#this was so painful what the fuck
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Kaveh fan song really went from
to
this...
#genshin#genshin impact#kaveh#jesus fucking christ#I love this song but oh my archons#I cried so bad#this was so painful what the fuck#I am not okay#someone please give him a hug
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to lose you
#sonic the hedgehog#shadow the hedgehog#sth#im insane im crazy i have to end it all i saw a singular dialogue in sonadow gens that made me go so fucking crazy dude im in tears#i dont subscribe to the sonic as reincarnated maria theory but how beautiful is it that shadow always had somebody in his life#that loves the earth more than anything else#somebody who wants him to see its beauty no matter what#that will never give up on him#he has never been without that#despite all his pain#sonic x shadow generations#sxs generations#shadow#sonic#sonic fanart#sonic art#sonic fandom#sonic series#shadow fanart#sonic the hedgehog fanart#art of crane
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When a cunty witch beats you to death then steals your boy toy for eternal torment 😢 (based on that 'don't you miss her???' meme)
#the og Pathetic Little Meow Meow#catwin#the cat king#thomas the cat king#edwin payne#edwin paine#dead boy detectives#dead boy detectives spoilers#dbda#dbda spoilers#crystal palace#niko sasaki#my art#i feel like we dont talk about the Cat King's depression outfit enough#its so horrible i love it so much those ugly fucking sunglasses#whats even the point his kept boy is off leash and being tortured by a woman in fishnets#catwin fanart
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you know, you know. no gods, no masters, no kings on pedestals. everyone is fallible. death of the author. you know! you are balanced about your intake of media - you allow the wiggle room, the grace, the gratitude, the skepticism. nobody above criticism.
but still. a weird gut-punch feeling, something akin to betrayal. you read the article. surprise! an author you love is actually: a serial fucking predator.
well, shit. what now. no, you knew he was a person (all people are), but now you're wondering - what have i overlooked by accident? what messages have i internalized that are strange and cruel? and also, like, what the fuck?
his actions lay a thick glaze on top of everything. like each place is now ruined, opaque in a new way. but okay, fine, you've done this before. you knew better, right? you've been betrayed by many a cherished childhood author.
still, this stickiness. fuck. can you pick up that book again. will you read it to your children. you've recommended it to others - will you ever do that again? and of course, of course, no parasocial relationships. you were theoretically above this kind of sentiment. but the artist informs the art, right.
so it's not something as clear-cut as feeling he owed you, specifically (a stranger) better behavior - just that you kind of, in a distant and odd way... sort of trusted him to do better. it's not like a real trust or something speakable, just the faint hope that the product (good books) was a thin representation of the soul. now it feels like the product (good? books?) was a mask. in some small or insignificant way, your previous support of this person lent them power. your money and your time and your laughter.
and the thing is - you have this terrible, echoing sensation. how many times will this happen? over and over. you find out that the singer you love is actually a predator. you learn over drinks that your favorite high school english teacher is in jail for what he did to her. you listen to the news idly and suddenly discover that a woman you used to idolize has been abusing her kids for an actual eon.
what can you touch without the static melting off. you can't even really complain about it too much (you were supposed to know better, and besides, you don't want the same re-split "it's not your fault, love what you love" basic advice), but now it's here. somehow, it feels like - you let him into your life.
it's not that things need to be pure or an artist has to be like, endlessly perfect, mindful. demure. it's more just this terrible truth that has been replayed through your veins so often it feels criminally vain. power corrupts, absolute power corrupts absolutely. did you want any one person to be worth that power?
it's just that he wrote books where he seemed to understand that. he seemed to know about hierarchies and unfair systems and bigotry and privilege. you thought they were books about what it means to struggle. you thought they were about having power and still using it for good rather than for control. he spooned you a narrative of being a good guy, a kind soul. you fucking bought what that fucking monster sold.
maybe that's why they were fantasies, after all.
#spilled ink#warm up#oh im .... sick to my stomach.#i talked to him. like ....... we talked. that man interacted with my poetry and writing.#that article.... gutwrenching. i am so sorry to everyone he's ever even been in the room with.#i feel.... like... unbearably. sick.#he acted like he was cool and friends with me!! we were cool internet writers together!!!!!#i feel sick for even having been polite to him.#i ...... am experiencing something so fucking complicated.#i wonder how many of u are feeling that too. like ''oh i sent him an ask and he was funny and sweet''#THATS HOW THEY GET U. ..... and YES I KNOW!!!#i am so fucking well-read about parasocial relationships. it would just be nice to like. trust that someone ISNT#hiding a huge fucking background of BEING A COMPLETE MONSTER. LIKE WHAT THE FUCK.#by the way i am not part of a fandom. this is “what the fuck i accidentally supported a rapist” not#“but my showww”. like i care far more about like. the human cost.#but also like... people are people. idk i saw a take on here about how nobody should mourn the books#and idk. people almost always reply to any scenario with their personal experience first -#''i knew him'' or ''wow i was just at that store'' or ''i grew up there'' or whatever. because that is how we establish connection &#emotional weight. that's just... a person thing. and there is a difference between 'oh this guy is a monster'' & the feeling of:#he's been a monster and i SUPPORTED THAT. i CELEBRATED him. i !!! a fucking victim myself!!!!!!!!! SUPPORTED . HIM.#i am sick. i feel so much pain for her and everyone he's ever hurt. saying ''the books are ruined'' is i think ... like how people say#they're shocked and disgusted by him. (obviously there's nuance here. im sure there's some creep doin it wrong. but u know. in general)#idk..... im an author. i understand my work is in your life in whatever small way. i understand that connection. it's real.
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a new star
#i been thinkin about the asteroid again#i think about the asteroid a lot more than i think is normal#like just the complete randomness of it and how everything changed in literally the blink of an eye#like the dinoss rules the fucking earth and probably still would if space had just been a little bit different#how long did it take the asteroid to reach us#at what point was the impact inevitable#like these sound like scientific answers but i need you to know these are questions that my soul wants answered in poetry#yes the math is cool but can i talk about what tragedy looks like melted into the earth#how power and pain and mourning but also change and new life and a future were embedded in a layer of iridum that spread around the planet#can we talk about how looking at the layers of the earth is the most physical type of time travel there is#can i please talk about that layer of pain#can i mourn when i see it#or am i just a weird kid crying when i look at rocks#ALSO. was parasaurolophus alive when the asteroid hit? i dont think so#but it's too late#yall get to suffer with me#dinosaurs
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This man is ART.
#boku no hero academia#my hero academia#bnha#mha#dabi#touya todoroki#bnha dabi#mha dabi#bnha season 7#mha season 7#NO BECAUSE WHY IS HE BEING SO PRETTY WHEN ON THE VERGE OF EXPLODING??????#I CAN’T MAKE THIS SHIT UP HE IS JUST THAT BEAUTIFUL WHAT THE FUCK??????#ALSO HIS FOREHEAD HELLO??????? I’M ALWAYS A SLVT FOR SOME DABI FOREHEAD#guys… i now am losing it but earlier i was crying so bad my voice has become hoarse…#i need horikoshi to pay for all the pain he inflicted to us and touya…#because getting away with it so easily it’s UNFAIR
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a moment of silence for all us disabled ones who had to watch each of their friends move on with their lives without you and get jobs, go to school, have partners come and go, get engaged and move house etc.
shout out to my fellow struggling people who are still sitting in the same bedroom they grew up in. the ones who can't get a job, can't make new friends, can't find a partner or partners, can't move house and can't go to school.
I hope one day we can all find someone to at least sit with us in our rooms. I see you and I understand... and I'm sorry we can't be that person for each other
#hell o void#hell o hadal#disabled#disability#invisible disability#nuerodivergent#nuerodiversity#mental health#agoraphobia#depression#anxiety#chronic pain#chronic fatigue#autistic#autism#i know this applies to more people but i am too tired to think of more tags and i really need to stop posting and do other things#but this is something i struggle with constantly and cant get over so#about#it hurts even more knowing that my friends who have done this are also disabled#like.... what do you mean they can overcome their disabilities and have lives why the fuck cant i do that
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a glass sun 1/2
#my art#my stuff#this is really fucking long so im gonna have to break it up into multiple reblogs#(howling) WAUGHHHHHHH#i love aishang by xiaoshiguniang#i love to implicate my alma mater in my art about being gay in the shittiest most conservative corner of singaporean society#by some terrible trick of fate i ended up in the conservative chinese christian cishet circuit from primary school to end of hs#obviously i am not most of these things but there i was. Depressed#and there i was after that at Liberal Arts College. the 4 years i spent there were a clusterfuck#but like a good and outrageous and lively clusterfuck#and i graduated in may this year and when i came back it was for the first time in 10 months. it was like. what da hell#like i love being here in specific ways but there is also the pain of being seen as something you're not constantly#can i blame them? i ask myself this every day. for most of my ex classmates and relatives i Am the only not cis person they know#idk my lottery number was bad this corner of society really is that bad#and so its like. idk dawg anyway i aint offering solutions but u get it like it fucks with your head to be misgendered either which way 24/#but to leave them behind would be to leave the only people who knew me for the first 19 years behind. and thats a lot of my life#i am 23!!!!!! ough#anyway. whatever. if u liked it i have a ko-fi#reblogos appreciated
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And on our dates, it's never daytime When she gets playful with a steak knife I need a break, maybe I'll take five Shake it up and medicate, maybe I'll take five
#EXPLODES YOU WITH MY MIND#I HAVE DRAWN#UHH#SO MANY ART PIECES TODAY#LIKE 3#FULLY FINISHED#WHAT THE FUCK#ALSO I THINK I HAVE ARTHRITIS IN MY MIDDLE FINGER#ITS OWCHIE#AND ITS ONLY GOTTEN WORSE OVER HTE YEARS#SO UHH FUCK ME I GUESS#BUT NO PAIN NO GAIN RAHHHH#starbee#transformers g1#tf g1#tf generation one#transformers bumblebee#bumblebee transformers#tf bumblebee#starscream#tf starscream#starscream g1#g1 starscream#maccadam#macadam#birdieghostart#digital illustration#my art#s*x with a ghost is a song that is SOOOO starbee coded#rotting you with my brain
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Getting creative with recognition
uh not so cute/funny random drabble of the AU:
warning: not proofread and just me rambling, bad writing LMAO
#me: blind au is a delicate au with a lot of pain-struggle of a man of power that lost everything he needed-and#also me: hehe so what if *honk honk* bahonkas?#also idk why it looks blurry but i swear its good resolution once you click on it#alright this au begins i guess what a way to kick things off#also Price is a little shit he alr know it was Simon based on the quiet footstep and cologne#just wanted to fk with the big man who's also a mess bcuz what was Si suppose to do in the face of his lov- *gunshot* crus- *explode* BOSS#also i got lazy with signature and fucking got a transparent jpg for it#blind!Price#<- tag to find anything related to this au#i swear i'll work on it properly bUT UNTIL THEN.#gummmyart#doodle#ghostprice#priceghost#they're switch idc#simon ghost riley#captain john price
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☕️🥞 sketch dump
#she caught the goro disease....... itll be a long and painful death.....#guessss who finished playing througj 11/20 and the engine room hahahaha#imagine already being spoiled for what happens and still getting emotionally bodyslammed by the twists anyways. cant be me#(started sweating at engine room mention and straight up cried at the glove dialogue option ATLUS WHEN I FUCKING CATCH YIO)#man fuck these guys i hate this game#sorry i have literally nothing to post right now i have not been drawing (stuck to my pc on p5r 90% of my awake hours)#in my brief 2-4am window of drawing time ive been cranking out more shuake sketches but none of them are colored so like#i have around 4 lined up after i finish taking care of zine stuff though#akechi goro#goro akechi#kurusu akira#akira kurusu#amamiya ren#ren amamiya#shuake#akeshu#p5#p5r#persona 5#persona 5 royal#my art#ITS SO OVER 😂😂😂😂😂😂
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Constantly plagued with thoughts of Edwin now knowing he enjoys being courted and Charles (compulsive charmer) with a whole new arsenal up his sleeve (laser focus on Monty’s whole deal)
“I mean, my smile is prett-y convincing” yeah yeah okay I can see where this is heading. Outlook not so good (for me)
#and the thing is#Charles wouldn’t even be actively or intentionally doing it to woo Edwin. that’s not on his radar what’s he need to do that for.#he’s just Like That#an artist perfecting his art form you could say#Edwin knows! obviously. which is even more satisfying bc#he gets to be on the receiving end of All That AND he gets to be a massive bitch about it#the scathing commentary is directly proportional to how pleased he is#which CHARLES knows#Charles said nothing would change!!! and nothing has they’re still /them/#maybe he’s even working on figuring the rest out. that’s not important.#someone fucking put me down already I am constantly so pained#dead boy detectives#Charles Rowland#Edwin Payne#dbda#don’t think I’ve ever used a ship tag on a post before but hey#payneland#I say hi
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Cars are a form of mobility aid! Your solarpunk future has to include space for people who still need cars.
Who need to arrive to a parking spot right outside the building ,and not have an alternative of walking a mile if that One Spot is full. Who need safe places to decompress or change medical equipment, who are immunocompromised and risk major health complications from the wrong crowded bus. Who get so overstimulated/in pain/exhausted walking around town that they can't attend the actual event otherwise. Who need space for their medical equipment/backup mobility aids/service dog.
We absolutely need a world where Public transit and walkable cities are the default! And!! There has to be room for disabled people and our needs in your revolution!
#cpunk#cripplepunk#chronic pain#fatigue#disability#solarpunk#so sick of all or nothing no nuance posts disparaging cars or framing them as isolating from the community#without any retrospection on what they enable disabled people to access just like any mobility aid#dont forget about us because every level of the current system already fucking did
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yuuji’s the friend that’s ridiculously affectionate, but he’s that way with everyone he’s close to, so it’s easy not to pay it any attention. he drapes his arm and his entire body weight across megumi’s shoulders, he plays with megumi’s fingers when he’s bored, lays his head in nobara’s lap while they gossip, on a good day, he can even be found brushing and braiding her hair—yuuji’s even twirled gojo around in a hug on more than one occasion, so it’s nothing out of the ordinary. except, he seems to have a thing for just picking you up. when he’s trying to get by in the cramped kitchen, instead of squeezing behind you, he often puts his hands on your hips, lifts you and swivels and places you right back on your feet before fetching cereal from the cabinet like it’s no big deal. you’re one to fall asleep on the couch, but yuuji’s one to lift you up bridal style and carry you back to your room—or over his shoulder in a fireman’s carry when you’re drunk and want to fight back and insist that you’re sober. there’s a puddle on the ground and instead of helping you hop to the other side, he just wraps his arm around your waist and carries you while he jumps across, puts you down, and continues on walking. you get good news and yuuji’s the first to pick you up and throw you up and down like you weigh nothing to him, like you’re a kid and he’s your trampoline… he’s so casual with all his affection, you know it’s second nature to him, but that doesn’t make it easier for your brain to short circuit in those moments… makes you stop to wonder if he’s that strong unintentionally and attractive without thought, then what can he do when he’s trying…
#bites a brick wall he's so . hes so effortlessly attractive i need to bash his head into drywall.#it probably wouldn't hurt him...#two things we brush over too quickly as a society:#(1) yuuji just. punching through a concrete wall and being surprised that other people cant. what the hell what the FUCK#and (2) 'if it's just pain itadori yuuji won't stop'. like///thats crazy..... GOD. i need to have him#yuuji itadori x reader#yuuji x reader#yuji itadori x reader#yuji x reader#💌
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some thoughts wrt the two established "romances" in severance so far (burt/irving and helly/mark) inspired by @figmentof who pointed out how irving had to find out mark and helly kissed from the corporate video in s2 e1 and how he must have felt seeing his co-workers' love affair like portrayed like that, and how it ties into the queer narrative at play here which uses workplace dynamics and policies as very clear analogues for real-life prejudice against queer couples. I mean, just look at this:
it's not just documented, but celebrated. used as propaganda for how the conditions on the severance floor have improved. proof that the severed workers are happy. and how even though he is unaware of the sociopolitical meaning of all this, lumon is very not-subtly telling him that what he had with burt is inherently lower and less valuable than this.
irving doesn't even know homophobia exists and yet he is still affected by it, it still seeps into every corner of the way his and burt's romance progresses. burt is positioned as an unacceptable love interest from the jump. irv is actively discouraged at every turn from pursuing it. their friendship is viewed with disgust and apprehension from their coworkers. burt working in a different department that's hated by MDR. dylan himself not being homophobic in the sense he opposes their relationship because they're both men but his attempts to keep them apart still has a parallel sort of prejudice behind it and still ultimately has the same effect as if it WERE driven by homophobia. irving is made to feel perverse for wanting contact with burt. he's told this is for his own good.
and then, just as they manage to overcome that immediate resistance from their peers and escape to a place where they can explore this blossoming romance on their own terms, burt retires. for all it matters to irv, he's dead. and then irving is given the option to live the rest of his life with grief that will never heal, or kill himself too, because there is no reality where they get to be together. that's just the way things are. of course they wouldn't get to be together. he was unreasonable and childish for ever hoping that could happen. this is just the way it goes for innies. he's told to get ahold of himself and not make a scene.
but the thing is, the standards are not the same for all. a heterosexual romance gets upheld as the shining example of success and fulfilment for the severed employees, whilst a homosexual romance is ridiculed and invalidated, and written off as something that was simply never meant to be. and even more importantly to irving, a heterosexual romance is APPROVED OF by lumon, and by extension, by kier. irv held back from allowing himself to even call his and burt's relationship a romance, because his god had told him it was wrong, he followed the handbook, thinking this was what kier wanted, and then finding out after suffering the worst heartbreak imaginable because of it, that this WASN'T EVEN TRUE. it's simply just that someone like HIM doesn't get to have something like this. his love is not the kind of love god wants. he does not approve of irv's love. cynical and manipulative though that approval may be (even within the context of the corporate video, the helly/mark romance is only being celebrated to further the narrative that lumon care for their workers, but the point still remains that it was THEIR romance specifically used to suit this end), when your entire life has been in pursuit of that approval, it must be devastating to learn it was never on the cards for you.
he and burt even used the fact kier met and fell in love with his wife in the same circumstances as them to justify this to each other - and they were RIGHT, god does approve of falling in love with your coworkers - this simply just doesn't apply to them specifically. and if irving needed any more proof that he no longer has a place at lumon, that he's better off not existing at all than existing with this pain that cannot be remedied, pain that won't even be acknowledged for what it is, a symptom of a sickness which plagues the entire severance system, pain that he is simply expected to choke down and get over - this is that proof.
and that's the POINT. they're TELLING us that this is unjust, and there's a double standard. they're using the ways the innies experience romance and the difference in lumon's reaction (lumon being the collective of all the management we've seen, lumon as a singular entity) to burt/irving vs helly/mark to comment on how queer people are not afforded the same level of respect or validation IN REAL LIFE, for their attachments, their love, their pain, their suffering. it is NOT just incidental that irving's romance is with a man. it would not WORK if his love interest was a woman. the POINT is that they are both men and how that puts them at a disadvantage, even if they aren't aware of the prejudices of the outside world, even if they don't TECHNICALLY apply on the severance floor, there are very clear analogues which still end up oppressing them in equivalent ways that they would be suffering if this were a normal workplace in the outside world.
it genuinely sickens me to my stomach that even in a world so divorced from reality and the sensibilities of regular society, a queer couple is still made to suffer and feel inferior in a way that perfectly mirrors their real-life counterparts. how they will never, EVER be allowed to exist in a world where their love could thrive freely and uninhibited - they never get to taste the joy our world has to offer people like them, but they are still somehow subjected to all the pain it has to offer them regardless. it's such horrifically devastating writing. it makes my skin crawl. I can't stop thinking about it
#TO BE CLEAR i am not trying to claim that lumon do genuinely want helly and mark to be a couple#they very begrudgingly co-opted this display of affection and camaraderie to suit their own ends#like i say. the approval is cynical. its purely utilitarian.#however the fact it CAN be used to further their narrative that severance is a good thing#whilst severance itself has brought nothing but pain to irv and his romantic endeavours#is very telling. its very fucking telling#especially from irvs perspective specifically here. this is how HE'D see it#as someone who puts so much stock in what kier would think of him. someone who based his entire identity#on following his doctrine to the letter. how he would see the one real true thing hes ever experienced written off like this#whilst another couple is inexplicably celebrated. i mean just look at his dead eyed stare in that sc.#this broke him. this was his final straw#anyways im not nearly intelligent or well read enough to do a thorough analysis on exactly how#religion plays into irvs mindset and his character arc#these are just thoughts on the hypocrisy shown by lumon on the romance thing specifically#clocking into writing meta for this show like its a 9-5. its so serious.#severance#severance spoilers#severance season 2#meta tag#wails from the abyss#irving bailiff#burt x irving
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Black and white canvases my beloved
#I just love linearting things without colour ngl#It's fun :)#Also also what's the thing my favorite characters have in common?? Can you guess??#Spoiler alert#They fucking die#This game is like “Okay here's characters you will absolutely love. And we're gonna put them through so much torture and pain.”#“They're not gonna live to see you fix it either. :)” :(#digital art#art#hollow knight#the hollow knight#hk hollow knight#hk tiso#tiso#hk quirrel#quirrel
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