#…am I pessimistic because of my depression

[emietook]

The Analysts on MLB Network: *saying a lot of good things about the Braves, calling them the best team, etc*

Me: Oh no we’re doomed

[hotmalewife]

Dude reading more about adhd and its like apparently early intervention with medication leads to better outcomes and less severe adhd as an adult and its like ah (didnt get diagnosed until they were 24)

[theflyingfeeling]

stupid stupid stupid stupid I am so fucking stupid

(LONG rant in the tags. originally a little longer still but apparently there were too many tags so tumblr deleted the rest lol)

[cr0wc0rpse]

We haven’t even done thanksgiving yet but I’m already worried about how crushingly lonely I’m going to feel on new years eve

[matchasilver]

Venting below ///

tw: anxiety, stalking, and depression mentions

Also, despite wanting to post more art and writing, my anxiety over someone seeing it who I hate over takes me and makes me start to involuntarily cry and shake.

Listen, I'm an adult and I will say and do whatEVER the hell I want @ myself. I know that it's good to do things you love, even if you're scared while doing them. It's good for me to do things that bring joy!!!!

[gibbearish]

80 years already feels short as hell but it also feels long as hell yknow. whereas if i instead say 29,200 doesnt that feel so much shorter

[kimmkitsuragi]

flopping so hard again help

[illuminatedmysticc]

(Not the same anon)

I want to surrender, but I’m scared. Scared of so many things like: what if it’s not gonna work? What if I’m doing not genuinely, but for the sake of achieving it? What if I’ll never truly let go?

Honestly, I identified my problem, it is in fact obsession and being deeply attached to thing, but I’m so lost… I don’t know where to start to feel light and “free”. I’m always hoping, desiring, longing, then suffering, then being pessimistic, then being hopeful again and it never stops. I just want to let go of everything, but I don’t know how. Even living my own present normally doesn’t seem to help because there’s always that little voice inside my head depressing me and making me keep cling, even if subtly, on everything.

It’s Simple just listen to yourself

Hello I understand you are scared

But it doesn’t matter because "who is scared?"

What if doesn’t work ?

What ? There is nothing to achieve or gain , you are not here to "Attain godhood" or something you are "THAT" / IT / I AM / infinite radiant energy

You don’t gain anything, you simply remember , you already are Everything / Nothing

You notice it . Simply surrender.

You have to understand something here … I am not telling or "teaching" you anything new

You scared fine stay scared

You brave fine stay brave

You want to investigate and see it for yourself fine

It all boils to CHOICE

You can read all of this and still seek more , it’s not up to me , the ball is up to you

Now let me ask you this:

Haven’t you had enough of this " " "Fear""" holding over you?

Dissolve into the nothingness, shut up and listen to the silence within it speaks louder than words ever could.

[bithablu]

I'm really trying to not be a shithead about Dead Boy Detectives. I really am. I hope their show goes well for them. I hope the fans enjoy it. I hope they get as many seasons as the story needs. I won't be watching it; but that's a personal choice and not a call for a boycott or whatever. I simply don't want to get invested in another show only to have it cancelled for no good fucking reason (like Netflix do).

What I am having a problem with is the amount of advertising Netflix is doing to promote the show. Ads keep popping up. There's an "Ask the Cast Questions!" banner at the top of my Tumblr. New videos arrive every day. Honestly, with the exception of that fucking clown, it's almost as prolific as the One Piece bombardment.

How difficult would it have been to do even an eighth of that level of promotion for Lockwood and Co? There was some in the UK but I didn't see a damn thing in the US. Longtime fans of the book series didn't even know about the show until long after it was canceled.

It's just very frustrating that such an incredible show was cut short for no apparent reason. It had an amazing foundation with the phenomenal book series, a production company that clearly cared about the story, and an exceptionally talented cast. There was a clear ending to the story so no worries about series that go on too long. Mostly, though, (selfishly) I desperately want to see The Hollow Boy adapted. It would have been utterly fantastic.

Netflix could have had both shows. Fans of one show could have been easily tempted to watch the other and both their audiences would have grown. Unfortunately, Netflix continues to choose to cut short excellent series and leave their customers bitter and pessimistic. People stop giving new shows a chance because there's too much risk caring about a story if it's going to be abandoned. The focus on immediate gratification and social media numbers will be the downfall of good storytelling and it is depressing to watch- especially when I'm paying more each month to see it happen.

[pikatrainer99]

Branch from Trolls has PTSD, paranoia, depression, and anxiety and you can't change my mind! (Part 1: Trolls) (SPOILERS FOR A MOVIE THAT CAME OUT 8 YEARS AGO BUT JUST IN CASE 😅)

(This entire three-part analysis was SUPPOSED to be completed in its entirety by the end of May since it's for mental health awareness month, buuuut...I couldn't finish it in time (had to take a break and take care of myself because my PTSD has relapsed lately...AGAIN... I've been getting triggered really easily by just about anything and I hate it so much 😑), but at least the FIRST part is ready in time...so here we go!

Branch is my favorite character in DreamWorks' Trolls franchise, and for many reasons. One of them being that he is very relatable. As someone with PTSD, paranoia, depression, and anxiety myself, I find it easy to put myself in Branch's tiny Troll feet and feel how he feels. (I also headcanon him as autistic, which I also am, but that's a post for another day). With this series of posts I will be analyzing his character journey and how his mental struggles affect him and his life. I will only be going over the three theatrical films in the franchise in these analysis posts, because, while his mental struggles are ABSOLUTELY present in the TV shows, I haven't seen every episode of the TV shows and I have a lot to discuss with just the three movies because I love Branch and relate to him so much.

So, to start this analysis, let's take a look at the first Trolls film. When Branch is first introduced, he is a grumpy, depressed, pessimistic gray Troll, and the only Troll in the village who doesn't sing, dance, hug, or party.

He instead chooses to spend all his time working on gathering supplies and rations for his, as he says "highly camouflaged, heavily fortified, Bergen-proof survival bunker." He lives in the bunker and has enough provisions to last him ten years…eleven if he's willing to store and drink his own sweat…which he is (gross).

Branch always feels the need to be crazy over-prepared for everything (so do I), no matter how crazy it drives the others (same here). The other Trolls all say that he ruins everything by interrupting their fun and panicking that "The Bergens are coming!" when in reality there's no Bergen in sight and there hasn't been for 20 years by that point and he's just paranoid. To them, he's basically like the boy who cried wolf…or in this case, the Troll who cried Bergen.

When Poppy invites Branch to her party, Branch immediately declines, saying that he "wouldn't be caught dead at her party" before adding that all the others "will be caught and dead" because of how big, loud, and crazy it's going to be. Branch frustratedly declares that Poppy's party is just gonna lead the Bergens right to the Trolls, and they all just brush his warning off because they haven't had to worry about Bergens in 20 years. That night, during the party, Branch is out collecting more provisions and he looks at the party from afar, scoffing at the others and their carefree attitudes before retreating back to his bunker. Before he knows it though, Poppy is banging on his door because a Bergen attacked the party and took all her friends. Branch, in his paranoia and anxiety, drags Poppy inside the bunker with him and sets up all his traps as they sit and wait in silence before Poppy tells him the Bergen is gone.

Branch, still paranoid, doesn't believe her and says that it could still be out there "watching…waiting…listening…" He clearly feels like he can never let his guard down, always on hyper-alert, checking for any danger. This is a common symptom of PTSD - hyper-vigilance (I have this symptom myself), and it can contribute to paranoia, making it even worse (it definitely does for me, and it looks like it's the same for Branch).

When Poppy asks him to go to Bergen Town with her to save everyone, Branch, with no hesitation, says no, that they're not his friends, they're Poppy's friends, and that he's staying in his bunker because his bunker is safe. He takes her down to the lower levels of the bunker, and this is where we see some obvious evidence of his mental state. There is frantic fear writing ALL OVER THE WALLS, and it says things like, "Run", "Danger", "Bergens eat us", "Teeth in the night", among many other things that are hastily scribbled and illegible (though Branch has bad writing in general, so it's already hard to read, but my point stands). He's even got multiple papers with horrifying drawings of the Bergens hung up on that wall as well. I have never really seen anyone else in this fandom talk about the writing all over Branch's walls, so I'm gonna talk about it myself. It makes it look like the poor guy spiraled, lost control, and had a manic episode…or eleven.

(Seriously, just LOOK at all this!!! This man is NOT okay!!!)

He's clearly TERRIFIED of Bergens, and wants to do everything in his power to avoid ever encountering one (which, fair, they do wanna EAT the Trolls, so that's a valid fear). Branch's fear of Bergens though, is not a normal fear, it seems to be a phobia, which would explain the paranoia. Obviously there's something going on inside his head involving Bergens that will definitely be revealed later. (foreshadowing)

Poppy completely disrespects Branch's needs, wishes, and privacy by letting all the other Trolls into the bunker while she goes to save her friends that got taken. This kinda made me upset because Branch clearly didn't give her permission to invade his personal space like that and make his own home suddenly feel unsafe with everyone there going through his stuff all at once. He freaks out when it's "Hug Time" because he doesn't want to be touched, especially not by all these Trolls he doesn't trust, so he packs a backpack and goes after Poppy, saving her from some spiders.

(This is honestly really upsetting to watch, she totally disrespects and ignores his boundaries here and it hurts to see him freak out over Hug Time because I also hate being touched, which means I also dislike hugs as a result of that...I only willingly hug my grandparents, that's it, no one else, not even my own parents.)

The whole way to Bergen Town, Branch is gloomy, brooding, and irritable. He tells Poppy that the world isn't all "cupcakes and rainbows" when she asks what happened to him to make him the way he is.

Poppy and her constant singing get on his nerves, the worst instance of this being when she starts singing at night when he's trying to sleep, making him angry enough to throw her ukulele into the campfire, burning it.

(This scene always gets a laugh out of me, the way it's animated is just perfect comedy XD)

Singing is clearly triggering for him, which we find out why later on when he adamantly refuses to sing with the others when they're trying to help Bridget get a date with King Gristle by giving her a makeover. Poppy asks him why he won't sing and he responds with (probably) the most iconic line in the entire film (and not one that people seem to be able to take seriously…but I take it as seriously as can be): "BECAUSE SINGING KILLED MY GRANDMA, OKAY?!"

(His facial expressions here as he tells the story of what happened to his grandma are just...DreamWorks nailed it, and also the knee hugging pose...he's just like me for real 🥺)

We then see a flashback of a young Branch, happy and colorful, singing his heart out, but the Chef Bergen comes for him and he's so lost in song he doesn't notice, or hear his grandma warning him.

This causes his grandma to push him out of the way, and get taken instead.

Branch is so distraught by his grandma's sacrifice, that he loses all his happiness and becomes depressed, turning gray in the process, and vowing to never sing again.

(This poor child had to witness his grandma meet her untimely demise...and he blames himself for it...that's really depressing in my opinion, I seriously don't understand why people find this scene funny, it triggered my own PTSD really BAD the first time I watched it...I'm used to it now so I don't have my PTSD triggered by it anymore but it still hurts to watch.)

Now the bigger picture is clear. He's got PTSD and paranoia involving the Bergens because of what happened with his grandma as a child. His grandma's sacrifice also started his severe depressive state, as evidenced by him turning gray immediately after she got taken. When the flashback ends, Branch is staring silently and sadly out the window, looking like he's trying not to cry, his depression getting a hold of him once again.

(Again, DreamWorks really nailed the facial expressions here...he looks so broken 🥺)

I understand how he's feeling in that scene, my grandma is my LIFELINE, the person I feel the safest with…seriously I confide in her and tell her more things than I tell my own mom because I trust my grandma more…I even stayed at her house for a while a few years back during my worst mental crisis ever just so I could have the feeling of constant safety and less nightmares…so if something ever happened to her I wouldn't be able to live with myself. Singing is a trigger for him, and so are Bergens in general…which makes me upset at the others, AGAIN, when they sing the song that Branch was singing during that time…my thoughts were like, "Come ON guys, that song is probably the most triggering song for him…" As you can probably tell, I get upset with the others quite a few times whenever I watch this film, because of how they treat Branch. Eventually the entirety of Troll Village is thrown in a pot, ready to be served for Trollstice, and it's here where Branch's character development really becomes apparent. Poppy turns gray, quickly followed by all the other Trolls, and Branch looks around at everyone turning gray, like him, and, desperate to do something about it and help the girl he's now grown to love, he finally breaks his 20-year-long "no singing" vow as he begins to sing "True Colors" in what is probably the most beautiful scene in the entire film (I know it's my personal favorite scene).

(There they all go...turning gray...and Branch is just looking around at everyone, clearly upset by this.)

(His expressions here...you can tell he's thinking, "I've gotta do something!" And he does, and it's beautiful 🥺)

Thanks to Branch, Poppy and the other Trolls are able to regain their colors, and thanks to Poppy, Branch FINALLY regains his colors after 20 years!

(He's getting his colors back! I always feel so happy when I watch the True Colors scene, it's just so beautiful and satisfying 😌👍)

(They're so cute, look at them dance together 🥺! Broppy is best Trolls ship and no one can convince me otherwise, these two are PERFECT for each other 😌)

He thanks Poppy for showing him how to be happy, stating that "happiness is inside of all of us, sometimes you just need someone to help you find it", quoting one of Poppy's lines from earlier in the film. Branch now feels comfortable singing and dancing with Poppy and the other Trolls as they teach the Bergens that same lesson by singing "Can't Stop The Feeling", which helps the Trolls finally make peace with the Bergens after many many years of fearing being eaten by them.

Poppy is crowned queen, Branch finally asks for (and gets) a hug from her even though it's not Hug Time, and the movie ends.

(They are so adorable I can't take it!)

This is not the end of Branch's journey though, there's still two more movies to cover! I'll be covering the second movie hopefully soon, so I hope you look forward to that, and I hope you enjoyed this character analysis on Branch in the first movie! If I missed anything please feel free to let me know in the comments! I sometimes miss things especially with relatable characters because sometimes there are aspects that trigger me so I try to forget about those aspects, and sometimes the character as a whole just hits too close to home and writing analyses on them is too overwhelming because of that (Branch is one of those characters, so it took me ages to write this and gather all the GIFs and images...and also this entire analysis was written ENTIRELY from my memory of the events in the first movie, so there's that part too). Also please excuse the potato quality images and GIFs...I tried my best to find good ones but most of them I found are just REALLY bad quality so...sorry about that 😅

Okay, that's about it for this post! I'll see you guys next time for another Branch analysis, this time for Trolls World Tour! Catch ya later! 👋

[agendabymooner]

slipping through my fingers ! daniel r. x ofc (måneskin member!ofc) - rush: the mrs. ricciardo special (3)

"i try to capture every minute."

summary: beau ricciardo was introduced to the world and it's safe to say that he's incredibly loved by all.

content warning: video transcript, social media files (insta + tweets), use of explicit language, dad!daniel x mom!ofc, mentions of conceiving + pregnancy, fluff???, goddaddy lando

note: i've been writing a piece for lewlew hammer sorry for the lack of post 😩 also pls don't hesitate to send some asks just bc 😊

masterlist

tagged danielricciardo

liked by charles_leclerc, maxverstappen1, lewishamilton

user1 NIKI RIC?! 😢

user2 honey badger #2 in the paddock right here your honour 🦡

lewishamilton hyped to meet the little man 😍 liked by loricciardo

loricciardo you're just happy to have a playmate for lottie 😂

lewishamilton of course?!

maxverstappen1 he is so danny liked by loricciardo

loricciardo ik max there's no need to remind me how loud it'll be in my household

danielricciardo hey 😒

nora_alessandro così felice per te e danny! non vedo l'ora di vedere il piccolo bambino 😙🥰 so happy for you and danny! can't wait to see the little baby liked by loricciardo

danielricciardo tell georgerussell63 to not come to australia without any paddington stuff for beau 🤩

georgerussell63 congrats on your baby i guess 🙄 i'll make sure to get you every single one danny

ykaaar ughhhh mio piccolo tasso my little badger liked by loricciardo

loricciardo dovresti venire in australia e vederlo 🥰 you should come to australia and meet him

ykaaar io e i ragazzi visiteremo presto! me and the boys will be visiting soon

mateoales he's really 9 pounds? i am applauding you for carrying something that big for months 👏 liked by loricciardo

loricciardo grazie teo! beau can't wait to meet his zio ❤️

mateoales i can't wait to teach him football 😩

danielricciardo look at our little man 😭🦡 liked by loricciardo

loricciardo such a handsome boy

danielricciardo that's all his daddy 😍

loricciardo please say something i can actually agree with for once mio tasso

danielricciardo i take it back, your deep fried tim tams were shit 🤬

tagged loricciardo

liked by maxverstappen1, landonorris, colabebe

maxverstappen it's not a daniel ricciardo post if it's not partially depressing 🙂 congrats danny and lori! liked by danielricciardo

danielricciardo thanks man!

loricciardo what is this post, mio caro 😭😭 liked by danielricciardo

danielricciardo a post of appreciation doll ❤️

landonorris 6.5/10 post. i've seen a danny ric post much more cynical than this

danielricciardo i'm just trying to pass down a message to my son mate what are you on 😭

redbullracing the BR in RBR means beau ric 🐂 liked by danielricciardo

scuderiaferrari and the bull in red bull racing means bullsh- liked by loricciardo

user1 ADMIN'S TRYNA GET FIRED FR 😩🤣

user2 naw bc thats mad ^^

oscarpiastri does the little par still kick liked by danielricciardo

danielricciardo got kicked in the face once. safe to say he's still made for arsenal fc

oscarpiastri or the socceroos 🦘

mateoales you lads had never been so wrong 🤦‍♂️ he'll be a player for italia 🇮🇹

colabebe me 🤝 you = being pessimistic but not really liked by danielricciardo

danielricciardo that's just our sadness speaking cola 😂

tagged loricciardo, danielricciardo, colabebe

liked by mateoales, georgerussell63, alex_albon

comments have been limited

alex_albon rather appalled at the nickname you gave yourself

landonorris show me how you cry rq 🤩

maxverstappen1 DILF of the season 😘

danielricciardo ofc babe 😍😘

loricciardo 😰 you're a married man danielricciardo

sylvieeford maxverstappen1 have shame and don't thirst on a married man 🥲

charles_leclerc daddy ric 3 😍

georgerussell63 why does it look like you're the father in these photos 🤣

landonorris you're just jealous because you don't have a photo with the little par 😏

georgerussell63 jokes on you, i'll be beau's favourite uncle by the end of the year 😛

landonorris i wish you luck lad 😚

BR3 - OCTOBER 3, 2024 by lester allie

[transcript one]

lando: "what are you looking forward to the most?"

daniel: right now, we're just looking forward to having the baby delivered safely. it hasn't been the most pleasant 24 hours for lori and uh... yeah. just deliver the baby then we're good.

lando: and you... lori?

lester: pushing the little one out of me because he's been so adamant on kicking freely.

[transcript two]

*some movement in the background*

nicola, in a murmur: have you done taekwondo before?

lando: like- what you're doing? i can try.

*protests of "no lando, don't" then a tearing noise appears*

lester: landoooo what did you do?

*screeching noises in the background alongside a loud roar of laughter*

daniel: love, i think he ripped your jammies.

lester: lando~

lando: i know i know! i'm sorry. i ripped it in half, i think.

lando: and my shin hurts too. i think i ripped myself a new hole. literally.

[transcript three]

lando: i went to a lamaze class once.

nicola: with lo?

lando: yup. they had me acting like i was the one in labour.

nicola: *chuckles*

lando, giggling: it was awesome.

nicola: you should try one of those simulators where you'd feel the cramps and everything-

lando: oh, no no. i might shit myself if i did.

[transcript four]

*door swinging open in the background followed by sniffling*

lando: aww, daniel- are you okay?

daniel, crying: he's so beautiful.

nicola, snickering next to lando: he is?

daniel, still wailing: he is! oh my fucking god, i have to call- fuck, where's mum and dad- he's, god he's so perfect

lando, quietly giggling: why did you leave your wife in the stupid room?

daniel, stammering: have to call mom- michelle- shit, my phone's inside. fuck.

*door swings open again slams shut*

*silence followed by fits of laughter between lando and nicola.*

nicola: i had never seen him cry like that

lando: me neither. he cries uglier than george and sylvie too.

bonus !!!

[doctorpandorica]

So Fanfiction, Deadpool and Wolverine, and Logan, made have a fucking epiphany about my mental health. Seeing it sky rocket at the box office, gives me hope that A, I am not alone and B, the world can be a better place. And I have to say, I really do believe both Ryan Reynolds and Hugh Jackman deserve the world.

For the first time in my life yesterday, I looked at myself and thought I look pretty. The FUCKING kicker is I did again this morning and I felt the same way. Maybe just a baby step, but it's a step in the right fucking direction mother fuckers. But, How did I get here (Yes, I'm pulling this shit on you).....

I have horrendous fear of endings and I finally learned....or accepted it's because it's symptomatic of my misery. Things like desperation, depression and anxiety can trick you into the allure of mistaking familiarity as comforting, even when it's hurting you. That you are far less that what you are actually and are deserving of far less than you actually do, that the consequences of our choices are proof that our pessimistic view is the whole of reality.

But, it's only half of the truth and that is the majesty of realism, seeing the glass is both half full and half empty. The best understanding of Pessimism, Optimism and realism can be explained in a quote by William Arthur Ward. Where the three are stuck out at sea on a sail boat,

"The Pessimist complains about the wind; the optimist expects it to change; the realist adjusts the sails."

To make the best choices in life you need to see every possibility and my heart goes out to those that are so blinded by pessimism, hope seems like fairy tale. I mean it's hard enough even if you can see things are possible but, it's still a bitch of an up road battle.

Which brings me to one of the most devastating ones in my life, the death of my dad. I always wondered how someone who seemed so sure of himself, could understand my pain so well. In hindsight I knew he had very hard life, it shouldn't have surprised me that he not only had crippling OCD, Anxiety but, depressions that at times reached suicidal ideations.

I was more my father's daughter than I realized, and took those fucking movie, to really appreciate what that meant.

Don't blindly accept things, ask questions.

If I had, I would've realized it's not that I don't care what others think, I'm really fucking depressed. And that's why I don't put effort in what I wear, or personal hygiene or wear make up. Never assume to know who you are, that's part of the majesty of life, that not knowing.

You never truly fail, until you give up.

For more clarity , I would like to add, some words of wisdom from a beloved science teacher,

"If at first you don't succeed, find out why"

Treat people fairly, across the board "Give people a chance"

To be sparingly coupled with, both

Trust your gut

This requires a lot of hard work, with self regulation and introspection. I've found DBT or Dialectical Behavioral Therapy to be very helpful. Which I must add the following because, I was wrongfully diagnosed with Autism (feeds into the dangers of acceptance). My therapist who diagnosed me ironically introduced to me the saving grace that is DBT. But, told me it wouldn't help me because I am autistic which she came to the conclusion based on ...

Flat Effect

Only developed when I hit puberty, the same time I developed depression and anxiety. People don't develop autism later on in their life, they are born with it.

Black and white thinking

If anything I think this is the problem with society and for anyone to say this about me, has obviously never heard me talk about anything. I found this utterly insulting

Anger prone

Repressed emotions and didn't start happening until 20's

Lack of Eye contact

I get really nervous around meeting new people, particularly if they stand really close to me for some fucking reason.  Once I get to know people I have no problem looking them in the eye.

Lack of Socialization

Low self-esteem brought on by my Depression

Social Anxiety and general Anxiety (fear of doing something wrong)

I actually do have a desire to socialize, but mistook relief after social based anxious episodes as me not liking it.

The same was done with someone very close to me, who was told they were Bipolar even though it didn't fit. They chose to trust they 're doctor, and was proven insanely wrong by they're new Doctor who aptly diagnosed them as having Borderline Personality and they are doing so much better.

Anyway I participated in a DBT group for about 16 weeks or so, one of which was diagnosed late in life with a form of autism. And the difference by the end of those weeks only strengthened my faith in DBT.

Don't start anything, but always finish

Don't go looking for a fight but, stand up for yourself when necessary, emphasis on necessary.

As long as people aren't hurting others or themselves, mind your own business

For some people this can be tricky, especially for those guided by their idealized narratives of the world. Again DBT can help with this in the grand scheme of things.

I mistakenly thought, that because I didn't seem to react how I would expect (bad assumptions) that I was fine. Even though, I was able to acknowledge that I was deeply depressed, which I was able to trace back to age 11, which for clarity was 20 years ago. Which fun fact I only discovered in my senior year of high school, followed by my anxiety a year later my first year of college. IT IS NEVER TOO LATE !!! EVEN IF YOU ARE GOING TO DIE TOMORROW!!! HAPPYNESS MAY NOT BE A CHOICE BUT THE PATH TO IT IS!!!

More In-depth analysis of how Hugh Jackman, Ryan Reynolds and Marvel factor into follow in follow up post. Because This post is too damn long, already. Thank you to those who read it all the way through , I wish you contentment.

[hanakou-often]

I just happened to stumble upon your blog.. and I never really thought about HanaKou before, but these posts are very compelling. I love seeing other people’s ships in things and would love to be convinced into them.. heh. I’ve sort of fallen out of tbhk recently because the most recent arc hasn’t been compelling to me PARTLY BECAYSE KOU AND NENE AND HANAKO DONT KNOW EACH OTHWR?!?!? Which is really depressing, because I like them a lot. Ermm idk where I’m going with this I just was scrolling through the blog like “heh.. they’re cute I want to know more..” and now here I am. Please excuse my nonsense blabber idek if this makes sense 😔

Oh boy. Despite Hanakou being my hyperfixation for around 3 years, I still don't feel equipped to salesman my way into convincing someone 😭 most of my love for them has just come from PURE brainrot so I'll try my best to actually formulate more logical reasons why I like this sinking ship as much as I do. Long ass spoiler-filled rant incoming!!

1. Narrative Foils

A narrative foil is a character that contrasts another character, often the protagonist, to highlight certain aspects of their characters. Think Kabru and Laios from Dungeon Meshi, Sayaka and Kyoko from Madoka Magica, Draco and Harry from Harry Potter, etc.

To begin, Kou is a 'weak,' naive exorcist who always fights for justice and to protect the people he loves out of his own volition. Since he is the underdog of his family clan, the mediocre middle child next to his eldest exorcist extraordinaire brother, Kou is willing to do anything to prove his worth. This is primarily exhibited by his first meeting with Hanako as he recklessly plunges into a battle with the most powerful ghost in Kagome despite his inexperience with his weapon. When he's confronted about such, Kou states, "I don't care what happens to me as long as I can protect everyone!" and if that doesn't sum up his ideology, I don't know what does. He is shown to be the type of person to put everyone's safety, happiness and livelihood above his own, ultimately leading his selflessness to be his own detriment.

Contrarily, Hanako is a strong, knowledgable apparition who is given the role to protect students of Kamome, regardless of his detachment from the student body, as a way of atonement. As the long standing executive leader of the seven mysteries, Hanako has grown largely apathetic towards everyone, easily taking the cold, calculated and unconventional routes to reach the outcome he deems best no matter who it would hurt in the process. This is exemplified many times in the manga but to pick a lighter one: The time Hanako confessed to Nene under the kodama tree without telling her before hand that it wasn't real, leading him to hurt her feelings. It's clear that Hanako is the type of person to value his own goals and interests above everyone else's input, making him the more selfish antithesis to Kou's "selflessness."

Their differences in philosophy are really striking at times. Kou is endlessly optimistic while Hanako is more pessimistic, seeing the grimmer aspects of reality that Kou usually neglects. For example, Nene's lifespan has been a divisive topic between them for a while. Hanako had known about it from the start, originally intending to keep the poor girl in ignorant bliss for how much time she had left. At the point of the reveal in the clock keeper arc, he had no plans on trying to change her fate, solemnly stating that "there are things in this world that must not be changed...It's better for Yashiro this way." This is a direct contrast to Kou's more 'human' perspective as he immediately protests Hanako's claim of "There is nothing you can do," passionately asserting that he won't give up, he'll do whatever it takes save her and that is final. In the face of a dark reality, Kou completely rejects it, choosing to believe there's hope, like the naive son of a gun Hanako knows he is. From personal experience, Hanako knows it's stupid, it's idiotic, it's downright suicidal to go up against fate but somehow he ends up hoping Kou is right, trailing "I'm counting on you" as they settle back into a world that will never be the same after this revelation between them. (Something something Their differences are key to propelling the plot forward since Kou is the one to inspire Hanako not to just let Nene's life go by!!)

All of this is not to say they don't have anything in common. In fact, they are united by their desire to save the people they care about, grounded in their ruthless determination to see out their goals and are self sacrificing to an extent. I would love to go deeper on this topic but I'm afraid my brain is already starting to fry lol. In short, their differences are what make them interesting as a duo!! Each of their qualities can compliment the other's contrasting attributes and as people say, opposites attract!!!

2. Pivotal Roles in each other's Narrative

Hanakou are very important to each other's story since they are a key player in both their humble beginnings and tragic ends. Respectively, they are each other's gateway to a new life. Much like Nene, Kou is a symbol of hope for Hanako, his spunky attitude and determined nature igniting a humanitarian spark that Hanako lacked in the sixty years he lingered Kamome. For Kou, Hanako is the first apparition he meets, the one that sets off his rocky journey with navigating the world of supernaturals as a lackluster exorcist, and the second person to fuel his fire by believing in him. Specifically, Hanako tells Kou he looks forward to the day he can expel him with ease, a statement that foreshadows their distant future. In order to complete their whole character arcs (Hanako going from stubbornly clinging to the near shore to repent to accepting he's done every to atone and ready to pass on; Kou starting off weak and naive then ending as a stronger exorcist capable of understanding both the supernatural world and humanity) they'll have to do exactly what Hanako anticipated: Exorcise him once and for all. This aspect of their relationship is something intricately intertwined with their fates and while AidaIro may have forgotten about it, I can only hope they'll deliver so that they can bring their narratives full circle.

Now in the context of a romantic relationship, there are some absolutely soul crushing implications here. The hands Hanako loves to admire, intertwine his fingers with and adore are the same ones that will ultimately be his demise. Kou is Hanako's deathbed. That’s what they’ve known all along. It’s something that looms over their heads with a lingering heaviness neither boy wants address: Kou wanting to silently avoid his crushing responsibility while Hanako is just trying to savor whatever time he has with Kou. It's doomed just like everything else in TBHK <3

3. Young Exorcist arc

This one goes hand and hand with the second point but I felt that this needed to be discussed on its own since it's where many Hanakouers (ME) really took interest in their relationship. The arc begins with Kou being pulled aside by Teru, the two having a conversation about how Kou was supposed to immediately exorcise any seven mysteries he encounters. When Kou fumbles around him, insisting that he can't find it in himself to see Hanako as a bad supernatural, Teru is quick to remind him that "There is no such thing as a 'good supernatural'" and promptly takes him off the case. He was going to take matters into his own hands but the moment Kou looks at him with pleading eyes, Teru decides to give him more time to carry the duty out.

This is where Kou sets off to find Hanako, get some irrefutable proof that he's not evil like the generalization Teru makes. The effort he puts here into defending Hanako is absolutely adorable, if not a testament to their potential then a testament to Kou's sweet character. The suspicion he's built as he spies on Hanako who saunters around with a sack of stolen items is broken once the ghost explains that he's gathering them to return to their rightful owners. As stated previously, Hanako’s noble deeds are done more as a way to atone rather than out of his own good will so to see that he went out of his way to return stolen items to students, one of which being Kou’s safety earring, without being obligated to do so is great evidence to support Kou's idea that supernaturals can be good. Given this, Kou decides right then and there that he won’t exorcise Hanako after all. Now, Hanako here could have reveled in this decision, his kind act successfully manipulating Kou into compliance with his schemes, but instead, Hanako shows him exactly why he shouldn’t give up.

He cares for the kid. He does. Which is why he has to show how wrong he can be. It’s a downright dangerous thought because it lures Kou into a false sense of security that all supernaturals can be “good” like Hanako.

Cue Teru's dramatic entrance where he immediately apprehends the offending apparition and tries to execute him (for good reason). Blah blah blah Teru is condescending towards Kou because he made the wrong call again, something something Kou is trapped in Teru's bead bracelet and question his view of Hanako once more. For a moment, Kou almost gives into despair, letting Teru exorcise him without another word. After all, what does Kou know about the supernatural world? He's a weak link to Teru's infinite knowledge, power and experience. Maybe he should just let him do what he deems best.

However, as Hanako objects to his sentencing, screaming that “death would only be a release” and he still has so much to do here, it reminds Kou that Hanako is here for a reason. Sure, he’s an apparition, something that’s synonymous with evil, but all that time they spent together has to mean something, right? Hanako indulges Nene and Kou, joking around, Hanako has indulged Kou when no one else believed in him, he's saved them when he easily could’ve left them to their own devices. That definitely means something. Suddenly, Kou breaks free from the beaded prison, charges in the middle of the battle field and grips Teru's blade with an iron fist, all to save Hanako.

Just look at that. Kou slit his own palm trying to protect Hanako, someone he vowed to erase just weeks ago, because he's willing to give him the benefit of the doubt. He defies his brother, someone he highly admired for the past fourteen years of his life, for Hanako’s sake. Kou’s change in attitude towards his exorcist duties is largely attributed to Hanako. The sole notion of Hanako, the not so evil supernatural, has turned Kou’s world completely upside down.

I'll never forgive the anime for omitting this arc, not only because it excludes a pivotal moment in their relationship but also because it deprived an enriching detail to their development!!! Oh my god. Kou finally stands up for himself and owns up to his naivety. He knows he’s stupid for jumping from one extreme conclusion to the other before he has fully understood everything Hanako has to offer but he can no longer side with Teru’s one note view of him or supernaturals in general, lest more decent apparitions be erased without cause. He brings a level of nuance to the function that Teru does not appreciate!! When Kou decides to vouch for Hanako, undertaking the massive responsibility to watch over him all on his own, it shows a lot of growth in his maturity and his perspective of the ghost.

So yeah. A lot to say about the young exorcist arc. Not only has it deeply impacted the Minamoto brothers relationship, but it has brought a significant change within Kou’s mindset. He’s no longer trying to label Hanako as a definitive good or bad but trying to deepen his understanding of him and decide what to do from there. As for Hanako, he seems to respect Kou more now, giving credit where credit is due, and feels as though their bond is strengthened by the vulnerable state they saw each other in. He even acknowledges this in the first chapter of ASHK when Teru comes in to “help clean" by immediately taking cover behind Kou and questioning the commitment he made to keep Teru at bay. It's also weirdly sweet to see Hanako taking cover behind Kou here!! It really goes to show how much trust they've built for each other and how safe Hanako feels around the exorcist C:

To sum it all up, the young exorcist arc was an important part of showing how Hanakou work together and cement how their views of humanity/supernatural world are shifting because of each other!! I didn't get to talk about it too much but they also have a bunch of cute moments here which sorta feeds to the next point.

4. Classic Bromance to Romance

A bromance is defined as a quote en quote "close, friendly but non-sexual relationship between two men" and that's more or less what Hanakou brings to the table!!! First and foremost, they are complete opposites in a lot of their personality traits which makes it fun to see how they interact. Hanako's pervyness to Kou's disciplined innocence, Hanako's mischief to Kou's gullibility, Hanako's love of teasing to Kou's fiery denials, it's all just so entertaining to watch!!! They bounce off each other sorta like a coke and mentos relationship where on their own, they're absolutely fine but when they're together BOOM explosions, dumb arguments, rough housing 24/7, etc, etc. Just take a look at the shenanigans they get up to in this panel.

How? Just how did they get here? They used to be enemies, they're still supposed to be enemies but here they are, a hopeful descendent of a powerful exorcist clan and an executive leader of a important supernatural group, just play fighting with a mop and broom like they're no better than two clumsy best friends goofing off on their free time. I love their little bromance so much because it's the result of their growth during the many adventures they've had together. URUGHH After they've been through, it's deeply endearing to realize that they really are just boys being boys at their core!! C:

Now moving onto the romance part, I want to preface this with how I do believe men should be allowed to have intimate platonic relationships with each other without having to get accused of being gay but alas, I fear Hanakou's closeness as friends can easily pave the way for something more as they blur the line between friendly and flirty banter.

It's already been established that Hanako feels safe enough to be his usual self around the exorcist, knowing that no matter how mischievous, touchy and downright despicable Hanako can be, Kou won't ever hurt him. It's a sweet sort of trust that can be explored further with some typical bromance shenanigans, IE Hanako gets bored and decides to test Kou's boundaries just for the hell of it. At first, it's only joke flirting and some harmless teasing here and there. Maybe a lingering touch or two (only to push some buttons of course). Most of the time, Hanako finds this endeavor to be deeply rewarding since Kou reacts in a way that Nene doesn’t, his responses leaning into his more physical, boyish volatility as he either bashfully pushes Hanako away, chases him off or just straight up punches him in the arm, visibly flustered. The reactiveness encourages Hanako to keep upping the ante to the point where it's more unusual for him not to mess with Kou. It's grown into a bad habit of his: snaking his arms around Kou's shoulders, fiddling with his fingers with reverent fascination, sneaking glances at the boy and making funny faces in the hopes he'll look back and laugh, etc, etc. As Kou gets used to Hanako's antics overtime, his extreme reactions gradually diminish and it's becoming increasingly clearer that Hanako isn't (wasn't?) just doing it because "he's bored" anymore. No, it's something worse. With a sinking clarity, Hanako realizes boredom isn't the driving reason for being around Kou anymore, it's fondness of the cute (flustered) expressions he makes, it's the giddiness that swells in his chest when Hanako manages to make him smile, the electricity that floods his system when Kou flirts back, it's...something else he does not want to dissect. And so, Hanako will bury this revelation under the belief it's due to his unfamiliarity of friendship. Fifty years of isolation has to do a number to your perception of romance vs friendship, right???

Meanwhile, Kou is committed to the promise he made in the young exorcist arc so he's usually admiring from afar watching over Hanako to make sure he's in line and keeping an eye on Hanako isn't hard as of late; they're spending more time together before, during and after school and as much as he doesn't want to admit it, he genuinely enjoys the company. Kou likes what they have, it's good that they can rely on each other and still leave room to joke around but to be honest, Kou has some...weird feelings towards Hanako. Every time their eyes meet his heart skips a beat, whenever he lets his mind wander it usually finds its way back to Hanako, their friendly banter stuck in his head, and for whatever reason, Kou's body can't seem to forget the ghost's touch, even long after he's fucked off to who knows where. There's something different about it. It's not the detestation he had when he first met Hanako, nor is it the quaint glee he had when he decided to not exorcise him. It's something completely new, something foreign that has his stomach doing flips every time he sees Hanako's bright smile or hears his stupid laugh. Kou tries not to think about it too much, lest he gives Hanako exactly what he wants, so he just chalks it up to his view of supernaturals being challenged. After all, going from believing all supernaturals are dangerous, evil vermin that need to be exterminated to voluntarily hanging out with such a friendly one is bound to stir up some mixed feelings, right?

Do you see my vision now? The bromance to romance pipeline would be unreal with these two confused idiots!! There's so much room for the internalized homophobia, the confusion of trying to differentiate friendly feelings from the clusterfuck of emotions the other boy evokes and the funny fumblings of two teenage boys letting the joke flirting go a bit too far like a game of gay chicken gone wrong. Their relationship speaks to me in a way that can only be described as the entertainment you get from mixing two reactive substances and waiting for the inevitable chaos that proceeds. Even if you don't ship Hanakou romantically, you gotta admit their dynamic is super fun to explore!! C:

5. Other characters reactions

I swear I’m taking this somewhat seriously but I really enjoy the more wholesome aspects of this ship!! Nene being the third wheel to her two guy best friends, the LEAST romantic people she knows, is something that is deeply entertaining to me <3 She came into Hanako's life wishing for a boyfriend, failed to get one and then had to watch him get one himself. She would be so happy for them but at the same time, she'd be fighting demons trying to figure out how these two IDIOTS got more rizz than she does. (How much aura do you lose for this LMAOOOO)

Then you got Teru which if you liked this aspect of Mitsukou where Teru disapproves of his brother dating a school mystery then hooo boy YOU’LL LOVE HANAKOU!! Whatever apprehension he has towards Mitsukou it's increased tenfold because it’s one thing to date a school mystery, it’s a whole other thing to date not only the ghost of a murder but the LEADER of the seven mysteries??? Teru would absolutely flip his shit, wasting no time to charge into Hanako’s bathroom and expel him right then and there the SECOND he finds out (AND I DON'T BLAME HIM!! he just doing his job fr). I’ve been told it’s sorta like a Romeo and Juliet situation where two star crossed lovers are kept apart by a long-standing feud between their opposing houses (Montagues and Capulets WHO? I only know the Minamoto clan and Seven Mysteries) and I think that can just about sum it up!!

6. Hanako-San (ASHK)

This post is already as long as it is so I’ll save you the trouble of attempting an analysis and copy and paste my ramble from another post: “In regards to HanaKou discourse, I've always seen people say 'Kou's into Mitsuba!!' or 'they're just platonic besties! Plus Kou rejected Hanako!!!' and sure, maybe Kou doesn't have a thing for Hanako but has anyone REALLY stopped to consider Hanako has a thing for Kou??? And just. Didn't process it because of internalized homophobia AND his crush on Nene overshadowing his feelings for Kou??? Because THIS chapter had NO RIGHT to be so fruity on Hanako's part” and yeah why is the first thing Hanako decides to do when he turns into a girl is flirt with Kou??? And an even better question is why did he genuinely sulk when Kou rejected him??? If you didn't mean it why were you so butt hurt then huh??? Hanako really is the type of guy to passively think "if Kou was a girl or if I was a girl, I'd date him 100%" and it definitely shows!!!

7. Fanfiction. So. Much. Fanfiction.

This one doesn't have much to do with canon but it's more than likely why some people (ME) began to ship Hanakou!! My personal experience was I thought they were sorta interesting and I checked on ao3 to see if there were any others who thought the same. To my surprise, there were a bunch of fics lovingly written for them already and out of curiosity I started reading one. One became two, two became three, then suddenly I was tumbling down the rabbit hole feverishly consuming whatever I could get my grubby little hands on. As you've stated, seeing others' passion can be pretty compelling reason to start shipping something and I totally agree!!! Exploring the dynamics in such a freeing medium like Fanfiction can be much more invigorating than just reinterpreting canon so do give it a try if you're interested!! I promise Hanakou nation is a welcoming space and we'd be delighted to see more people on board with these two idiots C:

END

AUGHHHH I struggled to find the right words to express my thoughts but I hope it gave you a better understanding of Hanakou!! These two really are my Roman Empire and despite how much I floundered around this post, I am genuinely grateful for the opportunity to share my visions!!! Thank you so much for asking C:

[radfem-vex]

Optimistic and Pessimistic Radical Feminist Flags

Hi everyone, so like 2 weeks ago I started working on radical feminist flags, since the flags we often use represent us don't seem to necessarily mean "radical feminist," despite being associated with us (e.g labrys lesbian flag).

Here's that post btw

(Check this post out to see the meaning of the stripes)

Specifically there I created an iteration of the "optimistic radical feminist flag" (and a commie/socialist radfem version of same) and have since created more iterations!

These are the initial flags!

I've now created new versions using the new radfem symbol I've created.

Personally I kind of prefer the former two because the symbol is a little "softer" but I've put these up so people can choose which they prefer!

Now, what of radical feminists who have a pessimistic outlook around women's rights and/or socialist revolution? I've not forgotten about you!

Here's a pessim flag with the OG feminist symbol:

The stripes mean the same thing (I swapped around pink and red because it looked too much like a bisexual flag otherwise and not all radfems are bi). The pink being on the bottom half can also represent the struggle women. Pessim radfems may also be known as blackpill feminists.

The moon instead of the sun represents antithesis to optimism. The purple background instead of yellow represents the nighttime. Pessimistic meanings of the colour purple include depression and mourning.

Pessimistic commie/socialist radfem flag!

Here are the above but with the new radfem symbol I made:

I hope y'all find this interesting! I got the idea of optimism vs pessimism in radical feminism from being in the r/femalepessimism subreddit.

MAJOR ADDENDUM

I will be changing these flags to exclude the hammer and sickle, not because I am anti-socialist (I'm very socialist) but because of the genocides and violence against women perpetrated by the USSR under the ☭ symbol. It's kind of like wielding a swastika. It's unfair to eastern European women and anyone else victimized by authoritarianism. All violence isn't ok, whether it's excused with capitalism or communism.

As for now I have elected to not take down the post as it may seem like I'm "hiding" my mistakes, and other people who may be drawn in by the ☭ symbol might read this addendum and see fellow socialists changing how they go about this kind of symbol.

There are a variety of rose symbols that indicate kindness and women's rights intertwined in a socialist system. I have not picked exactly which rose I will be using but when I create an update to these flags you will be able to see then which rose I have selected 🫶🏾

[aita-blorbos]

AITA for leaving my depressed friend?

I (M) have a friend. He's not just my friend - he's my best friend. And it's been like that forever.

However, at one point, he began to act.. weirdly. Always pessimistic, complaining about everything. No matter what we did, he'd describe it as shit. And I'm sorry but I just couldn't fucking handle it dude. Being around him constantly expressing his hatred of everything we did and saw made me feel like shit. I told him this, and then he promised he wouldn't complain the next time we went out. But then he did.

And... Goddamn it, sorry but I couldn't deal with it anymore. I told him that I didn't want to see the shitty world he saw, and walked away. Leaving him behind, I guess.

I know that it's been really hard for him. He got diagnosed with Asperger's and I understand he's been dealing with some stuff. But I didn't want to get so cynical as well, and I could feel it happening every second we spent together.

I just didn't want to give up on my happiness I guess.

Not long after he came to me again, hugged me and started saying how I was right. But he looked pretty drunk. And then, again, told me that everything really was shit because of... Aliens? And that us two could change and fix it all.

I told him that things were different now. He then flipped me off and called me a piece of shit. But right afterwards told me he loved me.

And I gave him a second chance. But right as I approached him again he told me I'm still a piece of shit, so I left him again. I could hear him say he loved me again but I didn't turn back this time.

We're on good terms again. Like nothing ever happened. But I can't help but think about everything that happened every once in a while, and now I'm starting to think that what I've done might've, in a way, been a shitty thing to do. To leave a best friend when he needed you?

I don't know. Am I The Asshole? I don't think I am, but I know I have my faults. I should probably not be thinking of any of this. There's nothing to talk about. But... I don't know.

[sophieinwonderland]

https://www.tumblr.com/sophieinwonderland/755581825630535680/i-wonder-what-the-transphobic-right-wing?source=share

These.. are cult tactics though? Preying on the vulnerable isn't good, even if its in an attempt to normalize things. I've met multiple systems who've suffered trauma due to people trying to convince them they had some system experiences that they didn't while they were in a vulnerable headspace. Just because being a system isn't bad or hateful doesn't mean using manipulation and targeting to create systems isn't awful.

Unless I'm misunderstanding this, and you're leaning more towards "uplifting the vulnerable so they like us" which is. Far less immoral. I could just be seeing this post through pessimistic eyes, and if I am I'm sorry, as I'm definitely not trying to. But this reads as a really harmful thing, so even if I am reading it extremely wrong It might be good to clarify so no one else can either see it and be concerned, or see it and twist it.

If these are cult tactics, then clearly that means Christianity, Islam and other proselytizing religions must be cults as well.

After all, I'm only suggesting using the same exact tactics these religions have employed for centuries to achieve their global dominance.

What I'm really doing, and why I tagged that post with so many conservative and Christian tags, is pointing out hypocrisy.

I've considered mass marketing tulpamancy before so many times.

"What if I just started posting in depression tags about the studies showing the benefits of tulpamancy and trying to get people to make tulpas?"

This is something I've seriously considered. But I'm always held back because it feels wrong to do that.

At the same time though, there is a part of me that believes it could help people to improve their lives, especially those struggling with loneliness. You know, the same way Christians believe that proselytizing their religion will help save souls and improve the lives of the vulnerable people they convert.

All in all, what makes my idea a cult tactic and theirs not?

Because it feels to me that this is just being based on what's popular, and that my idea is only viewed as "cult-like" because we lack the institutional power mainstream religions use to carry out the same tactics.

I'm not going to do what I suggested.

But I can't help but wonder if that restraint is a mistake.

If by not employing these sorts of tactics that mainstream religions use, especially conservative branches of those religions, we're placing ourselves at a disadvantage.

More generally, I look around at the information wars being fought between liberals and conservatives, and I can't help but wonder if our morals are weaknesses that mean that we're bringing sticks to bear against machine guns.