#1:1 water vinegar

[anime-scarves]

Carrots pickled with a regular pickling brine, schezuan peppercorns, and black peppercorns go so hard. Also really interesting that the black peppercorns absorb the pickling liquid and become soft and much milder while taking on all the other flavors too.

[zhooniyaa-waagosh]

I made larb and a cucumber salad for dinner and it came out amazing but all the chopping took so fucking long that my entire body is aching.

[cuntypatrick]

hey! buddy! you can wait to put them away :) just be sure to run it in the dryer when ur ready, but it only needs like 20 mins to remove wrinkles.

pros of putting laundry away immediately after it is dry

less wrinkles

yayyyy organization

it is done

cons

right now you have to do it. Right fucking now. nightmare world hell on earth torture realm pain and suffering and carnage

[semtitulo]

vinegar in a spray bottle... save me vinegar in a spray bottle <- me trying to clean my apartment

[this-is-my-main-i-follow-from]

Grains that make spirits, they are so cool

Rye: makes rye

Rice: makes sake

Corn: makes bourbon

Barley: makes scotch

[vamptastic]

in other coming back from spring break news i made macaroni before leaving and in a truly tragic state of affairs i forgot to put the drain cover on before straining the noodles and a noodle got caught sort of under the drain where i couldn't see it and grew a PRODIGIOUS amount of mold for one (1) single noodle in the week i was gone. Very fun to clean

[kcalsquette]

How To: Boost Your Metabolism :D

(as someone who lost 25 lbs in 2.5 months)

1. B6 & B12 boosts metabolism (you can take B6 without food, but B12 absorbs better with food) - These vitamins give you more energy and improve nerve health :D

2. Coffee/Energy Drinks/Caffeine Pills (duh) - Anything with caffeine will keep you alert, focused, and lose those pounds! Be aware of those high sugar/cal monsters or those fatty coffee drinks.

3. Apple Cider Vinegar - I find it helps with burning food/ making me less hungry. You can get these in pill form or dilute it

4. Warm lemon water/Teas - Very low cals, better water intake, debloats you. Again be careful of the sugar contents

5. Exercise like pilates, running/walking, weights, yoga, etc. - Easy way to gain muscle/lose fat- Basically resistance training

7. Fasting - Boosts your metabolism and overall health

8. Proteins!! Protein + gaining muscle will increase metabolism. As you st⭐️rve, still keep eating those proteins!!

9. Sleep!! Getting less than 6 hours of sleep will decrease your metabolism

Let me know if I should add anything :)

[chefchatter]

Toasted Ham and Cheese Croissant Sandwiches: A Gourmet Guide

Ingredients

Meat

• 8 slices Deli ham, good

Produce

• 1 Micro greens

Condiments

• 4 tbsp Honey

• 3 tbsp Mustard, whole grain

Baking & Spices

• 1 tbsp Everything bagel seasoning

• 2 tbsp Mustard seeds, yellow

• 2 tbsp Mustard seeds, brown

• 1 small pinch Salt

Oils & Vinegars

• 1/4 cup Apple cider vinegar

Bread & Baked Goods

• 4 Croissants, large

Dairy

• 1 (6 oz) wedge roth's grand cru cheese, wedge

• 4 tbsp Fig butter

Liquids

• 2 tbsp Water

[ariestrxsh]

shy!sub!chris x babysitter!reader

˚₊ · »-♡→ content warning: smut, mommy kink, age gap (Chris is 22 & reader is 28), innocence corruption, virginity loss, size kink, oral (m & f!receiving)

˚₊ · »-♡→ summary: chris runs into his old childhood babysitter, and their innocent reunion takes a turn when the two can't deny the sexual tension between them.

If the age gap or the fact that the reader used to babysit Chris bothers you, then don't read this fic ! The ones that get it, get it, and the ones that don't, dont.

Part 1 | Part 2 (final part)

Baby Sitter (part two)

"I have your shirt, Chris. See? Can't even tell it had coffee on it," you remarked, handing over his white tee as you stood on his doorstep.

"Wow, that's amazing," Chris gasped, holding it up and searching for the remnants of the mocha he'd spilled down the front of it, but there was no evidence of it having happened at all. "Thanks!" Chris replied, tossing the shirt over his shoulder.

"Dishsoap and white vinegar," you casually mentioned. "Good to know," Chris responded, leaning up against the door frame. "Whatcha got there?" He motioned towards the brown, paper bag you had clutched in your arm.

"I got you a couple of apartment warming gifts!" You announced, pulling out a fancy bottle of avocado oil from it. He gave you an inquisitive look as you passed it off. "You cook with it," you giggled, sensing his confusion.

"Right," Chris replied, pointing the bottle at you as if you said the words that were sitting at the tip of his tongue. "Thank you!" He added. "That's not all," you relayed, grabbing another fancy bottle from your shopping bag.

"Oh, I know what to do with this one," he chuckled, taking the rosé from you. "Yeah, I got you a big bottle. So you could share it with someone if you wanted," you suggested, nibbling on your bottom lip and flickering your gaze between his eyes and his mouth. He shrugged his shoulder.

"I-I don't know who I would share it with," he admitted, holding a bottle in each hand as he read the label on the avocado oil. You jokingly looked around as if you were about to volunteer a stranger from off the street, and then finally said, "I'm free. Maybe we could split it over dinner."

"Oh. Cool. Yeah. I don't have anything to eat here, though," he continued staring at the label, still completely oblivious to the fact that you were hoping he'd invite you into his apartment.

"Don't worry, Chris. I remember my first apartment. You're probably mostly living off of ramen and takeout. I figured you might like a home-cooked meal," you replied, gesturing towards your paper bag.

"Oh, that's nice of you," he said, staring at you like a deer in the headlights. "So. Can I come in, baby?" You finally asked, cocking your head to the side and batting your lashes in his direction.

"Yes. Please. Of course," he eagerly nodded, finally stepping to the side to let you in. He silently kicked himself as he slowly realized that's what you'd been alluding to with your body language the whole time you'd been standing on his door step.

You didn't mind, though. You found his social awkwardness endearing.

You entered his apartment, placing the bag on his marble countertop. "Hey, you cleaned. It looks really nice in here," you observed, smiling in his direction as you started to take off your fur coat.

"Thanks for noticing," Chris nervously replied, his eyes dropping to the low neck line of your powder blue top and the short hem of your tight, black skirt.

"Is spaghetti still your favorite, baby?" You asked him, slinging your coat over the back of a chair and pulling out the contents of the brown paper bag.

"It is. I haven't had homemade spaghetti in such a long time," Chris responded, unable to conceal his excitement, a smile spreading across his lips.

You rummaged through his cabinets, retrieving a pot, filling it with water, and bringing it to a boil on the stove. "Would you grab us some glasses for the wine?" You requested from the blue-eyed boy.

"Will red solo cups work?" Chris asked, opening his cabinet. You laughed. "Look in the bag. I came prepared," you responded, uncorking the wine. He reached into the bag, revealing two neatly wrapped glasses.

"You thought of everything, didn't you?" He asked, placing them delicately on the counter side-by-side. "The only thing I forgot is a condom. But I don't mind if you don't mind," you leaned in, softly purring into his ear. Chris nearly fell to his knees at your words.

"I-I don't mind," he stammered, wiping his sweaty hands off on the front of his sweatpants. You smirked, pouring a big glass for each of you.

"You ever had rosé before?" You inquired, corking the bottle back up. "No, I've never had wine before," he admitted, swirling the pink liquid around in the clear glass. You held your glass up, and he followed your lead.

"To all the firsts you're going to experience tonight," you seductively said as your glass softly clinked against his. He swallowed hard, his palms beginning to sweat again. You took a swig of your wine while you held your gaze on Chris, waiting for his reaction.

He hesitantly took a drink, but he was pleasantly surprised when he did. "It's sweet," he commented, nodding his head in approval.

"You like it?" You asked. "I do, actually," he told you before taking another sip. "You shaved," you observed, running the back of your hand over his soft face.

"I did. You noticed," he quietly replied, reaching up and touching his flushed cheek as a smile spread across his lips. He loved how attentive you were, pointing out all the things that most people missed.

"You know, I've missed you these past few days. I haven't been able to stop thinking about you," you admitted, taking his glass and setting it down on the counter next to yours. You placed your hand on his chest and leaned in to kiss his neck.

He bit back a moan, gently rolling his hips forward and pressing his erection against your hip. "I haven't been able to stop thinking about you either," he returned the sentiment, his shakey hand wandering to the small of your back.

You bit down and gently sucked on his soft flesh right above his collarbone as he melted into you. "You know, I brought dessert, too," you told him, your voice taking on a suggestive tone.

"What did you bring?" He eagerly asked, trying to glimpse into your bag as you kissed his neck. "It's not in there, silly boy," you teased him, lightly tapping the tip of his nose with your finger. "Where is it?" He smirked at you.

"It's right.." you started to say, gently grabbing his wrist. "Here," you cooed, putting his hand up your skirt. You rested his palm on your heat, his fingers grazing your clit as his breath caught in his throat.

"You're not wearing any panties," he observed in a low whisper as he looked into your eyes, feeling the warmth radiating off of you. "Oops. I guess I forgot them," you smugly responded, your lips curling into a devious smile.

He started slowly running his middle finger up and down your slit. "It's getting so wet," he whimpered, his breath growing shallow.

"Are you excited to eat it?" You purred, running your manicured fingernails along his jawline. He nodded and dropped to his knees in front of you, leaning in to taste you, but you stopped him.

"No, baby. Not yet. You're gonna spoil your dinner," you taunted him, running your thumb softly along his jawline. "But I wanna eat my dessert now, mommy" he pleaded with you, staring up your skirt. You shook your head.

"Just one little taste.." he whispered, rubbing your clit in small circles. "Christopher Owen," you scolded him, lightly swatting him in the face and gently tightening your grip on his jaw. "Be a good boy and listen to mommy."

His desperate, blue eyes gazed back at yours, and he slowly nodded as he stood back up. He was completely under your spell.

He wiped some sweat from his brow with the back of his trembling hand and picked up his glass of wine, lifting it to his lips and taking a sip to distract himself. He felt the buzz coming on, but he couldn't tell if it was the alcohol or if it was all the blood rushing to his dick that was leaving him feeling lightheaded.

"You wanna know the trick to keeping your noodles from sticking together?" You asked him as you turned your attention back to the now boiling pot. He could barely focus on what you were saying over how hard you made him, so he just weakly nodded in response.

"Add salt to the water right before you put the pasta in," you replied, gathering all your seasonings. You added a few shakes of salt into the rumbling, hot water, and then you emptied the box of angel hair noodles into it.

"Then we wanna keep stirring it around every couple of minutes until it's soft enough to eat," you taught him, taking your wooden spoon and agitating the pot. All he could think about was how you weren't wearing any underwear beneath your short skirt.

"Here. Take this. You keep stirring while I prepare the meat," you directed him, your fingertips lightly brushing against his as you passed off the utensil to him. He felt a current of energy passing through his body as you grazed him, and you felt it, too.

He did as you said, stirring the pasta as you splashed a bit of avocado oil into the hot pan on the front left burner and started to brown the ground beef. You shook some salt, pepper, garlic powder, onion powder, and Italian seasoning into the meat and started cooking it.

His blue eyes fell to your figure as he wet his lips. He was almost certain you were going to try to sleep with him tonight, and while he was excited to finally lose his virginity, especially to you, he was nervous to lose it, especially to you.

His heart pounded in his ears, and thoughts raced through his mind, imagining how you'd taste, what you'd sound like, what you'd feel like.

"Did you hear me?" You asked, nudging him in the arm. "Huh?" He replied, realizing your lips had been moving the whole time, but he'd been too busy having dirty thoughts about you to register what you were saying.

You peered down at the tent in his sweats and smirked back up at him. "Whatcha thinking about?" You cooed as if you hadn't just teased him relentlessly while standing in his kitchen without any panties on.

He blushed and let out a laugh. "I'm sorry. I get hard so easily," Chris nervously apologized, nibbling on his lip and trying to hide his erection. "I don't mind," you smirked at him.

The two of you finished making food, made your plates, and sat down to eat. You teased him throughout dinner, running your foot up his leg and making flirtatious comments as you made eyes at him in the glow of the candlelight.

You poured yourself a second glass of wine and then another one. Before you knew it, you and Chris had nearly finished off the bottle, and the sexual tension between the two of you was growing.

"You don't mind if I stay the night here, do you? I've had a lot of wine," you asked him, slightly slurring your words as you twirled your noodles around your fork. "No, I don't mind at all," he replied nervously, taking the last bite of his spaghetti.

"You still get nightmares?" You wondered, taking a sip of your wine. He let out a small chuckle. "What's so funny?" You asked.

"I hate to break this to you, but I never really had an issue with nightmares, not since I was really little," he nervously confessed, fidgeting with the base of his glass.

"What? What about all those bad dreams you used to have when I babysat you?" You inquired, looking puzzled. "I was faking," he said, biting back a grin.

"Christopher," you replied sharply, glaring in his direction and slugging him in the arm. There was a bit of real anger behind your tone.

You'd spent many nights worrying about Chris and his bad dreams. So much to the point that it had cut into your own sleep on many occasions and caused issues in your relationship, which didn't matter in hindsight, considering how much an asshole your boyfriend at the time was.

Chris, on the other hand, loved how genuinely you cared for him, and the way you'd always drop everything to lull him back to sleep with your warm, inviting voice and the soft caress of your hand against his cheek.

You couldn't stay mad at him, though. In a lot of ways you found it endearing how much he wanted to be around you, but you were still trying to wrap your head around the fact that an eleven-year-old had come up with such an elaborate scheme.

"I know, I know. I just wanted you in my bed," he smirked. "Naughty boy," you rolled your eyes. "Maybe I'll pretend to have one tonight, so you'll have to come to bed with me and help me back to sleep," he lustfully responded. "Yeah? I bet I know how to tire you out," you flirted back.

His cock strained at the cotton fabric of his pants as you stared into his eyes, wetting your lips and parting your legs to give Chris another glimpse at what you had between them. He nibbled on his bottom lip, his sparkling eyes traveling to your glistening folds.

"Can I eat my dessert now, mommy?" He sweetly asked, but you slammed your legs shut and gave him a mischevious look.

Now what? He thought to himself, wondering what hoop you were going to make him jump through next before giving him what he wanted.

"I want mine first," you snickered, kneeling down in front of him and tugging at his sweats. He swallowed hard, looking down at you wide-eyed, but he listened, lifting his hips and allowing you to pull them down just enough for his cock to spring out of them.

You could sense how tense and nervous he was, literally sitting on the edge of his seat and his breath growing shallow and irregular.

"You're so hard," you observed, wrapping your fingers around his thickness and stroking it up and down. "All for me?" You cooed, watching a bit of precum gather at his tip.

"Yes, mommy," Chris said in a gravelly whisper. "All for you," he eagerly nodded, waiting in anticipation for what you were about to do next.

You leaned in, planting a kiss on his swollen head and slurping up the clear liquid from his slit. His cock twitched in response. You felt his whole body relax beneath you.

He slowly sunk back into his chair as he gave himself over to the wonderful feeling of your tongue fluttering around on all his sensitive nerve endings. "No one's ever done that to me before," he admitted in a timid voice as you wrapped your lips around his swollen tip and gently suckled on it.

"You like it, don't you?" You cooed before licking a long stripe from the base of his shaft all the way up his length and slipping him back into your mouth again.

"Mhmm," he whined, nodding as his hands found their way to your shoulders. He gently dug his fingernails into your back as you combined the two techniques, swirling your tongue around on his tip while you created a bit of suction.

He had always fantasized about getting head, but he didn't know it could feel this magical. He adored every subtle motion as you learned what he liked best.

His hand tenderly grazed the back of your head as he silently encouraged you to take more of him. You smirked, sliding down his length, feeling every vein with your tongue and swallowing him inch-by-inch until your nose was pressed up against his lower abdomen.

"Oh, yes. Just like that mommy," Chris pathetically whimpered as you hummed against the base of his cock. He slid down further into his chair, his eyes locked on the way your lips stretched around him.

You started bobbing your head up and down, eliciting a few soft gagging noises from you. The sound of you lightly choking on his dick drove Chris crazy.

He brushed a stray hair out of your face and placed both his hands on your ears as he tossed his head back and let out a strangled moan. He lifted his hips, driving his cock further into your throat. You could feel him quivering against your tongue as you slid back up his length, pulling your mouth off of him with a pop.

His lips curled into a smile as he peered back down at you. "Mommy. I was so close," he whimpered, his chest rising and falling with his labored breath.

"I know, pretty boy, but we gotta clean the kitchen before you can cum," you taunted him, climbing to your feet.

He licked his pouty lips as he let out a defeated sigh and pulled his sweats back on over his hard cock. He followed you to the kitchen, dragging his feet and silently throwing a fit about not being able to finish.

You put away the leftovers while Chris did the dishes, the whole time his cock aching at the absence of your mouth.

His erection was pinned between his stomach and the lip of the counter, and as he squeezed the excess water out of the sponge, he found himself rutting his hips forward and gently grinding against the marble finish.

You hoisted yourself up onto the countertop beside him and whispered in his ear, "Easy. You better not cum in your pants or mommy's gonna be really mad at you."

A pained whine drifted to your ears as he caught his bottom lip between his teeth and nodded. He went back to the dishes, trying to ignore his raging boner and trying to keep himself from rubbing up against the furniture like a dog in heat.

As he finished up drying off the last plate, you hiked up your skirt and flashed him your pussy again. His eyes widened, and his tongue darted out and slithered over his lips.

"Please, mommy. Can I have my dessert now?" He begged you, his voice saturated with lust and his eyebrows furrowed together in a look of desperation. "Yes, pretty boy. Come eat it," you nodded, spreading your labia open with two of your fingers.

He kneeled down in front of you, nervously leaning in to close the distance between his mouth and your cunt. You felt his warm breath first and the tickle of his smooth cheek grazing the inside of your thigh. He planted a delicate kiss on your pussy, causing you to grip his soft hair and gently tug on it.

He moaned against your sensitive bundle of nerves before gripping your legs and pulling you closer to him. Your mouth curled into a smile as he placed his hands on the insides of your thighs, pushing them as far apart as they could go. He gently nuzzled your clit before his pretty blue eyes flicked backed up at you, silently asking for your validation.

"Good boy. You're doing a perfect job. You're a natural," you praised him, running your fingers through his brown locks. That was all he needed to boost his confidence.

His kisses became more deliberate and more passionate as he drooled all over your cunt, periodically slurping up the mixture of his saliva and your wetness. You squirmed and squealed beneath him, his fingers digging into the soft flesh of your thighs while he kissed, licked, and sucked on your sensitive area.

"Mommy, you taste so sweet," he complimented you, coming up for air for a moment. He lapped away, his tongue swirling around on your delicate folds as you started to tremble beneath him. "Chris.." you hissed, your body tightening.

Your head fell back against the wooden cabinet behind you as your eyes rolled to the back of your head. He couldn't tell if he was wine drunk or pussy drunk, but a warm, fuzzy sensation overpowered him as he lost himself in you, forgetting the boundary between his mouth and your heat.

He almost couldn't believe that he was making you feel that good, but the way your body was reacting to him seemed genuine. A few loud moans fell from your lips as you shivered, finishing onto his velvet tongue.

"Wow," you whispered, panting as you tried to regain your composure. "Was that your first time eating pussy?" You asked him, still gently combing through his hair with your fingers. He peered up at you, timidly nodding.

"That was the best head I've ever gotten, Chris. Your tongue is every girl's dream," you giggled, reaching for the hem of Chris' shirt. He loved the way you showered him in compliments. "Please. Take this off, and put your big cock in me."

"Big?" He whispered, looking into your eyes. "What? Does that surprise you, baby? That you're big?" You asked him, helping him take off his shirt. He slowly nodded, pulling his dick back out of his sweats and peering down at it as he lined it up with your entrance.

"You gotta be gentle with me at first because of how big it is, okay?" You cooed, biting back a smirk. You knew you could handle it, but you knew your words were like music to his ears.

"Okay," he replied, gently tapping it against your clit before slipping the tip into your hole. It felt better than he ever could have imagined. He gingerly rocked his hips back and forth, allowing you to get used to his size as he firmly placed his hands on your hips.

His jaw fell slack, and a look of pleasure seeped into his expression. It took everything in him to go slow and gentle, trying so hard not to get carried away. A couple faint whines unfurled from your lips, and Chris immediately stopped, glancing up at you.

"Are you okay? Am I hurting you?" He sweetly asked, concerned that the noises you were making were out of pain. "No, baby. I'm making those sounds because it feels really good. Go deeper," you whispered, tenderly cradling his face.

"Yes, mommy," he whimpered, fucking you a little deeper and a little faster. He leaned in to kiss you, your lips locking with his as you pushed your tongue into his mouth. His shaky hand slid up the hem of your shirt, and he gently squeezed your breast, noting to himself that you also hadn't worn a bra.

The soft clicking sounds of your mouth filled the space between you. You could taste the rosé mixed with the flavor of your pussy on his tongue as you pulled him deeper into the kiss. He felt completely intoxicated - drunk off of the wine and drunk off of you.

Once he pulled back, his eyes wandered between your legs. He took in the lovely sight of your pussy expanding around his girth.

"Harder, baby. Fuck me harder," you ordered him, resting your hand on his chest and feeling his sped up heart rate. You heard his breath quicken as he picked up the pace.

He pushed up your pretty, blue top, exposing your tits. He was immediately enamored with them, gently pinching your nipples between his fingers and listening to the pretty sounds that left your mouth as he played with you.

"Suck on them, baby," you directed him, and he nodded, leaning in to take each one into his mouth as he squeezed each one in each hand.

"Such a good boy," you purred, petting the back of his head and massaging his scalp with your manicured nails. He whimpered against your breast, the vibration sending pleasure through your nipple and causing you to clench around his cock.

"Faster, Chris. Faster," you demanded, feeling yourself getting closer and closer. "Fuck," Chris muttered, stopping abruptly. You felt his cock pulsating inside of you. He was afraid if he moved at all, it would send him over the edge before he could finish you off.

"What's the matter, baby? Hmm? Why'd you stop?" You cooed, cradling his head and pushing his face into your breasts. "So close, mommy," he whimpered, holding his body still and using every last ounce of willpower to keep from drilling into you and letting his orgasm run its course.

"Fuck. I can't," he whined, pulling out of you and waiting for the feeling to subside. "It's okay, baby. Yes, you can. Take a breather," you encouraged him, placing a hand on either side of his head with his nose just inches from yours as you peered into his beautiful, blue eyes. He nodded, taking a few deep breaths.

After a few moments of fending off his climax, he slid it back in, letting it go in all the way before pulling out again. He watched in awe at the way you stretched so perfectly around him as he plunged into you with his thick cock over and over again.

"I wanna turn you around so bad," he whispered, peering into your eyes as he pulled out again. You hoisted yourself off of the counter, spinning around, and propping your leg up on the edge of the marble cuntertop.

"Give it to me, pretty boy. Fuck me as hard and as fast as you can," you instructed him. "Yes, mommy," he answered, pushing up your tight skirt and slipping his length into your cunt from the back. He loved being told what to do by you.

"Good boy," you moaned as he started pistoning his hips forward, driving his cock deep into your drooling pussy as he reached around and grabbed a handful of your breast.

You could feel his hot breath against your ear and hear his pretty moans as he fucked you with all his strength. "Oh, Chris.. so big.. gonna cum.. gonna cum all over your big cock," you babbled as you shook violently.

Your orgasm hit your system, feeling like a series of explosions going off in your body. You tightly gripped the edge of the cool, marble counter as you clenched around him again, finishing all over his rod. Your juices flowed down the sides of his dick as he railed you, extracting your climax from you.

"Good boy. You made me cum all over it," you breathlessly whimpered, trying to catch your breath. A satisfied smile started in the corner of his lip as he realized he'd made you finish. "Fill me up, Chris," you demanded, letting your head fall back against his chest as he pounded into you.

He couldn't take it anymore. The feeling of your pussy convulsing around him and your words encouraging him to shoot his load inside of you, it was all too much.

He delivered a few more powerful thrusts, jerking his hips forward and triggering his own orgasm. His strokes slowed to a stop as he filled you to the brim, pumping you full of his liquid.

Pleasure coursed through him, leaving him feeling completely drained after, but in the best way, like he'd just finished running a marathon and had won first place.

He finally pulled out of you, nearly collapsing onto the floor and having to steady himself on the counter as all the blood rushed back to the rest of his body.

You spun back around, hoisting yourself back up onto the marble counter and spreading your legs and your puffy lips open for him again.

"Look at how much you came," you smirked, putting yourself on display for him as his thick, sticky fluid leaked from your cunt. He focused his blurry vision on the way it gushed out of you every time you clenched around nothing.

"Oh my god. It looks perfect," he responded, admiring the mess he made before slumping over and nestling his nose in the crook of your neck. A wave of embarrassment overcame him, wondering if he'd done a good job or if he was too awkward or shy about it all.

"Was I o-okay?" He nervously asked, his voice becoming small and shakey. "Chris. I can't feel my legs," you chuckled back in response. "Is th-that a good thing?" He timidly asked. "It's a great thing, Chris. You give the best dick. Best I've ever had in my life."

Your praises had blood rushing back to his cock, and it sprung to life once more.

"Oh, don't tell me that. You're gonna make me wanna give it to you again," Chris whispered as you felt his erection poking you in the thigh. You chuckled, surprised by his stamina.

"Give it to me again, baby. I promise. I can take it."

taglist: @nomusic-nodreams @sturnzsblog @pottersfia @sturnlsstuff @bsturnzmtts @sturniolo-girl @theyluvme-2315 @jassturn @brookiecookie-18 @maggot3647 @slut4chriztopher @strnlslvr @sleepysturniolo @lvrsturniolo @sofieeeeex @imjusthereforthesturniolosmut @matts-myloverboy @witchofthehour @slutforsturniolosss @whoahoahoahoahoa @ilovechrissturniolosposts @smt-obsessed @sturnioloxlver @that1fangirll @moonlightsturns @hrtz4alex2211 @verstarkey @sp3ncerslvt @sturniolo-munch44 @jakewebberswifee @ssturniolooss @thenickgurl @sturniolo-fann @sst7niolo @babysturniolo @chestersturniolo @riowritesitall @camzeecorner @mattsturnixlo @annedebeijer @scorpioosworld @mattlover-00 @sweetlikesug4rvenom @m11rx @sturniolocharms @mickelodeon-2003 @sigmarizzler1 @chrislova

[reality-detective]

Tired of over-the-counter cough syrups?

Check out this easy DIY recipe for homemade cough relief!

This past week our daughter developed a pretty nasty cough. I took these pantry staples to create a homemade cough syrup that was spicy enough to kick any cough. Not even 2 days later her cough was completely gone and she had no signs of ever being sick.

Ingredients:

2 Tablespoons raw unfiltered honey (local if possible) 🍯

2 Tablespoons apple cider vinegar 🍎

2 Tablespoons filtered water 💧

1/4 Teaspoon cayenne pepper 🌶

1/4 Teaspoon ground ginger 🫚

Instructions:

Combine everything and mix completely.

This is a little spicy, so test it out yourself before giving it to your kids. 🤔

[lowcaloriekate]

High Protein Low Carb Low Fat Meal/Snack Options

(w/ estimated kcal)

Breakfasts

1. Scrambled egg whites (6 large) with spinach, tomatoes, and mushrooms: 179 kcal, 28g protein, 5g carbs, 0g fat

2. Protein shake (1 scoop whey isolate with unsweetened almond milk): 120 kcal, 25g protein, 2g carbs, 1g fat

3. Egg white omelet (6 whites) with lean turkey, onions, and peppers: 187 kcal, 34g protein, 7g carbs, 1g fat

4. Scrambled egg whites (6 large) with spinach and mushrooms: 119 kcal, 22g protein, 4g carbs, 0g fat

5. Low-fat Greek yogurt (1 cup, plain, unsweetened) with 1/4 cup blueberries: 121 kcal, 20g protein, 11g carbs, 0g fat

6. Protein pancakes (1 scoop whey isolate + 1/4 cup egg whites + cinnamon): 120 kcal, 25g protein, 3g carbs, 1g fat

7. Scrambled egg whites (6 large) with 2 oz lean ham: 142 kcal, 27g protein, 1g carbs, 2g fat

Lunches

1. Grilled tilapia (6 oz) with cauliflower rice (1 cup): 204 kcal, 38g protein, 5g carbs, 2g fat

2. Grilled shrimp (6 oz) with zucchini noodles (1 cup): 180 kcal, 32g protein, 4g carbs, 1g fat

3. Seared salmon (6 oz) with mixed greens (2 cups with balsamic vinegar): 310 kcal, 42g protein, 6g carbs, 12g fat

4. Grilled cod (6 oz) with roasted green beans (1 cup): 169 kcal, 32g protein, 7g carbs, 1g fat

5. Grilled mahi-mahi (6 oz) with roasted asparagus (1 cup): 195 kcal, 39g protein, 5g carbs, 2g fat

6. Grilled turkey patty (6 oz) with steamed green beans (1 cup): 211 kcal, 36g protein, 7g carbs, 8g fat

7. Grilled shrimp (6 oz) with steamed broccoli (1 cup): 215 kcal, 35g protein, 11g carbs, 1g fat

Dinners

1. Turkey burger (6 oz, no bun) with steamed broccoli (1 cup): 235 kcal, 39g protein, 11g carbs, 8g fat

2. Grilled chicken breast (6 oz) with steamed asparagus (1 cup): 307 kcal, 56g protein, 5g carbs, 6g fat

3. Grilled tofu (6 oz) with steamed Brussels sprouts (1 cup): 196 kcal, 19g protein, 11g carbs, 7g fat

4. Grilled chicken breast (6 oz) with steamed zucchini (1 cup): 300 kcal, 55g protein, 4g carbs, 6g fat

5. Grilled chicken tenderloins (6 oz) with steamed cauliflower rice (1 cup): 245 kcal, 42g protein, 5g carbs, 5g fat

6. Grilled halibut (6 oz) with steamed spinach (1 cup): 221 kcal, 41g protein, 7g carbs, 2g fat

7. Grilled chicken breast (6 oz) with zucchini noodles (1 cup): 300 kcal, 55g protein, 4g carbs, 6g fat

Snacks

1. Grilled chicken breast (4 oz) with cucumber slices (1/2 cup): 195 kcal, 35g protein, 2g carbs, 3g fat

2. Turkey breast slices (3 oz) with bell pepper slices (1 medium): 114 kcal, 21g protein, 7g carbs, 1g fat

3. Beef jerky (3 oz, low-sodium): 240 kcal, 36g protein, 4g carbs, 1g fat

4. Cottage cheese (1 cup, low-fat): 163 kcal, 28g protein, 6g carbs, 2g fat

5. Boiled egg whites (4 large): 68 kcal, 14g protein, 1g carbs, 0g fat

6. Low-fat Greek yogurt (1 cup): 100 kcal, 20g protein, 6g carbs, 0g fat

7. Tuna (1 small can, in water) with celery sticks (1 cup): 104 kcal, 21g protein, 3g carbs, 1g fat

8. Cottage cheese (1/2 cup, low-fat): 82 kcal, 14g protein, 3g carbs, 1g fat

9. Hard-boiled eggs (2 large): 136 kcal, 12g protein, 1g carbs, 10g fat

[amethystsoda]

Dungeon Meshi/Delicious in Dungeon Recipe masterlist - part 1

(project started in July 2023 and ongoing! I'll continue updating as the recipes are posted — all recipes so far were created before they appeared in the anime) part 2

Recipe 1 - Huge Scorpion and Walking Mushroom Hotpot

comparison pics / process video / video and recipe commentary

- full list continued after the jump -

Recipe 2 - Man Eating Plant Tart

gelatin hell process 1 + process 2 / failed tart process video / comparison pics of redo / redo video with quiche

Recipe 3 - Roast Basilisk

brining / kfc super shy meme / oven setup and finished bird / planning for recipe 4 / process video

Recipe 4 - Mandrake and Basilisk Omelet (Omelette)

comparison pics / process video

Recipe 5 - Mandrake Kakiage and Giant Bat Tempura

Planning for recipe 5 and 6 / comparison pics / process video

Recipe 6 - Living Armor Soup

comparison pics and commentary on process / process video

Recipe 7 - Golem Field Fresh Veggie Lunch

planning for 7 and 8 / cooking research / process video / comparison pics

Recipe 8 - Freshly Stolen Vegetables and Chicken Stewed with Cabbage Accompanied by Plundered Bread

comparison pics / process video

Recipe 9 - Naturally Delicious Treasure Insect Snacks

planning 1 + planning 2 / coinbug carving process 1 + process 2 / gem making test / comparison pics / process video

Recipe 10 - Special Interfaith Holy Water and Exorcism Sorbet

planning / process / process video / comparison pics / second comparison with anime

Recipe 11 - Court Cuisine: Full Course Meal

planning 1 + planning 2 / comparison pics / process video

Recipe 12 - Boiled Mimic and Kelpie Oil Soap

planning / comparison pics / process video

Recipe 13 - Porridge made from Grain that was just Lying Around

comparison pics and thoughts / process video

Recipe 14 - Giant Parasite from a Giant Kraken Grilled Plain and Kabayaki-Style

eel defrosting / comparison pics and process / process video

Recipe 15 - Farcille Raspberry Tart

planning for tart / ganache process / final pictures / process video

Recipe 16 - Grilled Kelpie

planning / comparison pics / process video

Recipe 17 - Tentacles with Vinegar + Tentacle and Kelpie stew, prepared with Undine

planning / comparison pics / process video / (fullmetal alchemist stew meme)

BONUS - All the DunMeshi meals so far edit

Recipe 18 - Tentacle Gnocchi

planning / comparison pics / process video

Recipe 19 - “Let’s Cutlet the Red Dragon”

original katsudon attempt from 2023 / katsu excitement / comparison pics / process video / anime comparison

Recipe 20 - Red Dragon Meal

planning 1 / planning 2 / oxtail broth update / pickled daikon recipe / comparison pics / process video: part 1 and part 2 / recipe post

Recipe 21 - Lost Red Dragon "Ham" + Orc Medicine Toast

comparison pics / process video

Recipe 22 - Travel Rations Set for Adventurers

planning / comparison pics / process video

Recipe 23 - Jack-o'-Lantern Potage and Sauteed Dryad Buds with Cheese

planning / pumpkin bowl face / comparison pics / process video / blooper reel

BONUS - (dunmeshi zine chef contributor announcement!!!)

Recipe 24 - Eisbein-Style Cockatrice and Dryad Bud Sauerkraut

planning / sauerkraut poll / comparison pics / process video

BONUS - DunMeshi tiktok milestones!

[bunjywunjy]

recipe box: IT'S ALL BEANS TO ME (greek-style beans)

this is a recipe that requires a day or so of prep, but you do basically just do stuff to beans and then wander away for hours in each step so it's not a very involved recipe.

NOTE: yeah, you do actually need to rehydrate and then cook the beans for this one, you can't really used canned beans without it turning weird and soupy.

YOU WILL NEED:

a pound of dried corona beans (YUUUGE)

3 bay leaves

1 large red onion, diced

4 cloves garlic, minced

1 15-oz can tomato sauce

2 tbsp tomato paste

3 tbsp honey

1/4 cup dried dill

1/2 cup olive oil

1/4 cup red wine vinegar

1 tbsp salt

1 tsp black pepper

cayenne pepper to taste

1 container feta cheese

PRE-COOKING THE BEANS

so before you actually start the recipe, you'll need to rehydrate the beans overnight and then cook them through. to rehydrate, just put the beans in a bowl, cover with water, and leave overnight up to about a day and a half. (you WILL need a bigger bowl than you thinks- those fuckers are going to plump back up to their entire original size!) refrigerate the beans after this step if you're not planning on cooking them for a bit.

once the beans are hydrated, put them in a big pot with water, the bay leaves, and a little salt. cover and bring to a boil, then lower the temperature and simmer for 60 to 90 minutes, until the beans are soft but not mushy. like bean al-dente.

the oven should be preheated to 350 F for the next step- when the beans have cooked, drain them completely and pick out the bay leaves. put them in a large oven-safe casserole or baking dish, and add the rest of the ingredients (minus the feta). mix it all together, level the surface with a spatula for even cooking, and wipe as much of the spatter off the sides of the dish as you can so it doesn't burn onto there, then pop it in the oven until the top is a deeply red-brown gorgeous crust, 60-80 minutes.

dump the feta on top in an even layer, and serve!

[cravefoodie]

🌮🎉 Birria Enchiladas 🎉🌮

Ingredients:

For the Birria:

2 lbs beef chuck roast, cut into chunks

1 large onion, chopped

4 garlic cloves, minced

2 cups beef broth

2 dried guajillo chiles, stems and seeds removed

2 dried ancho chiles, stems and seeds removed

1 chipotle pepper in adobo sauce

1 tablespoon apple cider vinegar

1 teaspoon ground cumin

1 teaspoon dried oregano

1 teaspoon paprika

Salt and pepper to taste

For the Enchiladas:

12 corn tortillas

2 cups shredded cheese (such as Monterey Jack or cheddar)

1/2 cup chopped fresh cilantro

1/2 cup chopped red onion

Lime wedges for serving

Instructions:

Prepare the Birria:

In a large pot or Dutch oven, add the beef chunks, chopped onion, and minced garlic. Pour in the beef broth.

In a separate saucepan, add the dried guajillo and ancho chiles. Cover with water and bring to a boil. Once boiling, remove from heat and let them soak for about 15 minutes until they soften.

Transfer the softened chiles, chipotle pepper, apple cider vinegar, cumin, oregano, and paprika to a blender. Blend until smooth.

Pour the blended sauce into the pot with the beef. Season with salt and pepper.

Cover and simmer on low heat for about 3 hours, or until the beef is tender and easily shreds with a fork.

Assemble the Enchiladas:

Preheat your oven to 350°F (175°C).

Warm the corn tortillas in a dry skillet or microwave to make them pliable.

Fill each tortilla with shredded birria beef and a sprinkle of cheese. Roll up the tortillas and place them seam-side down in a baking dish.

Pour the remaining birria sauce over the top of the enchiladas. Sprinkle with more cheese.

Bake the Enchiladas:

Bake in the preheated oven for about 20 minutes, or until the cheese is melted and bubbly.

Serve:

Garnish the enchiladas with chopped fresh cilantro and red onion.

Serve with lime wedges on the side.

Enjoy your delicious Birria Enchiladas! 🌮💥

[the-merry-otter]

Potage From Meat

(15th century Italian)

"Take lean meat and let it boil, then cut it up finely and cook it again for half an hour in rich juice, having first added bread crumbs. Add a little pepper and saffron.

When it has cooled a little, add beaten eggs, grated cheese, parsley, marjoram, finely chopped mint with a little verjuice. Blend them all together in a pot, stirring them slowly with a spoon so that they do not form a ball. The same may be done with livers and lungs."

2 1/3 lb stewbeef 4 cups water "Rich juice": 31 oz (3 cans) concentrated beef broth 1 1/2 cups dry bread crumbs 3/4 tsp pepper 8 threads saffron 5 eggs 1 1/2 cups grated cheese (~ 7 oz) 3/8 cups chopped parsley 3/4 tsp dried or 1 tsp fresh marjoram 1 1/2 tbsp chopped fresh mint verjuice: 3 tbsp wine vinegar 1 tsp salt (to taste)

"Bring meat and water to a boil and cook 10 minutes; take meat out and cut up small; put back in water with broth, bread crumbs, pepper, and saffron. Simmer 1/2 hour over low flame, being careful that it does not stick. Mix in remaining ingredients; cook, stirring frequently, for about 5 minutes. This makes about 10 cups.

This is a rather meat-rich version; it also works with as little as half this much meat."

Source: Cariadoc's Miscallany

Otter's notes:

I used two beef stock cubes which was fine.

I wasn’t sure how small the meat should be cut, so I did pieces of a couple centimetres diameter. This worked well in my opinion.

I don’t enjoy skimming the scum off water I’ve boiled meat in, so I used fresh water for the second part. I did not find the result lacking in flavour.

Cariadoc isn't kidding about it sticking. Make sure to stir every 2-4 minutes. Stuck doesn't necessarily mean burned though.

It’s sooooo so tasty, can recommend

[theambitiouswoman]

🌿 My Daily Drink Stack + Ingredients & Benefits 🌿

Warm Water with Lemon 🍋

Ingredients: Warm water + juice of half a lemon

Benefits: Kickstarts digestion and hydrates after sleep.

Apple Cider Vinegar Shot 🥃

Ingredients: 1 tbsp apple cider vinegar + 1 splash of apple juice + a pinch of cayenne (optional) + a pinch of cinnamon

Benefits: Balances blood sugar and supports gut health.

Green Juice 🥬

Ingredients: Cucumber, celery, spinach, parsley, green apple, lemon, and ginger

Benefits: Packed with chlorophyll and antioxidants to energize and detoxify.

Carrot Juice 🥕

Ingredients: Fresh carrots, a small piece of ginger, and a splash of orange juice

Benefits: High in beta-carotene for glowing skin and eye health.

Coconut Water 🥥

Ingredients: 100% pure coconut water (no added sugar)

Benefits: Nature’s electrolyte replenisher for hydration.

Black Coffee ☕

Ingredients: Freshly brewed coffee (no sugar or cream)

Benefits: A clean energy boost with antioxidants.

Raw Milk with Raw Eggs 🥛🍳

Ingredients: 1 cup raw milk + 1-2 raw pasture-raised eggs + a touch of honey

Benefits: Protein and healthy fats for sustained energy.

Watermelon Juice 🍉

Ingredients: Fresh watermelon chunks blended + a squeeze of lime

Benefits: Hydrating and rich in lycopene for skin and heart health.

Electrolyte Drink 💧

Ingredients: Water + a pinch of sea salt + a squeeze of lemon + a drizzle of honey

Benefits: Replenishes minerals and prevents fatigue.

Water with Baking Soda 🥄

Ingredients: 1/2 tsp baking soda + 1 glass of water

Benefits: Alkalizes the body and soothes digestion.

Water with Chia Seeds 🌱

Ingredients: 1 tbsp chia seeds + 1 glass of water (soak for 10 minutes)

Benefits: Adds fiber, omega-3s, and hydration.