#Crack

[kitthecatgod]

Jason Todd (is a fuckboy)

Okay, so I think it’d be hilarious if Jason took one look at Bruce and his whole persona and went: 'I can do that, but better.' Bruce has the classic “playboy billionaire” shtick: magazine scandals, paparazzi shots at every party. But Jason? Jason has an Instagram. He keeps posting pictures that are just scandalous enough to get people whispering and sharing the posts while blushing, yet never risky enough to land him in real trouble.

Bruce hates it but can’t call him out. Any attempt to make Jason stop is met with, “I’m only following your example, B.”

Eventually it all comes to a head. At a gala, Jason turns up in his tux but wears it wrong; sleeves rolled up, collar unbuttoned one notch too far. Women (and a few men) keep orbiting him, dragging him onto the dance floor. He flashes grins at the shyer guests hovering nearby and laughs when they flush bright red. Hushed whispers and stolen glances follow him trough the night.

Bruce lurks in a corner, absolutely scandalized. His “playboy” image? Pure theater. Jason, though, seems to be loving every second.

The next morning, newspapers run wall‑to‑wall photos. A few feature Jason and his dance partners, sure, but most capture Bruce in varying degrees of horror. One online article even has a clip: the camera pans from Jason slow‑dancing with a man, leaning in to whisper something that makes the guy blush, to Bruce in the background, face frozen somewhere between mortified and oddly proud.

Alfred clips every article and files them away for posterity.

[castillon02]

“The bad news,” Tim said, “is that you’ve probably been avoiding the whole retirement fund thing because you’ve consciously or subconsciously realized that you aren’t financially solvent enough to do it. The good news is that there are a lot of ways to diversify your revenue streams.”

Jason grimaced. “Branding.” 

“Branding,” Tim agreed. “Who does your marketing?” 

“Two high-schoolers, a PTA mom, and Velma at the senior center.” 

“Nice range of demographics.” Tim nodded approvingly. “We’re gonna do a line of merch—Red Hood t-shirts, water bottles, gas masks—but we should start other efforts at the same time. How do you feel about short-term investments? Crime Alley has a lot of small businesses, right?” 

“Uh, yeah?” Jason said. “Franchises never make it there.” 

“So, the laundromat could probably use a new washer,” Tim said. “Summer is coming up; one of the bodegas could probably use a slurpee machine. And one of the food trucks could probably stand to upgrade its fryer capacity. Do it like Shark Tank. People can come up with their own upgrade proposal and show you that they’re a responsible investment, and then they’ll have ownership of the idea instead of having Red Hood come down from his throne of duffle bags full of heads to ask if they need better lighting for their OnlyFans.” 

Jason opened his mouth, closed it again. “You want me to do Crime Alley Shark Tank.” 

“I want two of your lieutenants and two well-respected community members to do Crime Alley Shark Tank,” Tim corrected. “You’re a wanted felon and people’s attempts to kill you would be distracting. You can be a guest judge on the finale.” 

[lordkuntfuck]

911 season 9, episode 1, Peter Krause is back.

But not as Bobby. No just someone who looks freakishly similar to him...

And im just spit balling here so bare with me, but imagine it: Athena is at the mall she walks past a clothes shop say and does a triple take because "Bobby??" She ends up going back and talking to him, and they start meeting up and they're not dating but not-bobby (can't really call him that i guess, so first name that comes to mind uhmmm: Kit) doesn't know that. Eventually Athena confesses why she is so taken with this man and she thinks that's the end of it. But then a couple days later he shows back up at her house, looking exactly like her late husband this time. He tells her to let out everything she wishes she could still say to Bobby. She's just finished when who should show up but Buck, May and Harry. They're obviously distraught and so do the only sensible thing and all run away to Texas...

Wait.

[luumiinaa]

still amazingly good 🤌🏼💋

Third Wheel ​​

What’s the point in being a third wheel if he doesn’t get to watch anyway?

or the one where haechan lets mark watch him get his dick wet.

– read part two here!

ao3 | m.list | minors dni | if you read it, reblog it. 

WORDCOUNT ― 7.4k

PAIRING ― haechan x afab reader | mark lee x afab reader

CONTENT ― exhibitionist haechan, voyeur mark lee, dangerous driving (do not do this), jealousy, mentions of cleaning up clumped cum in a gas station bathroom lmao

NOTE ― this was solely for myself but im dragging yall with me. I just really needed this ok?

​ smut tags under cut::​​​

Keep reading

[bidisasterevankinard]

All I'm saying I couldn't stop myself after this. No real mpreg. allusions to sex and breeding kink mentioned

“Push, Evan, push,” Tommy screams into his ear and Buck does all he can, through pain and white dots in his shut eyes, pushing and pushing,still trying to squirt and see his husband. 

But everything is so blurry and his body doesn’t cooperate with him. He just wants Tommy and … their baby?

“You did it, love,” Tommy finally appears in front of him with a bundle - when did he have time to bundle the baby?- putting them on his chest.

Smiling, Buck takes off the hood, needing to see the fruit of his labor. But in the place of the baby with Tommy’s nose and cleft he just has a … helicopter? Blue little helicopter that wails like a real baby.

“I’ll go make him a baby fuel mix,” kissing his birthmark, Tommy gets up and Buck just nods.

He looks at the baby again, shaking his head, hoping the helicopter will actually become a baby, but now he has nothing in his hands.

He jumps from the bed, needing to find his baby, but … only just wakes up in his bed, not sweating after giving birth, but from the warm body that was his big spoon. 

Body that sits up too.

“ ‘van? ‘at’s wron’?” Toomy yawns.

“I… I had a strange dream,” Buck says, touching his belly and trying to remember all biology lessons he had in school.

“What dream?”

“You’ll never let me forgot about it.”

“I promise to make only one bitchy joke,” Tommy holds his hand to his chest.

 With a sigh, Buck says, “I gave birth.” 

Tommy just nods, “some people say you can see yourself pregnant or giving birth if you have new beginnings in life,” hsi fiance, kissing his birthmark, whispering softly, “We have a huge one tomorrow.”

Buck looks at their suits, fully ready for their wedding tomorrow.

“Yeah, but…,” Buck chuckles, “I gave b-birth to a helicopter. Blue one.”

Buck loves Tommy. He loves Tommy’s belly laugh, but he still pouts because Tommy laughs over him.

“Oh my god, babe,” Tommy kisses him, “maybe I shouldn’t have given you a ride to Vegas and then showed you ‘Junior’ in one day.”

That makes Buck chuckle too. “I enjoyed both of them though.”

“Well, I'm happy you liked it even if it gave you a strange dream,” the last thing Tommy says with a lower voice, pinning him to the bed, “or maybe it wasn’t just a dream, huh, baby? Do you want me to try really hard and put a baby in you? Try every day of your honeymoon till your body just has to keep it?”

Swallowing, Buck pushes his half hard cock into Tommy’s. “d-don’t start anything you can’t end, Kinard. We should sleep.”

“We have time for mutual heads. I need to make sure I keep you satisfied, almost husband.”

Buck would never let him know he almost came from just Tommy calling him husband.

[faramirsonofgondor]

Watching Over the Waynes

AU where somehow it comes out that Jason is alive and while Wayne Industries is trying to do damage control for the public, some intern has the great idea of doing a reality TV documentary series thing (sort of like a mix between Keeping Up With Kardashians and The Office) to address the controversy and also show what the Waynes are like as a family. Bruce agrees because he thinks he’s agreeing to a family interview. None of them are prepared for the whole documentary crew to arrive, and Bruce spends three hours on the phone with his publicist trying to get out of it while crew awkwardly eats the food Alfred had hurriedly whipped up for them. Eventually, Bruce gives up and thus starts the family torture bonding session.

The first few episodes are supposed to center around Jason, who is determined to share nothing because this entire ordeal is embarrassing stupid and he hates the press. He does a good job of scowling at the camera and maintaining his stoicism up until someone (cough cough Dick) says he looks like Bruce when he does that (off camera of course, since no one sees Brucie Wayne as the brooding father figure they all know him to be) and then Jason does a complete 180 and pulls out all the dramatics. He even sheds a few tears as he recounts his amnesia and how horribly traumatic it was, and about how it’s hard to remember life before his “accident” but he still does have a few memories he could share with them (and if those memories are conveniently all times where Dick did something incredibly embarrassing - well that’s not Jason’s fault, is it?) From there they move onto the other members of the family and their perspective of Jason’s situation, what it was like when he came back, etc.

Eventually, once they’ve covered everything about Jason, they start asking about their day-to-day lives, what they like to do for fun, and all that other jazz. They were expecting to hear about the business, their jobs, maybe some philanthropy, and to the family’s credit - they do discuss it. But what’s more than is the small but significant moments they catch on camera, like how someone starts to bring up a topic and then seemingly remembers that they’re being recorded, and shuts down the conversation entirely. Or times when they asked about the scuff marks on the ceiling, and all they got in response was a tired sigh from Alfred and the words “that would be Master Dick’s doing, I’m afraid” they crew did not ask for a follow up (they were afraid, too). Or the time they swore they saw Damian chase someone with a sword through the house, but when they checked the footage it was blank.

There are also the odd, quirky personality traits that the family seems to exhibit - but only within the privacy of their own home. Dick walks around doing acrobatics - up until he remembers that other people are there, to which he awkwardly stops, waves, and then retreats. Tim walks around the manor at all hours of the night and day, sometimes talking to thin air (?) and when they ask the other members of the family they just go “it’s the sleep deprivation” without any other context, Damian keeps a whole menagerie of pets in the manor, and somehow keeps getting more as time passes (the crew is too scared to ask where he gets them from - they still remember the sword incident even if there’s no evidence of it), and it seems like sometimes members of the family will just… disappear (???) at night in teams or groups. Like, the crew will search the whole manor (in a non-creepy, authorized way) and they’re just not there (???)

As each episode airs the public starts making up more and more conspiracies about what the Waynes get up to at night (they run an underground criminal empire, they’re all secretly a bunch of dwarves stacked together pretending to be people and need to recharge their energy at night, they’re vigilantes, they’re all secret graffiti artists trying to one-up each other, etc. etc.) Eventually one of the crew members is bold enough to ask them directly, (un)fortunately for the family, the person they asked was Dick, who panicked slightly and blurted out the first thing that came to mind, “we’re drag queens!”

The crew is, of course, skeptical of this answer. So Dick tries to save face by launching into a whole tangent about his drag persona. Dick’s persona is named Donna (he was panicking, okay!!). He has Tim photoshop his face onto photos of Donna to make it seem more believable (it does not work). The crew begins to question the other members of the family on their persona, and the only one who seems even slightly prepared to answer is Tim somehow (Tim did not explain to his family why he had women’s clothes and wigs - not that they asked, they were too busy panicking over trying to figure out their own personas). Steph decided that her drag king persona would be named Dick, much to everyone else’s amusement. She insisted it had nothing to do with Dick and that she just thought it was funny (despite opting to borrow Dick’s clothes for her performance). Cass was confused on the whole drag king/queen concept and followed Steph’s lead and dressed as Bruce. Jason, like Dick, panicked and said his persona was named Diana. Bruce, normally calm, was even more panicked because he was planning on claiming the name Diana and now he has to come up with something else (he decides on the name Lois).

Eventually the crew insists on accompanying them to whatever drag bar they go to in order to see them perform. Bruce and Jason start to sweat because while Dick and Tim might be able to do a passable performance, Jason and Bruce were tanks of men (did they even make dresses in their size ?). Somehow, they all manage to calm their nerves on the big night and get ready to perform, it’s all going well - Tim does a beautiful cover of “Lola” by The Kinks, Dicks flexibility and walk is fantastic, Steph does a hysterical Dick impersonation, Cass is… Cass, Jason’s acting skills are off the charts. Then comes Bruce’s turn, and just as he starts to get on stage, guess who shows up? The fucking Joker. Everyone starts panicking, and Bruce, who is not as coordinated as usual in his stripper platform heels, trips and sends one of his shoes flying. Straight into The Joker. The heel goes through his eye, killing him instantly. There’s a long silence, where nobody knows what to do, until someone in the crowd (Jason - though he’ll always deny it) starts chanting “Lois! Lois! Lois!” and eventually everyone joins in.

The episode airs and breaks streaming records. People beg the Waynes to visit Metropolis and do a reenactment of the whole ordeal - this time with Lex Luthor instead of the Joker. Lois Lane is one of those people. Clark pouts and says that he could do it, but Lois insists on her namesake doing it. Bruce just sighs and waits for the publicity to die down. It does not happen. The next JL meeting he attends he finds everyone dressed as his Lois persona, except for Diana who is very pointedly dressed as Jason.

Eventually he tries to do some more damage control by having an actual family interview about everything that happened. When the day comes, Bruce answers questions carefully insisting it was an accident. He dutifully ignores Lois Lane’s raised hand for the duration of the time (he can see the glee on her face and does not want to touch that with a ten foot pole). The other family members answer questions too, claiming that none of them would ever kill anyone on purpose. This statement holds less weight when, at the end of the interview conference, fucking Scarecrow shows up and Dick, in a panic, throws his microphone at him. The microphone goes through his eye, killing him instantly. The crowd goes wild. Everyone loves the Waynes.

[theresatzu]

Olive Branch - Part 4

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Pairings. Isagi Yoichi x reader

Starring. Isagi Yoichi, Bachira Meguru, OCs & reader insert

Tags. estranged friendship, unrequited love, marriage, pining, seperation arc, burned house, forced proximity, fluff & crack

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Waking up to the smell of freshly baked pancakes and sweet pasteries was something every human being would appreciate.

Sadly, that was not the case for you.

A blaring alarm reverberated throughout the house, shaking you out of your sleep and straight into your fight-or-flight mode.

The pungent air of smoke infiltrated your nostrils, making your eyes wide in panic.

Was this another fire? Would history repeat itself?

And that so soon?

Hastily, you ran out of your room and flew down the stairs.

"Where is the fire? Do we need to evacuate?!" You panted, rushing into the kitchen.

"Oh, hey Y/n!" Bachira greeted.

"Don't "Oh, hey Y/n" me!"

"Uh... Fancy a toast?"

Bachira turned around, holding a burned something in his hands that, when you squinted your eyes, you could distinguish as a piece of bread that was now a burned to the crisp loaf.

You wanted to shake him. How could he act so calm when the alarm was literally bursting your eardrums?!

You quickly scanned the kitchen. "Where's the fire?!"

"Fire?" Bachira raised an eyebrow. "Oh! You mean the alarm going off! Ah, no worries, that's just a daily occurrence. Always happens when I'm making breakfast."

"What? Breakfast?" You tilted your head, confused.

"So there's no fire?"

You looked about the room. You didn't detect any flames.

Slowly, your pulse started to settle.

"No, just breakfast! Want one?" Bachira smiled cheekily.

You glanced at the burned plate of toasts in his hands, briefly wondered how someone could manage to mess up roasting toast while triggering the fire alarm, then promptly turned around and left.

"It's too early for this, I'm going back to bed."

However, sleep kept eluding you as you kept tossing and turning in your bed, your agitation from prior not nearly having faded yet.

Groaning, you muffled your face with the blue pillow before ultimately giving up.

The fake alarm had really shaken you to the core, and now you couldn't help but think about your house that had similarly burned to a crisp like that pitiful toast.

Shaking your head, you willed your mind to think about anything else, dwelling on it would do no good anyway.

You took your phone from the nightstand. It was around 8 am, far too early for a regular Saturday.

And still no messages.

You clicked on the text history of you and your fiancé.

Captain Thoughtful

hey pretty cant call now bit busy w training

ft later?

read four days ago at 10:32 pm

You

oh ok! no worries!

have fun training nd succes with the game!

read four days ago at 10:34 pm

Captain Thoughtful

cant call busy w a meeting

ttyl love you

read three days ago at 0:23 am

You

that bad huh?

its no problem!

gn and i love you too

read three days ago at 0:46 am

You

i have bad news

can we call? its urgent

delivered two days ago at 6:12 pm

You

you there?

delivered two days ago at 6:19 pm

missed call two days ago at 6:21 pm

missed call two days ago at 6:23 pm

missed call two days ago at 6:29 pm

You

the appartment burned down

saved a few things not a lot tho

im gonna stay at a hotel

delivered two days ago at 6:31 pm

You sent your location to "Captain Thoughtful"

You

call me when youre finished?

i miss you

delivered two days ago at 7:02 pm

You sighed, letting the phone flop onto your sheets. Still no response. Not even a read. Did he even know that your home had burned down?

Did he even know that you had met Isagi again?

Did he even know that you were staying with Bachira for the time being?

There was undeniably bad blood between your fiancé and your former friends, so if he would find out about this whole... arrangement...

Let's just say things wouldn't go down well.

You picked up your phone, worrying your bottom lip between your teeth. You debated telling him that you were staying at Bachira's, but then decided against it.

After all, it was only temporarily.

While you were scrolling online to search for accommodations to stay at for an indefinite amount of time, Bachira burst in, throwing open the door.

You cringed when the door loudly banged against the wall, looking up from your laptop, startled.

"Y/n, let's go out!" Bachira bounded over to you, jumping on the blue bed. You hastily caught your phone before it could fall on the ground.

You shot him an unamused look. Bachira only grinned sheepishly.

Leaning in, Bachira peeked at your laptop. "Watcha doin'?"

You shoved his face away, "Nothing."

Bachira squinted his eyes, then, realisation struck, eyes flaring wide open, gasping, "You're looking for hotels!"

You huffed, annoyed, slamming your laptop closed. "Yes. What's wrong with that?"

"But Y/n!" Bachira poked your arm with a whiny tone, "You're staying here, you promised!"

You raised an eyebrow. "I didn't promise anything. Anyway, I can't stay here. You know why." You levelled him with a serious gaze.

Bachira stuck out his bottom lip, throwing himself dramatically backwards until he was sprawled on his back on the sheets, "You can. Just don't tell him!"

You sighed. "I'm not going to lie to my fiancé. Besides, I don't like imposing you."

Bachira sat up instantly, eyes set uncannily serious. "You're not imposing. You know you can always stay here as long as you want, right?"

You stilled.

You swallowed the cloth that, against your better judgement, had grown in your throat at Bachira's sincere tone.

"Anyway, you've stayed over a thousand times in the past, what's different now?" Bachira added.

You held back a snort at Bachira's optimism.

A lot was different. You were engaged to the man they loathed as easily as breathing, there had been literal radio silence between you for five years, and that one fight before you'd left--

Pleading blue eyes, unshed tears brimming in eyes that were unfocused for once.

Voices cracked from yelling, emotions raw on both of your faces.

A distance between you that only seemed to grow.

Your shoulders grew tense at the flashback of that fight, so you focused back on Bachira.

"I just can't stay with you." You answered simply.

Bachira held your gaze for a few moments, before looking away and sighing.

You missed the hint of disappointment that dimmed his bright eyes.

But it didn't take him long to return to his happy-to-go-to attitude. "Okay then! But in the meantime, let's have some fun!"

Then he dragged you out of your bed.

You struggled in his hold.

"Wait! I'm still in my pyjamas! I can't go out like this!"

"Oh, uh... oops."

Bachira wiggled his eyebrows. "Or... maybe you can."

"..."

"...I should get out, huh?"

A shoe thrown to his head was his answer.

After having showered and dressed up, you were walking side by side with Bachira in the bustling city of Tokyo.

"Oh, oh! Let's get brunch in that restaurant!" Bachira pointed at a building, before practically lugging you there.

"Hey, wait!" You yelped, but Bachira merely chuckled and dragged you inside.

Once inside, you whirled on Bachira, an insult already on the tip of your tongue for basically hauling you inside. However, it stuck in your throat as your lips parted in surprise at the sight.

"This..." You said disbelievingly, eyes roaming about the space, taking in every detail.

"Remember it?" Bachira gave you a wink.

You nodded absently.

"...yeah."

Bachira pointed at a vacant table pushed against the window. "We used to sit there, us three."

You followed his finger, and indeed. The lacquered wooden table still stood there, complete with the varied in colour chairs and the in-laid cushions. Heck, your usual seats were even arranged just the way it used to.

You walked up to the table, voice solemnly soft in reverence. "I used to sit here, by the window."

"Yup! And I used to sit in front of you."

You let out a quiet laugh. "Because then you were closer to the pathway, right?"

Bachira nodded enthusiastically. "That way I was always the closest to the food."

Shaking your head incredulously, you laughed.

Bachira then let his eyes fall on the stool across from yours. "And that's where Isagi always sat."

You inclined your head, mirth still twitching the corners of your lips upwards. "I don't think he had a particular reason, though."

Your eyes slid sideways to the aforementioned seat. It was unoccupied now.

You averted your eyes, something twinging uncomfortably in your chest at mere air occupying the seat.

Bachira quirked up an eyebrow. "Oh, so you have a reason why you sat by the window?"

Tsking, you answered. "Of course. I wanted to see the people and the stars outside."

"Huh. I always thought you sat there because then you could keep an eye on the door."

Face flushing red, you shoved Bachira, before taking your usual seat. "Shut up!"

Bachira took his past seat in front of you. "I'm not wrong, am I though?"

You shoved a menu card in his face. "Shut up, and choose what to eat, Bee."

Bachira stuck out his tongue.

Bee.

That was the nickname you had come up with for Bachira ages ago, courtesy of his brown-yellow locks.

It had been a while since he had heard it.

Bachira hid his smile with his card.

"It really did taste as great as I remember." You commented as you walked out of the restaurant, stomachs satiated.

Bachira hummed, agreeing. "Yeah, it really brings back memories."

You turned to him, eyebrows raised. "You never returned?"

A small smile formed on Bachira's lips. "Today was the first time in five years."

You blinked in surprise, chest twinging.

"...huh."

"But it's good to relive the old days, huh? Makes us stay young!" Bachira chirped happily. "Speaking of that, we should totally go to that old bowling place! Oh, and the arcade! And the mall!"

A laugh slipped past your lips at Bachira's contagious excitement. "Alright, alright, slow down!"

Bachira took your wrist in his hand, eyes sparkling, and for the first time in a long while, the weight on your shoulders lessened.

Even if just a little.

You didn't manage to do everything on Bachira's list, because you had spent way too much time in the mall.

"What would you need gloves for in the summer?!" You looked incredulously at Bachira, who was fitting gloves.

"For the winter, silly!" Bachira replied.

You facepalmed.

"At this rate, you're going to buy something like ice skates."

Bachira eyes lit up.

"Oh No, no." You shook your head in warning at him. "There is no way you're going to buy ice skates in the heart of summer-- aaaand he's gone."

Shaking your head, you could only follow Bachira as he went on his insane shopping spree.

After spending five hours in the mall, you returned home, hands full with bags with... stuff.

"Why would you buy so many things?" You asked, chest heaving from exfortion from having to carry Bachira's ridiculous heavy bags.

"Because!" Bachira retorted. "I needed them."

You stared blankly at him as Bachira tried to shove all the bags in the back of his car. Key word: tried. More like shoved everything in until it finally fitted.

"You bought ice skates. And a blanket with Hello Kitty on it. And painting equipment."

Bachira shrugged. "I love ice skating, I get cold easily, Hello Kitty is a vibe, and I paint."

You quirked your eyebrows. "You paint?"

"Mhm." Bachira answered as he stepped into the car. You followed suit.

"I've picked up painting since last year."

You nodded, intrigued. "I remember that your mum used to paint, too."

"Still does!" Bachira started the engine and the car drove, the lights of Tokyo fading away into a bright blur.

"Huh. How is she doing, by the way?"

"She's doing great. She meets up frequently with Isagi's parents." Bachira replied, before tacking on, "By the way, she misses you, so you should definitely come around sometime."

You pursed your lips in contemplation, eyes flicking downwards to hide the conflict within them.

Momentarily, momentarily.

"...will do."

"It's a deal then!"

"Oh? What do I get in return, then?" You shot Bachira a teasing look.

"Mhm... You can stay with me for a while?"

Your smile faltered.

It's only momentarily.

"...I'll think about it."

Once you had arrived at Bachira's place, you stuffed away all the things you'd bought. Amongst your purchases were some new clothes and a necklace you'd picked out for your fiancé.

You took out your own necklace from underneath your clothes, twirling it between your fingers.

Today had been admittedly... fun. It had been a long while since you genuinely spent so much time just sauntering throughout the city, just relaxing and enjoying someone else's company.

Though...

Your eyes drifted off to the blue blanket on your bed.

It had felt... emptier, without Isagi.

You didn't know what that meant.

And maybe it was better not to know.

You inhaled sharply, shaking your head as if shaking away the thought of Isagi.

The point was, today was fun and relaxing and something that you should have done a long while ago to unwind.

But with your demanding work as Chief Administrative Officer, you worked long hours to organise events and matches. And with your fiancé being a highly sought-after footballer abroad, naturally, he didn't have much time to spare as well.

"Ouch!" So sunken in thought, you had accidentally cut your finger on the pendant.

You hastily grabbed a tissue and wiped the small dollop of blood from your finger. You did the same for the pendant, carefully dabbing it.

A flash of curly black got your attention.

What's that?

You narrowed your eyes, bringing the pendant closer to you.

There were words carved in English into the pendant.

"Happiness is not momentarily with you."

Huh.

"Why would he put that on there...?" Your teeth sunk into your bottom lip in contemplation.

You didn't really take your fiancé as someone who would put something so... sentimental.

Or maybe he was just full of surprises.

Surprises, huh.

That brought you back to your former friends.

Bachira, the ball of boundless energy and an absolute monster on the field, had started painting since last year, something that urged patience and composure.

And... Isagi. Isagi who you had seen once, but whose sudden appearance had managed to tilt your world off-kilter.

When you closed your eyes, you could vividly recall the blank look in his when he had picked you up.

It was a stark contrast to the usually intense ones you were used to.

He had been polite. The kind of polite you used for strangers.

He had been so unlike the bright and brilliant Isagi you had remembered, who always managed to put a laugh on his face.

But people were full of surprises.

And it seemed that Isagi was not an exception to that rule.

Or maybe you hadn't known him that well, as you claimed you had.

The thought made your heart sink.

"Alright!" You said loudly, trying to distract yourself from the depressive turn your thoughts had taken.

"Let's just... check my inbox for available hotels." You mumbled, ignoring the tug at your chest.

You opened your laptop. There was indeed an email. You clicked on it.

There was a hotel room available. It wasn't too far distanced from your workplace, just two hours of travelling. The accommodations offered weren't too bad, too. There was reasonable breakfast, and even a gym.

Your cursor hovered of the "book" button.

"It's a deal then!"

"Oh? What do I get in return, then?"

"Mhm... maybe you can stay with me for a while?"

Your hand froze, just mere inches from accepting the room.

You stared at the screen, fingers twitching.

This had been just momentarily.

Staying here will only cause problems... won't it?

You lifted your finger to click.

Your hand wavered yet again.

If I do this, I won't have to see them again.

For some reason, your heart constricted at the thought.

With a sigh, you clicked.

Offer declined.

Guess I'm full of surprises, too.

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Masterlist Olive Branch

Masterlist

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If you want to be tagged for the next part, just comment :)

[sarifel-corrisafid-ilxhel]

Mean Rachel and Visser Three realize they have so much in common, get married, and elope to the Anati homeworld where it's legal for married couples to have an odd number of torsos. Marco then hits Nice Rachel in the head with a shovel, causing her to revert to Regular Rachel, because everyone growing up in the Nineties knows the cure for a traumatic brain injury is another traumatic brain injury. After that works, Tobias suggests they hit Taylor in the head with a shovel too, just in case.

what do you think wouldve happened if nice rachel and mean rachel didnt merge back and stayed as 2 separate members of the team until the end?

I can't figure a way out of this one without a total party kill, courtesy of Mean Rachel. Does anyone else have an idea for a way out?

[balrogballs]

i'm a writer irl (can't say who because my agent would rightfully put me into a blender and press the button if i go and out myself as "balrogballs") and honestly the funniest and most humiliating incident of my life was the time my finished manuscript triggered a plagiarism flag with the publisher for two lines of prose in my literary fiction novel...

.... which was word for word similar to a paragraph in a certain explicit work on FFN starring elrond and his batsman from the hobbit films, aka that one elf that looked like he ate panic attacks for breakfast (i forget his name but it's Figwit II) where the lord of imladris bends said twink over his writing desk and gives him the battering ram treatment.

and if you think i had to sit in front of one if the biggest publishing companies in the world and admit that it was, in fact, me who wrote the fic where the lord of imladris bends said twink over his writing desk and gives him the battering ram treatment in order to avoid being wrongly flagged for plagiarism, you would be absolutely correct.

(yes they published the book)

[cheeseanonioncrisps]

An adaptation of Sherlock Holmes set in a world in which the fictional character/literary juggernaut Sherlock Holmes, and all the subsequent adaptations thereof, still exist.

Sherlock Holmes (pronounced Holl-mess, as he is constantly reminding people) just had the misfortune of having parents who really liked the books, and his attitude towards his fictional counterpart is pretty much the same as that of Sir Arthur Conan Doyle.

Sherlock runs a Youtube Theory channel called Mysteries Unwrapped with Sherlock Holmes. He has received no less than seven cease and desist letters from the Conan Doyle estate, all of which he has so faded managed to rebuff by pointing out that that's literally his name.

(No he won't change his name. He's Sherlock Holmes the real live human person. Let Sherlock Holmes the non existent fictional character change his name.)

John is Sherlock's flatmate. Sherlock almost refused to live with him once he realised that it would mean staying with a medical student named John, and only gave in once John pointed out that: a) he's a biomedical student, which is completely different from an md, and b) his surname isn't Watson.

It's now been three years, which is long enough for them to have developed a genuine friendship, and for John to have a) started working towards his PhD in biotechnology, and b) for him to start dating somebody with the surname Watson.

Sherlock can feel the narrative closing in.

His Youtube channel is meant to be focused on lost media, fan theories and stuff like that, but he keeps accidentally stumbling upon and then solving genuine crimes.

His brother Mycroft may or may not have chosen that name after he transitions specifically to annoy him.

He doesn't even live in London, but somehow the only flat they could afford was on a street named fucking Baker Street.

Sherlock Holmes and the Unescapable Power of the Narrative.

[foerchen]

IN THE BATCAVE

Bruce: *sitting at Batcomputer minding his own business*

Jason: *getting ready for patrol*

Dick: *asks nicely*

Dick: Jay, could you hand me my escrimas?

Jason: *deadpans*

Jason: Go get them yourself, Dickface.

Tim: *walks in*

Tim: Jason, could you toss me my bo staff, please?

Jason: *no hesitation, tosses Tim his bo staff*

Dick: *shooketh*

Dick: Why do you help him and not me??? I'm your big bro, Little Wing!

Jason: Middle children have to stay together.

Dick: *confused af because Jay and Tim are his only brothers*

Tim: *curious*

Bruce: *frozen before turning around slowly*

Dick: Jason, you're the only middle child... right?

Jason: *laughs nervously*

Jason: Oh, would you look at that! Crime Alley is calling my name!

Jason: *runs*

---

SOMEWHERE IN NANDA PARBAT

Damian: *sneezes*

Damian: Somebody mentioned me.

---

LATER THAT EVENING

Talia: *on the phone with Bruce*

Talia: What! Me?! Hide a child of yours?!

Talia: *looks at Damian and a picture of Jason*

Talia: Never, Beloved.

[luumiinaa]

part two is even tastier!

Third Wheel: Part Two 

Mark isn’t sure what’s worse, the thirteen hour drive to the beach where he watched you get railed by his best friend in the backseat, or the five days he’s gonna be spending there knowing he is expected to watch—or join, whichever.

– read part one here! 

ao3 | m.list | minors dni! | kindly leave me some feedback, i will kiss your forehead so fucking fast if you do. 

WORDCOUNT―13.7k

PAIRING― haechan x afab reader x mark 

CONTENT― vacation setting, threesome, voyeurism, exhibitionism, jealousy (both haechan & mark), implications of a budding poly relationship, there’s a lot of dialogue to depict character development regarding the whole inviting mark thing. 

WARNINGS― haechan is a little touchy with mark, if you don’t like it, sounds like a you problem. 

NOTE― i reached 3k followers so here is ur present. the present was proofread by @domjaehyun​, we love her for putting up with my shit :D. this is not a stand alone fic, please read the first part if you havent! 

smut tags under cut:: 

Keep reading

[fanaticalthings]

Bruce Wayne except he texts like an ominous boomer

wdym you can't tell if he's threatening them?

Based on this post by @mysterycitrus :)

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Bonus:

Happy birthday, Tim 🥰

[everwalldigan]

Hear me out: Robin Dick would be the biggest Bruceman supporter and shipper.

This boy hates any of Bruce’s love interest with a passion because then his dad guardian spends less time with him and that’s obviously UNACCEPTABLE, SCANDALOUS even, so when rumours start circulating that Bruce Wayne is in a relationship with the Batman, he jumps right on the wagon.

Reporter, thirsty for a story: Mr Grayson what do you think about the rumours that Bruce Wayne is dating the Batman?

Dick: What do I think about my dads you mean? My very married very taken dads? My very faithful to each other plural dads?

He would fuel the rumours both as Robin and as Dick Grayson, punching criminals for talking bad about Wayne enterprises as Robin (“THAT’S MY STEPDADS COMPANY YOURE TALKING ABOUT!”). He would be on online forums all day talking about how Bruceman is the only Batman ship that makes sense and Doxxing people who disagree.

Bruce is so exasperated because this is happening at a time where only Alfred and Dick know his real identity so he can’t even do anything with ANYONE without making either Bruce Wayne or Batman look unfaithful.

Throw Reporter Clark Kent into the mix who has been sent to scope out the Bruceman story, who Bruce makes the mistake of flirting with at a gala. Both Clark AND dick are scandalised.

Dick, making a scene: HOW COULD YOU! BATMAN IS WAITING FOR YOU AT HOME AND YOURE HERE FLIRTING WITH SOME… SOME REPORTER??

Bruce, sighing: Dick-

Dick, tugging on Bruce’s suit and looking up at him with fake tears in his eyes: Dad, are you and dad getting a divorce? :(

Clark, panicking: NO NO THEYRE NOT GETTING A DIVORCE PLEASE DONT CRY

Meanwhile:

Bruce, crying in the corner: he called me dad

He would even go as far as insisting that Robin is his step sibling

Principal: how do you explain that whenever Robin is injured, Dick fails to show up at school the next day?

Dick: Robin and I are twins :) so when he’s injured I’m injured too and we have to stay home together!!

Bruce, whispering: I’m sorry, they’re not really twins but neither I or Bats have the heart to tell hem

[anyknotrants]

Dick: wait- does this mean that the og JL is just one big family at this point?

Bruce: ... what?

Dick: I mean- I married Wally, who's now leaglly Barry's and Hal's, which makes them your in-law. Jason married Roy, which makes Oliver your in-law, and the rest of you are dating a Super, I feel like that does make the JL a family business

Bruce: ...

Bruce: nO-