#that loves the earth more than anything else

[leahwllmsn]

toxic till the end

alexia putellas x reader

word count: 3.3k

tw: toxic relationships

You and Alexia are bad news for each other, but you don’t want anyone else.

It’s another day after yet another fight. You already know what’s going to happen next—it’s a routine so ingrained in your life that there’s no room for uncertainty. Alexia will show up at your door, begging for forgiveness, and you will welcome her with open arms. 

This time though, you tell yourself it’s going to be different. You’re going to put a stop to this whole thing.

You’re letting go of Alexia for good.

It’s been years of back and forth and you’re tired. 

You’re on your couch, clutching your phone, battling with yourself about being the first one to text. To break the routine you and Alexia have perfected means breaking this cycle once and for all.

I meant what I said last night. it’s over. we’re done.

Alexia’s response comes not a minute later. How fast she responds gives you more satisfaction than you admit. Her response however… It left an uncomfortable feeling in your chest.

A: if that is what you want

No, that’s not what you want at all. But it’s what you need. For your sanity.

I want you out of my life. goodbye, ale

—

You met Alexia through a mutual friend. You liked to go out to clubs and bars, something to get your mind off the stress at work. It was a wonder that you hadn’t met Alexia sooner, but you later realized it must be her job as a football superstar that prevented her from partying every week like you.

When Alexia came up to you, her chin held high, a smirk permanently etched on her face, you knew she was nothing but trouble. It was the way she presented herself, so full of herself—as if she could get anything she wanted, that got you hooked. You loved a confident woman, and Alexia was the most confident woman on earth.

“Hola.” Alexia was the first to greet you, observing you with a curious look. You took her outstretched hand, and you couldn’t help but appreciate how… strong her grip was. Yeah. 

“Hi.”

“I’m Alexia,” she gave you a smile, one that girls must fawn over. Before you could respond, she continued, “And you must be… the prettiest girl in this room.”

Your immediate response was to roll your eyes, but your heart was a mess. You couldn’t believe that something so corny had your cheeks blush a deep shade of red.

“Got anything better than that?” you replied calmly, taking a sip of your drink to hide the way your lips wanted to form a smile.

Alexia hummed in thought, leaning closer to you until her mouth was inches away from your ear. You could smell her perfume now—it was something from Le Labo, the woody one that people liked so much.

“If I could rearrange the alphabet, I’d put ‘u’ and ‘i’ together.”

It was so bad that it genuinely worked on you. You let out a laugh so loud, ten pairs of eyes turned in your direction. But you didn’t care because Alexia was looking at you with that glimmer in her eyes.

You couldn’t have known what was to come.

—

Despite your wariness about Alexia, you gave her a chance. You gave her multiple chances.

A few months in and you were inseparable. 

The most shocking thing about Alexia was that she was the most loyal person ever. You thought that she was, well, a playgirl. It was the stereotype that came with being a footballer and how charming she was—she could get anyone she wanted.

But all she wanted was you.

It was a huge boost to your ego, you must admit.

Maybe that was why you decided to test the waters. To see whether Alexia really loved you or she was just playing you.

(Looking back, you realized you were the one who started this whole game.)

You didn’t watch football, you had zero interest in it. Alexia loved that she got to be the one to introduce football to you.

So when you begged Alexia to let you meet her teammates, claiming you found a new interest on the team, she was surprised. 

The first thing you did in that locker room was introduce yourself to Patri. Sexy, funny, tattooed Patri, who flirted back the moment you bat your eyelashes at her. To you, it was exhilarating the way Alexia grabbed your wrist and pushed you to the nearest storage closet.

Maybe that was why you loved to push her buttons so much. 

But that wasn’t to say that Alexia didn’t do the same. She was so much more intense, you learned. Maybe even borderline toxic, but you didn’t think too much about it.

You hadn’t been partying every week like you usually would, spending each night with Alexia instead, living in that lovesick bubble. But one night you were bored, and you wanted to go. Alexia had a game tomorrow so you knew she would be staying at home.

“Where are you going, amor?”

You saw Alexia’s reflection in the mirror as you were putting on the final touches of your make-up. You were wearing a dress so tight that it left no room for imagination. “I’m going to Manuelas, baby.”

“What? No, you are not.” Alexia stated. 

You turned around and gave her a questioning look. “I am? Can’t you see that I’m ready?”

“Well, I do not want you to go,” Alexia crossed her arms over her chest, a frown on her face. “Especially with that dress.”

You rolled your eyes at her, scoffing. “I think I can do whatever I want, Ale. I’m going out.”

“So you are just going to leave me here alone? I need you tonight, amor.”

The way her tone changed almost gave you whiplash. She was no longer commanding; she was pleading, her voice trembled as if you leaving to a club would be the worst thing to ever happen to her.

“Please, cariño?” 

You knew the moment she gave you her best puppy-dog eyes, your resolve was crumbling. You’d agree to whatever she wanted, just like always.

“You can come with me,” you suggested, although you knew she couldn’t.

“You know I have a game tomorrow.” Alexia stepped closer to you, wrapping her arms around your waist and pressing gentle kisses along your exposed neck. “Let’s have a night in. I’m going to give you a better night than your friends could anyway, you know that.”

So you stayed.

You didn’t care when it happened again the week after, letting Alexia undress you was much better than any nightclubs anyway.

When your friends complained that they hadn’t seen you in so long, you made an effort to meet up with them for lunch, but that was cut short when Alexia called and demanded you to come home because she was done with training.

Alexia was possessive, you knew that. You didn’t need your friends to hold an ‘intervention’ for you because they thought Alexia was getting too much.

You loved her possessive attitude. So much so that you intentionally flirted with waitresses and strangers just to see her jealous streak.

You didn’t think anything could break your relationship. You loved each other.

One day, Alexia went too far and you got proven wrong.

You were tired from work, and you wanted nothing more than to get under the covers and sleep. Alexia had other plans. She was wearing a suit, her hair slicked back in a neat ponytail. She looked good. 

“Where are you going, Ale?”

“Oh, hey, mi amor,” Alexia pressed a gentle kiss to your lips, pulling back when you wanted more. Alexia always made you feel better. “I’m going to be late. I have dinner with old friends.”

You raised an eyebrow at that. Alexia never mentioned any dinner with old friends. “Who?”

“Just… some friends I haven’t met in a long time.” You let her go without any more questions because you were seconds away from falling asleep.

When you woke up and found Alexia asleep on the couch instead, you thought nothing of it, going through with your morning routine. When Alexia stretched lazily, flashing you a smile, you returned it without a second thought. But then you caught the lipstick stain on her white collar, a lipstick shade that you would never wear… That was when you started screaming at her.

“I can’t believe you!” “What did I do?”

“What did you do?” You pointed towards the red stain on her collar. “Do you think I’m blind? Stupid? Both?!”

“Oh no no, amor,” Alexia immediately stood up, hands raised defensively as she faced you. “This is not what it looks like. You are misunderstanding!”

“You’re crazy, Alexia. Who’s fucking lipstick is that?!”

“No one’s! You are being paranoid.”

“Stop lying to me!”

“Amor, I would never lie to you, you know that,” Alexia huffed. She had the nerve to shake her in disappointment. “In fact, I am insulted that you think I would do such a thing!”

“Oh yeah? How’s this!” You unclasped the necklace Alexia got you as a gift and threw it at her face. “Fuck you!”

“Amor! That hurts!”

“Fucking cheater!”

“I didn’t kiss her! She kissed me!”

The amount of anger coursing through your veins was a new feeling. You let out a shout before stomping your way out of the apartment. You looked back at your girlfriend, still with that stupid, glaring red stain on her shirt. “I never want to see your face again, Alexia!”

You slammed the front door and left.

That was the start of the cycle.

—

Alexia showed up at your apartment the next day, flowers in hand, eyes swollen from when she cried too much—a rare sight for her. You felt your heart soften at the sight.

“Hola,” Alexia rasped out. “Can I come in?”

Against your better judgement you let her in. You allowed her to explain her side of things, how she claimed that yes, her ex kissed her, but Alexia didn’t return the gesture. You didn’t entirely believe her but you pulled her into your arms anyway.

Alexia repeated how sorry she was over and over again, she told you that she loved you, and she would never intentionally hurt you. 

“I know, Ale,” you kissed the top of her head, your voice softer now compared to the shouts yesterday. Alexia was laying on top of you, her head nestled in the crook of your neck—usually you would be the one in Alexia’s arms, this change felt nice too.

“Do you still love me?”

You didn’t hesitate when you replied. “More than anything.”

Alexia promised that there wouldn’t be anymore fights after that. You didn’t really believe her, and you didn’t think she believed herself either, but you agreed nonetheless.

It was true, you and Alexia went back to the honeymoon phase and didn’t fight at all.

The calm lasted for a few weeks. Barcelona won something, you couldn’t remember, but it was huge. So it called for a celebration.

Alexia, being the captain, was busy being the center of attention. She loved it when people worshipped her, you knew that, so you let her be. You were alone at the bar when someone approached you, offering to buy you a drink. It was Jana—you remembered her from before you met Alexia, through mutual friends. She was definitely your type, but she was five years younger than you and that put you off.

“You do know I’m dating your captain,” you spoke directly in her ear, the music making it harder to hear.

“I’m just being friendly,” Jana shrugged, although the glint in her eyes revealed otherwise.

You took the drink she offered and stayed close to her—too close, because the next thing you knew Alexia was in front of you, a dangerous smile on her lips.

“We are going home.”

“It’s early!” you laughed, passing your drink to your girlfriend. “Have some fun, Ale. Don’t be so uptight.”

Jana giggled and Alexia’s frown deepened. You turned towards the younger brunette and grabbed her arms. “Jana and I are going to dance!”

You left Alexia speechless as you made your way to the dance floor. You could feel her eyes on you the whole time, but all you did was something innocent. There was nothing conspicuous about dancing with a friend. You didn’t kiss her like Alexia kissed someone else.

You didn’t even last five minutes, before Alexia dragged you away and forced you into her car.

You pouted at her the whole ride home. “You are being so ridiculous, Alexia. I was just dancing with a friend.”

“No, you were slutting it up with a friend. There is a difference.”

You were so offended by her words that you demanded she pull over and let you out.

“I am not doing that.”

“Pull over.”

“No.”

“Alexia, pull over or I’ll open this car door and step right into oncoming traffic.”

“Estás loca!” Alexia granted your wish and you were met with the cold, night air as you stepped out of her car. “How are you going to get home now?”

You answered her by slamming her precious car door and flipping a middle finger in her direction. Thankfully it wasn’t that far from your place, you could walk for fifteen minutes. It was fine.

You didn’t get much sleep that night, whether it was because of the anger you were feeling or the anticipation of seeing Alexia the next day. But by morning, all you felt was disappointment, because Alexia didn’t show up. You waited and waited, until it was night time and you decided to send her a text.

do you even care about me?

Alexia showed up five minutes later even though her apartment was almost half an hour away. This time, instead of flowers, she brought your favourite chocolates. Ten boxes of them.

“I am sorry, guapa.” You were sitting on Alexia’s lap, your hands playing with the baby hair on the back of her neck. “I was just jealous because I love you so much.”

“I’m sorry too,” you murmured. “I was the one to provoke you.”

Alexia nodded, pecking your lips. “Sí. You provoked me.”

“You don’t have to be jealous, you know,” you assured her. “I’m all yours, Alexia.”

She grinned at you, pulling you even closer until your bodies were flushed against one another. “That’s good to hear, amor. No one can love you like I do.”

—

You stayed with Alexia despite it all. Despite the monthly–if not, weekly–fights, despite the red flags waving at you every time you recalled something Alexia did to your friends.

You didn’t care about any of it as long as you have Alexia.

Your friends stopped trying to meddle. Once, they decided to give Alexia a piece of their minds and that made Alexia ignore you for a few days. So in turn, you gave your friends a piece of your mind and told them to back the fuck off. You were a big girl; you knew what you were getting yourself into.

It went on for years. You and Alexia continued the routine: someone says something they didn’t mean—fight—make up—someone gets jealous—fight again—make up, and so on.

It was incredible how much strength you had in you to put up with it. But you loved Alexia, and she loved you back, so it was worth it.

It wasn’t until a fight got so big that it left you both screaming at each other in an empty park in Barcelona at midnight, and suddenly, you felt so suffocated. For the first time ever, you wondered what would happen if both of you just… stopped this whole thing. You wondered then, if you could survive living without Alexia.

“I do not know what you want me to do, Y/N!”

“Well, for one, I would like you to stop flirting with every girl you see. I’m right here!”

“I was not flirting! You just keep on imagining things!”

“Fuck you, Ale!”

“Sí, you have done that many times,” Alexia shrugged casually, her body language telling you she was unbothered by this whole thing. “We can do it again tonight if you want!”

“Fuck! You!”

You turned to leave, but Alexia grabbed your wrist. “Where are you going?”

You yanked your arm free from her grasp. “I’m leaving! It’s over!”

Alexia let out a mocking laugh. “Over?! I do not think so. Come on, amor, do you really think you can live without me?” 

Alexia was so sure that you couldn’t. You felt like you wanted to prove to her otherwise.

So you held your chin out and held her gaze. “Yes. I can. I’m leaving you.”

Neither of you said anything for a minute. Alexia silently challenged you to take back your words, but you weren’t going to. You decided that you were strong enough to end things.

“You are lying,” Alexia scoffed. “You cannot leave me.”

You glared at her. You hated that she was undermining you. “Watch me.”

As you turned around once again to leave, Alexia suddenly stepped forward and snaked her arms around your waist, her front pressed against your back. You let her hold you—it was going to be the last time anyway.

“Mi amor,” Alexia’s voice trembled. “You cannot leave me. I do not know how to do this without you. Please don’t go. Te amo. Te amo mucho.”

You held back your tears, not expecting Alexia to sound this vulnerable. You placed your hand on top of hers, hesitating for a brief moment before slowly pulling away.

You were finally free.

—

A week passed by without anything from Alexia. Not a phone call, not a text, no flowers on your doorstep, no unannounced visits to your apartment. You realize that this is the longest you’ve gone without hearing Alexia beg for your forgiveness. Alexia is actually respecting your wishes.

She’s no longer bothering you.

You should feel happy, but all you feel is the opposite. You genuinely feel sick at the thought of having Alexia out of your life.

You want her next to you. You want her near you, right now. You don’t care that all you do is fight, that’s what couples do—Alexia once said.

Your friends think it’s a good thing that you cut things off with Alexia, but you don’t think their opinion matters anyway. They’ve always acted like they know your relationship with Alexia better than you.

To get them to back off though, you agreed on a blind date with someone. Just for one night. One night to see what a “perfect girl” looks like.

Her name is Jennifer. What a bland name.

She likes to play tennis and does horse riding. Football is better.

She has a British accent because she grew up in London. Alexia’s accent is much better, way sexier.

An hour in and you could tell that there is nothing wrong with her despite your best efforts at trying to find the worst in everything. But she’s not Alexia.

No one will ever come close.

Before Jennifer gets the chance to order dessert, you fake a stomach ache and leaves.

You walk aimlessly, but deep down you know you have one destination in mind.

It’s been years of back and forth. Yes, you’re tired, but you also crave it.

You crave her.

No matter how much Alexia breaks your heart, you know she’s the only one who can fix it—albeit, not perfectly, she can still patch it up nonetheless.

You don’t mind it. 

If being with Alexia means having a bruised heart full of bandages, you’ll take it.

“Hola, guapa. I missed you.”

[ihaznoclue]

You're not like other people

The winner of the vote from yesterday was----

You're not like other people (Shadow x Reader) and I would like to thank everyone who participated in the voting system :)

Pairings -> Shadow The Hedgehog x Reader

Warnings -> None

Note -> Shadow seems to like you more than anyone else, you treat him better. He then starts to follow you around and stick to you just in case if something happens to you

Genre -> Fluff

Shadow The Hedgehog

You're not like other people...

You showed Shadow more kindness and gentleness, and he could tell you were a good-hearted person the moment he laid eyes on you.

He liked you more than anyone he had met, with the exception of Maria, because of your tender hands and your kind remarks.

He could see Maria within you since your sillyness showed whenever he was feeling low or depressed, and your smile illuminated the room on the darkest evenings.

Your affectionate gestures were different, you gave him soft pats or scratches behind his ears to help him relax, and your dancing made him cringe in the most flattering way possible to provoke a response from him rather that him being sulky all the time.

He adored everything you did for him, and he loved you in return.

Even if he's not very good at it, he merely thinks of all the things he could do to make you feel better, like protecting you or lifting your spirits when you're felling down. At least he's making an effort, or perhaps he's giving you presents in secret.

Ever since he fell down from saving the earth from explosion that Dr Gerald Robotnik wanted as revenge for his grand-daughter Maria, Shadow was convinced that this was the wrong thing to do as it won't bring Maria back..

His goal was to save the planet, and he succeeded, but at what cost? He could feel himself slipping downward more quickly.

When he collapsed back on Earth, he was unconscious, but where was he? He could smell the earthy dirt that tickled his nostrils, all he could feel beneath him was dirt.

However, he heard and sensed something else. A voice? Where was he and whose voice was that?

"Where did you come from?" The stranger's voice sounded clearer, and he could hear its kindness since it was free of fear, stuttering, or trembling.

Then he felt a kind, cautious hand embrace him in. "Oh you poor thing.. You must be hurt" He heard the voice again, and then he sensed a person moving.

What was he being taken to? He doesn't want to return, but what if they were to take him back?

Their footsteps were silent, and he could hear the rhythm of the person carrying him's heartbeat, whether it was fast or slow. He found that listening to the heartbeat helped him relax.

As they kept going, he could then hear them humming, which is incredibly pleasant and reassured him that nothing was to bother him.

Shadow heard the humming fade into the darkness as he knows couldn't hear anything around him, it had seem that he fully went to knocked out mode.

Now it felt hours on end as he now could hear things around him, his body felt warm and covered. His ear flickered at the slightest sound as he now was waking up, his eyes fluttering open as he groaned at the massive headache he just got.

He heard the humming again.. the sweet sound of humming that sooth his headache to go away..

He began to sit up as the blanket that was covering him slightly shifted off of his upper body, his fur was cleaned and hes air shoes were off, neatly placed on the floor near the bed that he was sitting on

He looked around to see where he was, he was definitely not back in the G.U.N base, but the room was slightly dimmed by the sunlight behind the curtains. The walls were painted in (F/C) and the carpet beneath looked soft and fluffy to stand on.

The humming has come to a stop as he saw the person standing near the door way for the room. It was a young person, a smile stuck on their face as they realised that Shadow was now awake

"Oh! You're awake" Their soft voice spoke, it sounded nice to listen to, but Shadow couldn't know if you could be trusted, his ear flicked again

"Can you talk?" You spoke, Shadow eyes lingered on you, trying to cause any squirmy reaction or at least a shiver, but he nodded

"Good! But I have a heap of questions to ask ya little guy" You spoke in pure excitement as you gave a little clap

Shadow was curious about you all of a sudden, you weren't scared of him

He was a 4-5ft hedgehog that was made in a laboratory how can you not be scared of him?

"Are- Are you not scared of me?" He spoke which made you froze suddenly, you didn't actually think he would speak

Your eyes were widen but softened "Of course not! Why would I be scared of a cute guy like you?"

Shadow huffed at that as his ear flicked at the word 'cute' but he didn't say anything to make you upset, the pure smile laid on your face made his heart soften

He could see Maria in you for some reason, even though he just met you. He knew he could trust you

"You can stay here as long as you want, I found you in a grass field near my house as I hear the commotion outside so I wanted to take a look and saw you, so I picked you up and took you back to my house which you are in right now"

Your kind words made him realise you were the one that picked him up and carried him back here, to your house

He gave a little huff though his nose as he said "Thank you" In a whispered tone but obviously you hear it as you gave a little giggle and stepped out of the room which caused him to follow you

He didn't know why but he just did, his mind was telling him that he can't trust you now but his heart was telling him to follow you and protect you

But you were so kind, so pure..

Like an angel

HEHEHHE THIS ONE MIGHT BE MY BEST ONE YET

-A<3

[hashslashgrl]

Blue Lock Boys’ first time making you finish

NSFW! 18+ content

All characters aged up.

Featured characters: Nagi, Isagi, Rin

Warnings: fem!reader, sub!reader, switch!nagi, softdom!isagi, toxic!rin, FWB

Another request for my lovely friend 🤍 as always, leave some requests if you enjoy this ( ◠‿◠ )

✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧ Nagi Seishiro ✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧

☾ Nagi may be lazy, but he most certainly wasn’t lazy when it came to you.

☾ You showed the boy what it felt like to orgasm by someone else’s manipulation.

☾ He had tried pleasuring himself before after hearing Reo talk about how much he’s missing out on, but ultimately decided it was far too much of a hassle for something he wasn’t much interested in.

☾ Until you showed him pleasure.

☾ That moment for him completely reformed his idea of intimacy, longing more for your touch and wanting to understand this feeling.

☾ When Seishiro heard the whimpers escaping you from just the touch of his large hands, littered with coldness that spread through you as his fingers curled inside you. He knew he loved this feeling.

☾ It took you by surprise, because you didn’t even have to tell him what to do. He kind of just tried what felt right in the moment and (judging by your body’s reaction) he was naturally good at it. But I guess he was born with talent in more than just soccer.

☾ As he creeped his fingers deeper inside you—touching something within you you didn’t know existed—he began to wonder if he loved this more than anything he knew.

☾ That was when you reached your peak.

☾ Shaking with pleasure, you held onto the white haired boy, grasping for something to hold in this moment. Anything to bring you back to earth as your hot core throbbed around the cold fingers within you.

☾ Nagi, feeling your relentless grip upon his back combined with the heat of the moment, both of you breathing in and out taking in what you had experienced, knew what his new high was. And it was trembling beneath him.

🧩 ~•*🧩*•~ Yoichi Isagi ~•*🧩*•~ 🧩

• You and Isagi had actually been in a relationship for a couple months before he made you finish for the first time.

• When he first found out, he was understandably embarrassed.

• He mostly went through the motions of how he thought sex should go until the two of you became more comfortable talking with each other about your needs.

• What you didn’t know is that finding out that one simple confession from you would change him from that moment on.

• It took some trial and error, but the more he learned, the better he got.

“does that feel good?”

“tell me where you want it baby.”

“i want you to wrap your legs around me when you want me to go faster.”

• Yoichi had always been vocal during sex, but it had never been this needy. He wanted—needed to improve. The thought of you not sharing his high with him made him ache.

• One hand enveloped in your hair, one hand holding your waist, and all of you resting on his lap, he thrusted within you, searching for the missing piece.

• He could feel himself nearing his own climax.

• In that moment, you felt all of him within you, and he was damn eager. Looking at this beautiful boy who held you, sweat beading beneath his black hair, determination in his eyes as he held your head to ensure you maintained eye contact with him.

harder.

faster. you thought

• This moment was more intense than it had ever been with Isagi, and you liked it.

“I’m close.” he moaned with desperation in his eyes.

• You could feel it within yourself, and you knew he was searching for that too. You wanted it as much as he did. As his hips began to slow and hitch, you leaned back, tightening your legs around the boys waist.

• That was when he did it. Holding back his own release, he grabbed your waist, throwing you back onto the bed.

• His pace quickened. Your breath was lost. All of the sudden he was deep within you, again and again faster than ever.

• You hadn’t even noticed until after the fact that you were in the midst of both of your climaxes.

• Isagi didn’t need to ask if you had finished for the first time. He could feel it. The final piece of his puzzle had finally been completed.

Itoshi Rin.

❖ It didn’t take much for Rin to make you finish.

❖ He drove you crazy, constantly brushing against you or whispering in your ear as if he didn’t know how much it turned you on.

❖ The amount of nights you touched yourself to the thought of him was something you would never admit.

❖ But Rin had made it painfully clear that he was focusing on his soccer career. The only experience you had with him was in your imagination.

❖ Until that night.

❖ He had texted you insisting he needed to be in your presence.

❖ A frustrating game had left the Itoshi brother a mess, looking for a way to work through his frustration.

“look are we doing this or not.”

“if you can’t handle being friends with me after this then i understand.”

❖ While there was truth in his words, the sensation within you couldn’t be ignored, only to be aided by your own touch in the midst of a lonely night, any longer.

❖ It happened fast. He was somehow stronger than you had imagined. Larger than you had imagined as he positioned your hips on the edge of his bed, practically tearing the clothes off your body.

❖ As soon as he finished putting on the condom, he was inside you, all at once. It was enough to make you throw a hand over your mouth, desperate to not make it obvious how often you thought about this exact moment.

❖ His pace was fast, and he was going hard. Eyes darting between both the wall behind the headboard and himself, pressing within you.

❖ You liked that you could help him work through his frustration and finally reach that aching sensation within you.

❖ When he began to reach his climax, his cadence changed. And now he was slowly thrusting, and deep.

❖ You couldn’t hide the sounds of your excitement anymore. The breathiest moans were coming from within you as you felt yourself pulsate.

❖ Just then, he pulled out from within you. Leaving you a shaking mess on his bed.

…

“did you finish?”

“i worked through some things.”

“i’ll drive you home after i shower.”

❖ You weren’t sure if this was what you really wanted, but you had felt something you never had before. And the fact that Rin had that power drove you crazy.

[do-androids-dream-ao3acc]

They say a meteor is going to crash into Texas. Buck turns away from the TV – not even Taylor can deliver such news without a shocked face – only to be met with a satisfied expression on Gerrard's face.

“God’s punishment,” says the interim captain.

Unfortunately, he doesn't mean himself, because if you ask Buck, Gerrard is definitely a punishment from God. Bobby has to undergo what is supposedly a routine operation, and as if that weren't stressful enough – for Buck –, Gerrard has once again taken over the helm. Is that guy really the only available fire captain in the whole LAFD?

“We're far enough away from Texas, don't wet your pants, Buckley,” he says, patting Buck’s shoulder before he leaves to annoy somebody else. 

It's hard to escape such news, though. It seems to be the talk of the town; most of the people they're helping today seem eager to be putting their pain and problems on hold for a moment. 

“There's always someone who's worse off,” says Hen, ”it helps people to relax.”

“Sure, I'd rather be in a car accident than be squashed by a meteor,” Chimney remarks.

Buck doesn't want to imagine it, which is why his thoughts go into overdrive, and he's still somewhat agitated in the evening.

“Statistically, around 20,000 meteorites fall to Earth every year,” he explains to Tommy while they’re preparing dinner. 

“You mean those that are bigger than 3.5 ounces,” says Tommy casually, peeling the carrots. “Small ones happen almost every day, but you don't notice them. And big ones are rare anyway.”

Buck, who shouldn't be surprised by anything Tommy does, almost cuts his finger and puts his knife down.

“How do you know?”

“You think I haven't seen the news?”

Popping a slice of carrot into his mouth, Tommy grins. “A meteoroid is a piece of rock that is usually knocked out of an asteroid by a collision. When the meteoroid enters the atmosphere, it sometimes causes a luminous phenomenon, a meteor. And only when it touches ground it’s a meteorite.” 

“Y-you looked that up because you knew I was watching the news.” A somewhat embarrassed expression crosses Tommy’s face, scrunching his nose in that adorable way. 

“Too much?” he asks.

“What? No! You knew I'd spiral over the news, and…”

“Just because you have a very compassionate heart,” says Tommy with a wink, taking his hand. 

“Right,” Buck huffs in amusement. 

“Of course,” Tommy replies, while his hand squeezes Buck's, ”it's certainly not because you're worried about Bobby, or because Gerrard is constantly breathing down your neck, or because everyone has probably told you that a meteor will definitely not hit L.A.”

Maybe the man is a clairvoyant. Or maybe he just knows him too well by now, which is a much more heartwarming explanation. Because in fact, it wasn't just Chimney who – with the best of intentions – told him that an earthquake is statistically more likely than a meteor strike. 

“You're right,” says Buck, wrapping his arms around Tommy, ”but do you know what actually fueled my anxiety? One more natural disaster, what does it matter?”

Tommy raises a brow, but he doesn’t object. Because that’s another thing he knows by now: when it’s necessary to speak up (oh, they’ve worked on this, together), and also when it’s better to remain silent. 

“I was thinking about where I would want to be when something like that happens. I was thinking of all the people who’d not be able to make it to their loved ones in time, who would have to say goodbye over the phone. I couldn't help but think of those who would lose everything, not just their own lives.”

“That's dark,” Tommy breathes into Buck’s hair. 

“Maybe. But it was also somehow reassuring, because I knew where I wanted to be.”

“Right here,” Tommy says, holding him close. 

“Right here. And do you want to know something else?”

“Hmmm?” 

“The fact that you learned all this facts for me is extremely sexy.”

Tommy looks at him, “Oh?”

“Yes, oh,” Buck replies, laughing. “Disasters can wait, kiss me.”

[bruciemilf]

“barbarian king Katsuki “ this, “adventurer Izuku who gets courted and doesn't realize it” that!!

(love those btw)

I want an AU with a tired, permanently seldom, quiet as a graveyard, unbroken yet shattered war general Izuku has to marry brash, loud, reckless, and heart-stoppingly beautiful dragonkin Bakugou!

“HEY, NORTHENER!”

Bakugou glared up, ignoring the flutters in his gut.

This fucker is massive.

“Just cause I’m promised don’t mean I’ll be your bitch!” He snarls, like he wants the words sharp enough to slice Deku’s skin open,

“I’m the greatest fucking dragon rider on this goddam bitch of an earth. I’m my Kingdom’s pride, their sword. I haven’t fought, bled, clawed and survived since I was 12 just to become some brute’s quiet bride.

I’m Bakugou fucking Katsuki. And you don’t scare me one bit. “

Izuku’s face is still, for a few moments, lips slightly parted. Shouto nervously watches his features, steady and calm, glowing in Musutafu’s southern sunshine.

No one would think him capable of a laugh that soft.

Not Izuku Midoriya, son of war, adorned in earthy green stripes, more scar than man. Tall and bright and everything kind.

But he is. His laugh is spring soft, when he looks at Katsuki, particularly. His voice tense and low, used too little, raspy.

“…I’m sorry.”

Bakugou’s throat strains.

Izuku’s gaze softens, with ache and regret alike.

“In a better world,” he whispers, gazing down upon the dragonkin. Too great and too radiant and too good for what's coming. “We are not at war, and I do not force you. In a better world, I’m kind, and you’re free. You do what birds do.”

His face is sad. Its never been anything else.

“This is not that world,” he apologizes. “I’m sorry.”

His gaze turns to Kacchan’s parents, tense and tight, marked by war also. They look smaller, and he looks bigger, and the pain is mutual. “I’ll take him at sundown for the ceremony.”

Katsuki wants to sink his mouth in his heart and bleed it.

[tethrawke]

Rook was sidelined so hard, I would really love to know what on earth the live service concept was that was the birth of this mess. I have never cared about a character less. The fact that they cut out Varric's recruitment mission so we never actually SEE why Rook is so much more suited to leading than Harding doesn't help. I mean wasn't Harding the scout leader in Inquisition? It's not like she has 0 experience being in charge? But it feels like... Rook has 0 experience being in charge? I never SAW Rook being a leader before Varric handed over the reigns. And yeah. Rook on their own doesn't do anything? The companions collect the leads and tell you what to do next.

Okay so maybe Rook's job is making sure they all work together. Rook is the manager, not the SME. Fine. Except, they don't need Rook. They all get along PERFECTLY FINE WITHOUT ROOK. There's a little bit of friction with Taash/Emmrich but lbr they'd have figured this out alone or with a different companion's help. Lucanis/Davrin solve their issue alone. If Rook disappeared all of a sudden, those people would still work together just fine... And they do in the last act, literally creating a fake dagger all on their own out of NOWHERE?? Rook never had an idea like that lol. And they save Rook completely on their own too. Like they just. Don't need Rook. At all. If Rook disappeared, Harding or Neve would easily take over and people would follow them. Not to mention how Rook wasn't included in anything ever and always felt like an awkward outsider who wasn't actually invited to the party, but came because they ASSUMED they were when everyone else was talking about it, but no one wanted them to come? If you've seen the B99 episode of the gang going on a trip with Holt where they have their private fun party in the basement while the boring "boss" party no one wants to be at is happening upstairs... That's how I felt the whole game.

I will say though, world-ending odds or not, Hawke was just a much better protagonist because Hawke WAS A PROTAGONIST. The people in Hawke's life literally would never have become friends without Hawke. Some of them still hate each other by the end but endure for Hawke. Like they're all literally only in the group for/because of Hawke. And Hawke quite literally changes who they are as people and has a massive effect on their lives. The choices you make as Hawke for your friends and the city MATTER. The Veilguard choices just... Don't. The only choice that truly matters is the Emmrich one. Everything else is just a skin preference. It has no actual effect on the game or how the characters act. It's the illusion of choice and you KNOW it won't matter in the next DA, if there ever is one.

Rook as a character is just... Desperately bad, and I'm very sad about it. I mean the Inquisitor was such a bland pancake of a person as well with no real past or personality, but I ended up caring about them because of their relationship with the companions, who provided the seasoning and toppings to their bland pancake stack. I felt like they actually cared about the MC and they all had interesting, deep relationships with Inky. I just feel like... the Veilguard crew would literally not notice if Rook just said "fuck this shit" and dipped halfway through the game. I mean no one even noticed I didn't know Varric was dead? Be real 💀

What’s really jumping out at me on my second playthrough is that the writers of the first three games understood that your character was the main character. The Veilguard writers clearly thought that the main characters were their characters, the companions.

Every scene is about setting the companions up as cool or competent or sympathetic. Often, this is done at Rook’s expense. The companions get all the witty one-liners; Rook’s attempts at humor not only frequently fall flat, but are frequently called out for falling flat (even when they’re completely automatic and the player has no say in them).

The companions have all the knowledge and skills; Rook just brought them all together and gives them all pep talks so they can focus. I’m trying to edit out all of the comments where Rook is like “Um… what????” from my videos, and let me tell you, it takes WORK. There are A LOT of them. I can count on one hand the number of times when the Inquisitor or Hawke comes across as dumb, but it seems to be a built-in, unavoidable part of Rook’s character. I have not selected a single “purple” option in all of Act 1, and Rook is still coming across as the kid who tries to be the class clown to cover for the fact that he’s always confused. Rook’s role in most scenes is to say “Uhhh… what?” so that the companions look smart.

Rook is always the one offering sympathy and never the one getting it. No one actually comes to comfort you after Varric’s death. No one asks you how you’re feeling about having to lead the team now that Varric is gone. No one tries to reassure you or give you advice for dealing with the trickster god haunting your dreams. We’re told that Neve could keep Solas out of your head, but she never actually offers to do this for you. No one comforts a Shadow Dragon Rook when Minrathous is destroyed or a Grey Warden Rook when Weisshaupt is destroyed. Rook’s problems don’t matter. Only the problems of main characters matter.

Rook is a secondary character in their own story.

[itscloudsocks]

Time and Time again - chapter 1

cw: minor injury

The first time Viktor meets Jayce, he´s nothing more than nine years old. He´s been growing a lot lately so he might need to get a new cane soon. But since his dad has died and it´s just been himself and his mum, money´s more than just tight. His mum keeps picking up shifts at that big house where the people come and go and whenever she comes home early in the morning, she smells like sweet smoke and alcohol. Viktor doesn´t like it, but he says nothing, just snuggles closer once she slips into bed next to him, chasing all the warmth he can get. His mother is skinny but she still fusses over him. Over his messed-up leg and his hair that keeps on growing, over his scrubby little hands and the motor oil that seeps into his clothes and stains his pants. Over the little cuts and bruises he comes home with every day. She´s worried that other kids are mean to him but he just shakes his head. They don´t play with him, they can´t be mean if they don´t even look at him.  

Viktor plays alone, usually. Down down down in one of the deepest, darkest parts of Zaun, where the sun hardly shines and the smog is thick and bitter on his tongue, Viktor usually plays near the small canal. It´s water coming from the Topside, he´s heard some kids say, a crack in the earth, a passageway up for everyone who´s brave enough. There are official ways, apparently, a bridge and an elevator, but they´re guarded. He´s never seen them, has never dared to wander too far from home, frightened by his mothers warnings.

They don´t play around, malá hvězda. They kill everyone from down here, they´re not your friends. Don´t ever go up there, don´t even try, you hear me?

Viktor has only ever nodded, too frightened to ask what they are. Mama had told him that they´re too far from the river and the bridge, that they don´t dare to come down here, that they´re too scared. That this means safety. Viktor isn´t too sure about that, but he trusts her. Who else can he trust, if not his Mama?

So he stays down there, rummages in the trash for metal and builds little toys. They´re wonky little things, crooked and ugly, but his mother still puts them all on the little shelf above their bed and gives him a kiss to the forehead. So Viktor keeps making them, keeps showing them to his mother who keeps kissing his forehead, keeps putting his little figurines up on the shelf for the both of them to see. 

Sometimes Viktor wonders about that place up there, where the water runs clean and the sun is supposed to shine all the time. He wonders if there are kids like himself up there, not dirty and hungry, but curious, adventurous. He wonders what he´s done to deserve the life he and his mother have to live, what he needs to do to change it. Because he would. For his mother to stop having to work in that big house where the people come and go and the air is sweet and pink and heavy, for them to be a family again. He wonders if the kids up there have dreams, or if they have everything; if they can even dream because they don´t wish for anything more, they can´t wish for anything more. That´d be sad, Viktor thinks, not being able to dream. He dreams, he does nothing but dream. Mama always calls him malá hvězda, little star. A few years ago shes told him about the place where he´s been born. Where she and his dad came from. About the clear, blue sky and the deep rich nights, about the moon and the stars. He´d love to see it some day. But he probably won´t. 

He´s nine now and last week he´s met a man named Singed. While he´d been frightened by Singed and the strange cave-like house he lives in, he´d liked his pet. A big, soft pink thing with big big eyes and a slobbery, soft tongue. Rio, his name is. He had licked the grime and dirt from Viktor´s hand as a greeting and Viktor had laughed. He´d left with the promise from Singed, that he´d be allowed to return any time, take care of Rio with him.

He´s nine and on his way down the dim, wet alley, he hears a sound. It´s strange enough to see other kids his age in the immediate vicinity of his home, but to hear someone crying? Following the sound, Viktor tries but fails to keep the tap tap tap of his cane to a minimum. People don´t cry down here. Crying means weakness and weakness means death. Sometimes, when he was younger and still afraid of the dark, he´d cry into his pillow until his mother came home in the early early mornings and pulled him against her in a bony embrace, reminding him that crying would get him nowhere. 

Rounding a corner, Viktor narrows his eyes. Nothing. Besides houses, stacked upon each other like the empty liquor boxes Viktor sometimes stumbles upon when exploring the trashcans of the bar just a couple of blocks from home. It smells like trash and smoke and very faintly like fried pine tart and Viktors stomach grumbles painfully. The noise continues, a bit louder now, and Viktor narrows his eyes at two large wooden boxes stacked upon each other against the side of a brick wall. Peaking around the corner, all he sees for a moment is a mop of dark hair and a pair of tan arms wrapped around knees. It´s a kid, he notices, a very clean, very well-dressed kid with a nasty gash on their knee. 

“Hey,” he blurts out, because he´s curious and adventurous and because nobody else is here to see him.

Startled, the kid shrieks and pulls their legs further towards their chest. Still, the kid lifts their head. Big, hazel eyes blink back at Viktor, round cheeks dirty and streaky with tears, blood trickling down the right side of their face. It´s a boy, he notices, and he´s around Viktors age. 

“Please don´t hurt me,” the boy whimpers, wiping his snotty nose on his shoulder. Tilting his head, Viktor watches the boy gasp for air and gasp for air and gasp for air. He starts breathing in a way that doesn´t sound quite right, all tight and short and shallow, so Viktor smacks his foot with the bottom of his cane.

“Ouch! What was that for?”, the boy whines, putting his hands over his feet.

“You were freaking out. Who are you? You´re not from here,” Viktor demands to know, still staring down at the boy.

“I´m Jayce,” he sniffles, then coughs. “I…was playing…and there was this crack…and I wanted to check it out and - and then I fell down and and I hit my head and my knee hurts and -”

Viktor ignores the rest of his rambling. He fell down. He could´ve only fallen down when he was at up there, the top.

“You´re a Topsider,” he interrupts, taking a little step back.

“I…I just wanna go back home to my Ma!"

A fresh batch of tears appear in Jayce´s eyes; while wiping them away, clearly frustrated, he bumps against the injury over his brow and starts crying even more, interrupted by the occasional cough that in the end makes him hiccup. He truly is a Topsider, he´s struggling with every inhale down here.

“Why´d you fall in the first place? Are you stupid?”

“N-No, I´m not stupid! Ma says I´m super smart!”

Tilting his head, Viktor absentmindedly taps his cane against the ground.

“What is that, anyways?”, Jayce asks, curiosity in his eyes while tears still roll down his cheeks. 

“My cane. Problem?”

“Hm? No! Why do you have it?”

“I need it to walk. Mama says my leg was fucked when I was born so I can´t walk like the normal kids.”

With a gasp, Jayce stares up at him.

“You said a bad word,” he whispers. “Ma always gets mad when I curse.”

“Your Ma sounds weird,” notices Viktor.

“She´s not! She´s the best in the world! Did you make that cane yourself? Can I see?”

“Don´t break it, you hear me?”

Hesitantly, Viktor hands his cane into Jayce´s patiently waiting hands and leans against the box for stability instead. But Jayce doesn´t swing it around like a sword like the other kids used to when they stole his cane - when they still paid attention to him. Instead, he carefully places it in his now folded legs and lets his finger travel over the bolts and screws and folded metal.

“You really made that yourself?” When Viktor nods, Jayce´s entire face lights up. “That´s so cool! Dad sometimes lets me help out in the forge but he says I´m too young to build my own stuff yet. I really really badly want to, though! Did your dad teach you that?”

“No,” frowns Viktor, taking his cane back. “My dad is dead. I taught me all myself.”

“Oh.” For a moment, Jayce looks unsure of what to say next. 

“I think I know how to get you back home. Come on.”

Viktor watches Jayce struggle to stand and wince when he puts weight on his hurt leg. Still, he pulls his brows together in determination and shows Viktor to lead the way.

They mostly get through without problems. Viktor has only been in the Lanes a couple of times, mostly because his mother showed him where to get help, if anything ever were to happen to her. From time to time Viktor pushes Jayce into the shadow of houses before following him. Most people here aren´t unkind to kids as long as you stay out of their way. By the time they reach the Last Drop, Viktor is shaking in exhaustion and Jayce is back to being whiny and teary-eyed. Viktor doesn´t dare enter through the main door because Jayce is a Topsider and he´s not sure what people might do if they find out, so he sneaks around the back. It takes some knocking but then, the wooden door creaks open and a large shadow falls into the alleyway.

“Viktor! Boy, are you lucky I´ve been back here. Who´s your friend?”

Vander looks like always, big and hulky and kind. He´s one of the few grownups Viktor likes. 

“That´s Jayce,” he explains. “He´s from the Topside, he´s hurt. Help him.”

He´s about to turn and leave when Vander, a laugh on his lips and a heavy hand on Viktor´s shoulder, stops him.

“Not so fast, young man. You two are gonna come inside and tell me exactly what happened. Come on, no need to look at me like that. In you go. Felicia will be excited to see you.”

Lighting up a bit, Viktor slips past Jayce and Vander and enters the backrooms of Vander´s bar. Here, between boxes upon boxes of drinks and food, stands an old, sat-through couch. Jaycee sneezes when Viktor flops down on it and temptively sits on the edge next to him, looking around with big, scared eyes.

“I´m Vander, kid, it´s alright. I´ll be right back, yeah?” Jayce nods lightly and follows Vander leaving with his eyes before turning towards Viktor.

“What is this place? I´m scared…”

“A bar,” Viktor explains, stretching his aching leg out in front of him. “Mama said that if I´m ever in trouble, Vander would know what to do. So that´s what I´m doing.”

The door opens again and Vander returns, followed by Felicia. Viktor has only seen her twice out of the few times he´s been here, but she´s nice. Her dark purple hair has been braided and she´s wearing a dress similar to the one his mother used to wear years and years ago. Nervously, she glances over towards Vander, who rolls his eyes and nudges her closer.

“They´re kids, Fel, you´ll be fine.”

Upon coming closer, Viktor notices her holding a small leather bag in a hand that she, once she´s in front of Jayce, places on the ground. 

“I´ll just patch you up, yeah?”, she smiles softly, warm eyes taking in Jayce´s frightened, dirty appearance. While his wounds get cleaned, Felicia wraps him up into a conversation exciting enough for him to chatter on and on and completely forget about the pain.

“Tell me, kid,” Vander starts, sitting on a chair opposite of Viktor. “What exactly happened here?”

“I found him,” Viktor frowns. “He was crying and I heard it. Said he fell through a crack all the way down here.”

“Oh, you poor thing,” Felicia sighs, patting Jayce´s hair while putting a bandaid over the wound on his forehead.

“I was just playing and wanted to check it out,” mumbles Jayce quietly, eyes cast down to his trembling hands. “I…tried to ask for help but this guy just…yelled at me…so I ran.”

“You did good, bringing him here.” Vander nods approvingly, making Viktor´s chest swell in pride. “I´ll bring you back up, yeah? To the bridge, the Enforcers will bring you back home.”

“But my mum can´t find out where I was! She´s gonna be so mad!”

“We´ll see what I can do,” calms Vander him down, chuckling. “Let´s get you boys some food and then it´s time for you to go back home, hm?”

Vander leaves the room again, taking Felicia with him. It´s quiet for a moment before Jayce speaks up again.

“She was nice,” he mumbles, cheeks rosy. Viktor frowns, but says nothing. 

“Can…can we meet again some day?”

That makes Viktor turn his head, staring at Jayce in disbelief.

“What?”

“Meet…again…I don´t have many friends my age and…you helped me and…maybe you can teach me how to build things? I´m a really quick learner!”

“How in the world would you even manage to come down here? Fall through another crack?”

Frowning, Jayce crosses his arms in front of his chest. “No. I´ll let you know that I´m very fast and sneaky. I´ll find a way!

“You have a deathwish,” Viktor notices. It´s the next plausible explanation of why anyone would voluntarily come down here.

“I don´t! I just…don´t have anyone to play with!”

Blinking, Viktor tilts his head to the side, thinking. He would´ve thought that people up there live in gluttony, having too much of everything, even friends. Huh. 

“...fine. But I´m not coming up there. Ever.”

“And I don´t want to go back to where you found me…the air was very bad down there.”

“It´s bad everywhere down here. It´s your peoples fault,” grumbles Viktor, feeling protective for reasons he doesn´t quite understand.

“I´m sorry that my people are mean to your people,” mumbles Jayce, eyes large and honest. It´s a bit unbearable to look at him. “But I won´t be mean to you! Promise. We can be friends and friends are never ever mean to each other!”

“...okay.”

“You´re Viktor, right? Cool! Ma says it´s important to say thank you, so, thank you for helping me!”

Vander comes back with two smoking bowls of silverberry porridge and Viktor eats so fast, he burns the roof of his mouth. It´s so worth it. Jayce, next to him, is slow and careful in trying it but when he does, his eyes light up again and he grins at Viktor.

Because Jayce is a topsider and apparently gets a lot of food at home, he has some leftovers that Viktor happily devours as well. The hot food has made him warm and sleepy but there´s no time to take a nap before Vander returns once more, this time with his coat in his arm.

“Ready to go?”

Viktor follows the two outside but stops at the corner of the Last Drop. Never before has he gone even a step further. Jayce, holding onto Vanders hand, takes a couple of steps before noticing that Viktor is not behind him. Instead of asking, he just turns and waves, a huge smile on his face that shows a gap in his teeth Viktor hasn´t noticed before. 

“See you soon, yeah?”

Nodding, Viktor timidly raises a hand and waves back. He stays until Vander and Jayce, now no more than two figures in the smog, fully disappear. Then, he turns and starts the tiring, gruesome walk back home without waiting for Vander to return. That night, he doesn´t tell his mother where he´s been, what has happened, who he´s met, he just nods when she asks if he had a nice day and lets her pull him closer, lulled into sleep by her stroking his hair.

[the-most-humble-blog]

Humans: The Ultimate Flex—Suck It, Animals and Aliens

Proof We’re the Crown Jewel of Evolution (and Why No One Else Even Comes Close)

Let’s not sugarcoat it: humans are the GOAT species. We’ve got opposable thumbs, complex languages, and the ability to feel existential dread at 2 a.m. over a dumb thing we said in 7th grade. No other species—or hypothetical alien race—has anything on us.

Think I’m exaggerating? Let me prove it with some brain and logic magic that’ll make you want to high-five yourself. Animals? Aliens? They can sit down and take notes.

1. Opposable Thumbs: The OG Superpower

First, let’s talk thumbs. Most animals are stuck with paws, hooves, or tentacles. But humans? We have these magical little appendages that let us write novels, build cities, and scroll endlessly through TikTok.

What Makes Us Special: Our thumbs can touch every other finger, giving us precision grip. That’s why we’re holding smartphones while chimps are still throwing poop.

Think about it: If aliens show up without thumbs, we’re dominating the handshake game.

2. Pattern Recognition: Brain Magic Level 100

Your brain is basically a biological Sherlock Holmes.

You See Faces in Clouds: That’s pareidolia—a fancy way of saying your brain loves patterns so much, it creates them even when they don’t exist.

You Predict the Future: Well, kind of. Your brain analyzes past experiences to anticipate what’s coming next. That’s why you can dodge a falling object or, more importantly, guess the next plot twist in The Bachelor.

Here's a Thought: Meanwhile, a lion can’t even tell that the waterhole is a trap until it’s too late.

3. Language: The Ultimate Mic Drop

Other animals communicate, sure. Dolphins click, bees dance, and your cat meows at you for food. But humans? We’re dropping sonnets, memes, and political debates.

Infinite Combinations: With 26 letters (or however many your language has), we can create endless words and ideas.

Aliens Could Never: If they don’t show up speaking Shakespeare, are they even worth the hype?

Humble Brag: We’re so good at language, we invented emojis to make up for not having enough ways to roast each other.

4. Memory: A Blessing and a Curse

Your brain doesn’t just store information—it rewrites and replays it like a director’s cut of your life.

No Other Animal Remembers Like This: Elephants may never forget, but they’re not lying awake at night cringing over awkward trunk waves.

Your Mind Is a Time Machine: You can travel to the past (memories) and imagine the future (dreams). Animals? They live in the moment like some kind of zen monks.

Fun Flex: Humans can create fictional worlds better than reality. Ever see a dolphin write Game of Thrones? Didn’t think so.

5. Problem-Solving: We Literally Break Physics for Fun

No other species solves problems like we do.

Fire: We didn’t just discover it; we harnessed it.

Tools: We’re the only species that looked at a stick and thought, “Let’s kill something big with this and eat it.”

Space Travel: Meanwhile, most animals don’t even understand up and down.

Alien Diss: If they haven’t figured out intergalactic travel yet, are they really that advanced?

6. Humor: The Ultimate Sign of Intelligence

Here’s the big one: humans laugh.

Why It’s Special: Humor requires recognizing absurdity, connecting ideas, and delivering them with timing.

No Competition: Animals might look funny, but they’re not cracking jokes.

Weird Thought: If aliens can’t meme, do they even matter?

7. Consciousness: The Unbeatable Crown

You’re aware of yourself. You can ask questions like, “Why am I here?” and then immediately distract yourself with cat videos.

No Other Species Has This Level of Meta: Animals act on instinct. You can reflect on your actions—and cringe at them later.

We are our Brain: Sure, consciousness makes us anxious, but at least we’re not stuck chewing cud and staring at nothing.

Humanity Wins, Every Time

So, yeah. Are humans perfect? No. But are we leagues ahead of anything else on Earth—or in the universe (so far)? Hell yes. Our brains, thumbs, and ability to crack dark jokes about it all make us the species to beat.

Animals? Cute, but predictable. Aliens? Call us when they invent sarcasm. Until then, humanity reigns supreme.

Think humans are awesome? (Of course you do—you’re one of us.) Follow The Most Humble Blog for more unapologetic takes and hilariously sharp insights into why we’re the best.

[is-on-its-way]

ripples

inspired by this wonderful story

Read on AO3

The first time he asked her to marry him he was joking… sort of. They’d been on a case buried two basement floors deep in the bowls of the NIH library in Bethesda. He was turning the big wheels to get a row open to check for a journal they were searching for, and she’d walked past him without glancing at him.

“Why are you looking in physiology…” mind control will be under psychological capacities in… philosophy.” She said almost absentmindedly as she cranked the handle on the end of the shelf ten feet away from him.

He’d felt the familiar jolt in his chest he’d gotten so used to, being around her. That rush of adrenaline when she took charge, or knew better than the men in the room, or knew better than him. Her brain was a wealth of information in topics he hardly understood, and he was forever thankful for her expertise. But when she revealed she knew about topics that interested him as well? It was electrifying. Literally- he could feel his brain short circuit, so, staring at her, smirk on his face, it had just tumbled out of his mouth before his good sense managed to catch up.

She’d looked at him like he was insane, not an unfamiliar look even then. Hands on hips in the florescent light with the beige walls and grey rug and white endless stacks, a divinity standing in front of him when anyone else in her place would’ve seemed lesser for it. To his surprise she’d broken into a smile and then a giggle. He’d laughed with her savoring her rare joy in this private limbo among the stacks. Buttoned up as she had to be back then, practiced in long days working in mens fields, her laugh was dangerous, raw, uninhibited. Men didn’t know how to deal with that kind of power. So she hid herself most of the time. He knew it was second nature, from even before the FBI, from years in a cutthroat hospital culture and med school, she’d graduated summa cum laude. She was destined for men to be jealous and angry at her for daring to be who she was from the beginning. 

He thought it was sexy, even sexier how she gave herself up to him in tiny fits and starts over the years. He waited for each moment, feeling like a kid running down the stairs on christmas every time it happened. After that there’d been no opportunity to do it again. There had been no right moment after she’d been taken, to joke lightheartedly about such things, or remind her of the normalicy she might’ve had if not for him. For the x files. He’d tried to give her an out even, asked her to quit so she could feel like she wasn’t quitting on him or the mission, but she’d refused, even more resolute to find the truth now. He could’ve asked her again right on the spot if he had been more selfish.

If he was honest, if she’d said yes that first time, he thought he might’ve gone along with it, just for the mere fact someone like her, could want him. He would’ve been too terrified to fuck everything up then though, and probably would’ve messed it all up and hurt her more than she deserved.

The next time he asked her, he had never been more serious about anything in his life. He loved her, but it wasn’t really about that. It wasn't really about the fact he knew she loved him either.  It was the knowledge that before his life was done, he would make her his wife. It was just a fact, like how humans breathe air and fish water. Like how the sun rises in the morning and the moon only faces one way. It just was. He was hers and she was his and letting her leave this earth without declaring that, without letting her declare that to her god, was unthinkable. He should’ve felt insane. They had not even so much as been on an official date, but when you’re insane do you know it in the moment? 

She’d had tears in her eyes and panic in her voice, so strangled she could hardly breathe. He was on his knees at her bedside, chair kicked out as he realized the panic she had arrived at on the fifth day in her hospital bed hooked up to the poison that was saving her and killing her in front of his eyes. She let all her walls break then, let might’ve been putting it kindly. Her walls had been broken against her will and she was looking at him to save her. He wished with all his might he could but all he could do in that moment was hold her hand and wipe her tears and blink his away angrily at the audacity of his body to think this was about him. 

She told him things she’d never have said to him if she wasn’t feeling trapped like an animal against the end. Things he’d read in her diary entry to him. Things deeper than that. He’d told her he didn’t need to hear any of it, he knew already, she could leave him without worrying about him. 

“I’ll be okay Scully.” He rubbed his thumbs over the thin pale fingers in his hands. He pulled them to his cheek, head bowed over hers nose brushing the flyaways of her natural curls.

She looked at him wild eyed, on her side, pushing herself closer to him.

“What if I wont be? “ she whispered. “What if I…” 

A tinge of regret. He felt it in his own stomach before he saw it form in her eyes, but she went on “I wanted to be a wife.” her voice quivered, stopping before the rest of it. But he understood. She wanted a life, a husband, children, every normal thing you naively expect from life when yours hasn’t been stolen from you. She cried quietly into his chest as he wrapped his arms around her, inhaling the scent of her, committing it to memory, stroking her hair. Saying nothing because there was nothing to say.

He would’ve held her for hours if she’d needed, knees screaming, but when she pulled away, his heart shattered at the look in her amber ringed, warm sea, eyes. He couldn’t let her regret, couldn’t let her feel shame for opening up to him when their affection for each other had never before been debased by the simplicity of words.

So he said words back. Threw a stone into the still waves of the spacetime realm they alone inhabited now that the damn was open. He offered the only thing he could in that long list of regrets she would leave with. 

“We could get married.” A hand brushed down her cheek, her face blurry as he blinked furiously. “Marry me Dana.” Voice between a whisper and speech, between pleading for her soul and offering his. 

Her answer then was also no. Dragging herself back to reality, she politely pretended he was joking. And he politely smiled along with her. It was easy to play along with her, easy to ignore his shattering heart. He would do anything for her. Port in her chest, eyes the color of fresh bruises, sinking deeper into her hospital bed every moment of every hour, holding his hand at his insistence despite her chemo induced clamminess. The look in her eyes though, the sorrow, haunted him every time he closed his eyes until she was cured, and then occasionally after.

So polite to pretend he’d been joking… 

After she was cured, to stymy the sour feeling in his stomach every time his mind brought him back there; her sweetest little ‘Thank you, but we shouldn’t. I can’t break your heart any more than I already have and you’re breaking mine…”; he made a habit of asking her to marry him. Dilution of that moment was his tactic. Rewriting the honesty into lighthearted jokes so as to calm the waters in their little world.

Mostly he was joking. Mostly he was pretending to joke. Mostly he wanted her to say yes. One day, he would ask, and she would make a ripple.

🦋🌀🦕🔹🐋 @today-in-fic

[pastlivesxpastlie]

𓍯𓂃Lovesick

mdni 18+

Summary: Vessel becomes fixated with you after you provide him some comfort at a party. Are you as gone for him, too? Pairing: Vessel x fem!reader wc: 4.7k head's up: vessel x you, smut with plot, friends to lovers, afab!reader, no y/n, oral sex (m receiving), pining + yearning, talk of male masturbation, texting, absolutely idiots in love, angst, bit of a slow burn (?), use of "good boy" and "good girl," tit play, couch sex, cowgirl, light choking, HEA, threats of waxing poetic about progressive metal

Taglist aka Situation Enjoyers™️: @lifemod17 @glitterghost @inv3ga @adenobabe @jeriiicho @milk--bones @myaudiocommentary @horsebiologist @intake-of-breath @fruitsandcheese @0hg00dgirl @goosepond69 @friendly-neighborhood-ghoul @lynzeequitlollygagging @thatxxjiyong-ssi @cloudy-soul @daddysaidbringthethunder @cheomain @evisnotok

“On your knees….please. Yes, like that. Mmmmph. Thank you.”

Vessel can’t help but still be polite. He can’t believe his eyes. Nor the feeling of the night air on his hard cock. He’s floating above himself and watching himself get jerked off outside at a house party. It’s not enough that he feels the spit on your palm. That could be his hand and this is just an elaborate fantasy. One of many.

But it would be the first about you. You were untouchable. You’re just a friend…just a friend…just a friend…only a friend. 

“Can I use my mouth?”

Holy fuck. This is real life.

In his fantasies, no one asks. Vessel doesn’t dream about giving consent. He dreams of being craved. Taken. Always willing. His breath catches. 

“Hey, it’s ok,” you whisper, “we don’t have to anyth-“

“Do anything to me. Please.”

His head falls back with a soft thud against the house. Getting head was always fun but this felt therapeutic. You had, of course, asked Ves why he seemed down. You always asked him those kinds of things. “Someone who cares asks those things,” he’d told himself, “but someone who loves you does something about it.” Now you’re on your knees in the dirt sucking him off. How did this even happen?

𓍯𓂃earlier...

Vessel slumped in the couch and mindlessly dragged his fingers on his thigh. He had made his rounds and said “hi” to the people he wanted to talk to and smiled awkwardly at the people he sought to avoid or didn’t know. He deserved a little sit down after that. The past few months had put him in a rut. There was always a post-tour slump but this one hit different. Vessel felt down. Down because he had writer’s block. Down because it had been gloomy this week and the week before and before that etc etc. Down because his bed was cold. Thinking back on the hook-ups during tour already got boring. The old encounters going stale. Does he hook up again with someone randomly against his better judgement or does he deal with it?

On more than one occasion, Vessel had been accused of being naive when it came to love, to which he responded, “I’m just being cautious.” Where some might be naive about love and affection and throw themselves at the first person who did the bare minimum, Vessel was naive in that he just figured people were being nice or he just got lucky. Otherwise, people didn’t really want to mess with being in a relationship with a musician. They’re broody. They’re too busy. They’re married to their work. They’re full of themselves. Vessel internalized those things. Sure he was broody to begin with, but that was his brand. But everything else, sure, he could be married to his work and keep himself busy. “Just earth sign things!” Easy as that. And maybe one day someone else’s indifference towards commitment would rub off on him. His rumination is interrupted when the couch sinks a bit beside him and he feels a soft punch on his arm. 

“What does it mean when I don’t get ‘hi’ or your awkward smile, hm?”

His heart warms up a bit. It’s you. You teeter somewhere between “friend” and “good friend.” It’s always nice to see you but you leave it at that. You see each other when you see each other. He shrugs and looks over at you. “Didn’t see you. Bet you were hiding or something.” 

“Tsk. Fine. Maybe I was. We know too much about each other’s awkward little quirks,” you sigh. “Doesn’t mean I didn’t want to see you, though. How you been?”

Vessel laughs to himself, thinking of the miserable spiral you interrupted. “Imagine how much more awkward this could get if I told you the truth.” But you don’t laugh at his little self-deprecation. That makes him nervous. His insides churn. You’re just watching him, waiting to hear what he has to say. Why do you do that? So many people ask “how are you” because it’s polite…why do you care so much? “Look.” Vessel finally speaks again and flattens his hair. “I’m not great.” 

You shift and exhale softly. “Yeah. Me neither.”

“Really?”

“Really.”

He can see it in your eyes. You’re not trying to have some misery-loves-company-circlejerk. You have that same “mask” on as him. “Hate to hear that.” For a second Vessel feels something stir within him. Your tone is unenthusiastic but he knows it has nothing to do with him. He’s just glad to bond with someone, even if it’s over something lame like depression or whatever is eating at you both. “What’s the matter?”

“Oh just…general bullshit.” You shrug but Vessel knows whatever it is, you can’t just shrug it off. “Like if I’m so stuck, maybe this is where I’m meant to be. Even if it hurts.”

He makes an “o” shape with his mouth and is lost in thought. He has certainly felt that way before, but hearing you say it about yourself is heretical. He hates that you think that way. “No.”

“Oh. Well…alright. Thanks Ves, you healed me.” You chuckle dryly. He rolls his eyes and pats your leg. “So what’s got you down? For real.”

Vessel’s smile fades. “I feel…stuck as well. Just…going through the motions.” He scratches the back of his neck. “All the excitement of the last couple of months just…ripped from me. Gets hard to keep up with my emotions when I’m…frankly…bored. Bored of feeling this way. My own company.”

“I get that. Like you have to have things changing or moving all the time.”

“Exactly. Like some kind of jump that isn’t a substance or…whatever.”

“Hah…yeah… sometimes I just feel like…” you begin but pause.

“Like what?” Why are you blushing like that, he wonders idly. And why is it suddenly the cutest thing he’s ever seen?

“Uhm. I feel like…I need to get laid. That would fix me, right? Huge load of emotions and hormones released with someone you like…what could be better?”

“Oh is it that simple?” Vessel laughs. A genuine, warm laugh. You’re so silly, he just loves talking to you. And he loves how you laugh with him. He was scared for a second that you might take it personally, but he’s glad to see that you too have a sick sense of humor when you’re feeling unwell. 

“Maybe it is. Guess…we won’t know until…” you trail off.

“Until we try…” Vessel’s throat goes dry. He tries to swallow hard before nonchalantly scoping out how many people were on the patio. 

𓍯𓂃

Vessel always had to make things happen, and he was fucking exhausted from it. Now you were happening to him. You clued in on what he wanted when he suggested you both get some fresh air. Hell, you were the one who found the perfect spot for this tryst. 

“Y-you like doing that?” he whimpers. He can’t make out much of your features but he feels you nod and smile and…fuck, take him deeper in your mouth. He’s holding his breath. He knows he shouldn’t but if he doesn’t exert some kind of control over himself he’ll lose it. But when you grab his waist and start literally fucking your face with his cock he has to let go. He grips your hair, willing himself to resist overpowering you and thrusting harder against your movements. “Ffffff-fffuck.” He whimpers softly and bites at his lip… wishing you had kissed him before you got started so he could imagine it again while you savored every inch of him. His entire body shivers when you moan against his cock, making him realize you like the sound of his whimpers. His pathetic little pleas and moans.

“‘That feel good, Ves?” You whisper, stroking his cock as you catch your breath? “Hmm?”

He nods and whines, trying to not be loud. Thank god it was dark, otherwise you would have seen the tears threatening to spill. The way he bit his hand to keep from moaning out loud. What if you two got caught? What if another friend heard what you pulled from him? “Fuck…you’re gonna make me cum…”

“That’s a good boy.” Vessel feels his stomach drop as you start sucking him off again but with more enthusiasm. Like you need him to cum. And he does. But you don’t move…you keep your mouth on him. And he  might be the one cumming down your throat but he’s not claiming you. No. 

You. 

Own. 

Him. 

Somehow, and much to his delight, Vessel does not lose sleep over the ordeal or his new-found, all-consuming feelings for you. In fact, he’s never slept better. Sleeping once meant loud, restless dreams; now it means a nestling in and wondering about you before dozing off…imagining he’s holding you. He keeps telling himself it’s infatuation. It’ll go away. He’s just starstruck from the way you took care of him. But then…the ruminating started…

Each morning, Vessel wondered about you. Maybe today you’ll share something on Instagram that he can make a little comment on. Send a react. Yes, sure, you’re friends, but you’re not “close.” When he looked into your soft, sweet eyes the other night he wondered how a darling little thing like you learned to give head like that. Suddenly your life story became his Roman Empire. Were you a natural? Did someone give you gentle pointers the first few times? Or did you have to do it a lot to get good? Did you have to go jumping from man to man to find the love you so desperately craved? This made Vessel’s blood run cold. The thought of sweet, wonderful you merely being an option to other men. A small voice told Vessel that perhaps he himself was just an option. Maybe you did stuff like this a lot. One among many. Vessel chided this voice. Locked it in a dark little room with no ventilation. You were good. You wouldn’t use anyone. In fact, you probably did learn this from practice because who wouldn’t love you?

Vessel knows he’s being stupid. You two like each other but he won’t reach out. Then again, you don’t reach out either. That’s ok. He had no coherent plan of moving things forward. He was also terrified the spark you two shared would be gone if you tried hanging out again. What if you couldn’t handle his schedule? Or didn’t find it endearing when his moods never let up? What if that stupid voice was right? Most of the time, he resigned himself back to “I’ll see her when I see her,” and a cheeky wank to take the edge off. But that always left him feeling guilty. Empty. 

This particular morning he had been deep in thought about what your favorite position might be and how many times he could make you cum just from fucking you at a torturous pace that way. Today’s position of choice was doggy, but bent over his desk, on top of his notes from recording and writing sessions. That was what you deserved. You drove him to absolutely hopeless distraction…you should be bent over while he stands behind you, fingers melting into your flesh, holding you in place. He swears this will be the last time he jerks off thinking about you…but because of that he can’t help but edge himself. Thinking about you is easy. Not because you yourself are easy…but because Vessel realizes how naturally desirable you are. Seeing the way you took control and took care of him opened his mind to this entirely new world of fantasies. The heat blooming from his groin to his tummy made him stop for the third time. Yes, in this fantasy you were bent over for him…but there was more to it. You were doing him a favor. Good boys got to take breaks. Good boys stuck in a rut need to empty their brains and fill up their girlfriends. FUCK he wanted you to be his girlfriend so bad. And that thought scared him…as does the sound of his phone buzzing a few times. His train of thought vanishes along with his hard-on. Cursing whoever who messaging him this early, he grabs his phone but then makes the most embarrassing noise known to man. 

You: hey isn’t this a band you like?

the second message is the link to an instagram post

You: they’re doing a last minute show next weekend 

And sure enough, one of his favorite niche prog metal bands was playing in place of someone else at a local venue on Saturday. And tickets were dead cheap. Another message. 

You: if I knew anything about metal I’d go with you. Not sure how much fun I’d be 

Sirens! Flashing lights! All the bells and whistles going off in Vessel’s brain are firing. His inner little voices of reason (and everything in between) begin a debate.

“She’s flirting!” “Obviously, she’s flirting she sucked your dick.” “Can’t be that deep mate, she’s just now talking to you after a month.” “Sure it is, it is has to be flirting! She’s practically begging for you to invite her!”

Vessel: lol I could send you a playlist :)

“Mate, come on, what are you doing?” “Invite her over to hear the playlist. That’ll will be cute” “and then fuck her. Fuck her like the sl—“

Vessel rolls over and screams in his pillow. He will not have a meltdown over this.

Vessel: or we could throw you in feet first? Come with me? 

… … … 

Those infernal fucking “typing” bubbles are killing him. 3 minutes of that. Then no response. Vessel isn’t sure what he did wrong or if he did do anything wrong. He tries to go about his day but there’s still that nagging suspicion that he did too much. But when he least expects it…

You: sorry this is so last minute. are you busy tonight? 

Vessel: no, I’m not. Why?

He bites his lip as he waits to see what you’re planning. He wonders if you want to talk about what happened…or maybe do it again…or maybe act like nothing happened. 

You: I just don’t want to be alone tonight.  Vessel: I don’t want to be either.

It’s set then. He’ll go to your place…maybe have some drinks…maybe get a chance to thank you for the fun. He wanted to taste you. To make you cum like he did for you. Too many nights he spent wondering what you’re into. He had cast you in his mind as a soft domme, probably just because that’s what tickled his fancy at the time. But you had this caring…almost nurturing sense about you that night. You touched him like he was precious…like he would break if you didn’t take your time. He wanted to show you he was tougher than that. He could take it. The mere thought of even getting a chance to kiss you and make you feel even a fraction of the pleasure you gave him made his cock twitch. The time between now and when he was reunited with you would be torture.

But when he gets to your place, he doesn’t feel confident enough to act smooth or even touch you. If anything, he wanted to touch your hair. Literally just brush back the strands you missed when you tucked it behind your ear. Finally he musters the courage to stand beside you as you’re getting him some water. You’ve sucked his dick, the least he can do is move your hair. He moves in for the kill…but perhaps a bit too fast, because just as his hand reaches your personal space, you turn your head to look up at him and... receive a cheek full of Vessel knuckles. 

He moves quickly to cup your face, desperate to show you he didn’t mean to whack you, but he’s greeted with a surprised chuckle and your smile. Not that one you put on for friends or staged photos…your real smile. He could die happy right now. Just absolutely melt. If he ever wanted to write true, honest to god love ballads he would think back to this moment. This gooey, gushy feeling. He feels confident, the same confidence the mask gives him, and presses a soft kiss where he accidentally got you.

“Ves…” 

You still smile but he sees something behind your eyes. Vessel keeps his hands on your face…his heart breaking and stomach dropping. He had noticed you weren’t posting regularly on your socials and even then you seemed a bit less animated. He’s learned your tells. There’s smudges from yesterday’s eyeliner that somehow looks effortless but still betrays the fact that you didn’t wash your face last night. In his mind, Vessel likened you to a shrinking violet. The kindest, most gorgeous girl who ever graced him with her presence trying to hide herself away. This wouldn’t do. Even though he didn’t feel like he had the emotional energy for himself…he desperately wanted to be here for you. After the past four weeks of falling down a rabbit hole imagining you as a soft, caring, dominant partner, he suddenly felt needed. He wanted to provide so bad it hurt. 

“What’s the matter, love?”

“I…” your voice cracks and you shake your head. He backs off a bit, letting you have some space. “It’s been a rough few weeks. I’ve…missed you and felt like…a fucking idiot the whole time.”

Vessel nods and takes a drink of his water. “Yeah. Getting laid didn’t fix us, did it?”

You laugh ruefully and cross your arms. “It’s made me worse. How about you?”

“You first.”

You roll your eyes and stretch your neck. Vessel nearly loses his mind at how you bite your lip as you look him up and down. This is what he wants. To be under your gaze. Please. Keep him there. His breath catches. You could tell him to leave right now and he would. But instead, you keep talking. 

“To be completely honest with you, I didn’t think there was anything between us other than like…being friends. So I don’t know what came over me when I just…literally threw myself at you. I shouldn’t have done that. That’s…stupid reckless behavior.” You wring your hands a little and look down. “How can I expect to be taken seriously if I just—“

Vessel puts his hand up. “Stop that.”

“But I’m serious, Vess-“

“I said…’stop that.’ I take you seriously. I’ve always taken you seriously.” Vessel considers you for a moment. While he’d love to take you to bed, he’s desperate to lift you up. To reassure you. “Love, if you think you shouldn’t be taken seriously, imagine how I feel. You could have written me off as a jerk for letting you—“ but Vessel stops himself before he waxes poetic about your blowjob skills and ruins the moment. “I didn’t even follow you after we were done. Call you. Message you directly. After everything…I shouldn’t even have the chance to be with you.”

You shake your head and look down. “I know you’re not after one thing…I know it. But…why can’t I believe it? It’s nothing personal, I swear I just-“

Something deep within propels Vessel to pull you in for a gentle kiss…and to his utter delight you melt right into his touch. You fit so ridiculously perfect in his arms and mesh so well against his lips. He lets out a soft moan right as you break the kiss. Vessel had already been taken with you, but now he was enchanted. “Give me a month. I’ll show you how serious I am about you. It’s not just the sex…I promise.”

Your breath is ragged…you’re overcome with emotion and desire. You nod up at him. “All the time you need…”

“Good girl…” Vessel cocks his head, amused that he just called you that. He meant it in an encouraging way but…if the shoe fits. “Would you like that? To be my good girl?”

Your eyes get a bit dark, but not out of anything malicious. Your chin raises. “Ves…I would be anything you asked me to be. I don’t think you understand what you’ve done to me…” You pause but Vessel can’t even begin to formulate a thought. Were you as borderline obsessive as him? “You shouldn’t be on my mind the way you are. I mean…what are you doing to me? You’ve shown me so much kindness and your own vulnerability…that shouldn’t turn me on. It’s endearing and admirable, sure, but why do I…I just want to take care of you. I’m sorry I just…I feel guilty for…for falling for you because see me and you let me suck you off…I mean…how old are we?”

He’s taken aback a little. Something in your mind is tricking you. “Sweetheart,” he cups your cheek, “if it makes you feel any better, I feel the same. When I saw how down you looked a bit ago…” he shakes his head and sighs, “took everything in me to not start confessing everything just to see you smile. I want you. I want…everything that makes you ‘you.’ And I get the feeling you want the same…right?”

For a long second, you don’t say anything. You stare up at him, glassy eyed. He doesn’t need verbal confirmation. He’s passed that. He’s no longer timid about you. His lips meet yours in an agonizingly slow, tender kiss. Vessel’s hips press you against your kitchen counter, letting you feel his excitement. It wasn’t pure arousal. It was the excitement of being open and honest with each other. The emotional push and pull of comforting you but also receiving your reassurance did things to him. Oh fuck. Oh no. This was love, wasn’t it? Your hands pull at his hips, bringing one of his legs between yours. You moan softly, and he pulls from the kiss.

“Do you think about me at all?” He whispers breathlessly? You moan as his lips ghost your ear. The feeling of your thighs tightening around him makes his cock twitch. He wishes your thighs were around his hips…or even his face. You bite your lip and whine a little as your hips buck involuntarily.

“I think about fucking you on my couch everyday.”

Obviously the next stop is the couch. Vessel sits down and pulls you to straddle him. His kisses become more ravenous. Finally…the girl of his dreams is on him. He’d do anything for you right now, but he wants you a little vulnerable. You, of course, had been pining, too. What’s the harm in being pathetic together? He pulls off your shirt and nearly looses his mind when your soft flesh comes into view. Your precious tummy. Your squishy tits. Fuck. It was all his. “Get your pants off.”

You hop off his lap and do as your told. Vessel just watches and unzips his pants, adjusting them and his boxers to let his cock out. He bites his lip and strokes himself teasingly as he watches you pull off your leggings and panties. Drooling at the sight of your nude legs…the hint of your pussy. He beckons you forward seductively, a little taste of what’s to come once you’re in reach. 

“How wet are you, love?” He asks, letting his fingers dip between your legs. You moan softly as his fingers trail up and down your slit, enjoying the wetness he’s caused. “I don’t even need to help you, do I? Excitable girl. Aren’t you?” All this gets from you is a nod. You’re so gone. He leans back on the couch and pulls you toward him. He’s still completely dressed in his henley and jeans, but you don’t seem to mind. He positions you on his cock and lets you set the pace. He doesn’t know how long it’s been since you’ve been fucked, but he knows to be kind and let you adjust to his size. His eyes roll back and his head thumps against the couch. Something about how your body takes his cock makes his insides melt. You run your fingers through your hair and arch your back as you lower yourself completely on him. “Don’t move…don’t move, love.” He adjusts slightly to bring your chest to his mouth. His soft kisses and kitten licks pepper your breasts, causing your pussy to clench. It feels amazing. He’s being so gentle, but on the inside he wants to ravage you. Even after getting off everyday for a month thinking about you, you still excite Vessel into a frenzy. 

“Oh…oh Ves…” you gasp as he takes your nipple between his lips. You both moan as his cock twitches against your sensitive walls, but he keeps you still, cockwarming as he teases and makes out with your nipples. He shamelessly buries his face in your chest and moans, squeezing your ass to pull you close. Vessel can hardly believe it. You’re finally in his arms, his cock is stuffed inside you, and you want his love just as badly as he wants yours. He pulls his face away from your body to look up at you and whisper.

“You’re my girl now. You know that?” He puts his finger that had touched your pussy in his mouth and sucks, making sure you how see gone he is for you. “Gonna make you so happy…”

Vessel can hardly believe what’s coming out of his mouth, but pussy from someone who accepts you unconditionally will do that to you. He thought he was only built for fleeting infatuations and hooks up. But here he was…making promises he’d sooner die than break. After playfully torturing you with how his cock twitched inside you every time you kissed him or made a little sound, he starts to move your hips.  You look positively angelic on his lap completely naked taking his cock. His eyes roll back and he realizes that whatever half baked fantasy he had about fucking you didn’t prepare him for how good you felt. How warm and safe he’d feel under the weight of your body. It’s almost too much. Not that he’d cum yet. No. He just wants to say stupid things like “I love you;” and “we should move in together;” and “please call me a good boy.” That little submissive voice was still in him. He knew you were responding well to him taking control but he wanted that gentle control from you again. 

“Am…am I good for you?” He rasps out as you steadily grind against him.

“Mhm…so good…you…you like being good?”

Vessel’s eyes roll back and he nods pathetically. “Just for you.” 

You bury your face in the nape of his neck and suck little pink love marks up and down it. He moans with each one, clenching your body impossibly close. “I can’t move when you hold me like that…” you say backing up a little. You take his wrists gently and pin them against the back of the couch. He licks his lips and smiles dreamily. “Oh you’re pathetic, aren’t you?” Your fingers intertwine and he lets out a contented sigh.

“So pathetic…”

“You like being good but you like getting in trouble, too, huh?”

Vessel’s brain is mush. He knows you’re lightly degrading him and he fucking loves it but he has no concept of what’s happening other than “yippee perfect girl is being perfect.” He just nods and lets you fuck him for all he’s worth, cumming when you wrap your dainty hand around his neck. 

Later at what can only be described as a debrief at the pub, you share a large basket of fries. Vessel takes a deep breath as he attempts to act normal after having his mind blown and emotions pulled in all kinds of different directions. “This is good, yeah?”

“The fries?”

“For Christ’s sake…”

“Oh sorry, you mean…us…yeah. This is good. Really good. Are you scared?”

Vessel looks at the table and then at you. Honesty is his only option. “Terrified.”

“Same.”

He ponders for a moment and puts his hand palm up on the table. “Do it scared?”

You plop your hand down on his, “and together.”

“Now about this gig next week. I need to start your lectures on progressive metal-“

“Oh god.”

[lonely-ey3s]

With All My Love: Chapter 8

Chapter 8: The Past is a Bitch

Pairings: joel miller x f!reader (no outbreak)

Word count: 16.1k

Chapter Summary: Joel and you throw a barbeque celebrating your arrival with close family and friends. Tommy and Joel battle how to best help you and Maria with your mental health since being back as there are indications you both are experiencing PTSD. Meanwhile later on, as the party goes on, you and Joel make a bet to keep each other on their toes as you both can't seem to keep your hands off each other.

Chapter warnings: mentions of PTSD (nightmares), panic attacks, physical descriptions of panic attacks, SMUT (18+ MDNI), m!oral, f!oral, f!masterbation, filming yourself while you do some naughty things, filming you and joel while you do fun things, spanish dialogue with translations (joel's family speaks it), FLUFFFFFF, joel being the best and most supportive bf, joel and reader being filthy sluts, reader has long hair, mentions of blood/injury, if I missed anything lmk :)

A/N: i know today's going to be a hard day for some of us as there is a lot of uncertainty and fear with how things are going, with how tik tok magically came back, but is being heavily censored, and there are indications of the next few days being really hard and for some very dangerous. i am here with you, i am just as nervous as you. i doom scrolled on redbook and tik tok too late last night freaking out about what people are seeing and saying - just know that in great numbers we are strong and i'm so proud of how much we are fighting back against corruption and complete ignorance, but i also know the fight isn't close to being over with our corrupt politicians and billionaires but we are using our knowledge from A Bug's Life and not allowing those grasshoppers to control our rights. i love you all, please be safe and stay kind to one another. ❣️ enjoy this chapter, i hope it helps take you somewhere else if you need that for a little while today ✨

Dividers by: @saradika-graphics

Main Masterlist

About an hour later Sarah woke up to hearing Tommy’s laugh and ran downstairs, eager to meet Maria. 

Maria and Sarah got along fast as they both were relentless with Tommy, which was a treat to watch. 

The group of you quickly finished the rest of the list and prepared for the party a couple of hours from now. 

Tommy and Joel went out in the back to set up some chairs and start rotating the ribs on the smoker. Sarah was outside as well finishing up with some last-second decorations, making sure everything looked to her satisfaction. 

You and Maria were finishing up the inside, making sure everything was ready to go to either be baked or put out. Maria turned to you, “I heard you ran into Captain Williams in the airport when you got back, how was that?” she said softly. 

You shrugged, “It was good to see him, he seems like a kind man, and glad we got him back safe. His wife was a blubbering mess… huggin’ me like I dragged him from the depths of hell… it was a little overwhelming.” you chuckled, and shook your head. 

“I mean, if it was either of us in his place, those two would have been the same way, worshipping whoever brought us home, ya know? Love changes people…” she nods out to the boys, who you both know would move heaven and earth for you and your safety.

You nodded and smiled looking outside at Joel, “It does…” You looked back at the ranch dressing you were making, “I guess it still hasn’t hit me I have someone like that in some moments, you know? I’m just so used to bein’ on my own…” 

Maria nodded, and hummed, “Speaking of, have you heard from him since being back? Charlie?” 

You shook your head, and scoffed “No… I wasn’t in North Carolina for more than a few hours before Joel and I left for Austin. He had no time to even run into me. I didn’t even get my car.” you tsked and chuckled, “Knowing him though, the piece of shit probably already found it and stole it, who knows…” you put a small spoon in the ranch and did a taste test then adjusted the seasonings. 

“I uh.. I saw him when I got in town… he luckily had no idea who I was, you know… but he looked like shit, someone beat the shit out of him it looked like...” Maria said as she started to lay out paper plates and silverware. 

You didn’t even react, feeling numb to him now, “Hmm, he probably owed money to someone and they beat him for not paying it back.” you put a lid on the ranch and put it in the fridge. 

Maria shrugged, “Well karma came back and that’s all I’ll say about him.” she looked over and smiled at you. 

You smiled softly and nodded, “Agreed… karma.” you looked down at the list and saw you still needed to prep the burger patties. 

Maria got a text and looked over at you then cleared her throat, “Can I ask you somethin’ and you not get butt hurt or mad?” she looked your way, nervous about what she was about to bring up. 

You looked at her from the counter, confused by her question, “Umm sure…” you chuckled not thinking anything of it. 

She let out a small sigh, “What happened this morning?” 

You looked at her, confused about what she meant, “I… what do you mean?” you smiled softly then looked back at the hamburger meat you were prepping. 

“I… I’ll just be honest… Joel’s worried about you… told Tommy you were up early with a bad dream… Tommy asked I check on you.” she turned back to put napkins down. 

You shook your head, “It’s nothin’... I mean you know the shit we saw… bad dreams, they are normal.” you blew off the question, not wanting to dive deeper than that. 

“Y/N… it’s somethin’ when you can’t go back to sleep.” she turned back to you. 

You scoffed, “Maria, it was nothin’... I should have just gone back to sleep… I just…” you clenched your jaw.

“You couldn’t unsee what you saw…” she cut you off. 

You took a breath and looked down at the counter, “It was Z…” you cleared your throat, “I see his body… everywhere… in my dreams… I… last night was just a bad one…” you looked up at her, with sadness in your eyes.

She set down the rest of the napkins and came over and sat on the island next to where you were standing, “I can’t imagine what you saw, what you went through when he died… that’s something you carry that I can’t know or fathom… which means in ways… you’re alone in that trauma…” she looked down as she fiddled with her cuticles, “We both saw, did and went through some fucked up shit over there… it’s normal to you know… deal with some level of trauma.” she looked at you, “I just… I don’t want you to be someone who shoves it down and stays quiet and then it consumes you.” 

She was right, you were notorious for that. Avoidance. When you got to camp, you talked about Charlie once and then never again with her, but she could tell it still impacted you but you never brought it up, and when she tried you’d change the subject. She wasn’t dumb or ignorant and you knew that, but she respected how you weren’t ready to talk and just let it be. However, with this, you both knew how horrible a soldier's mental health could plummet when getting back home, especially if you have PTSD. You were told of the statistics all the time of suicide, self-harm, and alcoholism/drug abuse, drilled during seminars and training. You weren’t ignorant, but you thought you could just avoid it by not talking about it. However, Maria wouldn’t let you do that, and you had a feeling neither would Joel - as he most likely went through it with Tommy at one point when he got home.

“What are you suggestin’ I do then?” you sighed and leaned against the counter. 

“Talk to your boyfriend, let him in… or hell join a group like I’m going to do once I settle here…” she said nudging you with her leg, trying to get you out of your stubbornness. 

You sighed and nodded, “I’ll try…” 

Maria smiled softly and nodded, “That’s all I can ask of you…” 

You nodded and then looked at the time, “Wanna help me get ready?” you smiled, “Help keep Joel off me so this thing starts on time?” you chuckled.

“So they are the same… handsy and horny motherfuckers…” Maria chuckled as she hopped off the counter and headed upstairs with you as you both giggled. 

Joel and Tommy stood outside while you and Maria talked inside, putting chairs and things out from the shed. 

Joel seemed a little disconnected, he felt something was going on with you since this morning but hadn’t got a moment alone with you to check on you. He saw your mood instantly switch when Maria got there, but he knew something happened last night and he wanted to make sure you knew you could reach out to him, he didn’t want you feeling that the nightmares or trauma he knows you went through was going to be too much for him to handle, he wanted to be involved, to be a comfort, he just didn’t know how to help you see that. 

Tommy nudged his arm, “Where’s your thoughts at lover boy?” he chuckled. 

Joel smiled softly and then swallowed softly and cleared his throat, “Did you ever… what happened when you got home? Where was your head?” he asked softly, careful so Sarah didn’t overhear. 

Tommy looked at him concerned, “What happened?” 

Joel shrugged, “I’m not sure, I found out she had a bad dream and had been up for hours right before you came through my front door.” he chuckled sadly. 

Tommy nodded, and unfolded a chair, “Nightmares are common with PTSD, Joel.” he sighed softly. “I had ‘em when I got back. Bad ones… woke up in cold sweats or panic attacks. I’d hide in the closet for weeks after, couldn’t sleep by a window…” he chuckled and shook his head, “Took mama tellin’ me to get my head outta my culo (ass) and get some help.” 

Joel looked at Tommy, shocked, he had no idea it was that bad for him, “What did you do?” 

Tommy smiled, “I went to a local group… then they had me see a therapist, which I saw for about a year.” he took another chair out of the shed, “Maria is going to go to a group once she settles here, maybe she’ll convince Y/N to join her.” 

Joel started to dust off some of the chairs, “Has Maria been struggling?” 

Tommy nodded, “Loud noises are hard for her, she about had a panic attack in the airport… she also deals with guilt, from what she’s told me, they dealt with a lot of death, some they couldn’t help but some part of them blames themselves for not doing enough… I’d be surprised if Y/N doesn’t struggle with that… especially with what happened to Z.” he helped dust off the table and then got his phone out and texted Maria what happened and to reach out to you. 

Joel nodded, “I know Z hits her often, she just won’t talk about it, you know?” he sighed, feeling helpless when it came to these things. 

“I understand. There are just some things they won’t tell us… they think it’ll be too much you know?” he shrugged, “That’s how I felt at least… felt you already had enough on your plate with Rachelle leavin’ and Sarah bein’ a baby, handlin’ her all on your own. I felt guilty for even strugglin’ when you had that goin’ on.” he looked over at Joel. 

Joel looked at him sadly, he would have done anything for Tommy, “I would burn the world for you brother, I’m always here, especially for you.” He touched Tommy’s shoulder. 

Tommy nodded and smiled, “I know… but my younger, stupid, immature, and cocky post-deployment self - didn’t want to believe it.”

They both chuckled and nodded. 

“If it helps… I just let Maria know what happened, and she’ll try to reach out to her, and I’ll let you know what Maria finds out, in case it’ll help you.” he smiled softly, “We gotta stick together with these two, you know?” 

Joel chuckled and nodded, “We’ve got our hands full with them, don’t we?” looking your and Maria’s way. 

Tommy nodded, “I believe we do…” and softly chuckled as he nudged his brother's arm. 

You went upstairs and changed with Maria, she brought a change of clothes as she and Tommy were planning on staying the night and hanging out with you and Joel afterward. 

You had picked out another one of the sun dresses that Joel had in the closet for you, again aiming for comfort but also a part of you wanted to drive him mad all night. You came out of the bathroom and used some body shimmer sunscreen lotion to make your skin glow, Maria saw you and chuckled, “You are evil…” She shook her head as he also had a sundress on but yours was particularly a tease. “Joel is going to be drooling over you all night long…” she got up from the bed, putting on some earrings and last-minute touches to her makeup. 

You looked at yourself in the mirror and smiled cheekily, “I know…” you looked back at her, “Gotta keep him on his toes.” you sprayed yourself with some perfume and then smiled, “Ready to make some jaws drop?” 

She chuckled and nodded, “Oh yes please!” she straightened herself up as well and then you both walked downstairs, both of the brothers getting the grill ready out on the back patio. 

You and Maria both grabbed some towels that needed to go outside for the kids who were going to play in the pool. Then opened the screen door and walked out together. 

Joel and Tommy both were taking swigs of their beers when you both walked out and coughed up their drinks and then immediately followed you and Maria’s bodies as you moved, eyes glued to your curves and how insatiable you both looked. 

“Hey guests are gonna start arriving here in about 20 minutes, ya’ll need to go freshen up?” Maria asked, paying no mind to Tommy’s reaction. 

You walked by as well, and looked at Sarah, “Sarah, wanna help me with the food inside?” 

Sarah came over and nodded, “What do we need to do?” she zoned in, excited to help. 

You looked at Joel, and smiled sweetly, innocently, “Hup too cowboy, go change…” nodded your head upstairs then you went back inside with Sarah. 

Maria followed and closed the door after, both of you smirking as you walked. 

Joel and Tommy both stood there, blood rushing to the right place at the wrong time, smirking and in a daze from you both. 

Tommy cleared his throat, “That… that’s our girlfriend’s, right? We weren’t just graced by god herself, yeah?” still in somewhat shock. 

Joel chuckled nodding, “Cheeky devils those two…” he bit his lip and nudged his brother, “Come on…” he put his beer down and walked inside, closing the door behind him not waiting for Tommy. 

���Hey baby, can I have your help upstairs pickin’ out an outfit to match that…” he cleared his throat seeing Sarah turn around and smile innocently at him, “...beautiful dress you’re wearin’...?” he looked at you and nodded his head towards the stairs, biting his lip eagerly. 

You smirked and came over and pecked his lips, “Two steps ahead of you cowboy, laid out an outfit for you on the bed already…” You winked and continued to walk past him, getting the mac and cheese in the fridge to put in the oven. 

Joel watched your hips as you walked and chuckled lowly, “Oh did ya now?” 

You nodded and looked back at him, “Yes baby, from hat to boot, I got you…” you smiled sweetly and then bent over to put the mac and cheese in. Your thong outline showed through your dress just enough to make Joel’s cock harden immediately. He clears his throat and quickly moves to stand against the counter, “Baby?” his voice cracks slightly. 

Maria snorts and tries not to laugh so she turns it into a cough, “Sorry, my throat is dry…” She takes a swig of her beer, trying not to lose her shit at Joel’s behavior. 

You knew exactly what you were doing, and you felt so empowered by it, you loved making him like putty, so easy to make melt. 

You stood and closed the oven, turning towards him, “Yes sweetheart?” you smiled and put the oven mitts on the stove. 

Sarah came up to you, “Where does this go?” you smiled at her and then looked at Joel and smirked.

He shook his head and clenched his jaw, narrowing his eyes, mouthing ‘Don’t you dare…I need you…now…’ knowing exactly what you’re about to do to him. 

‘I’ll pay for it later.’ you thought. 

You wink at Joel and then look back down to Sarah, “Here, let me show you sweetheart...” you walk with her towards the back door and purposely walk by Joel so that your perfume would waft his way. You open the screen door and look back, “Maria can you help me with somethin’ out here too?” then look at Joel, and blow him a kiss as you three walk out to the yard. 

Joel chuckles and scoffs, biting his lip, “Oh that’s it. Game on.” he said and ran upstairs to change into something he knew would drive you crazy. 

You had laid out a nice cream-colored button-up and dark wash jeans with a tan-colored cowboy hat you found in his closet. 

However, he was playing chess, not checkers as he came down in a dark brown button-up with his sleeves rolled up a little, exposing the veins in his arms, dark wash jeans with a nice belt, and black Stetson hat, with his nice cowboy boots. You had a thong on to be his temptation, so he had a tight-fitting black tee on that form fitted him in every delicious way possible under this button-up that he’d use as his discretion throughout the day to drive you just as mad as he’ll be with you and that dress. 

You were in the kitchen with Maria, laying out the food on the table, when you turned and saw him, immediately feeling the heat pool between your thighs. He clocked you, made immediate eye contact, and smirked. The two of you having this nonverbal conversation between the two of you. You bit the inside of your cheek and raised your eyebrow at him, cocking your head to the side signaling ‘Well played’ and you pursed your lips together and then smirked back, shaking your hands out to gather your composure, before clearing your throat softly, “You look handsome cowboy…” you came up and kissed his cheek before walking behind him and gathering the platter of hamburger patties, “Can you start on these, handsome?” you held up the platter but pushed your elbows together and up to accentuate your cleavage when going to hand him the patties. 

He bit his lip and looked at you, his cock starting to get hard again, he knew exactly what you were doing. He let out a small chuckle, “Of course my love” he bit out of pure frustration, gently taking the platter from you. 

He went to go outside, but Sarah came in and saw him and smiled, “Well don’t you look pretty…” she said looking him up and down, giggling. 

“Shut up…” Joel chuckled before stepping outside. 

Sarah shut the door and you and Mariah let out a laugh, Sarah joining in, “What’s his problem?” 

You smiled and chuckled, “I think he’s a little… hangry…” you lied for her innocence. 

Mariah said under her breath, “You mean horny…” 

You nudged her and she chuckled.

Sarah nodded, “Yeah, he’s such a drama queen sometimes…” she sighed and smiled, “Anythin’ else need to go outside?” she asked softly. 

You shook your head, “I think we are good, do you need to change?” you smiled at her as you laid out the veggie tray. 

She nodded, “I’ll be quick!” she ran upstairs and shut her door to change. 

Maria nudged you, and chuckled, “Joel’s playing fire with fire…” She winked at you and nodded towards him. 

“Yeah… I know. What the fuck… he looks fucking…” you sighed frustrated and chuckled to yourself, leaning towards the counter, looking down to gather what you said next in case Sarah could hear, “god damn he’s good in that damn hat.” you looked up and rolled your shoulders, and then your head side to side, “What a menace…” clearly just as sexually pent up as Joel.

Maria chuckled and Tommy came in, he had changed as well and also looked very handsome, you smiled, “Lookin’ sharp Miller…” You nodded towards him. 

Tommy chuckled, now cooled down and even headed, “You two started it… with those damn… dresses…” he looked at Maria up and down, eyes hungry. 

You cleared your throat, breaking his gaze, “Reginald, eyes forward… there’s a child upstairs.” you scoffed jokingly and chuckled as you walked past him to take a beer to Joel outside. 

You opened the screen door and came up behind Joel, “You seem a little thirsty cowboy… need a drink?” you smirked seeing him turn his ear towards you and chuckle lowly. 

He flipped a few burgers then closed the grill, turned towards you, and gently grabbed you by your waist, pulling you against him, growling lowly, “Mmm baby… I need somethin’ else to satisfy my thirst…” he looked at our lips, eyes blown with lust. 

You chuckled and touched his cheek softly, “I’m afraid that’s not an option on the menu this afternoon…” you leaned up and kissed him gently. 

You went to pull back when he captured your lips again and kissed you slower and deeper, and then whispered against your lips, “You’re always on the menu baby…” 

You bit your lip and quickly kissed him again, then pulled away, “Mmm as are you, cowboy…” 

He reached back for your lips, hand slipping down to cup your ass, you put your finger on his lips, “Mmm nice try, not so fast…” you gently pushed away and grinned, “I wanna play a little game with you tonight… I have some rules…” you bit your lip, “I wanna see how long the other can last as we are clearly playing sexual tension chess…” you chuckled, “...the winner gets to choose what happens when everyone goes home… and where… it happens…” you smirked as you saw that piqued his interest, you gathered that Joel might like risky location sex which was something that made you a little nervous, “You interest?” you tilted your head and put your hands behind your back, cutely. 

He nodded and smirked, “Go on, what are the rules darlin’?”

You stepped one step back to explain without distractions, “Rule 1, no funny business kisses.”

Joel bit his lip and chuckled, “Easy. Next…” 

“Rule 2, while we are with or around others, no gawking… if the other person catches the other… automatic loss.” you smiled at him, “In other words, we can gawk, just not get caught by each other.” 

Joel nodded and grinned, leaning against the grill, taking a swig of the beer, “That’ll be a fun one…” 

“Lastly, rule 3, dirty talk is free game, but… no touching… only thing we can do is hold hands.” you cocked your head challenging him. 

He stood up and scoffed, “No touching? How… I…” 

You smirked, “Ready to throw in the towel?” you raised your eyebrow. 

Joel clenched his teeth and let out a breath, his competitive side being poked. He grinned, and rolled his shoulders, chuckling, “Ok… you’re on. Deal.” 

You smiled and chuckled at his reaction, “Before we start, is there anythin’ you need to get out of your system?” tilting your head innocently at him.

He nodded and immediately swarmed you, taking your cheeks in his hands, smirking against your lips, “Oh god yes, one funny business kiss…” 

You giggled against his lips and put your hands on his chest, pulling him in by his shirt as he leaned in and kissed you slowly and deeply once, then he went to pull away, “Mmm wait, one more for good luck…” you pulled him back and he chuckled and kissed you once more, humming against your lips and then slowing pulling away, keeping his eyes closed, lingering close to you. 

You stayed like that for a few moments before hearing the doorbell ring and then giggling, “Let the games begin!” you pulled away and walked towards the screen door, holding out your hand for him to take, “You comin’...?” you opened the screen door and waited for him. 

He bit his lip and chuckled, “God I love you…” he grabbed your hand and walked with you to the front door. Tommy saw him come inside and traded places with him, taking over the grill so he could greet the guests. 

Joel opened the front door and was greeted by two older gentlemen, “Hey! We brought booze!” Frank said excitedly and stepped inside, giving Joel a pat on the arm. 

“You must be the famous Y/N that Joel hasn’t shut up about!” Frank winked at Joel and hugged you, kissing your cheek gently, “It’s so lovely to meet you!

Bill stepped in after Frank and grumbled, “I also brought a couple of pies…” 

Joel chuckled and let go of your hand, “Here Bill, let me get those for you…” he grabbed two pies from Bill's hands, kissing your cheek softly, “I’ll go put these in the kitchen…” 

You instantly remembered who these two were from Joel mentioning them a few times over Skype, “Oh my gosh, you’re the famous Bill and Frank! Joel’s told me so much about you! I am so happy you are here!” you hugged Bill and kissed his cheek softly, after letting go of Frank, “Come! Grab some food! Tommy is manning the grill so go get a burger too.” you smiled sweetly grabbing their arms and walking between them to the kitchen. 

Maria smiled and came over to greet them too. 

The doorbell rang again and Joel looked over at you immediately and smiled. He reached for your hand, and the both of you greeted guest after guest like this, together. 

About an hour later the house and yard were full of people, most were either long-time friends of the Miller brothers, family friends, or neighbors of Joel’s. 

You and Joel were in the kitchen, both corned by different people. 

You were corned by Mrs. Rose, she kept telling you stories of Joel when Sarah was little, although they were adorable and you loved hearing how great of a dad he is and was when Sarah was smaller, you felt you were drowning and needed a lifeline of some sort. 

Joel was corned by Frank, he kept asking the obvious questions, how were things going, had you guys talked about you moving in, all of the usual gossip topics Frank loved to discuss. 

You both heard the doorbell and like a god-given blessing, both excused yourselves. 

You chuckled as you both met in the entryway, “Mrs. Rose can talk, can’t she?” you joked and it made Joel laugh a deep hearty laugh, “You have no idea my love…”, and Joel opened the door, and turned his attention to see who was there, his face instantly turned to a shocked expression, “Mama?” 

A beautiful older woman stood on the front step, “I’m so sorry I’m late mijo… traffic was horrible!” she reached in and grabbed Joel by the cheeks, pinching them gently, and kissed him on the cheek then hugged him quickly, pushing her way inside, on a mission, “I brought empanadas… they are in car, tú o tu hermano tendréis que ir a buscarlos.” (You or your brother will need to go get them.)

Joel chuckled and kept a hold of your hand as you were now hidden behind his back, hugging her with the other arm, “Mama, Tommy said you couldn’t come, said you had something come up?” 

His mom pulled away, glared at him like he was crazy, and tsked as she slapped his arm softly, “Traes a una chica a casa, cambio mis planes, mi amor.”  (You bring a girl home, I move my plans around, my love.) 

You smiled from behind Joel, understanding every word she was saying as you took Spanish in high school. 

Joel blushed and smiled, then nodded, lightly chuckling. 

She looked around eagerly, not seeing you were behind Joel's figure as she had kept you guys in a tight space, “¿Bien? ¿Dónde está ella?” (Well? Where is she?)

Joel smiled lovingly at his mom and then moved aside slightly, “Mama this is Y/N…” 

You peeked out and smiled brightly, shyly tucking a strand of hair behind your ear, “Hello Mrs. Miller… it’s so lovely to meet you…” you held out your hand. 

She lightly gasped and held out her arms, “Cariño... ella es hermosa!” (Honey… she is beautiful) then she pulled you in for a gentle hug, “You must call me Elena, mi querida…” (my darling) she pulled back and put your face in her hands, “Come… we must talk.” she grabbed your hand and started to walk with you. 

You chuckled and looked back at Joel as she practically dragged you with her, smiling warmly and mouthing, ‘You didn’t tell me your mom was coming!’. 

He chuckled and shrugged then winked and watched, “I’ll go get the empanadas, mama!” and he left out the front door. 

She waved her hand to dismiss him and tsked, focused on getting somewhere to talk to you. 

Elena whisked you through the kitchen and out onto the patio, humming happily to herself, clearly on a mission. 

Tommy saw his mother weaving through the ground, you clocked his eyeline and nodded your head towards the kitchen as that was where Maria was. He nodded and knew exactly what you were saying, ‘You need to give her a heads up.’ 

“Uh… Mrs. Mi- I mean Elena… can I get you something to eat or drink?” you smiled down at her as you walked. 

She smiled and gasped, finding two lawn chairs, “¡Perfecta!, we must sit here!” she sat in one, and you sat in the other. 

You softly chuckled, “I must be honest ma’am, I didn’t know you were coming, I would have set you up a shaded area aside.” you looked at her softly. 

She waved you off softly, “¡Disparates!” (Nonsense!) “No need for that, I’m an old woman, but not one that needs special treatment, si?” she smiled warmly at you. 

You nodded, “Yes ma’am.” you looked down shyly, messing with the hem of your dress. 

She reached over and put a hand over yours, “Tell me… how does my son treat you, hmm? Le enseñé a adorar el suelo que pisas, ¿verdad?” (I taught him to worship the ground you walk on, is he?)

You blushed and continued to look down at your hands, then looked up at her, “He treats me like gold…” you smiled brightly “You raised a good man… he… I…” you looked back down at your hands and let out a small chuckle, “I love him very much, ma’am.”

She smiled and gently squeezed your hand, “He loves you more than I think he’s loved anything but that darling granddaughter he gave me.” 

You looked at her and smiled, “Sarah… she’s… I also love her, she’s so kind… smart…” you chuckled, “... she’s so funny… she’s such a good human. Joel… he’s a good dad.” you looked over at Sarah, playing in the pool with her friends, “She’s everything to me as well. I can’t express how much those two were my drive while over there ma’am… they got me out of a lot of shi-” you cleared your throat, and looked at her apologetically, “stuff…” 

She laughed softly, “You don’t need to tell me, I heard the stories of what you went through…” She looked at you sadly, “I was told you had a little boy… lamento tu perdida.” (I’m sorry for your loss) 

You teared up at Z being called your little boy and looked down sadly, a tear falling on your dress, without thinking responded, “Gracias, aprecio tus amables palabras.” (Thank you, I appreciate your kind words.) 

She gasped, “¿Tú hablas español?" (You speak Spanish?) She looked at you excitedly. 

You looked up, eyes wide, Joel didn’t know you spoke it, you wanted to keep it a bit of a secret, but then chuckled and shook your head seeing her reaction, this meant a lot to her that you spoke in her native tongue. 

“Sí, pero no tan buena como tú, estoy segura.” (Yes, but not as good as you, I'm sure.) you chuckled and winked. 

She laughed, “No, you speak it very well! Oh gracias a Dios…” (Oh thank goodness)

You chuckled and then saw Tommy and Maria heading your way, Maria in her head, looking nervous, “Here, let me go grab you a plate and drink, I’ll be back…” You nodded towards Tommy and stood up, squeezing her hand and smiling as you let go of her hand before passing by the pair of them, whispering to Maria, “She’s going to love you… just breathe.” then walking towards the screendoor. 

You made it into the kitchen and started to gather a plate of things you thought she might like, Joel came in and smiled with a bag of ice over his shoulder, “You got away…” he chuckled and came over, kissing your cheek gently, hovering his hand behind the small of your back, careful not to touch you, he smirked, “How’d it go darlin’?” then walked over to dump it in a bucket you had for beers and soda’s to put outside. 

You smiled and continued to collect food for her, “I think it went well… she’s very sweet. I think she liked the element of surprise though… catching us off guard.” you chuckled. 

Joel nodded, “Yeah, she likes keeping everyone on their toes.” he softly laughed. 

You looked up and smirked a little, “No mencionaste que tu familia hablaba español, mi amor…” (You didn't mention your family spoke Spanish, my love…)

Joel flipped his head around, and his eyes went wide, “You speak Spanish?” 

You chuckled at his reaction and nodded, “Not as well as your mom or you, but yes, yes I do.” you beamed and looked back down at the plate you were collecting. “Took 3 years in high school…” 

Joel grinned and bit his lip then came over and hovered behind you, careful not to touch you but close enough to know he’d drive you crazy, saying lowly, making his voice vibrate against you as he said, “Veo. Así que puedes entenderme cuando digo que eres una niña traviesa por usar esa tanga, ¿no?” (I see. So you can understand me when I say that you are a naughty girl for wearing that thong, right?)

You bit your lip and grinned, goosebumps spreading down your body, heat pooling between your legs again and your cheeks blushing, “Si, mi amor…” (Yes, my love) you said then turned around, careful not to touch him, and looked up at him, “Lo que significa que me entiendes cuando digo que espero usar ese sombrero mientras te monto esta noche…” (Which means you understand me when I say that I expect to wear that hat while riding you tonight…)

Joel smirked down at you, and leaned his hands against the counter to corner you in, “You have no idea how hot it is to hear that come out of your mouth baby…” he leaned in close to your ear, saying lowly, with hunger in his voice. 

Your eyes fluttered closed and you took a deep breath, feeling yourself flutter around nothing at your core. 

You looked at him up and down, slowly grinning, then made eye contact with him “Eso no es lo único que mi boca puede hacer, ¿verdad, vaquero?” (That's not the only thing my mouth can do, is it cowboy?) 

Joel let out a shaky breath, his cock starting to get hard again thinking about what you did to him with your mouth yesterday.

You bit your lip, leaned up, and kissed his cheek softly, “Excuse me mi amor…” you gently used the water bottle you were holding to move his arm to get out of his hold, carefully, not to break any rules before walking back outside, smirking to yourself, leaving him speechless against the counter. 

You walked over to Joel’s mom, she was still talking with Tommy and Maria, all of them laughing about something. 

You softly came up to her and gently touched her shoulder, “Here you go, ma’am…” 

She looked up at you and smiled, taking the plate, “Oh you’re too kind! Gracias…” She looked at Tommy, “Mijo, will you go find your brother?” she nodded towards the house and smiled sweetly. 

Tommy got up from his chair and came over and kissed her cheek, “Of course mama…” he reached back for Maria to come with. His mom shook her head, “No… let her stay here, rest her feet. I’m sure these two have been on them all day.” she smiled at the two of you. 

You came and sat by Maria in Tommy’s chair, gently touching her knee, smiling down at her. 

Maria smiled and nodded at Tommy, “I’ll be ok, she won’t bite baby…” she giggled.

Tommy nodded and leaned down, kissing Maria’s head, “I’ll be back.” he said before walking away to find Joel. 

“So tell me, girls, how have you been since being back?” she took a bite of a carrot stick. 

You looked back at Maria and smiled then nodded towards Mrs. Miller, “For the most part I think we’ve been doing pretty ok. I think it's setting in we are home…” you looked at Maria and she nodded then looked down shyly. 

“Yeah, I agree.” she said softly. 

Elena looked at you both and tsked, “Se honesta conmigo… por favor…” (Be honest with me, please) she sadly looked between you both, knowing you were both putting up a brave face. 

Maria bit the inside of her cheek and sighed softly, “I’m having a hard time being in busy enclosed areas… like the airport was hard.” she admitted. 

You looked at her and gently took her hand in support, “I’m… loud sudden noises I’ve noticed get me. But I’ve also been having flashbacks when sleeping.” you looked down at your hand holding Maria’s and clenched your jaw, feeling frustrated by this, sighing to let it go. 

Elena reached over and took your hand, “Talk to my boys… please. They’ll want to help… want to… solidaria.” (be supportive) She looked at you both with pleading eyes. 

Maria nodded, “Tommy is going to get me into a group locally when I get settled here… said it helped him.” she smiled softly. 

Elena nodded, “Yes, the group was his saving grace.” she sighed sadly, “He felt… uhm… como dices… culpable?” (guilty) 

You nodded, “He felt guilty for putting it on anyone but himself…” you looked at the ground and nodded, “I think that’s how I feel… don’t want to burden Joel with the hell we saw… went through…” you shook your head and tears started to cloud your vision. 

Elena squeezed your hand, “No eres una carga para luchar. Por tener dificultades para comprender y superar lo que pasó.” (You are not a burden for struggling. For having a hard time understanding and moving past what you went through.) 

Maria looked at you, needing translation.

“We aren’t burdens…” you looked at her sadly. 

Elena saw Tommy and Joel starting to walk towards you all from the back door, she looked at them both and nodded, smiling softly, signaling for them to give her a moment more. Both stopped and understood, and got pulled into a conversation with Bill, asking who made the mac and cheese. 

Joel focused on you, smiling softly at the sight of you and his mom together before turning his head towards Bill, explaining it was your recipe.

Elena looked back at you and Maria and reached her other hand for Maria to take, Maria moved in her chair closer and took her hand. She looked at you both and smiled softly, tearing up, “You… both… make my two boys very happy. Ellos viven para ti ahora…” (They both live for you now.) She gripped your hands a little tighter, “Let them take care of you, and give them the chance to help you when you… como decir… struggle?” she didn’t know if she used the right word. 

You smiled and nodded, “We understand… and we will…” You let go of Maria’s hand to wipe a few tears that escaped. 

Elena smiled and nodded, shaking your hands softly, “Bien…” 

You looked at Maria and leaned our head against her, offering her comfort, she chuckled as some tears escaped as well, and she wiped them as well with her free hand. 

You saw Sarah climb out of the pool, “Abuelita!” and grab a towel, running over to her, smiling. 

Elena smiled brightly, “Mi hermosa niña!” she stood from her chair and put her plate down, opening her arms to embrace Sarah. 

Sarah ran over and hugged her tightly, smiling from ear to ear. 

You stood up and looked down at Maria, “I’m going to go grab myself a plate now that everyone’s settled in, you need anything?” 

Maria smiled and shook her head, “I’m good thanks.” 

You nodded and then walked back inside, closing the door behind you, grabbing a plate, and looking to see what was left. 

Frank came in, “There you are! I’ve been waiting for Elena to let you go…” he chuckled. 

You looked up and smiled, “You need somethin’ sweetie?” you asked kindly, starting to put things on your plate.  

Frank shook his head and smiled, “No… not exactly, I just wanted to talk to you more. Get to know you more. Joel… well… he won’t shut up about you, but I’d like to talk to you, get to know you from… you.” he chuckled and got a beer from the counter.

You smiled, “Won’t shut up about me? I’m flattered…” you chuckled. 

Frank sat down at one of the barstools and watched you fill your plate up, “Joel he’s… he’s different. He’s not so grumpy since meeting you.” he chuckled. 

You looked up at Frank, “Joel? My Joel, grumpy?” you tsked and then chuckled, “He can be a bit closed up I’ve noticed, especially with Mrs. Rose…” you chuckled, “... but I can’t imagine him being grumpy…” You smiled to yourself as you grabbed a cucumber slice and took a bite.

“Well that’s Rose for ya, she’ll know the color of your underwear if you’re not careful with what you do and say around her…” he chuckled, “Which by the way, from one gay guy to a woman with a rockin’ body, you played with fire today…” he nodded towards your ass and you turned bright red. 

“Shit, you can see?” you all of a sudden got embarrassed. 

“Honey, every man within an eye shot and a cock between his legs can see you’re either not wearin’ anythin’ or what you are, is very very small…” he winked and laughed softly, taking a swig of his beer, “Joel keeps tellin’ his coworkers to keep their eyes forward and that you’re to be respected… he’s a very possessive man of what’s his.” 

You blushed and couldn’t hide the smile that stretched across your face, “What’s funny is we have this thing goin’ on and h-…” You stopped talking, realizing you were about to dive into this sex bet you and Joel were doing pretty much a stranger. 

Frank leaned forward and whispered, “Sweetheart, I’ve seen your thong, we are well past the ‘new person’ manners and decorum, finish the damn sentence…” he chuckled. 

You blushed and tucked a hair behind your ear, “Ok… fine.” you chuckled and leaned forward too, “We have this bet going on that we can’t… gawk at each other when the other person can see… and we can’t touch each other except for holding hands… so he’s most likely…” you bit your lip and then took another bite of the cucumber, “... a little frustrated if you catch my drift.” you looked at him grinning. 

Frank took a swig, “I like you… you’re fun!” he chuckled and then grabbed your hand, “Come on, we’ve got loads to talk about.” he took you back outside and sat with you on the patio swing. 

The both of you sat and talked for what seemed like hours, the sun had started to set and a few people left, but there was still a majority of the group sticking around, enjoying good food and company.

Joel came over and sat next to you, putting his hand on yours and his arm around the back of the swing, “There you are, I’ve been looking for you...” he kissed your hand softly then cheek then looked at Frank, “Frank that wine you brought, my mom wants to know where ya’ll got it from… it was really good.” he leaned and smiled at Frank.

You smiled against him, gently squeezing his hand when he settled in by you. 

Frank smiled, “Oh I have another bottle in the car, I’ll just give it to her… we got it when we traveled to France a few months ago, and had a crate mailed to us.” he stood up, “I’ll go grab it and be right back.” he set his beer down on the ground and then left to go inside. 

Joel kissed your cheek again once it was just you two, “I’ve missed you… I’ve felt I’ve not seen you much as we’ve been pulled separate ways every damn time I get near ya my love.” 

You smiled and adjusted yourself to look at him better, “I’ve missed you too…” you kissed him softly once then pecked his lips once more. 

He sat back and smiled down at you, “Are we breakin’ any rules by doing this? I’d hate to call a forfeit…” he chuckled softly, rubbing his thumb against your hand softly. 

You shook your head and giggled lightly, “No… we can have this. This is nice… nothin’ can be funny business when I’m sitting and swingin’ with you handsome.” you leaned your head against his shoulder and you two swung softly. 

Joel gently kissed the top of your head and sat with you peacefully. 

A few moments went by then Tommy came over, “Hey you two lovebirds…” he smiled and stood with his hip popped out like he wanted something. 

You smiled at Tommy, “Everything ok?” 

He nodded, “Yeah, can I just borrow Joel for a little bit? Bill wants some help with somethin’ on his truck. We just need a ‘nother set of hands.” he smiled down at you.

You nodded and smiled, “Yeah, of course.” you took your head off his shoulder and kissed his cheek, “I’ll just wait here…” 

Joel turned his head and kissed you softly, then stood up, “We gettin’ dirty?” he looked at Tommy. Tommy nodded, “Most likely… he needs undercarriage help” 

Joel nodded and started to unbutton his button-down, and then took it off, unveiling the tight black tee he was wearing under which was tucked in and had a nice buckled belt on which made him look even more delicious.

The tee exposed his broad shoulders, and thick muscular biceps, roped down with veins that bulged when he flexed to slide out of the button-up. Once taken off, he set it over his shoulder and took off his hat briefly, running his hands through his hair to push it back before putting it back on his head. 

Your jaw hung open and your eyes filled with not one ounce of anything appropriate at that moment. This - this was his thong, the bastard. 

Frank came out before Joel turned around to kiss you. He saw your face and how you were gawking, so he cleared his throat loudly, snapping you out of your daze before Joel saw, saving your ass in this cruel bet you both agreed to. 

You blushed and turned to Frank, he smirked, “I’m going to run this over to Mrs. Miller then I’ll be right back.” he walked towards that area of the yard, wine bottle in hand. 

Joel looked down at you, smirking, “You were gawking weren’t you?” he leaned down, chuckling, gently kissing your lips. 

You smiled against his lips, “I don’t know what you’re talkin’ about cowboy.” you gently flicked the brim of his hat and winked before kissing him gently once more. 

He pulled back, “I’ll be back, don’t go far darlin’…” he smiled at you and walked out with Tommy to Bill and his truck. 

Joel and Tommy went out to the driveway and started helping Bill with something regarding his suspension, all of them getting greasy and a little messy. 

After about 20 minutes went by, Bill was trying to loosen a bolt near his strut and was getting frustrated as it wouldn’t come loose, “This damned thing…” he readjusted the wrench and his position and went to try again but his hand slipped and something sharp in the undercarriage and sliced through his palm and up his wrist, “Ah, fuck…” he grabbed his wrist, dropping the wrench, sliding out from under the truck. 

Tommy looked down with a flashlight at him, “Fuck…” 

Joel came around and saw, blood coming out pretty quickly. “Shit.” 

He yelled hoping you would hear him, “Y/N! Baby, we need help!” he looked at Tommy after a moment, “Go, go get the girls.” 

Tommy nodded and ran in and went to grab you both. 

You were laughing with Frank when you heard Joel yell for help. You sat up quickly and clocked Maria from across the yard, both of you in crisis mode immediately. You stood from the swing and ran in the house, out the front door, “Joel?!” fearing that something happened to him, not making it past the front steps before he looked at you and yelled, 

“Med bag now!” he looked at you, kneeling by Bill who you could see was bleeding. 

“Fuck…” you nodded and ran back into the house, “Frank, it’s Bill!” you shouted from the stairs towards the back door. 

You ran up the stairs and grabbed your medical kit from the bedroom, rushing back downstairs. 

Maria already had run out with Mrs. Miller and half the party while you were upstairs, all surrounding Bill and the truck, murmuring. 

You ran out and pushed through the crowd, “Someone call 911.” you commanded tying up your hair, locked into the situation. 

You knelt by Bill and took his arm, “Here let me see…” You accessed his hand, seeing he might have nicked an artery or major blood vessel by how much blood was coming out, “Someone tell me what happened…” you asked calmly, looking through your bag for what you needed. 

“Damn bolt was too tight, hand slipped.” he bit out. 

You nodded, “Got it. Who’s calling 911?” you questioned the group. 

Maria piped up, “I am. I’m speaking to an operator, what are your findings?” she knelt across from you. 

You unzipped your bag, opened it up fully, and began putting gauze on his wrist as that was where most of the bleeding was coming from, “Tell them we have a deep laceration of palm that extends up the inner wrist. Explain that the blood loss suggests that it may have nicked the ulnar artery or a major blood vessel, we need an ambulance now.” you zoned in and looked around you for resources. “Tommy, I need your belt...” you said while trying to get the bleeding to stop but it kept coming.

“My what?” he questioned. 

“Belt. Tommy… now…” you instructed, there was no time for questions and you were in your element, not worried about niceties. 

He undid his belt and handed it to you. 

You looked at Maria, “Maria, ETA?” 

“7 minutes…” she said and then set the phone down on speaker and helped you by putting pressure while you used Tommy’s belt to tunicate Bill’s upper arm. “We need them here now… fuck.” you were getting frustrated by the lack of tools you had at your disposal. 

Bill winced and cursed under his breath when you pulled the belt tight, “Ok Bill, I need you to lay flat for me.” helped his head lay down on the pavement as he was slumped against the tire. 

You looked over the arm, thinking, eyes scanning over everything you had around, whispering to yourself, “Think think…” 

Joel put his hand on your back, “Baby, what do you need from me?” he asked softly. 

“Ummm…” you thought about what could work to pack, then got it, “Can you get me some dish towels and duct tape?” you looked at him, “We need to pack this and this gauze isn’t enough…”  

He nodded as he stood up and ran inside, grabbing both within a minute. 

You smiled softly and took them from him, “Thank you sweetheart.” you started to gather them up to best pack the wound, “Bill, I’m going to start packing this, it may hurt, just warning you.” 

He winced as you began packing the wound, trying to stop the bleeding as much as you could. However, he started to lose color and get a little confused with his surroundings. 

“Maria… we need an ETA…” she stood up and took the phone, turning away to speak to the operator. 

Bill’s eyes started to close, so you gently tapped Bill’s face, “Bill, you need to keep your eyes on me. Tell me what’s going on with your truck, talk to me.” you tapped his face again until he opened his eyes.  

The vibe of the area drastically changed after that and people started to worry. Mrs. Miller hugged Tommy, worried. Frank was in tears standing to the side, and Sarah hugged his side to comfort him. Joel knelt by you but gave you enough space to work. He was in complete awe and admired how amazing you were under pressure, this was your element and he was grateful in a way he got to see you work. 

Bill started to slur his speech as he began talking about his truck and his eyes started to close again, his breathing becoming more shallow, you looked at him and touched his cheek, “Shit..” you looked up at Maria for a moment then back down, “Maria, I need an ETA!” you said asked with slight panic in your voice as you started to wrap the tape around his arm to keep the wound packed tightly, “Bill… look at me… keep your eyes open.” you coaxed. 

Maria turned around, “2 minutes… they have sirens going and everything.” 

You tapped Bill's cheek, “Bill wake up…” he didn’t respond. 

“Fuck.” you felt his pulse point, barely anything, he’s bleeding out. You leaned down to listen for breath sounds, weak and uneven. “God damn it Bill…” you said as you listened. 

“Maria, tell them his pulse is weak and breath sounds are weak and uneven, I’m starting compression and mouth to mouth, they will need an immediate crash cart upon arrival…” you yelled to her and then angled his head to the correct angle for compressions and mouth-to-mouth then sat up on your knees and started compressions. She nodded and relayed the information to the operator, turning around to hear what they were saying better.

Frank started to sob and Sarah did too, you looked at Sarah as you started pumping Bill’s chest, “Sarah, go inside sweetheart, I need you to get me my pouch that has a red cross on it, it's up in the bedroom…” 

She nodded and ran into the house, you stopped after a set amount of compressions and did two breaths into Frank's mouth then started doing compressions again, “She doesn’t need to see this.” you said as you looked over at Joel with a sad look in your eye, doing what you could to shield and protect her, he nodded and put his hand on your back in support. 

You looked at Maria, and she nodded at you knowing you wanted an update, “They are pulling into the neighborhood, I’m going to flag them down.” she ran down the driveway, and you began to hear sirens in the distance. 

You did two more breaths and then started to continue compressions, “Hold on Bill, I got you… stay with me.” you gritted as you pumped his chest. 

You looked at Frank, “Frank look at me, he’s going to be ok. He’s just lost a lot of blood, ok?” you continued to pump and then did two more breaths then felt his pulse, it was getting stronger, you nodded and continue compressions, “There we go… there’s that pulse comin’ back.” you chuckled out of breath from compressions, “Come on…” you looked up and saw lights pulling into the street. 

Maria brought two paramedics to where you were, one a woman and one man, they had a transfer board and the crash equipment, you continued to do compressions as you explained what was going on, what happened, his stats, and how his pulse was getting stronger with compressions. 

“Ok, we need to load him up, can you help?” the woman asked setting the transfer board down on the ground next to Bill.  

You nodded and rolled Bill on his side so they could put the transfer board under him. You looked at the pair, “I’ll lift the board if one of you straddles him and continues compressions into the truck…” you suggested.

The woman nodded and straddled Bill and started compressions again, you went to the head of the board and grabbed the end, your cleavage showing as you had to bend down a little, “On three?” you asked the other paramedic. He was looking at your cleavage, you glared at him, “Oi, eyes are up here… on three we lift?” you bit out. 

Joel heard and saw him ogling you, and glared at the paramedic. 

He cleared his throat and nodded, turning red, “On three…” he said.

You both lifted on three, grunting and then walking to the gurney behind some of the cars, Frank following close behind. 

Elena came up and touched Joel’s arm as he stood and watched, “She’s got fire mijo…” she said smiling softly watching you with him from a distance. 

Joel nodded and blushed watching you, “She’s amazing mama…” he hugged his mom to his side. 

You helped load Bill in and stepped out of the bay, after telling Frank you guys would come visit in a few days. He thanked you and hugged you then hopped into the bay, sitting and holding Bill’s hand.

The male paramedic cleared his throat as he jumped out of the bay after you and looked at you, drinking you in, and he smirked at you, “Hey, uh you ever wanna g-…”

Joel cleared his throat, coming up behind you and wrapped his arm around you, pulling you close to him, “Everything good to go darlin’...?” he kissed your bare shoulder, keeping eye contact with the paramedic. 

You blushed at Joel’s motives and knew what he was doing, you stepped back into his hold, “I think so cowboy… Bill’s conscious now…” You looked at the paramedic, “You guys are good, right? Going to Austin General?” you cocked your head at him, smiling sweetly.

The paramedic swallowed and cleared his throat, “Yes ma’am. Thank you for all you did to help.” 

He looked at Joel and nodded at him, “Ya’ll have a good night…”

Joel smirked, “Oh, we will…” he leaned down and kissed your shoulder then inside of your neck softly. 

He nodded embarrassed and closed the bay door and then tapped it twice before going around to the driver’s seat and driving off with Bill and Frank to the hospital. 

You chuckled watching the truck drive away, “Did you just lose our bet or should I give you a freebie with those funny business kisses and touching?” you teased as you leaned against him smiling. 

He kissed you again on the neck and took a breath, inhaling your scent, humming, “I give in… I can’t handle not holding you the rest of the night.” he rubbed your stomach with his thumb. 

You smiled and slowly pulled away, biting your lip, looking at him lovingly, “Come on then, let’s go have a good rest of the night…” you kissed his cheek, “I’m gonna go freshen up, wanna get the firepit started?” 

He nodded “Yeah sure baby…” but then looked at you with so much love in his gaze and took your cheeks in his hands and leaned in and kissed you softly and slowly a couple of times, pulling away a little, “You were amazing… I love you so much.” then kissing you once more. 

You smiled against his lips then pulled away and hummed, “I love you too sweetheart…” you kept your hands behind your back as you didn’t want to get him dirty with how much blood was on them. 

You walked back up the driveway, eager to wash yourself up, internally starting to feel overstimulated by the familiar sensation of blood on your hands.

Maria and Tommy were talking to Elena and Sarah. You smiled at Elena kindly and nodded your head as she looked at you before grabbing your bag and heading inside. 

She watched you and saw you roll your shoulders and shake your hands out, starting to feel anxious. 

Joel came up to the group of people hanging in the front yard and smiled, “Ok, the good news is Bill will be ok, he’s headed to the hospital. Y/N is going to freshen up and then we’re gonna do a firepit and do smores and put some music on.” 

Everyone let a breath of relief out and nodded, heading back inside to the backyard. 

Elena came up and took Joel’s hand, “Mijo… go check on her… ella parecía ansiosa al entrar…” (She looked anxious heading inside)   

Joel looked at the front door and nodded, then looked at her, “Can you ask Tommy to get the firepit started?” 

She nodded and kissed his cheek, “Of course, mijo.”

You went upstairs and shut the bedroom door quickly, starting to feel slightly on edge. You shook your hands out again and clenched your jaw trying to blow it off. You took your dress off which had Bill’s blood on it and put it in the hamper, before going to the sink and turning on the water, washing the blood off your hands, feeling yourself start to feel anxious by the familiar image of what happened with Z, flashes started to cross your mind. You let out a breath and shook your head, “No… it’s ok. I’m ok.” then you dried off your hands. You walked to the closet and got some loose-fitting Wrangler jeans and a baggy but cute brown sweater. You put it over your head, pulling your hair out and looking at yourself in the mirror, mentally telling yourself you were going to be ok. 

You sat on the bed to put on some different shoes and stood to go back downstairs when you heard someone’s truck backfire that was leaving the house. However, to you, it sounded like gunfire and you were instantly transported back to Delta 30. Flashes of Z and his body clouded your mind and instantly felt like you were suffocating, your heart started to race and you started to breathe fast, tears blurring your vision, feeling the room close in around you, you shrunk to the floor and curled into the corner, “Fuck.. fuck…” you started to hyperventilate. 

You shut your eyes and whispered, “Breathe…” you put your hand on your chest and felt your heart racing, your hand was shaking against your chest. 

Joel knocked on the door gently, “Darlin’, can I come in?” no answer.

You didn’t even register anything around you, your ears were ringing, and your senses were all over the place. 

Joel knocked again, “Sweetheart?” no answer. 

He opened the door and peeked in and saw you in the corner, hyperventilating, curled in fear looking at the bed. He instantly bolted over to you, kneeling in front of you, taking off his hat to get close to you, “Baby?” he gently took your face in his hands, and had you look at him, your eyes looked terrified, “Baby I need you to breathe for me…” his eyebrows furrowed in concern as he looked over you, “Hey… look at me, breathe in through your nose…” he took a breath in through his nose for you to mimic. 

You weren’t registering anything, his voice was muffled and your ears rang, you shut your eyes and held your hand against your heart, “I…” you started to cry, unable to catch your breath, breathing fast and unevenly. 

After speaking to Tommy earlier, he researched how to help with panic attacks and other things you might experience so he would be ready to help. 

He racked his brain to choose something he read to help.  

Joel stroked your cheeks “Hey… I got you, sweetheart, here…” he took your hand, opened your palm, and started to draw a circle in it, repeatedly, watching your reaction, you looked at what he was doing and your breathing slowly started to slow down. “There we go… shhh… it’s ok.” he kept doing it, leaning forward to kiss your forehead, whispering against your skin, “I got you, my love.” 

You watched as he continued to draw circles, beginning to come back to him, tears falling and starting to ramble as you were watching his finger, “He… he was just there and then he wasn’t…” your lip trembled, “I should have protected him… I didn’t check what was behind me and got detained… he… he got shot while I was captured because I didn’t do the one fucking thing I was trained to do in combat… check my surroundings…” you sobbed, “... he was a child… a baby… and he… he’s dead because of me…” you closed your palm and pulled it to your chest, reclusing back to the corner. 

Joel looked at you and shook his head frantically then touched your cheek, “No… no my love… hey… come here…” he moved quickly and sat by you and pulled you onto his lap, to lay between his legs, holding you close, putting your head on his chest so you could hear his heart to calm you down, kissing your head and he held you tight, “Darlin’, it was not your fault...” he rubbed your arms and back slowly and softly, “What happened back there, I will never understand what you truly went through, but I do know one thing, and that is, none of it was your fault.” he kissed your head, “None of it.”

You closed your eyes and tried to concentrate on his heartbeat, “I… I feel like he died because I wasn’t careful enough.” you admitted quietly through tears. 

Joel kissed your temple softly, and whispered, “Baby he died because evil men shot and killed a defenseless kid in the back of a car.” he sighed sadly, “His death is on them, not you.” 

You kept your eyes closed and focused on your breathing, taking in Joel’s words, focusing on what was around you, smells, sounds, textures. 

Joel gently would squeeze your arms and rub your back, trying to release tension, whispering soft promises of protection and safety to you. 

You calmed your breathing and nodded before sitting up slowly and wiping your tears, sniffing, “I’m ok…” you sighed softly. 

Joel took your hand softly and kissed it, finding your eyes, “We can send everyone home… do you need tonight to be done? I’ll go out and kick everyone out…” he said with every fiber of him. He’d burn the world for you. 

You chuckled and shook your head, wiping your tears before touching his cheek softly, “No… I need to be around our people tonight. I just need to be with you and I’ll be ok.” you smiled softly at him. 

He nodded, “I’m here, I won’t leave ya sweetheart.” he smiled and leaned in and kissed your forehead before pulling you in his arms once more. 

You hugged him and it was like everything dissolved, he brought such peace to you that you never thought you’d have, it was hard to describe but you knew with him, you were safe. 

He held you and then you pulled away after a couple of minutes and slowly stood up, grabbing his hat from the floor, and held out your hand for him to take, softly smiling at him. 

He took it and stood, standing inches from you, you leaned up and kissed him softly, while putting his hat back on his head, then pulled away, “You’re wearin’ this more often, yeah?” 

He chuckled, “Anythin’ you wish is my command, mi vida…” he cupped your cheek and kissed you slower this time, holding onto your lips, savoring this moment he had with you. 

You blushed and smiled after he pulled away, keeping your eyes closed, “Kiss me more like that too, yeah?” 

He smiled and nodded, rubbing his nose against yours, chuckling softly, “I can arrange that…” he leaned back in and kissed you again, this time holding onto your waist and the back of your head and neck, supporting your neck as he kissed you. 

You pulled away slowly after a few kisses, “If we don’t stop, we won’t make it back downstairs…” You looked up at him and slowly backed away, holding onto his hand as you walked backward. 

He bit his lip and smiled, “Maybe that’s what I want…” he let you drag him towards the door as you softly giggled. You opened up the door and let go of his hand and began walking down the hall, towards the stairs, hearing some music playing outside and people laughing and talking amongst themselves. 

Joel stood in the doorway and watched you for a moment, soaking you in. This was the happiest he’d ever been, aside from when Sarah was born. However this changed everything including his fears and anxieties, he didn’t want you to be consumed by what happened in the past. Whether that was your past back in Afghanistan or with Charlie, he promised to do whatever he could to protect and make you happy, keep those tears and fears away from you as best he could. 

You went down a few stairs then looked back and saw him in the doorway, you smiled and held out your hand, “Come on, they are dancin’ out there and I wanna see those moves you told me you had.” you giggled. 

He smiled warmly and pushed off the door and joined you, taking your hand, and walking with you out to the back.

9:48 pm 

People had slowly started to head home, even Elena who had a longer drive than most. Joel offered her the guest room but she insisted on going back home. You asked her to call either Joel or Tommy and let them know when she got home safely which she did about an hour after she left. 

Frank called and let you all know that they started some blood transfusions for Bill and he was going to be fine, they repaired his hand and found the cause of the bleeding. He said that he was going to be monitored for the next few days but everything was going to be ok. 

Sarah went home with one of her friends who begged Joel to let her sleepover as they wanted to watch a movie that had just come out for rent at the movie store. Joel told Sarah to call him before she went to sleep but let her go happily as that meant he’d have the house with you tonight. 

Tommy and Maria, a few other tipsy neighbors, and you both were left in the backyard. You were sitting by the fire laughing and talking to a neighbor of Joel’s and Maria. Joel and Tommy were insistent that you and Maria remained seated while they cleaned up a little and straightened up. 

There was music softly playing over the speakers and for the most part, people just talked while it played, the dancing had dimmed down after the masses headed home. Joel and Tommy showed off their moves and invited you and Maria to join them as they’d teach you how to do it. However, it was just an excuse for them to have you both close to them and sneak kisses from you in between each step. You and Maria caught on though and had a rough idea of how to dance. 

You had a glass of wine in your hand and were wrapped in a blanket, chuckling at a story Maria was telling when you heard a song come over the speaker, ‘Thinking Out Loud’ by Ed Sheeran. You smiled seeing Joel walk over to you with a warm smile on his face and stop in front of you with one hand behind his back and one hand outstretched towards you, “May I have this dance with you darlin’...” 

You nodded, “Of course my love…” you put your glass down and gently slid your hand into his as you stood up. 

He brought your hand to his lips and kissed it then slowly walked you to the middle of the yard and held yours and his hand at his chest while pulling you in by your waist and slowly started swaying side to side with you as the song played. 

Some lights lined the backyard above you giving you, giving it a light and romantic atmosphere. Along with the fire pit burning, it was perfect. 

Joel hummed along to the first part of the song, holding you close, keeping eye contact with you before he started softly singing along, 

“And darling I will be loving you 'til we're 70

And baby my heart could still fall as hard at 23

And I'm thinking 'bout how people fall in love in mysterious ways

Maybe just the touch of a hand

Oh me I fall in love with you every single day

And I just wanna tell you I am

So honey now

Take me into your loving arms

Kiss me under the light of a thousand stars

Place your head on my beating heart

I'm thinking out loud

Maybe we found love right where we are…”

You smiled up at him and put your free hand on his cheek as he sang along, gently stroking and tracing your fingers against his cheek, swaying along with him, holding his hand against his chest. 

Joel kept singing to you, gently rubbing his thumb along your waist and the back of your hand as he swayed with you, completely in the moment with you, not caring about anyone or anything else around, just you. He’d occasionally bring your hand to his lips and kiss it or your forehead.

Maria grabbed your phone that was sitting by your seat and took a few photos of the two of you, knowing how you always mentioned that was important to you, to photograph special moments with your loved ones, but that no one did it for you when you were in the moment. 

Towards the end of the song Joel took a step back and spun you around softly then pulled you into him to have your back against him and to hold you tight, arms around your waist as he swayed and leaned his head down and whispered into your ear, “I love you so much darlin’, thank you for all you do to make me happy.” he kissed your shoulder, inner neck and then cheek before setting his head by yours and closing his eyes as the two of you swayed like that to the rest of the song. 

Once it was over, Tommy whistled loudly, “Alright, I think that’s a good way to end a wonderful evening! If everyone will please gather your things, please take any leftovers you brought or would like and thank our hosts - it’s time to head home!” 

You chuckled and stayed against Joel, “Sounds like Tommy wants to go to bed…” 

Joel chuckled and kissed your cheek before pushing against your hip gently to spin you back around and pull you against him slowly and softly, continuing to sway with you while another slow song played in the background softly. He cupped your cheek and smiled looking down at you, “Did you have a good time today?” he caressed your cheek softly. 

You smiled, “I did, I’d love to do this like once a month or something with our friends and family… host a dinner or barbeque… it’s the most fun I’ve had in a long time with a big group of people.” you looked up at him while you both swayed, ignoring the mass of people packing up to leave. 

“We can do that. How about every 2nd Saturday, we will do that, invite anyone we want to and it can either be something entirely made by us or like a potluck thing.” he said softly, “Anything you want to do, I’ll make it happen.” he leaned down and kissed your lips softly, pulling back slowly. 

You blushed thinking of something would love to do with him but you didn’t want to mention it as you criticized yourself for even thinking of it so early into your relationship with him. However, it’s how you felt, you wanted a life with him in every sense and meaning of it. You wanted to marry him, you knew that he was it, you had found your soulmate and partner in life, your best friend. You both had already admitted you wanted to have kids together and add to your family, it was just a matter of time before you got married, right? That was something Joel would want too, or so you thought. From what you know, Rachelle and he didn’t marry. They got pregnant with Sarah and then she left, he never mentioned marriage or divorce, just that she left. Was marriage something he wanted with you, or let alone anyone? You started to feel yourself overthink and some anxiety bubbled up and were just about to say something to Joel when Mrs. Rose came and touched your arm, snapping you out of the rabbit hole your mind just went down. 

“Thank you so much for the invite, I had a lovely time!” she smiled at the both of you and pulled you into a gentle hug and then grabbed Joel by the face and hugged him as well. He was hesitant but gave in and wrapped his arms around her softly, giving her a nice gentle hug. 

“Thank you for comin’ Rose. You’re a permanent invite on our guest list for future events, and always will.” you said smiling at her hugging Joel. 

She pulled back and smiled at you both, “Joel, could I trouble you for your help? I brought some casseroles but it’s dark and I w-” 

He cut her off, “I’d be happy to help Rose, don’t need to explain… just ask.” he smiled kindly. 

You saw something switch in Joel, especially in how he just interacted with Rose. Maybe Frank was right, maybe Joel wasn’t so grumpy towards those he usually is grumpy to? 

You gently touched her arm, “I’ll see you around, I’m going to go inside and make sure nothing gets left behind by others.” you smiled at Joel and went back inside to the kitchen. 

Mostly everything got taken by its rightful owner, all but two empty pie crystal dishes which you knew were Frank and Bills. 

You looked at the sink filled with dishes and rolled up your sleeves, thinking that you didn’t want to do anything tomorrow but rot and enjoy a nice easy day around the house with Joel. 

You filled one side of the sink with warm soapy water and the other with dirty dishes, you tied up your hair in a ponytail and put your phone on the counter which was playing some Fleetwood Mac on a lower volume. 

People greeted you and thanked you as they left, and after about 5 minutes, the house was empty.

You continued to wash dishes and either put them in the dishwasher for a deeper clean or put them on a drying rack near the sink to dry off during the night and put them away tomorrow. 

Maria and Tommy cleaned up the kitchen and living room by sweeping and wiping down the surfaces before telling you goodnight and heading to the guest room together. 

About a half hour later you heard Joel come through the front door and softly call for you, “Baby?” he took off his boots by the door. 

“Kitchen, sweetheart…” you said as you smiled washing down a pot that you used for mac and cheese earlier. 

Joel came in and smiled, coming up and touching your waist, kissing your cheek, “Where did Tommy and Maria go?” he grabbed a dish rag in the drawer by you and stood next to you starting to hand dry the dishes that were on the rack, doing his best to help or stay busy next to you. 

“They went to bed, they helped wipe down and tidy the kitchen before though, I just have been working on this mountain of dishes for a little bit.” you smiled and put the pot in the dishwasher, deciding it needed a deeper clean. “Did you get trapped by Rose?” 

Joel smiled and nodded, “Yeah, she needed help lifting something back onto a shelf in her garage and then chatted my ear off while I slowly backed up down her driveway towards the sidewalk.” he chuckled and started to stack plates that he would dry off to put away. 

You chuckled and dumped a bowl full of silverware into the water to soak, “She’s a hoot. I like her…” 

Joel nodded, “Me too, I just need to be better about tellin’ the woman I need to go.” he looked over at you, “I think gets lonely sometimes and I feel bad, you know?” 

You nodded and looked back at him, “Was there ever a Mr. Rose?” then you looked down and started scrubbing the silverware with a sponge. 

“Yeah, he passed about 5 years ago, Julio was his name. He was a nice guy, but he passed all of a sudden, I think he had a stroke or somethin’... Rose said he had a clot that traveled up to his brain.” he said sadly. 

You nodded, “Aneurysm it sounds like…” you said softly and sighed, “... that’s rough.” 

Joel nodded and continued to dry things off, “Can… what can cause that?” he sounded slightly concerned. 

“A lot of things, but mostly smoking, trauma, and genetic markers. Trauma is the most common though, the person hits their head or gets their chest crushed, it can lead to it.” you tsked, “It's a peaceful way to go though… you don’t feel a thing, you just… stop.” 

Joel looked over at you and nodded, “He was a smoker… I guess that makes sense.” he looked at the dishes he was drying, “And he didn’t suffer… that’s comforting to know.” 

You nodded, “If he did pass of an aneurysm, he would have just stopped breathing, but it wouldn’t have hurt him, he would have never known.” 

Joel nudged you softly, “Ok so we agree neither of us is dying that way, right?” 

You looked at him and chuckled, nodding, “Deal.” You started to load up the rest of the silverware in the dishwasher and then you bent down and grabbed a tablet from under the sink and put it in, starting the dishwasher’s cycle. You then unplugged the water rinsed down the sink then started to put away dishes. 

Joel smiled, “If I tell you to go upstairs and rest, you won’t will you?” 

You shook your head and chuckled taking a pile of plates in your arms, “Nope, we finish this together and go up together.” you walked behind him to the cabinet the plates go in. 

“Stubborn little thing you are…” he smirked at you. 

You looked at him and smiled, “Yep!” you giggled and continued to put plates away, humming along to the song that was playing on your phone. 

Joel shook his head and smiled, loving how easily you could make him happy. He put the remaining dishes away and then wiped down the counter with the rag before tossing it into the laundry room, coming back to the kitchen as you were wiping down the other counters with a dish rag, smiling softly. 

You turned around and smiled at him, he came over and put his hands on your waist, leaning in and kissing you softly, “Ready for bed?” pulling away gently and slowly taking your hand to pull you upstairs. 

You took his cowboy hat off his head and put it on yours, smiling, untying your hair to let it flow down your shoulders and back, “When do we get to go dancin’ cowboy?” 

He smirked and looked down at you, you looked adorable in his hat, but also something deeper erupted in him and he had to feed it, “I’ll take ya next weekend my love…” he kissed your lips slowly, cupping your cheek towards him, slowly pulling away after a few kisses, softly and lowly saying against your lips, “Darlin’ do you know about the ‘cowboy hat’ rule that you just broke?” he gently kissed you again, this time deeper, pushing you against the counter. 

You giggled against his lips, “Is this a legit rule or one you made up cowboy?” 

He grinned and pulled back slowly from your lips, grabbing your waist and lifting you to sit on the counter above him, slotting himself between your legs, looking up at you, nipping the tip of your nose gently, “It’s a real rule…” he had eyes full of lust, all the pent up tension you both had from teasing each other today, was coming to a head. 

You loosely wrapped your arms around his shoulders and teased your fingers into his hair, “I see… and what does this rule entail then handsome?” you leaned in and kissed his lips slowly, pulling his hair gently as you held onto his lips, smirking as you kissed him. 

He hummed and breathlessly pulled away from your lips, “Mmm first, you won our bet, where am I takin’ you?” he gently kissed your lips then moved his head down to your neck and began littering you with kisses and love bites there. 

You softly moaned, “Can I cash in my location for somewhere a little more… public another day?” you grinned knowing that would excite him. 

He groaned against your skin, and nodded, not being able to form a response for that request, he looked up at you and licked his lip, “Bedroom then?” he seemed desperate to get you somewhere, alone and quickly. 

You nodded and pushed his chest for him back up a little before you slid off the counter and then gently grabbed his shirt collar, pulling him close to you, leaning up to capture his lips, kissing him deeply a couple of times, before pulling back and grabbing his shirt and pulling it off him, throwing it to the floor then pulling yours off, revealing a black lace bra that left little to the imagination. 

Joel’s jaw dropped and he smirked. Between the wrangler jeans you had on, your bra, and the hat on your head, you were the image of a cowboy’s wet dream, “Fuck you’ve been hidin’ this from me all day?” he stepped forward and went to grab you when you stuck your hand out to stop him, biting your lip. 

“What’s the cowboy hat rule?” you held him where he was. 

He grinned, “If you steal a cowboy’s hat, you have to ride the cowboy darlin’...” he looked at your body up and down from where he was. 

You cleared your throat, “Eyes are up here…” you giggled. 

His eyes snapped up and met yours and then he gently took your hand and pulled it to his lips, “I apologize darlin’, I just can’t help myself…” he said making his southern drawl more intense as he looked at you with those big brown eyes and started to try and move towards you again. 

You bit your lip and stepped back, holding him where he was, “Mmm, hold it right there, I want you to do something for me baby…” you looked at him up and down, drinking him in. He was standing there in his jeans and belt that was very ‘cowboy’ of him and shirtless and you were soaking your panties while you were standing there, admiring and thinking of everything you wanted to do to his body. 

He nodded and was breathing quicker, more excited, there was an obvious bulge in his pants, “Anythin’ baby…”  

You looked over at the stove clock, “I’m going to go upstairs, and I’m going to touch myself…” the clock read 11:19 pm, you looked back at him and said slower, breathlessly, “If you can stand here… and wait til that clock hits 11:30 pm before coming upstairs to join me, we can film this… ‘cowboy rule’...” you grabbed his phone from the counter and grinned at him. 

He grinned sinfully, and groaned hearing this request, “And if I can’t wait my love?” he kissed your inner wrist, eyes on you. 

“You won’t need to worry about that baby, because you’re going to be good, and wait, aren’t ya?” you smirked and pulled our hand away, backing up towards the stairs then you stopped a few feet away and turned around and undid your jeans. 

You looked behind your shoulder biting your lip as you slowly slid them down your ass which revealed a black silk thong. You stepped out of your jeans, turned around to face him, and tilted the cowboy hat towards him, revealing the sinful black set you were wearing, “Remember cowboy, 11:30…” You winked and ran up the stairs. 

Joel was speechless and dropped to his knees, worshipping the ground you walk on with his cock straining painfully against his jeans.

You ran up and closed the door so it was just cracked open, you opted to keep everything you were wearing on as you knew Joel would enjoy taking it off when he’d inevitably make it upstairs. 

You took his phone and turned the camera on, pushing the record button, and then laid it down facing the bed on the dresser which sat at the foot of the bed, making it the perfect angle to capture you both at any position you may be folded into. You bit your lip and smirked as you backed up and looked at the bed.

You knelt in the middle of the bed, facing the door, which was also towards the camera so while you waited for him, you used the camera to your advantage knowing he’d see this too once it was saved to his phone. 

You slid your hand down your panties, finding your clit, and started to rub circles onto it lightly, moaning softly, smiling as you put your other hand behind your back, feeling how sensitive you are by just your touch, you felt excited to be fucked senseless by Joel. 

Downstairs, Joel knelt and held onto the counter like it was a lifeline, whispering, “11:30…” to himself as he looked back and forth from the stairs to the stove clock. 

He heard you moan his name at 11:26 pm and just about ran up, not caring about the recording, no matter how fucking hot it was you wanted to do that. 

He stood up and whispered “Fuck it…” and only made it a few steps before he bit his thumbnail frustrated and shook his head backing down, circling right back to where he was and kneeling back down again to avoid temptation. 

He watched the clock on the wall above the table which allowed him to see the seconds tick down. He tapped his thumb against the counter and watched as the minute hand got closer and closer to the 6. His breathing was slow and controlled but his heart was pounding excitedly. His feet were ready to run as soon as he gave himself permission to. 

He heard you moan again but louder at 11:29 and 15 seconds. He grinned and muttered to himself, “Less than a minute Joel, hold on…” he watched painfully as that clock ticked closer and closer to 11:30 and once it hit he didn’t waste a second. 

He slapped the lights off and ran up the stairs, 2 at a time, and at one time towards the top, using his hands to help him crawl up faster. The minute he got into the bedroom he closed and locked the door, and saw you on your knees, fingers teasing your clit as you had just come down from an orgasm. 

You sat up on your knees, pulling your fingers from your core, and licked your fingers as you made eye contact with him, humming in delight. You ran your hands down your body to the strings of your thong hugging your hips and started to tug on them, “Come ‘ere cowboy, I believe I need to saddle up…” you said lowly, then bit your lip as you rocked your hips back and forth as you had your legs spread like you were already straddling something. 

Joel swallowed and racked his brain, did he want to take this quick and erratic, or be slow and sensual, taking every ounce of pleasure from you? His cock was saying the first, but his heart and head said the other. 

He smirked and nodded then came to the bed and kneeled in front of you, gently took your face in his hands, cupping your cheeks, and leaned down to kiss you slowly, deeply, and with every ounce and atom of love he could put into a kiss. 

He pulled away slowly and said against your lips, “We’re gonna take this slow, I want to still be pulling pleasure from your sweet lips when that sun comes up…” he leaned back in and continued to kiss you, sliding his tongue between your lips after a few. 

You moaned softly and moved your hands down from his chest to his belt and began to unbuckle it and then his pants. 

He moved his hands down to his pants and tugged them down, along with his boxers, letting his cock spring free. The tip was red and angry with lust, dripping sweet precum from it. 

You put the hat back on his head after seeing his cock spring free and pulled from his lips slowly before moving your knees back and leaning down to lick up his shaft. You ass up in the air and lean on your elbows as you began to suck on his tip in front of him. 

He grunted when your lips sealed around his tip and began taking him down your throat, “Fuck… your mouth feels so good ‘round this cock…” he gathered your hair up in his hands and held your hair back for you as you continued to suck him off, getting further and further down our throat. He looked down and groaned, smirking, your eyes already looking up at him, “Fuck you look so hot like this… cock in your mouth, ass in the air…” he clenched his teeth and reached forward, to grab your ass, and shake it in his grasp. 

He began to rock his hips gently down your throat and move his fingers down your thong seam, feeling how wet you were, “Fuck baby, you’re such a good girl, cummin' on your fingers to get ready to take me…” he slapped your ass softly, earning a moan from you which caused him to whine as the vibrations around his cock almost became too much. 

He sat up and let go of your hair, which for you meant to take yourself off his cock, “Mmm fuck, my turn…” Joel grinned down at you and softly pinched your chin between his thumb and forefinger, bringing you back up to him, he leaned in and kissed your lips deeply then sucked on your bottom lip and pulled away, making you moan and grin. 

“Lay on your back…” he said lowly, panting softly. 

You scooted backward a little and then lay on your back, head on the pillows. Looking up at him, you breathed slowly and controlled. 

He slowly ran his hands down your thighs and touched the fabric sitting on your hips, hooking his fingers under it, “Hips up beautiful…” he requested. 

You lifted your hips and he pulled your thong off, smirking as he leaned over and opened his nightstand drawer, putting them inside and shutting it, “Those are mind now…” he leaned back up and gently spread your legs before backing his knees up and laying down on his stomach, nestling his head between your thighs, kissing them softly. 

He hummed and smiled as he continued to kiss them, “I only have one request…” he said into your skin. 

You looked down at him and your breathing sped up with him now between your legs, ready to devour your core. 

“You are not to hold back any of those sweet sounds that come from that beautiful mouth of yours…” he looked up at you with those big brown eyes, “Tommy and Maria were so drunk on wine and whiskey they are out cold, they won’t hear a thing, you understand?” he kissed your thigh, inches away from your soaking core. 

You gasped and nodded, “No holding back…” 

He bit his lip gently and then hummed looking at the sight in front of him, “That’s a good girl…” slowly leaning in and starting to lap up what you already had to give him before taking more.

Previous chapter - Next Chapter

A/N : hehehehehehe ya’ll thirsty for more… nasty bitches 🤠 this will be continuing in chpt 9 so get readyyyy 🙂‍↕️🫦

taglist:  @sarahhxx03, @blahkateisdone, @sunnytuliptime, @pedroscurls, @docharleythegeekqueen

[mla0]

fave thing about each of the Slenderverse series' you like?

OOOO YAY

marble hornets: i like its very simplistic and human nature, there's not a huge deeper narrative like reiteration or anything, it's just a relatively simple story done extremely well. also the characters are amazing. also credit to the OG. we wouldn't have any of the others without this one

tribetwelve: the editing and visuals go so hard. tribetwelve got me into several bands as well. also the collective is just fucking COOL as a weird hivemind villain thing

everymanhybrid: the deeper narrative and all the little questions and breadcrumbs it gives you, keeping you intrigued and wondering about all the things buried underneath what we see on camera. it also just feels so futile with how reiterations always end badly and it just feels like a struggle against a current you can't see

mlandersen0: the characters!!!!! i mean my god, michael??? shaun???? patrick????? stormy???? i love them. i sympathize with them more than anyone else, it's just so EASY to put yourself in their shoes. i also think its very down to earth in the same vein as marble hornets, and it can totally be seen as an allegory for trauma

whisperedfaith: LEXXXXXXXX. also i love that the focus in this one is on the rake and not slenderman

[lorata]

Hi, hope you’re doing well! Unfortunately I’ve had a bit of a shocker today and missed out on a leadership role that I worked really hard for :( any advice from your victors?

aw no I'm sorry!

i'm ah, hm. trying to poll the peanut gallery is interesting given their various approaches range from "make strategic threats and carry out as necessary" (adessa), "cheat and try again" (devon, misha), "use an extreme level of violence that makes people fear for their own safety" (enobaria, claudius, callista), "use normal violence" (many others), "accept the inevitable" (nero) or "internalize failure" (emory, alec)

the mentor answer if this happened to a kiddo, i think, is that just like with muscles, no training is wasted: whatever you did to prepare for this one will help you in whatever the next one is. and right now all you need is to find your job for right now, sunrise to sunset to sunrise. even if that job is eating and sleeping and swinging a sword around to give all those feelings somewhere to go.

OK now they're actually taking this seriously let's try again

emory says: cook something, even if it's just a sandwich. focus on each step. eat it when you're done. bonus, make extra and give it to someone else. try remember that no one else defines your worth

misha says: light a fire, climb a tree, go someplace HIGH, get the body moving, anything to keep that stuck feeling away

devon says: paint! don't worry if it's good, don't even try to make it look like anything! use water on a sidewalk or draw in condensation and don't worry about permanence because everything passes

enobaria says: kill them stab something, make something with your hands that lets you be a little violent. also find a friend and bite yell, complain, throw things, be as mean and petty about it as you need

brutus says: damn right no one else defines your worth! do heavy work - lift stumps, swing sticks around, roll some logs, rearrange your furniture, do laundry (misha!), whatever, be present in your body. you are here, you are breathing, this ain't the end

lyme says: clean. pick a surface you've been ignoring or a clutter spot that's been staring at you and deal with it, clean out the inside of your fridge and toss away anything old and expired. sometimes you just need a reminder you accomplished something.

claudius says: kill them play music (doesn't have to be good! doesn't have to sound like anything!), go for a walk, pay attention to what's around you, get outside your head. life has a funny way of turning out

petra says: kill them work out, lift heavy things, punch something, move your body, break things, go outside and scream as loud as you can, do a wall-sit until your legs shake. don't hold it inside

callista says: kill them find a small, furry animal and take it hostage show it love - they don't know anything about capitalism, they only know food and cuddles. wonderful. also wear something that baffles everyone else but pleases you and delight in your impeccable taste

nero says: make something with your hands, fix something, ask someone if there’s something you can do to help and do it. find a connection between you and someone else, you and the earth, and ground yourself

adessa says: kill them ruin them destroy them emotionally plot their demise this is not the arena; one mistake or missed opportunity does not mean death. find a worthy companion and instruct them to list your positive qualities. don't contradict them; that is counterintuitive

odin says: take solace in your friends and family! food and drink and company won't change the situation but at least you are not alone

ronan says: they are watching how you take rejection as much as if you got it. this is your chance to show that you're not petty, and they'll remember you next time. in the meantime, make yourself invaluable to the one who did get it [and so on, Mr. I Eat Poisoned Cookies and Play Chess with President Snow on the Regular]

alec: have you tried spite? way more motivating than you'd think. also, when in doubt climb a tree and imagine your most annoying friend telling you what you need but don't want to hear

and as a bonus, injured creed says: your only job right now is to take care of yourself. it will feel awful for a while, but you are more than this moment and life isn't just an off-branch of the path you should have taken. one day you'll find the sacrifice you were truly made for

[rowan-ashtree]

Keeper of Earth

this is a gift for @riseandfallofsecunit because they drew my OCs (look at them!!!), written about someone in my OC world getting some Elemental magic (explanation of magic system here. i think that's all the context you need)

1.1k words, no CWs (let me know if i missed anything!)

this is my first time posting something set in this world - I'd love to post more if people are interested :)

🌱⚡🌊🔥☀️🌑 | 🌑☀️🔥🌊⚡🌱

You've been guarding the Vessel of Earth for a number of years now.

It's not as cool as you'd originally thought.

Not the Vessel. That thing — a circlet of vines that bloom with gemstones rather than flowers — is extremely cool.

Guarding it is what's boring.

Oh, you know it's an important job. You take the responsibility very seriously. You just thought it'd be more… exciting?

Nevertheless, you do what the Keepers’ Guild asked of you: check on the Vessel and update its History each day, stay mostly isolated, move around often, and grow a garden wherever you live.

The garden doesn't need to be anything special, they'd told you. Just something that shows the Element that you care. So you plant whatever's in season, wherever you happen to be. Currently, it's tomatoes and bell peppers, plus various herbs and flowers.

You're kneeling in the garden now, gently untangling weeds from the soil to be transplanted away from your vegetables. One annoying thing about keeping the core of all nature magic in your toolshed: it feeds all life. It doesn't make growing a garden any less work.

The small toolshed sits nearby to the garden. You've gotten better at not glancing at it every three seconds just to make sure it's still locked, though you learned quickly that the vines growing on the walls and roof need to be checked on and pruned frequently, or else they'll slowly dismantle the shed in their hunt for the magic they can sense within.

It also attracts animals, which you'd been warned about, but not prepared for emotionally. One day, you'd walked outside to see a large wildcat napping by the shed, and you'd made a strangled gasp-scream that had woken the cat. It had stirred, looked at you, then gone back to sleep.

Okay, so it was kind of a cool job.

(Still not very exciting, though. Not in the ways you'd hoped.)

You gather your tools and the small bundle of uprooted plants, and move to the second garden plot, the one where you put the weeds. Many of them are hardy enough that you just sprinkle them across the ground. A few of them, you take the time to re-plant.

Very early on, you learned that the Element of Earth doesn't appreciate needless death. It encourages the natural cycle of things, of life, death, decay, and rebirth, but the weeds in your garden have as much right to live as the vegetables you plant. So you simply relocate them, to show the Element that you care. (And so they don't strangle your basil.)

Standing up again, you wipe your hands on your pants — you gave up on keeping them free of dirt stains a long time ago — and move towards the shed to put away your tools.

When you unlock and open the door, the gentle multicolored glow of the Vessel’s gemstones spills out. You block as much of it as you can with your body and quickly shut the door behind you, even though you know there's no one around. Call it paranoia, but old habits die hard.

As you hang up your tools (yes, the shed houses incredibly powerful magic, but it's still a toolshed), you notice that the light seems greener than usual. You look closer at the Vessel. It hangs on a nail like a celebratory wreath, about the size of a woven flower crown. One of the smaller precious stones, the one that's usually colorless and crystalline, is now a deep, bright green.

Carefully (always carefully, though the Vessel has never harmed you), you reach up to touch the green stone — but before you do, it falls off the vine and into your palm.

You flinch and gasp and close your fist around it. In all the years you've guarded the Vessel, through all the places you've lived, this has never happened before.

You open your hand slowly. The bright green glow is pulsing now. Starting to panic, you think back to what the Guild told you — was there anything about the stones falling out? Have you been doing something wrong this whole time? Oh, stars and smoke, did you somehow manage to break the Vessel?

Trembling, you reach with your free hand to touch the other gemstones, even going so far as to gingerly wiggle one like you would a loose tooth, but they all seem as secure as they've ever been. You try to remember the History, if any previous guardian recorded something similar to this.

You're staring into the gemstone, flashing greener and brighter and faster, when you realize you're spiraling. You close your eyes and take a deep breath, then another, letting out the tension in your body with each exhale. Freaking out won't help anything, as you're well aware, so you try to let go of the panic, then open your eyes to try again.

The gem’s light still pulses on your palm, but you realize something — it's pulsing to the beat of your heart.

Huh.

Well, it is nature magic, and you're definitely part of nature. Is it trying to tell you something?

You take several more deep breaths, feeling your heartbeat slow, and watching as the gem's flashes slow to match.

Panic fades, replaced by curiosity. You try to project that feeling out, unsure of what to do but ready to receive what the Element wants to give.

As soon as that thought crosses your mind, the gem glows brighter, and brighter, still matching your heartbeat — then disappears.

You have a split second to be confused — until you feel something blooming in your heart, your limbs, your mind. For a moment, you're acutely aware of the world around you: the fungi in the shed, the vines surrounding it, the beetles under the grass and the bedrock far below. Most of all, the Vessel, still glowing softly, now missing a gemstone. You've always known the whole world is alive (how could it not be?), but it's more than that. It's gloriously bright, it's overflowing with energy. With all this life around you, it's no wonder the Vessel glows.

Slowly, gently, the awareness fades, but you still feel awash with the beautiful warmth of your Element.

… your Element?

You open your eyes (you aren't sure when you closed them). The dim toolshed looks the same, but you feel different. You look at the Vessel again — note the missing gem, the mild glow, the hardy vines. You reach up, touch the empty socket, and realization blossoms.

The Vessel of Earth has gifted you magic.

It's not your Element, really. It doesn't belong to you (nor does it belong to anyone), but you are a part of it, now.

You realize you're leaning against the wall for support. There's a new, tiny crystal already growing in the Vessel's empty spot. You look down at yourself. You look no different from before, but inside…

Well. Your wish for more excitement seems to have come true.

[redpapercraness]

to lose you

[defiledtomb]

How did it go ? 👁👁

I FEEL ALIVE