#p&f! batsibling.

[yanmuffins]

COUGH COUGH p&f reader thinking mabel has a crush on jon (← if he comes along, which he prob did) instead of damian and then getting all (oooh! it's a love trangle! the drama!) 'cause she thinks damian has a crush on mabel, who has a crush on jon, who has a crush on damian! and dipper it's just there- COUGH COUGH

(she fails to notice that jon wants her, not her brother, and mabel wants her brother, not his best friend turned into rival turned into ally, and again, dipper it's just there with his secret crush like, standing in the background with Perry-)

we are literally so close to recreating midsummer night’s dream by shakespeare 😭

tbh, this is a whole mess. i like to think that jon did not come along initially, but as soon as he heard damian mention that he was stuck in this ramshackle lumber town all the way in oregon (we'll go back to that) watching over his sibling and their friends, one of which behaves like a buffoon around them (damian would immediately catch up on dipper having a crush on p&f! reader, but he never outright says that), he just immediately flies there.

and what ensues is jon and dipper passive-aggressively fighting over p&f! reader while they're none the wiser, misinterpreting every interaction among the group for something incorrect. damian is looking at jon and dipper like this 🤨 because it's embarrassing how they're fighting over his sibling, he will be judgemental about it. mabel catches up on jon having a crush on p&f! reader, but since she's obviously team dipper (not just bc he's her family but, also bc pair of pine siblings + pair of wayne siblings, she just thinks it would be so cool!), she might try to get in jon's way by talking to him and diverging his attention somehwere else.

also, kind of unrelated, but i cannot stress enough that p&f! reader and damian are in OREGON, where gravity falls is supposed to be located. we don't really know exactly where gotham is supposed to be, but from what i've seen, the general consensus is that it is somewhere around new york. look at the distance:

i am POSITIVE that when p&f! reader asked bruce if they could spend a week or two at their friends' he assumed it was in metropolis, where p&f! reader used to live. or even in gotham. now imagine his surprise when he gives damian a call for whatever reason, to question him about something vigilante-related or to check up on him (... and reader), and he learns not one, but TWO of his children are almost THREE THOUSAND MILES (or FOUR THOUSAND KILOMETERS) away from home. and both damian and p&f! reader are so casual about it.

alternatively, bruce put a tracker on damian and p&f! reader before they left, did not check it for at least four days and when he finally did check, he just sees the two little red dots all the way in oregon and he's like. no, there must be some mistake. and then he calls damian and his children are indeed at the other side of the country.

he goes to pick them up personally.

[yanmuffins]

speaking of a p&f! reader x gravity falls crossover, nobody can convince me mabel wouldn’t have the biggest crush on damian when she came by to visit the manor. alternatively, p&f! reader just deciding to go and spend a week at her friend’s shack in gravity falls and damian, flabbergasted that father has agreed to this nonsense, decides to burden himself with going with them. for supervision, of course.

it’s… an eventful week.

[yanmuffins]

Unfortunately with the p & f reader. I think you’re missing out so much hijinks.

For example:

- luthor thinking reader is his kid and petitioning a paternity test to try and take custody

-or giving a full scholarship to said reader and internship at LuthorCorp

-the league of assassins coming after reader when everyone is out of the house and reader casually home alone-ing their way to safety. (Damian knew, still has no evidence, has no idea what reader did with the bodies)

-reader building a complete android copy of Alfred so he can go on vacation and have help around the house

-_doing the same to Damian for mild psychological warfare. (He started it)_

-improving the bat gadgets because reader is annoyed when they don’t work as well, and gaslighting the family into thinking Lucius Fox did it

-reader making an artificial Lazarus pit but only for pets.

-winning back to back science fairs, being shown in magazines, and has scholarships galore but the family still doesn’t notice. (Much to Alfred and Damian’s rage)

-it taking Damian being nice to her and trying to be a good sibling to actually get the rest of the family’s attention and to reveal her semi secret genius.

this is brilliant!! all of this!!! love how this leans a bit more into the malicious p&f! reader version rather than oblivious one. few things i want to comment:

i cannot even imagine (i can, actually) how bruce would react to lex luthor just waltzing in and saying hey. what if we, high-profile CEOs of huge companies, go to court over the paternity and custody of your child who i think might be mine? that's absolutely not going to be a media scandal :)

this implies either that:

1) lex luthor has fucked p&f! reader's mother

2) p&f! reader's mother has fucked both lex luthor and bruce wayne. who is she.

or

3) lex luthor is aware he cannot be p&f! reader's bio dad but just decided he wanted to try and steal bruce wayne's kid one day because of their brilliance and potential, and that's such a petty?? absurd thing to do just because???

but unfortunately for luthor (and any other villains), p&f! reader is a nepobaby who can very well work in their father's company if they want or need an internship and that's where bruce is sending them. no such thing as "i want to make my own way in the world" for p&f! reader in this one. bruce will not let them work anywhere else.

(on another note, it's so fun writing about a reader who is filthy rich for a change. a villain comes up to them offering full scholarships and a promising internship in their evil companies but like. their father is literally bruce wayne.)

and like. still on the paternity drama thing. lex luthor can always handle that privately, but why would he? and something like that wouldn't stay under wraps, tbh. lex luthor better sleep with one eye open from then on, he might find wayne enterprises has acquired a sudden interest in absorbing lexcorp…

i think i've answered an ask regarding the league of assassins? not sure, but a "home alone" setting for neglected! reader would make such a good one-shot fic in general (christmas is just around the corner too!). i don't think p&f! reader would kill anyone but they would sure know to defend themselves and immobilize any threats through their gadgets and last-minute traps.

there's two possibilities as to how this could end,

1) batfam comes back from whatever mission/vacation they went on to find the manor in complete disarray and a bunch of unconscious bodies piled up on the garage with p&f! reader just standing there, unphased.

2) batfam comes back from whatever mission/vacation they went on to find the manor just the way they left it, perhaps even a bit more tidy. there's no bodies, the footage has been deleted, damian knows the league of assassins has been in the manor but once again, cannot prove it. he's fuming but has a newfound respect for their blood sibling. roll credits.

realistically, they would be made aware of people raiding the house through its security system and come back running, but ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ it's p&f! reader we're talking about here.

as for the gadgets, i can imagine p&f! reader finding out or figuring out their family are vigilantes except the batfam doesn't know they know, and so they come and go the batcave when no one is looking. improves the gadgets out of pure boredom and leaves. except they do it in a way that is so subtle that the batfam take a certain time to consider there's someone messing with their stuff. it's like that one prank where you just keep replacing a person's pen before it runs out of ink.

"reader making an artificial Lazarus pit but only for pets."

that's essentialy pet sematary by stephen king, and we all know how that went. evil little undead pets running around the manor trying to murder the batfam because... p&f! reader was feeling bored and unhinged, i suppose.

you're right about damian being one of the reasons why the batfam starts paying attention to p&f! reader. alfred has been trying to get them to notice their cast-aside sibling for a while now, but damian being close to reader (trying to bust them or just hanging out) makes it impossible to ignore them. first, by associating with damian, and second by being a gifted child who has been pulling dangerous, insane and impossible stunts that deny all logic.

but looking back, it should be obvious. their room is filled with trophies, medals, rosettes, newspaper/magazine cutouts speaking of their achievements, were featured on the metropolis as well as gotham news multiple times, and pretty much everyone seems to know what they're up to. and yeah. "they feel pretty bad" is an understatement.

damian noticed, though. he might gotten into trouble himself for participating in some of those stunts (which he thinks is unfair), but at least he can brag about being a decent sibling and triumphantly say "shame on you" to everyone else but alfred.

[yanmuffins]

asks 3.

more asks i'm answering in a bulk about p&f! reader! there's two for vampire! reader at the end of the post, though.

@amethystjellyfish

jon better keep an eye out for selener.

ok, to be fair, damian knows the family's gotten pretty overbearing at this point. father was not at all pleased to discover the stunts they (damian included) pulled over the course of the summer. and he, too, knows that his sibling is feeling cooped up with all the excessive supervision. but.

but.

just who does jon think he is to try and take their sibling away from their home? he was supposed to be damian's friend, and it is for the sake of their friendship he'll overlook such an absurd suggestion and not tell his family on the condition jon never says anything like that again. let's just hope tim wasn't listening, else he would rat them all out since he (and everyone else in the family) has zero issues with kicking jon out the manor if he keeps putting those ideas in p&f! reader's mind. poor jon (╥ ω ╥)

@akatsukki677

the referenced scene!

one of my favorite candace moments.

also, why is this so in-character for them? i am begging someone please draw this.

NOT DAMIAN SECRETLY LIKING DUCKY MOMO!!! you are all so big-brained. you know, dick would ask p&f! reader about it next time they bumped into each other. and he will find out about damian's love for ducky momo one way or another (not that reader would snitch, but dick is dick. he would notice).

i don't much to add, but here are some more gems (jason being cute with perry, though, i love it sm):

i have a sinking feeling that if jason somehow came to know of perry's secret identity as agent p before everyone else he would have so much fun gaslighting tim. yeah. he's a platypus. just a platypus, tim. chill. go to sleep.

... then he fistbumps perry when tim's not looking.

p&f! reader and damian bringing in cryptids and magical creatures into the manor like it's another ordinary day seems like something that would absolutely happen, yes.

the horse with fins is just what they salvaged from their very succesful trip to atlantis, they'll find horsie a good home eventually. and for every unlikely creature and plant they stumble upon, they just blame it on damian. they're his thing, after all! i don't think it would happen often, but damian still wouldn't enjoy getting scolded for animals that aren't his. nevermind that he may or may not be connivent in finding those animals, sneaking them into the house and finding them proper homes. that's not relevant.

trying to blame it on reader will just get him incredulous looks from his family. no, reader did not find a dodo bird, that's impossible. there's no way they could do that.

@amethystjellyfish

not only is he trying to convince p&f! reader that their pet platypus is secretly evil and plotting tim's demise specifically, he's trying to convince the entire manor. he has a powerpoint presentation. he has flashcards. he has become damian 2.0 but instead of reader's, he's trying to bust the platypus. obviously, p&f! reader thinks it's silly. damian straight up laughs at tim. bruce is too tired to even sigh.

"it's just a platypus, tim, they don't do much", they say. fools, the lot of them. there's something off about that semiaquatic egg-laying mammal and HE'S GOING TO PROVE IT.

yup, he's p&f reader's isabella! and yes, i think besides damian and jon, they very much have a group of friends from metropolis. damian wouldn't get along with them too well, at least at first, but jon integrates fine into the friend group.

@randomlyappearingartist

good question! i guess we'll just have to chalk it up to p&f! reader's cartoonish luck that they haven't come across any actual evil villains who want to user their genius for their own nefarious purposes.

it would be interesting to just see a bunch of villains arguing and fighting between each other to offer p&f! reader an internship or kidnap them so they can build evil contraptions. but, in the end, reader never gets kidnapped, never becomes aware there are villains out there wanting to scout them, because the villains keep thwarting each other before they even reach p&f! reader. so something like this:

evil goon: hey kid, kid! i gotta talk...

evil goon from another villain: immediately tackles him to the ground and they start fighting. reader is none the wiser.

one of my favorite gags is people who shouldn't have guns pulling out guns at dramatically appropriate times. and it makes sense! i mean, p&f! reader is bruce's kid, so them being prepared for every possible situation just feels natural.

although... i reckon they'd be more creative than just straight up having a gun. probably a more creative non-lethal item of their own making that was meant as a weapon but could absolutely be used as such, which would also be so, so funny.

like this:

vampire! reader try to hide her vampirism (impossible)

the asks i've gotten about reader being terrible at hiding that she's a vampire in the manor (and the implications that her family is kinda brushing it off and accepting her excuses) are so great. yeah, sure, reader fell and that's why she's covered in copious amount of blood, stephen king's carrie-style. it does make them very suspicious but like.... what else would it be?

and honestly, tim and steph have no idea how relieved they should be that reader is staring at crime scene photos when there's two human beings full of blood right there with her. i'm surprised no one has sent in a bruce scenario where she's being completely erratic and he's just sitting there, perplexed, unsure on how to proceed

[yanmuffins]

what happened to p&f reader's parents? is their mom or other dad (it's DC, everything it's possible) dead? or they just away? Like, they're in military and in a really long mission? or they just kinda flug reader at bruce?

or secret fifth option, p&f reader other parent it's Dr.Doofenshmirtz, and the reason reader got taken away was because bruce kinda of found out about the villany thingy he got going on and "said hell nah" and then proceeded to neglect the shit outta p&f reader

second paragraph is WILD.

hmm... to be honest, i'm not very sure myself. i'm pretty sure i'll stick with p&f! reader's mother being a single mom who died and that is the reason they now have to live with bruce. whether bruce already knew p&f! reader existed or found out after they are plopped at his door is yet to be decided.

tim, after being woken up by damian at 10 a.m. in the morning (he went to sleep at 4 a.m.), making a stop to grab his coffee, looking at the construction site in the backyard from the kitchen window:

"wow, didn't know i could lucid dream. that's awesome. okay, back to bed. good thing that platypus is not around."

[yanmuffins]

Hello I've been obsessed with your p&f au especially the singing aspect! Can you imagine when the yans actually become aware of everything reader, damian and Jon have been up to they actually start to dive into everything. They see videos of them all over like the gitchee gitchee goo song, the traveling the world songs, the love handle reunion songs! I can see them being surprised about damian singing as well lol! Also I was looking at the mom it's your birthday song can you imagine damian singing a version like that to bruce in private only for reader to make a concert for it! Sorry I'm rambling I just love your concept! This is how you gonna know it's me!🪷 gonna send another ask as well!

damian gets in trouble for participating in some of reader's adventures without alerting anyone (he tried. like 98% of times), which he thinks is both unfair and nonsensical, because he now has to deal with his other siblings making fun of him for partaking in all those musical numbers, and that's punishment enough.

it only adds to nail down how much they missed of their life. there's plenty of non-dangerous things they did during summer, like being a one-hit wonder with a cheesy romance song (by the way, aren't they too young to be making cheesy romance songs?) and all other pefomances you did for fun. they could have been there for that! and each instance they spot damian in the backgroud or beside reader rubs salt on the wound. at least he was keeping an eye on them, but they'll be bitter about that for a while.

damian has really gotten out of his shell since p&f! reader came to the manor, though. him? singing a song publicly for bruce with reader? this is a moment that needs to be captured in 4k professional cameras. hopefully that footage gets magically corrupted too.

i love this idea! i don't think p&f! reader would immediately brag about their adventures because they're pretty much grounded, forbidden from getting up to their usual antics (without supervision, at least, which damian no longer counts as), but eventually they'd pull out those memory books to illustrate how they've always done what they do with no problem, which has bruce sitting there in utter silence, surprised they're still, somehow, alive.

and the thought of reader spending a week or two in gravity falls with dipper and mabel before coming to the wayne manor is so funny. they're never going back there again after bruce sees a picture of them next to a monstrous-looking cryptid, but they're free to share their past experiences. if it makes them feel better. tim is lowkey jealous of their little sibling for having such an interesting life, and maybe could be tempted to cover for p&f! reader, damian and jon as long as they agree he can go have fun with them. but that's a big maybe.

[yanmuffins]

imagine p&f reader being so oblivious to jon's crush on them that they think jon have a crush on Damian instead

p&f! reader: i thought the two of you— a boy, a boy, alone in the city of love… i thought romance was a foregone conclusion!

jon: breaks his pencil from gripping it too hard

reader: jon— jon! are you okay?

jon: peachy. 🙃

[yanmuffins]

Imagine if in the DC vs. Vampires universe, Reader dies shortly before Damian is even there? Dick having a lot of guilt and that's partly why he wants to turn Damian. So this baby sibling doesn't die. But Phineas Reader, Damian, Perry, and Doofenshmirts accidentally hop on over and Vampire King Dick becomes yandere? Especially when he finds out that, in a timeline you survived, his alternate neglected Reader.

Vampire Dick tries to bite us and turn us into a vampire. This registers to us as a murder attempt and we recognize the behavior in our Dick when he goes yandere? Reader just going, "He's suddenly nice to me. He's manipulating me to kill me, just like he did in the other dimension!" And Tim, who's babysitting Reader this time, flips and asks what we're talking about. "Oh. It was a really weird dimension. Dick was the Vampire King, slowly gaining power by turning all his friends and teammates into vampires, saving the Bat Family for last. But he immediately bashed your skull in after he ripped out Bruce's heart. He killed Cass and Steph and turned Damian, but the kid escaped. He tried to turn Jason, but Jason refused and the transformation didn't happen, killing him. Duke and Damian were leading the resistance against the vampires. So I helped make an invention that reversed vampirism."

Dick calls Reader cute enough to eat and reader is suddenly using aerosolized garlic like pepper spray.

i'm doing good, thank you!! ◝(ᵔᵕᵔ)◜

warning: spoilers for dc vs vampires universe.

so, assuming there was a reader in this universe who was not neglected and they're dead because of non-vampire-apocalypse-related reasons, p&f! reader's arrival causes quite the reaction. terrible timing, with the vampire quandary and all, but they're not unhappy. however, the most they can do is help p&f! reader and damian be safe and have someone with them at all times.

but i don't think dick would immediately try to turn reader. too unpredictable, plus he'd risk blowing his cover. so he wait. kills the batfam, he tries to turn reader and both damians since, well, there was an extra one so why not? but they manage to escape with only the og vampire damian being turned. and vampire king dick is so sad :(( why do none of his little siblings want to hang out and overthrow humanity with him?? :((((((

in his head he's thinking that since his alternate version couldn't appreciate his sibling (and how negligent do you have to be to not notice their inventions on bruce's backyard?), he doesn't deserve them. they should just stay here, in this world, let him turn them into a vampire so they can stay by his side! that's obviously the universe giving him a second chance.

so, when they manage to defeat him and return to their dimension, reader (and damian!) are following dick around, watching out for any signs of vampirism. tim recounts what reader told him about the vampires, and dick gets a good laugh out of it. come on, he would never do any of that!

but when dick's yandere-ness starts showing, reader will avoid him like the plague. he'll catch them eyeing him suspiciously while whispering to damian in a corner of the manor. he might not be a vampire, but sometimes there's something about him that's really unsettling...

[yanmuffins]

what if the dimension of batman vs vampires p&f reader and damian accidentally stumbles upon is vampire!reader dimension? oh, and they arrive after vampire!reader is killed and turned into a vampire

the drama if p&f reader looks the exact same as vampire!reader (honestly, i see them as two different people since p&f reader is the same age as Damian and vampire!reader seems to be dick's age), since bruce looks at them and can't quite remember If vampire!reader looked like this when they were little

they all looking at p&f reader and damian being kids and wondering If vampire!reader were like that at this age, but then realizing that they don't have memories of vampire!reader like that

the despair, the anxiety, the guilt they fell

Why didn't they noticed vampire!reader sooner? why didn't they acknowledged them? why why why why

now vampire!reader it's nowhere to be found, and they could be in danger (they are), hell, for all they know they could be dead! (they kinda are)

and p&f reader and damian slowly backing away as they watch these alternate versions of their family descend into madness

let's just hope that version of the batfam finds vampire!reader fast and don't become desperate enough to end up becoming yanderes for p&f reader too

context &. context.

interesting!!!

i think vampire! reader and p&f! reader are basically just different versions of the same person. p&f! reader is gender neutral so they could be whatever gender you want them to be, while vampire! reader is female. also, you are correct, vampire! reader is older. while p&f! reader is around a year older than damian and came to the manor after him (being around 10 when they came to the manor and 14 in the fic), vampire! reader is around 21-years-old, closer to jason in age, and came to the manor somwhere between dick leaving for the teen titans and bruce adopting jason.

so, yes, p&f! reader is not only younger, but was the last one to arrive at the manor in their reality, and they had a pretty good, healthy childhood before that. not to mention bruce already had damian, so the concept of a biological child wasn't entirely alien to him, and they already had their hands full with him. the familial bonds ate tight-knit, lives are too busy, bruce already has to deal with his exceptional children and since reader is so normal, they're kinda overlooked.

and although there are similarities in the way and reasons both readers are neglected, i think it's worse with vampire! reader. she's around 7 when she comes to the manor, the circumstances around it being extremely shady (it was a scandal), and she's there before anyone except dick, whom she has shallow interactions with. from then on comes jason and the following children, and she just has to watch her father (and older brother) make time for everyone but her.

anyway, appearence-wise, p&f! reader and vampire! essentially look the same, or at least extremely similiar. but here's the thing: vampire reader's bruce does remember what his daughter looked like when she was around p&f! reader's age. and that's what makes him crumble, because vampire! reader looked abstemious and somber from a yong age, which is a far cry from her younger, alternate-dimension version.

that fact hits him the hardest, but dick notices it too. his birdie looked like a mini-adult from the day she came to the manor, and seeing p&f! reader he just wishes he could have actually bothered to be there for her. jason notices it the most because he was the one closest to reader before joker killed him, as she was the only one in the manor around his age. the others, though?

they have no idea. mostly because they weren't there when vampire! reader was a kid, but there are some memories; of her welcoming them home, little acts of affection, trying to get close to them. and they took it for granted. they started noticing her lately, yeah, but as it seems it had been a bit too late.

vampire! au damian would feel kinda jealous of the sibling bond p&f! reader and damian share, it would stir conflict between the two damians which i think could be funny amidst the angst (if you ignore that they're both kinda terrified of this batfam spiraling). all in all, i think bruce thinks of how shit it is to have a child missing so he would make sure to help send both p&f! reader and damian home safely. he's got his own kid to take care of and good lord, that's going too big of a mess for him to even worry about the two intruders in his dimension.

[yanmuffins]

asks 2.

context.

here are some more asks i'm replying to in a bulk about phineas and ferb reader!!

my favorite part in dc. vs vampires is when reader comes together with damian and damian to build a silly machine that un-vampifies people in like half a day so they can defeat the vampire king. it is canon.

@amethystjellyfish

perry really is reader's number #1 stan. they're his family, reader's had him since he was a small platypus baby!

he does his best to keep reader safe, which is why he doesn't like the batfam much. he keeps it professional on the rare occasions they go on missions together, but that's it. he hates how dismissive of reader they are in the beginning, and he hates them later on when they star showering them with attention because they found out about their inventions.

not tired, anon! i love seeing people enjoy my concepts and interact with them!! ദ്ദി(˵ •̀ ᴗ - ˵ ) ✧

and i'm sure this has happened. more than once, actually. the power of coincidence is strong with reader. the life-saving laser beam comes from a situation involving reader's latest machine they built and tested with the help of jon.

unfortunately, one of his lasers richochets on the machine during testing, not only causing it to save batfamily's life, caught in a dangerous situation in a completely different location, but also destroys the machine so there's nothing to link it to reader.

ah, well. they'll just have to keep looking.

reader, seeing them run past her: oh! there's perry :)

i love how we have established tim is terrified of this platypus. nevermind the other pets in the manor, it's the platypus with its googly eyes that drives him insane. they don't get it, he got up to drink water at 3 a.m. and the thing was just there, looking at him. menacingly.

jason would though. meanwhile, perry is wishing he could just go back to metropolis. he didn't have to deal with reader's siblings in metropolis. he doesn't get enough hazard pay for this.

hm... good question!

i like to think that, much like with phineas and ferb, luck is on reader's side most of the time, so i don't see reader getting injured by their own inventions.

but, let's suppose they do: it's a nice sunday afternoon, the batfam has decided to gather around the living room and hang out, watch a movie, lots of popcorn and soda. they don't have to think about criminals or fighting, tim and damian are bickering, jason is around, peace reigns the manor.

until they hear an explosion. they run to the garage only to find reader on the floor, unconscious, bleeding, and an assortment of destroyed metal components to a machine they can't decipher. damian doesn't even feel good about reader finally being busted.

later, when reader is back home, awake and out of risk but with a bandage around their head and their leg in a cast, they're in for the biggest (and probably first) scolding of their entire lives. reader tries to play it off. it wasn't that big of a deal, they're fine, aren't they? and they're genuinely optimistic about it. but the entire family is talking over each other at first, until bruce signals for everyone to shut up and leave the room. he has a very serious talk with reader, and makes it very clear they're not to come near a toolbox ever again.

but he understands. it's partly his fault for not being attentive. he won't make that mistake again.

ofc reader is really upset. dick comes next, then stephanie, then cass, then duke, then barbara and they all try to convince reader in a much more amiable tone that hey, it's fine. who needs to do all that whacky stuff to have fun? just hang out with us. they can get another hobby, and this time they can make it a family thing! how's that sound? not fun? don't be like that... they're sure reader will come around.

tim is pretty much the only one who congratulates them for being awesome pulling all those stunts, one per day, it's impressive. but now it's time to step back a bit. who knows? try being careful and bruce will let you work with a welding tool again. one day. maybe.

damian and jason's reactions are more similar to bruce's. in other circumstances, damian is on reader's side and helps them sneak around to continue their shenanigans, but in the case of reader getting hurt he just wants them to not do that. any of that. ever again. and jason has to hold himself back not to snap and ask them what the hell were they thinking?! they could have died! he ends up just telling them to quit it. they're just a kid who shouldn't be messing around with that sort of stuff.

anon, i wouldn't go as far as say he'd use venom against them, but he's bit batfam before. as stated, he does not dig their vibe at all!

anon, that's a great idea! though i think p&f! reader is much too motivated by the creative process and experience that their inventions bring more than just willing them to come to life.

they have the power to create whatever they want, but what's the fun of it? what about hte process? the building? the friends they make along the way? the memories? i think reader would find the ring awesome at first, but the novelty would wear of in less than a week.

anon...

because i dig the idea of reader being friends with dipper and mabel. reader talks about their crazy inventions, and loves hearing about all the cryptids they came across during vacation.

reader invites the twins to the manor, they share their most recent summer memories. reader talks about that one time they built and drove a massive monster truck with their brother damian, but jason only comes into the room in time to hear about dipper and mable talk about the weirdmaggedon. he has several question marks around his head. aren't those kids a a little too old to be making shit up? or maybe... no, there's no way. or is there? no... he would have heard about this... but weirder things have happened. but what if...

@randomlyappearingartist

you are so right. to be honest, i don't even think the batfam would even know of his existence, since he's pretty much a very minor villain acting in metropolis. after perry joins the league, or in the rare occasion of dr. doof teaming up with another minor gotham villian like condiment man, is when they get to know he exists.

and since perry seems to have him under control, they don't even acknowledge the guy.

i love love love this sm!

they assume it's just flash mobs. it's got to be. flash mobs with really weird themes, like an entire musical number dedicated to the squirrels in damian's pants. that was strange. bruce patrolling in the middle of the night and this new crime lord just burst into a song with a band and hired back dancers, because it's apparently a new trend a minor villain in metropolis started.

and what about that one time dick took damian (and reader) to the library and some guy just started singing about how he doesn't have rhythm? and damian just started playing a trumpet? and reader started singing? i mean, it was a bop and he started dancing, but it was weird anyway.

but now i'm thinking of damian and reader singing the "summer" song together (he sings the "it's noticeably warmer" and that's it) though! wholesome.

@lazyandannoyng

not annoying at all! you're good ⸜(˙꒳​˙ )

i have this little idea in my head that reader doesn't take the wayne name when find out bruce is their dad and move to gotham, and bruce is pretty secretive about this new kid of his for purely privacy and safety reasons. so when reader does their networking, it's often not obvious they're a wayne. not sure if this will make it into the fic, but it really resonates with this concept!

it's also funny to think that a lot of people don't even know reader and the waynes are related. even if they do know reader is related to the batfam, nobody really talks about them by name (just "your sibling"), and all of those little details like never asking about where the gloves came from (because why would he) or the misunderstandings where one party means one thing and the other assumes it's another (dick has many siblings! too many!) just end up helping reader not get caught. and i just think that's neat.

[yanmuffins]

It's hilarious you made Tim be paranoid of Perry. And when the reveal of Perry being Agent P. He is going to go, I told you so to Jason.

Also, let Dr. Doofenshimertz be friends with MC (or Reader, I usually call them MC). Like, just invention buddies. Let him be a good dad friend to MC, like look at how he raised his child, Vanessa. Let MC be doted on. Also, let MC be friend with Vanessa.

the lore just creates itself, with the asks! tim being paranoid of perry is making it into the fic. he's going to feel so vindicated (maybe even more vindicated than damian when reader gets busted) when the truth about perry comes out. funny thing is, he's still the littlest bit suspicious of perry after that. he's still convinced the platypus doesn't like him and is out to get him specifically. which is too bad, because he seems to get along just fine with reader, damian and jason.

i mean, dr. doofenshmirtz is huge no-no as a friend for reader because he's a villain. a subpar villain, but still a villain! i could see reader perhaps being friendly with vanessa, maybe they go to the same school, but it would unfortunately be a short-lived friendship when the batfam intervenes. damian didn't like vanessa and he sure didn't like her dad, so he's glad that his family finally caught wind of reader's bad companions and cut them off their life (hopefully with just a warning to stay away from reader...). they don't need such bad influences in their life.

on another note,

reader after they come back from dc. vs vampires universe:

(warning: spoilers for the dc. vs vampires comic)

honestly, i'm conflicted on how tht would go because the possibilities are endless. i like the idea of reader not really existing in that reality, so when they pop into existence mid-chaos, it's very... interesting. nobody knows who they are, and not in a "oh sorry sib i forgot about you for a sec" way, they really don't know who they are! and batman couldn't be more exhausted at this point, now he has an extra child from another dimension who's stuck here while he's dealing with figuring out what this whole vampire mayhem is about.

now, whether they arrive in dc vs. vampires while batman is still alive trying to figure out who the vampire king is or after dick reveals himself and is on his way to conquer the world is difficult to decide. realistically, reader would just go back to their universe in both cases as soon as they realized they're not in their gotham. but what if their dimension-traveling device breaks and they're stuck for a while before they manage to fix it?

bonus points if damian got dragged into this bullshit and gets to meet his vampire version who's trying to defeat dick. that would be a mess of unheard of proportions.

"damian (x2), i know what we're gonna do today!" and it's defeating the vampire king.

that, or damian and reader adopt the "no interfering with other dimensions" approach and mind their own business getting back home. just a moment to see that oh, the situation here is way above our pay grade, let's leave asap.

but tbh, i think both reader and damian would be horrified by this reality and so very relieved when they get home safely, in time for dinner. nobody believes them, sure, but dick does notice they're following him around and looking suspiciously at him at lot. and he's baffled, do they really think he's a vampire? come on. he heard about kids having over-active imaginations, but that's just too much.

[yanmuffins]

Tim having a time out: I swear the platypus is a spy for the Russian government who wants to steal our secrets.

Jason petting perry: this little guy doesn't do much.

jason getting attached to perry the platypus is my new obsession, thank u for putting this thought in my head.

massive scary dude walking around with a platypus around the manor. perry has bit damian (they have since made up though!), tim and even dick so major points if jason is the only one that can handle him and hold him without fuss. bonus major points if he's holding perry while dressed as red hood.

[yanmuffins]

If dr. doofenshmirtz exists in ur universe, just imagine a scenario where he’s in the middle of a fight with Perry, but somehow he comes across reader and instead of continuing to fight perry… he just sits down next to reader and babbles on with them about inventions.

And Perry reluctantly lets it happen, cause reader is neglected and dr. doofenshmirtz isn’t the worst person in the world. It’d actually probably be good enrichment for reader and him to just sit in a room and invent!

-🪼

isn't that the plot of phineas and ferb across the 2nd dimension?

careful, reader might unleash evil-but-competent doctor doofenshmirtz into their earth and need to use all of their past inventions to fight off an interdimensional robot invasion!

but aww, that's actually a cute idea. they meet doof by crashing in his building and then they help him finish his dimensional travel-inator. good thing damian isn't with them, because he would have kicked this pharmacist's butt in a second. it surely is enrichment, provided this choice to help a villain open a portal to another earth doesn't backfire!

(somehow reader ends up in dc vs vampires)

[yanmuffins]

Damian's Stacy is Tim, who is convinced the Platypus has something against him in particular (he doesn't, Tim is just delulu)

as if damian is trying to convince everyone that reader’s inventions are, in fact, the real deal wasn’t absurd enough, now tim is convinced the platypus (“what platypus?”, some members of the household say, since they’ve yet to come across perry) waddling around is actually evil and secretly out to get him. obviously, nobody believes him. what’s next? tim’s gonna say perry the platypus is a government secret agent who also works with the justice league? ridiculous. maybe he needs to turn off the screens and sleep a little.

things are weird at the wayne manor.

[yanmuffins]

Hiii, srry if this idea is rlly weird but even though the family alr knows that the reader is an inventor bc they caught the reader by accident, but I thought it would be rlly funny if the reason how they found out was because reader accidentally revealed that they were inventor (they thought the bat fam alr knew)

Like one day, the reader sees Dick training and says:

"Wow, that looks as hard as the time I made a gigantic robot clown ( ˶ˆᗜˆ˵ ) !!"

"Since you what."

Or Bruce finally decided to check what the reader wants him to sign this time before asking: why do you want me to sign this?

"for my shrink machine !!" The reader said casually.

"Your what?"

"My shrink machine! ദ്ദി(•̀ ᗜ <)" The reader says as they casually pointed at their backyard, having tons of equipment and tools on the ground.

"..."

see, but that's the thing, anon: reader is very open about their invetions, they're saying stuff like that all the time!

this concept relies on haphazard events coming together to disappear with reader's inventions and get them out of trouble, but it also relies on them being neglected by the batfam and, therefore, completely overlooked! like even if they say they're gonna build a giant robot or a shrink gun, the batfam just thinks you're a completely normal teenager with a lot of hobbies. like someone else already said, it's confimation bias.

like, cool. reader is The Normalest person in the family, who happens to like carpenting. and robotics. they got a medal at school for building a remote control toy car and they built a pretty awesome treehouse in the backyard. but it doesn't go beyond that. like i said, batfam doesn't pay much attention to them.

you're right about reader assuming their family, or at least their dad, is aware of what they're doing. so it goes a bit like this:

dick: hey, damian! wanna go to the arcade?

damian: i do not have the time, grayson. i will be keeping an eye on (Y/N) today, to make sure their schemes do not go unpunished.

dick: 🙂? alright. nice to see you two getting along.

reader: we're building a anti-gravity machine! wanna see?

dick, getting a message on his phone: uh... sorry, guys, something just came up. another day, for sure. you kids have fun!

[yanmuffins]

asks.

there are quite a few asks on my ask box so i'm reply to some of them collectively on this post!

unfortunately he's alone in that. jon could have been his stacy but he's got a crush on reader and has too much fun with their invetions. damian thinks he's a traitor.

@megasweetbones

"perry and alfred used to be secret agents of the british royal family"

now that's a very old platypus.

i like the idea of tim being the most unsettled by the platypus out of everyone. tripping him might or might not have been on purpose. we'll never know! but after a while, tim is just conviced the platypus' got some weird business about it. typical wayne paranoia, sure, but he swears there's something about that weird little amalgamation of animals he can't really pinpoint. he swears he's looking at him weird. and he swears he's scaring him on purpose, appearing out of nowhere.

"calm your tits, tim. it's just a platypus." jason says, "they don't do much."

but tim really can't help glaring at perry the very normal regular domesticated platypus whenever he's seen in reader's arms.

@randomlyappearingartist

alfred absolutely knows about the invetions. no he will not tell bruce about them. he sees bruce and the others barely noticing reader exists, how dismissive they are, and he's like "i'll tell them to ask their father for permission first. if master bruce doesn't notice the legally binding papers or the outlandish gadgets around the manor then that's his problem, honestly."

the most he does is very cryptically allude to it, in hopes the family will take notice of reader. as expected, it doesn't work. he just lets reader do whatever they want as long as they consult their father firts and promise to be careful.

the thing about phineas! reader is that they are a regular teenager (if you take away the gifted genius who can build rocketships to the moon in a single day part) who's just in it for the fun. creating all those crazy gadgets and invetions, letting their creativity flow, having fun with their friends, spending every summer day like it's the last one before they go back to school.

if perry got them a job at the justice league, i think reader would deny it. they're not particularly interested in vigilantism or heroism for that matter. they might consider it after high school is over, but for now? all they want to do is be a teenager. not a very conventional teenager, but a teenager nonetheless.

and tbh it's more of a psychological thing, not being able to build. it's like all of those ideas are bottling up inside their head, going to waste, with them being unable to do anything about it.

well, it's not like they can't do anything about it, but having the batfam limiting what they can and cannot do, watching over their shoulder, isn't exactly providing them the enrichment they need.

but since damian and jon are determined to help, reader doesn't have to worry about that for long!

reader is actually a citizen of metropolis! or was, since they're now in gotham. a big adjustment.

the meeting between jon and reader happens thanks to damian. he's fully expecting jon to be an ally in busting his new sibling. he's complained about them countless times before, to the point jon's tired of hearing about them.

but he actually meets them and, hey, they're super cute and super cool! it's kind of amazing they come up with their inventions so fast. so he goes from reluctantly humoring damian to actively helping reader. maybe even with his own powers. damian can do nothing but shake his head and sigh wearily. jon is an idiot.

the scene in question anon is referencing, at 0:16.

the concept is so funny, anon, but hm... i wonder if jon wouldn't just straight up tell reader about it. he wants to be included, so i don't think it'd be long before he's using his powers to help reader with their inventions.

it is at times like these the batfam has to thank the universe reader is chaotic good and would never turn to villainy. because then damian can enjoy having a super awesome sibling who gives him all sorts of elaborate weapons for him to practice with!

nevermind that he's asking for these just so he can bring the weapons you built to bruce and prove once and for all you're not the harmless kid they think you are, but that's before he realizes the weapons are kinda good. and he kinda wants to keep them, which wouldn't be possible if he handed them over to bruce.

so he'll keep these a secret. just these.