#Duke is there too

[demonicsuffrage]

Tim, abruptly standing up in shock: Wait, I just realised that Damian will graduate highschool in 2032

Damian, rasing a brow: Yes, ofcourse? As I am currently in fourth grad-

Jason, spitting out water: What the fuck? 2032?

Steph, pointing accusingly: That's not a real graduation year you made that up!

Dick: I think I just threw up in my mouth a little

Duke, with his head in his hands: Does anyone else feel both their feet in the grave? I graduated this year!

Dick: Feet? More like my entire body, I finished high school years ago!

Cass: Guys I think Bruce is crying

[violent138]

Bruce showing someone his kids' pictures from when they were little: "And this is Jason--"

Jason: "That's a picture of Tim, actually--"

Bruce, fumbling with his wallet: "This is Barbara when she was younger--"

Babs: "Steph isn't even a redhead, how are you messing this up?"

Bruce: "This is Cass--"

Steph: "That's literally a cropped baby picture of you. What are you doing?"

Bruce: "You can't see it fully but this is Alfred with Dick--"

Damian: "That used to be a picture of me and Grandfather."

Bruce: "Here's a picture of Tim."

Batkids: *examining it*

Tim: "That... actually could be anyone."

Damian, simultaneously: "It's not ugly enough for Drake."

Bruce, oblivious to the fight breaking out: "And this is Duke."

Duke, spitting out water when he sees it: "How the hell do you have that?"

Dick: "Well at least he's two for ten."

Jason, going through the photos: "Why are some of these fucking stock photos?"

Dick: "You think that's bad? He's got a picture from the circus with Tim circled in the crowd."

[waveoftheocean]

wahoo finished this in time for superbat week day 5: tired dads!!

[axiliern]

my batfam face ref sheet i made for myself + my ethnicity hc's for them :]

[redsray]

i love the trope of Bruce's kids being yoinked by different parent figures in their lives, and the kids knowing full well and using it to their advantage when they've got any problems with him.

Tim, pissed at Bruce: That's it, I'm staying with Shiva for the week. Cass is now my official sister 2/3 of the way.

Cass, grinning: Baby brother.

Jason, annoyed with Bruce (more than usual): 'Kay I'm gonna go bunker up with Talia for a bit before I put a bullet through you. Cya.

Damian: Say hi to her for me.

Jason, with finger guns on the way out: Will do.

Dick, needing a break from Bruce (again): If anyone needs me I'll be in Kansas.

Tim, nodding: Understandable.

Steph: Kansas?

Dick: I need Uncle Clark therapy.

Duke: Alright I'm gonna go crash at Jeff's for a bit.

Cass: B?

Duke: ... A bit overbearing. I'll tell Anissa you said hi.

Cass, grinning: Good. Bring back Grace's cookies.

Duke, laughing: Got it.

[hopefully-helpful-daemon]

*batkids going out in gotham for the night*

Bruce: And what do you do if you get stopped by the cops?

All of the kids: let Tim or Jason deal with it as the two white passing ones.

Bruce: Good, now go have fun.

[fanaticalthings]

Just a cute lil thought:

Since Bruce's kids all love to play around and hide in his cape as Robins, I wonder if he makes them blankets out of the same materials as his cape so they can have a piece of security when Bruce isn't there?

I remember in Dick and Jason's older comics (correct me if I'm wrong), they used to stay up late waiting for Bruce when he'd go out as Batman alone, so I'm gonna take this as confirmation that all his kids have done this at some point.

So now I'm totally gonna hc that in order to encourage his kids to not stay up late for him or as a way to help them feel more safe and secure when he's not there, he makes them all blanket replicas of his cape for them to snuggle with :')

And also just imagine his kids all grown up, and they STILL have the blankets with them, regardless of if they've moved out.

[demi-pixellated]

Sonic 06 AU where Princess Elise is instead the dimensional equivalent of Blaze because none of this really matters anyway so why not

[bats-and-the-birds]

The Batkids on being mistaken as Bruce's biological children.

Look, the Batkids have all been forced into various social gatherings, and enough of them share vague features with Bruce that some of the older members among Gotham's old money, or the younger ones that are out of the loop, sometimes mix up the facts.

Dick gets it from the very beginning. Old women pinch his cheeks, still tan from a life outside of Gotham's gloom, and tell him, Such a sweet little boy, and just like your father at your age. His hair used to stick up just like yours. Dick didn't like it at all. He bit the first person that told him he had Bruce's eyes, and stomped on the foot of an old politician that told him, With your father's height, I thought you'd be taller by now.

He laughs it off as an adult, but sometimes, it still eats at him. People still tell him that they thought he'd eventually be as tall as Bruce, or that he should be thankful for his inherited jaw line. It's not the comparison to Bruce that bothers him anymore, or even being mistaken as his son, but rather, the fact that he sometimes struggles to remember exactly where his features actually came from; parental faces turning fuzzy in his distant memory.

Jason thinks it's funny, the first time it happens. Mostly because it's his nose of all things. Your nose is bent, grumbled the old man sitting across from him at the gala, Just like your father's. Tough luck on the genetics. The man didn't realize the bent noses were because they'd both been broken in the past. Jason spent days after studying Bruce's face, trying to figure out if their noses really bent in the same way, and eventually came to the conclusion that, yeah, they really did. From that point on, each time either of them broke their nose, Jason would distantly think, Ah, damn, there goes the family resemblance.

As an adult, Jason takes care to make sure people don't often seen his face. The hood does a pretty good job of that. Besides, he doesn't move in circles where the mistake could be made anymore. Still, sometimes he looks in the mirror at the bump in his nose and thinks, Family resemblance. Yeah, right.

It happens less with Tim. Anyone that made the mistake with Jason and Dick also remembered Jack and Janet Drake. It's not until he's almost an adult that a new hire at Wayne Industries, some kid from out of town, sees him and Bruce in the office together and remarks, Oh, you two furrow your eyebrows in the same way when you think. My mom says that my dad and I do that too. We inherited it from my grandpa. Tim feels unsettled all day and makes a conscious effort to not to furrow his eyebrows anymore.

There's no mistake to make with Damian. At least, not the same one that can be made with the others. He's the blood son, and he's a perfect mix between Bruce and Talia. Of course, there's the well-meaning, if confused, adults that assume he's adopted like the others. He corrects them, swiftly, and sometimes aggressively.

There is one incident. It happens while Bruce is gone, after he's been staying with Grayson for a few months. He knew, of course, that people thought that Grayson looked like Bruce. He could even see the similarities. Superficially, of course. However, he never considered that Grayson looking like his father also meant that Grayson looked like him. Not until an old woman leaned over to him at a gala and said, You look just like your father when Mister Wayne first brought him out to these things. The hair, that disgruntled little frown. He hated these parties too. Couldn't ever sit still. Gosh, I really can't believe it's been long enough that he has a child of his own. It took Damian a while to realize what happened, and even then, he couldn't bring himself to tell her that he wasn't actually Grayson's son, or that he and Grayson weren't actually that far apart in age. He felt strangely guilty the rest of the night, and he never dared to tell Grayson about it.

It happened to Steph exactly once. Really, she doesn't look like Bruce at all. It was a man with exceptionally thick glasses, who actually told her that she reminded him of Martha Wayne. She's pretty sure he was just trying to be nice. She tries to forget about it. She never tells Bruce.

You have his eyes, is what Duke gets. Which confuses him, because, uh, no, he doesn't. Not even close like Dick's. He says as much to the woman that said it to him, and she squints her eyes at him and responds, No, you definitely do. Not in the shape or the color, but you look at things the same way he does. Duke thinks about that sometimes, and he swings back and forth between being annoyed and weirdly proud that he apparently looked at the world like Batman did.

People tell Cass that she has his smile. She beams with pride at that. After all, she learned it from him. She studied, closely, the way his mouth ticked up at the corners, both while he stretched the dazzling, fake smile across his face for the public, and the genuine, gentle smiles that he gave her while he helped tie her hair back or slip on her mask, and now she could replicate them both perfectly. She didn't like the fake one, but she knew it was necessary.

[theaceofarrows]

Gotham citizen memes

[raynewolferune]

DC x DP Prompt: Bruce is bad at emoting but at least ghosts are empathic (too bad bat kids are not)

Was reading Twincognito on AO3 when I stumbled across this gem again:

~

" “Danny, Tim. I was just…checking in. Is everything alright?” Curse his inability to make meaningful conversation when it wasn’t a life or death situation.

They glanced at each other and shrugged.

Then Danny hauled himself out of the bed and walked over to Bruce.

Bruce tried not to let too much excitement show on his face. "

~

Now I really want to read a story where Bruce adopts Danny post Meta trafficking and is being his usual emotionally constipated self. His kids keep getting mad at him because he's treating their new meta brother who was trafficked poorly (generally being stilted in conversation with him, walking away hurriedly mid-conversation, avoiding Danny when he's feeling really awkward, etc). They think Bruce is discriminating against Danny for being a civilian, meta, dealer's pick, but really it's just Bruce being horribly socially awkward. Danny knows this because of ghost empathy and find the whole thing hilarious. The whole thing comes to a head with the Bat Kids staging an intervention in the Bat Cave.

[demonicsuffrage]

It's so wild when you think about how much of a shift the batkids had after they were adopted by Bruce, because NONE had a sibling and were like-

Dick, who accidentally walked into Tim's room, spotting the robin shrine he has there:

Tim: ...I can explain

Dick, walking out: Nevermind! It's my fault for wishing for siblings when I was a kid

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Jason: Who the hell tweeted 'skibidi toilet rizz' 56 times from my twitter?!

Tim, salty about the titans tower incident, laptop in hand still open to Jason's twitter account:

Jason:

Jason: I wish Bruce had adopted a puppy instead of you.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Damian, fuming after Bruce got them a shared hotel room on a vacation: I miss the days when I was an only child

Tim: Didn't your mom make like two thousand clones of you?

Damian: I would've preferred sharing my inheritances with all 2000 of them instead of you

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Dick, entering his room at the manor after a patrol and spotting Duke on his bed and immediately shrieking: BRUCE, THERE'S A RANDOM KID IN MY ROOM

Bruce: Dick, this is your newest brother, Duke

Dick: And you gave him my room?!

Duke: Wow, the colour scheme in here is so 80s

Dick: Consider me and you estranged from now on

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Bruce: Jason, unblock your brother, he is currently crying in the living room because of it.

Jason, had blocked Dick after the thirst trap Dick posted got over 100k views on tiktok and now everyone and their sibling was asking for Dick's number: What brother? I identify as an only child.

[incorrect-batfam-quotes-mostly]

Duke: *referring to Tim* What's wrong with him?

Dick: We all have our own theory.

[blueboybot]

Bitch That Is NOT A Deer

I love it when we turn Danny into animals because of some weird reason or another, has anyone else done deer yet?

_______

"AAAHHHHHHH!"

A scream reverberated through the cave walls below the manor. A battle of the ages taking place for anyone brave enough to witness it.

"LET GO YOU BAMBI WANNABE, THIS IS MY CHILI DOG."

Jason managed to rip the package away from the jaws of the beast, he knew it was mistake to bring down any kind of food into the cave where the creature resided but in that moment he was thinking more with his stomach.

Demon Brat had once again found another animal, a baby deer of all things, and decided to keep it knowing fully well how to pull the strings of both Bruce and Dick into letting him keep it. The thing is Jason always got a weird vibe from it, almost like some part of him was trying to warn him that this was no normal fawn and living with it proved that.

After being brought to the cave it refused to leave, claiming the environment down here as it's own. They've all tried to move it but it always found its way back down here so they just gave up and created a space for it. Another weird thing about it is its cry. It does not sound like a normal fawn but instead had the echoing tone of a human baby but appearently only Jason could hear it, the others all said it sounded like a normal animal but he gets the feeling Damian is fucking with him, it doesn't help that Duke is also suspicious of the 'deer'.

But the last reason that really sold him on it not being a normal deer was the fact that it. Ate. EVERYTHING!

No food was safe with the deer around, if you were to put something down it would 100% without fail find its way into the maw of the ravenous creature. This ranged from simple pieces of candy to an entire rotisserie chicken (bones included), it even managed to drink his entire smoothie that had a lid covering it. Everyone tells him that there's no way it could drink through the straw because its mouth wasn't shaped to do so but he knows it did goddamnit.

Now it was infront of him vocalizing its discontent for Jason not sharing his food with a weird ass whine from its mouth.

"No! This is people food, you are a 'deer', ACT LIKE IT!"

The deer stopped its whining.

Looked Jason dead in the eyes.

And stood up...

"Ah hell naw, DAMIAN! COME GET YOUR DAMN DEER!"

[savagegood]

ice hockey nicknames be like:

also, assigned babygirl/angel/wifey by wikipedia:

update: new sidney crosby nicknames dropped over the weekend

[queeniewithabeanie]

Adoption Privileges?

Dpxdc Prompt #44

"So is Bruce the only one able to adopt kids off the street in this family or is that a like, everybody privilege."

"Duke, what-"

Duke laughed sheepishly at Tim who was still processing what he had just asked. He could hear other conversations in the cave coming to a halt, drawback of living with a bunch of vigilantes is that they all love easedropping.

"Well? Like what's the process? Do I have to get B to get the kid or can I just take him myself. He has black hair and blue eyes if that helps, Bruce's type."

Tim was gaping now, looking like he was bluescreening. Duke would feel bad if it weren't so funny. Actually scratch that, he does feel bad, Tim hasn't moved in the last 60 seconds.

"It's just, there's this little meta boy, he can't be older than 7 and-"

"Duke leave it to me, I would love to have another little sibling that doesn't want to kill me. Wait he won't want to kill me right? Nah kids don't hate me that much. If you really think we need to get this kid of the streets..."

And Tim kept rambling and rambling on. Duke was the one gaping now, but it was only for a few seconds before he started laughing. Of course Tim's first thought would be if the 7 year old would try to stab him.

Danny's gonna be okay, if Tim has anything to say about it.