#Duke thomas

[abcdfghjklmpqrobin]

The bats don't realize they got pretty privilege.

Like sure, they know they're attractive because duh, they're basically celebrities, their looks is all people talk about. But the small stuff? The opened doors, the free gifts, the extra smiles and good attitude? That, they're completely clueless to.

It doesn't help that it happens to all of them and most their friends, so nobody notices it's out of the ordinary.

Clark goes "The lady at the cafeteria gifted me this cake" and Bruce is like "Oh yeah, she does that"... She doesn't.

Kory gets offered to cut in line to the front at a concert and tells Dick "People here are so nice!", and instead of noticing the favoritism, Dick holds out three STAFF passes and goes "I know right! Look that lady over there is going to take us backstage!", and they laugh while Wally's eye twiches.

Tim goes undercover wearing cheap loose clothes, contacts and a fake nose, and people are just so mean to him, like no manners at all. They bump into him, ignore him, he says 'Good morning' to an old lady, and she doesn't even say it back! ... He comes back ranting about rude people and what not. And Jason is like "Really? But they're so nice in that neighborhood, that old lady is always giving me candy!". Barbara doesn't know how to tell them the nose simply made Tim look average for once.

Damian. Hits. It. Off. At the pediatric unit of the hospital he's volunteering at. Kids love him, and he thinks it's because Jon was right about the 'Always greet them with a smile' thing, but in reality it's because half the kids got a puppy-love crush on him. Jon, just as oblivious is like "Told you sooo".

Stephanie thinks it's the good karma. She gets a whole ass perfume bottle for free at the mall and is like "See Cass? It's that robbery we stopped last week, the universe is giving it back". Cass, with a perfume of her own, knows better but nods anyway.

Duke thinks they're all dumb and unaware, and he's making fun of them when Alfred goes "And I suppose you think Miss Carrington has saved you a seat at the bus for the last three weeks just because". Duke doesn't say anything after that.

[overcooked444]

Duke and Jason have been banned from being anywhere near each other in costume because the arguments they will break out into is both too intense and too distracting for patrol. Everyone thinks they're serious but after the first 10-20 times they do it for the love of the game.

Duke: Shut the fuck up.

Jason: You shut the fuck up.

Duke: Zombie

Jason: Flashlight

Duke: That's why the joker still alive

Jason: That's why the joker did what he did to ya mom.

Duke: Nigga where ya mom at? Dea—

Bruce over the comms who, along with the entire bat family has been listening to entire thing: Signal, Red Hood! SPERATE! NOW!

They are now giggling as dick and cass drag them apart.

[incorrectbatfam]

The bats have so many burner phones and travel SIMs that they're always getting each other's numbers wrong

Barbara: I called you but you didn't pick up.

Tim: That's my office phone.

—

Cass: Did you bring my ballet flats?

Bruce: No. Was I supposed to?

Cass: I texted you.

Bruce: That must be the phone Croc threw into the harbor.

—

*phone rings*

Alfred: No cell phones at the dinner table.

Dick: Sorry.

Dick: *turns it off*

*second phone rings*

*third phone rings*

Dick: I'm just gonna take these upstairs.

—

Damian: I demand to know why you changed your number without notifying me.

Jason: What do you mean? No I didn't.

Damian: Yes you did. None of my messages are delivering.

Damian: *shows him his phone*

Jason: That's my Yugoslavian number.

Damian: That country doesn't even exist.

Jason: It did in my day.

—

Duke: How do I get a burner phone?

Steph: You feel it with your heart.

[rubiowl]

First post ever..be nice to me :')

Ft my faves of the bat sibling🦇🦇🦇

[yintous]

꒰ 🍯 ꒱ ─── 𝓢WEETER THAN HONEY! ㆍ₊⊹

gn! reader ; embarrassing things the batboys did when they had a crush on you.

notes. might be a little ooc since i got carried away and this is satire 🙏 [masterlist]

DICK GRAYSON

changes his pfps to whatever you called cute

for example, you called an orange cat cute, his profile picture in every account you have him added on is a picture of an orange cat. they’re all different pictures of orange cats, too

depending on his mood, he might even post something about orange cats 😭😭😭

he MIGHT say the “without me?” phrase once in awhile whenever you say you have to go somewhere or whenever you have to run an errand…

once tried to be nonchalant and mysterious so he could get your attention but he crumbled the moment you smiled at him; he didn’t bother hiding it either!! he FOLDED as quick as light

posted a thirst trap with your favorite song and deleted it when you haven’t viewed the post in five seconds

JASON TODD

screenshotted your text and sent it to YOU instead of roy in a panic

tried to gaslight himself into thinking that he didn’t have a crush on you when it was blatantly obvious to EVERYONE

tried teasing you once by taking your phone and saying “you’re too short” and he immediately failed because you managed to retrieve your phone in seconds

one time, you turned around to look at him and he was already staring at you with a thousand-yard stare (he was zoned out)

he takes an hour or two to reply whenever you send a risky text not because he wants to leave you on read, but because he genuinely doesn’t know how to reply

TIM DRAKE

somehow found your spotify playlist and started bragging about listening to your favorite artists to EVERYONE so said people could spread that he had a similar music taste to you 💔

but if you actually ask him about the artists, he’d lowkey just freeze and say “yeah..” while nodding with a small smile on his face

probably stalked your social media following and who was following your account, analyzed every single account and has been praying to whatever entity that was listening to him that you wouldn’t end up with any of the people you were following/or the people that were following you

left you on read for a good five hours because he accidentally fell asleep while texting you and it felt like hell was waiting for him the moment the realization kicked in

DUKE THOMAS

learned a whole new language for you when he wasn’t even sure you spoke it in the first place (thankfully, you did)

he also learned almost ALL of your interests such as the shows you match, the genre of movies you like, the music you listen to, etc. just so you could talk about it together

started manifesting every night while he thought about what the two of you would be like as a couple

it turned into a habit that he couldn’t get rid of no matter what and he can’t sleep without doing it

bought a bunch of puzzle boxes so you could solve it together (after three months, half of them still aren’t finished)

wrote poetry about you in the woods and felt like shakespeare

© yintous do not copy, repost, plagiarize, or feed any of my work into ai.

[eira-auer]

my brother in christ you are not usually in this part of town this early

who died ???

[pinkiemachine]

BatFam Shenanigans — The Quest — Part 6

Previous part 👇

[blu3fiish]

more of those stupid reaction memes. But its duke thomas.

Orig under cut<3

[creek-on-mars]

canon accurate duke thomas!!!

I'm actually so convinced out of all of the Batfam Duke would fuck with the press the most. He pulls up to a gala with a diamond brooch on his tie and manipulates the light so it literally shines like a beacon and tells any reporter its his "undiscovered eldritch bling" OR fucks with the bat symbol as a way to communicate.

Dick: I'm going to the store! text me if you need anything! Duke: yeah yeah *five minutes later* Dick texting: Yknow when i said TEXT me i meant by PHONE not projecting 'ORANGE JUICE DICK' with the bat signal all over gotham.

i just think he'd be the fuckery king. He gets pissed at bruce and changes the bat signal to 'Baman sucks ASS' for like a week. no one can fix it.

[thesecretdcblog]

The Batkids doing that "Suspect" tiktok trend where they take turns filming each other running and say increasingly personal and deranged shit to make each other laugh.

Spoiler, recording Red Robin: *in a confused voice* Suspect listens to Green Day and Enya, like my guy pick a struggle

Nightwing, recording Red Hood: Suspect died once and made it his entire personality

Red Hood, recording Robin: Suspect has a superiority complex that is way too big for someone his size

Robin, recording Nightwing: Suspect has been engaged at least twice and married never

Red Robin, recording Spoiler: Suspect thinks assaulting people with bricks is a legitimate flirting strategy (Spoiler: It worked on you!)

Signal, who came out at night solely for this, recording Red Robin: Suspect can't come up with an original name and keeps stealing everyone else's

Red Hood, recording Nightwing: Suspect is actually a huge asshole but hides it behind that cheerful demeanor so everyone thinks I'm lying about it

Robin, recording Red Hood: I'm going to let the Suspect keep running because he needs the exercise

Signal, recording Red Hood: Suspect acts tough but has read every Jane Austen novel at least six times

[incorrectbatfam]

Duke: I need advice.

Stephanie, eating cookie dough for breakfast: You came to the right person.

[sh0dor1]

I’m not a total dc fan, but I am a Duke Thomas fan

SO GIVE HIM MORE ATTENTION PLEASEEE I NEED MORE CONTENT ABOUT HIM

[runningoncoffeandspite]

Jason: HA! Take that Dickface.

Jason comes back with the first aid kit and sees Tim taking a selfie

Jason:

Tim:

Tim: Its for Steph, Cass and Duke.

Jason:

Jason: Send it to me too.

Headcannon that Jason got the headstone from his grave and put it above his bed because it says 'Here lies Jason Todd' (he broke off the good soldier bit ofc) and thinks it's the funniest thing ever, some of the family, of course, are horrified.

Dick, at Jason's before they go out on patrol: Hey Jaybird, make sure to bring a spare respir--WHAT THE HELL?!?

Dick, looking frantically between Jason and the headstone: this is clearly a threat. Somebody knows your identity. I swear to GOD when I find who did this--

Jason, looking up from his phone comepletely unbothered: oh yeah, about that

--------

Bonus:

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Tim, climbing through Jasons bedroom window: Hey, its me, dont shoot. Do you have a first aid kit here right?

Jason, getting up from where he was reading in bed: ugh yeah sure, one sec

Jason, proceeds to grab a sticky note saying 'DOES NOT' and jabs it onto the headstone so it reads 'Here DOES NOT lie Jason Todd':

Tim:

Tim: okay that's funny

[dcmainlybillythoughts]

I've had this idea rotating in my head for a while about a specific scenario in a universe where nobody is ever clued in on the fact that the bats are related. They just assume that Robin, Red Robin, Red Hood, Nightwing, and everybody else just coincidentally happens to be Gotham (+Bludhaven) based like Batman is.

Do me a favor and imagine the aftermath of some stage five hall hands on deck crisis where everyone and their team has to gather for debriefing and for medical care. Everybody shows up with their respective teams, Nightwing with his Titans, Red Robin with the old members of YJ, Red Hood with the Outlaws, Batman with the JL ect ect.

Everyone is super tired from the battle and none of them are even given a moment to breathe before Red Hood and Red Robin start beefing on sight. Before anybody can even think to intervene, Nightwing, Orphan, Spoiler, Robin, and Signal join in and they all just start bickering at one another.

Everybody thinks they're about to fight. Like seriously start hashing it out. Thing is, YJ are RR's ride or dies. If RR starts fighting Nightwing then the YJ are gonna fight Nightwing. And then the titans are gonna fight the YJ because those are Nightwing's ride or dies. Same goes for all the teams and their respective leaders.

Everyone looks across the room going, "Am I gonna have to fight you? Man, I don't wanna fight you." They could not wanna fight because of the prior battle, out of respect for their potential opponents, or because they know that opponent would whoop their ass. But they'll still do it because that's their leader.

Eventually all of them stop their bickering, suspending the room in tense silence, as they stare each other down. Everybody is bracing themselves for the first punch and the JL is preparing to break up the fight, but instead the silence is broken by all of the birds turning their heads in one direction and yelling, "Daaaaaaddd!"

The room is dead silent enough that everyone can hear Batman's exhausted sigh echo through the room before it's followed by, "You're all grounded."

[superbat-lmao]

Each of the batkids having their own video series on the Wayne youtube channel. They’re all just different Jenna Marbles videos.

Damian’s playlist are videos of him acquiring new pets, such as a hamster. Each one starts with him approaching a different sibling and getting a new pet with them. He also makes videos trying to teach his animals to swim or “is my dog smarter than a hamster” but it’s “is my dog smarter than my brother” that kinda thing.

Tim makes a series where he criticizes 5 minute crafts. He makes the demon soap hand and jeans chair. He’s upset the whole time and Dick keeps laughing from the background.

Jason and Dick make their version of Aries Kitchen, where Dick keeps trying to make crazy things and Jason keeps everything on track. Eventually it turns into Jason having a cooking playlist without Dick where he takes the videos seriously, even though all the siblings are the taste testers at the end. He also does episodes with Damian making dog treats and pupsicles.

Steph and Cass do the “me-time” videos like a bald cap covered in eyelashes or making their head a disco ball. They camouflage themselves, make jumpers together, which mascaras are the best to cry in, and acid wash their clothes.

Dick guest stars in a lot of videos. He also does those “my brother teaches me X” where he teaches the siblings gymnastics/trapeze. He’s also down for challenges, dress up videos, having acrylics toenails, or anything else the kids put him up to.

Duke does videos like “reading comments about my dogs” or watching meme compilations about the channel. Prank videos are right up his alley. He is also down whenever Damian decides to do an art video, like Bob Ross tutorials or acrylic pours.

Everytime Bruce almost appears or accidentally walks in, there’s a super obvious jump cut that edits him out. It’s always comedic, but the kids don’t want him involved in this unless he’s their fashion show audience. He’s not allowed to talk and be his public persona because none of the kids want to be subjected to that. It’s one thing at a gala, it’s another in their home. Especially if they’re all doing their own personas, they can’t handle the playboy one on top of all of that.

Alfred joins in occasionally with a patient long suffering look on his face. He lets the kids give him acrylic nails, he joins Jason in the kitchen, and he occasionally helps Duke plan his pranks in ways that save his carpets.

He does forbid that soap hand from remaining in his kitchen.