#tw: self worth issues

[giggly-squiggily]

Oh wow, thank you so much! I would like to request zenitsu with a s/o who has body image issues, If that’s ok. I remembered that they’re all buff, not just inosuke (which would be really funny if he was the only ripped one) but it just made me hyper-aware of my own body, even though I’ve been told my weight is fine. Once again thank you very very much and have a very happy holidays! -🎄

Heyo friend! My deepest apologies, I've been meaning to write this for the longest time but wanted to wait until I was in a good mental health space to do it. I can relate to this issue as well; especially the hyper fixation part. It's not an easy journey to work through, and I wish I could say something that makes everything easier- but all I can really say is you're not alone feeling this way, and that no matter how your body looks, it's valid the way it is. <3

(And 100% agree- we need more squishy slayers! I get their training leads to them having more buff bodies but I want squish! I want pudgy bellies and thick thighs dang it!) I hope I did your prompt justice friend <3

((Not gonna tag list peeps this one due to the content warnings below))

CW: Body image issues, self worth issues, mentions of eating disorders, insecurity, food, angst, hurt/comfort

It shouldn’t bother you so much.

Inosuke was always shirtless- saying something about clothes dulling his senses. There weren’t any rules against him going without, and if it really did affect his combat skills, it was better this way.

Still, it didn’t make you feel any better, pressing your arms tighter against your stomach as you watched him stretch. His build was so muscular and toned- his body giving him the extra ‘oomph’ he needed to perform the moves he does. It was what you deemed to be the ideal body type for the Demon Corps.

And you…well. Weren't that.

Your body was fine, according to Lady Kocho. Everything worked as it should, and you were able to keep up with the boys during training and whatnot. Things were on a smooth track, as she put it.

Still, you couldn’t help but feel...less, seeing not just Inosuke, but both Tanjiro and Zenitsu so ripped. They were developing hard muscles as visual evidence of their efforts. When they took their shirts off, you could tell just by looking at them they were Corp members.

You pressed more firmly against the soft parts of your torso, something cold and unpleasant setting in your gut as you came to the realization that even if you worked your absolute hardest, it's never likely you'll never look like them.

“(Y/N)? Are you okay?” Tanjiro’s voice made you gasp and look up, finding his concerned eyes. “You look like you’re gonna throw up- is your stomach hurting?”

“Maybe they ate too much.” Inosuke piped up. It was such a meaningless comment, but it still felt like a dagger in your heart.

“Inosuke, hush.” Tanjiro scowled, but the damage was already done.

“That’s probably it! I just overate.” You put on what you hoped to be a smile as you straightened up, arms still guarding your stomach. “I’m gonna go see if Miss Kocho has medicine- bye!” You twisted so hard dust puffed around your feet, racing into the manor as Tanjiro called after you. Thankfully no one was following- it felt like permission to let the tears fall.

On your way in, you didn’t see Zenitsu watching you.

~~~

“Maybe I should cut back..” You murmured softly, slumped away in a spare room as you wiped your tear stained cheeks. You likely looked a mess- eyes puffy and face hot. It was a miracle no one came by to hear you sobbing alone. “Will that help me look like them?”

As if fate hated you, your stomach growled. You pushed your hand against it with a bitter thought. “Don’t even start. I need to do this.”

“Do what, exactly?” You yelped when you heard a voice, looking up to find Zenitsu. In his hands he had an assortment of things- a box of tissues, two ice cubes in a cup, and…

Oh no. “I’m not..” You began, only for your stomach to growl at the sight of the onigiri. Zenitsu raised a brow.

“You are.” He chided, coming over and sitting down. After offering the tissues to clean up with, he handed you the cup of ice. “These are good for swollen eyes. I know- I cry all the time.” He smiled, puffing some when you let out a weak giggle.

“I guess you’d know all the tricks to things like this.” You took the ice, wincing some at the chill. “Thanks, Zen.”

“Hm.” The blonde nodded, watching you circle your eyes with the chilly cubes. “How’s your stomach?”

“Huh?” You dropped a cube, watching it bounce away. “My what?”

He stared at you. You felt your face get hot. “Shoot…you knew that was a lie, huh?”

“I am your partner, (Y/N).” He reminded gently, frowning when you dipped your head. “Do you wanna talk about it? You’ve been looking so down recently- I want to help if I can.”

“I don’t think you could.” You sank further, hating how your stomach began to really hurt. Zenitsu, noticing this, offered you the rice balls.

“I don’t want them.” You shook your head.

“Your stomach hurts cause you haven’t eaten since this morning.”

“I can skip meals.”

“That’s not safe.”

“So what? If it means I can finally look like a proper slayer, I’ll do it!” You snapped, voice raising. Then you fell silent as you realized what you just said. Zenitsu blinked at you a few times.

“...What?” He stared, watching you tear up. “(Y/N)...”

“S-Sorry. That didn’t- I didn’t want to say that..” You sniffed, hating how close to tears you were today. “Just forget about it. I’m being stupid.”

Zenitsu stared at you before putting down the rice balls, scooting closer and reaching out. “(Y/N)..” You leaned away, and he let his hand fall back to his lap. “Are you starving yourself?”

“No…I just thought about it.” You confessed, unable to look at him. “I overeat, so I thought if I stopped eating lunch, maybe all this extra fat would go away.” You looked down at your stomach, tearing up again. “Then I’ll look like you guys. I’ll have muscles. I'll finally look like a real slayer..."

Zenitsu was quiet for a bit, seemingly stunned silent. Then he turned so he was facing you properly. “(Y/N), can I have your hand?”

You peeked at him, watching as he tugged up his shirt. “Why..”

“Please?” He asked again, eyes serious. You decided to give in and let him take your hand. He brought it to his torso, pushing it against his stomach. “Can you feel it?”

“I..” You didn’t really know what you were feeling. It felt like a body- warm beneath your touch. The whole thing was a bit embarrassing- your face heated up again at the thought of somebody walking in on you. “Zen, I don’t know what I’m supposed to feel.”

“Sure you do. It’s my squish.” He nodded proudly, watching you blink in confusion. “Even when I gained all these muscles you’ve mentioned, I’m still soft. You have muscles too. They might not as visible, but they're there."

He was in fact soft. You pressed in, something oddly satisfying about the gesture. Zenitsu jerked and doubled over with a giggle, making you smile. “S-Sehee? I’m squishy. We all are.”

“But Inosuke..”

“Inosuke’s squishy too. He might not look it, but he is.” He released your hand, opting to hold it gently within his own. “Just because you’re not crazy ripped with no squish doesn’t make you any less of a Slayer. You don’t need your muscles to show to prove your worth. You've already done that just by being you. You're courageous, smart, kind.."

You felt your eyes water again, this time for a new reason. “Zen..”

"Really attractive." He winked, making you snort through your tears. “You're perfect the way you are. Forget about skipping meals, okay? It’s dangerous. What if you pass out mid-breathing technique with a demon? I don't-I can't lose you.” Zenitsu pulled the onigiri out, bringing it to your lips. “You eat fine- don't change for the sake of visuals."

Your stomach growled again, and you finally took a bite. The rice was seasoned and fluffy, and the filling was your favorite. You almost cried again at the taste. “Thank you..”

“Eat first. Thank me later.” Zenitsu smiled as you carried on eating, reaching out and grabbing a thermos. You didn’t see him with it earlier- he must have had it stashed away. “I brought tea too. No, I didn’t brew it- I wasn’t gonna make you feel worse.”

You nearly choked on your food as you laughed, smiling behind your fist as Zenitsu poured a cup for you. “Hohohow coohohnsiderate!"

“Yeah, I'm like that sometimes.” He grinned, relaxing as you sipped your tea. “I love you too much to let you die my attempts at making tea."

“New breathing technique unlocked- poison tea. Quick, let's go tell Lady Kocho.” You giggled, watching him start to smile. Before long, the two of you were laughing freely, falling into each other as you laughed yourselves breathless.

You are truly grateful to have someone like him in your life.

Thanks for reading!

[bnha-more-like-bnh-gay]

Tw: izuku’s self sacrificial tendencies and low self esteem

Izuku being so self sacrificial and just 1000% willing to die for his friends, and really just for anyone, and his friends are so fucking stressed about it :/

Like. It’s so unhealthy, but this kid is just willing to die to protect his friends and genuinely doesn’t understand why it freaks them out. He one time tells them point blank, “I’d die for you” and doesn’t understand why they’re like, “maybe let’s not do that????” He’s just so used to people not caring if he dies, and he thinks that it’s an okay/healthy way to show love and affection

Like, I imagine it is most detrimental with kiri, Shouto, Iida, Uraraka, Aoyama, and tsu. Like kiri is so insistent on telling izuku how manly he is, and how he admires him, and he starts to see how little izuku values his own life and it freaks him out. Like, izuku just doesn’t understand why they’re all telling him to stop and slow down, or why he needs to not jump into fights without backup. But instead keeps telling them that he’d be fine if he died protecting his friends, and it’s so earth shattering to them all

Shouto understands a bit more where izuku is coming from, but he is just so terrified of losing his first friend. Todoroki “ride or die” Shouto does NOT approve. He tries to stop izuku from putting up with bakugou’s bullshit too. He can see how bakugou impacts izuku’s mental health, and he’s the first one to try and separate them and keep izuku out of harms way. Because he knows what being around someone who torments you does to a person, and izuku, who’s so idiotically brave and kind, who sticks his nose in other people’s business for the sake of heroism and wanting them to feel safe, fucking deserves to have the same kind of annoying, amazing, really fucking odd help and support. And if Shouto can provide it, then of course he will

Iida has seen first hand how willing izuku is to jump in to protect his friends-they all have, but I’m talking about the hosu incident-and he’s so grateful for izuku helping him there, but Jesus does it terrify him how izuku just keeps doing it with no regards for his own life. He almost lost tensei, he can’t lose izuku

Uraraka knows how strong izuku is, they all do, but this dude is stressing her the fuck out with his lack of self preservation. She needs her best friend alive, thank you??? She admires him so much in the beginning, his bravery and heroic personality, and that continues, but she’s coming to realize that some of that bravery comes from such a horrible place of not caring if he lives or dies and she’s horrified

Aoyama. The fucking guilt he has right now. Because he knows where izuku is coming from to some degree, and he knows that it’s partially his fault. That if he wasn’t in cahoots with the L.O.V., izuku wouldn’t be so. Like this. He’s not stupid, he knows he’d still be like this. But he wouldn’t have the added pressure of wanting to protect Aoyama, his friend. And Aoyama doesn’t know what to do because he has to help keep his parents safe, but holy shit, what if izuku actually gets killed??

Tsu is rational, but she’s also good at looking at things from other people’s perspectives. But it just hurts so much to see how izuku views his self worth. She understands to a degree, because he grew up with pretty shitty influences (bakugou, the entirety of Aldera middle school, etc.), but she also does. Not. Get. It. She doesn’t want to get it. She loves her friends, and she knows they’re strong, hell, she’s strong as hell, but it’s just terrifying that this 16 year old, who is one of her best friends, who has saved all of their lives several times, is just so. Lackluster when it comes to keeping himself safe.

Mic (because it wouldn’t be one of my rants if I didn’t include my desire for this man to adopt me, but since that can’t happen, we project into also wanting him to adopt izuku) is just so devastated that this kid, a fucking child, a baby has to fight in a goddamn war. This is ridiculous. But just that he’s also so willing to die for literally anyone???? He’s seen where that got Oboro, and fuck if it doesn’t terrify him that, what if the green bean gets irrevocably hurt?? He’s such a kind, and thoughtful, and smart kid, but he’s also so fucking stupid. He doesn’t even mean it as an insult, it’s just so frightening that this child he’s supposed to be protecting is taking it upon himself to try and fix this major issue that has gotten multiple adults, pro-heroes, killed, maimed, and otherwise injured. AND HE IS A 16 YEAR OLD WITH A SHIT LOAD OF TRAUMA. FUCK. And he can’t even do much to try and keep him out of harms way! Hell, the kid isn’t even in his homeroom! But the war is coming and he can’t keep any of the kids away from it, and that’s even worse.

[ed-recoverry]

I love you everyone who has a lot of acne!

I love you everyone with acne scarring!

I love you teens with acne!

I love you adults with acne!

I love you everyone with nodulocystic acne!

I love you everyone with cystic acne!

I love you everyone with hormonal acne!

I love you everyone with papulopustular acne!

I love you everyone with nodular acne!

I love you everyone with acne mechanica!

I love you everyone with painful acne!

I love you everyone who gets acne flare ups!

I love you everyone who has been brushed off or neglected by doctors!

I love you everyone who experiences acne as a side effect of medication!

I love you everyone where medication didn’t help your acne!

I love you everyone who is insecure or upset about their acne!

I love you all.

[stellar-solar-flare]

Every Reason - Bucky Barnes x Reader

Rated T for themes - my blog is intended for 18+ only| Angst, hurt/comfort, a little fluff | Established relationship| Everyone Lives/No One Dies AU.

When it's time for the holidays, your ghosts always seem to come haunt you, and at a New Year's Eve party in the Compound, they rise to the surface.

Story Content Warnings: References to past trauma and abuse (not detailed), self-worth issues.

Reader is female, no description of appearance besides a mention of her wearing a dress and makeup.

Word Count: 1,064. | This fic on AO3. | Author Masterlist

Alternate Universe: The Avengers Initiative (AI) continued SHIELD's work after its collapse to corruption, with Steve as the Head Strategist and Tony as the Director. The Avengers are living together in the Tower - Bucky has healed, and Civil War never happened because Tony and Steve worked through their differences like adults.

I do not own anything Marvel related. This is an unofficial fan work. No copyright infringement intended. This is a work of fiction. Any similarity to actual persons, living or dead, or actual events, is purely coincidental.

The soft click of the roof terrace door found its way into your consciousness, and as quickly and discreetly as you could, you wiped your wet cheeks with the sleeve of your coat. The makeup had been set in place with the same spray that Nat used for her looks, which meant that it would not falter even in the face of an apocalypse, let alone with a little sniffling.

Crisp night air surrounded you; the lights of the whole Avenger’s Initiative Campus had been turned off so that the fireworks would get the best possible canvas, and in between the shows, you could enjoy the stars. It was beautiful. Peaceful. Your stomach was full of delicious treats from the grazing board — the biggest that you had ever seen. There was a pleasant buzz of a couple of glasses of champagne in your veins and a pretty dress on your body.

You had every reason to be happy.

It didn’t take an agent to recognize the steps that were crossing the roof, so instead of turning around to check, you used the few seconds to try to pull yourself together.

“Here you are,” Bucky breathed out as he reached you, and you could make out a hint of relief from his tone, which made your stomach twist. “I thought you said that you were going to the bathroom?”

His right palm came to rest on the small of your back, and a part of you thought you didn’t deserve that sort of warmth and had probably worried him on top of it.

“I did,” you said, hoping that your voice wouldn’t sound so stuffy that it would give you away. “I just needed a moment to breathe.”

“It’s pretty loud down there,” Bucky replied, shaking his head. “The party games keep getting wilder.”

You nodded, still keeping your eyes on the faraway horizon, the starry skies that spread out above the forests that surrounded the AI Campus. It was peaceful; a home, just as much as the man standing next to you was starting to be after a few months of going steady.

“Yeah,” you said, your flat tone betraying you and making that mocking voice in your head congratulate you for being some agent.

“Doll?” Bucky murmured, and even without looking, you could imagine the crease of worry on his brow. “Is everything alright?”

He knew the answer to that question — it wasn’t a question, not really, simply a chance for you to save face if you weren’t ready to talk about this right now. You weren’t sure you were, but you didn’t want him to worry.

“I’ll be fine, Bucky. I just. Holidays are hard.”

You whispered the final sentence with a voice so tiny you weren’t sure he would’ve heard the words if it wasn’t for his super hearing. Tears burned in your eyes again, the swirl of disgust and disappointment and anger a maelstrom at the bottom of your stomach. You had thought you had left all this behind; you had thought you’d gotten over it, and you weren’t sure which one you hated more, the ones that had caused you to be like this or yourself for still allowing them to have this power over you. Still, after all the years of no contact, when you had your own life and a career and a beautiful group of friends and an amazing partner, their ghosts lingered in the back of your head.

“Hey, come here,” Bucky whispered, wrapping his arms around you and bringing you to him. “Shhh.”

You buried your face against his button-up; with how hot he ran, he hadn’t bothered to get a coat, and you were immensely grateful for it since it allowed you to feel his warmth.

“It was always bad when it was the holidays. Worse than usual,” you managed to say. “And I hate it that I can’t just enjoy it even now, when everything is fine, and I’m afraid I’ll ruin the mood for everyone else and I’m already ruining your night and you’re so wonderful and I don’t deserve you!”

With your last words, you broke down into ragged sobs, and his arms tightened around you. He pressed his face against your hair and slowly rocked you from side to side, gently, letting the worst of the emotion pass you by. You scrunched the fabric of his shirt into your fists, clinging on to him like he was the only steady thing in the world.

“It’s alright, honey,” he cooed. “I’m right here.”

“I’m sorry,” you sniffed. “I’m sorry I’m ruining your night and being such a killjoy when everything is fine.”

“It’s okay. It’s not your fault. You’re not ruining anything,” he whispered.

You centered yourself on the slow movement of his hand on your back, the heat of his body, the scent of his aftershave.

“You could’ve just told me,” he said, and it wasn’t him scolding you.

The quiet tone shot another arrow of guilt through your chest. You hated the idea of him having looked for you from the compound with a pit of worry in his stomach; you weren’t entirely sure how long you’d been gone, but it had to be at least half an hour now.

“I know the holidays aren’t the easiest for you, either,” you said. “I didn’t want to be a burden to you. I’m sorry I worried you.”

“You’re not a burden,” he said. “I want to be there for you. Makes it easier to accept… that I can have my bad days too.”

“Of course you can,” you said.

Finally, you found enough strength to lift your face to look at him. Even in the dim light, you could still see the blue of his eyes, the handsome face framed by a few locks that had escaped the half-bun on the back of his head. It made you all the more conscious about how your eyes were probably swollen and red.

“Sorry, I’m a mess,” you whispered.

“You’re beautiful,” he said. “I’m here. Even when it’s not perfect. Especially then. I love you, you know?”

It wasn’t the first time he said it but it still made you smile regardless of the emotional turmoil that still rolled its way through your body.

“I love you too,” you whispered. “Thank you for being there for me.”

“Always, doll. Always.”

[serickswrites]

Just a Little Bit

Warnings: restraints, captivity, torture, physical violence, public humiliation, cruel whumper

Whumpee's cheeks burned with embarrassment. Whumper had paraded them around town, their arms bound tightly behind their back. Whumper was showing off. Showing off their defeat. Showing off their shame.

Whumpee deserved it. They had failed. They always failed. This was their fault. They should be shamed. Should be beaten. They deserved it.

"Just a little bit more, Whumpee," Whumper said as they reached the town square, "and then I'll take you back to my place and really show you what true defeat looks like."

Whumpee hung their head in shame. This was going to be their lot in life. "Please, Whumper, don't....please."

"Silence," Whumper said as they slapped Whumpee's cheek. Their cheek stung and eyes watered. "I won. This is what I get to do. Whenever I want. Because I won and you lost."

Whumpee couldn't help but cry. Even though they deserved this, they hated every moment of this. Hated every second.

"You're pathetic. If you think this is bad, just wait until we get back to my place and then you will know what true torture is."

Tags: @mousepaw @jumpywhumpywriter @knightinbatteredarmor @hufflepuffwritingstuff2 @anightmarishwhump

@steh-lar-uh-nuhs @celestialsoyeon @st0rmm @ay5ksal @pedro-pedro-pedro-pedro-pe

@artisticdemon

[micamicster]

Ain't it hard just to live?

Baltimore by Nina Simone (cover of Randy Newman) vs The Wire (2002-2008)

[nobodymitskigabriel]

Don't know how I feel about the way some people point to Jack's powers to refute the existence of abusive parent/child power dynamics in which he is the victim since canonically, Jack having powers that he doesn't understand and doesn't know how to control, combined with his naivete, is like...one of the main things that makes him susceptible to abuse in the first place.

[aingeal98]

The thing about Cass and her inflexible moral code is that it was created from death related trauma and cemented as an essential part of her own self worth after years of battling her own suicidal desires. Bruce implied once that if he ever crossed his own moral lines regarding killing he would find it hard to stop, but with Cass it's like... If she ever came up against an opponent so stubborn and correct that she had no choice to miserably concede that "Fine you can kill this person you want to kill. It's the right thing to do. They deserve death at your hands."

Then there's a non zero chance she's just killing herself immediately afterwards.

[nottipezzini]

Addendum.

Finished the season.

It was really nice for Penelope to finally be seen for who she is.

Just kind of disappointing that she and Colin didn't really get to be the main focus like the other couples got to be.

Didn't think watching season 3 of Bridgerton would make me so emotional. Rewatching the first few episodes before the conclusion of the season.

As much as I'm rooting for Penelope. And how smart and utterly beautiful she is.

It is hard as a plus sized, awkward woman who is deeply traumatised.

It brings up a lot of ghosts in my mind. Ones I try so hard to push down and ignore that they exist.

It will probably feel better when I see her and Colin's happy ending.

But right now, I might have to take a break and watch something else for a bit.

One would think that with all the healing and trauma therapy I've done this past decade, I would have made a dent in my selfhatered and abandonment issues. But I have barely scratched the surface of those fundamental wounds.

But inside, there is still that little girl whose insides are made of mines and barbed wire who has never, and will never experience love from anyone.

I'm the same as the actress Nicola. 37...

Rationally, it won't probably be as bad as I imagine. If I ever dared to venture out into the world again.

There will never be the perfect moment for any of it.

Anyone who can't see past my physique. My disabilities and pain aren't worth my time.

It is just so hard to be brave when all you do in life is be brave and constantly become hurt, both emotionally and physically, by everyone around you. It then is so hard, nigh impossible to get back up again.

[snowe-zolynn-rogers]

Good Eclipse: Hey Lunar?

Lunar: Yeah?

Good Eclipse: Am I good enough?

Lunar, pulling out a shotgun: Who told you that you aren’t?

[futurewife]

Ven please, I'm begging you to go to therapy. Your posts hurt me so much cause I recognize myself and people I've loved in them and I always wanna say smth to make you feel better but I know from experience that that only helps for a little while or doesn't help at all or can even make things worse. But you don't have to suffer like this forever!! You can get better and there is help!! And as a fellow pmdd sufferer you can get help with that too. Idk how you feel about medication but going on birth control continuously so you never have periods or using antidepressants or mood stabilizers just for the two nightmare weeks after ovulation can help so much. Please please please I worry about you and I know you can have a good life if you get help! you're beautiful and creative and you have everything you need you just have to figure out how to access it and use it and I know you can do it. I know your F/Os would want you to and I know your future real life S/Os who are waiting for you would want you to too. You deserve to be happy instead of feeling like a ghost all the time.

Thank you anon I appreciate the concern, feel a little bit embarrassed about oversharing now but you know what...sometimes you just have to say it out loud somewhere. As you would know the nature of the disorder means there's often not much that can be done in terms of talking myself out of the way it feels cause biology is so (detrimentally) overpowering and intensifies other mental health issues and generally all pre-existing negative feelings about ones' existence. The ghost analogy is apt and I've often used this to describe how I relate to life and connecting with others. now idk if I can overcome myself and thrive but maybe I could switch some things up and see if it makes it suck a little less

I was on ssris constantly for years previously (edit: and therapy on and off) before I stopped taking them but your ask has me considering intermittent dosing even if I dislike the side effects just to see what happens. I thought I could just grit my teeth and bare it (put myself to sleep between being wracked by ugly crying as I cannot stand being conscious in my own mind) every month in lieu of meds but maybe I can't rawdog slog through dark funhouse mirror evil pmdd reality on my own/shouldn't feel that I have to in order to not "lose"

I was very touched by your reaching out and compassionately disagreeing with me (lol) and it means a lot from another person with pmdd. It helps to think someone out there sees the value in me as I am right now, and that someone else is also fighting their own good fight. When you said I have everything I need I just have to figure out how to access it and use it and you know I can do it you sound just like my grandma. (<3)

[firewolf111]

Roman is sitting in his room, working on a project while reading comments. A shadowy figure creeps in the corner, watching and whispering insecurities, unnoticed, as it had been for a while. This time, it reveals itself.

???: Hello, Creativity.

Roman: *jumping up and turning to face the figure, sword summoned in his hand* Who are you?!

???: Oh my dear, who I am is unimportant. What matters is who you are.

Roman: What do you mean?

???: I mean that I've been... keeping an eye on you for a while now.

Roman: You've been stalking me?!

???: I guess that's one way you could refer to it, if you wish. I prefer... gathering information.

Roman: I'm pretty sure that's what stalking is.

???: The specifics are irrelevant. Much like you.

Roman: What?

???: Oh, you sweet little dear. Haven't you noticed. They don't need you, much less want you. You are worthless to them. To everyone, I'm afraid.

Roman: *sputtering* What?! No, I'm not.

???: Are you sure~

Roman: *opening and closing his mouth* I mean... surely...of course they...

???: You don't sound so sure of yourself. I think you know how little you are worth. You know the truth. Stop lying to yourself. You are nothing.

Roman: That's....That's not true!

???: Isn't it?

Roman: ...I...

???: Exactly. You are worthless. You are useless. You have no point of existing. Your existence is meaningless. You are nothing but a burden. Do them a favor, and leave.

???: *outstretches his hand* Let me take away your pain. Let me take it all away. They would be better without you anyway.

And Roman believes him. He's been telling himself the same things for a while. He was all that and more. He was a mistake.

He stretches out his arm, ready to take the mysterious figure's hand. He almost does, until a notification pops up on the screen beside him. It's a new comment that appears up at the top of the feed he was scrolling through. He gives it a brief glance before it immediately draws him in.

"This video was so well timed. I've been having a terrible week. I was really struggling. But then this video came out and I feel so much better. You always talk about serious topics in a lighthearted way that's so easy to understand and relate to. It has seriously helped me through some tough times. Thanks man, keep up the great videos. And props to Roman for the vid idea ;). Have a great day! <3"

It makes him freeze. Even though he knows the commenter meant it as a joke when they thanked him, made obvious by the winking face, it still was kinda true. It was his job to come up with video ideas. The very video ideas that helped the commenter out.

He stands and stares at the comment for a second before he pulls back his arm and tucks it at his side. He looks back at the figure.

Roman: You know, maybe you're right. Maybe I am all those things you've said. And maybe the others would be better without me. *He glances back at the screen.*

Roman: But if I can make a difference, even to one person, I think I can justify my existence.

[surveillance-0011]

Giving my spider body dysmorphia. Aka Garm cannot comfort people aka this is probably tonally off and maybe a little ooc but the art book's bit on Nipulon drives me insane to this day. I think Nipulon could very well be pushed to this. It seems like the confidence is a bit of a front, or at least built on such shaky ground that some little thing could set him off. And I'm sure sometimes it's just too much.

I mean, if you're the type of guy to try and justify the trafficking and consumption of other sapient races despite cramming your body down in a robot suit to assimilate into mainland society... there's probably some exoskeletons in your closet... some things you gotta unpack... just saying. I could go on but that would be an essay. eventually we'll get to that. Will probably expand this to a full comic or pic eventually.

Also with the implication that Nipulon has permanently injured himself due to this whole robo suit thing btw

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Please don't repost

[ed-recoverry]

Original post

[ddogdeath]

thinking about the time i was at work and this obviously ND little kid was so eager to help put the grocery bags in the cart once i’d filled them (/pos). he tried once or twice to turn it too early when i wasn’t yet done and his parent had to stop him.

while pulling him away, the parent briefly turned to me and said “sorry, he’s desperate to be useful” and that just sat in my mind for so long while i continued that transaction. it was wiped from my mind the second i started the next one because my brain just does that, but every once in a while i remember it and it makes me so sad because me too, kid. me too.

i hope that your parents and peers are supporting you so that you don’t have to continue feeling like to need to go miles for others in order to be good.

[glitchyko]

Alright, so I feel like I need to say something about this since it has been on my mind for a long while and I want to address it.

I want to say I’m sorry for the times when I said I want/will draw something and then just never doing it. I feel bad for setting something up only to never fulfill it. I feel like I’m a liar and I’m just lazy, that I let myself down and failed, even though I know there’s circumstances in my life that make it difficult to do some of the things I wish to do. Things such as ADHD, school, mental health, and other things going on in my life. But I’ve been trying to get better at managing my time, getting things done faster, be more productive, and keep working on my art and perfectionism issues.

I want to do better, I want to actually be able to do and show the stories, aus, ocs, etc, that I constantly say that I think about and want to share with you guys. I want to become better as an artist and writer, and I don’t want to keep being scared to do things I want to do because of perfectionism to a point where I just can’t do anything out of fear of it looking bad and not meeting my unrealistically high standards.

I’m not completely sure where I’m going with this vent talk to be honest, I know I can’t guarantee changes and such immediately, and I don’t want to force myself to work on art stuff just to pump something out on social media as quickly as possible. That is not why I create, and to be honest that sounds like a recipe for burnout, more confidence issues, and not having fun with art anymore. I think what I’m trying to say is, I’m going to try to do things instead of just saying and thinking I want to do something and never doing it.