#crack post

[sayangrafayel]

MC: I'm serious, you look good! Anybody would be lucky to have you. And you're such a good person, like-

Caleb: So date me.

MC: Huh?

Caleb: So date me.

MC: I mean, I'm not-

Caleb: You said I'm a good person, so date me.

MC: Well, yes.

Caleb: You said anybody would be lucky to have me.

MC: !!

Caleb: So be lucky. Date me.

MC:

[vickytokio]

Damn, I love all of those versions lol 10/10 would have them all

saw a post on bluesky that boiled down to saying the trans flag was ugly and some reply was like “it’s not even nice colors it’s fluorescent teal and hot pink” and like. i’m sorry but neither of those colors are present in the trans flag. are we looking at the same flag

[itsjustnk]

she was lazy she was crazy

[sweeneydino]

T-pods.

[olailamajnoon]

Dick, on the phone: *leans away* Clark says hi, guys.

Tim: Hi!

Jason: Hi.

Cassandra: Hi.

Stephanie: Hi.

Duke: Hi!

Damian: Hi.

Dick, on the phone: Clark they all say hi back.

Bruce to himself, so done: Truly a pinnacle of human communication. I say something they ignore me, but it's all 'hi' like synchronized idiots when it comes to Clark.

Clark, faintly audible: Bruce I heard that.

[violent138]

Thinking of Bruce downing like a sizable amount of pain meds due to tolerance and abnormal levels of pain so he can still function and because he's normally so quiet and now he's buzzed quiet there's no outwardly apparent difference unless you're Alfred or one of his kids or Clark. And while Bruce's favourite thing to do in this state is attend WE board meetings, he occasionally has to head to the Watchtower.

Emergencies sober him up fast, but the second a need for coherency ends he lapses back to mellow. Nobody notices that he's been nodding continuously because Clark keeps subtly coughing or lightly kicking his chair.

Works perfectly until Clark kicks it out and Bruce goes down like a stringless puppet.

[kens-ramblings]

i personally like to think instead of Tim putting on a siren or something when he gave warning for the whole blowing up LOA buildings and stuff he played Blow by Kesha and figured they’d get the hint (it worked surprisingly well). I just think it’s funnier if we let tim be extra cunty even when he’s literally having the worst time in his life :D

i also think it’d be hilarious if like a couple years down the road the batfam still has like no clue what tim did while he was on his bruce hunt. like whenever they ask he just gets a haunted look and says “you don’t wanna know” and calls it a day. but somehow(maybe ra’s sent it to them for some power play type thing???) they get footage of this specific instance. and all of them are looking at tim in varying amounts of horror(except jason, because i also like to think he’s the only one who sees through tim’s normal human mask and sees him as unhinged as he is) and tim has to be like “well shucks guys i needed a little bit of humor in my life at the time idk what to tell you”

[thekingofspin]

[xxmiserysmilesxx]

POV: Ur Lan Qiren grading assignments for the Gusu Quartet

“Lan Wanji, your essay is excellent, but I don’t remember “Wei Wuxian’s name surrounded by little hearts” being part of the rubric. Wei Wuxian, this would be a great essay, if I assigned you an essay about the different rabbit species in Gusu, and not about the intersection of ethical theory and abstinence within Cultivation history. Nie Huaisang, your excuse for an intro paragraph is clearly word for word copied from Jiang Wanyin, and the rest are just drawings of birds. Jiang Wanyin, stop letting Nie Huaisang copy off you. And Jin Zixuan… I cannot read your handwriting.”

[sayangrafayel]

Crow family Pt. MC is competitive

Luke: We should have a family game night!

Kieran: Yes I agree!

MC: No, no. I.. don't want that. I get very competitive during game nights back in college and I just don't want another trip to the ER. I care about all of you.

Sylus: Sweetie, that was a long time ago. You're probably not as good as you were back then-

MC, grabbing Sylus' collar: What did you just say to me? I will cut you, bitch! Try me. I dare you.

Luke and Kieran: Whoa-

MC: I'm sorry!!

Sylus: Oh, we're definitely doing game nights starting from now.

[amirmeavid]

I know the fandom generally agrees merlin and arthur would sort out the magic ban before getting married. But i got to say it would be objectively hilarious to watch King/Prince Consort of fucking Camelot, the OG magic hater, just prance around, lax as fuck because who the hell is brave enough to accuse the literal 2nd most important person in Albion of breaking the law? 🤣

Like just imagine all the dialogues that could come out of it:

Magic-Hating Noble: I watched the chair levitate!

Merlin: I was the only other person in the room at the time... :/

Arthur: Are you accusing your King Consort of sorcery? *royal angry face*

Magic-Hating Noble: No! No... sire.

Arthur: Are you... accusing yourself of sorcery?

Magic-Hating Noble: ...

*merlin in the background making no effort to hide the fact that he's literally reading a spell book*

Merlin: *Teleporting into a busy council meeting because he's late*

Everyone: *Stares*

Merlin:

Arthur:

Everyone:

Arthur: *clapping his hands* Anyway, lets get this meeting started!

Merlin: *coming back from very publicly creating a massive storm to defeat some magical attack* Weird weather we're having right guys?

One of Uther's Loyalists: *literal steam coming out of his ears but too traditional to contradict a royal*

Merlin: *swans off, spell book in hand*

Let me know if you want more!

PART 2:

https://www.tumblr.com/amirmeavid/763239515298103296/part-2-full-disclosure-i-was-not-expecting-people?source=share

[niko-sasaki-dbd]

Dead Boy Detectives Agency + Random Posts.

[click for better resolution]

[1] [2] [3] [4] [5] [6] [7] [8]

[chuunardo]

The twinkification of Jax

Did anyone think of this yet or was it just me lmao

[sweeneydino]

A poetic writer, scholar, genius, scientist, and evil ruler.

Can you tell that I fucking love that 2012 shredder pic?

Strangely this took 2hours. Usually im quicker than that. Im very tired—

[olailamajnoon]

Bruce, after nose surgery: Anyone makes a single comment, I will fry you.

Dick: *giggles, trying to contain himself*

Jason: *unable and unwilling to resist his urges* So you finally got a nose job.

Tim: Congrats, you're finally a Kardashian.

Damian: What is that? A kind of otter?

Jason: yes.

Stephanie: Many women find a broken nose attractive!

Bruce: I'm not talking to you, Stephanie. *gives her a cold mackerel look*

Stephanie: If this is about the Wonder Woman thing...

Bruce to the rest of his kids, pointedly ignoring Steph: If anyone asks, Bruce Wayne is damnably vain and insecure about his looks.

Cassandra: Your body language suggests you're telling the truth.

Everyone: ...

Bruce: The best lies have a hint of truth.

Cassandra: But...it was none of it a lie. I can read you, remember?

Jason and Dick: *trying to stifle their laughter*

Bruce:...fine, I hated the shape of my nose after it was broken for the seventy-seventh time. Sue me.

Jason: You could stand to tuck your chin in a little.

Dick: You're getting a receding hairline.

Tim: Your crow's feet have crow's feet.

Cassandra: I googled DILF and got you.

The Batkids: ...

Damian: Father, being your biological and genetic son I think I need to start saving for cosmetic surgery.

Bruce: ...

Bruce: I hate all of you.

[gleafer]

I played with some Twitter friends! Enjoy!

I draw what you ask, but not what you’re expecting!