#tw: mentions of childhood trauma.

[mad-hunts]

david whitaker, the timeless children // M.O.W, a ten word poem // stephen king, the body // franz kafka, a letter to his father // david altmejd, the healers // paisley rekdal, when she named fire: an anthology

[lostmf]

I’m not sure I deserve it ..

[sentientsky]

hmmmmgrhhf thinking bout crowley and childhood trauma and abandonment and rage again

[small-but-mightyy]

[huntquinlan]

it’s honestly a shame that sjm is not an author who deals in allegory or is an author who would be able to tactfully write this because i honestly feel like azriel’s scars are such a missed opportunity. i’m putting this under a read more because the topic is sensitive and will be tagged accordingly.

while azriel’s burn scars in canon serve as a physical representation and reminder of the abuse he survived from his father and brothers, when i was reflecting on them and azriel’s own complex relationship with his romantic life and sexuality i realized that if the author of acotar was anyone other than sjm azriel’s scars could easily be read as symbolic representations of trauma from csa. it comes down to them being on his hands as well, hands so often being the conduit by which any type of physical intimacy is initiated.

i think this interpretation is strengthened by azriel’s aversion to fire while fire has been associated with incredibly passionate sex in universe (“fire in his blood and fucks like it too”).

what it ultimately comes down to, for me, is azriel’s centuries long obsession with mor. which comes off as incredibly comphet and strange until the eris reveal, which brings to light the incredibly charged relationship between eris and azriel. and it leads me to wonder how much of it really is mor, if it’s not just the safety of the idea of her to cover what azriel really desires because he’s functionally unable to process that.

not only are the illyrians written as incredibly traditional, but there is no indication given they are accepting of same sex attraction. azriel, who suffered so extremely at the hands of his father and brothers, that he still bares the physical burn scars to his hands, having any attraction to the heir of autumn, practically the crown prince of fire, would be incomprehensible to azriel’s mind. and any part of him that did comprehend it would be terrified and probably ashamed.

eris, of course, represents everything azriel fears and despises. but more importantly, he is the opportunity for azriel to heal from past traumas and fully accept himself and his sexuality.

this interpretation doesn’t negate the possibility for ‘kinky’ azriel either. since everyone seems to be preoccupied with whether he can be a leather dom daddy or not. frankly, any sort of bdsm practice would offer azriel a sort of distance during intimacy (depending on the act and his role) but above all else, enthusiastic and clear consent.

[a-j-s-the-only]

This past trauma,

its claws in me

but my soul- my soul

has nowhere to go

[irlangelsdiary]

Facts about intrafamiliar sexual abuse, COCSA, and CSA.

• COCSA can happen with children of any age, but potential incidents can increase as children enter puberty and adolescence.

• 40% of Children who were sexually abused the perpetrator was older and or more powerful

• 5% of children have been affected by sibling sexual abuse.

• It is one of the lowest disclosed forms of sexual abuse, meaning the statistics around this are likely to be higher.

• More than 90% of abusers are people children know, love and trust.

• 30-40% of victims are abused by a family member.

[kcyars99]

it goes without saying that child molestaton is nothing to make fun of nor you should out the victim of sexual abuse because it’s the victims story to tell

ALT

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Drake has zero problems harassing and targeting the wives and fiancé of his rivals (pusha t and Kendrick Lamar) and targeting women who once were associated with him but want nothing to do with him (Rihanna, Serena, Megan) but had to be shamed into being a father to his own son

and while he’s sitting here talking about how Kendrick being a "woman beater” and his son not being his but Dave free he’s out there being friends with that leprechaun who shot at Megan four years ago advocating for his freedom which is never gonna happen , possibly hiding an 11 year old daughter , text messaging teenage girls like a lovesick boyfriend even though he’s old enough to be their father and him being loud and wrongo about his rivals rough childhood(see the critical and commercial flop The Heart Part 6 in which f Drake claims that Lamar fixates on the topic of pedophila because of his own supposed molestation as a child, labeling this "trauma from [Lamar's] own confessions". Drake traces this to Lamar's song "Mother I Sober" off of his 2022 album Mr. Morale & The Big Steppers, referring to the song as "that one record where you say you got molested". However, the referenced song is actually about generational trauma and Lamar's mother not believing him when he truthfully told her he had not been molested.)

so it’s a problem for Kendrick to have a successful hit making record breaking potential song of the summer and song of the year, which is a complete annihilation of Drake but it’s okay for Drake to make light of molestation, messing with his male rivals family members and children’s, being inappropriate with teenage girls and hide children and not take care of them and make light of the trauma of black folks more specifically black women traumatic experiences and hangs out with these women’s abusers and it’s all friends with them? Are you kidding me? Don’t make me laugh.

I don’t care if there’s a gummy bear, teddy bears, the bearstein bears, Chicago Bears, Chicago Cubs, Yogi Bear, polar bear, black bear, grizzly bears, mama bear , Jeremy Allen White from the TV series the bear, little bear from the children series little bear, Paddington Bear, corduroy bear, Winnie the Pooh, Bear Grylls, heck, even smoky the bear I’m choosing those bears over Drake every time because they are not a sassy immature biiich like him

[nothing0fnothing]

My mom always used to tell me that I was so much more mature than the boys my age because "girls mature faster" and always told me to date older when I started dating.

The men in my family would tell me that the best way for me to succeed was to 1) get really thin 2) get really hot 3) marry an elderly man months from death 4) inherit his money after he died.

Constant discussions about how I shouldn't be dating teenage boys because teenage boys "only want one thing" and I should be waiting to date till my mid 20s when they've "calmed down".

But yeah it was totally my fault when a man in a position of power over me in his late 20s started dming me when I was 13 and I thought it was normal.

[sage-thee-herbmaster]

Me: *Grows up being hit regularly as a kid* *Goes through years of mental abuse and has my mental health and suicidal ideation ignored during my adolescence* *The Parentals failing me when it comes to tending to my emotional and interpersonal development* *Gets groomed during my later teens* *The horror that was me coming out to my parents as nonbinary on Christmas 2021 because I thought they would make an exception when it came to their retrospectively obvious transphobia* *All of this accumulating in me completely losing all trust and emotional attachment I had for She Who Raised Me and her boyfriend and thus leading to pretending I’m a changeling that replaced their real human child to cope with said the loss of connection*

Also me: Wearing diapers, collecting monster high dolls and playing Papa Louie games should fix everything!

[mad-hunts]

goddd. okay, i know it was honestly QUITE some time ago that i talked about jack mathis, so let me just give y'all a bit of a refresher as to why he is the (current) best of that mathis kids in my humble opinion: he doesn't like killing, but will do it in instances where he is 'forced to' (and i mean where he feels like there's no other choice BUT to do so, such as to protect one of his family members, or save them from going to jail, etc.) and jack honestly just wants to make barton proud.

(though, unfortunately, his father tends to treat him the worst out of all of his kids because of his 'joking' attitude). and he is also touch-starved as HELL / actively seeks out anything that will bring him comfort in regards to this, like warm showers, for example. so let me get on to the reason why i'm saying 'god' — him literally barely scraping by on the positive interactions he gets from barton when they have a 'family night' once a week?

as well as once a month, when his father takes a day off to just spend playing video games with jack + whatever else he wants to do? it's such a sad concept for real, because just imagine having five days out of the month feeling like they're the only reason why you've kept whatever semblance of sanity you have left. well, that and his relationship with matilda, as she is the closest sibling to him, but 😭

considering jack has the lowest amount of blood on his hands, and he actually seems to have a stronger conscience (though i could see him still having some moments where he's morally bankrupt)... i think there could be a good chance that he could be, quote unquote, 'flipped' as in change to want to redeem himself. but he feels an obligation to be loyal to his family, which might make that difficult NGL

[lostmf]

“Parents aren’t supposed to bury their kids “

I tell myself

But then parents aren’t supposed to do a lot of things to their children

So I guess it won’t matter if they did this one more thing

[feralboo-the-weirdo]

I think we should normalize active parenting. Like we have plenty of examples of neglectful parents, we should get some of active parents. Also, to all the parents already doing the stuff below, great work.

I don't have kids, but I was a kid, and I think these are things parents should know.

If your child comes to you with a concern, no matter how insignificant or stupid you personally find it, take them seriously. It is important to them, even if it isn't important to you. Also, they wouldn't bring it up to you unless they thought it was important. Taking your children's "smaller" concerns seriously will make it far more likely they will come to you with the biger ones. Also, if it's a problem you can't solve, there is no shame in getting outside help, even if it means "exposing" the fact things aren't perfect. You cannot solve every single one of your child's problems alone. And you should help them solve problems, so you aren't solving everything for them. They do need to learn how to solve things on their own, like fights with siblings, or schoolwork. WITHIN REASON. If your child brings up to you that one of their siblings is depressed, or is struggling with something else like that (I.e. an eating disorder or self harm, or other mental illnesses), or otherwise heavy concerns, IT SHOULD NOT BE THE CHILDS RESPONSIBILITY TO FIX IT AND HELP THE SIBLING. YOU ARE THE ADULT. NOT THEM.

No child should EVER have to be the one dealing with these things because you don't think they're important, and you want to ignore them. Just because it's common that most siblings have to be a third parent doesn't mean it should be. Sweeping it under the rug is easy, but you SHOULD NOT make your child deal with it because they knew you didn't care.

Children and teens will match your energy. If you don't care about what they say the chances of them talking to you, and/listening to you decrease dramaticlly.

Also. The same goes for when they're excited about something. Positive reinforcment will make them far more likely to succeed becasue they know you'll care. They figured out how to tie their shoes? AMAZING. They drew a really really crappy stickfigure drawing of a person petting a cat? Tell them what you like about it, (colors, bold lines, etc) and maybe sandwich in a suggestion for how they could make it better.

Further, If your child is upset about something, don't belittle them because you don't think they should be upset about it. at that point you're past they shouldn't be upset about it, they ARE upset about it. Also, this moment, right now, for them is the hardest they have ever lived. Just because they're not an adult and they're not struggling with the same things as you, doesn't make their struggles any less valid. It might not seem like it because you know that not getting an A in math is not the same level as not being able to pay rent, but it's on that level for them. Just because it's "kid" struggles, doesn't mean it's not a struggle. They deserve to have their feelings validated just as much as you do, even though it's not an adult problem. Stuff is really really really hard as a kid because you don't have the skills to cope with things and you're experiencing a lot of things for the first time in high dosages, and it's hard.

Do with this what you will, but I wish my parents had done ANY of this when I was growing up.

[psychocitysblog]

If I died would anyone even care?

[energylessartist]

... I hope my father curses my name when he's burning in hell one day. I hope he remembers, if nothing else, the last time I tried to be emotionally vulnerable to him when he's one day on his death bed and wondering why I'm not there for him. I hope he remembers his reaction, how he mocked me and said, without directly saying it, that he knew my mental state better than I did. That he remembers every time he yelled at me for nothing. That he finally realizes why I started lieing to him at all. That he realizes it was him telling me there was no way I could ever be stressed that made me finally realize he didn't fucking care about me as much as he did about being right. I hope he realizes that was the day I decided I wanted the fuck out of that house. I hope he realizes I loved him so, so much before that day, and even more before he lost his job and started being home more during the day. I hope he realizes I was trying so hard to be what he wanted. That I was frustrated about my failures. That I thought it was my fault and my fault alone that our relationship was so bad for half a decade. That I wanted him to bring me out back and put a bullet through my skull for 4 years before I realized he was also at fault, even just a little bit, and still did for another 4. I hope he realizes that I don't fucking care what he thinks or thought. It was his actions that pushed me away. Him yelling at me for breathing too hard. Getting mad and pushing me into a defensive reaction because I flapped my hands around after a stressful-for-me conversation with him to try to calm myself down, which he later claimed was started by me. Constantly accusing me of and punishing me for lieing, even when I could prove I wasn't. Because my being guilty, my being under his control, was more important to him than my freedom. I hope he realizes it was his bullshit behavior that led to my love for him shriveling like a jungle tree planted in the driest part of the desert. I also hope my mother and sister realize I still love them so deeply. That I still wish I could maintain a relationship with them. That they still have a place in my heart. That I still care and worry about them... that they're why I stayed, so he wouldn't hurt them like he did me... that they're why I stayed, because I'm scared, even now, to lose them... that I never would've left if momma had divorced my father literally ever... that I want, even now, a closer relationship with them... that they're part of why I didn't commit suicide by the time I was 14, even if they don't believe or realize it right now... part of why I didn't when he told me outright to kill myself and see what happened, an event that happened when they weren't home, an event I know they'll never believe happened...

[furiousgoldfish]

When abusive parents hurt you, they're not 'doing it for your own good' or 'disciplining you', they're singling you out and making you a target. Because they're not doing it to all other kids, they're not doing it to their guests, friends, coworkers, bosses, neighbours, it doesn't even count if all of those people make one of the same mistakes you do. It's allowed for them. It's okay if anyone else does it. It's okay if other people break things, or refuse to be controlled, or speak up, or demand something, or act selfish, or act childish, or don't cater endlessly, or don't guess their moods, or don't act submissive, it's okay for everyone else! Just not for you!

What exactly is that teaching you?

That you're different. That the brutal and torturous rules exist only for you. That you are the only one who deserves no allowances, no forgiveness, no gentleness, no tolerance, no nuance, no love. And you are the only one! Everyone else can get those things and do what they want, but you will get tortured for it, you'll get tortured even for things you didn't do, because these two people have singled you out and deserved that you're so rotten you deserve worse treatment than any other person alive. And those people are your parents, they made you.

It teaches you injustice, it teaches you to put yourself in a different category than anyone else in the world and to assume you must be so intrinsically different that you won't ever find community, you won't ever find somebody to be on your side or similar to you, because you are the only one who could ever deserve this kind of hatred. It separates you from humanity and makes you feel like you don't belong, like you don't have a home here, it makes you abandoned by everyone because nobody is stating anything different about you. With their silence, dismissal and neglect, everyone is passively agreeing that this is what you deserve. That it doesn't matter to them if you live in pain and despair because you're too different, too otherworldly for them to care about.

No child has deserved to feel like that. Nobody is supposed to be pushed into that pit of despair, injustice and pain, alone, with no visible way out. With nothing they can do to redeem themselves, to find a way to see themselves as human after all that's been done to them. This is not a pit that somebody can easily crawl out of, this is something that can follow you all your life.

All children deserve better than this. Never defend abusive parents when they do this to a child. If you don't want a child to believe themselves to be a monster, don't ignore when this is happening and don't act like it's none of anybody's business. It's all of our business to make sure no kid thinks this lowly of themselves, not even if their parents decide they should. Parents who do this to children should be charged with torture, isolation and psychological devastation of a human being. All children are human. And no child deserves that.