#working man's dick

[mywifeleftme]

35: Supreme Dicks // The Emotional Plague

The Emotional Plague Supreme Dicks 1996, Homestead (Bandcamp)

In the ‘80s it became a trope of punkier/grungier alternative bands to include little gobs of noisy tape experiment gunk on their releases, often as a b-side or hidden track. By the ‘90s there was a whole loose subgenre of artists that could be summarized as “if Dinosaur Jr.’s ‘Poledo’ grew limbs and became a band”—Dino alum Lou Barlow’s Sebadoh being the most obvious outcome, but Amherst, MA’s Supreme Dicks maybe the purest. Early conceptions of post-rock as a genre had an apocalyptic undercurrent: what would music sound like a century after rock’s disappearance, when the hairless blind mole children crawl out of the fallout shelters and discover a half-eaten guitar?

Supreme Dicks’ The Emotional Plague sounds like a primal soup of life. Protozoan cells of folk, free jazz, noise rock, minimalist chamber music, etc. mill around, eating and interbreeding. Occasionally enough of them stick together for something burly and song-like to lurch from the bog and stagger around for a few minutes before crumbling back into the pool. Yet even in the formless stretches afterward, the texture is fascinating, blobby with saxophone skronk and unplaceable cries reminiscent of bleating lambs. When something familiar emerges it feels like a remnant of the old world being rediscovered, like the resplendent exotica of “Along a Bearded Glade.”

Sprawling movements like “Porridge for the Calydonian Bear” and “Siberian Penal Colony (Ode To Joel Stanley)” push a certain version of dreamy post-hardcore past anything recorded by Slint or Unwound, and nearly 30 years later The Emotional Plague feels like a landmark. While there are certainly some passages that begin to grate, I often find myself with Dicks on the brain (ugh, fuckin kill me).

35/365

[fanaticalthings]

While I do find it funny that henchmen in Gotham probably warn each other about the Red Hood because he's a bat who will actually kill you. I think it would be better if Jason was actually seen as some sort of savior or idol to like 90% of the goons scattered around Gotham. Doesn't matter who they work for, they all know Jason, former crime-lord that took over majority of Gotham's underground in one night.

---

Jason, years after the events of UTRH, now fighting crime alongside the batfam, except every goon he runs into immediately recognizes him, stops fighting, and starts begging.

the first time it happens, Jason assumes they're begging for their lives only to hear them begging for him to return to the crime lord business so they can work for him and not Gotham's current money-stingy, abusive rogues (Black Mask lol)

---

Jason showing up to patrol as backup for Dick in an overrun warehouse full of Two-Face's henchmen and as Jason's about to interfere, one of the men stops dead in their tracks and stares really hard at Jason until:

Goon: Oh my God, boss, is that you?

Jason, pulling out his guns, about to shoot:

Goon: Mr. Hood, sir???

Jason, halfway about to pull the trigger: Wait a min–Jeremy? Oh wow, it's been ages! How's the wife?

Goon (Jeremy): Oh my God it IS you, holy shit where have you BEEN? Me and the guys miss you, man!

Dick, with a knife at his throat: What is happening right now

Jason: Ahh, well, crime-lording just wasn't fitting in on the daily schedule. Tryna turn over a new leaf and all that

Goon (Jeremy): Aw, that's disappointing. We really liked working for you, right guys?

[Chorus of enthusiastic "YEAHS" from the rest of the henchmen (even the one holding Dick at knifepoint)]

Goon (Jeremy): Well, anyways, I can't beat you up knowing you're my old boss! You gave us the best health benefits! We'll just let you take the evidence and leave.

Jason: Aw, thanks guys :)

---

And that's why 95% percent of Jason's missions in Gotham end in success. Not because he's willing to kill people or because rogues are terrified of him, but because 90% of the rogues' henchmen once worked for Jason and fuckin love him lol.

[reaping-the-benefits]

Oh, to be Price's little housewife, without a care in the world. He'd pay the bills and treat you so nicely. And all you'd have to do is cook him dinner, tell him you love him, and ride his dick.

It really would be such a good set up though. 😭 like you wouldn't have to worry about a thing. You really wouldn't need a job (unless you want one, then go for it, babes! He'd support you through university.) This man doesn't spend money on himself, but on you? Oh, babe, you don't even need to ask.

You want that designer purse? Swipe his card.

You want new nails? Swipe his card.

Expensive lipstick? SWIPE HIS CARD.

All that he asks for in return is watch your freshly new manicured hands wrap around his dick, while you sit on your knees. Leave a lipstick stain on the base of his cock when you blow him. Thank him for spoiling you, love.

[helloilikepurple]

DC X DP - Mirrors

Did Danny want to live in Gotham? No, of course not. Did he have a choice? Nope. When does he ever?

Now, he may be technically homeless, but he's also technically dead, so human laws technically don't apply to him. So, naturally, he pics out an empty mansion so big even if the owners were to come home, the chances they'd run into each other would be really low, and settles in.

This 'mansion' happens to be Drake Manor. Look, Danny lived in nowhere Illinois and kinda had his hands full dealing with ghosts, a double life, bullies, and being actively hunted. He doesn’t know much about celebrities. If you tell him the name of someone super famous, it might sound vaguely familiar, but that's about it. What he knew was superheroes and vigilantes (some of them, okay, give him a break). That's about it.

So the name Drake in connection with Gotham didn't ring any alarm bells. He did some surface level research: the Drakes are dead, survived by their only child, Timothy Drake-Wayne, who now owns their house but was adopted by some other super rich guy called Bruce Wayne and doesn't live in it, leaving it empty for the foreseeable future.

It was the perfect place!

Danny didn't explore much, partly because he didn't care to and partly because he was too tired to from healing. He cleaned up after himself, used only his bedroom (chosen for being tucked way back and out of the way), the attached bathroom, and the theatre occasionally as a treat. He lived off of the provisions packed for him, ectoplasm and water from the sink.

Cut to, few weeks in.

Danny's got a new routine, he's taken his stitches out, and is still super fucked up, but a lot better than when he arrived. He hasn't been outside since he arrived, but ghosts don't need Vitamin D anyway. Is he slightly depressed? Maybe. But he's also dead, so, bigger priorities.

Tim is looking through his stuff for something or other, and it occurs to him he probably left it next door. He hasn't been to Drake Manor in months, but he sort of really needs this thing, so he sucks it up and borrows a car because like hell is he walking the several miles from this front door to that one.

He goes to his old bedroom, opens the door, and comes face-to-face with himself.

And Danny doesn't know what he's supposed to do in this situation.

Listen, Danny doesn't always make the best decision in the moment. It's a very normal flaw to have! So he tells who can only be Timothy Drake-Wayne himself when asked, that his name is Timothy Drake, and this is his house, and, actually, who are you and how did you get in?

This causes Tim to assume Danny is himself from another dimension who he accidentally dragged to his dimension by messing with the Time Stream to get Bruce back. Danny continues to accidently fuel this misunderstanding without meaning to.

(This is not helped by the fact that a DNA test doesn't disprove this. Danny's DNA is corrupted, but what Tim does get is identical to himself. This is how Danny finds out he was adopted, and how Tim, much later when misunderstandings are cleared, meets the identical twin brother he never knew he had.)

[cryptar]

au where ALL the batkids inherit bruces adopting problem, but it's for kids that remind them of themselves

When a hyper-intelligent juvenile figures out his identity and starts following him around on patrol the only thing Tim can think is that this is karma

Steph sees any spunky kid with a villain parent and a hunger for justice and goes 'mine.'

An angry, bitter kid shows up at the police station and Dick immediately starts teaching them how to juggle

Jason reiterates to himself that he's not anything like bruce while collecting crime alley kids like pokemon cards

The little redheaded techie from Barbaras workplace accidently calls her mom and she nearly cries

When a mute youth with a truly horrible father needs a place to call home, Cass doesn't hesitate when inviting them into hers.

it only makes sense for Duke to take the new meta-vigilante under his wing, right? right??

Damian doesn't realise he's mentally adopted the small, scruffy assassin sent after him until he's reading them a bedtime story.

none of them tell eachother until there's a family reunion and then it's just

[belfry-ghost]

gonna post some doodle dumps bc most of my bigger projects are unfinished or for an event lol

t4t DannyTim (at pride)

Red Hood and Little Baby Man

Danny wearing Superboy merch

halfa!tim sketch

bart + a big teddy bear

dick + tim eating burgers after patrol

[he-said-irene]

Thinking about all the things people say Moby Dick is about and the time I went to a poetry reading at my library and an older man read an (appropriately really long) poem about marathon reading Moby Dick in like 2 days in college for an assignment. It was really neat because he drew a lot of connections to things that never would have occurred to me to say that Moby Dick was “about” - the Vietnam war, civil rights, other things that happened to his friends or himself that were completely foreign experiences to me, but my immediate thought was “This guy GETS it.” Because Moby Dick is, first and foremost, about whatever happens to be going on in your life at the time when you read it. After that it’s about grief.

[xy-is-i]

Just thinking about Dick freaking out over losing his title of best uncle to Jason.

Dick showing up to take Lian out and give Roy a break only to hear she's having a fun day with Jason

Dick walking into the room with the toy he knows Lian really wanted, only to find out Jason got it for her first.

Dick showing up to game night at Roy's only to find Jason already there.

Just Dick getting increasingly frustrated and his rival Jason having no clue well the the rest watch on in humor and exasperation. Roy finds the who thing hilarious.

Picturing it all coming to a head when Dick is babysitting Lian and she shows him a new photo they put up. Dick all dejectivly being like, "look, it's you and your favorite uncle."

The pure shock and joy he feels when Lian tells him he wrong and her favorite uncle is "you uncle Dickie, duh!"

The door opening and Lian shouting "Papa!" As dick turns to excitedly tell Roy what Lian said only to see it's Jason who's holding Lian.

Dick just bluescreening.

[hailsatanacab]

I'm a sucker for Twin Reveals, idk if you know that. So I have to ask about "you're joking, right? gala pranking turned twin reveal"

ngl this is the flavour of the month for me rn, I've really hopped straight back on the demon twins au with a passion! you get 500 words of the intro here because I have no restraint :)

———

Tonight is becoming, as often happens with a gala, a dismal affair.

Bruce has (finally) managed to extract himself from a torturous conversation with Mrs. Johnson, and is allowing himself a quiet breath with a glass of apple juice masquerading as whiskey when someone taps him on his shoulder.

“Mr. Wayne?”

It’s a voice he recognises, despite only meeting the man once. He doesn’t groan—he even resists the urge to throw his glass at him and make a break for it—but it’s a close affair. He’s not Superman, after all, and there’s a limit to his strength.

With a deep breath and the customary ditzy smile of Brucie Wayne plastered on his face, he turns towards Mr. Masters.

Only to immediately freeze.

“Ah, yes, I don’t believe you’ve met.” Mr. Masters turns and presents a young boy to him, gently pushing him forward slightly. His dark hair is ruffled and there’s a thunderous look on his face as he flashes Bruce a glare before stubbornly fixing his gaze back on the floor. “May I introduce to you my son, Daniel Masters?”

This is the fourth gala Vladimir Masters has been to since his reintroduction into high society, only the second one he and Bruce have attended together, and, as Bruce is silently lamenting, there is still so little known about the man. Yet, he doesn’t strike Bruce as someone that would pull a joke like this.

After 20 years locked away in his house suffering from an unnamed illness, his return had been completely unexpected and not entirely welcome, from what Bruce has heard. Too many years spent away shrouded in mystery has people weary about forging new connections, but his recent successes with his business might persuade a few brave—or foolhardy—individuals into making some investments.

Which must be why he’s now back on the gala scene.

Which must be why he’s chosen to become Mayor of a little unknown town in Illinois, as baffling as the choice may be.

Which must be why he’s pulling this stunt. This practical joke. Something to break the ice, to share a laugh with Bruce. To start a conversation.

The only real question is why Damian is going along with it.

“I’m sorry?” Bruce says, chuckling awkwardly.

Poor Damian looks just about ready to pull out a sword and start swinging, so perhaps he’s not as comfortable in going along with it as Bruce first thought. There's a tension in his shoulders, his whole body as taut as a bow string. Did Dick put him up to this? It’s definitely something his eldest would find funny.

“My son, Daniel. Daniel, say hello to Mr. Wayne.” There’s a flash of annoyance in Mr. Masters’ eyes as he gives Damian another nudge to introduce himself.

“Hello, Mr. Wayne.” Damian growls out, eyes still stubbornly lowered, his jaw tensing painfully. His voice sounds different, almost like he’s affecting Mr. Masters’ accent. Just what is he playing at? Bruce is struggling to find the funny side in all this.

Is this a case they’re working on? Not a prank, but rather some investigation that Bruce isn’t privy to? It wouldn’t be the first time his children have kept him out of the loop, but to do it in a gala, and a Wayne gala at that, where they’re sure to be recognised…

No, it has to be a joke. They’re planning to embarrass him, they have to be.

[5-fievel]

Based on this: https://youtu.be/83UASUR5RWU?si=OTHaNcvwheHFDWIM

Bruce: Jason, who’s your favourite Justice League member?

Jason: Wonder Woman, easy

Bruce: Male league member?

Jason: Green Lantern

Dick, catching on: What about one with man in his name

Jason: Superman

Bruce: Doesn’t dress in blue

Jason: Aquaman

Dick: Not an Atlantean

Jason: Deadman

Bruce: No Justice League Dark members

Jason: Plastic Man

Dick: One that has an animal theme?

Jason: Hawkman

Bruce, exasperated: Wears black.

Jason: Nobody comes to mind. Then again, it’s been a while since I’ve seen the updated roster, yknow- with the whole busy crimelord and dying thing.

Bruce: Fine. Favourite Justice League member standing in this very room. Right now.

Jason: Oh! Nightwing.

Bruce: He doesn’t fit all the previous requirements-

Jason, shrugging: Well will you look at that, I guess you’re right. Whoops.

Tim, chiming in: Technically, he fits all of the previous criteria if we count only his Batman days.

[evidenceof]

"You tell them what you always tell them. That their sons died as heroes." "You really still believe that?"

LEWIS NIXON III EP 9 Why We Fight, EP 10 Points | Band of Brothers

[puppetmaster13u]

I just had a thought, fueled by the fact I have a fever probably.

Bruce, Batman, is very mom-coded.

Tony, Iron Man, is very dad-coded.

They should platonically co-parent.

[bruciemilf]

:(( Early Adoption AUs where Dick and Jason kidnap baby Tim is such, such a good trope.

It all started when they were playing in the yard.

They miss Bruce everytime he leaves for a dumb meeting, and if they have to wait outside for him until it darkens, that's what they'll do.

They're having fun. Alfred even allowed them to turn the sprinklers on and get the bathtub toys out. It's not everyday Gotham allows sunshine showers, after all.

Jason spots Tim first.

A mess of dark locks creeping through his pink binoculars. Tim is a small kid. Jason notices the chair behind him. He also notices the inside of his house is fairly empty.

They don't agree on much, not on anything, really.

But they KNOW a baby isn't supposed to look that sad.

Bruce comes home a couple hours later, sighing in relief as moonlight shadows cool down his skin. He practically melts under the sun. Alfred jokes (or at least, Bruce hopes he is) its the vampire genes in him.

Still. He rarely, if ever, sees Alfred nervous.

" Don't you want to tell me about patrol?"

Bruce frowns, " You don't like hearing about it. I have to shower. I can't play with Dickie and Jay if I reek of blood."

" Just go to the other bathroom."

Now, he's suspicious. " In the bathroom you never let me use? Because the boys used it like a water park? The bathroom you've explicitly told me you'll make me an orphan again over?"

Alfred shrugs, " It's a nice bathroom."

There's giggles streaming through his bedroom door and Bruce pauses. He knows exactly how his babies sound when they're happy.

He knows the tell-tale mischief in Dick's bright snickers and Jason's ear popping shriek is Bruce's favorite sound.

But there's another one, smaller and thinner, yet joyful.

He gives Alfred one last look before entering, and the sight freezes him in his tracks.

Right there, there's his boys, drowning in his work suit jackets, with glitter markers smeared all over their eyelids. The bright reds and greens pop around Bruce's eyeliner.

And in the middle of them there's tiny, itty bitty Tim Drake, also smudge-eyed but GLOWING with a toothy grin.

"B!" Dick's eyes are wide, " Uh...So you're probably wondering...About this."

"Hn."

Then, Tim surprises them all when he points a finger at him, " Batman."

Oh, boy.

[jessaerys]

gonna say something so controversial and so brave and that is that joel miller fundamentally does not fuck. that man hasn't fucked in 20 years he's forgotten how. closest he ever got to a sexual thrill was being tess's attack dog and little spoon. they loved each other as best as they could but that was effectively a sexless marriage. what tess meant when she said she never asked him to feel the same way was that once they tried to hook up and joel had a panic attack and tess was like ok we don't have time to unpack all of that and then nonsexually dommed him for 18 years

[wingmotif]

Robin, so confusing Superman Annual #11 / New Teen Titans #20 / RHATO #6 / Dick and Jason both in the Robin suit -- Titans (2018), S1E6 / Batman #140 / Batman #416 / New Teen Titans #31 / Battle For the Cowl #3 / RHATO Annual #1

[kneesocktango]

if you skip the cetology chapters of Moby Dick you are depriving yourself of absolute gems such as Ishmael saying with full confidence that he believes the story of St. George and the Dragon was actually about St. George fighting a whale while riding on a seal's back, asserting that whales are fish instead of mammals in spite of what scientists say, and claiming he once saw his head smoking while thinking deeply about the concept of eternity