#DISABLED

[incorrectbatfam]

One thing I rarely see in injury and chronic pain fics is the grief that comes with missing out on stuff you love because you can no longer do them without hurting yourself. Writers who have been disabled their whole lives (or at least a long time) tend to forget that not all disabled people are used to being disabled. For able-bodied characters, especially athletic ones like vigilantes, a serious injury could mean a jarring change that includes giving up the things that mean the most to them.

I was physically fine until I was 18. Back then, my sense of self was entwined with interests that required a lot of movement and dexterity. I started doing MMA in middle school for self-defense. I loved parkour and even had a few hundred subscribers on my old YouTube channel. I learned to shoot and was gifted my first gun when I was 16. I took up multiple instruments. You get the idea.

My motorcycle accident fucked up the joints on my left side—my knee and shoulder especially, but also wrist to an extent. When it first happened, I thought I'd be on crutches for a bit but things would eventually get back to normal. The pain didn't go away even after I got rid of the crutches but I figured it was just residual and I should do what I'd been doing before. It's why I turned to substances—to block the pain and do what I love, but that's another topic. I didn't recognize my injury as a disabling thing until the end of the pandemic, when I put my parkour channel on an indefinite hiatus because it was seriously wearing my body down. It might sound silly to you but I was devastated. It's like if Spider-Man wasn't allowed to swing from buildings. It took me a long time to make peace with losing that part of me.

Another piece of that grief is even when you can do stuff, it's not the same because you have to exclude certain aspects of it for your own health. It's like the Robin that died and came back wrong. I can't use certain gym equipment and I have to tell my sparring partners what to avoid. I don't go to the shooting range much now because I can't extend my arm and hold a rifle for the amount of time it takes to aim without it starting to hurt. I'm a drummer, but I need breaks throughout the setlist and I can't do anything too fast or complex with the pedals, which means I can't play some of my favorite songs and my band is limited in what we write and perform. I can't take my motorcycle on road trips without frequent rest stops. Making accommodations helps physically, but emotionally, they're not always easy to accept because that means accepting the pain as a long-term disability rather than a temporary setback.

This got super long because I think it's unexplored in fics so some tips for creators:

First, learn how the body works and how stupidly fast and easy it is to get hurt. Mine was on a residential road because I didn't pay attention for 0.2 seconds

Learn the difference between internalized ableism and being upset over becoming disabled. I think a lot of writers skip over the feelings someone would naturally experience because it can be construed as ableism. Let them be in denial, sad, angry, etc. upon finding out because acceptance almost never happens right away. That's different from being a dick to themselves or others based on disability

Also, not everyone uses the same labels or has the same vocabulary to describe themselves. Different characters will have different ways of describing depending on their personality, level of knowledge, where they come from, and their relationship with their disability. I still don't really call myself disabled since I don't have it as bad as others so I tell people what happened instead (anyone who says "differently abled" will receive a different ability from me in the Denny's parking lot)

Think about how they cope with their new disability. Do they realize it's a disability right away? Do they talk to someone? Search desperately for a cure? Numb the pain? Turn to alternative methods? Do they worry about something else first, like money? Do they develop something else because of it, like a mental illness? Again, coping poorly is not ableism

What stays the same and what changes? I think about the difference between Forrest Gump and Lieutenant Dan after they were both wounded in battle

If they have a passion they can no longer pursue, it doesn't make much sense for them drop it so readily. Maybe they find a way to continue with accommodations (a good place to get creative!). Maybe they try and push through anyway. If they do ultimately resign, include the thought process and internal conflict behind it

[timeladyelpia]

This works for other neurodivergence’s as well! Also if you hate the taste of greens, try eating different kinds of fruits with every meal, even if it’s canned! Your stomach and intestinal tract will thank you!

this is your gentle reminder to stop fighting against your adhd and instead structure your life around it

buy a pack of chapsticks and put one in the pocket of all of your coats and jackets because you always forget to bring one and chapped lips is sensory hell

leave important things where you can see them. if they go in a box or a drawer you will forget they exist

put any appointments or deadlines in your phone calendar As Soon As you get them. set a reminder for a week before, a day before, an hour before, as many as you need as often as you need them.

when that little voice in your head says "i dont need to write that down, ill remember it" that is the devil talking!!! write it down anyway!!

plan for down time. have a few hours at the end of every day to just do fun stuff like engage in your hyperfixations. even if you didnt get all of your work done that day, have the rest anyway. you probably spent the whole day beating yourself up for not doing what you Should be doing, so you still need the break.

if you never eat vegetables because its too much effort to chop and cook them, get the frozen or canned shit. it doesnt go off for ages and you just have to microwave it. theres no point buying fresh vegetables if they just keep going off and being left to rot in the bottom of your fridge

if you struggle to decide what to have for dinner every day, take the decision out of it. choose a set of meals and eat those on rotation until you get sick of them, then choose some new ones and do it again.

its not stupid if it works! our brains literally have a chemical deficiency. you are allowed to accommodate yourself. go forth and stop making your life more difficult than it has to be because "this shouldn't be this hard". it is hard, so make it easier.

[crippledcryptidd]

Not sure if anyone who needs to hear this will see this but

You are not some kind of hero to disabled people for “weeding out fakers” (fakeclaiming)

You cannot tell someone is faking from their post all you are doing is spreading false information and probably harassing actually disabled people because again you cannot tell

[camoftarakas]

ACTUALLY was really wanting to look this up recently LMAO

I love adding "Reddit" to the end of all my google searches I will never stop.

[cyberfestivaldonkeycash]

Can’t access reproductiverights.gov because it’s gone, can’t access the literal constitution on the official White House page because it’s gone, can’t access documents translated to Spanish because they’re gone, and so much more. They did all of this on day one, everyone who voted for him saying none of this would happen can go fuck themselves. They’re coming for reproductive rights and medicine. I have a “reproductive” disease that has fucked up my fertility and when I choose to get pregnant I will very likely need an abortion because it won’t be a viable pregnancy. This administration will get me and so many other women/pregnant people killed. Then they will come for us in the LGBTQ+ community, then the disabled, and anyone that isn’t a white cisgender man. This is just the start and the next four years will be our fight. The resistance start NOW!!!

[mushroom-music]

I so hate when I’m masking my pain or just can’t explain the pain so I don’t say anything and then I have to take care of myself (ie. take a nap, refrain from too much activity, be in a quiet setting, take pain meds) and someone goes “well ya didn’t say anything abt ur pain!! that means ur fine :)” like NO it DOES NOT i am just DEEPLY AFRAID OF BEING A BURDEN so I shut up abt my suffering and just do what I need to do. Damn dude leave me alone.

[zylahbee]

being a disabled environmentalist is hard.

i care so much and i wish i could aim for things like zero waste. but i just cant, doing something like that would be ignoring my health needs.

its quite isolating, because i try to find tips and environmental swaps but often they just arent possible for me to use/do and then i feel guilty for that.

even though i know its not my fault and i cant help it, it just triggers my inner ableism and i blame myself for being this way.

[wishful-seeker]

As someone who's disability forcibly took all my hobbies away for many years:

Literally the only thing that matters is being happy and making it to the next day. Being happy is a part of surviving. You need to ask yourself "if this was the last day i could walk, or write, or use my arms and legs at all, what would i do?" As someone who took my hobbies that created my identity for granted, when that stuff is taken from you, and i mean ALL of it, you realize happiness is more important than anything when you can't have it. No job, no amount of money, no glory or fame could ever make me hurt my body in any way ever again. I refuse. Having a good life, being with the people i love, finding joy, it is the only thing that matters.

I promised myself that i would start living in a way that when i thought the question "if i died today would i be proud of what I've done and how i lived?" My answer would be yes. And it is. Do that for yourself, please.

maybe the purpose of life is to fill it with as many positive things as you can. regardless of how bad life gets, don’t let it steal your personality, your hobbies, your style. after coming home from a bad day at work maybe you need to sit down and read a nice book. after studying non-stop for so long, maybe you should finish that crochet project you’ve been putting off because you’re so busy. maybe we should prioritize the things we love, the things that make us happy, and not just the things we’re forced to do to survive. in this society, a little peace from the outside world is important. don’t give up on the things that make you happy. don’t forget about yourself.

[anxious-and-in-pain]

question/request for advice:

whenever i’m on public transportation, i sit if i can. i have chronic pain and often become unsafe if it gets too intense before i find my way home again. my anxiety likes to overthink about how i appear young and healthy and how i can’t know whether or not the people around me need the seat more than i do.

there was one time where i was in one of the three accessible seats on transit that was so full that many people were standing. someone got on and complained about being tired before asking if they could have a seat. i think they had a mobility aid but even if they didn’t, they were obviously struggling and were much older than i was. the others in the accessible seating completely ignored this person so i gave up my seat and spent the rest of the trip trying not to cry from pain and hoping that i could safely walk the 18 minutes home in the dark. i couldn’t just ignore that person though.

i’d love anyone’s ideas or responses. mobility aids don’t work with my arm pain so there’s nothing obvious about me needing a seat. maybe i could get a pin that says “invisible disability” or i could practice a script on saying that i need a seat or asking others to give up theirs? ugh, i’d feel like an asshole though because of my anxiety (fuck anxiety). does anyone have experience around this? feel free to add advice or personal anecdotes!

[wishful-seeker]

I would like to see more people talk about how jobs treat disabled employees.

I used to prep, wash dishes, and cook at mellow mushroom. I had chronic pain that wasn't NEARLY as bad as it is today, but it was still very debilitating. I told my employer "i cannot stand more than 4 to 6 hours. I CANNOT do shifts longer than this due to my illness." And even though i made my boundaries VERY clear, everyday i worked it was 8 hours at the least and 10 or 12 at the most. I would go up to my manager and say "look i really need to leave, my shift is over, my chronic pain is killing me." And he'd say "we really need to here, you HAVE to push through." And so i did, and after one, ONE month of that job my crps got incredibly worse to the point where i could no longer walk my dog around the block which was .5 miles. I quit, and that was FOUR years ago, and ever since that day I HAVE BEEN BEDRIDDEN AND HAVE TO USE A WHEELCHAIR. It is my biggest regret in life.

My best friend who has seen my whole journey has recently developed undiagnosed chronic pain, and she is in the EXACT same scenario i was 4 years ago. Busting her ass at a pizza place with extreme pain that hurts her so much she tells me "im in so much pain i don't even feel like a person." She doesn't feel LUCID. And her manager and coworkers are saying the same thing "if you don't help us you will let us down, we'll be in the shit."

That job thats hurting you isn't fucking worth it. I promise you no money is worth losing all your physical abilities and never getting them back. Your coworkers and boss do not give a shit about you, so don't you dare suffer for them. They will never understand your struggle and they will never try. They truly think being understaffed is worse than whatever pain you experience. They would rather you permanently damage yourself than inconvenience them. FUCK THEM. DON'T FUCKING DO IT!

[the-insan1ty-clause]

This is very important. We're not bodily an adult yet, but i dont/wouldnt wanna grow up into and adult that everyone still looks down on and assumes cant make his own decisions just because of a disability

physically/mentally disabled people/adults do NOT equal the inability to consent

And, yes, please, seconding prev's tag; Disabled people. Can. Transition.

Wild concept that shouldn’t be wild and the coldest take ever: disabled adults are *adults* and not just children trapped in adult bodies

Disabled adults have sex

Disabled adults do drugs

Disabled adults curse

Disabled adults get piercings and tattoos

Disabled adults can make adult decisions and act and behave like adults because we are adults

It’s just so weird for people to constantly infantilize me all because of my mobility aids when I’m not a child!!!

[i-say-stupid-things]

what is it with able bodied people saying “get well soon” after you say that you’re chronically ill?? like? i am not gonna? and i once literally responded with “i’m not gonna, it’s chronic, as in permanent.” and they went like “oh well, hope you get better!” like bro 💀

[lupusbaby]

Say it with me! Wheelchairs aren’t sad! Mobility aids aren’t sad! Mobility aids are instruments of freedom!

[disableddyke]