insidestory1

[insidestory1]

[insidestory1]

Yes, some people seem oddly resistant to rational facts.

i have this unrealistic fantasy in my head where if you calmly and logically explain something to someone perfectly they will understand your position and gain knowledge from the exchange. unfortunately in the real world this does not happen often

[insidestory1]

Yes, and it's really important not to beat yourself up for feeling angry or having breakdowns because you "just can't deal with this anymore!" However long you live with chronic illness, and however good you get at dealing with it, it's still difficult. The emotions ftom that difficulty are still going to hit you from time to time, and that's normal. There's no way to handle something as awful as chronic illness well all the time.

[insidestory1]

It blows my mind whenever I remember this.

Friendly reminder for that part of your mind that tries to convince you it's not that bad or that you're faking: the usual amount of pain a human experiences is zero.

[insidestory1]

Her face is how I feel on the inside. All the time.

[insidestory1]

I feel like one of those girls in a rom-com, sitting by their phone waiting for a call or a message that never comes. But I'm not waiting to hear from my crush. No, no. I'm waiting to hear from my stupid doctor who was supposed to contact me about an appointment TWO weeks ago.

[insidestory1]

It's especially hard when people are doing a lot of things for you. You know you can't possibly reciprocate those favours. Going out of your way to give someone a lift to their appointment. Making someone their favourite foods when they're not well. It makes you feel like a deadweight in the relationship, even if you know the other person doesn't think of that way.

hate how being disabled keeps me from being a good person.

i can't visit people. i can't cook for people. i can't get people groceries or give them rides or go to protests or town halls or rallys. i can't organize or get involved in my local community.

[insidestory1]

Absolutely. Everyone should be able to look after their needs without worrying that someone's going to question them for foing so. Much better to ignore the odd person who fakes their disability than to harass people because their disabilities aren't visible enough.

Unpopular opinion? No one should ever accuse another person of faking a disability. Yes, it sucks that people fake disabilities. But as an ambulatory wheelchair user, someone who can walk sometimes and not other times, someone with two invisible disabilities...too many people have accused me of faking needing a wheelchair, faking Autism, that I could never do the same to anyone else, even if they really might be faking it. I should be able to stand up from my wheelchair and walk without fear of getting yelled at. I should be able to wear headphones, have loss of speech, and stim in public without people spreading rumors about me. I should be able to have tics without being accused of faking Tourette's (forgive me if I spelled that wrong, I don't have it, I simply have tics that are caused by my FND). Disabled people should be able to live their lives without being questioned on whether or not they're ACTUALLY disabled, or being talked about behind their back.

[insidestory1]

I feel like when people say that, they're confusing inability with incompetence. It's like they think they're accusing you of some personal failing when they acknowledge that you can't do something. But being unable to do something because of a disability isn't a failing, it's just a sad fact.

“Disability doesn’t mean inability!1!”

But like it kinda does..?

Not inability to do anything and everything, but definitely an inability or at least struggle to do certain everyday tasks, processes or bodily functions?

Can we please stop watering down what disability is?

[insidestory1]

I used to beat myself up for how hard I found my periods. Like, everyone else seemed to manage just fine, they could move and go out and talk coherently to people even on days one and two. And here was me missing classes and behaving like a zombie around people every time I bled. I thought I must have a really rubbish pain tolerance and be generally cr*p at hanfling life. Then I found out that I have a disease which makes my periods about 100 times more painful than they're supposed to be.

The moral of the story? If your body is telling you that you are in so much pain that it's hard to function, chances are that you are in so much pain that it's hard to function. Be kind to yourself and don't gaslight yourself into thinking that you're weak or making a fuss about nothing. The way your body feels is legitimate. The things you find hard are legitimate. It doesn't even matter if you don't know why you're in discomfort, or whether doctors can tell what's wrong with you. The way your body feels is real, and if others can manage better than you that's almost certainly because they don't face the same struggles you do. Not because you're weak.

[insidestory1]

I often wonder why the most messed up set of beliefs and values had to be the one to end up dominating the world? As the original post says, there are cultures out there which believe it's enough just to be alive. And yet, "You're worth nothing unless you spend your life slaving to make money and achieve in society" has ended up being accepted as truth in most societies.

[insidestory1]

physically disabled people have to constantly consider whether or not something they want to do is accessible. even if that's leaving the bed or going downstairs or leaving the house, or going to an event. we can't do things on a whim unless we have the privilege of being able to manage that short work, or single step, or train transfer. and i think people underestimate the psychological impact of constantly being excluded from society. from being built out of social activity. sure there's places and events and activities that have a place for us, but that just means that everywhere that doesn't have accessibility options is a place that is not and was not meant to us. whether they mean to say that or otherwise

[insidestory1]

Pleeeease😭

They should invent a sleeping for people with chronic fatigue that actually works.

[insidestory1]

I hate it when one part of my body hurts, so the rest decides to scream along in solidarity. Only one bit of my body actually has something wrong with it. But ALL my nerve endings are burning.

[insidestory1]

God bless you 🙏🏼

Thank you, and you too!

[insidestory1]

Abled people seem to have this misconception that there's something wrong with the term "disabled", but what they don't seem to realise is that there's no inherant problem with the word. The reason that "disabled" is seen as a problem word is that society has treated disabled people as "less than" for long enough that "disabled" has come to seem like a slur. To people who are healthy, anyway. So if you're trying to be more respectful to disabled people, don't say things like "No, no, we don't say disabled. We say 'differently abled'". Instead, try to change the way you think about people's disabilities.

"You're not disabled."

What am I then? no like describe it? What term would you use? disadvantaged? less capable? ill? handicapped? limited?

I am limited by an illness that will never leave me and has resulted in permanent damage to my body that will worsen over time.

What would you prefer to use if the the label "disabled" is too fucking scary. (I dont have emojis on my laptop but here would be an eyeroll).

[insidestory1]

Honestly, if I knew that I was guaranteed to have enough money to live a basic but comfortable life, it would make my illnesses so much more bearable. That looming thought of "how the heck am I going to be able to live" just makes everything so much harder. And you know who doesn't need anything to make life harder? People who are ill and in pain!

fuck filing for disability

fuck ableist jobs

fuck the requirement to work to stay alive

fuck it all

no one should have to beg for the ability to live. no one should end their day crying because what the fuck am i going to do. no one should have to rely on ableds to have a semi-livable life.

[EDIT: when referring to relying on ableds to live, i mean relying on people who have no connection to our lives to allow us to live, i.e.. government officials, doctors who don't know/care, etc. i do NOT mean caretakers and loved ones and people who make life worth living. anyone who needs a caretaker or help from another person is so so valid and also just human.]

and sure, it may be all in vain, the rants, the raging, the tear-filled nights, but i hope it all works out for you. i hope that you find a way, even if it takes far more effort than it should. i hope one day we will be able to be disabled and also alive.