#who found the incorrect quotes generator????

[yeah-no-idontregretanything]

Bruce : Clark ...

Clark : Oh no, 'Clark ' in b-flat.

Clark : You're disappointed.

[madlori]

On Tommy Kinard

"It's not that I don't like Buck and Tommy, it's just happening so fast, he's underdeveloped!"

*clears throat*

Here is a recap of what we know about Tommy. And this is just off the top of my head, I didn't rewatch anything.

He was closeted at the 118 before and found the atmosphere repressive. He (probably) acted like a dick to fit in. When presented with the chance to make things better, he took it, and developed positive relationships with Hen, Chim and Bobby.

He was in the army and trained there as a pilot.

He knows Muay Thai and has a set up in his house.

He likes to work on cars and has a lift at his house (where TF does he live is my question - he has some nerve being agog at Buck's loft if he has a muay thai gym and a car lift)

He is down for violating departmental policy at the drop of a hat (has done so on at least two occasions) to help a friend and has no problems fucking with the fire chief.

He is a nerd. He likes pub trivia and has incorrect Star Wars opinions, and can keep up with Chim in the movie-quoting department.

His favorite movie is "Love, Actually" and he likes craft beer and monster trucks.

He came out when he transferred to Harbor and felt comfortable enough to stop lying about who he was.

He follows MMA and has friends in Vegas who like him well enough to hook him up to a frankly insane degree.

He'll risk his own life and engage in helicopter skulduggery to save people he doesn't know...I mean, apart from doing that for a living.

He'll take time out of his day to give a tour to the cute boy who called him up and offer to give that boy flying lessons (a significant time investment) which was probably maybe about more one on one time with said boy.

He yearns for the belonging and found family that the 118 became after his departure and probably befriended Eddie hoping to earn a plate at the cookout, aside from just clicking with him.

He likes Eddie and Chris a lot and they like him. Chimney also likes him.

He was attracted to Buck right away and was emotionally aware enough to pick up on Buck's jealous feelings over Eddie and his friendship, even if he was surprised that it was him Buck wanted to get to know.

He respects and values Buck and Eddie's friendship and wanted to make sure Buck knew that.

He's brave enough to shoot his shot by planting one on a dude.

He's a lil bitchy but also generous and ready to throw in with this insane guy who's inviting him to a family wedding after 0.5 dates.

He showed up to a bachelor party when he was on call because Buck asked him to, then showed up in turnouts after fighting a fire for like 12 hours yadda yadda we all know this part.

He has got it BAD for one Evan Buckley, who he only calls "Evan" which according to LFJR is a conscious decision by the writers, which fascinates me.

He was willing to take a chance with a man just discovering his sexuality BUT wasn't willing to put himself through that if the man in question wasn't ready for it. When Buck showed him that he was, he was all in.

He does NOT take his coffee like that.

Oh and

He's a beast.

This is VASTLY more information than we knew about ANY of Buck's previous girlfriends with the possible exception of Abby. Even Taylor did not get this much development over 20 episodes (things we knew about her: she was an ambitious and ethically flexible reporter, did not eat fudge, had a dad in jail, and sometimes jogged for exercise, she was capable of being nice and did love Buck, I believe). And as for it being fast? Sometimes it just be like that? A relationship doesn't have to have year(s) of buildup. Sometimes people do just meet, like each other, and start dating, in fact in the real world that's usually what happens. It's in TV Land that you have to have eighteen seasons of UST before pulling the trigger. Most of the time in reality people just vibe off each other and decide to go out and THEN they learn about each other.

And they've got a great start. You'd think they'd barely spoken by how a few naysayers are talking about it - the loft scene was like a solid five minutes of very open conversation, the Cringe Date seemed to have gone well and again, open and honest (if cringey) conversation before Cockblocker Eddie showed up, and the coffee meetup was again....open and honest conversation. They're not gonna show us long scenes of them exchanging firefighting stories and workout preferences (I mean, I'd watch that, but it's not what the show is about).

In conclusion, anyone saying he's poorly developed or the relationship is "out of nowhere" either is being willfully obtuse or has ridiculously unrealistic expectations for relationships and/or what constitutes character development.

As for whether they have chemistry, that's a matter of subjective opinion. Given that a TON of people watched that harbor tour scene (even when it was posted as a sneak peek) and started going "wait...what's going on here...are they flirting??" might be a clue. People were talking about Bi!Buck maybe happening with Tommy based solely off that clip of the harbor tour and what they were seeing between them. And imho that loft scene was crackling. But we all see things through the lenses of our biases, myself included.

Got that off my chest, whew.

[starry-bi-sky]

Incorrect Quotes for the Blood Blossom Au - DPXDC

Original Post Context Here but TL:DR - Vlad poisons (orphan) Danny with blood blossom. He runs off, finds Pre-Robin Battinson, Battinson saves his life. Danny is currently staying with him until the time being. Batdad all around, found family, woo!

————————

Bruce after giving Danny an antidote: poof. Just like that, the toxin’s gone

Blood Blossom, not gone just sedated: wrong! toxin’s right here you fucking brussel sprout

————————

Vlad at a gala while his godson is (allegedly) missing: Mister Wayne! A pleasure to meet you, I wanted to speak with you about hopefully setting up a deal between our brands—

Battinson, currently housing his (allegedly) missing godson: I don’t like you.

Vlad: —and it’d be a— i’m sorry?

Battinson, louder: I don’t. Like. You.

Vlad:

Bruce:

Vlad: If you could tell me what I did to offend you--

Battinson, with the intensity of a thousand suns: No.

————————

Danny: 🧿🧿

Bruce: 🧿🧿

Danny: 🧿🧿

Alfred, in the corner: Can you two socialize like normal people

————————

Danny: gun to your head, who would you rather kiss: riddler or the joker

Bruce:

Bruce: gun to my head?

Danny: gun to your head, yes.

Bruce, without missing a beat: pull the trigger

————————

Danny (is currently unaware Bruce = Bruce Wayne): hey Vlad's planning on poaching Mr. Wayne's company out from underneath his nose, would you be able to prevent Mr. Wayne from making any deals with him? Or just in general from being alone with him?

Bruce, realizing Danny doesn't know he's Bruce Wayne:

Bruce: ...yes.

————————

(Danny and Bruce are leaving Wayne Enterprises, Danny is wearing a face mask and obscuring most of his identity. There's a swarm of paparazzi at the doors)

Bruce:

Danny:

Danny: there's an open window on the first floor bathroom

Bruce, immediately turning on his heel: mh. mhm.

————————

Aunt Alicia:

Bruce:

Aunt Alicia:

Bruce:

Bruce 🤝 Aunt Alicia: "Vlad Masters can go fuck himself" club

————————

Bonus! Because looking at it makes me giggle and I think it needs to be shared

POV: You're Alfred living with two of the most socially awkward people in Gotham. Now with biblically accurate heights!

[perenlop]

i feel like isat is sadly sorta cursed in a way, because i get the vibe that some people dismiss it for “fandom bait” because “lol you got the himbo and the tumblr bait and the obligatory cute kid” or whatever because of the artstyle and the writing. which sucks because the game debunks all of it and is a very anti “forcing nuclear family roles and reducing characters to fanon stereotypes” game. it looks you in the eye and shames you for thinking isabeau is a shallow himbo. but because fanon in general dictates that yes, we DO need a himbo type and a mom type and a quirky random XD character and a Meanie and [mirabelle just being irrelevant or demonized], people who run those incorrect quote blogs or meme blogs or people who always insist canon is worthless to fanon will ignore those elements of the game for the sake of making the next “who broke it?” skit work. so they can make all the same jokes and dynamics with the characters they slot every other fandom “found family” dynamic into. and then people who havent played the game just see all of that and go “well isat just looks like shallow tumblr bait” and its like a cruel ouroboros in that way. idk odile use paper alpha 5 im tired of this

[nonbinarylocalcryptid]

*rubbing my hands with mischief* guess who found an incorrect quotes generator

So here is a compilation of incorrect quotes from the Astyanax lives/daddy Odysseus AU

Odysseus: Once Astyanax thanked me and I couldn’t decide between “No problem!” and “No worries!” so I yelled “No worms!” to them as they walked away.

--

Astyanax, smol, facing a threat: I am in charge of this disaster!

Odysseus: I have a name, you know.

Astyanax, smol, a little shit: Polyphemus knows

Odysseus: ...

The threat: HAHAHAHAHA

--

Astyanax: Hey Odysseus, can I get some ice-cream?

Odysseus: Only a spoonful!

Astyanax: *Proceeds to pull out a comically large spoon.*

Odysseus: ...

Odysseus, tearing up: that's my boy

--

Astyanax, looking at Odysseus: Okay, so I need to become a therapist faster.

Odysseus: I hEaR tHaT

--

Astyanax when he's told about the whole horse thing, looking at Odysseus: What doesn't kill me better start running, because now I'm fucking pissed.

--

Astyanax, at Odysseus: Of course you have blood all over you, and pronouns.

Odysseus: I use he/him pronouns...?

Astyanax: FOR THE LAST TIME, EVERYONE HAS PRONOUNS...

--

Astyanax: But when all hope seemed lost, I had an epiphany!

Astyanax, earlier while Odysseus was messing up (again): I'm going to throw myself into the sea.

--

Astyanax "I was raised by Odysseus what did you expect" of Troy: I don’t know the first thing about clothes. Pretty much all I can do is look at something and tell you if it’s clothes or not. This chair? Not clothes. That barrel? Not clothes. That middle-aged man who invaded Troy? Not clothes.

--

Astyanax: Wow, great work on the Halloween decorations. Where did you get the fake skeletons?

Odysseus: Fake?

Astyanax: ...

--

Odysseus: We'll talk about this later.

Astyanax: Fine, I won’t be listening.

--

Odysseus: I will beat all of you in Rock, Paper, Scissors. You go first.

Astyanax: Rock.

Odysseus: Paper.

Astyanax: ...

Odysseus: First rule, never trust anybody

--

Astyanax: I am going to need you to swear-

Odysseus: Fuck.

Astyanax:

Astyanax: ...swear as in promise.

--

Astyanax: Don't have a bookmark? Try ketchup instead!!

Odysseus: What makes you think I read?

Astyanax: ...right, my mistake, that explains a lot of things.

Odysseus: now I'm offended

Astyanax: like the time I was offended by a wooden horse?

Odysseus: ...

--

Odysseus: So, I've been thinking Astyanax-

Astyanax, young but tired of this bs: That's dangerous.

--

Odysseus: Damn, the power went out.

Astyanax: Don’t worry, I got this.

Astyanax: *stomps foot*

Odysseus: What-?

Astyanax: *Sketchers light up*

--

Odysseus: Hoodie pockets are so great. I can fit like three sandwiches and a grenade in there and my hands are still warm.

Astyanax, looking at the sea: I wish Poseidon would take me now

--

Odysseus: The joy of hanging out with Astyanax. You look away for 5 seconds to make sure something is set up correctly, and he bites the tip of a marker off.

--

Odysseus: I should have left you on that street corner where you were standing

Astyanax: bUt YoU dIdN't

--

Astyanax: Odysseus, when’s your birthday?

Odysseus "I'm still thinking about the infant from that night" of Ithaca: Why? So you can look up my natal chart? So you can figure out my weaknesses? So you can destroy me?

Astyanax: …So I know when to wish you a happy birthday.

Have some Odysseus and Hermes, as a treat:

Odysseus: Hi, I'm Hermes's emergency contact.

Counter Woman: You're here to pick him up?

Odysseus: I'm here to remove myself as his emergency contact.

[betelgeusx3s-badfanfiction]

Beetlejuice, texting Y/N: Y/N! Help I’m being kidnapped Y/N: *Where are you?* Beetlejuice: I’m with some strange person. In a car. Help. Y/N: I’ll call Lydia. Lydia, answering their cell: Y’ello? Y/N: Where’s Beetlejuice? They texted me that they were being kidnapped. Lydia: Beetlejuice? Whaddya mean, they're right next to me- Lydia: ... Lydia: I’ll call you back. *hangs up* Lydia: THE NEW HAIRCUT ISN’T THAT BAD! Beetlejuice: WHO ARE YOU?!

I found an incorrect quotes generator it was funny sorry... i may add more..

Delias name i was drawing a blank

Beetlejuice: Good morning. Y/N: Good morning. Lydia: Good morning. Daphne: You all sound like robots, try spicing it up a bit. Adam: MORNING MOTHERFUCKERS

^i think i have seen this one

[theoutcastrogue]

A handful of people in Pompeii that were killed by the devastating eruption of Mount Vesuvius in 79 are not who experts thought they were, according to a team of researchers that recently collected DNA from the individuals’ remains. The team’s findings—published today in Current Biology—spotlight previous incorrect conclusions about relationships between the residents of Pompeii and reveals new insights about the demographics of the Ancient Roman port city. “We show that the large genetic diversity with significant influences from the Eastern Mediterranean was not only a phenomenon in the metropolis of Rome during Imperial times but extends to the much smaller city of Pompeii, which underscores the cosmopolitan and multi-ethnic nature of Roman society,” said Alissa Mittnik, an archaeogeneticist at the Max Planck Institute for Evolutionary Anthropology and Harvard University, and co-author of the study [...] Demographically, the team found that five individuals in Pompeii weren’t so genetically associated with modern-day Italians and Imperial-period Etruscans as they were to groups from the eastern Mediterranean, the Levant, and North Africa—specifically North African Jewish populations. Pompeii was an important port in first-century Rome, so it’s not a huge surprise that it had representation from across the Mediterranean—but the genetic stories of the studied individuals verifies it. [...] “This study illustrates how unreliable narratives based on limited evidence can be, often reflecting the worldview of the researchers at the time.” One particularly famous set of remains revisited by the team is that of an adult with a golden bracelet and a child—the child being on the adult’s lap. Long interpreted as a mother and child, the remains actually belong to an unrelated male and a child.

"Unrelated." This gutted me, for some reason. Reminded me of Watchmen and what I think are some of the most memorable panels in the history of comics.

There's a catastrophe, a colossal explosion, a disaster that we know claims the lives of millions. We know it's happening, we know there's a "psychic shockwave" involved. And there's two people we've been casually following from the start of the story, ordinary people in the street, unlike all those costumed heroes running around. They're not very good and they're not very bad. They're just people. One is an old man running a news-stand, the other is a young kid who reads pirate comics. They don't like each other. They're rude to each other, generation gap and all. Two minutes ago they learned they share a name, and managed to share an almost kind word, and they're about to start fighting again. They're just people, right? And then the disaster happens. We don't see it yet. The blood and gore will be witnessed in the next issue. For now, the background fades to white, and we only see them.

They drop what they're holding, they hug, the old man puts his arms protectively around the young kid, and they fade. They fade into the shape of the Watchmen logo, ubiquitous throughout the comic, and then they fade out. White panel. There's nothing left. And off-panel, the Ozymandias quote.

Watchmen primarily aimed to evoke nuclear war, and the "psychic shockwave" clearly stands for the blast of a thermonuclear explosion. What makes the sequence gut-wrenching is the hug (so tender and so futile), the fade-to-white (a negative space so understated and so enormous), and the penultimate panel: an after-image frozen in time, declaring forever "once there were people here". Just like the plaster casts of Pompeii, just like the stones of Hiroshima.

Hiroshima, August 6th, 1945: the shadow of a person who was disintegrated at the moment of the blast. The steps and the wall were burned white, except the portion that was shielded by the person's body. (These steps were cut out and are now inside the Hiroshima Peace Park museum.) Photo by Yoshito Matsushige, whose films were confiscated and didn't get printed until the U.S. occupation ended in Japan in April 1952.

[ailesswhumptober]

Hi. I definitely felt refreshed reading your hard stance and information on ai in your pinned, but irrelevant to that, I only found your blog today and I feel like I missed something with AI and whumptober. Can I learn about that? I hope my language makes sense.

In the late summer of 2023, an anonymous user asked the Whumptober blog if AI-generated content would be allowed for the event. This anon did not come from any of us, nor do we know who originally send this ask, but one of us did see Whumptober's response which kickstarted this entire thing.

Whumptober responded that they would not be disallowing AI because they "do not want to police how other people create things" and "didn't want to exclude anybody" but that they would "discourage" AI-generated content "because it feels like cheating" (all direct quotes).

Myself, the other mods, and several more people, were very disappointed in this stance. several of us started replying to the post and got into a back-and-forth with the Whumptober mods about why AI-generated content is harmful and bad. These posts and replies have since been mostly deleted by the Whumptober blog, nor do we want to rehash the entire thing, but some of the stances that Whumptober took that really rubbed us wrong were (again with direct quotes):

"AI-generated content is not art theft". When pointed out that these sorts of applications very much scrape content without consent, Whumptober claimed that it's the AI that steals then, not the person who uses the AI. They also claimed that since the AI already scraped the content, you "might as well use it", that defending against AI scraping is "going down on an already burning hill" and that "if you don't want your content scraped/stolen, just don't post it online". We found these very concerning statements from an event made by and for creators.

"AI-generated content is a fandom issue and nobody in the real world is harmed by it". This is, obviously, factually incorrect. When we pointed out real creators in many creative industries are being hit hard because of AI-generation, they said "that's capitalism's fault, not AI-generation" (???) and they also told us to "touch grass".

"These sort of AIs are an accessibility tool for the disabled, so disliking them is ableism". Again, this is incorrect. They tried to liken it to predictive text or spell check. We pointed out that there's a vast difference between those machine learning tools and actually generative AI that subsides on scraped content. We said disabled people (many of whom were involved in the back-and-forth) are sick of being used as a strawman by tech bros. They then said "real disabled people probably feel differently" which was a slap in the face, and honestly the thing that still is the most horrible to me about this whole thing.

This is the point where Whumptober started to block a bunch of us and delete asks/replies. They made a post that falsely made it seem like we were harassing and bullying them for saying that they "couldn't check every single entry for AI-generated content". We pointed out multiple times that we absolutely did not expect them to, since we're very aware that with the size of the Whumptober event, it would be impossible. We'd just like them to say 'AI-generated content is not allowed and it's art theft' but apparently they didn't want to.

After this one of the mods DMed me and asked me to send them some resources on why AI-generated content and scraping AI is bad, so they could educate themselves. We spent several minutes collecting sources (some linked in our pinned). They said the Whumptober mods would read them, and then come to a standpoint. But then within less than a minute of us sending the links, they deleted the remaining posts involved in the debate, and just told us they were sticking to their standpoint that "We will not police how people create things, we'll just discourage people by not reblogging it". They also added to their pinned that they won't ever respond to any asks about AI-generated content again. So that was that.

Somewhere during the argument, the Whumptober mods told us that if we disliked their stance so much, we should just make our own event. So we did.

(Edit to add: regardless on if whumptober does change their policy, we never received any sort of acknowledgement or apology of the above and we will keep running this event for whoever wants to.)

[midnightecko]

Again- names in an incorrect quote generator

BUT THIS TIME BATFAMILY

----

Jason: Pros and cons of dating me.

Jason: Pros. You'll be the cute one.

Jason: Cons. Holy shit, where do I begin-

----

Jason: Everyone, calm down! We're grown-ups, let's deal with this like adults!

Steph: So, we're just going to wing it and hope for the best?

Jason: Obviously. Now, Damian, pass the shovel.

----

*Tim and Damian are planning to break in somewhere*

Tim: We need to distract the guards.

Damian: Right.

Tim: What are we gonna do?

Damian: I'm gonna break their elbows while you poke their eyes.

Tim:

Damian:

Tim: Deal.

----

Jason: But who gets which pencil?

Damian: Since they're my things, I get the good one, Steph gets the broken one and you don't get one because fuck you.

----

Steph: I’ve never smoked marijuana. I ate a brownie once at a party. It was intense. It was kind of indescribable. I felt like I was floating. Turns out there was no pot in the brownie. It was just an insanely good brownie.

----

Steph: Did you have to stab them?

Damian: You weren’t there. You didn’t hear what they said to me.

Steph: What did they say?

Damian: "What are you going to do, stab me?"

Steph: That’s fair.

----

Cass, looking over Damian’s shoulder: You can draw?

Damian, stopping what they were doing: You can speak?

----

Some random kid that they saved: They called me the B-word.

Damian: Motherfucker doesn’t start with ‘b’.

----

Duke: I’m a bad person, I’m a very bad person, I’m a horrible person.

The Squad:

Duke: No you’re not, Duke! We still love you, Duke!

----

Dick: Guess who just found out the difference between wax paper and parchment paper the hard way?

Steph: Wait, what’s the difference?

Dick: One you can use in the oven safely, and the other you can also use in the oven... if the thing you are trying to make happens to be fire.

----

Jason: Hi, I'm Jason, and only you can prevent forest fires... seriously, it has to be you. I'm sure as hell not gonna do it.

----

Bruce: Breaking News, Jason has disappointed us.

(And this one is just funny)

[mayflora-18]

Incorrect CoD Quotes #3

Gaz: Are you okay?

Price: [hurriedly pushing his intestines back into his body]

Price: Yeah, why did you ask?

~~~>

Graves: Can I get a ride home?

Soap: [stepping into the driver’s seat of a car]

Soap: I don’t have a car.

~~~>

Police Officer: What are your names?

Nikolai: Don’t tell him, John.

Police Officer, writing: John.

Nikolai: Oh shit.

Price: Nice job, Nik.

Police Officer: John and Nik.

Price: FUCK!

~~~>

Sherlock: Am I going too far?

Laswell: No, no, no. You went too far about seven hours ago. Now you’re going to prison.

~~~>

Soap: *Can’t find Price* Guess this calls for desperate measures.

Soap: *Yells out* CAPTAIN PRICE SUCKS!!!

Nikolai: What the FUCK DID YOU SAY?!

Laswell: WHO SAID THAT?!

Gaz: FIGHT ME!

Alex and Farah: *looking to see who said that*

Ghost: WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU SAY?!?! COME FIGHT ME! I FREAKING DARE YOU! WHO SAID THAT!

Soap: Damn…

Sherlock: *has been standing next to Soap the whole time and is mildly amused *

Sherlock: Can I try?

Soap: *throws his hands up in defeat* Be my guest.

Sherlock: *Yells out* GENERAL SHEPHERD IS A LITTLE BITCH!

Price: DAMN STRAIGHT HE IS!

Soap: What the shite?!

Sherlock: Found him!

~~~>

Sherlock: If you bite it and you die, it’s poisonous. If it bites you and you die, it’s venomous.

Graves: What if it bites me and it dies?

Soap: That means you’re poisonous. Steaming Jesus, Graves, learn to listen.

Farah: What if it bites itself and I die?

Gaz: That’s voodoo.

Alejandro: What if it bites me and someone else dies?

Rudy: That’s correlation, not causation.

Alex: What if we bite each other and neither of us die?

Nikolai: That’s kinky.

Price: Oh my God.

~~~>

Price: I’ve only had Gaz for a day and a half. But if anything were to happen to him, I will kill everyone in this room and then myself.

Gaz: *is moved* 🥺

Ghost: Very violent, I like it.

~~~~~~~~>THANKS FOR READING!!!<~~~~~~~~

[poppitron360]

More quotes from this RANDOM INCORRECT QUOTES GENERATOR that I found- THIS TIME VALGRACE:

0]-_🔥-_[0]-_⚡️-_ [0]-_🔥-_[0]-_⚡️-_ [0]-_🔥-_[0]-_⚡️-_[0

Leo: What do you want to be for Halloween?

Jason: Yours.

Leo:

Leo: …yeah, that would be pretty scary.

0]-_🔥-_[0]-_⚡️-_ [0]-_🔥-_[0]-_⚡️-_ [0]-_🔥-_[0]-_⚡️-_[0

Jason: Stop doing that.

Leo: Stop doing what?

Jason: Saying things that make me wanna kiss the hell out of you.

0]-_🔥-_[0]-_⚡️-_ [0]-_🔥-_[0]-_⚡️-_ [0]-_🔥-_[0]-_⚡️-_[0

Leo: I can't take this anymore, someone needs to take me out!

Jason: In a dating type of way, or an assassination type of way?

Leo: I don't know, surprise me!

0]-_🔥-_[0]-_⚡️-_ [0]-_🔥-_[0]-_⚡️-_ [0]-_🔥-_[0]-_⚡️-_[0

Leo: Pros and cons of dating me.

Leo: Pros. You'll be the cute one.

Leo: Cons. Holy shit, where do I begin-

0]-_🔥-_[0]-_⚡️-_ [0]-_🔥-_[0]-_⚡️-_ [0]-_🔥-_[0]-_⚡️-_[0

Jason, trying to flirt: So, you come around here often?

Leo, confused: I mean, this is my house, so yeah.

0]-_🔥-_[0]-_⚡️-_ [0]-_🔥-_[0]-_⚡️-_ [0]-_🔥-_[0]-_⚡️-_[0

Leo: How do I tell Jason that I want him to yell at me like he’s Gordon Ramsay and I'm a poor little chef who just ruined a crème brûlée?

0]-_🔥-_[0]-_⚡️-_ [0]-_🔥-_[0]-_⚡️-_ [0]-_🔥-_[0]-_⚡️-_[0

Leo: Let’s watch Sharkboy and Lavagirl.

Jason: Okay.

Leo: And make out during the scary parts.

Jason: Th-

Jason: The scary parts.

Jason: Of Sharkboy and Lavagirl.

0]-_🔥-_[0]-_⚡️-_ [0]-_🔥-_[0]-_⚡️-_ [0]-_🔥-_[0]-_⚡️-_[0

Jason (about Leo): I would never say that my husband is a bitch and I don’t like him. That’s not true… My husband is a bitch and I like him so much!

0]-_🔥-_[0]-_⚡️-_ [0]-_🔥-_[0]-_⚡️-_ [0]-_🔥-_[0]-_⚡️-_[0

Leo: Okay, but what if we went to dinner not as friends this time?

Jason: AS ENEMIES?!

Leo:

0]-_🔥-_[0]-_⚡️-_ [0]-_🔥-_[0]-_⚡️-_ [0]-_🔥-_[0]-_⚡️-_[0

Leo: Are you an F5 key? Because that ass is refreshing.

Jason: Are you a software update? because not right now.

0]-_🔥-_[0]-_⚡️-_ [0]-_🔥-_[0]-_⚡️-_ [0]-_🔥-_[0]-_⚡️-_[0

Jason *Holding up a pack of pens*: Look at how cute these pens are!

Leo: Jason that’s gay.

Jason:

Jason: Leo, we’ve been dating for-

0]-_🔥-_[0]-_⚡️-_ [0]-_🔥-_[0]-_⚡️-_ [0]-_🔥-_[0]-_⚡️-_[0

Jason: This date is boring!

Leo: This isn't a date. I said I was going to the store.

Jason: Then why did you invite me?

Leo: I didnt, I specifically said "don't come with me," then you said, "fuck you Leo I'll do whatever I want!

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Jason: I don't know how to tell you this, but... I love you.

Leo: That's great, Jason. Especially considering the fact we've been married for 6 fucking years.

(Basically the plot of my Married Valgrace AU that I’ve been writing)

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Jason: If I'm extra sarcastic with you it probably means I'm flirting with you or you really annoy me and I can't handle your crap... have fun figuring out which one.

0]-_🔥-_[0]-_⚡️-_ [0]-_🔥-_[0]-_⚡️-_ [0]-_🔥-_[0]-_⚡️-_[0

Leo: Can I have 2 straws with that milkshake?

Jason: Aww-

Leo: With 2 straws, I can drink it double as fast!

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Leo: Fight me!

Jason: *gets on one knee and pulls out a ring*

Jason: Fight me for the rest of our lives.

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Jason: Two bros!

Leo: Chillin' in a hot tub!

Jason and Leo, in unison: Zero feet apart 'cause we're GAY AS FUCK!

0]-_🔥-_[0]-_⚡️-_ [0]-_🔥-_[0]-_⚡️-_ [0]-_🔥-_[0]-_⚡️-_[0

Jason: When I was young, I left a trail of broken hearts like a rockstar. I'm not proud of it.

Leo: You're kind of proud of it. You work it into a lot of conversations.

0]-_🔥-_[0]-_⚡️-_ [0]-_🔥-_[0]-_⚡️-_ [0]-_🔥-_[0]-_⚡️-_[0

Jason: Did you know you remind me of all 26 letters of the alphabet?

Leo: What? Like J F K W S Q X-

Jason: No, like, U R A Q T.

Leo: Awwww!

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Jason: Ugh, crushes are so dumb.

Leo: I know. Whenever I’m near the person I like I just start acting stupid.

Jason: But you’re always acting stupid?

Leo: ...

Leo: Yeah, don’t think about that too hard.

0]-_🔥-_[0]-_⚡️-_ [0]-_🔥-_[0]-_⚡️-_ [0]-_🔥-_[0]-_⚡️-_[0

Jason: Okay, but if your not gay then why are you always holding my hand and kissing me and telling me I’m your boyfriend?

Leo: Dude- Its satire!

Jason: THAT'S NOT WHAT SATIRE MEANS!

0]-_🔥-_[0]-_⚡️-_ [0]-_🔥-_[0]-_⚡️-_ [0]-_🔥-_[0]-_⚡️-_[0

Jason: I want to kiss you.

Leo, not paying attention: What?

Jason: I said if you die, I wont miss you.

@euryvices I was literally in the middle of writing this when you posted your hcs and I had to tag you.

[yunxi-11085]

Incorrect Prompts Time~

note ¡ this is my first time using incorrect quotes generator but I find it funny so I wanted to try something out :D

prompt 1 ¡ dan heng x caelus x gn! reader (w/ troublemaker caelus & you??

"Dan heng : hey, keep an eye on Caelus today. He's going to say something to the wrong person and get punched.

You: Sure, I'd love to see Caelus get punched.

Dan heng : Try again.

You, sighing : I will stop caelus from getting punched."

prompt 2 ¡ march 7th & stelle x gn! reader (w/ two girls fighting for your love

March 7th trying to ask you out : Would you like to stay for dinner?

Stelle : WOULD YOU LIKE TO STAY FOREVER?

prompt 3 ¡ gepard & sampo x gn! reader (all three of you living together & you being a funny lil troublemaker??

Gepard: What time is it?

You: I don’t know; pass me that saxophone and we’ll find out

You: *Plays sax loudly and extremely out of tune*

Sampo: WHO THE FUCK IS PLAYING THE SAXOPHONE AT TWO IN THE MORNING

You: It’s 2 am

prompt 4 ¡ Jing Yuan x gn! reader (enemies to lovers trope??

Jing Yuan: So are we flirting right now?

You: I AM LITERALLY STABBING YOU

Jing Yuan: That doesn’t answer my question

prompt 5 ¡ blade x gn! reader (modern au ex-criminal blade??

Blade: Look. I may not be a saint, but it's not like I’ve killed anybody. I’m not an arsonist. I’ve never found a wallet outside of an IHOP and thought about returning it but saw the owner lived out of state so just took the cash and dropped the wallet back on the ground.

You: Okay, that's really specific, and that makes me think that you definitely did do that.

prompt 6 ¡ luocha x gn! reader (always injured reader & doctor luocha

Luocha: WHAT’S YOUR TYPE

you: Anything, honestly, but nerds especially

Luocha, desperately, as you bleeds out: YOUR BLOOD TYPE

you: Oh! B positive.

Luocha: DONT TRY TO CHEER ME UP JUST TELL ME YOUR BLOOD TYPE

you:

prompt 7 ¡ welt yang x gn! reader (troublemaker reader w/ father/lover/sibling mr. yang??)

Welt Yang: Sorry it took me so long to bail you out of jail

you: No it’s my fault, I shouldn’t’ve used my one phone call to prank call the police

feel free to request these prompts in my ask or the comments I'd be happy to write a whole fic for them LMAOO

you can ask for stories w/ prns if you want to!

I'm gonna do more of these incorrect quotes for funsies hehe

[watarfallar]

Who's everyone's favourite team-up this season? Anyways, have more incorrect quotes in preparation for the chaos in session 3 tomorrow!

Cleo, singing: He's making a list, checking it twice, gonna find out who's on thin fucking ice Scott, also singing: Santa Claus is calling you out!

Lizzie: Yeah I'm LGBT. Lizzie: cuLt leader. Lizzie: God hates me personally. Lizzie: cowBoy hat. Lizzie: *sniffles* Trying my best.

Etho: Aren’t you going to say “have a nice day?�� Bdubs: I don’t care if you have a pulse, much less a nice day.

Ren: What's worse than a heartbreak? Joel: Waking up in the morning and your phone wasn't charging. Skizz: Waking up in the morning. BigB: Waking up.

Joel: That's not funny. Lizzie: I thought it was funny. Joel: You don't count. You started laughing in the middle of a funeral because you started thinking of a meme you saw on Facebook.

Gem: Play to your strengths. Impulse: I haven’t got any!

Scott: You know, Pearl, when you generalize, you tell general... lies. Pearl: ... Pearl: Are you trying to teach me moral lessons through puns.

Mumbo: You're not my friend anymore. BigB: I was your friend?

Pearl: I haven't seen Gem and Tango for fifteen minutes now. *Outside a nearby window, a car without a driver inside is seen rolling down a driveway, with Gem and Tango running after it in a panic. Pearl doesn't look outside at all.* Pearl: That probably means they're getting into trouble.

Cleo: Would it be discrimination to only hire employees at my doughnut shop who have the same name? Ren: Legally, I don't believe that breaches any discrimination laws. Morally though... I don't know. Cleo: I believe god is on my side when it comes to Duncans' Doughnuts.

Cleo: I want a bf. Scott: Do you mean best friend, boyfriend or bread feast? Because you’re being really vague here.

Mumbo: You either buckle down and do your work or you’ll end up at McDonalds. Skizz: We're going to McDonalds if I don't do my work? Mumbo: NO-

Jimmy: It is 6:09 . Jimmy: I am wondering why I’m still alive. Jimmy: Send Wendy’s. Scott: The whole restaurant?!

Grian: What is this!? Etho: That’s the weight of guilt. Give in to the nice side. Help those unfortunate, and make the guilt go away, my friend. Grian: Ow! Make it stop! Etho: Surrender to your kindness, Grian. It’s nice to be nice. Grian: Your guilt is strong, my friend. But it is no match for the power of my selfishness!

Cleo, to Joel: Are you peanuts? Because I want to boil you alive.

Scar: If I didn't know better, Grian, I'd say you were scared. Grian: Heh, scared? *absolute silence* Grian: DID YOU HEAR THAT?!

Grian: What are you up to today? Mumbo: Nothing. Grian: But you did that yesterday! Mumbo:I wasn’t finished.

Scott: Why aren't there friend pick up lines? Pick up lines to make friends like- Scott, to Pearl: Hey, that's a cute outfit. You know where it would look better? On nobody else, because you're a beautiful individual. Ren, to Impulse: Be my friend or I'll set your entire family on fire. Scar: There are two types of people.

BigB: FUCK THE CHAIR. PARDON ME FOR MAKING MYSELF COMFORTABLE DURING A SINCERE HEART TO HEART DISCUSSION WITH A DEAR FRIEND IN NEED! BigB: BUT THE TIME HAS COME FOR ME TO CEASE STRADDLING THIS DEEPLY OFFENSIVE PIECE OF FURNITURE! AWAY WITH YE, FOUR LEGGED TEMPTRESS! DISTRACT US NO MORE WITH THE MOST BASIC AND UTILITARIAN FORM OF COMFORT YOU SUPPLY! Cleo: BigB just threw a tantrum about a chair. Cleo: I just won BigB Tantrum Bingo.

Jimmy, gardening: Hey, can you bring me the hoe? Ren: Yeah, sure. *A few minutes later* Ren: Here you go. Jimmy: Ren: Joel: Why am I here?

Jimmy: What are the hardest things to say? Grian: I was wrong. Martyn: I need help. Skizz: Worcestershire sauce.

Scar: Last night I found out Bdubs is a sleep talker. Cleo: Oh, really? Scar: "The mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell." Right. In. My. Ear. At 3am.

[youling-the-ghost]

sfth incorrect quotes pt.6 because somehow I'm the most productive in the middle of the night (the generator)

Tom: Why is there blood everywhere?

Luke: I may have aggressively poked someone with a knife. Tom: You stabbed someone?! Luke: No, no. I aggressively poked someone with a knife. AJ: Hey, what are you reading? Sam: This is my magic book where any ink spilled shows a scripture of the future, however it bears a curse making it broken, and as such in order to make any scripture appears, I have to do it myself. AJ: Impressive! I must have it for myself! Tom: So it’s just a Notebook? Sam: It’s just a Notebook. Tom: I’ve become a bread crumb dealer to four crows at the lake. They pay me with a bit of everything. Like shiny things, fabric, or pens. But recently they paid me with a 20 dollar bill they found somewhere. So I decided to buy them some more expensive bread. They loved it. So they understand what to do. Give me money. I’ve probably racked up about 200 dollars at this point. Is it morally wrong though, I mean. They’re the ones who steal the money from others. Or perhaps they just have a big pile laying somewhere. Should I keep on doing this? Luke: You sound like the start of a Batman villain.

Tom: I'm going to take a shower, I'll be right back. Luke: Why are you telling me this, I don't care. Luke, right after Tom leaves the room: I miss him already. Luke: Assert your dominance over your friends by kicking them in the face, and then giving them a little smooch on the forehead! Luke: You don't think I can fight because of my height! Sam: I don't think you can fight because you're in a wedding dress. For what it's worth, I don't think Tom can fight in that dress either. Tom: Perhaps not. But I would make a radiant bride. Tom: Why are you late? Sam: A technical error occurred, causing an unexpectedly long bout of unconsciousness. Tom: Overslept? Sam: Overslept. Tom: Is anyone going to tell me what's going on in here?! AJ: It's kind of complicated, but Sam and Luke- Tom: Got it. Forget I asked. Sam: Luke is a perfect cinnamon scone who’s never done anything wrong in his entire life! Tom: Never done anything wrong?! He set a city block on FIRE!

AJ: What's the signal when something goes wrong? Sam: We yell, "oh shit." Tom: ...That'll work. Luke: I bet you can’t make a sentence without the letter "A"! Tom: You thought you just did something there, didn’t you? Well, sorry to burst your bubble, but numerous sentences could be constructed without employing the first letter of the English lexicon. AJ: Fuck you. Sam: I’m totally useless. Tom: You’re not totally useless. Tom: You can be used as a bad example. AJ: When do you usually go to sleep? Luke: Whenever I collapse is entirely up to the gods. Tom: Is… Is that meant to be on fire? Luke: No… not really. Tom: Are you going to do something about it? Luke: Hm… nah. Tom: Luke learned how to fold origami penguins from Sam the other day. I told him, "I feel a little bad for the penguins, it’s hot here." And the next day he put them in the fridge. Sam: I just found out that humans are capable of fitting a light bulb into their mouth with ease but can’t take it out without shattering it, and now I have to physically restrain myself from putting a light bulb in my mouth. Sam, barging in: Syphilis! AJ: Sam: AJ: Pardon? Luke, carrying a box: What would you say if- if I, hypothetically, came home with 7 kittens one day? Tom: ... Tom: What’s in the box? Luke: What woul- Tom: Luke, what’s in the box? Luke: I think you know. Sam: Today at 7 am, Tom poured a Monster energy drink in his coffee, said "I'm going to die" and drank the whole thing. Luke: I watched Tom brew his coffee with Monster instead of water. Three cups in two hours. I think he ascended into the astral realm. AJ: The survivability of the human race never fails to amaze me.

[shorthaltsjester]

honestly as someone who has been in various fandoms for a long time now and who also watched campaigns 1 and 2 without really getting into cr fandom it isn’t Shocking but it is annoying how often people will look at the stories that cr tells and make absolute claims about the goodness of characters (goodness here meaning Moral goodness, not I Like This character and think it’s well made goodness, which is a separate post entirely). particularly regarding the gods and pc parents. and honestly like, typically in fandom i get annoyed by people bending over backwards to woobify characters who are active in their choice to be unkind and generally horrible but in the cr fandom it’s tended to be the opposite where like. a character is just. a human being (in the sense of being Average not in the sense of Fantasy Races) and huge swaths of the fandom act like that’s the most unforgivable thing someone can be. and maybe it is, but one of the most powerful things about fiction is that it tends to encourage people to expand their empathy and exercise their ability to forgive. because fictional characters, no matter how much people like to project onto them, tend not to cause anyone harm, so it’s easier to learn how to forgive and accept things you don’t understand without also villainizing them.

this is mostly prompted by the recent 4sd and the fact that matt’s response to what’s up with the dawnfather was a very insistent “He’s not bad!” and also seeing the online reaction to the mention that the matron would punish vax for saving keyleth that has taken the as usual completely bonkers tune that the raven queen (Who When Met With A Brother Asking A God To Kill Him In Favour Of His Sister, Gave Him A Job, and Later Extended His Natural Life To Help Protect The World And Have More Time With His Family And Allowed Him To Visit His Sister On Her Wedding Day) is a horrible evil abusive bitch of a god. like. can we grow up? can we understand the world and fiction that represents the multitudes of experiences found in it in shades of grey? is that too much to ask (i know it is).

but also specifically the like Extremely Adamant way that both matt and laura were like no no no no relvin isn’t Horirble he’s average. he’s not good he’s just. he’s A father, not a good or bad one. and on the surface it’s hilarious that they’re both so like. enthused to point out that he’s Average because typically when people respond to a claim of a characters badness with the level of immediacy they both did it’s a rebuttal of “no, this character is good actually.” but it was just to affirm that relvin did harm imogen, but not because there’s some aspect of his character that is inherently cruel or especially Bad. and like. yeah actually. yeah you should react like that to a claim that this average person who Has hurt someone, the way that nearly every single person has hurt someone in a way they cannot repair, with immediacy to say this person is a Person and thus imperfect and capable of great harm, but that isn’t some all encompassing judgment on their morality or capability to also do good or be fine.

anyway this is kinda just a rant post but also is just me saying i’m very grateful that when surrounded by a fandom that tends to paint characters as Good or Bad and even while using a game that can encourage that with its alignment system, cr has always told stories that see goodness as a persistent choice that might sometimes falter and that can be chosen even after a lifetime of Badness. i can’t remember exactly what the quote was so forgive me if it’s incorrect but when jester is talking to caleb after he claims he’s not a very good person and she says “good people do bad things sometimes. even bad people do good things.” that’s it! that’s one of the most consistent themes across campaigns. and yet.

[nonbinarylocalcryptid]

Hey, it's me, the intrusive thought of using an incorrect quotes generator, winning, again

Let's throw Cassandra and the LORD OF PUDDLES (Mel) into the mix

Random npc: What do you want?

Mel: The souls of the innocent

Cassandra: A bagel!

Mel: No!

Cassandra: Two bagels

---

*after the Squad's plan goes horribly wrong*

Astyanax : Now it seems we're back at square one-- finding Mel.

Odysseus : For the record, I already found them.

Cassandra : And you let them get away before we could have a meaningful conversation.

Odysseus : They stabbed me!

Astyanax : I'm surprised they waited this long, baba. We've all had the urge, remember Perimedes?

Cassandra, muttering to herself: who's Perimedes?

---

Cassandra: Why are you two always out during rainstorms?

Mel, LORD OF PUDDLES: It’s so peaceful and refreshing. I love the smell of rain.

Odysseus : Astyanax bet me I couldn’t get struck by lighting, but he's WRONG.

Mel: ...and to make sure this idiot doesn't die, of course.

Casandra, nodding: of course.

---

Mel: Alright, what pizza toppings should we order?

Odysseus : Anchovies and pineapple.

Astyanax : I like beets!

Cassandra: Have you guys ever had a cheese-less pizza?

Mel: I’m disowning all of you.

---

Astyanax: What the hell was that?

Odysseus: *picks up a flashlight* Only one way to find out!

Cassandra : Wait a minute! You don’t go TOWARDS the spooky scary banging!

Mel: Yes we do, Cassandra . We always do.

Astyanax: At this point I would be surprised if we don't

---

Cassandra : Good. Thanks, dad.

Astyanax : You just called Odysseus “dad”. You just said “thanks, dad.”

Cassandra : What? No, I didn’t. I said “thanks, man”.

Odysseus : Do you see me as a father figure, Cassandra ?

Cassandra : No. If anything I see you as a bother figure ‘cause you’re always bothering me.

Mel: Hey! Show your father some respect!

Astyanax: yeah Cassandra, hold your horses!

Odysseus: Again with the horse???

---

Mel: Where’s my chair?

Cassandra: Astyanax broke it over Odysseus ’s back while they were wrestling.

Odysseus : Correction, Astyanax was wrestling. I was eating soup.

Mel: that's rough, buddy

---

Telemachus: You know, my father gives my mother flowers everyday, I wish you'd do that too.

Mel: Okay.

*Later*

Mel: *gives Penelope flowers*

Penelope: ???

Mel: I don't know, I'm confused as well.

Astyanax, eating popcorn: this is the funniest shit I've seen in a while

---

Cassandra : Do you love Telemachus?

Mel: Yeah, I do.

Cassandra : Astyanax! I told you I knew it! You owe me 100 bucks!

Astyanax, mouth full of olives, enjoying the view: We all love Telemachus . You should've asked if they were IN love with him.

Mel: I thought that was implied.

Telemachus: ...

Cassandra : ...

Mel, looking straight at Astyanax: Congrats Cassandra , you just won 100 bucks.

---

Odysseus: Why is Mel crying on the floor?

Astyanax : They're drunk.

Odysseus: And?

Astyanax: They saw a picture of Telemachus's spouse.

Odysseus: But they're Telemachus's spouse.

Astyanax : I know. Hey father, Eurylochus was right.

Odysseus: How so?

Astyanax: You DO attract weird people.

Odysseus: ...

---

Astyanax: Why are your tongues purple?

Mel: We had slushies. I had a blue one.

Telemachus: I had a red one.

Cassandra: oh.

Odysseus:

Cassandra: OH.

Astyanax :

Astyanax : You drank eachothers slushies?

Odysseus: Poseidon, Polyphemus, Circe, the Underworld, Scylla, Charybdis, the suitors...and I'm NOT ready to have this conversation.

---

Telemachus : That's ridiculous, Mel doesn't have a crush on me.

Astyanax : Yes they do.

Cassandra: Yes they do.

Odysseus: Yes they do.

Mel: Yes I do.

---

Astyanax: Fight me!

Telemachus: Ha, look at your size! What are you gonna do, kick my ankle?

*Later*

Odysseus : Why is Telemachus crying?

Cassandra: Astyanax kicked him really hard on the ankle.

Mel: ...

---

Odysseus I’ve done a lot of dumb stuff.

Cassandra: I witnessed the dumb stuff.

Astyanax: I recorded the dumb stuff.

Mel : I joined you in the dumb stuff.

Telemachus : I TRIED TO STOP YOU FROM DOING THE DUMB STUFF!

---

Penelope: Are we really going to let Odysseus keep Mel?

Telemachus: We kept Astyanax.

---

Mel: I swear to god I'm the only one here with a braincell.

Odysseus, Telemachus, Astyanax , and Cassandra: ALL HAIL the keeper of the sacred braincell!

---

Astyanax: What does “take out” mean?

Mel: Food.

Telemcahus: Dating.

Cassandra: Murder.

Odysseus : It can be all three if you’re brave enough.

---

Tekemachus: How would you like your pancakes?

Mel: Plain.

Cassandra: With sprinkles!

Astyanax : Chocolate chips.

Odysseus : Potatoes.

*Telemachus, Cassandra, and Astyanax look at Odysseus *

Odysseus : What? They're good.

Cassandra, deadpanning: *gasps* monster

Astyanax: oh no here it comes...

Odysseus: I am the Monster rawr rawr rawr

---

Mel: Which one of you was going to tell me that tea tastes different if you put it in hot water??

Telemachus: Y- you were putting it in cold water??

Astyanax : Mel. Answer the question, Mel.

Mel: Yeah??? I thought people just put it in hot water to speed up the tea-ification process. didn't realize there was an actual reason.

Mel: Plus you think I have the patience to boil water?

Telemachus: You don't have the patience to microwave water for 3 minutes??

Astyanax : Why are you putting it in the microwave to boil it?

Telemachus: Do you think I have the patience to boil water on the stove?

Astyanax : It takes less than a minute.

Telemachus: Is your stovetop powered by the fucking sun???

Astyanax : How long does it take you to boil a cup of water on the stove?

Telemachus: Like seven minutes??

Odysseus : Just stick the mug on top of the stove on medium heat and it boils in like 2 minutes... less than that if you use a saucepan!

Astyanax : Why are you putting the whole mug on the stove?? On medium heat?? Odysseus ? Your stove is enchanted!

Mel: Every single person here is a fucking lunatic.

Cassandra: Do none of you own a fucking kettle?!

---

Odysseus : You know what?

Odysseus : When I join this friend group I thought you guys would be dealing with my bullshit.

*Telemachus, Mel and Cassandra continue screaming about mold water*

Odysseus : Not the other way around.

Astyanax : I dunno, sounds like you need to drink the mold water.

---

Odysseus : You really put aside everything and came all this way for me? How did you even get here so fast?

Telemachus: Several traffic violations.

Cassandra: Three counts of resisting arrest.

Mel: Roughly thirteen cans of energy drinks.

Astyanax : Also, that’s not our car.

---

Odysseus: You three, explain right now!

Cassandra: It was Astyanax .

Telemachus: It was Astyanax .

Mel: It was Astyanax .

Astyanax :

Astyanax : …fuck.

---

Astyanax : How do you connect with a fictional character?

Odysseus : What?

Cassandra: What?

Mel: What?

Telemachus: *pulls up a 500 slide presentation* I'm glad you asked.

---

Cassandra: So don't panic but one of us is possessed by an owl....

Mel : ....

Astyanax : .....

Telemachus: ......

Odysseus: ..Who?

Cassandra: That's the thing we don't-

*Everyone stares at Odysseus*

---

Cassandra: If you took a shot for every time you made a bad decision, how drunk would you be?

Telemachus : Maybe a bit tipsy?

Astyanax: Drunk.

Mel: Wasted.

Odysseus: Dead.

---

Cassandra: So when are we gonna tell thim?

Mel: Just give him a minute.

Astyanax: *Pulling on a door that clearly says push.*

---

Astyanax : Mel doesn’t look very happy.

Cassandra: That's their happy. They're just a bitch.

Astyanax: Hey! That's not nice!

Cassandra: *shrugs* neither are them

---

Odysseus: What are you two arguing about this time?

Telemachus: They’re always using common phrases incorrectly!

Astyanax : Cry me a table, Telemachus.

---

Cassandra: Anyone else feel good when their brain releases a bunch of endorphins?

Astyanax : Can't relate.

Mel: Why would my brain release a bunch of dolphins?

---

Telemachus : You wanna fight?! You got one!

Astyanax : Okay! *raises fists*

*Mel runs in, scoops Astyanax up in their arms, and runs away carrying them*

Telemachus :

Telemachus : What?

---

Telemachus : Isn't it weird that people kill mosquitoes just because they're annoying?

Odysseus: Damn, if people did that to each other, Astyanax would've killed me years ago.

Astyanax, nonchalant: there's still time

---

Telemachus : *lifting weights*

Mel: Wow… he's so intense!

Astyanax : I wonder what drives him.

Telemachus, internally: Oh I am going to be SO good at giving hugs.

---

Telemachus: You're pathetic!

Astyanax : You're pathetic-er!

Mel : You're both losers.

---

Telemachus : Would you take a bullet for me?

Mel: ...yes?

*Astyanax angrily burst into the room*

Telemachus : *running away* Great, thanks!

---

Cassandra & Telemachus : *accidentally set the kitchen on fire*

Cassandra: We need an adult!

Telemachus : Cassandra, you are an adult!

Cassandra: We need an adultier adult! Get Mel!

Telemachus: MEL????

Cassandra: They have water powers!!

Telemachus: Right!

---

Mel: What did you two do?

Telemachus :

Cassandra:

Mel: You’re not in trouble, I just need to know if I have to lie to Odysseus and Penelope again or not.

Astyanax, having the time of his life: Again???