#can i mourn when i see it
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a new star
#i been thinkin about the asteroid again#i think about the asteroid a lot more than i think is normal#like just the complete randomness of it and how everything changed in literally the blink of an eye#like the dinoss rules the fucking earth and probably still would if space had just been a little bit different#how long did it take the asteroid to reach us#at what point was the impact inevitable#like these sound like scientific answers but i need you to know these are questions that my soul wants answered in poetry#yes the math is cool but can i talk about what tragedy looks like melted into the earth#how power and pain and mourning but also change and new life and a future were embedded in a layer of iridum that spread around the planet#can we talk about how looking at the layers of the earth is the most physical type of time travel there is#can i please talk about that layer of pain#can i mourn when i see it#or am i just a weird kid crying when i look at rocks#ALSO. was parasaurolophus alive when the asteroid hit? i dont think so#but it's too late#yall get to suffer with me#dinosaurs
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Energy never dies, it just transforms
(some people believe that seeing a cardinal is sign or message from a deceased loved one, or that cardinals appear when angels or spirits are near)
#dutch van der linde#rdr2#red dead redemption 2#art crimes with koko#I’m never drawing a fucking tree again I stg#or feathers#someone told me this about cardinals and mourning doves when a loved one of mine passed years ago#and now I have a whole flock that live in my backyard#and this is all I can think about#the cardinal could be both of them or a general message or even annabelle#interpret as you see fit
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The Immortal Weight of Tim Drake
There’s a part of Tim that he keeps buried deep inside, locked away so no one can see it—will ever see it. He can’t let them know. Not Dick, not Jason, not Bruce. Hell, not even Steph or Cass. It’s better this way. Because the truth is, Tim Drake isn’t like them. He can’t stay dead.
No matter how many times it happens—how many times a blade finds its way into his gut, a bullet catches him in the chest, or a fall from a skyscraper crushes every bone in his body—Tim comes back. Not right away. No, it takes minutes, sometimes agonizing minutes, where he lies broken, breathless, and unmoving, with nothing but the darkness pressing in. He feels it each time. The quiet nothingness of death that should be final but never is.
He’s not like Jason.
Jason died. Really, truly died. He was buried, mourned, and remembered as the second Robin. His grave sat cold, a monument to a boy too good for the world, too bright to last. And Jason, when he clawed his way out, became a zombie in every sense of the word—not quite living but not quite dead either.
Jason knows what it’s like to rise from death, to feel like he doesn’t belong, like a walking corpse.
But Tim doesn’t know that part.
Tim knows what it’s like to die. He knows the brief moments of oblivion that come with it, the aching cold, the stillness. But he’ll never stay dead. His revival is a guaranteed, while Jason's was a miracle. He’ll never have a grave. Never be mourned, because he’ll always come back.
And that’s what hurts the most.
No one sees him die. He’s careful. So damn careful. On the rare occasions when he can’t hide the fact that he’s dead for a few minutes—those close calls where he doesn’t get up fast enough—he brushes it off, masking the pain with a smile and a joke. If anyone noticed the blood pooling in his suit or the sickening sound of his heart stopping for too long, they never questioned it. The danger passes, and life goes on.
For them, anyway.
For Tim, it never really stops. Every death, every time he’s pushed past the edge, it weighs on him. He knows he’s playing with something dangerous—something unnatural. But what choice does he have? The truth is, it’s not just that he can’t stay dead—it’s that he should be dead. So many times over, in fact.
There are days when Tim wonders if he’s meant to be this way. Maybe, in some twisted, cosmic joke, the universe decided that Tim Drake would be the one who can’t die. Maybe it’s because Gotham needs someone like him. Someone to shoulder the risks no one else can take. After all, if Tim can’t die, what’s one more mission where death is a near certainty? What’s one more gamble with his life? It doesn’t matter anymore, right?
And he doesn’t want them to know, because the moment they know, everything changes. If Dick saw Tim’s body cold and unmoving for just a little too long—if Bruce knew Tim had been gone, even for a heartbeat—what would they do? Tim knows exactly what they’d do. They’d stop sending him on the dangerous missions. They’d protect him, smother him with concern, lock him away to preserve him like some fragile thing that can’t be touched.
But the truth is, Tim’s more dangerous now than he’s ever been. Because he can go where no one else can. He can risk everything, go into every deadly mission, every impossible scenario where the chance of survival is zero. Because he’s already proven that, for him, death is temporary.
That doesn’t mean it doesn’t hurt. It doesn’t mean he isn’t scared every single time it happens—when he feels life slipping away, the weight of his body going limp, his heart stopping, his breath gone. There’s that brief moment, that flicker of panic in his chest as he wonders, Is this the time I don’t come back? Is this the one that sticks?
But then the pain rushes back, and so does his heartbeat.
He’s alive again, and no one’s the wiser.
Tim can die a thousand times over, but he’ll always get back up. And that’s his curse. To always come back. Even if it means he’ll always be alone in the moments that matter most.
He’ll never have a grave. Never be mourned. But maybe that’s the point.
Jason can have the grave, the tragedy, the return from death that breaks the world apart. Tim just… dies. And he’ll keep dying. Keep coming back. Because that’s what he’s meant for.
It’s better if no one knows. If they don’t know, they won’t hesitate to send him on the missions no one else could survive. They’ll trust him to do what they can’t. And Tim will keep shouldering that weight, carrying death with him like a shadow, never far from his heels.
Because for Tim, death isn’t an ending. It’s just another step in the fight.
#tim drake#tim drake angst#batfam#metahuman tim drake#immortal tim drake#tim drake can't stay dead#i have the idea that bruce and dick would try and keep tim as safe as they can bcs of the guilt of tim dying under their care#tim totally sees jason's death as a tragedy bcs he saw the aftermath of how it affected people#tim sees his own deaths as unimportant because when he dies nothing changes#no lives are missed and no one is mourned like they mourned jason#to him death is just another thing that happens and he comes back from
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sellllllll it's meeeeee. hehehehehehehehehhehe
so for ur writing exercises.... deku + light? please? pretty please?
:3c
heheh heheh hehe niku. this will be the death of me. me writing izuku for the first time 🥲 i will only do this for you </3
contains: established relationship, spoilers for the end of the manga, aged up deku but sometime in between the final outcome (he doesn't get the h*** s*** from bakugo yet), mentions of sex and scars
deku + light
izuku only sleeps with the lights off.
it isn't uncommon; many people you know can't sleep with even just a sliver of light turned on somewhere in the room. but the difference with izuku, you learn, is not that he's unable to stand the light―it's that he refuses to.
you quickly pick up on it the first few times he sleeps over.
he fidgets in bed, pretty badly, actually. the nightlight you sleep with glows a warm yellow, illuminating the side of your face and coating him in its afterglow. you chalk it up to nerves, how he pulls at his sleeves and adjusts his position constantly; he is, after all, one of the most anxious people you know.
and this relationship―it's new. heck, even you feel a little jittery with his arm wrapped around you.
the rhythmic tapping on your hip only increases pace. you don't think he realizes it, so your hand gently reaches for his, intertwining your fingers as you turn around in his arms.
he's close, nearly touching you nose-to-nose; the proximity leaves you fuzzy, a little ticklish, so you giggle, a soft "oops," as the freckles dusting his face almost glisten under the warm light.
"hi," you whisper, meeting his eyes; they stare back at you wide in surprise, "can't sleep?"
he looks almost guilty at your question, as if you’ve caught him with the one thing he's been trying to keep from you.
"just—" his voice comes out louder than intended, prompting him to chuckle nervously as he readjusts his volume, "just winding down, sorry."
you inch closer, nuzzling his nose lightly, "it's okay."
"did i wake you?" he asks, cheeks flushing pink as his eyebrows furrow in immediate concern. his expression is something caught between stifling a grin and feeling sorry.
you shake your head against the pillow you share, strands of your hair tangling with his. "just winding down," you tease, watching as his gaze turns softer, eyelids drooping heavier.
sometimes, you think, izuku holds the world in his eyes―a deep, dark green, the color of life. most times, they look at you with wonderment, bright and alive; photos from inko tell you they're the eyes of his inner child.
on nights like this one, however, they hide a depth in them weighted by what you can only assume is time, and all that has happened to him in such a short span of it.
you try your best to understand what lies beneath them, knowing full well he'll never tell you outright what truly bothers him.
"is it the light?" you bring up, some time after laying in silence.
"hm?" he clarifies.
"do you have a hard time sleeping with the nightlight?"
his eyes widen briefly once more, as if shocked that you've caught him again. these split second reactions are ones you've learned to be attentive to when it comes to izuku.
"no," he tries to lie, but you know better as you turn to your nightstand and reach for its switch, "you don't–"
"it was hurting my eyes," you quickly make up an excuse, tucking yourself closer under his chin as you cut off his attempt to deny it again.
finding out that the light was the problem was the easy part—
you'd begun to notice much earlier on that izuku was barely rested on the nights he'd spend at your place. it was only when your old nightlight broke that you began to notice him waking up much later than you did, groggily rousing from a deep sleep.
—what was hard, was figuring out why.
at first, you suspected it was his scars.
"s-sorry, it's not—" he'd warned you, right as your hands gripped the hem of his shirt the first time you were about to have sex, "—it's not nice."
you didn't care though; you still don't care, and you've made that abundantly clear to him since. you love izuku and all his parts―all the nicks and jaggedy pieces of skin that make up who he is.
when you eventually ask him about it, with a request that he be honest with you for once, he tells you that it is and it isn't―the reason why he exclusively sleeps with the lights off, that is.
it's an odd, comforting relationship he has with his body—that he is simultaneously grateful and sorry for how its become a canvas, both painted and marred to symbolize japan’s historic last stand.
you find out the real reason when you catch him staring at his hands.
he does it often, when he thinks you aren't looking—his fists bunched up in the same way he used to watch the power of one for all course through his fingertips; the same way he used to prepare them in battle.
there’s a faraway look in his eyes that lingers, you notice—a little wistful if anything.
“do you miss it?” you finally ask. he gives you the same shocked look he does every time, as if he’s been caught with a secret he’s been trying to hide.
he’s learned a fair bit about you now, too, though—lying to you is futile when you’ve perfected reading his truth. he stares at his fists again as you take a seat beside him, moving to give you space. you rest your head on his shoulder gently, waiting.
“sometimes,” he admits, but you know it’s an understatement.
“i think about the vestiges a lot. i miss them the most, i think,” he continues, clenching his fists tightly, “i always try to reach out to them, but i guess it doesn’t work that way.”
“i… i try to replicate the right conditions every night, but…” then he lets go, stretching his fingers out wide. the scars on the surface ripple through his skin, telling its own story.
you hum, acknowledging what he means. silence sits with the two of you as you take his hand in yours, slowly unfurling his fingers until his palm reveals itself to you. it’s rough to the touch, seasoned with hard work and all that he’s been through.
“is that why you prefer the dark?” you ask softly, after some time.
it's not often that you stay up later than izuku does. when you do though, you catch him shifting in bed, moving from side-to-side. you pretend you aren't awake, but you hear him mumble their names, dwindling in volume as he dozes off to sleep.
he stares at his palm for a moment before he admits quietly, "yeah." his brows furrow as if contemplating whether to say more, but he shakes his head, dark green strands swaying to the beat of his embarrassed chuckle, "nevermind, it's silly."
"it's not."
you intertwine your fingers, sandwiching his hand between yours. a slight sheen glosses over his eyes as he tilts his head up to look at you. he draws in a breath, before it spills over.
"it's..." he finds the words, and you squeeze his hand in comfort, "it's easier to believe it was all real when the lights are out, and that maybe it can happen again."
#deku x reader#izuku x reader#midoriya x reader#bnha x reader#shotorus.workbook#it is here ! the first time ive ever written izuku ! i hope u like it niku !#idt i'll ever feel like anything i write of him will be enough but i tried !#SPOILERS FOR MANGA ENDING PLS DONT READ AHEAD#some stuff abt the blurb: i see this happening in the time between him losing ofa and before getting the suit from bakugo#so somewhere between when hes teaching#and i think its a lot of complex feelings ― he's happy he did what he had to do but is also mourning the loss of something he once had#i don't think i can ever convey that feeling fully but i hope i at least managed to touch on it here with him !#i see this as like . the period in his life where he's transitioning out of something he once knew into smth else entirely#i also hc reader to be his colleague (like a teacher or smth) but anyone closely related to the job would work !#really just someone who has a base level understanding of what he went through but doesnt know everything#which is why they're still trying to learn all these things abt him and read him better#and also why he tries to hide a lot of things from them still / is hesitant to share in fear of scaring them away smth like that !#thats all i can think of for now but ill let u know if i have other thoughts on this later on ! hehe#hope u enjoy niku !#ask#rep#ask game answered#most nervewracking experience of my LIFE writing him#stellamancer#niku.🥩
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people who undermine the importance of izuku and katsuki's relationship throughout bnha because of "annoying shippers" or because they just don't like katsuki are insane because their relationship is literally so? important??? to the entire story???? katsuki is the deuteragonist of bnha. he was one of the first characters to show up. he was the first other person to know about OFA. so much of the manga is spent showing his development. if you deny his character development and relationship development ("relationship" does not always mean romantic relationship) with izuku, you are quite literally denying a massive part of the series. the manga starts with them and ends with them. you're allowed to dislike him but if you dislike him so much that you, in turn, start hating how izuku is a "punching bag" or a "doormat" for the entire series because he doesn't stay angry and vengeful at people even though a massive part of his character is that he's compassionate and kind even to people who aren't to him or used to not be, and you seriously think that that makes him weak, and you just start to dislike the main two characters of the series, i think you should. idk. stop reading, probably. read the revenge fantasy shit that you obviously want to read. there are like seven million manhwa available to you where the character gets the revenge you so desperately want to see.
#someone on twitter kinda pissed me off#bnha#mha#bkdk#bakudeku#katsuki bakugou#bakugou katsuki#izuku midoriya#midoriya izuku#i hope this post is understandable bc i am so tired rn#also can i just mention how these people so obviously project onto izuku#how much does katsuki have to atone for you guys#i'm not saying what he did WASN'T fucked up but at what point do you guys think he “earns” forgiveness?#apparently he didn't earn it when he: apologized. took a hit for izuku. died because he became the closest person to him.#felt guilty over his actions. cried because he felt guilty and wanted them to compete forever.#spent 8 years funding a fancy expensive suit that could allow izuku to have his greatest dream back.#like i genuinely don't understand what else he could possibly do#he experiences misfortune for being the way that he is (even if not directly reprimanded for it often) and he learns and grows from it#and if you say “he could've permanently died” izuku would have Fucking Hated that actually.#the main character you project so hard onto would have hated it and cried his eyes out and mourned for his childhood friend-slash-bully#proof? see his reaction when he literally saw katsuki lying dead on the ground. he started hyperventilating.#izuku midoriya is NOT A SELF INSERT CHARACTER.
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OOOOOO CAN I ASK HOW WOULD THE N2 SQUAD REACT TO EACH OF THEM DYING?
What have you unleashed?
(WARNING: Angst, allusions to death, all that fun stuff. Nothing graphic tho, don't worry)
Jamil
He shouldn’t be surprised.
Well… He isn't surprised. Jamil Viper doesn't get nice things. Not for more than a few months, anyway.
Every once in a while, life takes pity on him and throws some nice, agreeable news his way. Just enough so that he lets his guard down. Just enough so that he allows himself to think maybe things will get better. Just enough so that he can pretend he isn't chained to a fate he will never escape.
A letter to NRC, a plan that goes a little too well, a couple of upperclassmen who seem to genuinely love him for who he is and not who he pretends to be.
So of course it doesn't last. Life gives and life takes.
Kalim follows, Octavinelle gets involved, Leona and Vil-
Well…
He isn't surprised.
Jamil Viper doesn't get nice things.
Vil
They look at him like they expect something from him. Horror, anger, ugly tears maybe. Just a reaction. Anything. Anything at all.
Vil doesn't give them that. Doesn't give them an opportunity to pity him. Doesn't give them food for gossip. Doesn't give them any material to make this topic last for any longer than it has to.
He knows how it works. Someone snaps a pic of him at his lowest, someone records his voice breaking during an interview, someone catches his lips tremble for but a second, and everybody will start talking about it again. And again. And again. For as long as there is a reaction from him. For as long as the topic attracts views.
Suffering brings more views than success.
So Vil doesn't react. Doesn't say a thing. Doesn't acknowledge the topic.
Better to be a cold asshole for a few weeks than to hear about it for years.
And in the darkness of his own room, where there is no camera, no eyes, and no ears to witness his grief-
Vil cries himself to sleep.
Leona
It’s just sand.
Only sand.
For miles and miles, further than the eye can see, nothing but sand.
Ruggie had the clever foresight to send all of Savanaclaw packing when Leona got the news. They would be sand too otherwise.
Who cares.
Who fucking cares.
He could turn the whole world to sand and it wouldn't be enough.
He might as well turn his own heart into sand.
It would hurt less.
#are you a masochist Anon?#or do you want others to suffer lol?#those are short but I think they convey enough#I have a lot of thoughts for Vil's reaction tho#like I imagine Jamil would be defeated and lose all warmth#and I imagine Leona would either go full depression or destructive anger#but VIL-#can you imagine how shitty it must be to have everybody's gaze on you when you're trying to mourn?#how that'd be the only topic you would find online about yourself for weeks?#we all know Vil is obsessed with how he's perceived by others and he'd definitely check his own name just as much as Neige's popularity#so Vil looks up his name and sees those fucking news again and again and again#and it just opens his wounds again and again and again#and his only way out is to pretend he doesn't care#and so he keeps everything to himself#uses his acting talent to pretend he isn't as affected as he is#and only when he is alone does he let himself break down#anyway those all would be long enough into dating that they are serious about each other and that it'd be known that Vil is dating#but not long enough for them to have made their own life with this relationship#just a tease from life#because Jamil is a tragedy and a half and I had to play with that :3#twisted wonderland#n2 squad#leojami#leovil#javil#ask me anything#jamil viper#leona kingscholar#vil schoenheit#twst fic
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this is very in-text but i love that zoro gets attuned to kiku from the get-go not only because of this sword wielder code that he's followed through all extremes of the practice, from brook to kin'emon -- recognizing and respecting all masters -- but because her existence is the solid evidence, the living proof that kuina was wrong
#zokiku#in the sense that if he squints long enough and whips his head to a certain angle super fast for a fraction of a second he can see his best#friend towering over him and being the most badass samurai ever#also zoro has only seen kuina in 3 other ppl but that's a post for another day#i'm at onigashima and like he's never cared about someone that isn't a strawhat this much since johnny and yozaku#who mind you are his FRIENDS meaning zoro sees her as a friend an equal and a force to be reckoned with#op log#zoro#roronoa zoro#how could i forget to add him to the tags when most of my watching experience is prodding into that seaweed head of his w some tweezers#last but not least#op okiku#okiku#i adore her#something something gender is a performance and kiku wears both the armor and the kimono#last 2 cents on this i swear and hopefully i'm not transgressing into spoiler territory too much but when kiku is in danger like big i need#help danger he uses wado and wado only to come by her side#which could mean nothing#but it's still a beautiful way to tie it all back to kuina and his mourning process
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bee's protective nature over anyone persists even as a ghost & i think he sometimes forgets or doesn't care that only star can see him (sadly no touch tho) & will start shouting & angrily try standing between people who are mad at starscream even tho he can't be seen, he just wants to try & help anyways bcs STOP IT >:(!! BE NICE !!!! cried the ghost no one can hear or see except for the poor guy getting yelled at & trying to overhear the conversation over bee's frantic rebuttals while trying to discreetly let bee know it's ok while ALSO trying not to look Insane .
continued attempt at a 4am drawn doodle comic below
i might draw detailed later but yeah i just wanted to give yall this headcanon bcs i love starbee so much... the nagging wives finally finding their true loves... another nagging wife.
' you .. do know only i can hear and see you, unfortunately, right? or are you starting to go loopy, because i don't need another insane figure haunting me. I have enough already, as you can try and fail to imagine, little bee . '
' trust me, im Well aware .. of everything you just said . .. but i just. i couldn't just Stand there and do Nothing while someone talked to you like You were Nothing . that's not the autobot way. that's not- my way . '
' . . . '
#starbee#transformers#maccadam#tf idw#transformers idw#bumblebee#starscream#bee posting paragraphs of opinions no one cares abt to his new twitter after his old one got sniped#for telling megatron to offline himself#except no one gets notifs when he follows them except for starscream for some reason so#starscream is bee's only follower but bee keeps posting paragraphs abt anything anyways#' atp just dm me bee.' ' OPTIMUS. CaN YOU BELiEVE HE SAID THIS TO ME????? I CANNOT BE- ' optimus has never touched twitter in his life#jazz made and controls his twitter for him but no one knows bcs jazz uses it to roleplay as optimus and mourns bee being dead#bee keeps commenting hes not dead but jazzOptimus never gets the notification & hes rlly popular so rip bee#i love starbee bcs starbee is when theyre both cringe but free#when the foils meet and have fun the world burns but i am at peace bcs i love them so fking much#anyways um hiii if u guys see this and wanna be moots hiiiiii id love to be moots pls just comment hi or smthing#i need tf friends sobad#sorry for drawing bee like hes princess peach but im not bcs he is indeed my princess#he is my beautiful princess disorder#starscream social distancing from ppl & making ppl think hes an even bigger awkward jerk (he is) but rlly it's to give bee#space to stand between the conversators with his hands on his hips to exchange glares between the two#or just so starscream can see his opinions on the guy hes talking to better#'i think' 😾 that's a'😾 ' it's a gorgeous' 😾 i dont Like that Guy starscre'PLAN'#( um.. why are you shouting..) ' ...... NO.REASON. ' bee in a corner whistling somewhere#starscream grinding his fucking teeth#hes so fking annoyed at his ego being hampered by this hauntful creature but also it's so worth it to see bee be brought out of that#smiley ' lets go autobots!! yes sir optimus sir! ' shell he always puts on for everyone else so it brings starscream away from his#egotistical shell as well and they just both encourage growth from each other by being silly and cute and WAGHH TOGETHER#WAGHHH WAGHHH I LOVE STARBEE WRAGHHH!!!!!!!
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a lot of people are using nex as a queer talking point without even mentioning they were choctaw and 2S. without even mentioning that this - harassment, assault, murder, disappearances, lies/indifference/denial about the circumstances of our death - is typical of the violence we face. not once have i seen non-native people address that we, as natives, face this same treatment within queer communities. that queer institutions use our land while declining to offer native-inclusive and -sensitive care. we suffer at the hands of white lgbt+ people just as much as we do at the hands of people outside the community.
nex is not your NB pariah. nex was a 2S, NB, choctaw child. thousands of native people go missing and are killed and no one cares. many are two-spirit. many are LGBTQIA+. many are "queer" in ways only defined and recognised by our closed cultures, that you may never hear of and may never understand.
if you are going to flock to nex, you are not going to take them from us post-mortem. they were choctaw. they were native. their tribal affiliation has already been falsely reported on. if you are talking about nex, you will talk about how unwelcoming and dangerous your communities are for us, too. you will talk about how natives face this violence constantly, everywhere. you will not remove nex from the context of them being choctaw, ever - or you won't say their name at all.
even when we die, you don't care about us. i am telling you to care about us if you want us to stop dying.
#howling#nex benedict#yeah no i'm tired of seeing edit: and they were 2s!!1!!#no. first and foremost they were a native child. can you people stop fucking stealing our children.#some other notes if you see my tags: allegedly nex preferred he/him. i will prioritise using he/him. sources seem credible.#secondarily: if you aren't Black do not say ''rest in power'' for non-Black people. i do not know choctaw mourning traditions and language#(i'm algonquain and aleut) and won't tell you what To say. but please do not use ''rest in power'' when inappropriate.#thirdly: if you don't know how to talk about us Don't Talk About Us. QUOTE us. share OUR words.#may your spirit walk freely nex. may you be at peace. may flowers grow in your footprints and birds fly on the wind of your breath.#may your ancestors open their arms to you and embrace you in love. we will never forget you. i'm sorry we failed you.#we will do better next time.
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look i know the violence we saw from mine in y3 was largely caused by him losing daigo but i think it's way way funnier to imagine him doing regular tojo stuff with his beloved chairman and also being just an unfathomable and kind of unstable person only moments away from doing something drastic. like one good morning from rokudaime = one reset to mine's orphan-bulldozing doomsday clock
#see we know mine just does really extreme things sometimes (buying those taxi companies in rggo for their customer info to track daigo down)#(joining the yakuza to find a boy he can befriend) (etc) even when he's not in a mournful spiral#so while it's a little ooc it's not THAT ooc for him to have this hair trigger about stuff#i think it'd just be channeled into helping the tojo and extravagant gestures for daigo. healthier outlets than orphan traumatizing#rgg#ryu ga gotoku#mine yoshitaka#yoshitaka mine#minedai#i mean. yeah#yakuza 3#yakuza#like a dragon#nyarla dni#I CANT STOP MINE BULLDOZER POSTING ITS SO FUCKINGFUNNY
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ougghhh everyone’s talking so fondly about lionpaw and his new friendships made by the ripwater event but all i can think about is his mention of ashfur’s comment. and how lion probably thinks it’s just a little joke but ash might actually mean it :(
There's this little pearl of a theme hidden in the Ripwater Episode, if you look carefully; abuse acts on people in insidious but subtle ways.
It's Mistystar who's defensive of asking for help or admitting a problem, thinking of what she did to Leopardstar and also repeating cultural sentiment that once victimized her herself.
It's Squirrelflight shouting at her daughter for acting like she used to, because she's spent some years being yelled at in a similar way
It's Hollypaw who isn't allowed to enjoy her achievement of saving Otterpaw's life or lean into how much she has in common with Lakepaw, because she's ashamed of how she did something "wrong" by snooping
And lastly, it's Lionpaw, who's starting to believe the vicious comments that Ashfur says about him. I referenced Willowpelt partially for the sweet little irony of him teaching her recipe to her unknown grandson, Ripplepaw, but ALSO because Ashfur is starting to isolate him.
Willowpelt is the Head of Hunting, currently, a position that Lionblaze is going to succeed her in. I don't think Ashfur is playing 4D chess quite yet, but there's a couple of little motivations knocking around in Ashfur's heart for why he's nasty whenever Lionpaw interacts with her;
Ashfur hates Willowpelt, because of the events from Ferncloud's Parting. He isn't aggressive to her directly, but he does spread rumors and slander whenever possible, happy to remind others of her exile.
Lionpaw getting close to Willowpelt will annoy him. Ashfur both hates and resents his apprentice, but also feels POSSESSIVE of him. He feels like Willowpelt will "steal" what's his.
A simple but hard truth; Ashfur wants Lionpaw to hurt. Maybe Ashfur sees it in his head like "telling the hard truth" or "toughening his apprentice up," but when he makes those malicious little comments, makes him recoil with hurt, it feels righteous.
Maybe in the next draft, it should actually be Ashfur, not Blackclaw, who comes to growl at Lionpaw for bonding with Lakepaw over the spears. Maybe have Willowpelt come in to show them how to properly use one and that's actually what set Ash off. Like he just used xenophobia because it was convenient in that moment.
#Also I have been waffling on where BB!Willowpelt dies#But I've realized I need her around for a good part of Po3#She has a really juicy history now and the dynamics are playing out too well to just pass over. She's too useful to be fodder.#And since I want her around for early Po3 it makes the most sense for her to hang on just long enough to eventually be succeeded by Lion#And if she dies sometime in BB!OotS it's REALLY convenient to fill the 6-month timeskip between Cruel Season and The Beaver Mission with it#Like Lion and Jay threw themselves into work to stay busy while mourning their sister#Plus she can purr and say she's excited that Lion is her grandson-in-law now when he gets with Cinder#See what I mean? It just works out too well if she hangs on a bit longer.#ANYWAY yeah good on you for catching that tiny nugget. There is a LOT behind that little statement#BB!PO3#better bones au#Emotional Abuse#Child abuse#BB!Lionblaze#BB!Willowpelt#BB!Ashfur
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@vulpixisananimal sifstem art jumpscare!! more specifically i got bored and decided to mess around with sif and mal's outfits.
#my art#this is how I think theyd present themselves either in person or in headspace. the slouchers <3#sifs outfit is simple; the boots i always give them (but with star laces for funsies); loose sweater; simple pants#the pants are Meant to be jeans but isat doesnt Specifically Have Jeans so. theyre just Pants.#the sweater is slightly looser bc sif doesnt seem like a Form Fitting Clothes kinda guy to me but hes Trying to be more open#on particularly good days theyll roll the sleeves up or wear a sleeveless one methinks#even if everyone Knows abt the self-harm scars its hard to Look at them.#i also associate them being more open with them not wearing an eyepatch. esp bc hes the only one of the three to go without it#for mal (or 'ami' as i like to call it) i wanted smth reminiscent of a mourning outfit bc mal du pays means homesickness#and i picked 'ami' as a nickname bc ami means friend :] at least according to my basic translator. i dont speak french <3#ami's outfit being dark is also reminiscent of the inversion thing its got going on in canon.#ik the veil is starred in the original but i think ami would want the fewest reminders of home. on account of The Issues#(actually if i can come back to sifs laces sif also has issues with reminders of it bc of the memory loss but the shoelaces are His Choice—#—which gives them a form of control over it and they can keep it subtle or undo it if he wants. which makes it easier)#anyway. i put amis hair in an updo and smoothed the hat bc i think ami wants to be Unremarkable. Unknown. so it keeps its silhouette Simple#(it still keeps the pins. theres smth comforting abt them. they shine like stars and theyre not stars and theyre not Home. but theyre You.)#and i kept the long hair i gave loop. dont ask me why its so long when the canon hair is short. maybe their hair kept growing over the loop#OH and i drew ami in a side profile bc Silhouette and also bc i think itd make an effort to keep people away from its blind spot#andddd i think thats about it? plus i actually managed to keep this one within a reasonable timeframe.#if their hair changes lengths/the proportions change between drawings. no they dont 💛 peace and love and body craft#OH AND YOU FINALLY GET TO SEE WHAT I MEAN ABT SIFS BOOTS BC THESE ARE THE BOOTS I GAVE THEM ON MY REGULAR DESIGN ARENT THEY NEAT#i did actually try to give sif a different font but nothing Works for them like the pixel font. i cant explain it.#i think 'ami' would be a nickname that mira gives it. bc. shes Fantasy French. and its a sort of 'youre more than your yearning/loss' thing#me every time i think abt sifstem: yeah they just rotate in my head. nothing major#me every time i talk abt sifstem: oh hey im almost at tag limit again#au Good what can i say
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thinkin about all the ways that xenk and edgin parallel/complement each other
like. theyve both suffered terrible loss. edgin's is what drove him away from the harpers and 'doing the right thing'. xenk's is what drove him towards that very thing. edgin found a family despite his loss. every time we see xenk, he is doing his work alone. edgin and his family defeated the same evil that tore xenk from his. xenk brings to justice the man who nearly tore edgin's family apart. they are different sides of the same coin do you see
#and they love each other <3#xedgin#u dont actually have to read this as ship but u see *I* am and it's my post so#xenk yendar#edgin darvis#dd:hat#the cryptid speaks#i just think they're neat dot meme#ESPECIALLY when u get into the fanon side of their dynamics#like there's so much u can do with them#xenk's found ways to healthily live with his grief? he can help edgin do the same#xenk's using his oath as a paladin as a distraction from that grief and is still mourning much like edgin? they can help each other#xenk is actually lonely as hell and maybe kinda needs to let himself have a new family? well edgin's crew likes him dont they#edgin's got some Complexes about if he could really be considered a 'good guy' after everything? xenk believes in him#i can go on but u get the gist#like again this doesnt even have to be ship just . they are similar u understand . they are good for each other
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“white mourning.”
#‘‘A white mourning. A modern death. Divorce or something similar. All you can do is put more distance between you & him. make him smaller.’’#jean is a very easy character to hate if you know nothing about him. & you know what they say. easy target doesn’t make for a good practice#judit literally compares harry to intellectually disabled man yet you don’t see ppl hating her because she is outwardly nice.#she’s polite yes but she doesn’t care as much as jean cares for harry#he is not perfect. he is mean. but loyal. if he truly didn't care he wouldn't hab come back to martinaise & coulda just reported harry’s as#he put up with du bois’ bullshit for years and built a toxic (totally straight) relationship with him yet always comes back.#he says he will leave you in the village to die but please understand harry isn't exactly a great person. especially pre-bender hdb.#planned a make up joke & put on a wig for hdb even tho he wasn’t the who started the whole fiasco#you can hate him all you want for leaving harry before & during tribunal but how could he have foreseen all this bullshit would have happen#his second leaving is kinda bullshit writing but#jv is dealing with his own demons too. clinical depression. partner almost died. job is shit. case spiraling out control#i do not blame the DE staff either. sometimes shit just happens. not everything needs a grand explanation.#but it definitely coulda been handled better. but i understand. resources were sparse.#i relate to jv. as someone with temper issues & attention problems i have to remove myself from the scene or i'll say shit i'd regret late#my man is having the worst week of his life. leave him alone.#kim is great but have u heard of a man who thinks he's old when he is only 30 & luvs horses & his commie boyfriend that he's divorcin' soon#disco elysium#de fanart#jean vicquemare#disco elysium fanart#jean heron vicquemare#jean posting#illustration#de#artists on tumblr#I WANTED TO DRAW THIS FOR MONTHSSS YOU COULDN'T IMAGINE. HE LITERALLY HAUNTED ME IN MY SLEEP!!!#i love him normal amount. very healthy. much feelings#my little maiu maiu#cryptiduni#my art
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page 1 of my ivy comic ✿
<characters next page>
(prints)
#decided to post the individual pages here too since i realized i can do both this and post the full comic in a new post when it's done#i'm putting a lot of effort into every individual page so they all deserve their own post!#the plant meanings for this page are weeping willow (mourning) and lily of the valley (return to happiness)#please look forward to ivy and willow's story i promise it's a happy ending this time#willow wasn't going to jump or anything like that here but ivy doesn't know that so she was worried to see a person at the cliff anyway#ivy comic mimimar#taylor swift#ivy comic#wlw#sapphic#lesbian#wlw art#sapphic art#lesbian art#artists on tumblr#ivy#willow#oc
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Ended up pirating all of Hazbin for the sake of my younger days (used to be a fan when I was around 14/15, before all the stuff with Viv came out) and I am so surprised by how I felt... nothing for the most part. Like a lot of the show's storylines feel like they was crammed in there with no real pacing. A lot of this should have been season 2 territory, which is a sentiment I've seen echoed around, but also... it feels as if the show is trying to be episodic while also having a long narrative thread, which just doesn't work with just 8 episodes. Especially not when paced like this. So I kinda ended up feeling nothing for the most part. All the events got a "Oh, great, so what?" reaction out of me because there was little to no buildup to most of them.
Sir Pentious was always a fave of mine so I was glad to see they kept him around and, though I think we should have had more episodes with him as a villain, I think how he ended up was fitting for what little of an arc he had. I am livid about what they did to Cherri and Mimzy.
I fucking loved Mimzy, I have no idea why they sent her away -- having someone like her at the Hotel would have been a blast considering how the others are already on the road to redemption. She would have balanced it out by being a regular sinner, someone who doesn't care about redemption and won't probably ever care unless it's in her best interests to. Plus her friendship with Alastor was quite cute, they bounce off of each other very well imo. Plus I could see her have a bit of a conflict with both Charlie and Vaggie because of her ways of acting. I'm so sorry they took that from you girlboss.
And Cherri... dear lord where WAS she? She should have been a lot more present. I used to like her relationship with Angel and I even think Cherrisnake is cute conceptually, but both these relationship had... little to no room to breathe imo.
#hazbin hotel critical#not putting this in the main tag#i wouldnt call myself a fan but i guess i can mourn what could have been#not considering viv and her controversities for a second... the pilot had a very nice feeling to it#that the series was not able to replicate#i think my liking of mimzy should come as a surprise to NO ONE LMAOOOO#i love evil selfish women im sorry ... sue me#we need to save mimzy sir pen and cherribomb from hazbin everyone else can rot#ok in all fairness i will give the show credit for ONE thing#i kind of enjoyed adam and lute as antagonists. adam is insufferable which is awesome#it makes it easy to hate him as a villain. and lute being his right hand woman makes sense#they read like a christian couple (term used loosely) where the man is a misogynistic asshole and the woman just kinda endorses it#which is perfect if you wanna make a critique of heaven and the humans who go in it because they repented or whatever#i always love dumbass villains who are easy to hate (mamoon from helluva being another example of a villain i enjoy)#thats it. thats all i have in terms of compliments#would love to adress the Angel Dust controversy because as a victim of SA (and CSA) myself I think there is nuance to be found in --#-- having a discussion about how we see survivors and how we portray the abuse they endure#i was an unconventional victim too. i kind of see a glimpse of me in Angel which is why I was LIVID when I got the full picture of the --#-- situation. but still
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