#crack post

[kyri45]

this is why I usually don't write any notes for my comics.

[sayangrafayel]

MC: If I died, how much would you miss me?

Rafayel: It’s cute that you think death can get you out of this relationship.

[olailamajnoon]

Bruce, to Jason: you'll never guess what just happened

Jason: you adopted a new Robin.

Bruce to Tim: guess what just happened

Tim: I got a new sibling already huh? Kinda nice, I figured it was time.

Bruce to Dick: Can you guess what happened?

Dick: ALREADY? Man you have a problem!

Bruce to Damian: can you conjecture what has taken place

Damian: you have acquired another batchild.

Bruce to Stephanie: ok. Can YOU guess what's just happened?

Stephanie: you're pregnant.

Bruce to Cassandra: Can you guess what I'm about to tell you?

Cassandra: Selina said yes.

Bruce, to the entire family: YES!!! ATLEAST ONE OF MY KIDS KNOWS ME!

Cassandra: no, I just got a text from her.

[rambyol]

The most impressive thing Silco did during his reign over Zaun was managing to sit cross legged on the hard wooden floor for an unknown amount of time playing with Ren, and somehow get up OFF said floor without letting out so much as a groan.

[thekingofspin]

[violent138]

Thinking of Bruce downing like a sizable amount of pain meds due to tolerance and abnormal levels of pain so he can still function and because he's normally so quiet and now he's buzzed quiet there's no outwardly apparent difference unless you're Alfred or one of his kids or Clark. And while Bruce's favourite thing to do in this state is attend WE board meetings, he occasionally has to head to the Watchtower.

Emergencies sober him up fast, but the second a need for coherency ends he lapses back to mellow. Nobody notices that he's been nodding continuously because Clark keeps subtly coughing or lightly kicking his chair.

Works perfectly until Clark kicks it out and Bruce goes down like a stringless puppet.

[amirmeavid]

I know the fandom generally agrees merlin and arthur would sort out the magic ban before getting married. But i got to say it would be objectively hilarious to watch King/Prince Consort of fucking Camelot, the OG magic hater, just prance around, lax as fuck because who the hell is brave enough to accuse the literal 2nd most important person in Albion of breaking the law? 🤣

Like just imagine all the dialogues that could come out of it:

Magic-Hating Noble: I watched the chair levitate!

Merlin: I was the only other person in the room at the time... :/

Arthur: Are you accusing your King Consort of sorcery? *royal angry face*

Magic-Hating Noble: No! No... sire.

Arthur: Are you... accusing yourself of sorcery?

Magic-Hating Noble: ...

*merlin in the background making no effort to hide the fact that he's literally reading a spell book*

Merlin: *Teleporting into a busy council meeting because he's late*

Everyone: *Stares*

Merlin:

Arthur:

Everyone:

Arthur: *clapping his hands* Anyway, lets get this meeting started!

Merlin: *coming back from very publicly creating a massive storm to defeat some magical attack* Weird weather we're having right guys?

One of Uther's Loyalists: *literal steam coming out of his ears but too traditional to contradict a royal*

Merlin: *swans off, spell book in hand*

Let me know if you want more!

PART 2:

https://www.tumblr.com/amirmeavid/763239515298103296/part-2-full-disclosure-i-was-not-expecting-people?source=share

[sweeneydino]

Only villains like punch chowder.

Reference photos ofc

If you’re curious and haven’t seen it, its Red flags by Tom Cardy, and the Artist is Gabriella Antali! Check out their work :3

The other is Invincible lol

[kens-ramblings]

i personally like to think instead of Tim putting on a siren or something when he gave warning for the whole blowing up LOA buildings and stuff he played Blow by Kesha and figured they’d get the hint (it worked surprisingly well). I just think it’s funnier if we let tim be extra cunty even when he’s literally having the worst time in his life :D

i also think it’d be hilarious if like a couple years down the road the batfam still has like no clue what tim did while he was on his bruce hunt. like whenever they ask he just gets a haunted look and says “you don’t wanna know” and calls it a day. but somehow(maybe ra’s sent it to them for some power play type thing???) they get footage of this specific instance. and all of them are looking at tim in varying amounts of horror(except jason, because i also like to think he’s the only one who sees through tim’s normal human mask and sees him as unhinged as he is) and tim has to be like “well shucks guys i needed a little bit of humor in my life at the time idk what to tell you”

[niko-sasaki-dbd]

Dead Boy Detectives Agency + Random Posts

[click for better resolution]

[1] [2] [3] [4] [5] [6] [7] [8]

[gleafer]

I played with some Twitter friends! Enjoy!

I draw what you ask, but not what you’re expecting!

[sayangrafayel]

Sylus: Are you ready to commit?

MC: Like a relationship, or a crime?

Sylus:

Sylus: Both.

[olailamajnoon]

Selina: Bruce how do you want to get married?

Bruce: you name it. It's not like I can't afford it

Selina: Well, I was thinking...Arctic wedding. Everyone gets to wear their winter suits. You know how smart the kids look in those

Bruce: I'd rather not freeze my balls off, if you don't mind. Especially since I'll be needing them later *winks*

Selina: well, what about an island wedding? We can enjoy some waves, walk on the shore, pick shells...

Bruce: I hate sand. It gets everywhere.

Selina: Okay, emo Anakin. You name a place then.

Bruce: no no, it's your choice. Completely.

Selina: ...okay, what about the moon? It doesn't have sand or ice, and you already have a spy station there.

Bruce: too inconvenient. For a man who likes Doctor Who so much, Alfred is surprisingly opposed to space flight. And he believes zeta beams disintegrate the soul.

Selina: what about the Manor? We can do it in the garden, with fairy lights under a starry night sky...classic.

Bruce: I grew up here, and I'm forced to look at those bloody stars every night. I'd rather do it somewhere away from it all.

Selina (with anger in her voice): where then, Bruce? Why don't you name it? Name the place.

Bruce, sighing: fine. I'd like to do it where we first met. In the tiger enclosure at Gotham Zoo, where you tied me up for the very first time.

Selina: ...

Selina: this is why you're not married yet.

[faramirsonofgondor]

I need a movie where Misha Collins plays a gay angel that falls in love with a bisexual cowboy played by Jensen Ackles. Their names are Cassius and Daniel, Cas and Dan. Jared Padalecki plays Daniel’s younger brother, Samson. It’s a blatant ripoff of SPN. The quality is extremely shitty and the budget was $40. Misha is wearing a pair of shitty $12 angel wings from Amazon and a cardboard halo. Jensen has a water gun instead of a real one. For some reason Samson is a mime, dressed in full mime ensemble, and breaks the fourth wall via miming his frustration about how Daniel and Cassius won’t get together. It has a laugh track and uses those “oohs” and “ahhs” and gasps that were in those early 2000s disney channel shows. Whenever Daniel shoots his gun you just hear Jensen making “pew pew pew pew” noises as red water squirts out.

[i-think-i-thunk]

*someone graffitis Eddie's van or something*

Steve: Get some coke, it'll come right off. That stuff can strip rust.

Eddie: *confused* Okay...

~later~

Eddie: *holding a baggie* Okay, I brought the coke. Still not sure how this is going to help though.

Steve:

Eddie: What?

Steve: I MEANT THE SODA

Eddie: Oh. Oops??

[k-n0-x]

Pov: The Hazbin residents playing Uno

Y/N: "Skip!" *Places down skip next person card*

Lucifer: "I swear, the next time you skip me, I am going to FUCK YOU"

Charlie, quite embarrased: "Again, it's 'fuck you up’, Dad"

Lucifer: "I know what I said"

Everyone else at the table: