#C-ptsd

[thelatestkate]

[biggest-gaudiest-patronuses]

anyone else have multiple traumatic memories associated specifically with holidays/family vacations? because that is a topic I never see discussed in all the So You Had A Shitty Childhood, Now What? self-help books i've been reading. but for me, it was a significant thing. and the more i think about it the more it seems like this would be an (unfortunately) common experience. would be grateful to hear if this matches other peoples' experiences...

[neuroticboyfriend]

Another thing I just realized. If you isolate, especially for a long time, and then start coming out of your shell... You're not gonna suddenly be fine with being around people, being seen by others, or having social interactions.

Whatever reason you were isolating is going to follow you. You're gonna be uncomfortable. You're going to try to hide. You're gonna have a hard time trusting others and being honest about yourself. This is natural.

Change doesn't happen over night. Taking action to put yourself in social situations is only the first step; learning how to be yourself around others and who you want in your life is a whole other ballgame. It's going to take time for you to discover how you want to exist in the world.

That's okay. It's frustrating as all hell. It's scary putting yourself out there. Sometimes it might feel like you'll never connect with someone else - that you'll always be an outsider no matter what you do. You might feel stuck and doomed, but you're not.

You are capable of growth and healing. There are people who want to be your friend, who will love and support you in ways you didn't think was possible. They will be patient with you as you struggle and change. Not only that, but they'll be proud of all the progress you made, and continue to make every day.

I say this to you, and myself. I'm experiencing this firsthand, and I've been being so mean to myself for not living up to whatever standards I've placed on myself. I can't push myself to be someone I'm not ready to be, to do things I'm not ready to do. I only have today, and who I am today.

So everyday, I can put some effort into exploring myself as a social creature. I can be more gentle and patient with myself through the process. It's not going to perfect; I'm just one person, and you are too. We'll both be okay and get through this. We are allowed to take things one step at a time, one day at a time.

One day we'll be able to look back on where we are now and see how much we've grown, how much happier we are. Until then, we'll hold on for the ride and keep going. ♡

[c-ptsdrecovery]

There is a genuine reason why some people are always worrying (or asking) if their friends are angry with them.

"Childhood sexual and emotional abuse, and physical neglect are linked to more interpretations of neutral facial expressions as contempt and anger." --NIH

[thesustainedworldatransverse]

I think the reason why I’m so upset wit the end of MHA is that, while it had been building up to the hero students saving their villain, the ending was instead just “if you’re too damaged and traumatised you’re beyond saving and just need to be put out of your misery”. Friend, I’m holding your shoulders and shaking you so please believe me: no one is ever beyond saving. I say this as an abuse survivor who has experienced things that would make most people shit their pants full. Please understand that post-traumatic growth exists. Post-traumatic joy exists. Post-traumatic love exists. Friend, you are not too damaged and you will go on to live a wonderful life.

[nagichi-boop]

I know that this scene is about Shadow grappling with the fact he has alien DNA, but I feel like his thoughts in this scene are relatable to people with conditions like autism, BPD and NPD (not an exhaustive list) who struggle with feeling and being treated like an outcast or monster at times. For some, it’s because we struggle to operate in a world not designed for us. For others, it’s fighting against all the negative perceptions society has of us.

Shadow sees himself as a monster. But Maria assures him that just because he expresses himself differently, that doesn’t make him evil. I feel like especially for people who struggle with empathy, this really hits home. People often assume that people who struggle with empathy, whether cognitive or emotional, are heartless. And for those with personality disorders, they’re often treated as if they are abusive or manipulative just because of the disorder they have, even though people with said disorders are victims of trauma and abuse themselves.

I hope you all have a Maria in your lives. And if not, please remember that it’s your actions that define you, not your neurotype or disorder. If you struggle with socialising, or emotional regulation, or empathy, you’re not a monster. You’re strong for living in a world that so often seems to outcast and insult you. You’re strong for choosing to be as kind as you can be, even though so many people refuse to show that common courtesy in return. Even when you can’t be strong, you are not a monster.

Please be kind to yourselves. You deserve it.

[lilliryth]

Fuck, man. Neurodivergent love. I’m never going to get over it. Depression love says “I will do my best to stay for you.” DID/OSDD love says “Every face of this brain is endeared to you.” Autism love says “I will do anything to reach you, to give you the understanding I never got.” BPD love says “You are a vital organ of mine, and I am one of yours.” Bipolar love says “Wherever I may go, I will come back to you.” Post-traumatic love says “I will always show you gentleness in this reckless world.” ADHD love says “I will try for you, no matter the obstacle.” Anxiety love says “You are my safe space and I am yours.” ASPD love says “I choose to, on purpose, for you.” OCD love says “I will stand guard for you.” Neurodivergent love. Neurodivergent love. Different brains in love, oh my G-d. These colors are uncountable and they are my religion.

[severussnapemylove]

Things that make me murderous: Snaters who are like “why didn’t Snape just grow up and get over it”, as if c-ptsd from a lifetime of abuse at home and school doesn’t cause damage to the mind and can’t just disappear the minute you turn 18. Untreated, unhealed childhood c-ptsd in adults is a nightmare. It is hellishly hard to function in society emotional stunting and anger issues are common. And it’s made so much worse by continuously being around triggers of your trauma.

[someplacehigh]

When will I start feeling less *static noises*

[thelatestkate]

Shop , Patreon , Books and Cards , Mailing List

[lowcountry-gothic]

Evidence has shown spanking to be connected to how we relate to success and failure even in adulthood. One study found that kids that were spanked in childhood, by adolescence showed an increased reaction in the brain when errors were made. The same study found that in these same adolescents who were spanked in childhood, their brains didn’t respond as strongly to success. This means that you’re more upset when you make an error, making it harder to deal with failure, or simply making a mistake — but when you do it correctly, you don’t get the same good feelings that others do.  We commonly see these outcomes in people with Complex PTSD, including chronic hopelessness (‘I’m always going to mess things up’), shame ('there’s something wrong with me,’) as well as difficulty appreciating when you are successful and life is going smoothly. The study seems to indicate that due to spanking, the brain becomes preoccupied on making mistakes at the expense of appreciating when things go well. It would make sense that this could create some patterns of thinking that focus on what goes wrong, but difficulty focusing on what goes well — setting people up for mental health challenges.

D.L. Mayfield and Krispin Mayfield, STRONGWILLED,��Chapter 10: “Spare the Rod, Spoil the Child”

[maggotwithanf]

hey PTSD havers, my arch nemesis (the trailers for The Nun) are back!!! For some reason this movie series has trailers with MASSIVE SOUND SPIKES at the very end of their pre-skip cycle (so you CAN'T skip the jumpscare/loud sound spike unless you physically mute your TV/unplug your headphones/realize it's happening so you can manually mute).

reblog to save a fellow PTSD-haver from having a fucking panic attack at 9AM whilst watching youtube

[neuroticboyfriend]

hey you. are you frustrated with yourself? are you beating yourself for not coping better? for not doing things you know can help you? for being afraid, angry, or depressed? ask yourself that, honestly.

if the answer is yes, i want you to know one thing: you're gonna be okay. it may not feel like it, but you're doing your best. you can't hate yourself into knowing better, and hating yourself still won't help you with the things you do know. knowledge and awareness and willpower can only get you so far.

you're not a computer. you're not a textbook. you're a living breathing being. you have feelings and beliefs, and it's going to take some time to work through those. it's okay to be scared. it's okay to be frustrated. it's okay to not be okay. no one can be good and fine all the time, and many of us can't be so often.

so, this is your sign to meet yourself where you're at. keep your head where your feet are. you're exactly where you're meant to be. you can't force yourself to be someone you're not, and the only way this gets better is if you accept yourself first.

so just focus on that. what you're experiencing right now will pass. future you will figure things out. for now, just be. just be. that's all you have to do. you exist and that's good. you're doing great. keep going. you'll be surprised at what you're capable of. ♡

[c-ptsdrecovery]

One thing I have noticed since recovering from C-PTSD is how much more in tune and cognizant of my emotions I am.

I used to be very unconscious of my emotions. But now, let's say I'm watching YouTube. I'm watching a video whose underlying message is that the world is going to shit. I'm going to notice much more quickly that my mood is turning downward, I'm getting much more anxious. I recognize that it's the video that's making me feel this way, and that it's oriented toward the negative in order to keep viewers tuned in. So I make a conscious decision to seek out some more neutral or positive-toned media to improve my mood. This is the kind of observation of my own emotions that I was incapable of just a few years ago.

I should put in a boost for the book that I think helped me the most with this, which was Being in My Body by Toni Rahman. It really helped me to see the problem, notice it when it was occurring, and train myself to pay attention to my somatic reactions to things. I can trust my gut SO much more now than I used to, I know when the vibes are off, I notice creepy people much quicker than my friends do, and I can monitor and change my behaviors that are messing with my mood. No doom-scrolling for me!

[dependently-schizotypal]

I am currently making a 《Therapy Diary》...

And the first thing I'm putting in it is a graphic(❔️) of all Personality Disorders together, to make a global assessment on my issues. [I call it the C-PTSD wheel, because I believe that all PDs are just C-PTSD in different fonts, but I think no one's ready to have this conversation yet.]

Anyway, since I believe it can be helpful for some people to track their overall PDs symptoms in order to compare them, here it is❕️

[you can use it and/or take inspiration from it] [credits would be appreciated, but not necessary]

Yeah I know it's wacky and kinda ugly, but it makes the job. Each Personality Disorder is classed in alphabetical order, and each dash on the PD's line is for 1 symptom of the diagnostic criteria. For example:

OCPD have eight diagnostic criterias, so it has seven dashes + the border as the maximum & the shared center to indicated a lack of symptoms.

In the end, it should look like something like this:

I personally put a color-code to distinguish when I can be diagnosed with the PD, have traits of the PD, or nothing at all... But it's not a must, as long as you have a shape, it tells enough. If you want to have a checklist for all personality disorders at one place, I'm putting them below:

AsPD checklist

AvPD checklist

BPD checklist

DPD checklist

HPD checklist

NPD checklist

OCPD checklist

PPD checklist

StPD checklist

SzPD checklist

[recoverr]

may all of the things that lack gentleness and kindness fall away; i don't want the sharp edges of cruelty to shape life around me. i don't need tough and rough. i want people that know the tenderness of our bruises and choose not to weaponize hurt disguised as "tough love."