#just no follow through sksksk

[detectivelokis]

Charlie’s creation day is Sunday and I have nothing for my beloved child. Truly a terrible mother 😭

[stop-breaking-my-heart-telltale]

I am a new reader of your blog, and that is something I want to know (but it's totally okay if you want to ignore this ask!) why you stopped liking [with you]? Is there something in particular that bothered you about this fic?

That... is a question with a loaded answer.

The quick answer is:

I put way too much pressure on myself with [with you] that caused terrible burnout and I couldn't do any creative writing for a long time after; a small portion of my readers were pretty hostile about slow updates; there were criticisms about the story that I had a hard time with; and there are a lot of story beats and writing decisions I made with it that I'm very critical of. All of those things combined, I now have a lot of negative feelings associated with [with you].

The not-so-quick answer involves a lot of self-criticism about my prose, poor choices, the criticisms by my readers, and some behind the scenes stuff. I'll put all that under a "keep reading" for anyone interested in more detail.

When I started [with you], it wasn't meant to be a 50k+ story, it was just going to be a simpler story told in a couple parts... that I then kept expanding. I'm pretty sure every note I have on the original version posted on here starts with, "hey y'all, this story is this many parts now whoops haha"

I had very little planned out, I was just discovery writing my way through everything. I wrote a chapter, read through it a couple times, said, "yeah that's good enough," then posted. Y'know, like what a lot of people who write fics do. "no beta, we die like Ben falling down the bell tower" and all that.

I had ideas of where I wanted to go, but I didn't start an outline until I was well into the story. It was bloated. I felt like I needed to add every single idea I had, and needed to expand on every character, even if it didn't do anything to advance or enhance the story... and that became overwhelming for me to keep track of since I wanted it to all tie together in the end and please my readers.

When I read through it now, there is so much that can be cut that no one would miss. It would flow better and be easier to read.

My prose [the actual writing style] is all over the place and reads like a first draft, especially in earlier chapters. Spelling errors, run-on sentences, whole paragraphs that I should've cut. While I feel better about my dialogue, there are some conversations that read as awkward.

Honestly, the best part of the entire fic is Clementine and Louis' story, which... yeah. I'm pretty happy with the way I portrayed their dynamic, dialogue, and romance. I just wish I hadn't bogged it all down with everything else, like... that's all it needed to be, it just needed to be about clouis.

Oh, and I still like the dream sequence. That's probably one of the better chapters, if not the best chapter.

Now, when I say I made bad choices with this story, one of those choices I'm referring to is my "big rewrite." This was incredibly stupid. Past CJ thought it was a good idea but she's a dumb ass. You can't listen to anything she says.

Basically, I got the brilliant idea that I would take [with you] down and rewrite the whole thing before I wrote the final chapters. I wasn't satisfied with how it was written. I felt I could do so much better. I was going to trim unnecessary fat, expand on important details, make some heavy changes, improve everything, and then repost it with the ending.... so I deleted it off AO3 and got to work.

Terrible idea. Don't ask me why. What I should've done was discontinued that version, made a note that it was old, and then published the new version separately. But I didn't. And a lot of people were pissed at me. Shocking.

I should've just finished it. I should've finished it, posted it, and then went from there. But I didn't. Ever since then I've gotten a lot of readers who would go on anon and send me messages about [with you] that are passive aggressive or guilt trippy. That soured my feelings about the story and myself as a writer tremendously.

Then there's Violet.

I wrote the first few chapters before Ep4 of TFS was released, meaning I wrote Violet before we found out that she's blinded in the explosion in her kidnapped route. I took the "Violet despises you" route, and a big plot point of the story is Violet dealing with all these conflicting feelings about Clementine, hating her but also not, distancing herself from the group, the strain it put on her and Louis' friendship, etc.

I don't like how I portrayed Violet for a number of reasons. I know what I was trying to do, and I knew I couldn't [or wouldn't] scrap everything I already wrote about her and rewrite in a blind Violet on friendly terms with Clementine... because sure, I wanted to do this grand rewrite that sounded easy enough on paper, but in practice that was so much work that intimidated me.

Because behind the scenes fun- for the rewrite, I wanted to do that. That was a major change that would've cut so much from the story I wasn't happy with, and would've been a more positive portrayal of the character. But then I saw just how much would be cut and how much I'd have to write and it scared me off from the idea... so I tried to work with what I had and I still hate it.

Violet's very antagonistic in the story. She attacked Clementine after the boat explosion. Everyone thinks she'll attack her again. Mitch calls her a traitorous bitch and doesn't trust her to not stab Clementine in a conversation. There's even a point where it's mentioned that in the past she slapped Louis during a conversation. She just has a pissy attitude throughout the story but then berates herself for it and I just... I was going for a slow burn recovery that explores her trauma and ends with her reconciling with Clementine... but it doesn't come off that way? Some parts I think I executed better than others but most of it I look back at and say, "...No, past CJ, that doesn't read like you think it does...."

But that wasn't my only criticism I got about the way I wrote Violet, and this one is... a little complicated? And something most probably wouldn't take issue with or even notice unless you're a major Violet stan... but I pretty much gave Mitch [a character I loved at the time] a lot of Violet's canon character points and explored them more positively, then turned around and made Violet more antagonistic, which......yeeeeeah.

The only defense I have for this is it wasn't intentional. It really wasn't, but I understand and think it's a valid complaint. Like... I used to get these anons who would tell me this and I'd quietly delete them because, "...nope, not touching that. If I don't acknowledge it, it doesn't exist."

Lemme explain: In my fics, Mitch is gay. He had feelings for his best friend and roommate, Justin, before he died to walkers, and Mitch hasn't trusted "gross feelings" ever since... until James shows up and Mitch has to face the fact that he has romantic feelings for him while not being completely over Justin...

...y'know, totally different from Violet who is gay, had feelings for Minerva before she "died," and hasn't trusted mushy feelings ever since... until Clementine shows up and Violet has to face the fact that she has romantic feelings for her while not being completely over Minerva....

It's surface level stuff since they are written differently, and it's not like you're not allowed to have more than one character with character beats like that, but it's enough of a similarity that I get why it would rub Violet lovers the wrong way. Especially since nothing about that is canon with Mitch's character, y'know? It's the character I gave him.

I don't think it was coming from the Violet crowd [the aggressively obnoxious fans no one likes], I think it came from people who were genuinely bummed or put off by my more antagonistic portrayal of her, only to see similar traits portrayed positively with Mitch.

And that bothers me. I do like the way I wrote Mitch, but I hate the way I wrote Violet. It's made me step back and analyze why I wrote them the way I did, y'know?

But the BIGGEST criticism from readers I've gotten?

[with you] is unfinished.... valid, but there isn't anything I can add that. Sorry y'all, it's discontinued, I'm never going to finish it.

The best I can give you is what I planned: a big wedding scene where Clementine and Louis exchanged vows and kissed. Violet showed up and made amends with Clementine. Clementine talked Mitch into dancing with her even though he hates dancing. Aasim tried to ask Ruby to dance, panicked, and asked Mitch instead who was like "...Fuck no, RUBY COME DANCE WITH AASIM!" Louis and Clementine left early to head back to their room and it probably would've ended with some sappy line about being together to the end.

So... there ya go? It's not a final chapter but that's the gist of what would've happened.

But moving on, I was also going through a lot of things in my personal life that I won't get into. I was working on other writing projects that I had more interest in, so [with you] was put on the backburner. Then, over time I grew more sour about it the more pressure and guilt I put on myself, added with the pressure and guilt put on by my readers.

I do want to clarify that it's not like ALL of my readers were like this. Most of them were sweet, supportive followers who only had nice things to say. But you know how it is... you could get ten comments/asks, nine of them positive and one negative, and it's the negative one that's going to stick to you.

So, to my lovely readers, I am sorry that I let you down by not finishing it. To the rude readers, I'm less sorry because y'all were dicks.

Y'know... I can look at all of my other works and either be like "Yeah, I'm really proud of that story," or "Eh, it was one of my earlier works, so I can't be too hard on it."

But [with you] puts me in a crisis of "oh god I'm a fraud, I was never a good writer, what am I doing??? why?? why are you like this??"

and I have to snap myself out of it. That's why I'm so like this about it now.

There are other little things I could go into, but this answer is long enough. I figure if anyone has any further questions or criticisms, they'll send 'em in and I can answer them that way.

I've moved on from all my twdg writing, I'm writing dragon age stuff now, and it's finally working for me so it's not like [with you] has me all hung up still. Plus, I think it's good to go back and learn from mistakes made in old works, y'know?

[elliesmainhoe]

i actually need military! ellie surprising her wife at home i woudl die sksksk

sorry this is so randkm😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭🤫🤫🤫🤫🤫

Miss me sugar?

Military!Ellie X Reader imagine

Summary: After three months of deployment, Ellie returns home.

Contents: fluff, southern!Ellie, mentions of nudes, kisses, Ellie picks you up, a little bit of suggestive language, pet name use 'Doll and sugar',

It was the first deployment you and Ellie had went through as a couple, and god it was torturous. You missed her desperately, her beautiful freckled face and gorgeous laugh, you both sent letters to eachother, you to her more often than not.

It saddened you to hear from her so little, but you understood why, she was deployed in a country recovering from war- writing a letter to you wouldn't be her main priority, but you still felt a small warmth of comfort whenever you sent her a letter.

Unbeknownst to you- a warmth of happiness also comforted Ellie by your letters. The contents was always a a4 piece of paper, your handwriting scribbled on both sides tucked and folded into a white paper envelope along with two polaroids.

One of them was you sitting on the sandy beach that was located near your home, wearing your favourite summer dress and straw sun hat- wind in your hair as it blew behind you . The other was a selfie, you laying on your shared bed, makeup all messy and hair sprawled out on the pillow behind you- smudged eyeliner and glossy red lips, you wore a white spaghetti strapped vest, hard nipples pressing through the material.

Lets just say you helped with keeping her entertained during those long nights laying wide awake on the bottom bunk on one of the many bunk beds that were pushed up against the side of the white washed concrete wall in the shared.

She had missed you so much, her heart throbbed every time she looked upon that pretty Polaroid and the letter you sent her every three weeks. When she got the call that she could return home a month earlier than what was planned, she was ecstatic- finding it hard not to schedule a phone call home, announcing the good news.

But another idea nibbled at her, she'd seen those cute videos of soldiers surprising their wives by coming home early. The idea of seeing your suprise face, soft lips parted in suprise and eyes wide as you wrapped your arms around her neck for the first time in so long made her brain melt.

Well.... Fuck it.

•••••••••••

The soft chirps of twittering birds echoed throughout the otherwise silent suburban neighborhood, a soft breeze fluttering past her hair as she opened the door of her Uber Infront of the blue home that you and Ellie owned.

She thanked the driver, lugging out the black suitcase and slung the grey duffle bag over her shoulder as her boot clad feet began trailing up the stone path leading up to the porch, soft sun shining through the doors stained glass window, casting a colorful glow on the warm wooded floor of your hallway.

You were brushing your teeth when the sound of the doorbell rang through your house, you spat out the toothpaste, wiping your mouth before signing as you looked at yourself in the mirror. Pink stripped pyjama set, hair tied-up, out of the way and messy, your eyes still half closed, well you don't really think that looking good for the Amazon man is that important.

Fluffy socks met the carpeted staircase as you walked down yelling a small "Coming!" So whoever was at the door didn't leave, assuming the house vacant.

Your hand met the cold metal of the door handle, pushing down and pulling towards you. Your heart stopped. Your heartbeat loud in your ears, as you gazed at the brunette- eyes glassed over.

"Ells...? Is that really you...?" You whimpered, followed by a small sniffle.

"Hi sugar..."

Before you knew it, your arms wrapped themselves securely round her neck, squeezing tightly as her arms wrapped around your waist in return.

"Missed me?" She laughed into your hair.

"so... So much"

You looked up, your own eyes locking with her green ones, she pressed her lips against yours, tongues dancing with eachother- your hand moving from her neck to cup her cheek tenderly, massaging the supple skin in a circular motion.

"Think we should take this upstairs doll?.." she smirked suggestively, mouth mere centimeters away from yours-

You could only nod in reply.

--------------------

This is really short and kinda rushed </33, but it's so cute 🫶

Taglist: @aunslie @lonelyfooryouonly @eywaskisses @daryldixonh0e @kittynnie @lovelyyevelyn @randomhoex @moonlightdivine @haerinwho @mufflaa @mial1l @sarahsmileslikesarahd0esntcare @moonlighting87 @escaping-reality8 @magicalfreakcowboylawyer @hejdevkdbdjsd @dergy @half-of-a-gay @ellieismami @cyberlainn @gollumsmygel @sseorii @kyleeservopoulos @taloulalila @ellieluhme @kiiyoooo @delusionalvioleht @joelscharm @hi2647 @gumdropkoo @coffeeandbookskeepmealive @womaniza @namgification @kimiisims-blog @tayyyystan @abigaillovestoread @whoreshores @kylieeluvstlou @knowitsforthebetterr @endureher @erikaar @lanasluverr @sayah13 @ilovebufflesbians @srryhoneyy @222fine444u @jade1212 @amoebagrl @casually-simping @frogtits1

NOT PROOFREAD

[minho-hoho]

Shush

☾ GENRE ➝ yandere, mafia

☾ PAIRING ➝ yan!mafioso!yeonjun × gn!reader

☾ WARNING ➝ yandere themes, mafia related themes, violence, blood, murder, etc...

☾ REQUESTED ➝ no

☾ WC ➝ 0.8k

☾ NOTE ➝ uhh i actually wrote this and a quite lengthy taehyun one shot but it got deleted so sksksks i just lost hope and stopped coming to tumblr for a while srryyy

MASTERLIST

you were shaking under the covers of your bed, as if the almost constant state of fear you were living in wasn't enough, yeonjun had to do his business in your house. the screams and threats were freezing your blood, you were terrified that anyone would get hurt, and that you, would get killed because of what you considered yeonjun's reckless behaviour. for someone who claimed to only want the best for you, and only acted with your best interest in mind, he sure was being dangerous towards your safety. the only thing you could do was wait patiently, praying that whatever thing he was doing, was ending soon.

you heard a scream of intense pain followed by a loud thud. the voice didn't belong to yeonjun, but you didn't know if that reassured you any better. did he kill someone in your house? you wanted to get up and check up on him, and what happened, but the thought of the possibility of seeing a dead body laying on your living room's floor was frightening.

you carefully tiptoed to your bedroom's door, and tried to listen to any sounds that might come out of the living room. for a few seconds, only a dead silence fell on your ears. the silence stopped as a string of curses left yeonjun's mouth.

quietly, you slightly opened the door, enough for your voice to be heard.

“yeonjun..?” you called out his name, your voice quivering a little.

his eyes immediately darted your way, looking at your figure peeking through the door. not knowing what to say, he stared you, his dark gaze piercing your skull.

“what happened, is everything okay?” you asked, a bit reluctant, not being able to decipher his emotions.

yeonjun sighed, looking at the corpse laying next to his foot.

“this is what happens when you decide to go outside and disobey.” he walked towards your door.

it was true, you went outside and went out with some friends when you were forbidden to do so, as yeonjun was scared that the wrong people would get you and him, and hurt you. you regretted ever going out with someone heavily involved in the mafia world, in every step you took, you were reminded of the risk that and of the chances that you'd get harmed by anyone in the opposing mafia to yeonjun's. and on top of that, you added his obsessive and overly protective behaviour towards you, you deeply regretted ever agreeing to go out with him, your mental not being able to take any of yeonjun any more.

but even if what you did was objectively dangerous and stupid, did that mean that he had to kill someone? at this point, you didn't know whether he did it to protect you, because of his borderline psychotic and obsessive behaviour or because he simply enjoyed witnessing the death of over human beings.

“because of what you did, people now know about you, and i need to kill even more people for you.” he was now in front of you, towering over you, maintaining a chilling eye contact with you.

“no matter how much i warned you, you still went against my directions. do i need to threaten you? to show you the corpses of the people i've killed? because i can, and i will if that's what you need.” shivers ran through your body, you knew that by working in a mafia he had to do some shady stuff that potentially involved ending some people's lives. but you never thought he'd kill some people because of you. especially if it could have been avoided.

a wave of guilt washed over you as you felt at fault for the death of many. your shoulders dropped, and tears started to well up in your eyes. yeonjun's eyes were piercing through you in the silence. you looked down to your feet, remorse still eating you, you took a shaky breath before muttering low excuses, your voice unstable.

unbeknownst to you, yeonjun was smirking. his efforts were paying off, he had successfully manipulated you into feeling culpability for things you didn't even control. he was now sure you'd never leave his side, which was his ultimate goal, it was all he dreamt of.

he sighed, before taking you in his arms, startling you a little. “it's okay, just, don't do it again, okay? let's not spill more blood than needed. be careful, and as long as you follow my orders to the letter, you'll be safe and happy.” his shirt was now wet by your tears, you nodded, determined to not make any more mistakes.

yeonjun grinned, he kissed the top of your head. you sobbed in his chest, as he softly rubbed your back, trying to comfort you back into a happier state.

he finally achieved his most important mission, and he was more than overjoyed inside.

PERM TAG LIST! : @stacey-stonem, @sh1mzu, @axartia, @echantedrose, @leeknowbuttsmasher, @nikipedia07, @deafeningballoonnacho, @scrumptiousphilosopherunknown

[lightsoutletsgo]

Hey Mimi! I've noticed lots of people doing the "which mutual is which driver" tag and so I wondered what your choices would be? If this isn't your kind of post don't worry about it! xx

oooo this is so fun! tysm for sending this in, I love this kind of stuff! I only have a few mutuals that I talk to because I'm super shy about starting new conversations! (so if we are moots, pls dm me! I'd love to talk to you) ₊˚❀.ೃ࿔*:･ okay so this is all my personal opinion guys pls don't be offended 🥹 ily: LANDO NORRIS — @jamminvroomvroom; jas is 100% lando 🥹 the chaotic energy is just too similar for me to pick anyone else. always up for a laugh but knows how to be serious when needed. says the most silly goose things but it's just too fucking funny and iconic. also the loml 🤭

CHARLES LECLERC — @thebearchives bear! my baby 🥰 idk why but I like... have to give you charles? it just fits. I think bc you're both silly and goofy but hard working and dedicated. plus you both sometimes say things and then realise you made an oopsie and it makes me giggle! (also ur the charles to my carlos soooo)

OSCAR PIASTRI — @norrizzandpia; the dry sense of humour and the way you both say things so deadpan is literally the same 😭 funny asf but also sweet asf. just two small beans I want to put in my pocket and protect forever

ALEX ALBON — @scuderiahoney; lee! I honestly could not pick anyone else for lee. both of them give me warm hug vibes. alex is v much someone that's super supportive and caring and lee is the same! also scrolling through lee's blog makes me think that they're both quite memeable 🤭

MAX VERSTAPPEN — @verstappen-cult; so I haven't really spoken to you yet (I may or may not have freaked when I saw you'd followed me sksksks) but just from scrolling through your blog you give me max vibes - not just because of the user! again I can't explain it, I just get the same feeling from you that I get from max (it's a nice one don't worry!)

PIERRE GASLY — @jackhues; naqia! we haven't talked in dm's but I love scrolling through your blog and catching up on what I've missed! you give me big pierre vibes. just the way you seem so cool and your blog is super aesthetic and chilled!

[supercalime]

i heard about the whole jatp drama, and i totally get your worries in that regard 😭 sooo often a show has something great going for itself, just for the creators to fuck up so badly that it's almost unfathomable sksksk (also looking at the umbrella academy season 4 disaster). gotta say that at this point, i think i will leave 911 behind fr if bucktommy aren't together anymore. i am out with one foot simply because i only watch certain storylines while skipping others, some characters haven't interested or excited me in literal years. but i love buck. after so many years of watching him try to find real happiness, and with the show slowly reaching a point where imo it's seriously time to wrap it up very soon, i cannot imagine that they will manage to strike gold the way they did with bucktommy ever again. tommy is the first love interest of buck that they actually tried to integrate into the world and the firefam. tommy got the seal of approval, we see buck seemingly finally reach that point in life he was searching for. making him go through ANOTHER breakup just to introduce ANOTHER love interest, nullifying all that bucktommy has established? there is a limit for how often you can press the reset button, and we have reached it with buck a long time ago. let the man finally have something else to work towards. we need a breath of fresh air in here. i am optimistic about s8, and i will live no matter what happenes, but i think that would be my final straw to disconnect from 911 amd canon buck ngl 🤔 fingers crossed that bucktommy is alive and well because it's got sm potential!! 🙌

Couldn’t agree more bestie!

Tbf my reaction to the jatp bs is on me haha. Everything was more intense in 2020/2021 for obvious reasons so it wasn’t surprising for me to have latched on to a tv show and relying on it for my mental well being. But all that bullshit made me learn to change my mindset and behavior on how to interact with media and fandom, which is to have the bar so low it’s in hell.

Anyway, back to 911. I wouldn’t blame you for stopping to watch the show at any point if it’s not interesting any more. I’m not even a fan of this one. I saw bits and pieces throughout the years as one tends to do with procedurals and didn’t want to have my experience tainted with the fanon ship that shall not be named. In fact, I’ve followed lone star from the beginning and I think I still prefer it over the og.

Now onto buck and his relationships. I completely agree with what you said about hitting the reset button over and over. Procedurals tend to stall instead of committing to a solid change unless they get repetitive and/or write themselves into a corner (which both apply to buck here). So yeah, it would be a disservice to bucks character if he yet again goes through another breakup and the cycle keeps going, specially since tommy was pretty well received as his LI unlike all the other ones that weren’t meant to last from the beginning (Abby, Ali), were the wrong person for him (Taylor) or were forced down our throats (Natalia - there was so much telling and not showing how “right” their relationship was, it’s embarrassing).

So, unless there’s outside factors preventing tommy to come back and stay for good (contracts, conflicting schedules, etc), it makes no sense for bucktommy to not continue on the path they are going.

I want bucktommy to thrive, but I won’t hold my breath waiting just yet. If they are broken up or eventually will break up (which I must emphasize I do not want cause I ship them with all my heart) I might quit the show as well. Buck and Tommy were a breath of fresh air and I would love to see what could happen to them if we are lucky enough to see their romance continue

[kyrraen]

YOUR ART IS SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO AMAZING gosh I’ve been scrolling through it I don’t even know most of these people bc I don’t really follow genshin or honkai star rail (I’m sorry if these are not the characters I just know people on twitter like the boothill fellow) but it’s really amazing every time I see pretty art I get inspired to keep going (I’m baby artist it’s only been 2 months sksksks) so thank you for also being an inspiration for me because your art is really amazing and beautiful

AAAAAAAAHH?!?!!?!! *blushes* This is the first thing I see in the morning and it absolutely made my day!!! I'm beyond happy to know I inspired someone! Tysm for sending this kind message ~ I wish your journey as an artist to be full of inspiration, love and discovery! ♡♡♡

[coffeewithcutcaffeine]

I need to know more about Voievod! How long have you been working on it? How do you find the balance between storytelling and providing historical information? I'm about to start reading it, and I'm so interested in the process! Bonus question: do you have any playlist or type of music you associate with it?

Oh my God, thank you so much for dropping this into my in box, loveliest! This really makes my entire day. 🥹❤️ Please, excuse my ramblings if this gets too long sksksk.

First of all, thank you so much for giving my fictional monolith a chance! I appreciate it more than words can say and hope you will find it enjoyable! ❤️ I also do think that it is important to mention that it tackles a lot of dark and gory themes so, please, always check the trigger warnings first — some works are not that heavy, but others might be more explicit and graphic in nature, so never hesitate to skip some of them if you find them uncomfortable.

Now on to your questions!

How long have you been working on it?

Voievod in its current form is actually my third attempt, but I have been playing around with Vlad’s story for nine years now. I started working on my first story in 2015, but that was a blend of Vlad the Voivode and Dracula the Vampire — basically, it focused on how he became a vampire. I eventually abandoned that project because I did not really have patience with it and kept rewriting and re-editing many parts of it, and maybe it was a good thing I did because I gradually came to realisation that his character as a mortal man is so much more interesting than the vampire thing.

I tried to give it another shot in early 2020, this time focusing fully on Vlad as the historical figure. The first wave of COVID granted me a lot of free time, so I tried to use that opportunity to work on the story, as well as catch up on any new information from historical research. I wrote a few drafts but abandoned it again after a few months because I sincerely felt like I did not have enough writing experience to pull it off in a way I would be satisfied with.

I started working on the third and current version in February 2023 — I randomly revisited the old drafts from 2020 and started playing around with them a little, expanding the ideas until I managed to write two pieces I was quite proud of. I approached this with a great deal of respect and fear, then realised that I felt confident enough in my writing to perhaps try again. I think it was a good decision to wait and get enough writing experience before getting back to it because, looking back at my previous attempts, my world-building and characterisation have improved. Still, I am taking this as an opportunity to push myself and let myself grow — and every new piece is quite the lesson as I am often plunging into places I thought I would never dare before.

How do you find the balance between storytelling and providing historical information?

I think the hardest part of working on such a project is the research itself. To depict the historical events as accurately as possible, you have to read anything you can get your hands on and absorb as much as possible. I have loads and loads of files filled with notes on figures, events, culture, etc. not only for one but four separate countries as all of them are crucial for the work. Vlad’s story is even more specific because you really have to separate facts from all the debris and junk of propaganda against him that shaped what was known about him for a long time.

Once you become intimately familiar with the research topic and can swim easily through that sea of information, it is not that hard to find that perfect blend. In fact, having that historical information at your disposal really speeds up the process because you do not have to agonise over the plot — all those events are already there, you just follow them. When it comes to many characters from Voievod, we know what their life was like and what their personalities were, so I follow their lead in that regard. And it is fascinating because real life sometimes writes the most compelling stories.

What balances this out is the freedom other aspects give me. We usually come to know historical figures as legends and larger-than-life beings, and they were undoubtedly extraordinary, but they were people first. I get to breathe that humanity into them by depicting what they think, feel, desire, and fear. I make them make mistakes and laugh. There are also people in their lives that we know little or nothing about, so that gives me a lot of space to create characters from scratch ��� Cătălina is a perfect example of that, and I love having the opportunity to create such a rich and wonderful character. Ultimately, personal relationships give a lot of space to create dynamics as I please, because we know so very little about the private lives of these people.

Do you have any playlist or type of music you associate with it?

Ahhh, I love this question so much! Here is my opportunity to share my beloved baby lmao. 🤭

I have a “soundtrack” playlist on Spotify, which you can find here. I love visualising scenes and playing them in my head like little video tapes, and the right music helps me grasp the mood and emotion of those moments when writing them. Almost all the tracks are actually tied to specific scenes or works. (One is already published and bears the same name. *wink wink*)

Also, as a bonus (let me brag there for a second), here is a Pinterest board for some of the characters from Voievod. ❤️

[drabbles-mc]

Tainted

Horacio Carrillo & Steve Murphy

For @narcosfandomdiscord's Day of Music: put your favorite playlist on shuffle and whatever song comes up first, that's your prompt. My song was Unholy Water by John Pearson.

Warnings: 18+, language, angst, murder, events of s2 ep3

Word Count: 3.1k

A/N: The way I dove into this and immediately felt like there were so many different directions to go with it. I wish I could've tackled all of them but alas. I am just one gal sksksk. Hope y'all enjoy Steve's never-ending existential crisis!

Narcos Taglist: @thesandbeneathmytoes @garbinge @winchestershiresauce @sizzlingcloudmentality @panagiasikelia @616wilsons @hauntedforsst @mirabee @buckybarneshairpullingkink @boomclapxox @nessamc @supersanelyromantic @padbrookcottage @mysun-n-stars @raincoffeeandfandoms @justreblogginfics @ashlingnarcos @proceduralpassion @artemiseamoon @cositapreciosa @narcolini @hausofmamadas (If you want to be added to any of my taglists, please let me know!)

Earning Carrillo’s trust had been nothing but an uphill battle. Most days Steve couldn’t tell if it was a battle that he’d lost, or one that he was just destined to fight forever, because whatever was going on it certainly wasn’t winning. It seemed like no matter what he did, it was never the right thing. He wondered how long Javi had to go through this before the two of them built the rapport that they had now. Steve wasn’t so delusional to think that he and Carrillo would ever be as close as the two of them were, but there had to be something that was better than what he was currently going through.

He thought that he had maybe started making some progress, baby steps at best, when Carrillo was shipped off to Spain. Then suddenly all those months of struggle didn’t amount to anything except for a second layer of loss. Steve never thought that he would be in a position where he would be missing Colonel Carrillo, but the man they brought in to replace him had Steve almost wishing to have Carrillo back. Even with his snide comments in Spanish that Steve still hadn’t gotten around to understanding.

“Wildest wishes came true,” Javi said as he walked over to their desks at Carlos Holguín.

Steve looked up, not making the effort to tilt his head upwards, but allowing his eyes to follow Javi as he started to settle in for the day. “Oh, yeah? What are my wildest dreams again?”

Javi pulled the top drawer of his desk open and tossed his keys inside, but didn’t bother to pull out his chair and take a seat. Instead, he leaned forward and placed his palms flat against the top of his desk. “Carrillo’s back.”

Steve’s face scrunched in confusion. His eyes narrowed, brows furrowing as he shook his head. “Bullshit.”

Javi stood upright again. Gesturing towards the door, he said, “Come see for yourself.”

He didn’t make any move to get up until Javi turned and actually started to walk away. Then he shot right up out of his seat to follow suit. As they made their way out of the building, Steve couldn’t help but to wonder if Carrillo coming back was a fast-tracked decision given the state of everything, or if it was something that was just kept from him and Javi. He supposed it didn’t matter much either way, but he still wondered.

Just as the two of them were coming down the steps, Carrillo was stepping up onto the concrete walkway from the other end. Trujillo strode right beside him, the most content that he’d seemed in a long time now that the Colonel was back once more.

Steve was fairly certain it was the first time that Carrillo ever smiled at him with any kind of sincerity. Maybe absence really did make the heart grow fonder—after all, Steve had found himself hoping that the man would come back even though, all those months ago, he just desperately wanted a break from him.

Carrillo, across the board, had never been the kind of man who engaged in half-measures. That was true for his work life, and his personal life, hence his persistent distaste for Steve no matter how hard the agent tried to climb his way onto the list of people Carrillo could tolerate. Carrillo was a man of action, and his time-out in Spain clearly hadn’t dampened that quality in him at all if his coming-home announcement to Pablo said anything.

There was the chance for things to be different the second time around. Steve knew that. He wanted to prove that fact to Carrillo, too. A lot of things were going to change now, and if Steve had any say in it at all, the dynamic between the two of them was going to be one of them. He didn’t know how exactly he was going to go about it, but he was determined to figure out a way.

All of the determination in the world, however, never would’ve had the scantest hint of a chance at softening the blow when he heard Carrillo say, “Peña, you’re with me. Murphy, Jacoby, stay here to guide us.” No matter the months or the progress made, Steve was still just part of the reserve team. He didn’t have anything against Jacoby per se, but he sure as hell didn’t want to be stuck there with him when he could be out in the field actually getting shit done with Javi and Carrillo.

Despite all of that, he did as he was told. He could be a good soldier—play ball, as it were. The right time for him was going to come to be able to prove himself. He just needed to figure out when that right time was. There were brief moments, split seconds when he had enough self-awareness to wonder why he gave such a damn about what Carrillo thought of him. There were plenty of people out there in the world who didn’t like Steve, and he’d never lost sleep over any of them. And yet, here he was.

Javi and Carrillo made it back from their stint out on the streets seemingly unscathed. No one was physically hurt, which was more than they could say for what had been going on all the months prior when police officers were being mowed down like grass making up a lawn. Steve would’ve considered that alone a win, especially combined with the satisfied look on Carrillo’s face when they all got back. And yet the fact remained that they didn’t bring back any of the spotters. That was something Steve almost could have overlooked or rationalized his way through. What was troubling him most, though, was the fact that Javi was trying to avoid him, trying to skirt his way around Steve’s questions. That wasn’t like them.

When Steve asked, “What the fuck happened?” he hadn’t been expecting the response that Javi gave. No half-measures, sure, but this felt like an entirely new level. Steve could also see how it was already weighing so heavily on Javi’s shoulders. If this was going to be their new mode of operations, if the level of intensity was going to be this high, they were both going to have to buckle down and get with the program. And if Javi couldn’t do that, Steve reasoned to himself a little selfishly, then he would step up and pick up the slack. If that’s what it took to finally get on the same playing field as Carrillo, then so be it. He’d make a point to thank Javi’s conscience for it later.

It was late enough that Steve could have and should have gone home, just started the conversation with Carrillo the next day, but sensibility hadn’t ever been his strongest trait. Stubbornness, though, that he had by the boatload. So off he went, making his way to Carrillo’s office.

What Steve didn’t take into account in his decision, though, was that for every ounce of stubbornness that he possessed, Carrillo had one to match. And each of those ounces was coated with a smug veneer to top them all off. Every point that Steve tried to make, Carrillo already had a rebuttal for it. It almost felt like he’d been given a script of everything that Steve was going to say ahead of time so that he could prep his answers. Or maybe Steve was just that predictable to him. Or maybe he just knew Steve that well after dedicating so much time to finding things wrong with him.

The two of them paced in opposite directions around Carrillo’s office, keeping the distance while maintaining eye contact like two predators sizing each other up. One of them already had the upper hand, though, and unfortunately for Steve it still wasn’t him. It didn’t matter that he could make himself tower over Carrillo if he wanted to—the man was still able to hold so many things over his head and out of his reach regardless. It seemed like it brought him the closest thing he’d ever feel to joy to be able to do it.

Carrillo put a stop to their pacing when he paused behind his desk. He set down his glass, opting to lean on his side of the desk instead. His eyes were locked onto Steve, and suddenly they went from two predators, to a predator stalking its prey. Even so, Steve paid no mind to the shift in their dynamics. He wasn’t going to let this go if he could help it.

The two of them spat back and forth the way that they always did. Steve was as indignant as he ever was. “But it’s good for Peña?”

“You’re not Peña.”

“Because I’m a damn gringo.”

“Because I trust him.”

Hearing it spelled out so plainly gave Steve pause. He’d known all this time that that was the underlying issue with the two of them. The trust only went one way. But knowing it and hearing it, having it thrown directly into his face like that, it was completely different. He expected to feel annoyed about it, angry even. What he wasn’t expecting, was the weird pang of hurt that went through him. It wasn’t new information—he didn’t know why it was hitting him the way it was.

He recovered quickly. It wasn’t as though showing any kind of affect would earn him any favors with Carrillo. If anything showing that it bothered him would only solidify to Carrillo that Steve wasn’t cut out for whatever it was that he was planning to do next. He didn’t want that, couldn’t have that.

“Why don’t you try me?” Steve offered when he got his wits back about him again, recovered from the blow that Carrillo had just landed to his ego.

There was the slightest shift in Carrillo’s expression. Intrigue. It wasn’t often that Steve managed to say anything that held Carrillo’s interest, at least not in a positive way. Carrillo still had his doubts, and he made sure to let Steve know that. But it wasn’t outright refusal the way it had been for so long. Painfully slow progress and yet the knot in Steve’s chest finally started to loosen.

He knew that he wasn’t going to get much further than he already had, so he decided to take what could still pass for a win and get the hell out. “So whether this is about protecting me or protecting you, stop icing me out.”

If Carrillo had anything to say to that, Steve didn’t give him the chance to say it. He was turning on his heel and heading out for the night, leaving Carrillo to stew on his unsaid words if there were any, and contemplate what his next move with Steve was going to be, if there was even one to be made.

The next raid landed them two live ones. They’d be taken in for interrogation, a process that Steve was determined to be a part of, now more than ever. He wondered if he’d chipped away enough at the icy wall separating the two of them to at least earn a round-trip ticket in the chopper.

“He thinks he can trust you,” Javi said as he and Steve watched the two men get tossed into the back of the CNP truck.

“Yeah, and he can.”

Javi shook his head, fighting the urge to throw his cigarette out of anger. “That’s not what I mean.”

Carrillo called out to the both of them to follow him. Steve smirked, that same look that always made Javi want to slap the expression clean off his face. “I’m a big boy—I can handle it.” He snubbed out his cigarette and started walking away as he called back to Javi, “Wildest dreams, right?”

Javi shook his head, mumbling curses under his breath that Steve couldn’t hear, and wouldn’t be able to understand even if he was still within earshot anyway. He let Steve get a few strides of a lead before finally following him. It was going to be a long ride back to Carlos Holguín.

When Javi told Carrillo that he had no intention of getting on the chopper, Steve did all but jump at the chance. He managed to sound much more controlled and casual than he felt, and he was thankful for that. He ignored the slight shake of Javi’s head as he and Carrillo both started off towards the helicopter. The two of them fell into stride beside each other, and Steve could feel the way that the Colonel was looking at him. He wasn’t brave enough to look back, but he still caught it in his peripheral. Part of him wondered what Carrillo was thinking about him in that moment, the other part of him didn’t think that he really wanted to know.

The helicopter ride started off quiet. As quiet as helicopter rides could be, anyway. Both Steve and Carrillo had one of the men that they captured sitting beside them on the helicopter. Steve was sitting directly across from Carrillo, but he still couldn’t quite bring himself to look at him for too long. Instead he looked out the side of the helicopter, taking in the seemingly endless expanse of jungle beneath them.

Steve was surprised when the first thing that Carrillo said to the two men was something akin to reassurance. There may have still been plenty of things that Steve didn’t know about Carrillo, but he certainly knew enough to know that in any good cop-bad cop scenario, Carrillo never played the good cop. He let it all unfold without interrupting, though, curious to see where it was going.

Both men staying practically silent when Carrillo pressed them for information was about what Steve had expected. People didn’t typically cave so easily. What he hadn’t been expecting, however, was for Carrillo’s knee-jerk reaction to that to be shoving one of the men clean out of the helicopter and down to the unforgiving greenery below.

Without thinking better of it, Steve moved to try and catch the man before he went over the edge, which would’ve been futile even if he had been sitting closer. It felt like his stomach was dropping just as quickly as the man’s soon-to-be-lifeless body. The air instantly left Steve’s lungs as he stared at the space where the man used to be. He could vaguely register the fact that Carrillo was talking to the one remaining man they had, but none of the words were really clicking. He hadn’t ever considered himself to be squeamish, and it wasn’t as though he had any empathy at all for the narcos or the men who worked for them, but even so this was something he didn’t think he ever could’ve prepared himself for.

Steve heard Carrillo tell Gato that it was his last chance to give them something, which was a nice way of saying it was the man’s last chance to save his own life. He saw how it played out for his cohort only a few moments before. The second that the man snapped back at Carrillo with a pithy remark, Steve couldn’t bring himself to look at the two of them. He stared across at the empty seat where the Colonel had previously been sitting, and tried not to think about the screams that he was about to hear once Carrillo tossed the man out of the helicopter just like his friend before him.

He leaned his head back, shutting his eyes like that would somehow transport him somewhere, anywhere else. It didn’t take long for the screams to fade, drowned out by the sounds of the helicopter. It was only then that Steve forced himself to open his eyes. He didn’t look at the empty bench-space beside him. Instead, he looked over at Carrillo. He expected the Colonel to already be looking at him, or perhaps looking out the helicopter like he could still possibly see the man he’d just pushed out of it. But what he found instead, was Carrillo simply staring at the empty space in front of him.

He was frowning, but Steve could tell that it wasn’t an expression of remorse in any way. At this point, Steve strongly doubted that Carrillo was even capable of that emotion. Steve wanted to say something, but he had no idea what. His mind was so loud and yet simultaneously so empty. He’d been so eager for this, so ready for it, or so he thought. He was so wrapped up in earning a seat at Carrillo’s table that he hadn’t thought about the things he would be part of once he was seated there. For a brief moment he couldn’t help but to wonder if his fate was going to be any better than those of the men Carrillo had just thrown from the chopper.

The annoyed frown on Carrillo’s face only grew deeper as the seconds passed, causing the knot in Steve’s stomach to tighten in response. If this was the road that he was going to keep going down, he doubted that he was going to make it to the other end of it in one piece. He’d lose pieces of himself along the way, whatever hadn’t just been ripped out of him only minutes before. He either had to get smarter or tougher. If neither of those things happened he was just going to be a lamb led to slaughter like so many other people who had died trying to play the same games with the same rules as Carrillo.

“We’ll try again next time,” Carrillo said, finally looking at Steve.

There was no way that he didn’t notice the despondent look on Steve’s face. Steve knew that his response to the statement was going to matter more than what his expression was, so he tried to play his cards right. Clearing his throat, he nodded. “Yeah, next time we’ll get ‘em.”

It might not have been a perfect answer, but it was good enough to get a nod out of Carrillo. Leaning back, Carrillo shut his eyes, like he was going to take a quick power-nap on the way back to Carlos Holguín after killing two men. Resting his hands in his lap he said, “Trial by fire, Agent Murphy. Glad to know I can trust you.”

Steve swallowed hard, eternally grateful that Carrillo couldn’t see the look on his face. Trial by fire was one way to put it. He was finally part of the thing he’d wanted for so long, and yet all he could think was that it was tainted. It wasn’t quite right, like a baptism with unholy water it just didn’t feel the way that it was supposed to. He wondered if that feeling was ever going to go away. He closed his eyes and tried not to think about it.

[inafieldofdaisies]

For the otp asks!! which I'm still thinking about answers for sksksk

Jacob and Mercedes: 15, 18, 43

John and Sabrina: 4, 24, 30

👀

Questions from this post.

15. Who would sing a love song to the other in the car?

Mer is the one more likely to sing, would it be a love song... doubtful, and if she does, it would be as a joke rather than her pouring her heart out through a song. She has a great singing voice though, and Joseph has made her perform for his flock before, it was the only time Jacob didn't stick around the Compound deciding he's had enough for that day. :D

18. If they were to have matching pyjamas, what would they be?

Let’s face it, chances are those two would never wear matching pjs, if you don’t count Jacob’s undies somehow once or twice matching her sleep set in color. Mer is about neutral colors, lace, satin, bodysuits or straight up sleeping in the nude and stealing his shirt when she’s feeling cold. I can picture her jokingly getting a camo piece to model for him then being like: “You like it? Wear it yourself, Jacob.” and throwing it at his head. Girl has limits, no matter how good she might look in the pattern.

43. What do they like to see each other in?

Jacob likes to pretend he hates the dresses she wears, but he's lowkey into each of them and I feel like he'd be torn between choosing a tactical outfit for her and her usual attire.

If you straight up ask Mer the question, it would go as follows: She'd appear deep in thought, probably send a glance his way for good measure before leaning in and going: "his birthday suit, what else?" with a lil cheeky smile. But on more serious note, she'd have a field day just making him try different clothes for her and do her best to spice up his wardrobe.

4. Who wraps their arms around their partner as they look them in the eyes and compliments them with a goofy smile? Sabrina, not that John needs more ego boosts, but damn if she doesn't do it. :D

24. Who runs their thumb over the other person’s skin to comfort them? Both.

30. Who likes to press their nose against their partner’s neck while smiling? Sabrina.

[stop-breaking-my-heart-telltale]

do you miss when the fandom was active? I miss your ask nights, they were a lot of fun :)

Sure, sometimes I miss when the twdg fandom was boomin', but for the most part, not really. I'm pretty sure I'm just officially burnt out on fandom shit in general, honestly.

I think back fondly on the days when the episodes were coming out and we had so much to discuss, I did a lot of themed nights every weekend, I met a lot of amazing people, I started streaming on Mixer and Twitch.

But then there was also a lot of bullshit that in hindsight was just... stupid. It was really, really stupid y'all. I have no more patience for arguments with people who can't comprehend "we can politely agree to disagree" and want to fight because??? I dunno???

Some of you who have followed me for a while and still do probably know that I'm currently super into Dragon Age right now, I made a sideblog and everything... and I'm not involved with that fandom at all and I don't think I ever really want to be.

Like... you'd think that with Dragon Age being a game series that deals with a lot more mature content would have a more mature fandom [though to be fair, TWDG is also rated M for mature, yet the fandom is...well, you've seen it] but no sksksks I've lurked in the shadows and dug through a lot of DA tags and it's somehow worse than TWDG ever was. DA has a lot of fantasy politics in it and most characters, especially companions, are morally grey and are 110% problematic in one way or another... like you thought people arguing about Louis and Violet were bad? Let's not get started on the fights that break out over DA romantic interests!

I'm just tired... I don't wanna do big fandom shit anymore. I just wanna find my own little corner to enjoy my things and talk to decent people about a thing we both like.

Anyway, my ranting aside, I'm genuinely happy you enjoyed the theme nights, anon. At the time, I loved doing them. That was back when I was working two jobs and I'd come home every night and answer asks for a couple hours and it was a lot of fun.... but I never want to do another themed night ever again. You want the root of my twdg burnout? It was doing themed nights every weekend and not giving myself breaks when I needed them. Don't get me wrong, I had so much fun with y'all every weekend, but they took soooo much outta me.

I think the thing I miss the most from the more active days of the fandom was when I streamed on Mixer and Twitch, though. I've really wanted to get back into streaming but my internet is actual trash. Dunno why, we haven't figured out how to fix it, but it's spotty and stupid and it would 100% ruin every stream I tried to do soooo until we get that fixed, no Twitch for me. Makes me a sad panda :-[

But anyway, these days I come back to answer the occasional ask or discuss the Clementine comic. Sometimes I post a long post/essay about something twdg related. It's a lot more chill and it works for me.

[highhhfiveee]

good morning!!

hello all (: i’m so sorry for not making my nightly “zZzZzZz” post last night, i literally passed out watching spider-man 2 (2004) [i’d never seen any of the sam raimi spider-mans so my roommate and i have been watching them and they are so interesting sksksks like they’re REALLY rom-coms above everything else 😭 and james franco 🫦 but only physically lmao he sucks]

i’m here now though! i’m at work butttt i just wanted to say that i’m so grateful for all of your support, love, and feedback on my works! it means so much to me to hear how the works are making you all feel, and that you’re loving the depth of the worlds and everything 😭 i know they’re not perfect, but…

not to get too deep and sentimental, for about 2-3 years (especially during covid), i thought i’d never write again. i was in such a deep depression, and my support system had convinced me that my passion had fizzled even though i knew it hadn’t. i couldn’t write, i couldn’t read; it felt like everything i’d loved all my life had slipped through my fingers like sand, and that i’d never be able to grasp it again.

this tumblr has been a part of me grabbing my passion again. i was in school for creative writing because words and telling stories are where i feel most comfortable with myself and my expression. dropping out was a tough decision for a lot of reasons, but seeing this blog blossom beyond anything i could’ve imagined reaffirmed me that everything works out when you choose yourself, your happiness, your dreams!

you all are apart of changing my life, and ironically, i don’t think i’ll ever be able to find the words to express my gratitude. my lore has been altered, and this is something that will impact me forever, so thank you thank you thank you to every single person who’s read, liked, reblogged, commented, sent me a message, asked to be on my taglist, everything!! thank you for everything, i am SO grateful.

i wasn’t expecting the new brothersbestfriend!mike fic to pop off as much as it did tbh 😭 so i’m starting to draft the sequel to mimosa! if i go through with my idea, it’s going to be fucking nuts sksksksk (as are most things i write/think) so please prepare…it’ll be a time, for sure.

also working on the adventures of reader and everyone’s favorite pornstar <3 this next one is gonna be so fucking cute, i’m excited <<<<<:

got some other things in the works too, but nothing i’m saying anything about. you’ll just have to wait and seeeeeee 🤭

okay, okay. very long message from me. i love talking, and i (obviously) love words, but i also love you guys 💜 maybe no post today or this weekend, but i’ll be around of course and i will be writing! next week will be exciting times 🥳

hope everyone is having the best day/night! talk with all of you beautiful seedlings soon 💜 (also, thank you for 900 followers wtf 😭 i have to do something special for 1000 so please send me any suggestions!)

[writers-ex]

the mall show was amazing!!! 100% live vocals and lots of funny fan interactions aND!!! ships!!! mygosh bc their management has a "prom" event coming up and the girls made promposals and i witnessed 2 promposals that day!!! bc there's a voting thing for best promposal w/in the attendees heheheh i have a fancam i couldn't scream bc i was at the second floor where casuals were lmao im gonna post clips on the ppop blog and maybe post the whole stuff in youtube when i get the damn time 😭😭😭

and also attended blackpink concert the following day as always philippines loudest crowd AND singing/ rapping/ dancing crowd as well! like 70% singing and 30% screaming in one song for everyone so the pinks had 100k backup singers, rappers, and dancers lmao idk if i can send fancam bc i was so loud again HAHAH like !!! i rapped all the rap parts and suddenly i could sing in korean lmao like jennie didn't mind all the phones up in the air bc she could tell the crowd was multitasking w fancams, partying, and jamming along they couldn't stop smiling, getting goosebumps, and signaling how they couldn't hear anything lmao (also gay bc they were like the crowd's so loud they got excited too and their hearts were beating so fast so rosé made lisa feel her chest bc heartbeat and lisa got shy lmao bc her hand was trapped against rosies chest and jisoo imitated rosé w jennie and the way jennie was looking at jisoo's chest- 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 i screamed fr oh my god those are my bp mainships 😭😭😭😭😭)

my feet hurt bc i jumped the whole concert 😭😭😭 and had to walk to the car from the venue it was so faaar bc traffic like we walked across the beidge over the express way and the venue was so big as well w so many goddamn stairs and like one elevator tf like if you search "philippine arena" our seat was at the top like in the plate thingy already 😭😭😭😭 but it was fun but it was tiring and then we played badminton today and i ate so much and im so sleepy but didhsjsksj cONGRATULATIONS ON THE SPAAAAM

sorry this is such a long ask i hope you get allowed to attend the concert 🥹🥹🥹🥹 u deserve it !! i attended bp con w mommy, cousin, sister so it was fun sksksk maybe you'd be allowed to go if you had someone w you?? back at the sb19 and itzy concert i was w my younger sister so i was allowed to gooo tell us how that goes if you'll be allowed and the experience and stuff!!! i'd love to hear your concert stories like lets exchange stories u know !! i don't go out of the house a lot so these are fun times hehe

- 😚

you are a whole vibe im so happy you got to have lots of fun AND the promposals I wanted to do one for my best friend but she didnt want me to do anything and I wasn’t able to go to prom TwT so im living vicariously through you and those girls, im just waiting for one of my groups to come to the state near I live and I’m running over immediately to the site to buy some-

I hope you’re having a chill one and I LOVED the songs you told me about for that one ask, I’ll love more recommendations plz

[berniecranes]

🤥,👪,🍧,⏳,💔 for any ocs you want of course!!!!!

*giggles* I don't know what came over me, sorry these are kinda long!!! Thank you bestie for the ask!!

🤥 LYING - are they good liars? do they have tells to show they're lying?

Andy: Erm no. He would not be a good liar. I feel you can tell he fidgets more when he's nervous. Tangling his fingers together, tugging on his sleeves or even readjusting his glasses. 'Cause they're his little nervous ticks I'd say more rampant, if that makes sense.

Frances: To an extent. But she truly doesn't like lying and doesn't do it often. I think she'd be able to hide it better because she was already taught to be very prim and proper and she can use that kinda as a mask. That's usually used for more emotional things she tries to hide, but definitely could work for a lie. BUT— when she can't hide it, you can tell. She'll just have a lil bit of a pained expression sksksk

Richard: sksksk I don't talk about him much because he's like my own character not rlly tied to anything. But he's a great liar. And you won't be able to tell he's lying. He's got the businessman ability to be a piece of shit and look you directly in the eyes, knowing he's getting the better end of the stick, even if that means a lie or two mixed in there.

👪 FAMILY - what is their family like? what is your ocs relationship to them? does your oc have any siblings?

Andy: His family is a great lil average family. They don't have much, work with what they have, and love what they're able to have. His family is genuinely close to their neighbors, not in a just neighborly way, but in a legitimate friend of the family way. They come together and have Barbecues, help out with yard work and what not. Oh and I'm not gonna talk abt his extended family. It's fucking big.

Andy is very close to his mom. I feel she tries to never let him feel left out for being the middle child and truly tries to treat all of her kids with proper love & affection and respect. His mom may have a specific soft spot for Andy though, as he was the softer one of her boys.

Andy has two other siblings!! He has an older brother Julio who is in college, and a younger sister named Yolanda!! Andy and Julio have had to share a room practically their entire life and have butted heads from time to time. But he really looks up to Julio and loves him dearly. And Yolanda and him!!! They are the closest!! Andy loves hanging out with her, showing her the plants he's learned to identify through boy scouts and leading her around. They are probably only a year or two apart, whereas I think him and his brother are maybe 3 years? I'm still working them out.

Richard: Ohhh....this guy loves his family. He'll tell you they are his absolute priority. Everything he does, it's for them. He is utterly in love with his wife, Kathleen. And Emily, his daughter is daddy's little girl. She honestly could get anything she wants! She still follows her dad's strict rules, while knowing how fun and playful he can be. Emily is around 8 years old. Richard's biggest issue family wise is his work! He is a workaholic to the max, and constantly either late, or bringing the office home. He has to go on business trips from time to time, sometimes his family can join, sometimes they can't. When they can't, it's definitely rough. Richard misses his family a ton, and maybe that's why he goes out and has some fun. Yes; Richard is a cheater, which his family is unaware about. I hope that first part makes a lil more sense now.

Richard is an only child and has a little rocky relationship with his father. He respected him, but sometimes that is all there felt there was; just respect. When Richard started growing into his own him and his father worked out a lot of stuff. His father helped him become the stern, proper man he is. Richard was always close to his mother, making sure to help around the house so she didn't have to do anything all on her own, as his father, too, was a hard working businessman.

🍧 SHAVED ICE - do they still have any objects from their childhood? what significance does it have to them? what would their reaction be if they lost it?

Andy: He still has a toy airplane that is hung from his side of the room's ceiling. He's had it since he was a baby. He's never pulled it down, he's just use to it there, he likes it. He's always thought planes were cool. Andy likes looking at it because apparently his dad picked it out for him. Andy doesn't have much things like this, so he holds it dearly to him.

⏳ HOURGLASS - are they usually late or on-time?

Andy: Tries to be on time. Mom says is disrespectful to show up late, that person is giving you their time. But for family occasions not hosted at his house? His family is coming in a lil late. Sksksksks

Frances: Shows up early, but in a normal way. It's the proper thing to do. She would never come an hour or so early, she feels that is dropping in the hosts time, and doesn't think that is fair.

💔 BROKEN HEART - what could their partner do that would absolutely break their heart?

Frances: she would be heart broken to find out he was a cheater. I think that is rather obvious and common, but she just would be devastated. All she ever wants to do is be the best she can, and that means giving her all in a relationship. And a bit more specific one for her, which I won't elaborate on, but be like Dante. That would send her into a little bit of a crisis.

Andy: If I'm being real; probably their first fight. Andy is already getting ready to lay in bed for the next week after it happens. He's never had a girlfriend yet, so he really thinks the first fight is gonna be the end. Talking to his mama about all the things he should have or could have done, when in reality it rlly was neither of their fault and will probably end up realizing they were just better as friends sksksksk.

[slytherinslut0recs]

i—i …… holy fuck. no because honestly i need everyone in a 500 mile radius of me to shut up and sit down. class is in session and we are here to talk about the absolute work of art that is this fic. im going to give you fair warning and say this is going to be so damn long. i mean… there were at least a solid 6 times i had to put my phone down and take a fucking breath. this is a draco malfoy fic. DRACO FUCKIN MALFOY???? not TOM— not MATTHEO— not the boys i religiously simp over but the fucking boy i have probably read 3 fics for within the last two years. your profile says published author and dear lord almighty i see why. this fic is on my top fic list. i won’t recover, and i won’t ever be the same. thank you.

You rolled your eyes, returning to your eyeliner in the mirror. “Eyes up, Nott. Would be a shame to see that pretty face without teeth.”

first of all, yes. completely and entirely, yes. immediately fell in love with reader upon reading this line. 😭

“Are you really surprised?” He muttered in your ear as he lead you through the crowd. “It’s a fucking circus in here.”

idk why i loved this so much but i did so it deserves a spot in this reblog sksksks god i love when they swear i just love everything about this version of nott thank you 🫡🫡

“Followed the broken necks,” he replied, his gaze roaming from the top of your head to the very tip of your toes with a predator’s gleam. “That’s all, Nott,”

yep !!!!! yepppp !!!!!! dude my brain is actually struggling to express the level of intensity of which this line made me screech. dear god the imagery of draco malfoy saying and doing this exact thing in my mind is just *insert a picture of a rabid animal biting something*

“I’d ask if you’ve been a good girl, but I think I know the answer to that,” he hummed, pressing his lips beneath your jaw and kissing downwards at a leisurely place.

melted. a puddle on the floor, flowing into a storm drain to carry me back out into the ocean where i belong because i am merely fluids.

“Does that mean ‘no’?” You giggled, letting the heat of his affection flow through you, warming your blood until a buzzy desire bloomed between your legs.

this^^^^^^

“Good girls don’t dance like that in an attempted murder against their boyfriend,” he chuckled, nipping at your ear before sitting up.

HEHEHHEE AND THEN THIS^^^^^ ????? draco shut up you cute little fuck i’m giggling and kicking my feet this is diabolical and i can’t even believe it. only a master of a writer could get me to this level over draco malfoy dear GOD

“Of course.” You leaned in closer, your lips brushing his ear. “And what’s underneath it.” His grip tightened on your thigh, and you felt something hard nudge against your hip. “I suppose Santa should let you take his wallet into town more often,” he muttered, a little raspier than before. “At his own peril,” you warned, smiling.

i am prowling the streets. i am finding electrical cords to chew on. i am climbing walls, and i am biting fists. chat, am i cooked? be fr rn? am i cooked chat?

“No one talks to you like that,” he growled against your neck, biting at your skin while he wrapped your legs around his waist. “I don’t care if it’s my friends, my father, or bloody Minister of fucking Magic.”

okay okay okay okay holy fuck not gonna lie that fight caught me completely off guard but bro is so protective of us and my good lord i don’t have adequate words to explain what this did to me—the mention of his father 😭😭😭😭 someone please pass me an inhaler because shits getting thick in here and i can’t BREATHEEE

“That why you’re dripping for me? Did it turn you on when I got angry?” It was a rhetorical question. He knew it turned you on when he was set off, as it had resulted in many a shagging in broom closets and empty classrooms.

EEEEEEEP???? i’m literally making unintelligible noises at this point in the fic i have screeched and giggled and then gasped and now screeched again and also im sweating???? the way he was murmuring while eating us out—no because i just CANT WITJ YOUR WRITING 😭😭😭😭

“Baby, that makeup…” his eyes danced over your face. “Lose my train of thought when you look at me like that.”

STOPPPP BECAUSE NOW IM SOBBING ????? NOT EVEN FIVE SECONDS LAGER?????? i’m so sorry if someone said this to me it would be instantaneous marriage. how fucking ROMANTIC IS THIS???? HOW UTTERLY REVERENT??? HES SO INLOVE WITH USSSSSS *more unintelligible noises*

“Where'd my sweet girl go? All I see now is a needy slut.” He lightly slapped your tit he'd just been nursing, making you jump and keen, a deep pulse of arousal making your pussy drip. “You know what sluts get for Christmas?”

the goddamn whiplash DUDEEEEE HANG ON—-

“Fucked,” he growled, and slammed himself to the hilt, splitting you down the middle.

—— SIR I HAVE BEEN A MASSIVE SLUT WHEN IS IT MY TURN????? JFC i can’t believe i am actually freaking out over draco fucking malfoy. i thought i was out of this phase i truly really did. you are a damn wizard at what you do

“All yours, baby. Don't fret.” He stroked your hair, staring down at you with a lovesick smile. “Look at me.”

draco my good sir i hate to inform you but i am indeed fretting. oh, i am fretting so goddamn hard rn.

“Shit, thats it, angel. Just like that. Open that pretty throat for me.”

yup. yep. yeup. this is where i ascended and then descended back into my bed to sob. thank you for writing this. thank you for sharing your talents it was a treat and i can’t even tell you how much i will be thinking about this for the unforeseeable future. i’m so glad i decided to click on this. you’re brilliant at what you do 🤍🤍🤍

Bad Santa | D.M.

“Santa can’t be bad.” He grabbed you by the throat...“Sweet girls, however, always have a naughty side.”

feat. Draco Malfoy x fem!reader

SUMMARY: Your boyfriend Draco has thrown the Christmas party of the year, and wears a Santa hat to make you smile. But jealousy quickly throws a wrench into your festive evening.

CW: MDNI 18+, smut with a sprinkle of plot, he hates everyone but her, protective, arrogant, and possessive!draco, slightly toxic behavior, pda, dirty talk, sort of insecure reader?? (she just wants to be perfect for him even though he thinks she’s perfect 1000% of the time), Blaise is kind of a dick in this one sorry

You were running late to Draco’s Christmas party, but your red glitter eyeliner was not cooperating, and you were ready to start screaming.

You just wanted to look perfect for him, even though he loved nothing more than seeing you fresh out of the shower, bundled up in his pajamas. But this was one of the last parties he would throw at Hogwarts, and he’d worked so hard on every meticulous detail.

You refused to be the weak link.

There was a soft knock on your door, and your heart fell out of rhythm, thinking it was Draco.

“Come in!” You called, and Theo opened the door, a flute of wine in hand.

He let out a low whistle, freezing in place, forgetting that he definitely was not supposed to be checking you out.

You rolled your eyes, returning to your eyeliner in the mirror. “Eyes up, Nott. Would be a shame to see that pretty face without teeth.”

He shook himself and strode in, setting the drink on the table beside you. It was fizzy and a pale gold, with sugared cranberries floating at the top. “Yeah, yeah. Malfoy sent me to check on you, make sure you didn’t fall out the window or something. And he said to bring you that.” Theo gestured to the drink.

You flushed, taking a sip of the effervescent giggle water. “I’m perfectly fine. Tell Draco I’ll be down soon.” You set the glass down and picked up your liner brush, finishing the last line. You leaned back to make sure they were even and fucking finally, they were.

“You got it, Mrs. Clause,” he bowed and made a swift exit.

Mrs. Clause? You shrugged it off. Theo was always spouting random shit, anyways. You fluffed your hair and stood, straightening your black slip dress. An inch shorter, and it would be considered lingerie, but you wanted Draco to be unable to keep his hands off of you, and this dress would surely do the trick.

You slipped your hands into a pair of black, satin elbow gloves, and stepped into your black platform heels. For the final touch, a swipe of oxblood red lipstick, and you were ready.

The music was loud enough to feel through the floor as you made your way down the stairs, drink in hand, the party in full swing. The room was completely covered in green and white christmas lights, with dozens of trees decorated in Slytherin colors and tinsel snakes scattered throughout the room. Fake snow fell gently from the ceiling, covering everything in a sheen of silver glitter, though it wasn’t cold when it kissed your skin, collecting in your hair and eyelashes.

It was a wonderland, and your heart swelled with pride that your man made it happen.

You turned your attention back to the stairs so you didn't fall face first, and noticed Theo was waiting for you at the bottom.

”Really?” You teased, taking his arm when he offered it to you.

“Are you really surprised?” He muttered in your ear as he lead you through the crowd. “It’s a fucking circus in here.”

Despite your teasing, you were glad for his company once you got into the thick of the party. It seemed your housemates were pulling out all the stops for this one, already teetering into rager territory and it wasn’t even 10 o’clock.

“He’s going to crash out when he sees you,” Theo chuckled, puffing up his chest when some Ravenclaw boy drifted a little too close to you.

“That’s the idea.”

“Crash out indeed.” Draco suddenly appeared in front of you, stepping from the crowd like he’d apporated there, and you nearly tripped over your heels.

He was dressed in all black, like you’d discussed, his suit decorated with black lace and silver trim. But what really threw you was the velvet black Santa hat on his head, the fur trim and bauble like a silver wolfs coat. He looked…sinful.

“Draco!” You exclaimed, flush with excitement. “How did you—”

“Followed the broken necks,” he replied, his gaze roaming from the top of your head to the very tip of your toes with a predator’s gleam. “That’s all, Nott,” he said, an edge of command to his voice, and Theo dissolved into the crowd.

He extended a hand to you and you placed your fingers in his palm, butterflies rioting in your stomach despite having been with Draco for close to a year now. He pulled your bodies together, one arm wrapping around your waist, the other bringing your gloved knuckles to his lips for a chaste kiss.

“I’m speechless, baby,” he murmured, releasing your hand to catch your chin. He tilted your head up towards him, turning you just slightly to watch the shimmer around your eyes dance.

You reached up to flick the bauble on the end of his hat, grinning. “You don’t look so bad yourself.”

“Let me see you,” he purred. He took your hand again and stepped back, spinning you in a slow circle as the snow fell around you. It was like there was no one else in the room, just you and Draco in a winter wonderland. “That’s simply unfair, darling,” he said, pulling you back into him. “Am I meant to fight off every student in attendance?”

“You’re so dramatic,” you snickered, pecking his cheek, and he chuckled.

“C’mon, let’s get you by the fire. It is winter, you know—”

You swatted his arm, letting him lead you through the crowd. Though, Draco had a considerably easier time with it that Theo did, the party-goers shifting apart like the Red Sea. In a few moments, you found your and Draco’s friends sitting in a circle of couches and chairs by the roaring fireplace. The largest arm chair, closest to the fire, was unoccupied, and you noticed two drinks sitting untouched on the table beside it.

A fire whiskey that was certainly Draco’s, and another frosty flute of giggle water with cranberries, presumably for you.

Your friends all greeted you with warm smiles and a wolf whistle from Pansy, and you broke free from Draco to catch up with her and a few of your girls.

“You have no idea, he was so bitchy when you didn’t show up at 9:30 on the dot,” Pansy whispered, giggling.

“Not at you, of course. He’s just never happy when you aren’t around,” another one of your friends muttered.

You glanced over at Draco, who was sitting in his seat, an ankle propped up on the opposite knee, fire whiskey in hand. He was watching you over the rim despite poor Blaise trying to talk to him, and you could feel his gaze like a caress over your exposed back.

“It was my damn eyeliner,” you chuckled, batting your eyes to show them, and they squealed. “Couldn’t get it straight.”

“That’s amazing! Where did you get it—”

“It makes you look like a crazy vixen or something. Slayed.”

“It’s flawless, well worth being thirty minutes late—”

“Thank you, thank you,” you flushed.

“Let’s go dance!” Pansy said, grabbing you by the wrist, and you turned to check with Draco. Not that you needed permission, just to let him know what you were doing.

“Go dance, baby. I’ll be right here, watching very closely,” he called with a smirk, waving you off.

You swallowed the rest of your drink as the girls dragged you out to the edge of the dance floor, where it wasn’t quite as crowded, and the boys could keep an eye on all of you in case anyone got any ideas. You let yourself get lost in the music and the movement, Draco’s watchful the eye the only thing rooting you to the present. Even from across the room, he made you feel secure as gold in Gringott’s, which was why you felt comfortable wearing a dress so revealing, or going to a wild party in the first place.

But, after an hour or so, you started to feel that longing tug in your lower belly, missing his voice, his touch. You grabbed Pansy, shouting in her ear over the roar of the music. “Excuse me, I have to sit on Santa’s lap and tell him what I want for Christmas!”

“Ask for a million dollars!” She shouted back, breathless.

You turned and sauntered across the room to Draco, eyes locked on him, taking care to sway your hips in time to the music.

He set his foot down, patting his thigh with his free hand, a smirk lifting his handsome face. You stepped between his thighs and eased onto his lap, his arm immediately wrapping around your back to grip your thigh, the fat dimpling beneath the pressure as he hauled you closer.

“Hi, Santa baby,” you flirted, lifting your legs to rest them across his other thigh, your heels dangling towards the ground.

“I’d ask if you’ve been a good girl, but I think I know the answer to that,” he hummed, pressing his lips beneath your jaw and kissing downwards at a leisurely place.

“Does that mean ‘no’?” You giggled, letting the heat of his affection flow through you, warming your blood until a buzzy desire bloomed between your legs.

“Good girls don’t dance like that in an attempted murder against their boyfriend,” he chuckled, nipping at your ear before sitting up.

“Attempted murder” You gasped, pressing a hand to your chest. “I would never.”

He passed you your drink, watching your lips as you took a long sip of the fizzy beverage. “I like that lipstick,” he said, softening his voice. “Is it new?”

You nodded. “Santa bought it for me at Hogsmead.”

Draco laughed, the vibration in his chest making your thighs clench as your arousal continued to build. “Did Santa buy you that dress too?”

“Of course.” You leaned in closer, your lips brushing his ear. “And what’s underneath it.”

His grip tightened on your thigh, and you felt something hard nudge against your hip. “I suppose Santa should let you take his wallet into town more often,” he muttered, a little raspier than before.

“At his own peril,” you warned, smiling.

“Whatever it takes to keep you right here, Mrs. Clause.” His hand slid to the nape of your neck, the tips of his fingers chilled from holding the whiskey glass, and he pulled you in. Your lips connected in heated kiss, tasting cinnamon and drunken cherries. His tongue brushed along the seam of your lips in a request for entry. You parted just slightly for him, a tease, before biting lightly at the tip of his tongue. He grinned, retaliating by biting your lower lip, hard enough to send a delicious flare of pain straight to your most sensitive parts, and you nearly cried out. He soothed the bite with his tongue, and kissed you softly before pulling away.

You knew that lipstick was worth the price tag; barely a ghost of smear colored his lips. He just looked thoroughly kissed, exactly how you wanted him to.

“Why does this party just feel like extremely elaborate foreplay?” Blaise droned, rolling his eyes at the two of you.

“Everything is foreplay to them,” Pansy laughed, flopping down onto the couch between Crabbe and Goyle.

“Jealous, Zabini?” Draco asked, leaning back a little further into the chair, his legs spreading wider so gravity shifted more of your weight into his body. He was so warm and solid, the feel and presence of him making your head go a little fuzzy. Or perhaps it was the giggle water taking effect.

“Sorry, Blaise,” you said, nudging his shoulder with the toe of your heel. “We’ll try to keep the pda under control.”

“I didn’t agree to that,” Draco argued, grabbing your ankle and tucking your foot back against his calf. “Let ‘em suffer.”

“Draco, don’t be cruel,” you scolded, though everyone knew you didn’t mean it.

“Cruel? Cruel would be denying everyone the sight of you. He should be thanking me,” Draco countered, his hand caressing up and down your shin, the other kneading the fat of your haunch.

“Ah, yes. Thank you for allowing me to watch you all but fuck your girl in front of the entire student body,” Blaise snapped, and you felt Draco’s energy immediately shift into dangerous territory.

“Just say you’re jealous and shut the fuck up, Blaise. You’re being a dick,” Goyle shot back, with a grunt in agreement from Crabbe.

“Baby,” you murmured, quiet enough that only Draco could hear you. “Ignore him. He’s just trying to get a rise out of you and ruin our fun.” You rubbed your gloved hand over his chest, feeling his heart pounding through his expensive shirt. He was glaring at Blaise, anger slithering through the blue of his eyes, promising pain.

“No, I want him to say what he means,” Draco said, his tone deceptively light, and you inwardly groaned. “Go on, mate. Tell us the truth.”

Theo made a ‘don’t’ sign with his hand, but Blaise was glaring right back at Draco, apparently foolish enough, or drunk enough, to take the bait.

“I wouldn’t parade my girl around like that, is all. Wouldn’t want another bloke seeing what’s mine.”

Draco was up in a flash, leaving you in a heap on his chair. Blaise jumped up too, but Theo got between them before they collided.

“She can do whatever she damn well pleases. And I’m not going to let some microdicked cunt make her think twice about it,” Draco growled, and your heart gave an ill-timed flutter, your pussy tingling anew. You knew Draco shouldn’t be so protective, and it’s gotten him in trouble on more than one occasion, but you couldn’t help it. You loved seeing Draco’s dark side come out on your behalf.

“Fuck you, Malfoy,” Blaise replied, shoving into Theo to try and reach Draco. Theo shoved Blaise backwards and Draco managed to get around him, grabbing Blaise up by the collar. You got to your feet, fear pumping through you, but Theo blocked you before you could intervene.

“Now, I’m going to give you the opportunity to apologize to her on your own, or I will force it out of you,” Draco said, his voice menacingly low. When Blaise tried in vain to free himself, Draco shook him hard, nearly hitting his head against the stone fireplace. “Now, Zabini.”

Blaise’s eyes met yours, wide with fear, but deeply angry. “I’m sorry, y/n,” he hissed through his teeth, venomous as a hex.

Draco pushed him hard, throwing him onto the ground. He loomed over the prone boy, raising his wand.

“Draco!” You shouted, managing to get around Theo is his shock. You got between Draco and Blaise, throwing your arms around your boyfriends neck and pressing yourself to his front. “He’s not worth getting expelled,” you hissed in his ear, his eyes feral and jaw set. “Please, please don’t do this.”

You felt him soften, just a fraction.

“Merlin, I’m sorry, okay!” Blaise shouted, holding up his hands in surrender. “I’m sorry, y/n.” Sincerity softened the Blaise’s voice, and Draco finally lowered his wand.

You applied some pressure to Draco’s front, trying to get him to move, and he took a step back, an unspoken acquiescence. You grabbed his hand and dragged him through the sea of onlookers and up to his dorm, his hand a vice on yours.

As soon as the door closed behind you, Draco lunged, crushing you against the wall in a fervid, desperate kiss. You could feel the tension in his muscles, the race of his heart, and knew that he needed an outlet for his temper.

“No one talks to you like that,” he growled against your neck, biting at your skin while he wrapped your legs around his waist. “I don’t care if it’s my friends, my father, or bloody Minister of fucking Magic.”

“Yes, Draco!” You cried out when he ground his hardening cock against your clothed cunt, your eyes rolling back at the friction.

“You’re mine,” he said, his lips releasing from your skin with a pop, having left a mark behind to punctuate his point. “Mine to spoil, mine to dote on, mine to touch, kiss, fuck.”

“Fuck, yes. All yours.” You pulled off your gloves and dug your fingers into his platinum hair, knocking off the Santa hat in pursuit of another scalding kiss. He obliged you, tangling his tongue with yours and loosing a low groan. He peeled you off of the wall, not breaking the kiss, and tossed you onto a bed.

Not his bed, you realized almost immediately.

“Draco—”

“Just want to leave a little gift for Blaise,” he said, kissing down your chest while his hands pushed up your skirt, revealing the g-string you bought just for him. It was black and trimmed in diamonds, nothing but mesh covering your puffy, drooling lips. “Look at you,” he cooed, softening further. He lowered himself to rest fully between your legs and grazed his thumb over the mesh, feeling the wetness soaking through. “You bought these for me?”

You nodded, chewing your lower lip and resisting the urge to press yourself into his hand.

“How very considerate of you, darling,” he praised, hooking the fabric with his middle finger and tugging it aside. He pressed a kiss to your clit before swiping a languid lick through your slit, finally relaxing back into his usual, calm demeanor. He always settled like this when it was just the two of you, your body laid out all for him, like it appeased some ravenous beast inside of his chest.

Between your legs was where he made his confession, where he bared his soul and sought forgiveness for his trespasses.

“M’sorry for being such a brute,” he murmured against you, sucking lightly at your clit.

“I love when you stand up for me,” you said, your words tangled with a soft moan as he continued to lap at you, so soft it makes your chest ache.

You felt him smile against you before sitting back on his heels, your slick glossing his lips and chin. “That why you’re dripping for me? Did it turn you on when I got angry?” It was a rhetorical question. He knew it turned you on when he was set off, as it had resulted in many a shagging in broom closets and empty classrooms. “Or was it the Santa hat?” he teased, getting up and grabbing it off of the floor.

“Draco, come back,” you whined, reaching for him while he put the hat back on his head. He was toying with you now, seeing how worked up he could get you before either of you snapped.

If there was one thing you knew for certain about Draco Malfoy, it’s that he loved the chase. Perhaps it was the Slytherin in him, the desire to scheme and plot, to coax out their prey before they strike.

He grabbed your ankle and tugged you the edge of the bed, your hips flush against his. “I’m here,” he soothed, running his hands over your thighs and spreading your legs a little further for him. “Baby, that makeup…” his eyes danced over your face. “Lose my train of thought when you look at me like that.”

You sat up, inching your hips closer to his, feeling his hardness pressing against you. “You like it?” You asked, batting your lashes while you push his jacket off of his shoulders, the blazer landing with an umph onto the floor.

“I do.” He reached up to ghost his fingers over your face, brushing your fake lashes with the gentlest touch, tracing over your nose, your eyebrows, your lined cupid’s bow. “You’re beyond beautiful, darling.”

You leaned forward and pressed a kiss underneath his jaw, sucking lightly at his pulse, and he heaved a contented sigh, his hand sliding into your hair. With deft fingers, you started to undo the buttons of his shirt, kissing down his pale chest as you went.

“How do you always manage to disarm me?” He asked, scratching gently at your scalp, watching you through heavy lidded eyes. “I was so angry, then you just—you just chased it away with your sweet little self.”

You preened under his gentle touch, loving that only you got to see this side of him, that there was a Draco you didn’t have to share with the rest of the world.

“I like myself better when I’m with you,” he murmured, tightening his grip on your hair to force you head up. “Like I’m not all bad.”

Your heart cracked, affection making it swell a few sizes too large. “Draco, you are not bad,” you shushed, wrapping your arms around his neck and pecking his lips. “You’re wonderful, and I love you. All of you.”

He smiled, catching your lips in a deeper kiss. “I love you too, sweet girl.”

“Even if you’ve been a bad Santa,” you tease, flicking the bauble at the end of his hat.

“Santa can’t be bad.” He grabbed you by the throat and shoved you back down, looming over you with a cheeky smirk on his face. “Sweet girls, however, always have a naughty side.”

“Not me!” you giggled.

“Back talk, hm?” He slid his hand down to the top of your dress and pulled it down, freeing your bare breasts. He laved a tongue over one of your nipples, making your eyes roll back when he sucked it between his teeth, biting gently.

Your hips bucked up involuntarily, a cry falling from your lips when your clit ground against his length.

“Where'd my sweet girl go? All I see now is a needy slut.” He lightly slapped your tit he'd just been nursing, making you jump and keen, a deep pulse of arousal making your pussy drip. “You know what sluts get for Christmas?” He asked, undoing the buttons of his trousers. You felt his cock spring out, scalding hot and solid.

You shook your head, already half dumb from his hot and cold teasing, zeroed in on the feeling of his cock nudging against your drooling entrance.

“Fucked,” he growled, and slammed himself to the hilt, splitting you down the middle.

You cried out, arching off the mattress when he withdrew and slammed back in, rebuilding you only to shatter you once more. Your pussy made the most obscene sounds, sloppy as it gripped him. He loosed an unintelligible stream of curses, fucking into you with all the fervor he had when you initially fled the party.

“Fuck, Draco,” you cried, muffling yourself on Blaise's now tousled quilt.

“That's a good girl, cry all you like. I want him to know exactly how hard I fucked you on his bed.” He leaned over you, grabbing one of Blaise's pillows and tucking it under your lower back, elevating your hips so he could hit a new, more intense angle.

“Mmph, so deep,” you whined, stars dancing being your eyes, the coil in your stomach winding tighter with every graze of his cockhead against that ruthless, spongy place inside of you.

“Gonna make a mess of this perfect pussy. Shit, love—so fucking tight f’me,” he groaned, throwing one of your ankles over his shoulder and biting at your calf. “So fucking pretty taking my cock,” he mumbled between kisses along your shin, holding your ankle in a bruising grip to keep you exactly where he wanted you.

You were getting so close, swallowing scream after scream as he pounded you.

“Gonna come for me, sweet girl? Can feel you squeezing harder, soaking my cock.” He released his grip on your hip to smear his fingers over your clit, rubbing back and forth at brutal pace, letting you hear just how wet you were. “C’mon, baby. You're so close—oh fuck.”

You came with a scream, biting down on the quilt in a feeble attempt to quiet yourself as your orgasm tore through you, forcing a gush of moisture from your pussy.

“Merlin, baby. That's perfect, you're doing so good for me, sweetheart,” he praised, sounding a little starstruck, and more than a little excited.

It was like he replaced your blood with fire whiskey, burning, bright, dizzying. You were soaring, awash with bliss as he fucked you through it, moving slower to savor the way you fluttered around him.

You blinked your eyes open, bleary and a cockdrunk.

“There she is,” he cooed, setting your leg down and leaning forward to kiss your cheeks, your nose, your lips. “You alright?”

You nodded, stretching your arms overhead like a tired kitten.

“Not done yet, lovey. C’mere.” He slipped out of you, ignoring your whine of protest and tugged you to the edge of the bed. He tossed Blaise's pillow, now soaked with your release, onto the floor. “On your knees, darling.”

You happily obliged, lowering yourself to the ground and grabbing at his cock before he had a chance to sit. He chuckled, letting you lap at his messy shaft, loving the taste of you smeared on his skin. Marking him as yours.

“All yours, baby. Don't fret.” He stroked your hair, staring down at you with a lovesick smile. “Look at me.”

You flicked your eyes upwards as you start working your mouth down his cock, taking him about halfway before retreating. He was flushed and breathing hard, his black button down open to reveal his muscular chest, littered with love bites you left behind. The Santa hat was still on his head, slightly askew from the thorough fucking, and his blue eyes were blazing.

He groaned, hand tightening in your hair. “Baby, your eyes. Got me in a chokehold,” he rasped, hips rocking forward in time with your head.

Evidently, the eyeliner was very much worth it.

You wrapped your hand around the base and increased your pace, close to gagging yourself on his length, your eyes fixed firmly on his reactions.

His head lolled back on his shoulders, throat bobbing as he moaned, mouth falling open. “Fuck, m’already close.”

A trill of pride washed through you and you pushed even further, his head nudging the back of your throat and making your eyes water.

“Shit, thats it, angel. Just like that. Open that pretty throat for me.” He fisted your hair and stalled your movements, his cock buried in your mouth and cutting off your air. “Fuck!” He cried, pulling your head back and grasping his cock, pumping himself against your tongue as the first rope of release splattered against it.

You stuck your tongue out, letting him fill your mouth with his spend while he moaned and cursed, his whole body bowing around you with the force of it.

He milked himself dry, heaving a loud exhale followed by a sly smile, and gripped your chin, tilting your head up for him. “My sweet girl,” he cooed, swiping up a dribble of cum from your chin and feeding it between your lips. “Swallow.”

You did, swallowing down every bit of cum before opening your mouth for him, sticking out your now clean tongue.

He grinned, scooping you up into his arms and raining kisses over your face and neck. “So fucking perfect. How did I get so lucky?”

You giggled, dizzy with delight, and wrapped your arms around him, nuzzling into his shoulder.

"You wanna go back to the party?" He asked, and you scoffed, earning a relieved smile. He tucked an arm under your knees and hefted you into the air, carrying you across the room to his bed. He laid you down and rummaged through his trunk, finding a pair of pajamas you liked, before walking back over to you.

You loosed a big yawn, eyelids heavy, and he chuckled.

“Fucked out, hm?” He teased, pulling the dress over your head and tossing it aside before replacing it with one of his Quidditch t-shirts.

You answered with another yawn, flopping back onto his fancy, silk pillows.

He shimmied a pair of boxers up your legs before tucking you into his quilt, the smell of his expensive body wash wrapping around you as you settled.

He clicked his tongue. “Face towards me, sweetheart.” You turned your head, eyes closed, and felt a cool cloth wipe across your cheek, your eyes, your forehead. Diligently, he removed your makeup inch by inch, careful to not pull or tug. He even let your lashes soak off, counting to thirty under his breath before removing them, instead of just tugging them off. When he was finished, he leaned down to kiss your forehead. “Your makeup was lovely, but you are so beautiful as you are “

You hummed in appreciation, eyes still closed, and puckered your lips for a kiss, which he happily provided.

Then he stood and you could hear him moving around the room, picking up your trail of items and righting the room.

“You aren't really gonna leave that on Blaise's bed?” You mumbled, peaking at him over the covers.

“Oh, I certainly am,” he replied, fluffing it up and setting it back where he found it. “Maybe he'll keep his mouth shut next time.”

You rolled your eyes, snuggling back down into the pillows. You wanted no part of their twisted drama.

A few moments later, you felt the covers lift and the bed dip, and Draco’s warm body wrapped around you, shirtless and in sweatpants. He nuzzled into your neck, taking a deep breath.

“You never told me what you wanted for a Christmas?” He murmured, pressing a kiss to the curve of your shoulder.

Your brain was sluggish, trying to piece together what you wanted. But you could only think of one thing.

“Dark chocolate frog,” you mumbled, and he burst out laughing.

“Then you'll have an army of dark chocolate frogs, my love.”

Thank you sm for reading!

[dollwrites]

OH MY GOD this is the best day of my life you like my #1 most favorite boy, the love of my life 😭 I’ve been waiting for the day I could talk about aemond with you, I just KNEW that you would like him 🥲 I’m completely not normal about how obsessed I am with him lol like I’m mostly joking when I say this but I tell all my friends that it was like my entire world shifted when we were first introduced to him. Also I don’t want to spoil anything for you but I’ll just say that aemond is one of the only men in this show that doesn’t fuck minors so he gets points for that 😅 also I just want to say that there’s a lot of things in the second season that imo are out of character for him and I just choose to ignore them lol. But you are so real for watching it in one night, I’ve literally watched the first season like 6 times. Please let me know if you have any questions especially about lore or anything 🙏 I would really love to know your thoughts about season 1 like who do you like, who don’t you like, what did you think about the ending (especially since it involves aemond) like tell me everything 👀 for me I literally don’t care what aemond does I will literally support him through anything, a lot of people hate aemond and act like you can’t like him or you’re a bad person 🙄 some people act like you’re hitler himself if you like aemond or aegon, but I love villains and I know you do too lol.

AGHH HI BABE I WAS LIKE OMG I HOPE HOTD NONNIE IS STILL AROUND BECAUSE I FINALLY GOT TO IT !!

OMG I LOVE WHEN A CHARACTER SWOOPS IN AND ALTERS YOUR BRAIN CHEMISTRY like it’s truly magical to find The One ™️!!

So I actually started preparing myself to like aemond when I saw they were going ivar the boneless ( my fave character in Vikings obviously ) route with making him the younger, picked on, maimed sibling bc in my brain I was like ok so because of this he’s going to grow up and be crazy ruthless !!!

HEHEEH hes so unsettling too the way he stares at everyone he’s always CALCULATING

ALSO I DID ALREADY SEE THAT HES INTO MORE MATURE WOMEN ?? And lowkey thick I fw with that heavy 🫶🏻 I ALSO SAW THAT HE HAS A PP SCENNEEE I’m going to start the second season in about 30 minutes I just wanted to be able to roll a blunt and settle down with my DP and my snacks to get ready for it SKSKSK

OKAY SO AS FOR WHO I LIKE it’s literally just Alicent and Aemond tbh SSKSKKSK I ALSO LIKE HELAENA ( I hope I spelled her name right ) and Rhaenys, but Aegon is such a twerp to me and so are Rhaenyra’s brats

Can I also say that the dragons are my favorite characters too I like vhagar and the big big one that daemon sang to ?? I’ve always loved media with dragons I used to have this big ass textbook looking thing that was written like dragons really existed and explained their anatomy and history DRAGONS ARE NEVER NOT COOL TO ME

I really dislike Rhaenyra !!! When she was a kid I could forgive her for doing shitty things but she actually got worse as she grew up 💀 and I hate Daemon I’m sorry I know he’s got a lot of fangirls but like he’s been kinda hyped up and all I’ve seen so far is that he’s an abusive pedophile SKSKKS

CAN I BE REAL I DID SEE THE ENDING COMING FROM LIKE A MILE AWAY especially once he had to fly in the rain I was like oh well aemond is definitely about to kill this child 💀 it was interesting how it happened though !! It’s like a stark ( lol ) reminder that the dragons have free will and the rider doesn’t have full control which I thought was really cool and I DO like that it seemed to weigh a bit on aemond, and that it wasn’t just cold hearted like he literally had that oh fuck oh shit look and I hope they’ll expand a little bit on his emotional state after literally murdering a child 😭 in the next season.

IT DOES MAKE ME WORRIED THOUGH for Aemond 🥺🥺 pls pookie stay safe because I know he’s going to have a massive target on his back now

I THINK LORE WISE IM FOLLOWING PRETTY WELL I know they probably reference got more than what I catch on to like I’m sure references go over my head since I’ve only seen the first season like way back when it first came out but I think the MEAT of the lore I’m getting !!

I’m excited but also scared to finish it SKSKSK IF AEMOND DIES I WILL HAVE TO STOP…