#Bruce doesn't like thinking about it either
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
Note
Sanne on the topic of femjay... do u think she'd like giving gifts? I feel like she's the type to shower u in gifts and act like it's nbd she didn't even think about it when she got it for u (she is lying)
ok anon I'm pretty sure this isn't what you meant buuut it's kinda related? anyway i was inspired so please enjoy awkward arkham knight femjay who doesn't know how to interact with her old best friend/girlfriend when she returns from the dead so she starts leaving gifts instead. i ❤️ my weirdo wife
ak!female!jason todd x fem!reader.
****
Someone has been leaving you presents.
Normally, you'd be freaked out. Probably, you should be freaked out anyway. How someone knows your exact dress size and what chocolate you like and your favorite flowers and your birthstone... well, it would scare anyone.
But. But the thing is. Every gift and every placement of the gift feels very familiar. It feels like the habit of an old love. Because she used to do the same. Pretty rocks or flowers found on patrol. A t-shirt for the band you liked. A kiss.
It feels like training, like muscle memory: here is how to break in without breaking anything. Here is how to leave a scene undisturbed. Lessons that a friend shared with you.
A friend you loved. A friend you mourned.
The dresses are beautiful and certainly not cheap. But they have a familiarity to their design. They're extravagant, fairytale dresses that you dreamt of wearing when you were young. Dresses you have no reason to wear now.
They aren't revealing or risqué either, and that comforts you too, even though it probably shouldn't. Bruce would be upset at your lack of self-preservation.
This is you living in the past. This is hoping for the impossible.
The jewelry is also beautiful and nothing you could wear to work or to a grocery trip. It's all necklaces and bracelets heavy with diamonds or emeralds or sapphires. But there's a single ruby ring you've received, and it's plainer than everything else. You wear that regularly, even though that definitely encourages your admiring stalker.
The gift-giving is random but they never go more than two weeks without a visit. And there's no note, no demand, nothing. It's like you have an invisible pet raven who likes bringing you trinkets that cost more than your rent.
After the seventh gift, you plan a trap. You want to face this admirer, show that you're not afraid. Well, you're a little afraid. Mostly, it's fear at the fact that you haven't called the police or Batman, even though you and Batman haven't been simpatico for a long time.
No, something stops you. The hand that leaves your gifts is a hand you know. You're certain of it.
You set up a camera behind your shuttered closet, then leave for the day.
You return to the camera gone and a beautiful gold carved statue of a dove. And a note.
Not yet.
Well, fine. You can wait. You're mad because that camera wasn't cheap, but you can wait.
Weeks pass. Gifts arrive. You make a batch of cookies as a thank you on one occasion. Three cookies are missing when you come home. You smile.
Then the night comes.
You don't know how you know it's the night you'll meet them. You just have a feeling. You've written them notes, certain they've been received. No notes have arrived for you besides the one from all those weeks ago.
You put on one of the dresses, a delicate, frilly blue creation that shows your shoulders and neck. You finish it with the sapphire necklace, one of the first gifts you received.
She slips in through your window and freezes when she sees you, even though you know she timed it so you'd be home when she came.
"Hi," you say.
She doesn't speak. She approaches you slowly, carefully. She's very tall, very muscular. Her face is covered with an intricate helmet and she wears similar armor on her body. A new hero in Gotham? Or a villain?
"Do I know you?" you ask.
She shakes her head. You study her for a moment. Glowing eyes stare back. You can't tell if she's lying. It seems like she means it: you don't know her.
"But you know me?"
Your admirer hesitates. Then she nods.
You close the distance until you're a foot apart. Her breathing remains steady but her fingers are restless.
"I like the gifts," you say. "Though I'm confused why you're giving them to me."
Her fingers still. She says nothing.
"A friend used to give me gifts too," you say quietly.
You're both startled. Why did you say that? You don't know.
"You don't want to hurt me," you say.
She shakes her head fiercely.
Suddenly, you want her to touch you. You lift your head and expose your neck. You can tell she's tracking the movement. It sends a thrill down your spine. Maybe something's wrong with both of you.
"Do you like your necklace on me?" you ask.
Touch it. Touch me. Prove you aren't a ghost.
You hear her swallow and inhale shakily. She reaches for you and lightly touches the gold chain around your neck with one gloved finger. You close your eyes. A name falls from your lips. God, you miss her.
The window creaks. You open your eyes. She is gone.
#jason todd x reader#female jason todd x reader#jason todd x you#arkham knight jason todd#1st time writing ak so *gestures vaguely*#blurb#inbox
79 notes
·
View notes
Text
(Steph, Jason, and Tim sitting on the couch in Wayne Manor)
Steph: So, why did you and Rose break up?
Tim, curious:
Jason: Well, we broke up for the reason every other couple breaks up. We weren't having the amount of sex required to ignore the bad things about each other.
Tim: ....what...?
Jason, not stopping: It's just like this one phrase; "Love is blind. Lust is Hellen Keller."
Tim, spitting coffee out: JeEZus!
Steph: We don't have that problem, do we?
Jason: Oh, hell no. Three times a day is perfect.
Tim, partially choking: STOP TALKING-
#incorrect quotes#dc comics#incorrect dc quotes#batfam incorrect quotes#jason todd#stephanie brown#tim drake#jaysteph#inspired by#taylor tomlinson#because she's funny#plus the phrase#they're in their early twenties and mid-twenties respectively#they have high drives#plus all of the adrenaline from vigilante-ing?#it would make it even higher#which is why spends a fortune on birth control using Bruce's credit cards#no#Bruce doesn't like thinking about it either#poorTimmy#he had to hear it#Mention of Hellen Keller#mention of Rose Wilson
94 notes
·
View notes
Text
the fact that alfred was the one to put up jason's memorial is so important to me
#alfred's military background and his sudden shove into parenthood are things i think about a lot#alfred using the term 'soldier' as something honourable. as something to take pride in.#alfred putting 'a good soldier' on jason's plaque to show his care#the voice in bruce's head referring to his children as his soldiers sounding suspiciously like alfred's#bruce initially refusing to acknowledge jason's existence after his death bc it's the only way he can keep going#& alfred saying 'i will not let you do this. if you will not acknowledge him in your daily life i will make you do so every night'#because alfred doesn't know how to acknowledge the absence of a child either#besides going about your life and praying hoping wishing that they return somehow safe and sound#but he knows how to honour fallen soldiers.#and he will help you in the only way that he can.#sorry i just have so many thoughts about this#(justice league 19)#alfred pennyworth#jason todd#red hood#bruce wayne#batman
9K notes
·
View notes
Text
this is the stupidest crossover possible but I want Tim to make House his doctor
yes that House
why? He needs someone who is very good, will not give up or send Tim out to a different specialist just because his medical condition is difficult, will not be overly concerned about the danger Tim puts himself in, and will lie on Tim's medical records AND to Batman/Bruce Wayne/all of the Bats without hesitation or fear.
House is and will do all of those things without hesitation. He has no shame, no boundaries, he WILL get into a public fight with Bruce Wayne if it means keeping that man out of his patient's (and House's) business. He will help Tim lie to and gaslight the rest of his family without hesitation.
in exchange, Tim is his favorite patient. Not because they get along, necessarily, Tim is a know-it-all little shit and they constantly bicker and House hates how practically every facet of Tim's existence is a lie (and Tim thinks House is a smug know-it-all jackass who is needlessly cruel and callous bc he thinks the world owes him and never delivers just bc he's in pain, news flash a lot of people are in pain and manage not to be assholes) BUT, 1, Tim brings him really interesting cases and problems, and 2, Tim NEVER lies to House about his medical conditions or what he was doing when they happened.
He lies about literally almost everything else under the sun TO everyone else, but he is 100% completely upfront and honest about his medical history and what is going on with him with House.
admittedly it takes a while for House to realize Tim ISN'T lying to him because some of the shit he says is completely insane ("the vigilante thing is pretty obvious but what do you MEAN you got the Apocalypse virus TWICE, AND SURVIVED, AS A FOURTEEN-FIFTEEN YEAR OLD")
but once he realizes Tim doesn't ever lie to him, he becomes House's favorite patient because at least TIM gives him all of the data he needs as best he's able the moment he asks. At least House doesn't have to waste his time following up on bogus information or figuring out the truth, he can just get right into the meat of the medical issue at hand.
also it's so fun to lie directly to Batman's face, know the man knows, and know he can't do anything about it
#tim drake#house md#I just think it would be funny#not sure how he'd feel about the rest of the family#he and Damian would not get along well#he and Jason might#Dick and Duke are too 'nice' for his tastes#he's not afraid of Cass#probably doesn't like her that much either tbh#he doesn't like that she can read him#and then just tells people when he's lying or in pain#she means well but lies are protective and help keep some things private#and he doesn't like being scrutinized#Jason is probably his favorite because they're both assholes#and Jason can actually rile Tim up and bully him (affectionately)#he hates Bruce so much#the man's need for control vs House's utter hatred of being controlled#Bruce keeps trying to steal or look at Tim's records without his permission#even though Tim is an adult and can make his own decisions#House gets ferally protective over Tim because this is HIS patient and Bruce is a fucking JACKASS#they probably do end up in a public fight at some point#because Bruce needs to keep a public face while House does not#Stephanie and Jason watch while eating popcorn#in Tim's room#Stephanie and House are largely ambivalent towards each other#they lob insults as greetings and leave it at that
636 notes
·
View notes
Text
Dr Wayne AU
Idea from this post.
Bruce graduated from medical school. He went out and trained to become a vigilante. He came back and things mostly turned out like the original universe does. Until Dick. The stress was getting to him. Gnawing away at his morals and last shred of patients. Mysteriously, the building Tony Zuko was in blew up and Batman wasn't seen again.
Years go by, and more mysterious explosions kill more mob bosses and super villains. No one connects Bruce to the explosions except for a malnourished street kid who caught him in the act. Smart little street rat that is Jason Todd uses this knowledge to get some food. Bruce quickly takes a liking to him and brings him home. Jason starts helping Bruce rig these explosions after a while. While setting up a bomb meant for their slipperiest evil doer, Joker, it goes off while Jason's in the building. Bruce goes a little crazy (or maybe crazier. who's to say) after Jason's death.
He meets Tim Drake at a function being held by Mr and Mrs Drake and notices some things. The first thing he notices is how similar Tim looks to Jason when they met in that dark alley. The second thing he notices is that the Drakes are almost always out of Gotham. The third thing he notices is that Tim seems to light up when Bruce mentions Dick. He'd love to just snatch the kid up and bring him home, but he couldn't. Not without a reason to keep the kid. It was just luck that one of the many villains still populating Gotham decided to target the plane the Drakes were on a week later. In his gratitude for the opportunity to take in the sweet child he'd found, he made sure the explosion he set for them would only maim them instead of kill them.
Getting Jason was amazing and horrible. The sweet precious boy nearly killed Bruce and Tim with the minor explosive he'd put in Bruce's favorite car. But that didn't matter all that much. By the end of the entire debacle, no one was hurt and they'd even managed to clear up some misunderstandings. Bruce had all of his children under one roof again.
He thought he had all of his children under one roof until he learned about Damian. There weren't any words he could use to describe how upset it made him to learn that another of his children were being kept from him. He did have to thank Talia, however. Without Talia slipping up to Jason about Damian's existence he wouldn't have known until one of the Al Ghul's revealed it to him. Tim overheard Jason and Bruce planning to retrieve Damian and revealed that he'd known since he came to the manor what Jason and Bruce did. Told the two that he knew how to help gather intel on the League long term as long as they could slip a microchip into one of the League's mainframe computers. The Plan went well, all things considered. Jason and Bruce came out of it with a few scars and a broken rib, which was less damage than expected. They sadly weren't able to catch many of the assassins in any of their micro explosions, but they overall won the battle.
After everything was said and done, Damian fit in well with their chaotically violent family. Even if he did prefer swords to explosives. It was much less strange than Dick's proclivities to only do harm when he felt it was strictly necessary. He gets it from Alfred, Bruce supposed.
#batman#dc batman#dick grayson#bruce wayne#jason todd#damian wayne#tim drake#this is more an info dump than a fic#so if anyone wants to use these ideas feel free#i didn't add the girls in because i don't think any of them would join bruce's crusade in the way he's carrying it out#I think cass would end up with wonder woman or green arrow tho#barbara would probably become a cop like in the lego movie#steph would probably still end up as a vigilante but idk#don't ask me how duke factors in because either he gets adopted by bruce or he doesn't and i'm not sure which would work better#i do think that he'd become a vigilante still tho#the bats are kinda more anti-villain than vigilante#also i had thoughts about how the canon version would react to seeing this version that i was going to write down#but all of those thoughts kinda flew out of my mind when i was writing this
34 notes
·
View notes
Note
Scrolling through the your blog (love your blog btw) and saw in a random post you had in the tags Bruce Stress Bakes and is there anything you wanna elaborate/share more about the hc? Cause I love that hc dearly, like a) I will never not be immune to giant muscular ass man making sweet treats and b) no one can tell me Bruce Control-Freak Wayne cannot only COOK WELL but baking requires such precision I KNOW he’s got difficult dishes DOWN PAT.
No because that's EXACTLY it!!! Baking, (and sometimes cooking but cooking is way more forgiving), actively encourages and rewards the kind of obsessive precision that Bruce is known for! Sure double triple and quadruple checking plans is annoying in the field but no one is complaining when you can whip up a batch of perfect croissants whenever they ask.
Also I think what he bakes reflects what stress he's under. Complicated case? Lots of petit fours and stuff that has layers and details and snickety things so his hands are constantly moving. Personal relationships? Repetitive motions like babka or rugelech or challah. If he's baking basic things like cupcakes or cookies it's based on quantity. A batch of cookies and some cupcakes? It's fine he was just lonely. Three batches of cookies and marble cupcakes and a Bundt cake??? Emergency something happened and he's spiraling.
The Justice League realizes how blunt Batman was in the last meeting corelates almost exactly with how many baked goods are at the next meeting. It takes them much longer to realize that Bruce goes home after criticizing his new coworkers and panics about them hating him and bakes to make up for it. Because deep down Bruce is still an 8 year old who isn't sure anyone still alive actually likes him and doesn't just want to benefit from being close to him.
#asks#I think Bruce is like. if I don't explain what they did wrong they will die next time#and he doesn't care so much that people won't like him for it that he'll stop#but he wishes they understood why he's doing it#but he can't explain himself so he bakes#anyways Oliver queen takes one bite of those double chocolate chunk cookies and launches across the table#because either bayman is keeping Bruce hostage in his kitchen or batman is bruce#and both versions require a private conversation#also thank you!!! I'm glad you like this blog lately I feel like it's 90% bitching#sorry about that I think
14 notes
·
View notes
Text
Jason, especially in that one Teen Titans comic, often complains about the lack of pants he has. And I'm haunted thinking about that at all times
#he clearer wanted to have pants. or at the very least. something more suited for cold environments#boy was in the fucking arctic. pantless. and then teased for asking how wonder woman wasnt cold. he cant catch a break 😔#its just so weird. so wild#im not sayijg. entirely. that bruce was forcing jason to have the same costume as dick with no changes for him#but also.#he was. like he was clearly stated in comics to be doing that with thw whole#makikg him go by robin making him wear the robin costume saying he is robin now. not acknowledging him as like a different robin#no villains really pointed out. only harvey bullock did. i miss harvey bullock so bad#like. its more of a subtle hes not allowed to change it. where i dont think he really thinks he can ask#wpuld jason habe been able to get pants if he directly asked? well.#i want to give bruce the benefit of the doubt and say yes#lets just say that#amd obviously this changed with tim#probably bc the writers wanted to steer clearer of making a possible dick clone or copy#but like in universe#bruce either realized making your kid dress uo as your other kid is kinda fucked. wanted tim to have more protection#couldn't stand tim looking like jason. or tim was firmer in getting a new suit where jason was more passive about for many possible reasons#or something else. who knows. its all up to you#he doesn't even have like a winter suit or something. dang. bruce you're a million billionaire or whatever#you can afford fancy heaters in both suits but you cant make robin some spare pants. he was in the arctic.#i dont careee they were just walking to the fortress which was warm. he had no pants OR long sleeves#when jason was left to his own devices to make his own suit he had covered legs and arms. the shorts is not whats in his heart#why DONT they have winter or colder weather outfits huh.#i can forgive the robin uniform because yknow running around working out working up a sweat#but my disbelief can only be suspended so far#when snows involved i simply cannot accept it#but thats leaning away from canon and more going into “if i could whatever i wanted and redesign them to be vaguely more practical”
3 notes
·
View notes
Text
Bruce disapproving of Jason's relationship with Roy, so he spreads lies that Batman is a homophobe
#rambling#as far as my reading for batman + arsenal ik bruce doesn't disapprove of roy or at least i didn't think so#so his only beef is on principle just with ollie as a minor point#and ofc that he tends to see jason more in terms of his problems than his traits these days#so its a mix of annoying overbearing ass worry and emotional stupidity where he doesn't articulate anything and pisses jason off#for the record i dont think a single titan gives a shit about batman's opinion so i think roy would find this funny#jason: batman forbidding me from marrying arsenal LIKE THE BIG PHOBE HE IS#(jason cant marry roy because he's legally dead and possibly defrauding the gov)#jason immediately jumping to the marriage option just to give him a heart attack#the way they would celebrate by shooting a rocket launcher at black mask's place of residence with it saying Just Married#meanwhile jason adds fuel to the fire by posting about green arrow being an ally#ollie doesnt approve either for his own reasons but for This he can get behind#dont read all this its stupid
0 notes
Text
DPxDC Shit Fae!Danny Has Said While Living With Waynes
Danny, making a 'got your nose' gesture: Hey Jason, look, I've got your name!
Red Hood, who suddenly can't remember his own name: What the fuck
Bruce, in a tired dad voice: Danny, please, we talked about this, return your brother's name back
Danny: Oh, come on, it's not like he even uses it
Jason, thankfully remembering his name: And I repeat, what the f u c k
Steph, at dinner: I was wondering, what do faeries even eat normally? Like, flowers and stuff?
Danny, his eyes two black voids inside his eyesockets: The souls of the innocent
Steph: So that's a 'no' on the flowers?
Danny, back to normal and shoving a bagel in his mouth: I mean, I can, but would you want to stay on the crumbs-only diet when you are in a 5-star Michelin restaurant?
Tim: It's actually 3-star. Michelin rating system only has three stars, not five.
Dick: Are you saying that people are basically food joints for Fae?
Damian, at Constantine: It would do you well to choose your wording better when speaking to fair folk-
Danny, very much a fair folk, appearing out of thin air in the Cave: Yolo, s'up bitches, guess who's back in town!
Damian: -even when they do not necessarily do so themselves.
Constantine, looking between them: Are you sure you're the human and he is the changeling?
Tim, 46 hours of no sleep: Hey, if you can take a name from someone, does it mean you can take, like, other things that have no real shape or form?
Danny: Names do have shape and form, they even have taste. Yours is like a ping-pong ball made out of really dense cotton candy with banana-caramel flavor.
Tim, losing his touch with reality: Dense banana cotton candy...
Danny: By the way, I know you wanted to ask me if I could take your need to sleep from you, and theoretically, the answer is yes.
Tim, his whisper full of hope: ...will you?..
Danny: No. Either go to sleep or keep suffering. I'm not here to make your life easier.
Danny, after a half-an-hour rant on the Fae customs and traditions: -and Fae never tell the truth, but also never lie. It's a work of art, you know, say what you want but never in a way that makes sense.
Jason: So Fae just like to fuck with people.
Danny, looking him in the eyes, smiling and winking: Sure, humans are very fuckable.
Bruce, trying very hard not to pay attention to this: Can you make an example?
Danny: Sure. I lied.
Bruce: Where?
Danny: :)
Bruce, feeling like he is about to lose his mind: W h e r e ?
Alfred, right after he heard Dick's muffled screaming in the hallway: Young Master Danny, would you mind returning Master Dick his ability to talk in coherent sentences?
Danny, obediently standing up and walking out of the library: ...okay.
Bruce: How come he always listens to you?
Alfred: He knows what I will do if he doesn't.
Danny, returning to the library: He will change all the silverware to iron-ware. As well as the doorknobs and hairbrushes and lightswitches and everything else.
Alfred: Did you fix Master Dick's shoes?
Danny: I did. But I still think that making all of his shoes left ones was funny.
Alfred: Indeed, it was.
| <-prev | next-> |
There's also a fic now.
#danny phantom#dpxdc#dc x dp#batfam#fae rules#fae#tim drake#bruce wayne#damian wayne#jason todd#john constantine#changelings#danny is a little shit#bruce is a tired dad#am i going to write a fic with this au soneday#maybe#dialogue prompt#feel free to add on#cork writes#cork prompts
3K notes
·
View notes
Text
Which one is in Danger?
Part 2
DCxDP Prompt/Drabbles
Part 1
"We have your son."
Bruce was expecting a very normal day. If you consider having to deal with the chaos of his children and being a vigilante at night as normal.
But nonetheless, a very simple day of his normal routine and once a week dinner with his family.
Only to be broken by a phone call by someone stating that his son has been kidnapped.
Bruce didn't answer right away, he was mentally counting his sons who, are all counted for, are on the dinner table.
"Which one?" Bruce eyed each of his sons and counted them again just to be sure.
"Timothy Drake-Wayne."
Bruce immediately eyed Tim who was sitting in between Jason and Cass.
Tim's here.
Then who's the one being kidnapped?
"Bruce?" Dick spoke up, thinking that something was wrong the way Bruce was looking at all of them.
Bruce slightly waved at Dick, telling him to calm down first. "What do you want?"
Dick's question seemed to catch everyone's attention since they were all looking at Bruce now.
"Two Million. Or he gets it."
A standard threat. The kind he was expecting.
"Can I speak to my son?" This earned confused looks of his children and Bruce waved them off gesturing that it was not what they were thinking about.
"Alright kid," The kidnapper from the other said grunted, almost sounding smug. "Say hello to Daddy."
Bruce could hear heavy breathing, almost sounding like a grunt. It made Bruce slightly worried. "...Tim?" Bruce decided to speak first. "Tim, Are you okay?" And Bruce hopes that he is.
A soft grunt responded. "Hi." A croaked voice managed to respond. It sounded young. And was punched in the stomach. He should know, almost all of his children had experienced that way.
"Don't worry, chum. I'm getting you out of there." Bruce tried reassuring the kid, worried about what they might do to him. Because this isn't Tim. Tim is right across from him and these kidnappers basically had kidnapped the wrong person.
He gestured to his children, a familiar gesture, for them to head to the cave and suit up. They quickly followed, not without worried glances and confused glances at Bruce's way.
"No.." The kid had said, choked out which made Bruce paused on his step in confusion. It caught his children's attention, stopping as well.
"Uhm...Dad? I'll be fine."
Bruce believed that, for some reason, but it didn't stop his worry. But the next words from the boy made him blink
"Please give me your permission."
"....To what?" Bruce asked confusingly. Permission to what?
"To hurt."
Bruce has raised enough children to know enough about silent words in some part of the sentences without right out saying it.
To hurt them.
The kid is asking permission to hurt his kidnappers.
Bruce should say no and wait for help. Should be saying that help is on the way.
Bruce should say that he'll come and save him.
Now, Bruce doesn't normally follow his gut. It causes too much mystery and had no explanation to either it would be a good thing or a bad thing.
But right now, for once, Bruce would agree with his gut.
"....Alright."
Static came in the phone, like it was losing signal but he could clearly hear the boy voice coming out like an echo.
"Good."
"What the-- AAAHHH!!!"
Beeeepppp
Bruce blinked as he looked down at his phone after the call ended.
.....Should he have not give him permission?
"B? What's wrong? Did something happen?" Dick asked, increasingly worried now as he saw Bruce staring at his phone.
"....Suit up." Bruce concluded. They should find the boy as quickly as possible. "And call an ambulance."
Bruce could see the confused look at everyone's faces as he walked passed them.
"Wait, B!" Duke had spoke up running after Bruce with his siblings. "Was someone hurt? Is it another gang fight?"
"No. The ambulance is for the kidnappers."
".....What??"
: )
Parts: Part 1
#dc x dp#dc x dp prompt#dc x dp recs#dcxdp#dp x dc crossover#dpxdc#fic recs#fic finder#dpxdc fic recs#eldritch#eldritch danny
3K notes
·
View notes
Text
(I like to think that) Lex Luthor gets clowned on by literally everyone, and Bruce is the absolute worst.
Like he'll attend an event and a literal millisecond later, Bruce will roll up and steal all the attention. And when they're inside, him or one of his crazy "children" will "accidentally" spill very red wine all over his expensive ass suit.
And what can Lex even do?
Last time he retaliated and mildly shoved Bruce, the man very dramatically flung himself across the room and fell straight into a table. He hadn't even gotten hurt- not a single bruise or cut- but that drama queen didn't appear in public for an entire month after the incident. The backlash Lex had gotten was so not worth it.
And it doesn't stop there. His kids join in on the "fun" and bully him too.
Tim permanently bans him from all the platforms owned by Wayne enterprisese, which is like borderline illegal, so Lex sues and somehow always loses.
Jason Duke and Steph team up and make it a game to throw things on his head without him realising. And when Luthor catches one of them, he can't even shout at them or whatnot cause hes actually scared shitless. Jason, the absolute tank of a man, just grins at him while placing his hands on the very noticeable gun at his hip. Duke and Steph stand on either side of him, gripping literal knives in their hands.
Damian just outright walks up to him and begins insulting him in a couple of different languages. He always gives Lex a final disgusted look before turning and walking off.
Dick might seem the sweetest, approaching him while smiling in that nice way of his. He's the worst, though, cause he always makes sure to bring a few reporters with him before he innocently starts outing Lex's latest evil scheme in front of the audience. He makes sure to bring solid evidence of the nefarious plans, but right at the end, he goes, "idk I could be wrong," before shrugging and walling off.
Cassandra doesn't do much, but she's definitely the scariest. Whenever Lex has had enough and is about to call a hit on Bruce, she appears out of nowhere, stares straight at him, and just shakes her head while saying, "No. Regret"
Basically, Lex Luthor, public enemy #1, gets (justifiably) bullied by the entirety of the human population (honestly, only the Waynes).
#thank you for coming to my ted talk#dc comics#batfam#batfam incorrect quotes#dick grayson#lex luthor#bruce wayne#damian wayne#duke thomas#jason todd#tim drake#stephanie brown#cassandra cain#batman
4K notes
·
View notes
Text
OK BUT GO OFF YOU ARE SO RIGHT
that boy LOVED his mom. he did EVERYTHING for her. he took care of her for a year when she started getting sick.
Anyway fic where Jason's best memory/person he loves most/deepest desire is revealed through magic or something but instead of anything to do with the bats or being a vigilante it's him and Catherine. His best memory is his first time visiting the public library with his mom. The person he loves most is the first person who ever loved him. His deepest desire is that his parents never died and he grew up in that little east end apartment and he graduated top of his class and he became a doctor and he got his folks a bigger house and he visits them regularly with his normal civilian boyfriend and they accept him and he's happy. If any of you even care.
#bat rambles#i'll even pull up the fucking panels if i have to like#ugh his robin run is so good#also one of the BIGGEST worries bruce had at the start of Jason's run?#that jason was going to kill two-face bc two-face killed his dad#his parents are supposed to be two people who got swept up into shit bc of poverty and the cycle you get trapped in when you're that deep i#and his dad was just some random goon who fucking died#like Jason is the child of one of these people that Batman often just beats the fuck out of and jails#and jason had to take care of his sick mom until she fucking died on him#when bruce found him he was just kinda chilling in the abandoned complex he had been taking care of her in#and jason didn't really give a fuck about his dad#but he cared enough that he was big mad when he faced two-face again#but his love for his mom is why he went so fucking feral looking for her#bruce also fucked up a LOT with jason#he tried to send him to ma gunn's school at first which. bad idea.#but jason fucked her shit up bc he's smart as hell and very determined to be his own man#and then he doesn't trust jason with two-face#and again later when he thinks jason killed the guy who brutalized (and murdered) the sex worker before Bruce was like#ok ur done with robin now ur trauma is TOO MUCH#like babes bruce was so bad with him#he has happy memories of being robin#and he has a few memories here and there of being happy like the school stuff in the comic where he's doing the extra credit at the museum#or when he joins the theater club#but he never really fit in with either. he had been through too much to connect w people his age#and then he found out his mom was actually alive#after taking care of her for a fucking year#stealing and bringing her food#he dropped out of school for her my guys#that boy is a mama's boy#jason todd
177 notes
·
View notes
Text
Headcanon that Tim introduces Cass to reddit and helps her make an account. But she mostly uses it to ask questions and user batgirlfan99 accidentally becomes a meme and an urban legend. Half her posts are AITA situations listing either horrible trauma done to her which she doesn't acknowledge as trauma or moments where she was most definitely the asshole but seems massively confused as to why. To make things more baffling the other half of her posts are questions to various subreddits like "Why does food have out of date labels when it tastes fine?" or "How many bones can I break when I'm fighting someone before it becomes cruel and not OK?" and "How can I get a real passport if I don't technically exist?"
She's so completely serious about all of this people aren't sure if it's an elaborate bit, shitposts like dril, or if someone should call a hospital and get her help. Tim's having too much fun watching it all happen so he strikes a deal with Babs to make sure Bruce never finds out and shuts it down. Babs agrees because it's nice to see Cass interacting with civilians even if it's anonymous and online.
Unfortunately Cass goes a little too locally viral on a discussion thread about Gotham water, insisting that she drank it for two years both during and after No Man's Land and she's fine, so people are clearly exaggerating about the chemicals. Bruce gets wind of it and starts making plans in case the account is run by a new Gotham joker variant but the more he looks at it the more these questions seem familiar...
The next time they're having a family dinner he mutters to Cass: "I still don't think I was the asshole during the Soul fight. You didn't give the full context ."
After this reveal, the rest of the dinner is spent with both of them arguing their case and everyone voting on if Bruce was NTA. Dick, Tim, Duke and Damian vote YTA. Cass and Bruce vote NTA. Dick says Cass was also the asshole for punching him in the face which sets off a whole new round of discourse.
batgirlfan99 deletes her account the following morning, leading to widespread mourning across her frequent subreddits. Cass still thinks it was worth it. She knows the difference between laundry detergent, fabric softener, and fabric conditioner now.
2K notes
·
View notes
Note
Sigh.. We all should've have chosen both wally and conner...i can't imagine the faces of batfam
how to be a heartbreaker! (again &. again concept)
ft. yandere! wally west, starfire, roy harper, artemis, conner kent, bart allen x gn! neglected! reader w/ platonic yandere! batfam.
— masterlist !
reblogs and interactions are encouraged and appreciated.
tw: age gaps but there isn't nsfw (except for conner) and the reader is described to be older than 20 in this concept and was far ignored longer than in the og story.
a/n: happy (late) halloween! 🎃 i'm praying to the gods, please don't let this post flop, i'm in my flop era fr! because i am not writing allat for it to get ignored 💔 (just kidding i love u guys, especially to all those who comment! i read all your comments even if i'm unable to reply at times). if you guys are wondering why i didn't include all the characters, it's because this is just a drabble and if anyone likes more concepts about this, please send in asks! anyways, enjoy this sweet harem au hehe.
anon, you are so right. but let me raise you this: getting together with all your siblings' teammates. i'm not just saying wally and conner, no! i'm saying the young justice, the teen titans, all their friends and old pals— the moment you come of age, hide under the radar for a few years and eventually meet them at random. you'd be giving dick, hell, even bruce, your father, mind you, a run for his money when it comes to a player reputation amongst the siblings, and the best part (or worst part for you once it's too late...) of it all is the fact that you don't even have to keep all your little relationships with them a secret when they never once bat an eye on you until recently.
the funny thing is: you didn't even have to try to attract them. it was all them approaching you at random days and getting to know you better, with you, at your lowest point, accepting any medium of attention. at first it was them feeling pity, perceptive to how your siblings chose to focus on them rather than you, but now it's them chasing after you because you're so interesting in every aspect; even if you find yourself average at best compared to your talented siblings.
maybe it's because you bring the normal out in them, or because you display such raw emotions and are an entirely separate being from vigilantism. either way, they find themselves thinking about you more often than their missions and that's harrowing.
and because you're such a pathetic, wet cat, so desperate for love; all the people you hit on develop a savior complex because of you. i don't just mean them finding you cute, or interesting, absolutely not. i mean you're constantly being thrown around like a prince or princess who needs a knight in shining armor to catch them when they fall, except you're constantly being carried in some other's arms even when you can stand on your own two feet.
you just have that special quality in you that makes everyone fall head over heels. it makes them fantasize scenarios of a home life with you; they could provide better than your current ones do, for sure. you'd be spoiled to death with kisses to your face, hands wrapped around your body, and a guarantee that you'll never feel alone or unsafe in a world full of danger that lurks around the corner.
that same quality may have also been your downfall.
wally west doesn't mind training all day to become stronger and faster to save you from every danger that lingers near your presence. hell, he doesn't complain anymore whenever dick assigns him some missions if that means he can pass by your room by the manor as an after-mission reward, loving it when you smile at him with the gentlest quip of your mouth as he hastily wraps you in his arms with the same amount of speed it took to run to your house. wally cherishes watching you in slow-time because he could worship every little part of his darling's expression, quelling the boredom he had for the entire day. he wants to be fast enough for his babe, not only just to impress them but because he wants them to see him as the only reliable individual capable enough of protecting and flirting with you. not everyone can measure up to his speed, no? nobody could keep up with this man's speed and he's known for taking you away whenever you're with someone else just to get a sliver of your time.
starfire's emotions become ablaze and so does her powers every time she notices one of your other sweethearts becoming too touchy with you, unable to comprehend why you're not even in a relationship with her yet. but you're too sweet and you bury yourself in her curly tresses to calm her down. at first that's enough! she doesn't understand the concept of physical affection and the boundaries that come with it as much as others but boy does she crave it when it comes to you. it doesn't help the fact that you're incapable of sometimes denying her affections and letting yourself be constantly kissed by the girl in every part of your face. she's very warm, though, and her curiosity about things foreign to her, paired with you teaching her more about your world, makes starfire adore her sweetheart's willingness and patience; it simply warrants another passionate kiss in the mouth from the pink-haired alien.
roy harper brings out a more rebellious side of you that you never imagine yourself sporting. his experiences in life and his rebellious relationship towards oliver queen, his adoptive father shapes him to who he is now; and he'd be damned if you drown yourself in endless misery like he did. yeah, it doesn't help that lian loves you as much as he does and he thinks you're the perfect match for him, watching you play with his little girl and care for him whenever he's injured does wonders for the fantasies that plays itself in his head, all scenarios of coming home to you after a hard day of work, just to see you and lian greet him the moment he enters your shared house with him, kissing him in the lips, telling him about the wonderfully prepared dinner you and lian whipped up for him, and watching your eyes widen at another bouquet of your favorite flowers he bought home for you. you're not in a relationship with him at all but can't a man just dream?
why dick wonders every damn time one of his friends ditch another one of their hangouts is a question never to be answered. but it's been noticeable these days that he's starting to suspect something wrong at play, especially since he's noticed tension within his comrades, and as a leader he couldn't just simply ignore the tense glares, insults to their being, and the hushed whispers; all pet names, a mantra they're used to calling you.
but dick doesn't take it seriously until it's too late.
that his baby bird long fell off the nest years ago, taken into the arms of whom he thought to be his most trusted comrades, thoroughly loved more than he could've given you. and it's not just one person smitten with you; it's an entire harem of people unwilling to share you just as much as dick who'd soon realize that he shares far more similarities with you; a heartbreaker, yet a caretaker at heart.
it's no wonder why everybody wants you for themselves. it's not only your family who loves to hear your precious laughs and gentle hands; that sets the jealousy ablaze in his heart.
jason never thought that artemis carried a softer version of her. but he's been picking up telltale signs of her donning dangling keychains, all cute doodles of her no doubt, and necklaces he's sure he's seen around the manor at times. it's not her typical style, and she never really found the appeal with cute things like crochet plushies of her; yet the designs are oddly reminiscent to someone he always called his angel. but whenever he tries to bring the topic up, he only receives a snarky reply, a protective hold on her things, and a familiar phrase telling him to mind his business. he isn't aware of how she met you one time after you've nearly been crushed to death by a car accelerating at you, if not for her taking the blunt end of the hit. ever since that day you've been seeing her regularly by alleyways watching over you as your guardian and giving her tokens of appreciation, albeit small, that she keeps as her prized properties; ones nobody has special access to touch. she's not much of a heckler for physical touch, but she occasionally gives you a head scratches and the rare peck to your lips.
jason doesn't like how jealous he is towards her, because of how the would-be stranger treats her and why he can't seem to pinpoint the primal urge to rip those little trinkets from her. sometimes he feels like a man possessed, eyeing the keychains and the random pastel bracelets longer, all warranting the same angered glare artemis reciprocates.
he swore he's seen them before, splayed across the random rooms in the manor, some even being in the library; things he loved to fiddle with whenever he was bored out of his mind. so seeing them being proudly displayed by artemis triggers visceral reactions within him.
but could jason do anything about it when he's part of the reason why your roster consists of your family's comrades? no.
if you couldn't get attention from your family, you'll just have to get it through their affiliations. yeah, some are older than you, but god are you treated like divinity with just how willing they are to kneel upon your feet just to gain a crumb of your attention. even the strongest lay weak whenever you look at them with disappointment or sadness with your wide, captivating eyes.
all the times tim drake would be with teammates, he'd notice how their eyes look at him expectantly, as if waiting for another one to accompany them. at first he ignores it, but the longer their strange behavior persists, he begins opening a case about his close friends.
he soon realizes that conner has a record of mentioning "his cute little darling," and how he'd brag to his other friends about how left his jacket and all his favorite t-shirts in your room and how you're always drowning in his scent— always quiping about just how much it smells like you and how he enjoys wearing all his clothes right after you wear them just to get a whiff of your presence in his life; you being his motivation to fight against crime just so he could see your pretty face and tell him you're proud of him. undeniably, he's the one who spends the longest time with you and he's prideful about it, being the only man with the privilege to touch every part of your skin, wishing to melt against you just so he'd be branded in your body like how your name is the only sweet thing he can taste in his mouth.
it's not only conner, but bart allen would bounce around more often demanding that it's unfair how conner gets everything and how he gets little time with you, with just how often you get thrown around by all your love interests! he'd admit just how cute he finds you whenever you coo about him and play with his messy locks of hair whenever it's his time of the week to visit you right after missions. spending time with him is arguably the most casual part of your life, because he loves to help you with your daily errands despite him complaining about the same tasks to his other teammates... he says it's because you stimulate every part of his brain to find satisfaction in every small action that you do, but it's not only that, rather, he wishes to gain all your praises that you sing for him, never finding boredom in your presence at all.
tim's the first one who pieces the jigsaw puzzle together, but he's thoroughly astounded either way at just how smitten they are with you. it makes him open an entirely different case that's just about you; where he discovers how you're connected with nearly everyone close to him and his siblings.
it makes him wonder what makes you all the more interesting. it's how exactly he spirals into a periodic cluster of events investigating your entire life and drowning himself in work, terabytes of files each analyzed carefully— all about you, your past, and present situation. tim drake never saw a person this admired that much, so much so that online stalking lead to physical stalking.
all your dm's are spammed by countless people, and you don't even take the initiative to reply because you'd be too busy being tossed around by the time the vigilante tracks your location. it's honestly amusing at first but the longer tim become a third perspective to your life, the more he craves your physical presence, just to get a taste of dissecting all the thoughts in your brain. but with just how often their friends fight over you, it'd be hard to rip you away from the clawing hands of all your admirers.
that's why he sets a plan into motion. if he couldn't have you to himself, then he could at least share you with the closest people he had in his life— not with all the strangers who think they know his younger sibling better than he does.
a simple document, many actually, so documents, were all he needed, with printed stacks of a4 paper compiling each and every known fact about you.
all in the name of love, he'd give it out to every member of the family in quick succession.
a hefty reminder to take back what once was theirs.
#🌷... yael's works#series: again & again#yandere dc#yandere dc comics#yandere batfam#yandere wally west#yandere wally west x reader#yandere starfire#yandere roy harper#yandere artemis#yandere conner kent#yandere bart allen#yandere dick grayson#yandere jason todd#yandere tim drake#yandere#yandere x reader#male yandere#female yandere#yandere x gn reader#yandere x male reader#yandere x female reader#yandere x you#yandere x darling#yandere x y/n#platonic yandere#romatic yandere
1K notes
·
View notes
Text
In this silly little head of mine, Jason never saw Bruce and Dick fight. When he came into the manor and Dick felt like he has been replaced, he had the conscience to not scream at Bruce in front of the kid that has no fault on the matter. So screamed and cried because Robin, his mantle and his parents' legacy, was robbed and given to another person without his consent, he threw hands at Bruce for that. But never in front of Jason. Because Jason can't be blamed by Bruce's actions.
And as general rule, Bruce doesn't raise his voice when he's close to kids. Especially his kids, and especially kids that are traumatized, that are still raw from leaving a particularly difficult situation. He took this from Batman, from the very first year, and carried the habit to his sons
But after Jason dies? They're both drowning in blind grief
So when they fight, and they do fight, viciously, Tim is the one that is there to see it. He's the one the see all the ugly bits, the imperfections behind the mask– not only that, I don't think Jason as a kid ever saw his father cry. Bruce knew neither of his sons should ever carry his emotional baggage.
But Tim? Oh, Bruce's grief is a weight that presses upon his chest until he chokes, and the manor is so haunted by Jason's absence, emerged in such deafening silence, that Tim inevitably heard Bruce cry more than once. Until his own chest became so tight he needed to go and comfort Bruce too. This or he was going to go insane. He needed to fix it all, somehow
While Dick and Jason got to make play and silly tricks while in patrol, Tim, Cass, Steph and Damian got a Batman extremely paranoid with protocols, rules and safety measurements. Dealing with Gotham is a serious commitment and is not to be joked about.
So there's that. I'm not saying either Dick or Jason got a perfect version of Bruce. And I'm not saying that, in either case, Bruce is/was a bad father. On the contrary, Batman must always be a good father because of what he represent– what he is as a character
But, yes, being raised by Bruce pre and post Jason's death is a completely different experience
And it got me thinking about how Jason reacts to this after he comes back
#jason todd#tim drake#dick grayson#bruce wayne#stephanie brown#cass cain#damian wayne#me!rambled#me!batfam
3K notes
·
View notes
Text
Some Batfam Headcanons because the brain never stops;
Jason hates being called "Bruce's Son". But he hates it more when hes called "One of Wayne's Orphans/Wayne's child" because fuck you I'm his son-! wait no--
With the exception of Damian, they rarely refer to Bruce as "Dad/Father". Either it didn't occur to them/didn't see the need to/thought it would be strange. But when Dick/Jason/Tim/Cass are tired or injured it might slip out. And Bruce might just crumble a bit at it
Doesn't mean they don't say it to their siblings when Bruce is out of Earshot.
"Dad said you couldn't." "What do you mean Dad said I couldn't use that mug? It's my mug!" "You snooze you lose Timmy Boy-" "Jason don't be an asshole-"
That being said Bruce says "son/daughter/child" at every available opportunity he can after he knows that they have acclimated enough that they wouldn't be uncomfortable/know they can tell Bruce that they don't want to be called that.
First time Bruce called Dick "son" in a way that meant "You are my kid" and not in a "This police officer just called me son with a brow furrow" way Dick grinned and carried on with the conversation. Later he wondered if his dad wouldn't like someone else calling him Son; but Dick thinks about the life he was given because of Bruce and thinks maybe his dad wouldn't mind.
Calling Jason "son" is a hit or miss situation, even before he died. The first time it happened he was confused, he didnt think that was the relationship they had and it made everything change for him. He got frustrated--not angry--with himself and Bruce at this sudden emotional turmoil. Wasn't he just the kid Bruce picked up in an alleyway? Wasn't he just some street rat in bright Robin clothing? (He lets himself believe that he can be Bruce's son. If for only a little while).
Tim cries after Bruce is out of earshot, it would've been a year or so after his parents died and he was adopted. He didn't think he could have been wanted like that again. Even if you think the Drake's had A+ Parenting or not, I don't think he would have gotten a lot of confirmation of being wanted otherwise.
Cass smiles, emotions carefully concealed under her expression. She's grateful she found Bruce and he doesn't mention it if she leans a bit closer in a request for closeness.
Damian doesn't expect anything less, he only appears satisfied. But also relieved that he has gotten the confirmation that yes, Bruce wants and accepts him.
EDIT 10/11; hiii, i have added Duke, Steph & a Bonus in a reblog you can find on the same blog under my 'batfamily headcanons' / 'sore rambles' tag. have fun :)
#these are just my thoughts#they dont have to align with your own!#i am also trying to find a healthy balance between being emotional and being Angry for jason--#he wasnt the angry robin dammit! maybe emotional and a bit more physical but cmon#points at Dick 'Eldest Daughter Syndrome' Grayson#when dick gets older i would imagine that he would resent being called anything in relation to bruce#if its just for his angst phase when he first becomes nightwing or if hes dealing with his own identity/or going through a fight w bruce#i also find the father / son dynamic with dick & damian interesting so i might ponder on that a bit more#also giving tim insecurity issues about where he fits in with the batfam is important to my soul (i have problems)#sore rambles#lotuspowder rambles#batfam#dcu#bruce wayne#dick grayson#jason todd#tim drake#cassandra cain#damian wayne#batfam headcanons#dc headcanon#headcanon#batkids#batkids headcanon#HI IF YOURE LOOKI
3K notes
·
View notes