but im back Tumblr , to all whom even care anymore. Thanks for sticking around

[pbandjesse]

Today was a much better day. Emotionally I waa much happier. And that lead to a much better day.

I still wasnt thrilled to wake up. But I felt cute. And James made me a sandwich and packed me a muffin. Made me feel loved. But I didn't want to go anywhere. I wanted to be home. But Marcus messaged me that he was staying home. So I could not. I needed to go. It would be good for me to be there with the kids.

I got the bus after a nice bike ride. And got to work on time. I spent the morning doing a little painting for our mural. And then down to see the kids.

Emotionally I could feel myself being better today. So when i had the kids sitting down for yoga, both little kids and big kids, I explained to them my feelings, and how I may have been harsh yesterday. And so i apologized. Because they should hear that adults can own up to mistakes and ackowlege bad days. And we had a good yoga time. The big kids enjoyed ballet. At least most of them. It was still nice.

Art time was fun. I walked around with Bob the lizard on my shoulder. Which freaked all the adults out and made the kids laugh. And we painted and me and Tiffany worked on cleaning the room. The kids who were done helped organize. We sorted paper by color for next weeks project. The youth workers washed containers and fixed up our water color pallets. It was a productive morning.

We had some good times in reading. Lunch was good. At recess poor Bre'Asia rolled over her foot on the skateboard and there were a lot of tears. But I talked her down. I felt bad that she got hurt but I felt proud that she calmed down and we got some ice and worked on some breathing. She was limping a little but she'll be okay.

First time with the big kids I decide we were finally actually going to do some math. Mostly because one of the boys had have jokingly complained that we had only done science Technology and Engineering. Fair. I'm not very good at math. But what I am good at is budgeting. So that's what we did.

I reduce the concept of Economics to the kids. What is an economy. And then we figure it out how someone survives everyday. I asked the kids if any of them ever had a job. I had someone who said that they had mowed lawns or shovel snow. So they were landscapers. We had people who were babysitters. We had someone who had sold something at a bake sale so they were Baker now. We also had trash collectors. Because that's something that I have discovered is a thing in Baltimore. People who pay kids in the neighborhood to clean up. And that's really nice. So I made up prices. Or salaries. We went by the hour first. But before they found out what the pay was they all had to pick a job. They got an index card and they had to write down one of those for jobs on their next car. I didn't want them to pick the job that pay the most. So my landscapers made the most. And my babysitter's made the least. Trash collectors were up there as well and Bakers had two different pay scales. You were either an owner or you work at the bakery. It was only a $5 difference.

Once they had all chosen that we had to figure out what our daily pay was. They took their hourly rate and they times 2 by 8. And then once they have that we had a big r weekly. So they times that by 5. And then we got to figure it out monthly. So we did it by 4. Lot of math.

Then we talked about once and needs. What is a want and what doesn't eat. I basically gave my speech that I give at The Company Store at the BMI. And then I signed prices two things. You spend $200 a month on food. You can spend $50 to $100 a month on clothing. And then you got to choose if you live in a house or apartment or mansion. You chose if you rented or owned. And then I told you how much you paid.

At the end are trash collectors had a good amount of money left over if they own to their house and only spent $50 a month on clothing. No one who had a mansion have any left over money. Most of them were negative $2,000. Whatever babysitters have $50 left over and one had five. It was really interesting to see how they would choose to spend to their needs budget and what they would have left over for a want. I think it kind of opened up their eyes a little bit and that was cool. But we didn't talk about taxes in our math. So we talked about what is attacks why do they take 35 to 45% of our paychecks. Talked about how it pays for public school and the roads and the fire department and homeless shelters and services. How taxes are not a bad thing even though they can feel annoying. Let me talk about minimum wage. I had all of the people that we're getting paid on our board at base level Maryland minimum wage and then it only went up from there. But then we talked about what federal minimum wages. How it hasn't changed since I had my first job in 2009. How even though they're talkin about raising it to $15 an hour it's going to have the same spending power as $7.25. And why that sucks.

People always complain that I never learned how to do a budget or pay taxes in school. Never really learned all taxes were. And I think that's fair. So it was good to be able to talk to my kids today even though they're only between the ages of 10 and 13. I think it was good for them to start thinking about it.

I went took my break after that. Mackenzie was very upset about something so she came inside with me. We both just laid on the couch has listen to her headphones. The day was over. I finished up with little kids. Handed out snacks. Cleaned the room. And then I took everyone downstairs to go home.

James texted me that the landlady for the apartment that we want finally got back to her. The holdup has been that his apartment is not answering her phone calls. She's trying to get some background information and get some contacts on him and they're just not answering. I'm not shocked because they don't seem to answer for anything. The hole-in-the-wall, leaking shower. Annoying but I think she is going to try one more time and if she doesn't hear anything back she's probably just going to go off of my stuff and jobs and things like that. And it's not definite but I think we have the apartment. I told James I'm not going to believe we have it until the keys are in my hand. And if we don't get it I'll be sad but that just means somewhere better is out there.

I took the bus home. I stopped for Chipotle. I got it without sour cream so that I could more easily packet for tomorrow on our field trip. I got back here and I ate my tacos. And packed away the food. I did some sewing. The quilt is almost finished. There's a couple places I'm going to have to hand sew because of where the beads are. But most of it's complete. I only cut myself on sewing needles four times today. I worked until my back hurt. And then I hung out for a bit.

James is at a dinner with all of his boyfriends. I hope he's having a good time. I had a panic because sweet peas mouth is still very swollen so I tried to give him a Benadryl and he started foaming at the mouth and crying and I thought he was choking it was really upsetting. But he's okay. I gave him some milk to get the taste out of his mouth. And I took a bath and tried to calm down. And now I'm going to work on my backpack for the field trip tomorrow. We are going to a ropes course. We're driving almost all the way to Virginia. I think. I'm not entirely sure where we're going. But I'm very excited. And it seems like only about half of our kids are actually coming so it maybe it'll just be like a nice chill day. Love a chill day.

So wish me luck. I am terribly afraid of heights so a Ropes Course in the trees is terrifying. But it'll be a good time. I love being in nature. But I love being with my kids. So it should be good. I hope you all have a great night. Sleep well. Be safe. Send Good Vibes.

[beyainica-blog]

Guess who’s in the 230’s?

A bit bittersweet considering I could have been this weight monday. But I will take it and stop beating myself up.

I am literally 9lbs away from the 220’s. 13 days left until valentines day.

My goal is to get to 220 on valentines. I mean I want to be lower but I will take that. I’m 18lbs away with 13 days left. I need to lose 1.4lbs a day for 13 days to get there. I think I can do it.

Lets start with the bad.

Heart?

Even though I only workout 7-14 mins every day I have been STRUGGLING to get through my workouts. Like it takes me an hour at the gym to complete 14 min workouts. I have no idea what it could be. It honestly could be a whole host of things. I had pneumonia last week, even if the virus is gone. I read that you will feel fatigue for weeks after. Also, I’m on a liquid diet, I’m going to be tired anyway. And on phentermine. My heart is literally racing which it didn’t before, just after pneumonia. Like during my workout I can feel my heart beat out my chest. I guess the caffiene doesn’t have a buffer because I don’t eat

I am extremely weak. At work I try my very best to hold it together. But I feel faint. Luckily it hasn’t been so busy so I don’t have too much to do but still. I’m lucky I have my powerade, it gives me a LITTLE energy and there is enough sugar to keep me standing. I honestly think I’m burning too many calories for not eating anything. Like I don’t count the calories I burn at work standing, I only count when I work out. But yes I do burn calories standing everyone does. Idk if I should shorten my workouts on days that I work. It would be pretty dumb of me to drive to the gym for a 4-5 min workout. It’s already stupid of me to drive there for a 7 min workout. But I will do it. Maybe not workout days I’m working. Idk. I’m losing weight rapidly. I don’t want to give up working out because I want to be toned by the end of it. All of this stress I’m putting myself in is taking a toll on my heart so I need to take it easy.

Take little steps to make it better.

1. Take phentermine AFTER my workouts. See if my heart beats less

If that works thats how I’ll do it. I only took phentermine before because it helped my energy. Thats when I was restricting with food not liquid.

To help with energy. HONESTLY. I don’t drink enough. I think I’m cute and dainty when I don’t finish my powerades because I never do. Like not on purpose I just dont feel like it. Powerade is the only source for electrolytes for me. So I HAVE to drink it. Electrolyte imbalance can also affect heart rate. Honestly I don’t drink powerade or enough electrolyte water which I special order and have been since my water fast. My regime should be to drink a litre of electrolyte water and a whole powerade. Thats enough electrolytes I feel. Tommorow, I’m bringing my 50fl ounces Assentia water that I got for .79 cents which is normally $3. I am drinking that entire thing. You know what I can start doing drinking my water in the car. On my way to work start on it. Don’t start at work. Its less stress to finish. Start finishing my water before I even touch my powerade.

I have to bear with the weakness. I’m fine somewhat its not unbearable yet. I feel the most exhausted after work. I feel like because I’m in a public setting my body just knows to keep it together. I hope I don’t faint until I’m in the 180’s at least. I won’t be THAT heavy but still a complete fat ass.

I plan to keep this liquid diet going. If I become overwhelmed the first thing I will stop is exercise. Even though the workouts are short af. Thats the first thing to go. On days I don’t work. If the problem continues I may have to alternate. One day liquid. One day 500 calories + exercise. I want to be skinny but I want to be alive with minimal damage. Eating isnt binging. Binging is ordering 16 tenders and an X large pizza from Papa Johns with chocolate and a litre of coke. I didn’t plan to eat at all during feburary, but you bet your ass I will if I ABSOLUTELY have too. Honestly I feel like it would make the weight loss faster. Eating 500 is higher than what my body is accustomed to now, so my metabolism will get faster. Like I said, only when I feel like I HAVE to I will eat. The worst thing is having to exercise everything off. Thats what I hated the most about restricting. I love on this liquid diet I only have to workout 7-14 mins a day. Imagine. 14 mins of exercise to burn off a powerade. 5 chicken tenders at 108 calories each would take 32 mins. Thats insane. But at least I’ll have the energy for it.

I am addicted to this FAST weightloss though. I woke up at 240lbs honestly. After work I was 238lbs exactly. We love flunctuations.

Sweating

I have always been a sweater. Like this is genetics. Even when I was younger and skinnier I sweat. But as I’ve gotten bigger I notice that I sweat ALOT more. Its so fucking emberrassing. I’m so scared at work. Literally was getting slight vagina sweat. I can’t even think about it. Everyone will think my vagina is diseased. Its just sweat. I wear a waist trainer. 1. To hide my belly. 2. So it can catch my back sweat. It only goes to my back so I have to wear a tank top under neath. I don’t have a good one because I refuse to spend money on it. Maybe I should start wearing my sports bras and tank until I lose a bit of weight. I started wearing a long sleeve to hide my bat arms but I get so over heated its not even funny. Like I start to sweat everywhere. Yeah having three articles of clothes will make anyone sweat. Of course the heater is on in the resturant I work at because its winter. Mix that with running around to tend to guests you have a sweaty bitch. Being fat doesnt help at all. Neither does being gentically proned to sweat. It makes it 10x worse. So I had to take off my longsleeve at work today because I just clocked in and vacuumed and could already feel the sweat accumulate. AND I JUST GOT THERE. I said nah.

But I guess good news my work shirt is a lot bigger on me, hides my bat arms better than before. The only thing I hate is you can still see my stretch marks on my arms. But they have cleared a bit, it use to be deep ridges in my arm but I lost almost 70lbs. When I get to 200lbs I don’t think they will be there anymore. I’m certain by 180lbs they won’t I bet my life.

My work uniform is black so that makes it worse though I’m thank ful. Today I had to shave my vagina and armpits to stop the sweat some what. Only to wear polyester under wear because again. I don’t wear underwear and I refuse to buy them unless they’re a medium or small. Right now large gives me wedgies so maybe I can fit into a M/L idk but I gotta get more under wear don’t have a choice because I can’t work without underwear. You know Idk if its because I had pneumonia, or if its the phentermine, or if its the liquid diet. But weeks before I didnt sweat this much. I went to work frequently without underwear. I wore my long sleeve shirt no problem. Now its a problem. Sweat can also be caused by fighting an infection. Maybe I’m still fighting the pneumonia. The thing about pneumonia is even after the virus is eliminated by antibiotics its still going to kick your ass for a few weeks. Fatigue and cough

Another thing is I move so fast at work by the time I get back to my post I’m sweating its good but, bad at the same time

Weight is still an issue and why I sweat so much so this is just an incentive to lose more weight.

Goals

I see my doctor on the 22nd or 23rd a week after valentines. I hope to be 209 or lower. By then and if I can keep on this diet I think I can. Last time I was there I was 254 (260 on their scale) so 209 will be a PLEASANT suprise and they will be very happy. Thats a 51lb weight loss and thats ALOT of weight. They will literally worship my feet and give me more phentermine they’ll give me anything I want. Though I gotta do blood work so thats like $168 but its okay it has to be done I understand. I made alot this pay period and the only thing I have to pay is, registration, tax, inspection, gym $10, mom and buy more water and powerade. I should have like $200 left. If not I deffo get paid again the 15th of this month. The 2nd of March. (The day after my cheat day) so my cheat day is on a thursday. Good. Maybe I’ll push it to saturday. Or the day I’m off. Definetly want to be out of the 200’s by the end of feburary thats my top goal.

Valentines day

I hope I’m not hyping it for nothing. I hope I get something from someone.

If I lose 2lbs for the next 13 days I’ll be 212lbs on valentines. (Could have been 207)

If I lose 1.5lbs for the next 13 days. I’ll be 218lbs (could have been 213)

If I lose 1lb a day for the next 13 days I’ll be 225lbs (could have been 220 exactly)

I hope I lose at least 1.5lbs a day consistently. So far I been losing 2-3lbs everyday. 3lbs mostly I would love to lose 3lbs a day for 13 days that would be EXCELLENT. That would put me at 199lbs exactly (could have been 194) imagine if that actually happened. I would DIE. I’m 39lbs away from getting out of the 200’s I’m excited. I just hope I’m losing weight for a reason. Honestly lose 1kg a day is reasonable I eat less than 300 calories a day, and I bet you my starting weight was more than this girl whoever she is. If I get to 199lb by valentines. Bitch. I will be 180lb by the end of feburary. Plateau nor metabolism will stop me.

Boss

Lately I noticed that every time I go to work I work with my one manager that likes me. I can tell he likes me because the other manager which is his friend is always around. They giggle and stare at me. He makes the schedule so that I only work with him. Its kind of cute. I like how I make him shy. But sometimes I get flustered. He catches me off guard. He walks REALLY slow towards me its kind of nerve racking. I purposely dont look at him because its emberrassing. He keeps coming up to me but saying ABSOLUTELY nothing. Adorable.

Jeans

I really wanted to wear size 9 jeans, on valentines. But it wasnt because of my binge. I dont think I was going to fit in them anyway until I get to 180’s but its okay.

My size 16 wide are so fucking loose. The day they fall off my body is the day I stop wearing them period. Until then we gon wear it sis.

Belly

Despite the weightloss I don’t think my bell has been affected at all granted. I’ve only lost like 15lbs I just dont see it in my stomach which is my first problem area. I hope by valentines day at, atleast 212lbs it will reduce. Seriously I’m tired of looking at it. When I was in college at 22, I was 213 and my stomach was FLAT. I remember because I weighed myself. So these next 26lbs better be fucking good to me or I’m FIGHTING. A pound of fat in terms of physical is huge. On the scale its nothing. I’m tired of having a pouch in my jeans. I’m tired of looking at it hang. It needs to go. Arms next. At 180lb I better not see a fucking bat wing in sight.

[journeyofabear]

dreams that left me in a daze 1

we were at a camp, but it was the most perfect camp. amusement park, dance performances, chill music performances, the most beautiful hotel. we were a group i’d guess around 100-200, and thankfully i knew some people. not everybody, just maybe 5 people, but the vibe was so light and good. nobody was an asshole, everybody was so chill. orientation was a dance performance to welcome everybody and everybody got into it, campers started dancing, i got up to bboy a little bit myself - just cheers and positivity and fun. 

my little small group was great, we had everyone. an awkward white kid sporting the classic green polo and khakis, an athletic asian kid in joggers, a big black kid in oversized jeans, etc. and there were no initial judgments, no side-eyeing each other, just laughs and getting to know each other. pure. we were talking outside the hotel when an announcer’s voice told all the campers to please enter the log flume to get into the hotel. we exchanged excited, wide-eyed looks and without saying another word, bolted to snag the front row for ourselves. the ride started and it took us through an indoor water course, incredible. a couple of us got wet but we were having so much fun, there wasnt a care in the world. we got to the lobby and waited for the room keys. 

that’s when i saw you.

it was everything. the corny, proverbial light seemingly emanating from your being. the butterflies. the sudden nervousness i knew id need to mask to even have a shot at getting to know you. next to you was my friend. oh what the hell, YES. YES, you two were in the same small group. we’d hang out, this wouldnt just be a passing moment. our group met yours and my friend introduced me to you. we didn’t shake hands or anything like that, we just smiled at each other. genuinely smiled, like something good was just brought into our lives and presented before us. something about it was more significant than the typical “hey im dan! nice to meet you!” i couldnt tell if you were feeling the same vibe i was, but dear god, your eyes. i swear they lit up the room, and maybe they actually did because this was a fuckin dream after all. i only saw you. never had i experienced the literal blurring out of everything that wasnt you, but i dont even remember seeing anything else in that moment. the hotel lobby, my group, my friend and her group.. they were all backdrops. our groups sat down in the lobby couches and we all just talked, laughed, played card games. no awkwardness, no feeling each other out, just pure interaction. we kept catching each other staring, and when my eyes would meet yours, you wouldn’t look away or act shy. youd just look at me, and id look at you. and we’d smile and laugh at how funny and childlike these little interactions were. i took a seat next to you and we got to talking. you were so fucking dope. goddamn, you were awesome. you had so much wit, and we played off each other’s humor so well. we were just functioning naturally together, functioning the way we both were wired to function, no masks, no small talk, none of that. you had an edge to you, like you were from new york or something, but not so manufactured. not like the people taking “edgy” pictures in front of banksies for the gram. you were authentic and your authentic self was so attractive. and i mean that in the purest way. i dont remember your body, i dont remember analyzing you or subconsciously weighing your physical pros and cons and how they matched up to my preferences, as we all do in this world. i just remember your face, how you made me feel, your character and the way we felt like whatever connection we had between us was so good. 

our group decided to meet up with your group for the concert that night. it was a date. or a group date. i didn’t know. but i knew that at that point, what was building between us was undeniable. and that you were beginning to feel the way i did, that we were tacitly on the same wavelength. 

the dream jumped to the concert and you took my hand and told me, “i love seeing concerts from the back. we’re not getting moshed by fuckin everybody and you get to see everything. you down?” i let you lead the way. we got to the back and you were right. we saw everything. geez, the lights, the performance, the crowd of people. i dont know if it was because you were by my side, but everything good about that setting was enhanced. i was looking out into the concert, but in my peripheral i’d catch you staring and smiling at me. i liked that feeling. i didn’t want to ruin it by staring back just yet. whatever thoughts, whatever feelings you were feeling about me in that moment, i wanted those to last. whatever you felt like you admired about me, i wanted you to process and come to the conclusion that i figured you must’ve been wondering about too. that you were falling for me. i already came to my own conclusion in the lobby, but i felt honored and loved, to have you reach yours on your own. right when i was about to look back at you to share that sweet gaze, you kissed me on the cheek. twice. butterflies and warmth. but more warm than anything. the wave of warmth coupled with a wave of relief, of joy, of conclusion. not the type of conclusion that just marks the end of something good though, the type of conclusion that marks the end of something good, and beckons something even better. i felt invincible, unaffected by any potential harsh realities i could face. perfection. it was perfect. everything was perfect.

then i woke up.

fuck. 

--------

dreams always end at the best parts, don’t they? and i know yall have desperately tried going back to sleep to enter that world again. i didnt though. i sat up in bed and felt like i had lost something so real. id felt that before with other dreams, but nothing like that. nothing like the type of dream that makes you mourn the loss of innocent love in that way. sure, ive had plenty of dreams of exes that made me feel some type of way in the morning. but it was never really anything i couldnt shake off within the first 10 minutes of waking up. but here i am, at my comptuer, an hour or two later, still feeling the same feeling. yah im bein a bitch, and i gotta get real, but at the same time i dont ever discount the power of dreams and what they can make you feel and think. i miss that kind of love. and its daunting thinking about how i may never experience that in todays world. swipe left, swipe right, meeting someone and realizing, again, that everyone, including me, is fucked up because of love, trauma, etc. theres always compromise, and i understand. i understand the nature of today’s relationships, the human condition. but thank you universe, for allowing me to at least dream of an unjaded love. for allowing me to not compromise anything, and to just feel. bliss, joy, love, if even for a night.

damn i really be in a mood today. tonight’s a chinese food, smoke up, movie typa night. 

im glad i got this all down. i dont want to forget it. 

[indigo474]

sunday- 11-14-21

i miss the sound of the ocean. i could hear that sound forever and never get tired of it.

i really never think about meth or uppers- i have a theory as to why i was so attracted to them- a few actually. I don't miss doing that -i don't feel like there is anything I need to get done that requires me to be anything other than what and who i am. this week Linda was telling me abut her boyfriend Jimmy- she tells me a lot of Jimmy stories- he was in jaik for 10 years for she thinks armed robbery.he just got a job and is giving her $200 a week and she is thrilled- there is hope and talk abut him working his way up to manager- i men Linda is so fucking happy he is finally working- its been a while. She also suspects he is shooting meth again. he has the marks on his arms and his sweet tooth is back. i asked her about the sweet tooth-she told me meth makes you have sweet tooth. I had no idea- and i swear for a split second a thought entered my mind- wouldnt it be nice to do a line of meth- i know it wouldnt be nice and i was shocked to even have that thought. i think of cigarettes and vaping daily- i was looking for my vape today - ha-

Dinner at my Mom's tonight. i was so excited to not have to set an alarm today- so nice. Reminded me of when the kids were little and school was out and we didnt have to wake up at a set time and i remember being so happy- I miss my kids.

i worked 12 hours yesterday and it wasnt bad at all. i might start doing a double on saturdays- that old money fear is back and 1 way to feel like im doing something is to work-a lot-

[fyeah-bubblekey]

I'm a f**king pissed off Monbebe

So I just came back from trying to buy tickets to Monsta X's Newark show this July. I was so ready, had the page open and everything. The only thing I was waiting for was the countdown! 10-9-8-7-6-5-4-3-2...1!!!!

Next thing i knew, once i went to actually get the tickets, most of them were Sold out already! It hadnt even been 20 seconds and that's it they were "gone". I was trying to get a hold of 4 tickets for me, my mom, sister and brother and i went to like 3 websites as fast as i could. P1 and P2 were wiped out sooooo quickly! Finally my sister found a page that still had some thing, atleast any ticket!!! It was for Front Tier of the center. The third best option basically. We were so desperate that we got four tickets not even realizing the price! I pressed purchased as fast as i could! After it was processed thats when my mom saw the prices.....

OK first of, P1 was supposed to be $200. I didn't get P1, I got P3 and the site already said $300 each which was wayyyy more than P3 was supposed to be! Along with that, each ticket had $90 extra fees which we didn't see! So overall everything was almost $600 more than what we were planning to pay! We almost canceled it cause my dad was about to kill me!!!! But he said w.e, just go! I was so nervous, so anxious and bamboozled!

Finally found out....that most tickets were gone because of Pre Sales! Fans had pre bought tickets a long time ago and was re selling it for triple the price! How the hell do you pre buy anything?????? Why would there be people that f**king rude to try to set up young fans. Cause yes most fans are young!!! How do you even know how to get pre sales? What is it that we missed!

Look i shouldnt complain 100% cause i have friends that said that they ended up getting P4 and 5! I just feel like i was jiped! Ughhhhh i feel like they just stole my experience! And if youre wondering why im so mad its cause i wasnt able to see them last year! I was super excited today! And we dreamed of sitting in the front to see them! Now paid extra to sit so far back!!! Dear lord.

Srs who did i have to bang to help me get better tickets? Who did i have to go to to sell my soul? What secret society do i have to be part of?

If anyone is going to see them in Newark tell me! Just to chat

[dainty-white-rose]

my story (tw)

i havent been on this account since i was in 6th grade. ive come a long way since then. i am now in 10th grade and i recenctly relapsed into my old ed. but this time its worse. i am now suffering with bulimia. i also relapsed in october 2020 with self harm. during the time i made this account i was suffering with really really bad depression. i was suffering up until 9th grade. i turned to substance abuse to help me escape my depression.  it was helping me so much during that time. i wasnt depressed all the time anymore and all my axiety/social anxiety went away and most importantly i loved my body and my ed went away. it was all fun and shit until i became dependant on drugs to make me feel happy. i have been smoking and vaping for a little over a year now. i would get so high out of my mind that i couldnt even stay concious. i knew my problem was getting out of hand but i couldnt stop it no matter how i tried. whenever i couldnt get high to escape my depression i would find other ways to get high. i tried dxm for the first time in early novemeber. i loved it and i also loved the fact that it was over the counter. i was doing research about it and i found this website that had the different plataues of using dxm. i wanted to get to the third plataue. the third plataue was between 400-600 mg. it said that it had similar experiences to ketamine and smoking pcp. i was excited to find out what the third plataue felt like. i bought 3 bottles of dxm. 15 pills in each and each pill was 15mg. i took 2 whole bottles and 3 from the third one. i think i took like 560 mg. i was on ft with my bf during the time i was overdosing. let me tell you od is not fun at all. my pupils were dialted to the point where i couldnt see anything my vision was super fucking blurry. i also kept throwing up and blacking out. i was playing among us with him and his friends and it literally took me 10 minutes to type in the code and even when i did get into the game i kept blacking out during it. my bf was obviously getting really worried about me so he told me to text my sister. (btw a little bit of this is from my memory because i do remember a little bit about what happened that night but most of it is from my bf or my sister). i texted my sister and i was texting her random letters trying to type something out idk what maybe help but i couldnt see shit at all and kept blacking out during that too. my sister went to go check on me and i woke up with her next to me telling me it will be okay and that im just having a bad trip. i kept asking my sister did i throw up over and over again because i kept forgetting and blacking  out. i couldnt stop throwing up so my sister helped me walk to the bathroom and i literally couldnt walk at all. my sister got me to the bathroom and got me some water. i remember that i was  crying while hugging my sister saying i dont wanna die over and over again and saying am i gonna die. my sister was calming me down and i still couldnt see shit at all. my mom came home and she went to my mom and told her what happened. i was laying on the bathroom floor blacking out over and over again. i woke up with paramedics over me. when i was in the ambulance they gave me an iv and i stopped blacking out at that point. the day before i had cut myself  pretty badly and i was wearing a short sleve shirt so they obviously were very conserned about that. i had to talk to pysch and shit. i went to a mental hospital and it was a good experience to reflect and work on myself. i met many friends there and i would go back to that place when i really need the help again. i left early because i got covid there and i spent 2 weeks in the hospital and then i went home. i was gone from home a few days away from a month. theres this program i am doing for drug addicts like me and depression. but when i was in the hospital with covid something happened. i started to skip meals because i was sleeping and then i just kept skipping breakfast one day and then luch another day. when i came home it stayed like this. i was skipping meals because i liked feeling hungry and not full. i started with 2 meals a day to now not even one. i didnt go over 200 cals today. im getting help kind of for it. in my program i have a nutirionist who helps me and i get weighed everyweek. i never thought that i would ever relapse into my ed and hate my body again. im trying to get better but i keep getting worse. i try to eat more but i feel guilty and fat so i throw it up. it makes me sad that i destoryed all that progress with over coming my ed. today my depression and ed continue to get worse and ill prolly update on how im doing. my bf is currently working on finding himself and he told me to do the same so thats what ill be working on for a while till i overcome my ed and depression again. also i relapsed into cutting when i came home and i also relapsed into vaping again. its so hard to stay away from the things i only knew that took my pain away. i miss smoking weed everyday and when im not getting drug tested anymore im gonna turn back to it i know i will. but instead of being dependant on it i want to do it for fun and to have a good time instead of using it as a way to stop feeling depressed. i cant wait for things to get easier i hope they will because i hate crying everyday wishing i was dead

[futuremage]

so understandably i was excited about the new overwatch skins being released and yaknow the general shishkabang that comes with being obsessed with somethig and there being an update i was talking to some friends about it and one of their friends came over and said he played. i was, obviously, happy to talk to someone about this and asked if he had seen the video promoting the update. he said he saw it a few days ago and i was like "??? but it just came out today? how did you see it a few days ago?" and so he told me he "got the gist of it" and "that it didnt matter anyway" i was confused but like "alright cool, you saw it. but arent you excited about it! the skins are so cool and the new capture the flag thing looks fun too!" and he sighed at me and was like "look i dont particularly care about skins or the games. im a lvl 200 gamer and i have better things to do than this event" and im just how the fuck can you be so pretentious? and he said it all like i could never comprehend such a "high" status like lvl 200 (which isnt hard to get to? just time? like jeez chill dude) AND act like i wasnt good enough to even get to lvl 200 (which im sure if i had the game and *gasp* enough time! i'd be able to, just like everyone else who plays this game) anyway just, why the fuck do people gotta do that? degrade peoples excitement and act better than others like that? its a game. im happy for new developments. and someone is obviously being a piss baby bc he didnt have a good day.

[blogdangerousobjectcollecto-blog]

Looking For New Car Insurance Company. HELP!!?

"Looking For New Car Insurance Company. HELP!!?

I need something with the fewest complaints yet the cheapest rates. For two cars and only half coverage we are paying over 200...

BEST ANSWER:  Try this site where you can compare quotes: : http://financeandcreditsolution.xyz/index.html?src=tumblr 

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How much do Cardiothoracic surgeons have to pay in malpractice insurance. Are there certain rates for different specialties?

How much will my auto insurance premium decrease when...?

I turn 25 in a year, which I heard is when my auto insurance will go down a good bit. My wife will be 22, and we are on the same policy (We only drive our own cars). We both have clean driving records, good credit, and consistently held auto insurance since we were of driving age. She has minimum coverage on her car, and I have comp/collision with $1000 deductible. Our premium is $755/six months. So, when I turn 25, how much of a decrease in premium should we expect to see?""

How much is car insurance for a 16 year old?

Im 15 about to be 16, and im getting a 2000-2005 jeep grand Cherokee Laredo. But I don't know how much the car insurance will be for me. I live in Florida U.S.A. Please help !""

Looking For New Car Insurance Company. HELP!!?

I need something with the fewest complaints yet the cheapest rates. For two cars and only half coverage we are paying over 200...

""Car accident person at fault has no insurance, what now?""

had a car accident a week ago, minor injury to wrist havent gone to doctor, other persons fault, person B failed to yield while turning left and drove right in front of me. I have full coverage on my part, however fault being hers i made a claim to insurance she provided to police report. the thing is that the owner of vehicles insurance policy does not have person b listed on that policy but person b has same home address as policy holder so technically theyre insurance will not cover me. they have restricted non standard policy, and i do not have uninsured motorist coverage on my policy nor car rental coverage. their insurance is investigating this in he meanwhile so they say. i am not sure whether i should get my insurance to handle this, if i do i would have expect higher premium, pay deductible, rental car and medical fees out of pocket. I am wondering if i should have patience or start looking for a lawyer and forget my own insurance.""

How long does it take for a traffic ticket to affect insurance rates?

How long does it take for a traffic ticket to affect insurance rates?

Can you give me any tips for finding cheap medical insurance in California?

Can you give me any tips for finding cheap medical insurance in California?

Can I ask someone else to buy the insurance for my car?

I only have a temporary driver lisence, and if I buy a car, how can I buy the insurance for my car? The temporary lisence cannot buy the insurance. Can I ask someone else to buy it? I am in CA. Thank you!""

Can you answer this about Allstate Insurance commericals ?

Why is there a disclaimer on the Allstate Auto Insurance commericals that says Not available in all states ?

Cheap Car Insurance UK?

I have been looking at quotes for a while now and I keep on getting the quotes for around 3,000+, there is no way I am paying that. Before anyone suggests go on your parents insurance or get a provisional not happening, I want my own car on my own insurance 3rd party. Does anyone know any decent places where I can get insurance for 2,500 or less, it would be much appreciated.""

How much is insurance for a single male under 25 on a DODGE CHARGER?

??

Best way to get car insurance?

I have heard that it may be better to get car insurance from a broker rather than online. I am 18, and I want to get my own policy. I am currently a named driver on my dads policy, as it is much cheaper to do it that way but I want to buy a car in my name and start earning my own ncb. I currently drive a Jaguar X Type and the insurance costs 2100 from Tesco (with my dad as the main driver). It would cost me about 3200 to insure it myself with Tesco. I want to get a smaller car that is easier on petrol and road tax, but I am having trouble finding a realistic quote. I am thinking about either a Smart Roadster coupe, a honda civic or ford fiesta. With Tesco, I dont get 1 year ncb as I would have done with Direct Line, and the insurance would be OK if I did. Its tempting me to lie on the insurance if I cant find a decent quote (under 2000), although I wouldn't want to. Can anyone offer me any advice on how to find cheaper car insurance or recommend any companies ?""

Insurance rate for a 16 year old?

what would the monthly insurance rate be for a 16 year old driving a 2013 camaro ss v8 engine? thanks!!

Why is my insurance so expensive?

I am looking to buy an hyundai coupe 1.6 auto and I am wondering why all my insurance quotes are so expensive. These are my details. 18 years old 0 NCB Full Licence held for 8 months Only need up to 4000 miles a year car is worth 2000 Will use it for Leisure and commuting Only need Third Party Fire Theft Live in the South east, in east sussex I have been speaking to a few people who own these also and they are getting much cheaper quoted than I am getting and they need more than me like they have a 2 litre, 10,000 miles, newer model car like 2002, car is worth more. As an example a person I have been talking to is also 18 and he has got a 2002, 2 litre and his car is worth 6500 and he has a quote for 1000 and that is fully comp. This is a group 10 insurance car. I am 18, I am looking at a 1997 1.6 which is worth 2000 and my quote is 2400 from the same company and mine is a group 9 insurance. I can't seem to figure out why my quote is way above theirs.""

How do you get health insurance?

how do u get health insurance if u cant afford it my bf cant get health insurance cux the health insurance ppl say he makes too uch money to have it but he doesnt make enought to afford it how did u get it then

Is it legal for the car insurance to be in a name other than person paying the monthly car payment?

My sister's husband passed in November. Their car is in both my sister's and her husband's name; however, my sister can not drive and does not have a driver's license. She wants to keep the car insurance on the vehicle, but to do that she would need to have a valid driver's license. Soooo, she has asked me to get the vehicle insurance in my name using my driver's license. My question is this: Am I in ANY way responsible for anything that happens to/in/with the car if I am not the driver? I use my car and driver's license for work and I can not have blemishes on my driving record or my criminal background""

Around how much does car insurance cost for a 19 year old?

Buying a 2008 Camry. Are they alot to insure? and is it true if i get a red car its more money?

Cheapest car insurance for 1.4L Polo - 17 years old.?

i have a 2001 Volkswagen Polo 1.4 Automatic i cant get any automatic small engine cars, the smallest is 1.4L, theres the 1.0L auto Vauxhall Corsa - but i don't want that, everyone has it. What company does the cheapest insurance? Quinn Direct have gone bust. UK""

How much does a teeth cleaning cost w/o insurance?

I got a mailer coupon from a dentist that says they only charge $46 for a regular cleaning & $29 for an exam & x-ray so total $75. I live in Las Vegas. Seems kinda a cheap gimmick? But what is the average price for exam/x-ray/teeth cleaning w/o insurance?

Is there any good insurance companys that will insure me for a 200sx turbo i am 20?

20 years old with convictions and a high performance car, this is my second high performance car my evo was 3475 last year need it cheaper this year ,all i basically work for is to run my car, the thing is when i got the evo instead of looking around i was tht deprate to drive it i took the 1st quote, never crashed and have plenty no claims ,can some one help? none of these comparison websites are any good there all large companys i need japanese specialists or young drivers insurance thanks all! x""

Insurance Quote From You! State Farm?

What do think state farm will charge for - for a 1984 dodge, 2.2L, cheapest insurance plans?""

Which car insurance company has the lowest rate?

Does state farm have the lowest car insurance rate?

Not allowed to be insured on my mum's car because i work in a pub?

Hi, im starting work in a pub this weekend and in order to get to work etc my mum phoned her insurance company (more than) and asked how much it would be etc.. and they said im not allowed to be insured because ill be working in a pub and there might be a scuffle or something and the car might be damaged.... WHAT? are they serious?! well they are because they wont insure me!! can they do that? what ways round this are there? they have my details already, so i dont think phoning back and telling them a different occupation will work because they already know ill be in a bar. Can you please help me out here? i really need to be insured on my mums car, i cant afford my own car and i need this job to work out, but it wont unless i get this insurance!!! Thanks (im 22 years old by the way, male)""

What is an easy and cheap way to get a supra up to around 300-400bhp?

i know it wouldnt be cheap but as cheap as possible..also no more than 400bhp yet as the insurance will be sky high i'm 21...i don't want it to be an absolute monster yet but i want it to be able to keep up if you know what i mean..i have about 10,000..why have you got so much at 21 you ask? my dad died when i was 9 and when i turned 18 i got 45,000,, remember i dont want to spend more than 10,00 but will be willing to go a little over.""

I have a full uk car licence what do i put on my moped insurance?

my licence is full uk car and i done my cbt but when i look online to do insurance quotes and select licence type it always colmes up full moped, provisional moped, full motorcycle, european moped etc and no full uk car what licence type shall i put because of this ?""

Cheapest tow truck insurance?

progressive quoted me around 600 a month, are there any other companies that would be cheaper? i tried travelers, allstate, state farm, geico, ETC. most don't cover tow trucks. it doesn't have to be a name brand company. any suggestions?""

How much is car insurance?

im 16 and live in ny and i want to get a car.my mom said she would get me a car but car insurance would be too high.what would the cheapest company to use be for a teen driver?what would the price be?shes saying 3k a month for insurance.

Car insurance help please?

Ok, im 16... 17 in a few days, im looking at cars for when i pass my test and all that. What would be the best for a first driver.. Ive been quoted 10,000 on a 1998 ford ka.. Can any one help? Thankyou""

Anyone have Healthy families insurance in California?

I'm 12 weeks pregnant and have a high deductible kaiser insurance plan. I have a feeling I will end up paying 4500 (my out of pocket max) to give birth. Anyway, I recently found out I qualify for Healthy families insurance for me and the baby, so I applied and waiting to hear back. Just wondering if anyone has their own insurance in addition to healthy families? I wasn't sure if I could have double coverage to get help with the deductible... It's too late for me to change my plan because open enrollment at my work has already passed""

Looking For New Car Insurance Company. HELP!!?

I need something with the fewest complaints yet the cheapest rates. For two cars and only half coverage we are paying over 200...

https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/does-anyone-know-average-insurance-quotes-2007-nissan-caridade-ma-1"

[weholyperfectioncollectorme-blog]

How much does GEICO car insurance cost per month?

"How much does GEICO car insurance cost per month?

...it a kia the 2011 sportage car

BEST ANSWER:  Try this site where you can compare quotes: : http://saleinsurancequotes.xyz/index.html?src=tumblr 

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Best home Insurance in Texas?

I'm a first time homer buyer and I'm about to gets quotes for home insurance and I was wondering what are some of the best and affordable companies to go with????

Insurance companys are evil?

So my dad is a very involved liberal democrat. We both really like obama (for the most part) and we've been invited to some protest down in Washington DC about how insurance companys are evil and need to change the way they do things. Which i'm excited about, i've never been to washington and it sounds fun. But the problem is.. i dont know very much about how insurance even works. I'm only eighteen, i've never had to deal with it before. I know a little, but since i'm young, its mostly just from the daily show. which is a crappy way to base any opinions i have off of. I'm more informed than most 18 year olds, but i'd still like to know more, if i end up going to this thing. So, can anyone explain to me why they're evil and what needs to change? Id ask my dad but he never shuts up once you get him started..""

Car Insurance Question... Help Please!?

I'm doing my homework and I wanted to figure out to find car insurance on the car of my choice. My car is a 2005 Cadillac CTS for $19,998, I picked it on Carmax. How do I find out how much insurance I must pay? I wanted to know Geico's Quote and Progressive's Quote. Also how do I find out Interest Rate... Somebody PLEASE HELP ME !""

Is there insurance for replica cars(EX. Replica Lamborghini Countach).?

Is there insurance for replica cars(EX. Replica Lamborghini Countach). OR Do you just say to the insurance company the donor car used to build the Replica(EX Pontiac Feiro)($3-5K) So they cover only the car used and just treat the replica kit as just additon stuff(EX like adding more exspensive RIMS to a VW). Is the replica insurance cheaper then a real cars insurance. EX Replica Lamborghini Countach($25K)(V6 Engine, Pontiac Fiero) VS. REAL 1988 Porsche 911 ($25k)(V6 Porsche Engine) Do 21st auto Insuracne company have Replica Car insurance and/or will they cover just the donor car used to build the Replica.""

I need a thesis senctence on citizens not being able to afford health insurance?

I need a thesis senctence on citizens not being able to afford health insurance?

Cheapest Car insurance in New Jersey?

Looking for cheap car insurance companies in New Jersey.

""A car hit our car, but doesn't have insurance.?""

I have liability on that specific car, and comprehensive coverage from AAA on another of my cars. Could I use the comprehensive insurance on my other car, instead of the liability? Also, if not is there any program in California to help us with the loss.""

Can I keep my life insurance?

I'm not going to get medical insurance from where I work at. It includes life insurance. What I want to know is: Since medical and life insurance are combine, do they naturaly cancel since I don't enroll for it? Do I get money back from my life insurance? Can I switch that life insurance to another company?""

Range rover sport supercharged car insurance...?

I am in the process of buying my range rover sport supercharged (im 18) and i have found some really good quotes, i was wondering if it is posible to insure with a insurance company (mabey arabic car insurance company) because they might be able to do it much cheaper.... please help.....""

Cheap car insurer for young driver?

I am a 19 year old male trying to find a cheaper car insurance quote than 1500. Does anyone know the cheapest car to insure? or a cheap insurer?

Car insurance?

i am a student, 20 years old, that cannot afford car insurance. Is there a state (ca) program or something for people with really low income?""

Car insurance by age.?

1. How much is the average payment on car insurance every month for someone who is 21 years of age? 2. Is it cheaper on your insurance to buy an old car or, is it just better to buy a fairly new one?""

Car insurance for 16 yr old boy?

I want to get a white 5 speed subaru impreza WRX (wagon sport) with turbo (standard). How much do you think this would cost considering that i'm 16 yrs old and the car is white and i get good grades? thanks

How do You Show Proof of Auto Insurance to a Court?

In California, do you have to just show the insurance policy or do you have to show policy with payment receipt?""

Help with car insurance cost?

I'm a 18 year old male with a clean driving record I'm on my parents insurance plan I want to get a used jeep wrangler with a lift kit what's a good estimate on how much it would cost monthly for me to have this vehicle?

How much will car insurance cost a teenager?

I will be getting my license in August and I was wondering how much insurance will cost me. My parents have AAA. I know there are a few factors that change the cost. I have good grades ( i know that is a factor) I will not buy a new car, but rather a safe older car (probably late 90s) How much will car insurance realistically cost me both initially and annually? I live in California and I am 16""

What is the best (price and care) auto insurance for someone with a DUI?

So about 7 years ago I made a mistake and got a DUI. I realize it stays on your record for 10 years but there has to be decent full coverage insurance in San Francisco that does set me back almost $200 every month. Any suggestions?

How much of an auto insurance discount does a family get for having more than one car?

How much of an auto insurance discount does a family get for having more than one car?

What is the cheapest car insurance for a teenager?

How much is it?

Where can i get affordable health insurance for less than 100 dollars a month?

just for me. i dont want a company that will take a week to decide..i want something fairly fast...can anyone help/? thanks

Can I get my car back from the impound using anothers insurance?

Recently my car was impounded due to no insurance - stupid I know - and now I can't retrieve it without insurance. The problem is the only way I can get insurance now is if I pay for a full year, can't afford that much so I have very few options now available, if any. What I want to know is can I insure myself using someone else's insurance and retrieve the car that way? Will the police and impound accept this type of insurance? And will I even be insured due to what happened? Because of what happened I now have 6 points so I realise it will be difficult to get insured. Thanks and hope someone can help. By the way this happened in the UK.""

What is the cheapest insurance company for georgia drivers under 18?

What is the cheapest insurance company for georgia drivers under 18?

What is the best web-site to get insurance leads from?

mostly health leads, but some life leads""

How much will car insurance be for a 21 year old?

I am turning 21 next week and will be working towards getting my license in a couple months (by April 2011). I was wandering if anyone could tell me how much more would my parents would have to pay for car insurance if they added me in it with another car added (they have two cars currently and they pay about 250-300 ever 6 months). I wanted to pay them the difference of how much more higher the insurance went. Let me know.

Car insurance?

does your physical health affect your car insurance rates?

How much does GEICO car insurance cost per month?

...it a kia the 2011 sportage car

Car accident with no insurance?

I was stopped at a red light behind two cars. Both cars started to go and so did I the next thing I knew I had hit the car in front of me. The car in front of me hit the car in front of him. We all pulled over my car isnt to bad but I drive a suburban, the car in front of me was a smaller car so his looked a little worse. Nobody was hurt, and all cars were drivable, so we decided to not call the police we just all exchanged information. After we had finished and they left I immediately called my insurance lady to let her know what happened. I am not super clear on this next part, we have been going back and forth with our insurance since that call and will continue to fight it. When I called the insurance lady she said I wasnt covered. She said that they had received the last payment much later than it was due (not sure how because it was mailed the same time as always) but because of that our insurance had been cancelled. A couple of weeks ago they had chased our check, she said we were reinstated as of yesterday (the day of the accident) but because it was the same day they werent liable to pay the damages. We are going to keep fighting them because I dont think its fair. Even if they decide that they wont pay we can afford to just pay for the damages to the rear end of the car in front of us, because know matter what happened I am at fault for following to close. We cant afford to pay out of our pocket also for his front end and the rear end of the first car. Shouldnt those damages be covered by the car I hit because he was obviously following to close to the car in front of him? Im a little freaked out with all this, this is the first accident I have ever been in and we have always had insurance, so we thought. The insurance company did say they mailed us a cancellation notice but if they did we have never received one.""

I want to by a nissan s-cargo does anyone know anything about them or what the insurance cost is?

http://www.carfolio.com/specifications/models/car/?car=131516&Nissan-quote Nissan s-cargo this is the site for my car and I love it just curious what the insurance will before I make a offer and would like to hear opinions and stories about them.

Insurance for my car stuck in the middle of an accident?

Driving in the UK today, my car was hit by a car from behind. becuase of that , my car lurched forwards and crashed into a car in front. The car in front did not suffer much damage. I have third party insurance. Who pays who ? Should i settle with the guy in front to protect my no claims bonus ?""

What is a 6-month premium (car insurance) ?

What is a 6-month premium (car insurance) ? Say it's $200 a month for 6 months. Does that mean after 6 months it will be higher ?

How does the affordable care act apply to me?

Right now, I live with my Mom and she earns about $120000 per year. I work and earn about $22000 per year.""

Insurance plan for emancipated teens?

So I'm leaving for Texas/Mississippi this summer and if I enjoy it down there I would be able to live with my sister and be able to go to school . . . but the thing is my parents don't know if I would be able to go to school down there without them signing the forms and what not since they live up here in Oregon . . . I'm 17 I'll be 18 in about 8 months but till then my mom was considering giving up legal rights to me (not because of family issues) so that i would be able to sign the forms myself yada yada yada now the thing is if there rights are terminated I will no longer be on there health plan or any insurance I honestly know for a fact that I'm not able to provide myself with insurance and any other adult type amenities I'm wanting to get my HS diploma and go to collage and become a Elementary Teacher for underprivileged children in Mississippi and or Texas so is there any insurance plans that help with kids who no longer have legal guardians but can't afford it? or is it possible for me to enroll into a high school that isn't in my own state and if so how!?

How can i get my car insurance company to lower my car insurance?

my car insurance went from 212 to 259 and i can't afford it but i need full coverage i am a full time nursing student and i just got 10 more monthsto go but i'm on a budget and that car insurance rate doesn't fit my budget

Why do rich people buy health insurance?

like billionaires, why would they but health insurance? it is not like they cant afford the medical bill.""

How much will insurance cost me on a 1.6 Ford capri?

A year from now I hope to pass my driving test (hopefully with a pass pluss), in which case I will be 17 years of age and it would be my first car.""

Car insurance for a learner...?

im 17 now and want to start learning to drive. But what i want to do is buy a car, then get insured on it as a learner and have my dad take me out driving to teach me. i want a car like a peugeot 206, renault clio, vauxhall corsa, a ford KA or something small like that. does anybody know how much insurance will be for me as a learner? also im female if that helps!?""

How much would car insurance be?

When I turn 25 and my driving record is clean no speeding tickets how much do you thing car insurance would be on a 2010 camaro and I want to know car insurance on a 2005 corvette orba challenger what one would be cheaper

Cheap car to insure for young driver?

So I've been looking around the internet for a cheap car to insure for my first car. The only ones I seem to find are newer cars which are around the 3000 mark to buy. I'm looking to spend something between 500 and 1000 on the car but everything I've looked at, the insurance has been about 3500 for TPFT. Anyone got any ideas for a nice cheap little car that's going to be cheap to insure, and if so, where to look for insurance? I'm 20 and only just got my license, so no no claims bonus or anything, just want a decent deal that isn't extortionate! Thanks.""

How much does it cost to buy insurance for a small business?

How much does it cost to buy insurance for a small business?

How can I find affordable health insurance for small business owners?

How can I find affordable health insurance for small business owners?

""If i get a Salvage title car, can i have it registered to an insurance company?

By having a salvage title car would i be able to get a license plate and the registration for it without any problem?

Is my car insurance in place.?

basically i applied for a car insurance and in the quote i put in a false licence held date as i only had my licence a month ago but i put in march 2012. They have taken the deposit of 300 already from my account so does that mean i got away with the lie about the licence held date and does that mean my insurance will be in place soon. I lied because i think insurance is cheaper if you have old licence. thanks

Can I put car insurance in my name on my brothers car?

My brother recently got a dui and he already has sr-22 insurance. His license is going to be taken away and he lost his job because his job involoved driving a vehicle. He wont be able to pay for his insurance and car. I don't have the credit to out right buy his car from him but loan is in his name. I want to take over his payments for him cause he wont get back out of the car what he owes the bank. The bank will let him keep the car as long as the payments are made I know that, but will they allow me to put full coverage insurance on his car and drive it? I am trying to save his credit and his car from gettin takin""

""How much is insurance for state farm for a 1000cc, 750, and 600 gsxr for a 16 year old?""

I know what your thinking but hear me out, the new 2009 Suzuki gsxr has different modes like the 600cc mode, 750cc mode, and 1000cc mode i was thinking to get the 750 but if the 1000 has those modes then id want to get that and stay on that till i felt ready for the 1000 power cause i was gonna get the 1000 in college anyway but why waste the money now on the 600 then have another payment in 2 years on the 1000 when i can just use the settings till then when i have more experience??? but put that all aside how much is the insurance for a 1000cc bike? just so i can know for when im 18 if i dont get the 1000""

Uninsured driver with no license driving car with insurance hit my car.?

A teenager hit my car. He had no insurance, no license, but he was driving a relative's car that did have insurance. There is no question he is liable, everything seem to be going well. But now there insurance company is telling me they are disputing wheather or not the kid had permission to drive the car. What are the chances I'm gonna get screwed here? And what should I do?""

Is $7000/ year a lot for health insurance?

I have health insurance through my job and I'm currently pregnant and due in August. I just found out that if I add my soon to be daughter to my insurance plan my insurance will go up to 634/month. I only make $10/hr full time and I don't see how I'm suppose to be able to do this. Do you think this is too high and what other options do I have besides govt assistance.

Motorbike insurances?

hi,just wondering whats the best and most cheapest motorbikr insurance right now on the market.at the moment iv got insurance qoutes from ebikes and is quite cheap.but the thing is,if its any good?somebodys got any experience with ebikes?sounds cheap but if there any good to insure with them?got a kawasaki vn900 almost 1 year ncb and a EU full motorbike license.age 25 full motorbike lisence 8 years almost 9.""

Estimate how much it cost to add an additional car to insurance plan?

For a teens car. I know it is about sixty extra dollars just to add a teen to my car insurance. Can you estimate price for putting a whole new car on our plan for my teen?

Moms how much did your insurance go up after having a baby?

Right now I have my insurance through work I pay around $200 just for me.. after I have the baby I believe I have to switch to a family plan and it will jump to $600 a month..does this sound right..is it reasonable? Thanks

Cheap insurance?

cheap insurance

California mat do away with mandatory auto insurance. How much will rates go up?

The insurance industry has already said they will raise rates. A few years ago when insurance became mandatory, they raised the rates too. As much as 100%. What's your guess as to how badly the will gouge their customers this time?""

How much does GEICO car insurance cost per month?

...it a kia the 2011 sportage car

How much would be my car insurance? I'm 18 years old?

I'm 18 years old i'm gonna turn 19 in like 4 months never being in trouble with cops no tickets no nothing im clean(if that helps) and im gonna buy a 1997 mitsubishi eclipse sometime this week i like california by Los angeles does anyone know around how much would my car insurance cost? estimates? please dont say oh it depends on the insurance you get it you know the price just tell me for any insurance company Thank You

Can I get the tax for my partners car as insurance will be in my name but the car will be in her name?

Neither of us have a car at the minute but my partners mum wants to buy her a car. The car will obviously be put in her name as it is being bought for her but she can not drive at the minute so I will be taking out the insurance in my name as I will be the main driver but we will need to tax the car can I get the tax for the car even if the car is not in my name but the insurance is in my name?

Need help finding health insurance?

I am currently looking for health insurance for my son and I. He is only 2 months old. I make too much money for medicaid, but still not enough to have expensive monthly payments on health insurance. Im not planning on having a baby anytime soon, maybe in the next 2 years. BUT, just in case something happens and I do become pregnant...I want insurance that covers maternity too. But I cant find any. I live in Indiana.""

Car insurance?

ok if i was to get a new infiniti ex how much does auto insurance cost me anyone know

""What is the cheapest insurance for a teenager in alex,la for a motorcycle?""

What is the cheapest insurance for a teenager in alex,la for a motorcycle?""

What car is quite cheap to buy and is also cheap on insurance for a first time driver?

my parents are gettin me a car but im payin insurance .. any ideas?

What's the average insurance premium for first drivers these days?

I'm 18, and im going to buy a car. It's a 2002/2003 car, so not too recent. Im looking for quotes online and the cheapest im getting is about 4500. This is me being the policy holder and not any other family members. Does this sound right? Personally i think it's outrageous... Thanks.""

Cheapest and reliable car insurace company?

how has the lowest quote out under normal circumstances? i know they categorize it based on age,sex, etc. just tell me who has the cheapest insurance.is it really GEICO?""

How much does insurance cover?

I have blue cross shield insurance I am fourteen how much would I be for Invisalign On my bottom teeth? I got braces on my top years ago The insurance covered all of my tonsilectomy we paid nothing out of pocket.

""I lost my wallet and need to replace my drivers license, do I have to have a form of car insurance?""

Im in Texas. Also, how much does it usually cost to replace the drivers license?""

Car insurance young driver need help???

need my insurance to be 1500 or less ....any insurers would be a great help a few months ago a had a 1000 quote fully comp now i cant get lower than 2000. need help.

Looking for add on health insurance my company maxes out at $25000.00?

do insurance companies sell that type of insurance

Why do good drivers get better car insurance rates than bad drivers?

It's not fair. Some people are genetically predisposed to be bad drivers or just don't care. Why should they be charged more than drivers who do not participate in risky behavior?

Does voiding warranty affect my insurance. from a different company?

I'm thinking of rooting my phone but it is still under warranty and I am paying insurance for my phone using a different company. Will rooting my pg phone affect my insurance in any way?

How much are insurance costs on a new car versus a used car?

I know it's going to be expensive, but to make matters worse I'm only 16.""

How much is motorcylce insurance for state farm and is there one cheaper then state farm?

im gonna buy a bike and heard that its cheaper for a bike and its insurance then a car and its insurance... thanks for the help

HELP! Car & Insurance for 17 year old.?

Hi, I'm 17 in a week & will be starting my driving lessons. I have my theory booked for a few days after & aim to pass in around 6 weeks, depending on the waiting list for the test, having 3-4 lessons a week. Driving a car isn't a problem for me, have had plenty of practise on tracks in my dads weapon ;) & have for the last 8 weeks or so been going to an empty industrial estate one or twice a week, driving my mums cooper S or occasionally my uncles M3. Just need practice with the ways of public roads from my instructor. Anyway, as you can probably tell I've had a fair bit of experience driving fairly fast cars, so thats where i need advice - can anybody suggest any fairly fast cars that are reasonable to insure? or any cheap insurance company's, or any ways to get insurance down, as long as they aren't completely ridiculous lies, I want to keep it as legit as possibly ideally. So far I've been quoted 1600-ish on a standard golf on my mums insurance, but ideally want something a bit quicker then that. My budget for a car + insurance overall is 4-5k. My ideal car would be a GTI, anybody know where i can insure one cheap-ish? ALSO, *PLEEEEASE* no do-gooder's telling me it is 'fronting' to go on my mums insurance, I am well aware of this, however I am also aware that if the car is registered in my mums name with the DVLA, then they don't have a leg to stand on. I have checked this with one of my mums friends, a solicitor. Also, nobody telling me that I 'wouldn't be able to handle the power' or that I'd 'kill myself', believe me, I'd smoke you ;). Sorry its a bit long, please help! :-)""

My teenager (17) just got her permit. Would she be covered under my insurance?

I have not added her specifically to my insurance policy. I only have PLPD on the vehicle. Would she be covered if she hit anything... anyone , yikes! Or do I have to call to add her? It will raise my policy a LOT but she's almost 18 and when she gets her license she will have to pay for her own insurance. So for now I am trying to fly under the radar but legally. Is that possible?""

Motorcycle insurance?

Hello. I live in ontario. I am currently interested in getting a motorcycle and undergoing my m1 then thereafter m2 licencing. I am interested in getting a sport type bike (600-750cc). Either being a YAMAHA or Kawasaki. I am 26 years old. Who would be the best to get the insurance from and what regulations are there towards the insurance for motorcycle drivers? THANKS!

Insurance for 16 year old?

Hi, i live in California and I am 16 years old, I'm just wondering how much it will cost my parents every month/year for my car insurance. I have an Audi A3 2008 and I have Farmers Insurance. Please help!""

""I'm looking for car insurance, is the General a good car insurance? Are they reliable?""

I have 21st century and my premium is high, so I looked into the General and they're only charging me half of what I'm used to, but in case of an accident, do they really back you up. I have heard of some crooked companies, would this be one among them.""

Insurance on Ford Focus ST - Young Driver?

I'm just looking for guideline figures on what insurance is likely to cost for a 20yr old male on a new Ford Focus ST in the UK. This is with 2 years no claims bonus and no speeding convictions. Any help greatly appreciated!

Whats the cheapest auto insurance for honda civic?

I'm 19 years old, i have had a license for a year and a half. i have had one speeding incident where i was going 100 miles per hour. Other than that i have no records of bad driving. i drive a honda civic sedan. what is the cheapest car insurance i can get so i can drive again?""

What is the cheapest online auto insurance company?

As noted, the cheapest company, regardless of whether I have to sign up online or whatever.""

How is the government going to make insurance premiums more affordable?

I keep hearing how Americans need more affordable health insurance, but I have yet to hear how they are planning to do this or what results we can expect. Does anyone know how they are going to achieve this for us? How much can we expect our premiums to go down as a result of the reform? Do you think it will be more than what we will pay in increased taxes?""

How much does GEICO car insurance cost per month?

...it a kia the 2011 sportage car

What is a good affordable health insurance company?

I am 21 yrs old, with no existing health conditions, but I make too much money to get coverage from the state. My employer does offer insurance but it's very expensive and the coverage isn't worth the amount of money they want me to spend.""

Liability Insurance?

I only have liability insurance and I was told by a friend they don't cover accidents. even if its not your fault. now that sounds like b.s I was involved in a wreck today and it was NOT my fault. what do i get. and also what other benefits do you get with insurances. not benefits but like. what willt hey cover or not cover

How much will my car insurance cosT?

We have Allstate. 2 cars, and my mom and dad are both covered on both cars. If I were to get my license in a week, when I am 16 how much will that increase there bill too? I only want to get insured for one car, and its an older classic car. Also I have taken an online drivers ed course.""

Question about car insurance?

I'm 17, have a twin brother and we currently both have provisional licences. When we pass our test we will be sharing a car. I will (probably) pass first by a couple of weeks. How do I get insurance which is cheap for us both but means that I can drive straight away? Do I buy insurance for just me and then add him on it after he passes his test or buy it with me and him provisional and then 'upgrade' him later? Not sure what to do. Also we're considering buying provisional insurance for a month or so, could we buy provisional and then upgrade me if/when i pass then upgrade him when he passes. Hope this makes sense thanks in advance""

Will my insurance go up?

Well im 18 and as i was backing up and the car(rental car with insurance) behind me somehow bumped into me. Well we both bumped into each other because he also moved forward. The thing is that the rental car company is saying they might have to make me or my insurance pay for the damages. my car only had scratches and his had a dent on the left front fender(baseball size). The man with the rental car bought insurance which means it could cover the damages but the company is saying that i might have to pay. i believe my dad has allstate insurance for the car i was using. IF MY INSURANCE PAYS, WILL MY INSURANCE GO UP, BY HOW MUCH? i dont know how much the damages cost but i am thinking the fender will have to be replaced because it is dented. i still have not reported it to the insurance...""

How much would the car insurance be for a 17-18 yr old male?

The car would be an original Austin Mini Cooper (1990 Edition). It would also be on my own insurance, not parents. Thanks.""

Cheapest car insurance in usa?

im 18. my parents now have a plan in Geico. I was to sign in also in a plan but I think Geico is too expensive. Which car insurance company is the CHEAPEST ( Allstate, 21st etc. ) ? idk if it matters but the place of living is in Virginia.""

I sorta blew up my car would my warranty or insurance cover it?

Well u see my friend and I took my 2010 Prius up to the far reaches of canada to go ice fishing, the locals told us they used dynamite all the time so we didn't think much of it, anyway... We sorta had an accident with the dynamite and blew up the car(thankfully no one was hurt) but anyway, would my insurance(allstate) or my warranty cover it?""

Insurance for a 2003 escort zx2?

So I finally got my 5 speed. My mom is saying it is 700$ a month JUST for liability! It's a red 2003 ford escort zx2 5 speed. It has a sunroof and power locks and windows and alloy wheels. I am a 17 year old girl with good grades and I'm accident free. Is there any way my insurance would the that high or is she just scamming me?

Would it be cheaper for me to go on my parents insurance or get my own insurance plan?

I am 16 and go for my license on the 19th of Nov, im paying for it myself. My parents have geico, i called Allstate today to get a quotes and they said about 210, please help!(:""

Pregnant and need insurance

where in pinellas county can i get insurance help for pregnancy as far as free insurance?

What kind of car insurance is this?

Where I am insured, and not my car. So basically, i can drive any car i want but no one else can drive mine because IT isnt insured. (not unless they have the same type of insurance anyway.) Does anyone know what i am talking about?""

Can I own a car and have someone else insure it?

Ok I'm 19 and currently own my own car and the pink slip is under my name but I know if I get insurance right now it will be high so I was wondering if my dad can insure it while I drive it under my name. I live in California and my dad has State Farm. Thank you.

Cheap auto insurance for 18 year old?

Cheap auto insurance for 18 year old?

Auto Insurance in Alabama?

Can someone tell me what the minimum liability limits for car insurance in Alabama would be?

When buying motorbike insurance is CBT= Provisional ?

I was looking about for insurance quotes for a 125 and when you select what type of licence you have it dose not say CBT at all, but it says UK provisional and UK moped, but i dont think moped is a CBT because moped is 50cc only, can anyone tell me what a CBT licence is called when buying insurance""

How to get car insurance / insured for a 17 year old driver 1.0l car HELP!! PLEASE 3000- price quote?

hi guys, i really need some help with this one: i passed my driving test last week and need to get insurance for my 1.0 l VW LUPO i have been on GOCOMPARE, COMPARE THE MARKET, MONEY SUPERMARKET, QUINN DIRECT ETC but the least i have been quoted is 7500!! how ridiculous PLEASE CAN YOU HELP!! I NEED INSURANCE THAT WILL BE 3000 OR LESS so if any one can help please do please dont post about how you got cheap car insurance 3 years ago because it is not helpful, times have changed as my brother got insurance on a 1.4 focus for 1600!! PLEASE HELP GUYS IM DESPARATED""

What is the best medical insurance for unemployed or self employed?

What is the best medical insurance for unemployed or self employed?

HOW TO GET MY CAR INSURANCE DOWN PLZ!!?

Hi Ladies and Gents, im 24 yrs old and turn 25 in august and my dream is to get a car to help my mum and dad sadly im not the best with technology or bargain hunting im a little bit naive if im honest. Anyway i thought as this will be my first car my insurance would be quite high and i thought 1500 a year would be decent enough paying monthly. so i tried some insurance sites but best i could see was around 2700 and i thought wow thats shocking! i need help from you guys if you can spare a moment please thanks, i dont need anything fancy just an A to B car to help mum and dad with life and me get to work ofcourse. I decided to start my lessons and drive an automatic car starting end of this month at payday! so ive listed some details below that i think you can help me to get a cheaper deal, thank you guys very much for being kind. ok... my car will be a cheap one maybe 1000 2nd hand automatic civic,corsa or something pref 3 door 1.4L is fine also i seen some on auto trader. annual miles 10k SD&P<<im sure thats rite social and work? fully comp i may hang off till i turn 25 if my insurance will go down and also i thought a little about going on someone elses insurance (my aunt has a mobility car for my mum) or adding someone to mine? not sure? also my sister and her BF have a car but im a little scared to ask them haha! so can anyone please help me get a cheap quote thanks a million,!""

How dos US car insurance work compared to english car insurance?

I'm looking to get a bmw x5 but insurance is 9000k a year like $13000k I heard they do it different so its easier to get bigger cars. In england they don't allow young drivers to get big cars so the insurance is expensive How dos us car insurance work

Classic Car Insurance for a 16 year old?

I recently got my license and am looking at getting a Datsun 240Z to be my first car. My parents are completely supportive of this choice so please don't answer saying that it's a terrible choice. I am willing and eager to learn how to work on cars. Since insurance is so expensive, I'm looking at getting classic car insurance for it. I know they aren't supposed to be used for a daily driver, but doing some math, I calculated that I won't be driving for more than 3,000 miles annually, even if I commute daily. My problem is finding a company that can insure me. Most, understandably, don't seem to want to insure anyone under 25. I was wondering if anyone knew a company that could cover me. I currently have a 3.8 GPA and am in multiple AP courses. I've heard that there are good student discounts, so that may help. Also, I need to be able to get coverage without having a second car to be my daily driver. This is probably impossible, but if anyone could help me, it would be greatly appreciated. Thanks!""

How do i find affordable insurance?

I lost my job last year and had to get medicaid for health insurance because I am a single mother of one. I have since gotten my license in the beauty industry and have just started a new job. The problem is that they do not offer health benefits (I think it has something to do with them being a franchise). And I know that I will have to go through re-determination in November for the medicaid and because I am employed will be denied. So, what exactly are my options, especially now that things are going to change. Any help would be appreciated.""

How much for car insurance for a 2002 nissan xterra?

I'm thinking of purchasing a used 2002 nissan xterra and would like to get some feedback regarding the insurance rates for this car.

Where can I find out about my health insurance?

My school said that if I drop courses making me a part time student, it could affect my health insurance. How do I find out about my health insurance?""

How much Insurance do I need to pay for a 2.5 million hause.?

How much Insurance do I need to pay for a 2.5 million hause.?

How much does GEICO car insurance cost per month?

...it a kia the 2011 sportage car

https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/insurance-mustang-linda-chipman"

[pbandjesse]

Today was a pretty chill day. In many ways! Including the snow! Im at the science center right now. My group is having snack so i have a little break before they get back here for the second project. Im having a good time for mostly winging it. Even if my coworker continues to upset me. Differnt year, same shit.

Today was still a nice day. I got to spend most of it with my boy. And the snow was really pretty. I slept okay but i wasnt thrilled about getting up. I texted James and he said he was sitting in the car waiting for my text and he would walk over.

He came and I wasnt awake yet so we got back in bed and cuddled and played on our phones. But soon enough we were up and i got dressed and we headed to the store.

James borrowed his mom's car and we drove out to the target. The snow was so pretty. We made a pit stop at dunkin for a snack and then off to the other side of town.

Target was fun. We got all our essentials. I got 200lbs of kittt litter. And i got 200 trash bags and 280 ziplock bags. Just dont want to have to buy them again for a year. We wandered around. Got some snacks and things. I wanted to look at all the clearance. And i ended up getting a fabulous black fuzzy trucker type jacket for $11. It fits so well and makes me feel really good.

We wandered for a bit more. Looked around at the toys. And headed out. We went across the street to five guys for lunch. Which was awesome. I'm very glad we went.

Next up was picking up me and Jess's pottery from last week. Im thrilled, they are beautiful. The girls who worked there made me feel really good about them too. I promised Jess photos but I wanted to do them with nice lighting so i waited til we got home.

We were thinking about doing something naturey today but the snow changed our minds. So instead we went home. A pit stop at rite aid to talk to the pharmasist to see what i should take for the sinus pain im having. She recommend something and we picked that up, we also found a bag of weed on the ground on the way out which was hilarious to me.

We got home and i put stuff away while James brought in the heavy stuff. I organized and cleaned a little. He went through all our Etsy stuff to make a better organizational plan for selling. Im excited that hes getting startrd on that again. Maybe it'll make me want to make work. Im feeling like thats going to wait until the spring though. Im just to cold.

We laid down for a while. Watched videos. Spent some down time together until he had to leave again. I tried to nap but just watched tv instead. It was still restful.

I got dressed and headed out around 445. It was snowing and pretty. But i had to get all the way down to the harbor. It was a nice walk though and i had a good time listening to my podcast. My legs were cold but it was pretty and nice.

I got here and worked on remembering everything. I was nervous but its been a really good night. My first program went well. 2 to go! But im doing good so far. I wished i had taken another Advil. But im okay and im having fun.

Tomorrow im at the ship with Frank. And then im hoping to take myself to dinner and like take a bath and pamper myself. I hope getting home tonight is easy and safe.

I hope you are all good tonight to. Stay warm! Be safe!