#tw: mentions of childhood trauma.

[mad-hunts]

david whitaker, the timeless children // M.O.W, a ten word poem // stephen king, the body // franz kafka, a letter to his father // david altmejd, the healers // paisley rekdal, when she named fire: an anthology

[lostmf]

I’m not sure I deserve it ..

[sentientsky]

hmmmmgrhhf thinking bout crowley and childhood trauma and abandonment and rage again

[vicious-daughter-of-zeus]

closed rp starter: mental breakdown with a big ol’ trigger warning

chat this one comes with a MASSIVE trigger warning for the following: sh, suicidal thoughts, child abuse, murder/death, cigarettes, and alcohol

I can however tone it down a little bit, just let me know if you need me to not mention any of these things and I will not mention any of it.

and since it’s a closed starter only interact if you’re close with elektra (aka if you’re in the pinned post). I probably won’t be tagging you here since I’m massively afraid of triggering people.

post for context

it was the day after the mysterious figure had come and taken elektra’s necklace. She was finally free. Then why did she feel so fucking sad? This was a moment she had always fantasized about: a day where she would no longer bear the curse of her necklace, and yet now that this day was here, why was she acting like this?

You found elektra sitting on the floor of the bathroom, she seemed like an entirely different person. All that composure, all that attitude, completely gone. Her eyes were red and her makeup was smudged. All she had on was a tank top and some shorts; you could see knife scars lined up and down her arms and legs with a lichtenberg figure on her right shoulder. Now that her necklace was really gone, you could see bruises around her neck from how often she would yank on it. There were lots cigarette ends and half-empty alcohol bottles littered around the room. She played with a beat up pocket knife in her hands.

[small-but-mightyy]

[huntquinlan]

it’s honestly a shame that sjm is not an author who deals in allegory or is an author who would be able to tactfully write this because i honestly feel like azriel’s scars are such a missed opportunity. i’m putting this under a read more because the topic is sensitive and will be tagged accordingly.

while azriel’s burn scars in canon serve as a physical representation and reminder of the abuse he survived from his father and brothers, when i was reflecting on them and azriel’s own complex relationship with his romantic life and sexuality i realized that if the author of acotar was anyone other than sjm azriel’s scars could easily be read as symbolic representations of trauma from csa. it comes down to them being on his hands as well, hands so often being the conduit by which any type of physical intimacy is initiated.

i think this interpretation is strengthened by azriel’s aversion to fire while fire has been associated with incredibly passionate sex in universe (“fire in his blood and fucks like it too”).

what it ultimately comes down to, for me, is azriel’s centuries long obsession with mor. which comes off as incredibly comphet and strange until the eris reveal, which brings to light the incredibly charged relationship between eris and azriel. and it leads me to wonder how much of it really is mor, if it’s not just the safety of the idea of her to cover what azriel really desires because he’s functionally unable to process that.

not only are the illyrians written as incredibly traditional, but there is no indication given they are accepting of same sex attraction. azriel, who suffered so extremely at the hands of his father and brothers, that he still bares the physical burn scars to his hands, having any attraction to the heir of autumn, practically the crown prince of fire, would be incomprehensible to azriel’s mind. and any part of him that did comprehend it would be terrified and probably ashamed.

eris, of course, represents everything azriel fears and despises. but more importantly, he is the opportunity for azriel to heal from past traumas and fully accept himself and his sexuality.

this interpretation doesn’t negate the possibility for ‘kinky’ azriel either. since everyone seems to be preoccupied with whether he can be a leather dom daddy or not. frankly, any sort of bdsm practice would offer azriel a sort of distance during intimacy (depending on the act and his role) but above all else, enthusiastic and clear consent.

[painstitution]

[nothing0fnothing]

My mom always used to tell me that I was so much more mature than the boys my age because "girls mature faster" and always told me to date older when I started dating.

The men in my family would tell me that the best way for me to succeed was to 1) get really thin 2) get really hot 3) marry an elderly man months from death 4) inherit his money after he died.

Constant discussions about how I shouldn't be dating teenage boys because teenage boys "only want one thing" and I should be waiting to date till my mid 20s when they've "calmed down".

But yeah it was totally my fault when a man in a position of power over me in his late 20s started dming me when I was 13 and I thought it was normal.

[mad-hunts]

goddd. okay, i know it was honestly QUITE some time ago that i talked about jack mathis, so let me just give y'all a bit of a refresher as to why he is the (current) best of that mathis kids in my humble opinion: he doesn't like killing, but will do it in instances where he is 'forced to' (and i mean where he feels like there's no other choice BUT to do so, such as to protect one of his family members, or save them from going to jail, etc.) and jack honestly just wants to make barton proud.

(though, unfortunately, his father tends to treat him the worst out of all of his kids because of his 'joking' attitude). and he is also touch-starved as HELL / actively seeks out anything that will bring him comfort in regards to this, like warm showers, for example. so let me get on to the reason why i'm saying 'god' — him literally barely scraping by on the positive interactions he gets from barton when they have a 'family night' once a week?

as well as once a month, when his father takes a day off to just spend playing video games with jack + whatever else he wants to do? it's such a sad concept for real, because just imagine having five days out of the month feeling like they're the only reason why you've kept whatever semblance of sanity you have left. well, that and his relationship with matilda, as she is the closest sibling to him, but 😭

considering jack has the lowest amount of blood on his hands, and he actually seems to have a stronger conscience (though i could see him still having some moments where he's morally bankrupt)... i think there could be a good chance that he could be, quote unquote, 'flipped' as in change to want to redeem himself. but he feels an obligation to be loyal to his family, which might make that difficult NGL

[lostmf]

“Parents aren’t supposed to bury their kids “

I tell myself

But then parents aren’t supposed to do a lot of things to their children

So I guess it won’t matter if they did this one more thing

[sage-writes-n-coins-mogai]

Me: *Grows up being hit regularly as a kid* *Goes through years of mental abuse and has my mental health and suicidal ideation ignored during my adolescence* *The Parentals failing me when it comes to tending to my emotional and interpersonal development* *Gets groomed during my later teens* *The horror that was me coming out to my parents as nonbinary on Christmas 2021 because I thought they would make an exception when it came to their retrospectively obvious transphobia* *All of this accumulating in me completely losing all trust and emotional attachment I had for She Who Raised Me and her boyfriend and thus leading to pretending I’m a changeling that replaced their real human child to cope with said the loss of connection*

Also me: Wearing diapers, collecting monster high dolls and playing Papa Louie games should fix everything!

[kcyars99]

it goes without saying that child molestaton is nothing to make fun of nor you should out the victim of sexual abuse because it’s the victims story to tell

ALT

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Drake has zero problems harassing and targeting the wives and fiancé of his rivals (pusha t and Kendrick Lamar) and targeting women who once were associated with him but want nothing to do with him (Rihanna, Serena, Megan) but had to be shamed into being a father to his own son

and while he’s sitting here talking about how Kendrick being a "woman beater” and his son not being his but Dave free he’s out there being friends with that leprechaun who shot at Megan four years ago advocating for his freedom which is never gonna happen , possibly hiding an 11 year old daughter , text messaging teenage girls like a lovesick boyfriend even though he’s old enough to be their father and him being loud and wrongo about his rivals rough childhood(see the critical and commercial flop The Heart Part 6 in which f Drake claims that Lamar fixates on the topic of pedophila because of his own supposed molestation as a child, labeling this "trauma from [Lamar's] own confessions". Drake traces this to Lamar's song "Mother I Sober" off of his 2022 album Mr. Morale & The Big Steppers, referring to the song as "that one record where you say you got molested". However, the referenced song is actually about generational trauma and Lamar's mother not believing him when he truthfully told her he had not been molested.)

so it’s a problem for Kendrick to have a successful hit making record breaking potential song of the summer and song of the year, which is a complete annihilation of Drake but it’s okay for Drake to make light of molestation, messing with his male rivals family members and children’s, being inappropriate with teenage girls and hide children and not take care of them and make light of the trauma of black folks more specifically black women traumatic experiences and hangs out with these women’s abusers and it’s all friends with them? Are you kidding me? Don’t make me laugh.

I don’t care if there’s a gummy bear, teddy bears, the bearstein bears, Chicago Bears, Chicago Cubs, Yogi Bear, polar bear, black bear, grizzly bears, mama bear , Jeremy Allen White from the TV series the bear, little bear from the children series little bear, Paddington Bear, corduroy bear, Winnie the Pooh, Bear Grylls, heck, even smoky the bear I’m choosing those bears over Drake every time because they are not a sassy immature biiich like him

[psychocitysblog]

If I died would anyone even care?

[akc-g]

the multiple episodes where rick explicitly is disgusted by child predators to the point someone trying to sexually assault morty immediately makes him actually comfort morty n also crazy murder the assaulter

[furiousgoldfish]

When abusive parents hurt you, they're not 'doing it for your own good' or 'disciplining you', they're singling you out and making you a target. Because they're not doing it to all other kids, they're not doing it to their guests, friends, coworkers, bosses, neighbours, it doesn't even count if all of those people make one of the same mistakes you do. It's allowed for them. It's okay if anyone else does it. It's okay if other people break things, or refuse to be controlled, or speak up, or demand something, or act selfish, or act childish, or don't cater endlessly, or don't guess their moods, or don't act submissive, it's okay for everyone else! Just not for you!

What exactly is that teaching you?

That you're different. That the brutal and torturous rules exist only for you. That you are the only one who deserves no allowances, no forgiveness, no gentleness, no tolerance, no nuance, no love. And you are the only one! Everyone else can get those things and do what they want, but you will get tortured for it, you'll get tortured even for things you didn't do, because these two people have singled you out and deserved that you're so rotten you deserve worse treatment than any other person alive. And those people are your parents, they made you.

It teaches you injustice, it teaches you to put yourself in a different category than anyone else in the world and to assume you must be so intrinsically different that you won't ever find community, you won't ever find somebody to be on your side or similar to you, because you are the only one who could ever deserve this kind of hatred. It separates you from humanity and makes you feel like you don't belong, like you don't have a home here, it makes you abandoned by everyone because nobody is stating anything different about you. With their silence, dismissal and neglect, everyone is passively agreeing that this is what you deserve. That it doesn't matter to them if you live in pain and despair because you're too different, too otherworldly for them to care about.

No child has deserved to feel like that. Nobody is supposed to be pushed into that pit of despair, injustice and pain, alone, with no visible way out. With nothing they can do to redeem themselves, to find a way to see themselves as human after all that's been done to them. This is not a pit that somebody can easily crawl out of, this is something that can follow you all your life.

All children deserve better than this. Never defend abusive parents when they do this to a child. If you don't want a child to believe themselves to be a monster, don't ignore when this is happening and don't act like it's none of anybody's business. It's all of our business to make sure no kid thinks this lowly of themselves, not even if their parents decide they should. Parents who do this to children should be charged with torture, isolation and psychological devastation of a human being. All children are human. And no child deserves that.

[bakersimmer]

When it came to romance, Hanna found herself drawn to individuals mirroring the chaos she had grown up with. Over the past few years, therapy and introspection became essential tools, aiding her in breaking the cycle she was entangled in.

Reflecting on her past, she recognized that her attraction to self-centered and abusive men was deeply rooted in her childhood. The absence of her father, and her mother prioritizing her relationships over caring for Hanna, had created a belief that she was unwanted and unlovable. The pursuit for validation and affection became a recurring theme in her later life, with each relationship unfolding in a familiar pattern – lies, hurt, apologies, promises of change, and declarations of love and need followed by a brief period of bliss. But with each breakup, Hanna's self-esteem took another hit. The unfulfilled promises became a twisted affirmation, reinforcing the belief that she was the source of the problem.

Scrolling through her phone's gallery, Hanna thought about the two years that had passed since her divorce. As she compared the older and more recent pictures, she saw the journey from a fragile, thin, and pale woman to one with bright eyes and a confident smile. But despite the visible transformation, deep-seated doubts about her worth lingered within. On some days, these doubts sought to assert themselves. Nevertheless, she faced this internal struggle with unwavering bravery.

Hanna's gaze settled on a recently taken picture, and she knew instantly – this was the one. With that, her carefully crafted profile was complete.

[Hanna, 30 Brindleton Bay Photographer by day, hopeless romantic by night]

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