#vent continued
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#vent continued#frankly i dont know why im even talking about it here when none of you care either#i mean yoy all follow me for funny shit and thats literally it none of yoy give an actual fuck#i could drop dead right now and none of yoy would care#oooo look at me im such a silly little guy please stop ignoring me please be nice i promise ill be funny for you if your nice#i promise ill be your little pet compliment and joke dispenser if you just hang out with me every few months and say you like me#its so funny when the only adults that care are literally paid to do so#its even funnier that sometimes even qhen theyre paid to they still dont care enough to do the bare minimum to keep me alive#its *even funnier* than that that not a single one of the 300 people who like the silly things i reblog would care if i died#thats another selfish thought im not allowed to think that because im always selfish even if all i want is for people to care for once#i hate all of you#and see thats why no one cares because i say i hate them right after i beg them to care this is why im so stupid#im so tired if dad was one of those neglectful parents that leaves a gun around id hurry up and blow my brains out#maybe my best friends would be sad but lets face it everyone else woumd get over it before the funeral ended#'oh no my son is dead. atleast i dont need to deal with what a failure he is anymore'#i thoght meds were supposed to stop me from feeling like this anymore why the hell are we payinf for them if i still wanna die so bad#im so tired. i wish it was all over already
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Hot take but Dazai and Chuuya do not have to be solely opposites in everything.
Just because Dazai can't do/isn't good at something doesn't mean Chuuya automatically can do/is good at that same thing. And Vice versa.
They are as similar as they are opposite, their dynamic doesn't have to just be boiled down to opposites attract.
As an example, I think Chuuya is given way too much credit for how put together he is in terms of domestic chores, especially when he's a teen! This boy was technically homeless until the mafia took him in. He was a child on the street, with no memory, who was taken in and raised by The Sheep. Who were other children living in a sewer! For at least some of the time Chuuya was in The Sheep he lived in a sewer. It probably took him years to actually learn how to consistently keep his home in order.
Yes, in Storm Bringer we are given a passage about how neat Chuuya kept his new apartment, but that was also because of how bare it was. He literally didn't know how to fill an apartment with anything but the bare necessities. I don't think we were supposed to read that passage and go "Wow, Chuuya's so neat!", we were supposed to go, "Wow, this kid has no idea who he is."
Dazai living in a shipping container is the worse scenario, but neither of their living situations reflect a stable one. They both have no idea how to make a home for themselves at that point. Chuuya is as proud of his own barren space as Dazai is of his. The real difference is Chuuya was given his apartment by the mafia, whereas Dazai picked his container. Chuuya is integrating himself into the mafia and Dazai is separating himself from it.
Their living situations are mirrors of each other as well as opposites.
Anyway, all this to say, skk (teen skk especially) should get to be as dumb as they are competent together.
#bungou stray dogs#bsd#bsd dazai#bsd chuuya#bsd skk#soukoku#rambling#This is not meant to hate on anyone's head canons I'm just venting#sometimes I just see things and think “Chuuya is not that well adjusted” to myself#feel free to ignore me and continue doing you
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“There are bigger problems in the world than your own feelings.”
Thanks for reminding me I have little to no reason left to live.
#in all honesty the state of the world is truly shit#i don’t wish to continue paying rent and struggling with money#actually bpd#bpd culture is#bpd#bpd feels#bpd safe#bpd vent#bpd problems#bpd thoughts#cluster b
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I know things are difficult right now and will continue to be rough. It’ll feel like the odds are overwhelmingly against you just for existing, but you have to keep on going. Keep on fighting. Continue to live. Don’t apologize for being alive.🌻
#Toshinori Yagi#All Might#My Hero Academia#MHA#MHA fanart#Boku No Hero Academia#BNHA#BNHA fanart#MHA Toshinori Yagi#MHA All Might#vent art#my art#digital art#i hope things will get better#they better get better#continue to fight#fight the resistance#don’t give up
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ugh... (vent doodle)
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Btw just want to be clear that Time and Time Again is set to, and will if I don't pause, conclude in May 2025!
Webtoon didn't want to renew or give me any extra episodes so I'm trying to work with what I have. I'm sorry it's ending sooner than I'd like, it's been difficult to come to terms with and challenging to condense my plans.
You deserve a solid conclusion, and I've spent months writing to try and reach that. If there's anything you'd really like to see before it ends, do let me know in case I can (and want to) fit it in.
I'd rather not work with them again, and I hope I won't have to! But coming off of years being overworked and underpaid does not make that easy, to say the least...
I'm doing my best, and I hope you like what I have coming up.
#years of being overworked. underpaid. and literally manipulated and gaslit lmfao#it does not feel good to beg to be treated equally. and then told to be satisfied with less than that#it has been repeatedly demoralizing and insulting#and im not doing it again#i would rather nanny again (most exhausting job ive ever had) than work with them again#but. i would rather not!#I'd rather continue to make comics#but to do it full time i would need like 500 patrons on the $5 tier minimum...#which is SO MANY PEOPLE and incomprehensible to me#ive already proven to myself i can live on 25k a year but obviously its tight (i live in socal)#this. is not what this post is about#it's so hard for me not to complain about them#i feel bad for my current patrons i only share stuff on discord as of right now#well i do the merch packages but like#it's mostly just my discord#just dont have the time or energy to manage my patreon#cause idk if yall know but patreons site is TERRIBLE from the creator side???#it takes like 5 minutes to upload a single post it's ridiculous#so i cant manage it rn. I've thought about hiring someone to help me with it but i cant afford any help#anyways ultimately this is informing people its gonna end#and is turning into a vent around all of the stress surrounding that#like i literally had to take a couple months to just be sad its gonna end and come to terms with that#its hard! it's hard feeling so tossed aside and having your stories controlled even in part by someone else#anyways yeah#i havent finished writing the last arc yet#so theres space for me to fit stuff if theres something people really want#so id like to get in what i could if i can!#text post#sorry i always turn any thoughts about comics into vents about webtoon#theyre so ass man..... it's fine. im gone in may...
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it's only Inertia that moves you through this dull, boring haze. a toxic, volatile pain thrumming against your ribs and settling in your bones like thick cement. ... Don't you want to disappear?
- - -
Or, does anyone else ever think about how for those not looking for fame or pursuing their passion, signing up to become Ultimate Real Fiction could just be a painless way to commit suicide?
#drv3#kokichi ouma#pregame kokichi#kokichi oma#ouma kokichi#oma kokichi#pregamev3#pregame v3#drv3 spoilers#danganronpa#danganronpa v3#pluto creations#id in alt text#The image background is a stock photo#This is a bit of a vent piece and I am just as shocked as you are that I am self projecting on KOKICHI OUMA. ME? GONTA-GOKUHARA?#its pregame so it doesnt count and that is what i will continue to tell myself#This is also based on the album art for boys see boys be seeeeeecun which has been. getting at the heart of my agonies for a few months now#suicide mention#must also say that i am ok. just very anxious and entering finals. you know how it is
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#messyr#doodle#hi . this is my blog with continuous art post#i post fanart and vent art#mentally ill artist
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Starving/eating little all day just to binge after a night shift<<<<<<
#WHYYYYYYYY do i do this to myself#gave myself such a tummy ache too#i just hope that I can do some damage control tomorrow and continue to lose weight the next day#4norexla#4nerex1a#4nor3xia#tw ana rant#tw ed ana#tw ana bløg#4n0rexic#4n4blr#tw 3d vent#3ating d1sorder#@na rules#@n@ tips#4n@diary#starv1ng#⭐️ ing motivation#⭐️rving#⭐️vation goals#skinnii#tw skipping meals#light as a feather#tw thinspi#thinspø#i hate calories
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I don’t know how to feel about this Eridan because reasons.
#eridan ampora#homestuck#homestuck fanart#how can I express to others the complexities of my sadness#without coming across as trite#or self important#it’s actually funny that I was drawing Eridan while I felt like that#that deep understanding of how unlikable you’re appearing to others#juxtaposed with an inability to stop yourself from continuing to be pathetic and ugly#you talk to so many people about the same thing over and over#feeling it bubble at the back of your throat like tar in every conversation#and you’ll see it on their faces#the pity#the annoyance#you can’t stop it from bubbling though#you can’t stop yourself from spilling over#idk if this counts as trauma dumping#tw vent#just in case#I Guess
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Why are ppl scared to call it what it is and say we’re still going thru covid on top of seasonal illness. Like. That’s pretty important right. I was watching the news and they were like oh yeah we have an unprecedented number of flu cases “as well as other sicknesses” without actually saying Covid. No announcement abt vaccinations or masking or anything. Also if I hear someone joking abt “war flashbacks” for mentioning covid I fucking hate u
#source: most of my family members are nurses and it was so bad for one of them they had to be put on a ventilator. in the hospital they#worked at. looking back I think I had a reason to feel a little offput by the shows of support early pandemic#with people tying blue ribbons around trees and lighting signs blue to support healthcare workers#I get that it was supposed to be moral support when we couldn’t do anything but follow health advisories#and it did matter to make them feel uplifted and do something than nothing. im not gonna deny that#but. you can still help now. u know that right. you still have a responsibility here#u can still mask up. u can still get vaxxed and call in sick to avoid infecting others#don’t leave it on healthcare workers to pick up the pieces just because they were doing it before. do u think they had a choice?#nobody likes picking up the slack for someone else and now that we have more tools to do smth couldn’t we just. do it????#im not a virologist but i also feel like continuing to let it get worse by letting more mutations develop#could continue to set us back since this virus is pretty good at fucking us up long term and finding new ways to do that#while there are ppl still researching covid which is STILL A RELATIVELY NEW VIRUS. and studying possible treatment and cures#yapping#vent
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Okay. I have a lot to explain. First:
Listen- I am REALLY sorry for not drawing a lot. For the last month (by this point it’s probably been a month), I’ve been really, really behind on drawing and TSAMS lore. I don’t really feel that I’m apart of the fandom anymore. I just lost all my energy to actually dedicate myself to the lore of the show. I feel exhausted. Plus, school isn’t helping. For the last two weeks it’s been kind of hard for me, I mean aside from my trip, but then I had to catch up on work then do 1 project. I had two tests today.
Art block is hitting hard and I hope you understand. I just feel like I want to draw, I have a lot of ideas, I just can never get a result I actually like. It’s a process of drawing and deleting all my progress. I feel like it’s either 1., I make too much art, which in turn exhausts me further, or 2., I don’t make art at all. I’ve just been lurking around Tumblr and going around, like “oh I’m so going to draw this”, but I’m realizing that I definitely do not have enough energy to draw anything TSBS right now.
My main focus at the moment is school and school only. I hope you understand this because I had a shit ton of late work I had to do from the days I missed while I was away (7 fucking pages), and I had to zoom through that, THEN I had the science test. I had my math test today and I did well and now I’m tired af. I just don’t feel like drawing in general, period. Coloring maybe, but I just have too many things to do OUTSIDE of drawing online on here. Basically this is just me taking a small break. I’m sorry that content may be slower on my account, but I feel like I need this or else I will eventually just actually pass out from the stress. No one did nothing wrong aside from me. I’m just torturing myself. My brain hurts and my sleep schedule is damaged. Planning events is NOT fun and every weekend, I seriously just want a break, but OH someone’s coming over or we’re doing something or we’re going somewhere. I seriously cannot take a break unless I have NOTHING TO DO, which is kind of impossible considering my mother’s plans.
I just don’t feel like drawing. I feel like I’m starting to sleep more early everyday. My mind is a mess. It hurts. It hurts.
I’m just so sorry about this. I hope you guys understand I may not be in the best mental state (even if I act like I’m not, and same at with school, @kiwikay3 …), and I don’t feel like drawing for a bit. Just expect me to give you updates once in a while and maybe that’s it. Just don’t expect a ton of content or doodles from me.
This problem has nothing to do with you guys, I just want you to know this and know what to expect from me from now on. I’ll catch up with all my art requests and things like that eventually, I just feel like school has taken a toll on me. On my health. But, just myself overall. I don’t want anyone to worry. I’ll probably be active less and less so it’s fine if you unfollow me or something because I feel like I’ve already failed you all, and I’ve already reached the peak of my art journey (mid-October or so). I’m so sorry but I feel like when I write these I just get so emotional and I can’t really describe any of it in words. I’m probably going to sleep after this before I actually start crying. I’m actually so annoyed and sad and I just feel so many emotions. My brother is not helping, because HE does not care about his physical health so me and my parents do instead.
Sorry. Thank you all.
I feel like I’m going to have a mental breakdown fuck i hate this
#TW vent#tsams#important#-#I just want you guys to know what’s going on#for now at least#I’ll probably be in a better mood later.#thank you and sorry.#I know this timing is pretty inconvenient#I’ll try to draw more#but I’m never satisfied#with how it turns out#so I delete it#and the cycle continues#and it’s like it starts melting my brain#I’m so stressed#I’m already crying oh my fucking god#i hate this#but I love you guys#I love you guys so much#thank you.#my brain hurts#it hurts#it hurts.#it hurts..#fuck#oh my god I need a break#I feel like shit#-kin
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Coffee addict Never sleeps Tim drake ❌
Solving cases in his sleep off 87 energy drinks Tim Drake ✅
The coffee addict never sleeps perpetually tired Tim Drake thing is a widely accepted headcanon however that was elementary school tim but after he stayed up for a week straight subsisting entirely on coffee to decipher the bat weekly patrol schedule and how it aligns with rogue attacks/Arkham breakouts, he crashed then when he woke up it was fucking wednesday so he missed his chance to commemorate his discovery with pictures of Robin and he decided that shit would never happen again and made himself an ‘efficient’ sleep schedule so he could run around doing fuck shit, add to his robin shrine, and stay on honor roll bc he was even more pissed to see the gotham gazette had pictures of Robin with an on site interview credited to Vicki Vale (listen bowl cut tim had a one sided beef with vicki vale that included tim judging who gets better pics of the bats but she isn’t even aware that she’s competing with a whole ass child 😭 he’s sitting at the table with a mug of orange juice and looks at the newspaper snorts and goes ‘fucking amateur I could do better’)
Regularly unsupervised tiny businessman in training Tim ‘Ten hours of uninterrupted sleep?? That’s so inefficient not to mention fucking stupid’ Drake is so pissed he missed getting shots of Robin dropkicking a rogue from 6 six stories up (for absolutely no reason dick just thinks it’s fun) that he just takes at least 3 hour naps every eight hours 😭 he refuses to spend almost half a day sleeping ‘for no reason when he could be doing something productive’
And he still does this as a bat but it’s just easier to tell if he didn’t take his nap bc he has less than zero impulse control and he’s just fucking done with everything like the gcpd is terrified bc tim’s saying shit like ‘This guys a fucking moron, I could’ve done this in half the time without killing anyone fucking loser doesn’t he know if you keep them alive you can prolong the torture?’ and ‘you’re like all hysterical and for what 🤨 ‘you blew up 83% of Bristol waah’ stfu and fucking rebuild it?? It’s only rich mfs that live there, it’s just a matter of them opening their fucking wallets’ once a new recruit made the mistake of asking if robin had adult supervision regularly and Tim responded with ‘well if you’re gonna snitch to cps like a little bitch then yeah’ and that cop did snitch so tim fucking doxxed him
Yj has just accepted that sometimes they will find tim in an air vent, on the roof, in one of their closets, or something just fucking knocked out then an alarm will go off and he’ll just get up like nothing happened but for the first couple of months they were probably concerned bc ‘I’ve never seen you sleep?? wtf are you on man’ and Tim’s confused bc ‘I slept next to you this morning wdym??’ and that’s how yj discovers tim sleeps with his eyes open
But one of the worst things about Tim’s ‘time efficient sleep schedule’ nonsense is that it fucking works he’s one of the most well rested and coherent bats even after back to back Arkham breakouts however the absolute worst thing about his sleep schedule is the likelihood of going into the cave and seeing tim staring in a daze but wide eyed yet somehow never blinking at the batcomputer with 57 tabs open on top of being unresponsive and thinking he has a fucking concussion or he’s been replaced but he’s just doing case work while muttering nonsense in his fucking sleep for some reason
#Tim drake being unhinged even in his sleep and taking sleepwalking to the next level by doing reports/solving cases in his sleep#A bat hearing incoherent mumbling but no one’s nearby: 😐 he’s in the walls 😨 he’s in the goddamn walls#No one knows how or why he’s in that particular spot in the wall bc there’s isn’t a secret entrance/crawl space there#Tim also has a wall of energy drinks Bruce regularly tries to lecture him aboot#And Tim’s like ‘your eldest son has snorted sugar MULTIPLE times’#then he gestures at Jason ‘and that one looks like if he didn’t have drug related childhood trauma he’d try to snort protein powder’#bruce: tim we have to talk about your behavior#Tim: like three of your kids have basked in the blood of their enemies 🤨 I am NOT your biggest issue rn#Dick Grayson being the main reason there’s an ‘acceptable levels of force’ slide with 600+ slides & most are examples of what not to do#Stephanie 🤝🏾 Damian: being reason Bruce is adding more slides to a PowerPoint from 2 decades ago#Tim drakes idea of straight forward is how everyone else imagines jumping through hoops and fucking struggling to avoid pissing off the fae#Like wdym simple?? This plan has 97 parts and he’s like no that’s just the first page of plan 1 if it’s sunny#Rogues: I can’t catch him off guard wtf do none of these mfs sleep??#Tim ‘never let em know your next move’ Drake who’s been sleep for the past 45 minutes: 🔵➖🔵#Yj has cuddle piles in the air vents#Everyone with enhanced senses is losing bc ‘there are children in the walls’#Coffee addict babs calls tim weak when he tells her he cut coffee bc it was fucking with him before continuing to chug hot coffee#Oracle: this is the worst Tuesday ever 😔 I need more coffee before I deal with an Arkham breakout#Nightwing: but it’s sunday??#Spoiler: Maybe it’s time we switch to decaf love also just out of curiosity when was the last time you slept??#Oracle: you want the fucking location or not?#Dick: I take it back mb#Spoiler: a thousand apologies to our gracious overlord#Oracle: that’s what I thought#Bruce: you’re benched oracle#Oracle: take that bench and shove it up your ass batman#Steph 100% calls everyone mushy pet names and has since Bruce lectured her about professionalism when she was dating tim#Imagine getting your ass kicked by a sleepingwalking middle schooler#Or worse: imagine having to explain to your insurance company that a sleepwalking child blew up your home#tim drake is a menace
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Not a suicide note.
I try my best to be nice and professional and I restrain my art and my thoughts and my image to the most strictly nice I can be without faking it. (Faking would be something I do not want for myself after all(
I do not want to hurt anybody, and I don't want anybody to be unhappy because of my actions, there would be no point in that. I want to lay in my lane, safely away from others, and explode, I want to burn bridges, I want to break apart and not feel tied by 'what if'. I have no friends who would defend me. I am always terrified of what will happen if I relax. If I say or do anything that can (and will) be interpreted wrongly, nobody is going to say 'Wait, this is out of character'. They will just assume anything good about me was wrong. So all I can do is choose not to say things that can possibly be considered unpopular. Unpopular can be deconstructed into toxic. Toxic can be deconstructed into cancellable. Cancellable means I will be alone.
There's people on the internet that have been considered 'ok to bully', who the fuck am I to believe when I look at them, i'm not looking at myself? And I'm dying. I want to die. I want to stop worrying. I want to stop being a good person when nobody needs that good person. I am building up good rep because I hope it will pay off eventually , but I'm starting to rip at the seams. If I die I won't have to hope somebody acknowledges me.
EDIT: Actually writing this down helped me relax a little. It's not that I don't feel it (I do know it's going to come with a vengeance and this is just the aftermath of a lot of stress) but I wanted to write this in addition.
It might also help alleviate the pressure some people might feel after reading it and feeling they have to help but don't know how.
Man, I just know this is going to break my life in two, umh? But perhaps I am not done for the life I was aiming for...
#vent#cw:death#cw:suicide#cw:pettiness#cw:burning bridges#I'm fucking up by typing this#I'm messing up#Im ruining everything#Oh my god I'm never going to get hired ever again am i#Commissions will continue as usual
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frustrated by a "non political" server im in, paraphrased conversation i saw
Free Palestine. If you think any other way. Unfollow me. I don't want you here.
#text post#image post#not tagging this under my usual art tags cos its mostly to vent frustration#vent#vent post#vent comic#free palestine#might do a continuation to this cos honestly the moderation there plays both sides and it pisses me off#to see the same pro-israel guy start shit with anyone who is pro-palestine and then call in the mods when they retaliate#esp since bro keeps reacting to announcements with the israel flag and dropping fucking dogwhistles#“anyway good luck out there human- or not human- i dont care as long as you dont support those who want to hurt me” he says after starting#shit with anyone who has the palestine flag in their name#he deleted that message btw which pisses me off further
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So, lore?
Lo'en is a half elf and across the world there are designated elven kingdoms. One of them! Where she was born and her mother (elf) still lives, is frigid and in the north. Humans still have an odd tradition for Santa and so she hides her slightly pointed ears so that she doesn't have to sit through ANOTHER "Saint Nick" story that the northern elf king refuses to be offended by. His name is Niklava and he rather LIKES the association of how giving the cold can be! Lo'en could easily live without hearing another comment about ol' Saint Nick and his elves though.
Hold, while technically human/mortal, is cursed to live life over and over. And he has plant/green powers. He gets a lot of the "oh you'll grow up to be fine one of these days!" "you're still a sprout in this life time" "you still have time to bloom then!" and he also hates it.
Because Hold has to continue living even after he dies (though his body regresses to a child like age as he "recovers from death") he's absolutely enamored with Lo'en who just continues to exist. Her life span is way longer than a humans, longer than his /should/ be. And he admires her a lot and is really grateful to have her around for so many of his lives lived. Lo'en is relieved to have someone she gets along with who won't die and leave her forever. He dies, sure, but he gets better.
Lo'en meets Hold first while during one of his sister's dead phases so that's why the two are much closer than Lo'en is to Hold's sister. The two girls do help keep Hold safe when he's dead but they aren't super best friends or anything.
#my characters#phew ok had to think of a way to keep loen alive long enough to matter in the many lives of hold and his sister#also they have a teacher/instructor who loves to make the really bad jokes that theyve both heard a lot#but the teacher does help so she gets a pass to an extent#loen still rants and vents to hold about her tho like OH COME ON IVE BEEN ALIVE LONG ENOUGH NONE OF THOSE ARE FRESH#loen also thought for the longest time she would grow cold and distant - like her powers are as cold as she expected to be after centuries#but she met hold and he warms her up and fills her with joy and delight and she cherishes him more than she can say#and in contrast hold acknowledges the irony of never knowing death for long and for having the powers of plant growth#and he thought fate was being cruel but loen appears while hes mourning and lonely without his sister#and she tells him while he might be lonely its absolutely beautiful to her that he continues to live his lives to the fullest#and that opens his eyes to the fact its really not so bad if he cant fully die#hes had his sister by his side for it and now he has a friend who he cherishes#anyway they love each other a whole lot and its cute but bittersweet and then shit hits the fan so ya know#shrugs have them being annoyed at the constant comments they get no matter how obvious it should be that they hear them enough
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