#this is extremely important to me as a polyamorous person

[aphroditelovesu]

Yandere Tamlin and Rhysand hcs sharing a darling? 👀

❝ 🌹 — lady l: It's three in the morning where I live and here I am... Writing! Do I care? No. Anyway, I hope you like it and forgive me for any mistakes! 💞

❝tw: obsessive and possessive behavior, mention of injuries, unhealthy relationships, polyamorous (sorta of).

❝ ⭐pairing: yandere!tamlin x gn!reader x yandere!rhysand.

They won't share. That simple. There is no way Tamlin and Rhysand would agree to share a darling, let alone a mate. Tamlin is extremely jealous and Rhysand is possessive as hell. Add the fact that their darling is their mate makes it even worse.

Once one realized the other's interest all hell would break loose. It would all really depend on who discovered it first, but at the end of the day, nothing else would matter. Not even you.

Tamlin is the least emotionally unbalanced and this makes him very volatile and dangerous when his temper gets out of control. He is explosive and although he will never knowingly hurt his darling, you still have to walk on eggshells around him. Especially when Tamlin is jealous or furious.

Rhysand is the most rational one in the situation, or at least he tries to be the most rational one, even though he is seething with hatred inside. Rhys might be willing to share his darling with others, but never with Tamlin, his second worst enemy.

A huge fight would begin and if the situation between the two Courts was already bad before, it would become even worse and more volatile. Tamlin wants you at any cost and so does Rhysand, and neither is willing to share.

You would just be a toy caught in a tug of war. They detested each other deeply and their resentment grew more because of you and you would be nothing less than a pawn in a game that has lasted centuries.

They would still try to care about your needs and what you want, but they will both be so blinded by their hatred and possessiveness that you won't be as important. Not when they desperately wanted to destroy themselves.

The only situation I can see them coming to some kind of agreement would be if something happened to you, like if you were a human and almost died or suffered a terrible injury. It would be the only case where Tam and Rhys would work together for you.

Tamlin wants you desperately, he's already so alone and he needs comfort, love and reassurance. He wants to be loved so desperately and his obsession with you has become so unbearable that he can't sleep properly if he doesn't know that you're okay and with him.

Rhysand wants to be loved and have a loving family above all else, he wants this with all his might. He needs you, he needs to smell you and hear you tell him that he loves him. He needs to know that you love him, that he is the only one for you, and that no matter what, you will always choose him.

They will always fight over you, they will never reach a consensus and you are likely to end up broken and none of them will take the blame, as they will be too focused on destroying themselves than on what you need. Rhysand has tried to pay more attention to you, but at the end of the day, it's really about his personal war with Tamlin.

However, at any sign of threat to your life, they will put aside this feud and focus only on you. Even if it doesn't seem like it, they care about you and love you, in a twisted and strange way, but they do and they want to take care of you. Tamlin, especially, due to the fact that he is overprotective.

Rhysand and Tamlin will never come to an agreement, but maybe, as time goes on, they can learn to share you. There will always be bad blood and fights, but perhaps they will realize that the best way to protect you is to come together. Two High Lords can do very well protecting their mate, even if they hate each other deeply.

[mightymelancholy]

Adding on to a previous post since I feel it's more appropriate to explain here. Warning it gets ranty

I feel a lot of people would miss these "this character is xyz" tweets and live streams. I mean Peridot having little to no sexual/romantic attraction didn't even cross my mind as a young kid or even when I got older. Her being aroace had to be pointed at to me by other YouTubers since I didn't have Twitter (not calling it "X") to see the tweet or the book alluding to her to be aroace. Also because her being aroace wouldn't automatically block off from fusion, since fusion represents varying relationships like toxic relationships, romantic, sexual, polyamorous, monogamous, platonic, and familial relationships. It seems weird to imply Peridot can't have strong platonic and familial fusions just because she's aroace. That's an unfortunate stereotype that the Crewniverse fell into.

Also I won't even get into how Alastor's asexual/aroace identity was vaguely referenced by a joke that was very easy to miss.

Go watch this good video by The Ace Couple

And Octavia hardly contributed to Helluva Boss due to her being overshadowed by her neglectful father that sexually coercived a person with a poor education and a daughter, employees, and himself to financially provide for. I'll keep bringing up how terrible of a character Stolas is any chance I get lol But again a character being ace and or aro is an afterthought even to queer creators, but characters like Angel Dust, Fizz, Blitzø, Ozzie, and Stolas can mention how gay they are. There's nothing inherently wrong with sexual humor it is just that the writers of Hazbin and Helluva think overusing it is funny.

Full Moon was so bad for this 😭 Like making fun of sex toys by having the Cherubs think there torture devices isn't that funny and since they're intentionally or not making fun of people who use them. Like making fun of sex toys and BDSM is hardly funny anymore and really wasn't before at least in the ways some people did it so childishly. The people that participate in those things already get stigmatized enough, why is the show using it as a punchline??

It's just weird and kinda fetishy that the writers depict the prominent gay male characters in the show as extremely sexual people, while asexuals and aromantics can't even mention their orientation. The show uses the word gay or other similar words a good amount of times but only says ace ONCE in Hazbin Hotel that could easily go over someone's head. If people have to go looking for evidence and confirmation outside the show proper then that's not what I'd call good representation. What if platforms get taken down or the posts get removed for whatever reason, then that PROOF of the characters sexuality is gone.

Point is add more characters that are explicitly or heavily implied to be ace and or aro. This shouldn't be hard to make diverse characters important that are also their own person while not ignoring their sexual and romantic orientation. If a character can say they're gay/lesbian/bisexual etc. and like sex with pride, then why can't an ace/aro character.

[out-of-the-forest-i-come]

Running Close to the Wind Review

Running Close to the Wind comes out June 11th in the US, and June 13th in the UK, so make sure to preorder it or mark the date, because it's a gem of a book.

Pirates but make it gay and absolutely unhinged. Then take that, and make it horny and polyamorous. Congratulations, you now have Running Close to the Wind.

Avra, lucky poet and partially retired spy for Arast, accidentally stole the one trade secret most of Arast’s fortune is based on. He also accidentally reunited with Captain Tevari, a pirate with a ruthless reputation and his on-again off-again ex of the past fifteen years, who may or may not want him dead, or at the very least as far away from them as possible. To keep himself from being thrown overboard, Avra reveals to Teveri and their crew the secret he’s stolen, and together they devise a plan to sell it and make as much money off it as possible. Enters Julian, an extremely attractive monk bound by an unfortunate vow of celibacy, scholar extraordinaire and last essential piece to help them achieve their plan. Avra now has three problems on his hands: finding a way to sell the secret without being found out and killed by Arast, make up with Teveri, and convince Julian to abandon his vow of celibacy.

Forget everything you’ve just imagined about this book, forget the comparisons to Our Flag Means Death and Six of Crows, however accurate they may be, because whatever your expectations are about this book, it will blow them away. I went in with high expectations, both because of the promise of a heist like in Six of Crows, one of my favourite books ever, and because I loved A Taste of Iron and Gold, the first and only Alexandra Rowland book I’d read. Despite this, nothing had prepared me for the wild, unhinged ride that Running Close to the Wind proved to be.

Alexandra Rowland introduces us to fiery, vivid characters, whose personalities both clash and compliment one another’s. Avra could be an obnoxious and annoying character, what with his exuberant personality and endless supply of dirty jokes, but instead I found him most endearing, and it was incredibly easy to empathise with him and long for his happy ending. Similarly, Teveri’s personality could have driven me away. Instead, and partly thanks to Avra’s adoration of them, they were so easily lovable and relatable. And Julian’s wit and daunting complimented this pair so well, bringing nuance while playing into their games. This made for delicious relationships, and dynamics that had me cackling and squealing, and made me yearn for more development of their relationship, yearn to know what would happen and how it would end. From a writer’s point of view, I am admirative of Alexandra Rowland’s well-proven ability to play with a variety of characters and personalities, and render them all equally vivid and compelling, and to make readers fall for all kinds of relationships, from the calm one in A Taste of Gold and Iron to the fiery one in Running Close to the Wind.

Another thing I loved and admired was the balance between plot and character arc. This story is cleary character-led and the point of it is not so much what happens to the secret, although it is an important part of the story, as what growth the characters undergo. And grow they do. These arcs were mastered from start to end, and Alexandra Rowland found just how much of character arc and how much plot they could give us so that the story would neither feel plot-heavy nor character-heavy. This is no easy feat, but Alexandra Rowland mastered it seamlessly, and it merits some applause.

Overall, Running Close to the Wind is like no other book I’ve ever had to pleasure to read. It is wild and hilarious, and I don’t remember the last time a book made me laugh so much, but I’ll definitely remember that time. This story reads well and quickly, the worldbuilding blending it perfectly with the rest, even for those who haven’t read or don’t remember much about the worldbuilding of A Taste of Gold and Iron, set in the same world. Running Close to the Wind is a masterpiece of a story, lighthearted and yet treating serious topics without weighing down the atmosphere of the book. It is endlessly fun, surprisingly crude and dirty in its jokes, and vivid from beginning to end. Those who have loved Freya Marske’s books will most likely love this book as well, as will Alexandra Rowland’s fans and anyone interested in queer pirates. If you dislike sex-related jokes or crude language, refrain from reading this book, as it is riddled with such jokes and language—and it is what makes part of its charm.

Thank you Pan Macmillan and NetGalley for provinding me with an ARC of this book. All opinions in this review are mine and unbiased.

[getvalentined]

12-15 for Valenstrifesodos! :D

12. What they do for their anniversary:

It takes them a while to figure out what the date of their anniversary even is, given that the process of them getting together was a bit complicated and it's hard to say exactly when it segued from platonic to romantic to polyamorous between the three of them. Once they all agree on a date, their anniversary is usually a small affair wherein they all take a day off and go do something together, often away from the public. They go sightseeing, hiking, spelunking, swimming—activities centric on experiencing things together, making memories rather than focusing on gifts or anything material. In the end, memories are all at least one of them is going to have, so this is really important.

13. Who makes a bigger deal of birthdays:

Genesis. Cloud is terrible at remembering dates and doesn't have strong feelings about birthdays either way, so he doesn't really care. Vincent would avoid acknowledging them altogether if he could; other people's birthdays are like a running tally until those people outgrow him or die, and celebrating his own is a bad joke considering he's always going to be twenty-seven.

For Genesis, birthdays are a chance to express to the people he loves how glad he is that they exist. He doesn't celebrate landmark ages—although in the far future he's the one that actually remembers Vincent's exact age, and knows what Cloud's would be if he were still alive—but rather the very fact that they were born in the first place. That's a mindset that even Vincent can eventually accept, although it doesn't help Cloud remember dates any better.

14. What nicknames they call each other:

Vincent doesn't really use nicknames. He'll use diminutive forms of a person's actual name, but that's different. Genesis is "Gen" a portion of the time, and "Rhapsodos" when he's being insufferable. In the far future as they both cycle through a rather excessive number of fake names to keep from drawing attention, Vincent will sometimes use any of the names he remembers to refer to Genesis, who responds in kind. (They tend to lean into the more ridiculous ones, leading Vincent to occasionally refer to Genesis affectionately as "Dr. Rothosis," to which Genesis will respond by calling him "Professor Ventfort" in a bad Old Junonese accent.)

Cloud is much the same as Vincent, although he takes even longer to do it. Vincent has been "Vince" since about halfway through the Crisis, sure, but Genesis isn't "Gen" until they've been living together for two years. He does eventually refer to Genesis on rare occasions as just "bird" or "feathers," much to Genesis' absolute delight. (He also sometimes calls him "wingding" but that's less appreciated.)

Genesis, though. Hoo-boy. "Love" is a big one, and he uses it indiscriminately for both Cloud and Vincent, alongside "darling." Cloud is also "pretty savior," "little wolf," and occasionally "my sunlit hurricane." Vincent is "blackbird," "heartsong" and (much more rarely) "my eternal midnight companion." He'll also use long one-off poetic titles here and there, less nicknames or petnames so much as dramatic descriptions that suit the situation in one way or another. He occasionally refers to Cloud and Vincent together as "the champion and the apocalypse," but in a very tongue-in-cheek way as if teasing someone by using their middle name. (Example: "If the champion and the apocalypse would condescend to bless me with their presence, dinner will be ready in less than ten minutes and no one has set the table." Vincent is the only one of them with a middle name, so this is a fair alternative.)

15. What they would change about each other:

If they could change anything, they would all unanimously make each other match with regard to lifespan, aging and mutation.

Cloud is mortal, ages at an extremely slow rate but does still age, may experience further mutation later in life but thankfully only in a way that will absolutely be concealable (if Cloud ever gets a wing he will be able to put it away the same as Genesis) and destructible. He'll live a long time, may change a little bit but will still have the capacity to look human, but he can be killed and someday he's going to die.

Genesis is immortal, doesn't age, will not experience any further mutations over time, but is probably still as destructible as his predecessors in the Planet's service—the first generation of Weapons that Avalanche fought during the Crisis. He'll live forever, he'll be more or less the same (physically) that entire time, but he can probably be killed in the right circumstances.

Vincent is immortal*, doesn't age, will experience further mutations over time as his human characteristics are overtaken and overwritten by the Weapon Lucrecia turned him into, and he's indestructible. He'll live forever, look less and less human as ages pass until no one would ever mistake him as such, and he can't be killed no matter how anyone or anything might try.

(*Vincent is still in possession of the immortality and powers afforded to him by Chaos even post-Dirge; it's Chaos' consciousness that returned to the Lifestream, relinquishing control of Vincent's body for good. We know this because Vincent was indicated to have been all but atomized stopping Omega from leaving, possibly even burning up on reentry like space debris, but eventually whatever was left of him recombined and remanifested in the cave where Chaos once slept, whole and complete and himself. Further, the OG ends with Nanaki making his way to Midgar 500 years post-Meteorfall, which we know is something he does yearly for the express purpose of meeting up with Vincent.)

If the three of them could change anything, it would be to make it so they were all the same in this capacity—whatever that might look like—so they wouldn't be inevitably separated. Unfortunately, that's never been in the cards.

(For the ship asks game.)

[missmaymeltsmymind]

You are welcome in this place, but be warned, for dangers lay within...

Well met, friends. You enter the lair of Miss May, hypnotist, writer, and Dominant. I'm the horniest, kinkiest asexual you're ever likely to meet, apart from every other grey-ace I know, I have Extensive Opinions on Many Subjects, there's so many disabilities in this fleshy prison of Mine that it's almost easier to list the ones I don't have, and I am extremely interested in hypnosis for both sexual and non-sexual reasons, on account of the fact that it’s bloody witchcraft. In the (paraphrased) words of Sir Pratchett (GNU): just because you know how it works, doesn’t mean it’s not magic. The fact that it’s unbelievably hot doesn’t hurt, mind.

Age: I'm old enough to remember the idea of online privacy. The only thing you need to know about Me is that I am a legal adult. Fun fact: you can dox someone with their name, age, and hometown really easily. Don't tell the entire goddamned internet your personal information. Lie to corporations, for fuck's sake.

Gender: Good question! Answer in progress. There's definitely more girl in there than I originally thought, but who knows if it's enough to win a majority vote in the pronoun elections. For now, please assume I will respond to most things.

Sexuality: Queer. By specific flags, I'm Asexual (grey), Bisexual (women by preference, but if you try to ignore My attraction to men and the Funky Options, I'm swapping your knees with your elbows), Aromantic (maybe?), Transgender (DEFINITELY), Nonbinary, and Polyamorous. Just - just go with Queer. It's so much quicker. I also accept Ace, because 1. It’s definitely the most important individual one, and 2. It makes Me sound like a fighter pilot. Which is very cool. Asks: Send them! I accept your queries and questions with relish! But be warned, pretty thing, if you approach My lair looking all delicious and vulnerable, I may decide to have a bite... DMs: I will respond to DMs as soon as I'm able, but generally, I'd rather know you before I speak to you on there, with some exceptions. If you're a friend of a friend, or I'm communicating with you for professional reasons (I'm commissioning art from you, or editing some writing, that sort of thing), then speak freely, but do not be surprised if your message recieves no reply. I'm a busy lady, I have many things to do.

My tags, of which there are many:

#Miss May's Magic - Inductions, hypnotic language, and other such things I, Myself, have made. Mantras, indoctrination posts, covert triggers… the list goes on. Abandon free will, all ye who enter here.

#How the Magic is Made: Informational posts about hypnosis. Do bear in mind that I love conversational/covert inductions, please. Enter at your own risk…

#Guard your Mind: Safety talks will go here. I have extensive opinions on this subject. Time will tell if they are revealed to you.

#Someone Else's Spellbook - If I see any ideas from someone else that I consider interesting, admirable, or just really goddamn hot, you'll find them here. Consider this a list of My personal favourites from others.

#Dominance as Joy - I'm a Dom. I'm always a Dom. I refuse to not love being a Dom. This involves some wants and needs considered 'violent' or 'distressing'. I want to degrade, hurt, and manipulate people, consensually, on purpose, for our mutual pleasure. I will not apologise for this. Fight Me. And by me I mean My subs, because one of them has more muscles in their arm than I do in my entire body, and they can lift my ass up. Which is hot. Hi Dear!

#Powerful Thralls - Several of my hottest fantasies involve the unique interplay between submission and hypnosis, particularly the idea of having a switch control others for Me. You will find these ideas here. To be clear, I’m not a switch; I just enjoy a good bit of proxy warfare. Who doesn’t?

#Pretty Little Playthings - If I see any cute little subs being especially delectable and vulnerable, I may just have to comment... This may, of course, be to their detriment. Or their advantage; after all, shouldn't they want to serve Me?

#Thralls at All Times - CnC, memory play, unawareness, the unrelenting devotion to My will, anything that reminds My thralls that I command them at all times is found here. CnC is a personal favourite of Mine.

#Fuckery and Fun: Sometimes you just want to be silly. Hypnosis is an excellent tool for that.

#Kind On Purpose: Hypnosis can also be a tool used for immense kindness. Relaxation, de-stressing, massages with phantom touch, the eradication of fear, gender euphoria, hugs, intimacy, closeness. I choose to be kind on purpose.

#Cognitohazard Warning: Any spirals, swinging pendulums, hypnotic foci of all forms, they’ll be found here. I tend to avoid flashy ones by preference, but My standards may differ from yours, so if you’re at risk of eyestrain or worse, this is the tag to block. They should all be under readmores (and if you notice that one isn’t, please tell Me, I have not yet achieved perfection and as such can make mistakes), but still, if you want to avoid those, block this. Or, if you want to be good for Me, have fun staring~

#Hot Shit - Listen, I may be ace, but people can still be hot. Sometimes. I like boobs. Boobs are good. Mmm, tiddy. Need to grow Me some of those…

#Project Masterwork: This one, my friends, I shall be keeping to Myself. Though, there is one person who might figure it out...

#Transgenderism and Faggotry: The gayest most trans shit imaginable. My ultimate goal is to create a post so transgender that it performs gender-reassignment surgery on everyone who reads it. And also causes Joanne Rowling to explode. Love trans people more than you hate transphobes, though. I'll know if you don't.

#Non-Hypnotics - Believe it or not, I do have some interests outside of hypnosis. Wild, I know. Confused Me too. You’ll find random stuff I consider entertaining on here.

#The Gallery: I do love a good piece of Art. And art. Paintings, drawings, pixel art, and everything else, you'll find it here. #Words Words Words - Should I ever feel the need to talk about my writing on this blog, or just writing in general, you'll find it here. Mostly this will relate to…

#The House of Fun - My kinky hypnotic writing universe. No clue if I'm ever going to talk about it here, but it does exist, and I assure you I am pioneering new and gayer forms of sex with every word I write for it. Also demons. Demons are hot.

#Mind Over Metal - Big robots, cybernetics, and mechs are extremely cool. No further information required. Also, yes, I am a robofucker. I see you, C&H Kalisto. I see that tetsubo. The things I would do to you are not covered by the Utopian Pillars.

#Speak of the Devil - I have a very specific kink for demons. Succubi, Tieflings, anything that carries hell in its heart, spells on its lips, and horns. More of my thralls should have horns, I think. The better for me to use as handles.

#Tally Five - Anything relating to my experiences with asexuality and how that affects my gender, kinkiness, and sexuality will end up here. It's a complex one, to be sure...

#Miss May's Meanderings - At some point, I will inevitably begin rambling about a subject partially or completely unrelated to hypnosis or kink. This will go here.

#Pinned to the Wall - Personal favourites, for whatever reason. Anything that particularly strikes My fancy can be found here. Note, this most certainly does not mean they're better in some way than the other posts - just that they stick with Me in a way others don't.

#Supplicants Speak to Me - A record of any asks I may receive from others, for good or for ill. Come into my parlour! Be at ease, honoured guest; the only dangers you'll find here are very, very enjoyable. I'm sure you'll agree with me on that... and on a great many other things, too.

#All are Welcome - Disability-related posts, specifically in regards to kink. Everyone is welcome here. Everyone. Regardless of how your bodies and minds may betray you, you deserve to be loved how you desire. This includes Me, too, hard as it is to remember some days...

[alexissara]

Polyamarous Game Design

Being Polyamarous is an extremally important part of me. Having had multiple partners for many years now, lasting, loving relationships that have made me the woman I am it's important that the art I create also reflects this. However, I've failed many times to kind of capture the polyamorous spirit in my work and it's something I think is complicated to capture in the shorter narrative work I used to do. Now that I am mostly working in TTRPGs I am presented with a new questions of how to do this kind of representation.

While I've done several TTRPG projects over my couple of years of having moved into this space I think the biggest examples of me working poly forward design are my Story Synth game The Polycule's Grand Multiverse Adventure! and my work on Thirsty Sword Lesbians.

[Art from Thirsty Sword Lesbians by Matte Bat] A thing that really attracted to me to Thirsty Sword Lesbians when I was just a fan of it and not yet brought on to write Yuisa Revolution and The Matriarch was how polyamorous the game itself was. Getting smitten was never limited to one person at a time, you could finally kiss in a dangerous moment with multiple people, you could exchange strings for people, The Scoundrel's one in every port had serial monogamy that could easily bleed into polyamory. As far as I know a lot of like how polyamarous the game was at the time wasn't intended but sometimes the simple act of just not placing limits and making something feelings forwards makes something more polyam than most.

When I was working on Yuisa Revolution I was trying to make a setting that encourage polyamory but never like made you feel pressured into being polyamorous. I made sure to really encourage open love as a part of the culture of Yuisa. I was looking to create a little anarchist utopia in this setting.

With The Matriarch I took a different approach which was the Family Mechanic. While the gut instinct is to go mom for the playbook I mention in the information section that your family can be a Polycule. I designed the core mechanic to not just work for a caretaker type relationship but equals meaning your family could be two partners and a dog, two partners and a kid, three partners, or whatever kind of orientation you want to do. I wanted a lot of room for The Matarich to be more then one thing and to hold the level of flexibility that other playbooks had.

With The Polycule's Grand Multiverse Adventure! I was taking For The Queen's formula then shifting it to become a player lead force of curiosity. It's a fairly simple game but one I put a lot of thought into. The biggest concern for me was the end point of the game, I didn't want to make it feel like now everyone get peer pressured into picking one universe. So I made sure to include a reassurance that everyone could pick the universe that felt like home to them and it would be easy to visit each other. The little ending section serves as a little way for the players to also debrief about what they enjoyed, what they didn't and things like that.

This moves me to the present where in Thirsty Sword Lesbians: Falling Deeper the biggest focus of the expansion is on long term relationships. These kinds of relationships are really important to me. I've been with my Fiancé for over 14 years, been with some of my GFs now for over 7 years, and been with my most recent GF for over a year. I'll probably talk more about this specifically later but it's relevant here because notably I am polyamorous and in relationships of various forms of long term. Yet, most narratives around relationships are monogamous and creating polyamarous mechanics that are less like "no one is stopping you" and more like supporting the actual relationships presents a requirement to actually really consider how to "gamify" the relationships.

As of now the direction we're going is to do coupling but basically allow unlimited amounts of using these mechanics. Focus on the individual dynamics between particular partners as opposed to the widder Polycule's interactions. I think they can be tweaked though to allow for the whole table to engage in them, it's just currently designed with the pairing in mind. Which is consistent with how TSL works in general anyway. I am really happy with how it looks so far but I want to see in playtesting how it looks for a polycule with a few relationship playbooks in action.

The way relationship playbooks work right now is they push a drama for the characters based on their type of relationship or a particular conflict the players want to see. So seeing how a player has a few of these plus their playbook will really be the test for this kind of system.

Outside of this I want to experiment with ways to do polyamory mechanically, in my card game, Soul Of The Hero, that is currently in development right now I am playing with a polycule symbol and that indicates a character is part of a particular polycule and that also gives them a bonus. Where as individual extra strong relationships might be mention the character by name.

If you know any games that have done polyamory in a neat way please let me know, I would love to study some more polyamorous games and see the other ways people use the medium of games to express polyam life.

[magnetothemagnificent]

I know this is a question better suited to a Rabbi, but the Rabbi of the Temple I go to has retired and I won't get the chance to visit the other Rabbi I was recommended to speak to for a while and am, frankly, a little nervous to.

I am/was planning to convert to Judaism. I've felt a calling to it for a long time, but I've become extremely hesitant lately because of some of the things I've seen Jewish people on here and the learning resources I was referred to say. I know that it's more difficult to be a righteous Jew than it is to be a righteous gentile and I know that Judaism doesn't have a set belief in an afterlife/doesn't believe in hell, but I've seen people say that you must be a righteous Jew to what essentially amounts to getting into the good afterlife. Like getting into paradise instead of twelve months of reflection and then ceasing to exist. I know that a lot of Jewish texts and resources say that only truly horrible people don't ascend at some point after death, but I was EXTREMELY traumatized by my Christian upbringing about the idea of hell.

And I'm struggling because I don't know how many mitzvot I'd be able or willing to keep. I don't know if I can keep kosher (health reasons), I can't get married indefinitely but don't want to give up intimacy with my partner because of it, I'm polyamorous, sex work is one of if not the only job available to me, etc. I know the Torah requires one's health come first for things like keeping kosher and I know nowadays the Reform movement and in at least some cases Conservative as well are a lot more lenient about certain lifestyle things out of wanting to respect everyone and such. I also know people frown on Reform conversions and will say they don't see the point in someone converting if they don't intend to follow certain or most mitzvot.

So now I'm stuck. I don't want to feel like I'm converting pointlessly or like I'm going to make the afterlife harder on myself. I do my best to be a good person, I still find value and truly believe in the things that drew me to Judaism in the first place, I feel so at home in the Temple I attend, but is there even a point if I'm limited/going to break the rules given to the Jewish people? I'm too worried to even TRY to see a Rabbi again because I feel like I'll be wasting their time.

I know you're not able to contact a Rabbi right now, but all of these are something that are really important for you to discuss with a Rabbi. I know you're worried about wasting their time, but trust me, these kinds of questions are what Rabbis are for. It's their job to deal with important matters of faith and identity.

I will say this:

Judaism isn't Christianity.

A) There is no one gold standard Jewish belief about Olam HaBa (The Next World) or what happens after death. Many have debated and discussed this for millenia.

B) Regardless, Olam HaBa isn't as important in Judaism as the Afterlife is in Christianity. No matter which denomination you ask, what matters is doing as much good in the world as you can while you are alive, because this world is what's important. You can't do any more Mitzvot in Olam HaBa. Doing whatever you can to make this world a better place is what is most important.

It sounds like you have a lot of trauma regarding your Christian upbringing, and the fact that you recognize this is an important step.

Talk to a Rabbi. You're not wasting their time.

If you truly feel drawn to conversion, then it's important you discuss all of your complicated feelings with a Rabbi before you make a commitment. Be honest with your Rabbi, and be honest with yourself. Your Rabbi will be more than happy to help you.

[immobiliter]

ship bias for drummer & martha !

ship bias meme / @galaxye

camina drummer !

okay so no. 1 has to be camina & her polyambelterfam - this is her one canon romantic "pairing" and it's just handled so wonderfully by the writers and gives camina so much interesting development from s5 onwards. i'm not sure if i'd say i'm the biggest fan of the way her and oksana's relationship turned out, at least in terms of her specific dynamics with the other main crew members of the dewalt, but i do like what that dynamic achieves for camina's characterisation in addressing that she has so much anger and trauma to overcome in order to accept love from others. it's just so nice to see polyamorous relationships depicted on screen too.

i also have to give a mention to camina & naomi lmao. it should have been canon. they did polyamory with camina and her crew, so it would have been easy to accomplish with naomi & holden too. i'm not sure i necessarily ship camina with holden, i think in an ot3 situation it would have to be a dynamic with naomi at the centre ( as she deserves ), a little like how the writers pitched it during the latter half of s3, but i think they are both incredibly important parts of naomi's life and she deserves to have them both tbh.

then speaking exclusively about the telltale game, i absolutely ship camina & maya. they did everything right when it came to maya ( and one day i'll replay the game so that i can actually save her because rip, that hurt my soul ), camina canonically falls for/chooses to orbit around visionaries and idealists and i think it makes a lot of sense for her to have an early romantic relationship with someone like maya to help inform the sort of preferences she has during the show timeline.

those are my only canon pairings for camina, i think she is way too sharp and savvy for any of the men she spends her time around ( i just can't picture it with dawes, fred or ashford ). but i will always ship her with happiness + people who can look past her scary, tough exterior and appreciate the heart of gold that she has hiding underneath.

martha jones !

so can i preface this by talking about what i absolutely do not, under any circumstances, ship ? martha and ten lmaoooo. no thank you no way. don't get me wrong, i looove ten, he is my favourite doctor and i have so much nostalgia attached to david's run as the doctor, but i have Opinions about him where martha is concerned and frankly would like her to stay away. i do think their dynamic is interesting for very specific reasons, but the further i can pull martha away from her unrequited love plot, the better imo. i'd be even happier if i can just pretend it never existed in the first place. i think this also rules out shipping martha with any other iteration of the doctor too, i'm just Not Interested in really going there, y'know? i prefer doctor who when it's not all about the romantic tension.

martha & mickey is an interesting one. it's the way that martha's story canonically ends and i'm extremely ambivalent about it, probably because we are given absolutely Nothing and no reason to really care about the fact that they are together aside from a quick scene during david's last episode. do i think they could be a good fit ? yes, definitely, do i like that they shafted tom milligan ? nope, not at all lmao. so it's not something i would auto-ship but i absolutely could ship it with the right person, they both have similar experiences of being shafted and dismissed repeatedly by others and both had to prove themselves, so i think on paper it could work really well and i would one day love to explore it.

martha & jack. again, i wouldn't auto-ship it, but i have shipped it in the past and i do love the idea of them together under specific circumstances. do i necessarily think it could work out long term ? i'm on the fence, i'm not sure jack could give martha what she ultimately Needs ( stability, love, a safe home to come back to ) long term. however i love how protective jack is of her throughout both dw and tw and it's obvious that he really really cares about her and her family. and martha is flirtatious, this is a canon fact. so i find it difficult to believe something wouldn't happen between the two of them at some point, however fleeting it was. i think they could learn a lot from each other.

also a quick shoutout to martha & jason ( @synchronzed ) because i always have to credit rat for writing spectacular ships with me and this is one i'm really excited about. martha deserves a silly boy who simps for her, that is all.

and lastly, martha & happiness is up there too. the girl deserves someone who think she is a goddess among mortals because she is and i will not accept anything less for a queen like her. she takes care of everyone around her and it's only right that she has someone who will take care of her in return. i also hc her as bi, so this needn't be restricted to just boys too. i think her dynamic with miranda raison's character in dw ( the showgirl from the 30s ) is super interesting when looked at through that sort of lens.

[kikithefox231]

About me!

Hey! Call me Kiki or Amaryllis! I mainly scream about animation and cartoons here! :D ☆ Status:

THE WHIMSY IS BACK BABEYYY (depression meds kicked in)

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⋆｡° ✩ More info ✩ °｡⋆

Fandoms: (Bolded + Italicised are the one's I am screaming and crying over right now) Amphibia ✮ The Owl House ✮ Svtfoe ✮ Gravity Falls ✮ Miraculous Ladybug ✮ The Dragon Prince ✮ She-Ra (Reboot) ✮ Ducktales (Reboot) ✮ Pokemon ✮ Over the Garden Wall ✮ Infinity Train ✮ Glitch Techs ✮ Kipo and the Age of the Wonderbeasts ✮ Phineas and Ferb ✮ Milo Murphy's Law ✮ MLP ✮ Warrior Cats ✮ Your Name ✮ Weathering with You ✮ Suzume ✮ HTTYD ✮ Your Lie In April ✮ Exu ✮ Critical Role c3 ✮ Wolfwalkers ✮ Aggretsuko ✮ Genshin Impact ✮ Honkai Star Rail ✮ Animal Crossing ✮ Neko Atsume ✮ Spiderverse ✮ Murder Drones ✮ Nisekoi ✮ Nimona ✮ Zootopia ✮ Sonic Franchise ✮ Littlest Pet Shop ✮ Keeper of the Lost Cities ✮ Tamako Love Story ✮ Spy x family ✮ Percy Jackson and the Olympians ✮ One Stormy Night ✮

The Blorbos ever!!! Marcy Wu ✦ Star Butterfly ✦ Fluttershy ✦ Starlight Glimmer ✦ Cinnamoroll ✦ Willow Park ✦ Miko Kubota ✦ Jesse Cosay ✦ Lake ✦ Hazel ✦ Rayla ✦ Marinette Dupain Cheng ✦ Adrien Agreste ✦ Robyn Goodfellowe ✦ Mebh Óg MacTíre ✦ Leafpool ✦ Hollyleaf ✦ Yae Miko ✦ Sucrose ✦ Lady ✦ Webby Vanderquack ✦ Della Duck ✦ Fearne Calloway ✦ Goldie ✦ Gwen Stacy ✦ Serial Designation N ✦ Chitoge Kirisaki ✦ Miles "Tails" Prower ✦ Amy Rose ✦ Zoe Trent ✦ Penny Ling ✦ Coco Pommel ✦ March 7th ✦ Firefly ✦ Robin ✦ Bailu ✦ Huohuo ✦ Anya Froyer ✦ Mabel Pines ✦ Dipper Pines ✦ Pacifica Northwest ✦ Mei ✦

Characters that are me fr fr:

Fluttershy ⟡ Star Butterfly ⟡ Marcy Wu ⟡ Huo Huo ⟡ Miko Kubota

Socials: AO3 ✧ Amarylily YT ✧ Amaryllis Spotify ✧ Kikithefox Amphibia Sideblog ✧ brb-crying-over-amphibia ML Sideblog ✧ chaton-et-buguinette Glitch Techs Sideblog ✧ glitches-and-techs Svtfoe incorrect quotes blog ✧ incorrectstarvs A Miles a Day blog ✧ a-miles-a-day Hubris Bracket Blog ✧ hubrisbracket Art insp blog (warning: not tagged for mild gore, religion, flashing lights, and etc.) ✧ kiki-screams-abt-art

Tags I Track: #fav - favorite posts/posts I want to find later #my stuff #kiki stuff - both used for tracking my original content #kiki rambles - for stuff where I talk a lot in the notes #tagged - for tracking stuff I'm tagged in #Important!!! - important posts (feel free to block since they will contain topics like mental health and real world news) #funnies - posts that made me laugh #ive been personally attacked - what it says on the tin lol #thanks for asking! - for asks answered by me #thanks for answering! - for asks sent by me #bee bestie <3 - starting to use this tag for posts where I'm tagged by @mell0bee or mention bee bc there's so much and I wanna save them 🥺 Ultimate fav posts! ✪ Amphibia Trio Playlists ✪ Amity’s TRUE Hair Color!!1!1! ✪ PARTNER IN CRINGE!!! ✪ One of the most insane posts on this website (affectionate) ✪ HE'S SO CUTE SHUT UUUUP (picture of Georgia) ✪ Follow your dreams ✪ Leafpool request (spoiler: got kissed on the forehead 🥺🥺🥺) ✪ Princess Joe (of USA) ✪ "i appreciate the (extremely cursed) bee bee." ✪ polyamorous power move ✪ happy robotnik slaughter saturday everybody ✪ IT FINALLY MAKES SENSE TO ME ✪ it's okay fish. don't let this get you down. you are all of you. ✪ AROACE AND TRANS SONIC REAL?????? (NOT CLICKBAIT) ✪ Everything is canon. ✪ cant be mentally ill in PEACE!!! *sobs* ✪ last book that made you cry ✪ disney romcom (on a VERY evil and fucked up train) ✪ LGBT bar so good it made someone gay <3 good for them <3 ✪ POLY PLS ✪ Happy birthday Grimace! *fuckin dies* ✪ y’all are always finding new ways to make fossils fuels. ✪ Bill better sleep with one eye open lmao ✪ CONGRATS ON THE DIVORCE!!! ✪ "AND NOW YOUR BODY SHAMING!!!" ✪ POLY SHIPPING!!!!!! ✪ ALYAGAMI SUNSET FANART IM GONNA GO CRY!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WAAAAGH!!!!! ✪ GO MILO GOOO!!! ✪ ✪ ✪ ✪ ✪ ✪ ✪ ✪ ✪ ✪ (updating soon!)

Likes and Dislikes! ♡ Tea ♡ one-liners that cause me to break down immediately ♡ Extremely specific aus catered to me directly ♡ amvs ♡ Alt/indie music ✘ Confrontation ✘ Heavy gore ✘ Waking up early ✘ Horror movies ✘ Fermented Black Beans

Hobbies!

⟡ Traditional + digital art ⟡ graphic design ⟡ writing ⟡ singing ⟡ sowing

⟡ video editing

⟡ crying over fictional characters

Personal: ✿ I get socially anxious easily so I will try my best to communicate how I feel but just fyi in case! ✿ My memory is horrible so feel free to remind me of something if needed! ✿ I forgot to say this but I’m Asian GAKHSKSJ I’m Taiwanese and Chinese! I can understand and say basic mandarin but I don’t know how to read or write it sadly 😔 one day!!! ✿ I have ADHD, depression, and anxiety (probably?) so please be nice :’) I’m trying my best

Extras: ❀ I don't mind being tagged in things if we are mutuals! If you're not sure just ask me in advance! ❀ feel free to ask for me to use tone tags or tag trigger warnings for posts! If you'd like me to ID a post let me know! ❀ spam liking/reblogging is welcome! ^^ ❀ feel free to ask my a question! I am not guaranteed to answer it if I feel uncomfortable with it, however! ❀ fun fact: this URL is my animal jam username from ages ago lol ❀ I got called a donut once???

DNI List Please don't interact with me if you post: -nsfw -heavy gore -do not tag triggers -cp -extreme horror

⋆｡˚ credits: purple city divider ⟡ moon dividers

[rowanoftheunknown]

You can be mad about lupete of course but the interpretation of them being poly was almost fully a fanon idea. Saying we don't own each other is something I'd say about my own partner (and were monogamous). That said- them being married doesn't stop them from being poly at all.

First of all, I would say that it was not a fanon idea, it was pretty explicit in season one and the fact that it is treated so casually is what maybe makes it less noticeable to non polyamorous people and what makes it so important to me.

Secondly, I'm not trying to imply that you can't get married as a poly person. Very "how dare you say we piss on the poor" energy. I'm saying that in the show marriage is brought up to show people being trapped, in heteronormativity, in relationships, in societal expectations and constructs. I personally believe that it would have been great to see a couple who love each other unconditionally without having to have them get married and I think it does a disservice to the themes that have been set up. Marriage is a social contract that is fundamentally about ownership, whether that's what it means to you is kind of immaterial because that is what it means both literally and in this case, thematically.

Finally. I love lupete. I'm not mad about them, I'm extremely happy about them, I'm so glad they're back together, they are a set you cannot separate them etc. I thought that the proposal was out of left field and honestly a little out of character and I thought it was weird that nobody else was seeing it. Lots of people are saying they disagree and honestly slay let those boys have their wedding they deserve a day off

[aceing-on-the-cake]

I do not have what anyone could describe as a societally normal take on relationship dynamics. I am arospec, aspec, and polyamorous. The way I am inherently going to look at and define relationships, is automatically going to be different than the vast majority of people because of those three factors all interworking together.

Which means that even when I'm engaging in a statistically normal relationship dynamic, such as monogamy, the way in which I engage in monogamy is going to be extremely different than the way most other people engage in monogamy. Because like monogamy is an action, it is a relationship structure that you can choose to use or not use, and in the same way an asexual person can choose to have sex with someone regardless of their asctual attraction, me engaging in monogamy is not going to change the way in which I perceive the world and relationship dynamics as a whole.

So a lot of my ideals, or even simple things like what my boundaries are within a monogamous relationship for my other partner, are very different from their ideals and instinctive boundaries. Which that's not a problem, I am in a monogamous relationship because I don't mind engaging in that relationship structure with the person I'm engaging it in with, but that is not my automatic instinctive need or even want.

So like when it comes to things like what is cheating to you conversations, such as what kind of physical contact do you consider to be crossing lines with other people, looks incredibly different for me than it does for my partner. It's always going to look different, because my bar is always going to be "if the other person knows who I am and my place in your life, you're not making me less important in your life, and you're letting me know the very basics of the things you're engaging in (I'm literally talking all they'd have to mention is they want to sleep with another person, they want to go on a date with this other person, they want to cuddle pretty frequently with this other person, etc), then I'm fine."

And it's ok that my partner's list is longer. It's ok that they have a longer list of types of physical contact they are and are not ok with me engaging in with other people (i.e. kissing, cuddling in a bed specifically, etc), because again, I am choosing to participate in a monogamous relationship structure with this individual because I enjoy their company more than the prospect of engaging in polyamory in general.

But it's important to know that I am still a polyamorous person regardless of the relationship structure I choose to be in, the same way a bisexual person is still bisexual, no matter who they choose to be in a relationship with.

Actions, do not define your queerness, or define the way you view society, or define how you view cishetero/amatonormative ideals. They never will.

[itsmymeaningoflife]

If you're still interested in answers to your twd shipping post, I just finished the series :D Feel free to ignore, this got really long.

(And just a heads up, any time I say "Daryl is..." I mean that I hc him that way. Just so it doesn't come across that I'm arguing that anything I say is canon or not. xD)

I'm a donnie/conyl shipper and I am totally pleased with the state of Daryl's relationships by the end. Daryl is someone who takes his time comfortably letting people into his heart. The pace he and Connie are moving felt good to me! While the self-indulgent part of me would have loved more for them (at least Connie also seeing him off or slightly more physical affection), I didn't need a fully established relationship between them yet. I see it as something that is there, but still blossoming as they're also navigating their way through own personal paths in life.

It took 10+ years for him to tell Carol he loved her and she is an extremely important person to him. I don't think it's weird if he and Connie aren't quite there yet.

That, and I personally hc Daryl as not a very romantic person in general. I don't think he's going to be super mushy or deep kiss in public. He's not one to long for candle lit dinners or walks on the beach, ahaha. This also goes had in hand with my hc that's there's some gray romantic/sexual or demi romantic/sexual thing going on with Daryl. I hc the way he feels, expresses, and engages with people relationship-wise is pretty different from mainstream folks.

(So when I'm in the mood, I literally feel comfortable hc'ing that he and Connie ARE together in the epilogue scene and they just didn't express their reunion with any big grand gesture because they draw most of their joy from casual physical affection and simply being around each other.)

The other complicated half of the answer is that I also see Daryl and Carol as sort of... platonic life partners? So to me, they kind of ARE together, just not in the traditional romantic and/or sexual way? Whereas I enjoy Daryl and Connie having a bit more of that romantic interest in each other.

And as someone who connects very strongly to deep, intimate, polyamorous/non-monogamous relationships, I have no problem shipping Carol with Ezekiel romantically, Daryl with Connie romantically, and then Daryl and Carol in an equally important but different dynamic relationship that includes this true, deep, powerful platonic love.

And media almost never gives us relationships like Daryl and Carol that are platonic, so I just adore them that way. It's so satisfying for me seeing a man and a woman so close who aren't romantically involved. I LOVE PLATONIC 'I LOVE YOU'S THEY MAKE ME SO HAPPY.

TWD often comments on not being restricted by how the old world expected life to work, and I think that can go for relationships too. The dynamic that Daryl and Connie and Carol and whoever else have don't have to fall in neat little boxes they way society used to dictate. I love it being fluid and open and comfortable without a need for jealousy or labels.

And this is only the tip of the iceberg for me when it comes to talking about these guys, but I'm trying to keep it concise as possible. xD

So, I think your post was asking about what less ideal state shippers prefer, but personally, I don't feel I like lost anything. Who knows what's to come with the spin off, but as of the twd finale right now, I don't feel like they ditched or abandoned Daryl and Connie and I wouldn't give up Daryl and Carol's friendship for the WORLD. They're both super important to me. :D

And I left behind ship wars back when I was 13, so no matter what does happen in the new spin-off, I'm going to be in my happy little twd bubble off to the side shipping these characters in the way that brings me the most joy.

While I’m not really engaging with this part of the fandom (‘shipping wars’) anymore since the show has ended, I think that this is a really interesting take and I’m very grateful you took the time in writing out this ask, thank you.

You make some very interesting points. The one thing I absolutely agree on is the asexual Daryl hc. I’ve always been a big big big supporter of asexual Daryl.

I’m glad you’ve watvhed this show tho, and I’m glad that you, a donnie shipper, can also appreciate the profoundly deep connection between Daryl and Carol. A lot (not all, but a good chunk) of donnie shippers like to diminish their bond in favour of their ship. So thank you for that.

But one thing I will have to “call you out” on (I’m sorry for the phrasing I really don’t mean it in a harsh way hahah) is the “Daryl isnt one to long for candle lit dinners” line… because this

is a very treasured moment in the Caryl fandom. Daryl being the only person Carol let in (both physically and emotionally) after she pulled away from the group, and Daryl asking “if [he] has to be a king to get some food around here” is such a beautiful scene.

That and in s11 he asks Carol to meet him for lunch, and when Carol suggests the diner, he tells her “it’s a date” … so like… he does, and has been involved in asking people (Carol) on dinner dates

I will post this ask as I think people will want to see this take and maybe chime in on some points better than I can.

To anyone replying to this person- be kind and be respectful. I’ll be monitoring comments and anyone being hateful will be removed. It will not be tolerated. People can have opposing opinions and still have respectful discussions about it.

[the-dragon-twin-demons]

Notes of warning/importance

I have a slight headcannon for some lore here. The circles are giant domed cities connected to one another via tubes with plenty of ventilation to keep out the mists from what I call the badlands. These mists corrupt almost all who enter by first slowly but noticably draining a demons sentience turning them into beasts of burden with one mission and one mission only...Feed. of course it also slowly corrupts the form until it's a complete feral form of itself. The only beings so far known to resist the mists were Lucifer and Lilith aside from the dragon twins. I also suck at art like my blog description says so I used avatar makers to make the pictures here and I'll just use an image of deathwing from world of Warcraft/blizzard entertainment for Bahamut 's dragon form and an ancient silver dragon from DND/wizards of the coast for tiamaht's until I can better form arts of the dragon modes better myself.

Roleplay rules&info

Minors DNI

Bahamut is straight and Tiamaht, Ruby, and Lillian are lesbian both dragons are polyamorous and imps are monogamous

Shitposting questions are not allowed so no "ur mom gae" kinda stuff.

If absolutely necessary I will deactivate anon asks but I don't want to for now and will change this bit of text if I had to.

Be respectful of others and me as a person out of character because in character is one thing, lots of folk in hell are pricks. People have their own lives and luxuries to live and experience and don't deserve to be rushed or disrespected when you don't even know the person in the slightest.

Sexual asks I must mention be kept to an all time low or just not at all but there are characters like angel even if they're not other men or other angel dusts and I can't stop them but in most cases I won't be answering them

Character intros

These are the twin dragons of hell Bahamut (left), Keeper of Knowledge was manifested billions of ages ago when Hell was a singular realm and not split into the 7 circles that we have now in modern day. According to many legends of him (and to confirm them) he IS Hell's oldest living encyclopedia and a master strategist. He has the wit, but not the power, to far exceed any modernly known demon...including the Radio Demon himself. But if he were put into a fight of raw power against say, angel dust, the spirder'd be burned to a crisp. He believes in Charlie's ambitious nature but as a Primordial Daemon, Bahamut is bound to Hell and can never be redeemed despite his efforts and has made peace with that. (Physical notes not said: he's 5'10, he's not lacking for anyone he's with and though I didn't find a good one he does have a longer tail to sell the dragon aspect further)

His sister Tiamaht, Protectorate or Relics(right) was a demon born before Hell was divided into the 7 circles we know now. She, like her brother, is an extremely loyal demon. She is the strength to her brother's strategy yet is far more nomadic than him. Of course she's not all that into planning without Bahamut there. Unlike Bahamut though she uses ice magic instead of flame magic. In person lately she is very tomboyish and kind of a dick but openly admits as such but follows up with "people need people to be blunt sometimes and it's not easy but if I'm the one who has to in situations I'm then I'll make sure I tell it how it is" (physical details not told yet: shes 5'3, they may not be bif but her partners love em, also has a tail she uses to teasingly spank partners.)

And below this text are the dragon forms

Other OCs

Name: Ruby Bakers, Age: 1845, Gender: post op MtF (bc apparently males have thick white stripes and that's how to differentiate and I just thought it was a humans gender dimorphism thing which made me pick these horns before I knew), Orientation: technically lesbian now but she's attracted to women. Job: Helluva Post delivery woman

(Both Ruby and Lillian were made using this ⬇️)

Name: Lillian Servont (pronounced like servant but it's Ser-vahnt), age 1576, gender: cis female, orientation: poly lesbian, job: personal assistant/secretary to the first overlord to accept her application (will edit this post to change that) so that she can run a business specifically meant to send people on that path.

[snyrtch]

just saw the scene propositioning polyam with astarion and I really Do Not understand the people going "he clearly is upset by the notion and is just doing whatever the MC wants" rant below

but also! I have not finished his route, and haven't gotten past this point, so these are just my immediate thoughts upon seeing the scene

I myself am traumatized (albeit in a different way, but still sexually) and polyamorous and all he does is go "[I'm fine with this, it seems harmless, but I just need to make sure you're not doing this because of how I feel about sex.]"

Checking that you are enough for your partner does not mean you find polyamory hurtful. Polyamorous relationships are not greedy. They are not splitting affections. They add affection, but they also inherently deal with feelings of inadequacy and jealousy head on. Tav and Astarion's relationship is relatively new, extremely tender, and has to be complex due to the things they've both been through.

Even still, at that point in the story, Astarion who, at the beginning of the relationship had been using an age-old mask that hurts him, shed it privately by this point to be vulnerable in act 3, and was accepted, assuming you did the romance the way I expect most people to.

His brain is telling him "they want to fuck Halsin because you refuse to put out, like you should be, because that's the only thing that keeps them with you."

My interpretation of an unhealthy response to this would be to internalize that voice and start going at it, to throw away the newfangled vulnerability and return to the mask.

Do you know what he does instead? He communicates. He reaches a hand out, even if that's hard. He makes sure that his partner doesn't feel that way. He ignores the destructive inner voice. He's whip-quick to say he "knows he was being foolish," but he wouldn't ask if it wasn't important, and both characters know that. He's still dismissive of the feeling & vulnerability, but he's doing his best.

THAT is a marker of healing to me, and it feels dismissive of his story to say Astarion is some pushover dandy that does whatever his partner wants at this point in his story.

DO I think adding polyamory to a relationship like this at this point is necessarily a good idea? Not really. Wouldn't do it personally. Would take a couple months to really settle into the dynamic with Astarion and make sure we were both feeling good about the decision. I definitely wouldn't go straight from the conversation to go bang Halsin lmfao, BUT this is a video game. And the time is very limited there in act 3. So for what it is, it's fine.

I just really wish people would stop having a HC and treating it like law! People liking Astarion's polyamorous route are not evil. Thanks.

[alterousuggestion]

Hi can you help me understand myself pls?

I really don’t understand the difference between platonic and romantic feelings/relationships. I’m worried that if I end up dating someone that I’ll upset them with how open i am with my love and affection. I also don’t understand monogamy. I’m really bad at explaining things so bare with me pls

So if I’m dating someone who’s monogamous because I love them and I’m sexually attracted to them

AND

Love my friends and I’m sexually attracted to them too

But only have sex with the one I’m dating

Questions : does that make me aro? And should I set some boundaries with my friends when it comes to the romantic type of affection? Is it cheating if I don’t set boundaries? Should I not date a monogamous person?

I just wouldn’t want my partners feelings getting hurt that’s all. Thanks

Hello~ I am so sorry it took me forever to get around to answering this.

I think it's very common in both aro and alloromantic circles to sometimes tell the difference between platonic and romantic attraction, especially if, as an alloromantic, you are on the younger side in age (not always, but sometimes!!). It's something that comes with experience, on both sides. The alloromantic person will eventually get better at realising the nuances in their feelings, and the aromantic person will also get better at understanding themselves as well.

As always, I can't give you a 100% yes you are aro because what being aromantic means is different for everyone. However, what I will say is that you recognising that your love and affection, as well as your sexual attraction, can apply to more than one person at the same time, can be an indication of a more non-monogamous/polyamorous attraction style.

I am not an expert on this, so please view this as a jumping off point into your own research rather than a 100% correct answer. I would recommend researching up on polyamorous relationships, and I would also recommend to do some research on relationship anarchy, and see if that is something that would interest you. I also want to say that being polyamorous and aromantic is not mutually exclusive, as there are many people who are both.

Now to answer your questions:

Does that make me aro?

Reflect on how you feel in terms of your romantic attraction. 'Love' is a very broad term. What does it mean to you? Do you love your partner and your friends in the same way? Are there differences? Does calling it romantic attraction when it comes to your S/O feel good? What about your friends? Do you get a positive reaction when you think of your attraction in romantic terms, or do you feel indifferent or maybe even a bit uncomfortable?

From what you wrote, I sensed that you may be conflating sexual attraction and romantic attraction. Remember, aromantic means you have little to no romantic attraction. It is distinct from being asexual.

Should I set some boundaries with my friends when it comes to the romantic type of affection?

This is a tricky one. For the meantime, until you are able to figure out what you are feeling and what you would desire, I would say yes. I think it's really important to realise that, while feeling attracted to multiple people at the same time isn't wrong, it can be hurtful to the person you are in a relationship if they don't understand. It can also come across as confusing to your platonic friendships too. Boundaries are extremely important no only for yourself, but for others too. Like I said, it isn't wrong, but it's so important to be mindful of the fact that our experiences will touch and affect others too.

Is it cheating if I don’t set boundaries?

It might come off that way to your partner, so I would say yes, although it's a bit more complicated than that since you might have a different perspective. You need to be clear and honest to yourself about what you want, and you need to respect what your partner wants too.

Should I not date a monogamous person?

In general, if you feel as if you would like to explore polyamory and your attraction to multiple people, then being with someone who is monogamous can be a challenge. Both people have needs, and they may come off as contradicting. Again, neither of you are wrong, but it's about knowing what you are and are not comfortable with in a relationship. Ultimately, this is a conversation you need to have with your partner.

I understand not wanting to hurt your partners feelings, but honesty is always the most important thing in my opinion. Respect yourself and your partner enough to have this conversation, because it's about honouring you both.

Here are some resources that might help you out further:

[takiisieju]

Hi my love, don't mean to cheat, but really curious about my MK match. You know everything about me, but still

Height: above average

Appearance: unconventionally attractive

Personality: optimistic, easy-going, adventurous

Red flag: irresponsible

What is love to you?: care, attraction and all kinds of support

YOUR VALENTINE:

Preferred gender: any

Polyamorous relationship: acceptable

Preferred height: any

Preferred appearance: any

Red flag: low intelligence and irresponsibility (we'll never get anything done that way)

Characters you absolutely don't want: -

Other: nothing? you already know everything ;)

Okay, okay, hi love.

You're gonna be pleased with this one, as I match you with... Mileena!

It is extremely important for Mileena that somebody is attracted to her, and she'll smother you with her love, honestly, that poor affection-starved girl. She'll happily take the lead in the relationship, so you can rely on her fully. She'll ensure you get the best treatment possible (or heads will roll). And she'll definitely appreciate the light and the air of ease you bring. There is nothing she'll love more than to share her adventures, holding you close for safety, but taking the risks for fun anyways.

Hope you like your result!

Love, Dr. True Love