#crack post

[sayangrafayel]

Caleb: If you sneeze and I say bless you,

Caleb: The only thing you should say is thank you,

Caleb: I don't need to hear this how did you get into my house, how did you bypass my security, I thought I checked for hidden cameras all over my house shit.

Caleb: We don't got time for that.

[goddessesofeverything]

Love and Deepspace Totally Incorrect Quote

How would the L&DS men react to you saying “there’s an absolutely gorgeous man right in front of me with his tits out and I’m not allowed to touch them” while he’s shirtless. You’re absolutely shameless.

This is 100% a crack incorrect quote. Do not take this seriously in the slightest. More than likely OOC. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ I literally wrote this off the cuff without editing.

Zayne

Zayne: Ridiculous.

MC: So no?

Zayne: Only if I get you for dessert first.

MC: 😄

Xavier

Xavier: What do you mean?

MC: I want to hold your tits.

Xavier: But I don’t have any.

MC: Please just let me hold your chest.

Xavier: *lays back down on the bed* All yours.

Rafayel

Rafayel: *already has your hands on his chest before you can even finish* Why didn’t you say so sooner, cutie?

MC: And miss out on all the other goodies on display. I wanna bite that cake too.

Rafayel: Whatever you want.

Sylus

Sylus: *already lies back down on the bed* Have your fun then.

MC: You really mean it?

Sylus: Go ahead. Have fun.

Caleb

Caleb: Don’t mess with me, pipsqueak. *already has his hands ready to grab yours the moment you indicate you really do want to touch them*

MC: Gimme.

Caleb: *has you in his lap and fondling him in the blink of an eye*

[lesbianreginageorgeisreal]

[gihun-the-troubled-twink]

I find great enjoyment in thinking of an AU where Daeho, Junhee, and Junho convince Gihun and Inho to try playing Among Us with them but they dont tell them how to play or explain what the game is about because they wanna see what they’ll do.

Gihun rages and outs himself as the imposter immediately by saying something dumb like “WELL I VENTED OR WHATEVER BUT I STILL DIDNT GET TO THE TASK BEFORE YOUR DUMBASSES CALLED A VOTE, WHY ARE YOU VOTING ME OFF??” And once everyone votes him off he just sighs in disappointment.

Inho looks sus as fuck the entire game because he follows Junho and Gihun’s characters around and doesnt do his tasks because he can’t figure out the puzzles, and the controls are too confusing. And then when he’s confronted about it over voice chat he also rages. “I CONNECTED THE WIRE TO THE GODDAMN OTHER WIRE AND I STILL COULDNT DO IT WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU MEAN IM IMPOSTER?????”

Meanwhile Daeho, Junhee, and Junho are cackling, growing an 8 pack as they eventually take the time to explain the game to Gihun and Inho so that they can play better the next few rounds.

[vickytokio]

Well... Stuff can be two things lol

saw a woman comforting her sobbing child saying “i already told you, you have to keep looking forward, looking back just gets you hurt” and i thought she was sharing a beautiful life lesson about the importance of letting go of regret and resentment. but it turns out the kid just wasn’t looking where he was going and ran into a wall

[anotherhumanpet]

"The fact that I canonically keep getting adopted - either by older siblings, stray dads or grandparents, or aunts/uncles - means nothing. I am an independent teenager who doesn't need anybody. Except when I need a ride or a shoulder to cry on."

[olailamajnoon]

Dick, on the phone: *leans away* Clark says hi, guys.

Tim: Hi!

Jason: Hi.

Cassandra: Hi.

Stephanie: Hi.

Duke: Hi!

Damian: Hi.

Dick, on the phone: Clark they all say hi back.

Bruce to himself, so done: Truly a pinnacle of human communication. I say something they ignore me, but it's all 'hi' like synchronized idiots when it comes to Clark.

Clark, faintly audible: Bruce I heard that.

[sweeneydino]

A poetic writer, scholar, genius, scientist, and evil ruler.

Can you tell that I fucking love that 2012 shredder pic?

Strangely this took 2hours. Usually im quicker than that. Im very tired—

[violent138]

Thinking of Bruce downing like a sizable amount of pain meds due to tolerance and abnormal levels of pain so he can still function and because he's normally so quiet and now he's buzzed quiet there's no outwardly apparent difference unless you're Alfred or one of his kids or Clark. And while Bruce's favourite thing to do in this state is attend WE board meetings, he occasionally has to head to the Watchtower.

Emergencies sober him up fast, but the second a need for coherency ends he lapses back to mellow. Nobody notices that he's been nodding continuously because Clark keeps subtly coughing or lightly kicking his chair.

Works perfectly until Clark kicks it out and Bruce goes down like a stringless puppet.

[sayangrafayel]

MC, recording herself: My boyfriend Caleb is crazy, y'all. We're fighting and I had him blocked on EVERYTHING yet he still manages to find ways to contact me!

MC's microwave starts beeping

MC: See this is what I'm talking about. LOOK, HE'S CALLING ME ON MY MICROWAVE. HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE? I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW MICROWAVES CAN DO THAT.

MC: How is he doing that!? That's kinda impressive, not gonna lie...

Not long after MC made the video there's a pigeon stopping by her window carrying a "Forgiveness For Caleb" coupon. Bet.

[kens-ramblings]

i personally like to think instead of Tim putting on a siren or something when he gave warning for the whole blowing up LOA buildings and stuff he played Blow by Kesha and figured they’d get the hint (it worked surprisingly well). I just think it’s funnier if we let tim be extra cunty even when he’s literally having the worst time in his life :D

i also think it’d be hilarious if like a couple years down the road the batfam still has like no clue what tim did while he was on his bruce hunt. like whenever they ask he just gets a haunted look and says “you don’t wanna know” and calls it a day. but somehow(maybe ra’s sent it to them for some power play type thing???) they get footage of this specific instance. and all of them are looking at tim in varying amounts of horror(except jason, because i also like to think he’s the only one who sees through tim’s normal human mask and sees him as unhinged as he is) and tim has to be like “well shucks guys i needed a little bit of humor in my life at the time idk what to tell you”

[thekingofspin]

[amirmeavid]

I know the fandom generally agrees merlin and arthur would sort out the magic ban before getting married. But i got to say it would be objectively hilarious to watch King/Prince Consort of fucking Camelot, the OG magic hater, just prance around, lax as fuck because who the hell is brave enough to accuse the literal 2nd most important person in Albion of breaking the law? 🤣

Like just imagine all the dialogues that could come out of it:

Magic-Hating Noble: I watched the chair levitate!

Merlin: I was the only other person in the room at the time... :/

Arthur: Are you accusing your King Consort of sorcery? *royal angry face*

Magic-Hating Noble: No! No... sire.

Arthur: Are you... accusing yourself of sorcery?

Magic-Hating Noble: ...

*merlin in the background making no effort to hide the fact that he's literally reading a spell book*

Merlin: *Teleporting into a busy council meeting because he's late*

Everyone: *Stares*

Merlin:

Arthur:

Everyone:

Arthur: *clapping his hands* Anyway, lets get this meeting started!

Merlin: *coming back from very publicly creating a massive storm to defeat some magical attack* Weird weather we're having right guys?

One of Uther's Loyalists: *literal steam coming out of his ears but too traditional to contradict a royal*

Merlin: *swans off, spell book in hand*

Let me know if you want more!

PART 2:

https://www.tumblr.com/amirmeavid/763239515298103296/part-2-full-disclosure-i-was-not-expecting-people?source=share

[chuunardo]

The twinkification of Jax

Did anyone think of this yet or was it just me lmao

[niko-sasaki-dbd]

Dead Boy Detectives Agency + Random Posts

[click for better resolution]

[1] [2] [3] [4] [5] [6] [7] [8]

[gleafer]

I played with some Twitter friends! Enjoy!

I draw what you ask, but not what you’re expecting!