#out of the forest out of the brain

[out-of-the-forest-i-come]

there's something to be said about how adam is always described as the soft one and ronan the harsh one when it comes to looks, that adam is a sepia picture whereas ronan is jagged stone, but in truth ronan is a huge softie and adam has such ragged edges. but also that ronan has enough edges himself not to cut himself on adam's and that adam has enough softness to be able to receive ronan's without destroying it

[out-of-the-forest-i-come]

Let's also not forget that even if some authors shared ideas and desires that we now have when it comes to certain topics, they could not write and publish whatever they wanted. Censorship was very much real, and The Picture of Dorian Gray was already nearly censored because of the gay subtext. Oscar Wilde was tried for gross indecency partly because of his writing. E.M. Forster did not publish Maurice until he was dead because he knew that writing an explicitly gay story with a happy ending would have him face huge backlash. That was fifty years ago.

So let's remember that not only have we made progress when it comes to civil rights philosophy, we also have a lot more freedom of speech than most, if not all, authors did even just a century ago.

it drives me bonkers the way people don't know how to read classic books in context anymore. i just read a review of the picture of dorian gray that said "it pains me that the homosexual subtext is just that, a subtext, rather than a fully explored part of the narrative." and now i fully want to put my head through a table. first of all, we are so lucky in the 21st century to have an entire category of books that are able to loudly and lovingly declare their queerness that we've become blind to the idea that queerness can exist in a different language than our contemporary mode of communication. second it IS a fully explored part of the narrative! dorian gray IS a textually queer story, even removed from the context of its writing. it's the story of toxic queer relationships and attraction and dangerous scandals and the intertwining of late 19th century "uranianism" and misogyny. second of all, i'm sorry that oscar wilde didn't include 15k words of graphic gay sex with ao3-style tags in his 1890 novel that was literally used to convict him of indecent behaviour. get well soon, i guess...

[beastlyidiocy]

[thefirstknife]

The Infinite Forest

Sighs. This post has been on my mind since we saw the trailer for Echoes, because they showed us the gate to the Infinite Forest and I thought: how many people even recognise that? Let alone have been there? Or know stuff about it? It's not been in the game for over 4 years, outside of a few pvp maps.

The Infinite Forest was a victim of the yoinkening of planets at the end of Arrivals. Unlike Mars and Titan that have since returned, Mercury has not (and neither has Io) so there was really no reason to think about it until they decided to do something with that. And it appears they've decided, something I hoped they might do in Echoes, given that we've speculated from the start that it would be a Vex season.

But now that we did get the proof that we'll be dealing with it somehow, I want to get into it, and mostly because they gave us zero explanation about how is it even possible for us to consider the Forest. I'm going to have a normal time with this one. I know we'll get at least some answers in a few days, but I need to cook in the meantime so I don't descend into madness (too late). Obviously spoilers for this week under the cut, and also a long post:

What is the Infinite Forest?

How does it all work and why?

What happened to it?

Echoes

What is the Infinite Forest?

The best, and arguably only, source for this is unfortunately a vaulted campaign, Curse of Osiris. Here's a link to the campaign from Destiny Lore Vault, but there are also playthroughs around from the time it launched. It's not needed to watch the whole thing, although it is fairly short, but this is where most of the information about it comes from.

There's also the Osiris comics that accompanied the DLC; first two are available on Bungie's site. The third is only in the physical book, helpfully scanned here.

Probably the most concise explanations are from the campaign:

Reflection of Osiris: Behold — the Infinite Forest! A planet sized prediction engine, simulating trillions of realities in parallel, all geared towards a single Vex purpose. Keep going, and you'll see. Sagira: The Vex are simulating reality in here. Brute forcing the future. And before you ask: everything in here IS real enough to kill you.

And this entire lore tab:

Physically, I am beneath the surface of Mercury. That is what Sagira's sensors say. The Vex hollowed out the planet, replaced its molten heart with cold right angles. But that is not what I see. I see infinity. An infinity of possible worlds, so perfectly simulated as to be indistinguishable from the experiences I once called "reality." I can touch them, taste them, pass lifetimes in them! They grow within this machine like fruit upon a tree—no, a forest of trees, its fractal expansion nigh unmeasurable.

Essentially, the Infinite Forest is a simulation engine that the Vex use to make predictions and find possibilities that suit their goals. It's physically located inside of Mercury; the Vex dug into the planet and replaced its insides with the engine. So far it has only been accessible from Mercury, from a single gate. Putting my 7 year old screenshots here like grabbing pictures of loved ones from a photo album:

Ikora noted that Osiris spent a long time studying that gate back in the day, believing it's the entrance. And he was correct.

There is a Vex gateway near your location. Osiris spent years studying it. He was convinced it was the door to the infinite Forest. If it is still possible to find Osiris, we need to open that door.

Osiris, or rather, his reflection, also said:

First, I will show you where it all began. Mercury, untold centuries ago, before the Vex arrived. Here, the Vex planted the seed that became the Infinite Forest, and its Mind, Panoptes. Panoptes has a single purpose — reshape reality for the Vex.

To keep things simple, the campaign revolved around us stopping Panoptes from achieving the Vex' goals by using the Infinite Forest. We ended up killing it, of course. We did so by hopping around through the Forest, going to simulated pasts and futures.

But the Forest largely consists of a really weird constantly shifting space that looks like this:

Thank you past me for this really helpful screenshot. It looks like it's an open sky, but it's not; the ceiling is a solid flat surface. That is the surface of Mercury, seen from the inside of the planet. On the edges of the picture, there's two tall structures; one looks worn down and destroyed, the other looks newly built. These are the gates leading to the actual simulations. The left one leads to a simulated future and the right to a simulated past.

These structures are called "trees" and are the reason why this place is called the Infinite Forest. Each of these "trees" generates a simulation and leads there, but you have to go through this shifting reality with ever-changing platforms to reach them. This is the physical space needed to essentially "run" the Forest.

You can still see this on pvp maps Fragment and Convergence:

A lot of the stuff about how the Vex actually made this was not entirely confirmed at the time; the stuff about Mercury being converted back during the Collapse was something that's been in the lore since literally D1, but not much was known about how true any of that was or how it started and how it was done. This was somewhat cleared up later, in the first page of Trials and Tribulations (from Worthy). I say "somewhat" because like. Reading this page is an exercise for sanity:

Chrome-hooked appendages |breached sky, counted in triplets| stretched for miles through sun-soaked atmosphere. They bored |with deepest intentions| into the marigold sands. From the great temporal chasms |wailing mouths of creation| flowed an ocean |a second conception| of radiolarian fluid. Across the horizon |of definitive sprawl| the scene was |super-imposed design| resonant and |uniquely| multiplicative. Each injection site |form mirrored in the hundreds of thousands| fostered a new lineage in stone and steel and fluid. |They would live| the new age in sub-routine |sleep| and observation. They would foster the |metallic| seeds of a generation in |twilight| time. From the sites bubbled pools |progeny| of |endless possibility| that murmured chaotic, |lullabies of change| and wrung the Traveler's Light from Mercury. The Light coalesced |imbibed| within the pools. The planet transformed |reborn| into a |sleepless dream| machine of prediction.

Yeah. What this whole thing seems to be implying is a confirmation of Mercury being converted by the Vex during the Collapse. The Vex flooded the planet with radiolaria and drilled into it, changing its terraformed environment into a Vex world. Some of this is shown in Curse when we first visit the simulated past. The Vex appeared and started raising the spires and transforming the surface of Mercury into what we know it as. Its core was eventually fully replaced by the Infinite Forest.

After we killed Panoptes, Osiris essentially claimed the Forest for himself and returned there sort of indefinitely. He would leave years later, when he contacted us in Season of Dawn, though we know that he was periodically leaving anyway, since he was building the Sundial. It's not really been used for anything else, outside of various adventures and the quest for saving Saint which I went into in this post.

How does it all work and why?

It's always been kinda weird that the Forest was not a bigger deal, though it makes sense if we consider the out-of-game factors and the fans' general dislike of Mercury as a whole (which I personally think is a skill issue). The Forest was also difficult to work with so it was difficult to make new content for it which is probably why it was never really done, even though realistically, setting-wise, it should've.

It's mentioned in lore here and there, and Osiris spent his time there a lot up until Dawn. The Infinite Forest also alerted him that our actions drastically changed the Vex predictions which was serious and important enough for him to finally leave. So for all intents and purposes, the Forest was always a big deal, just difficult to implement into gameplay. This is quite unfortunate because it should've reasonably been something to use more, including explaining its danger a bit more in-depth over time. While Osiris did have a major influence over it post-Panoptes, the place was still largely Vex-controlled and they still had access to it.

So why is that dangerous in the first place? After all, it's just a simulation engine. That's true, but the danger is in how the Vex were using those simulations. By having access to a place that generates trillions of situations and possibilities, it allowed them to explore options that would normally be almost impossible to explore in-person, physically. Even the Vex, who can exist outside of time, would need to spend... well... time and resources to explore these options by simply time travelling. With the Forest, they could just generate them all at once, instantly, with no time passing outside of the Forest.

They could use this to simulate anything and then explore what would happen if they followed that possibility, which allowed them to predict more accurately. It allowed them to essentially run a certain scenario through every single possible iteration and see the outcome of all of them, then pick the option that suits them best and act accordingly. It could also let them study their enemies; by simulating many situations and observing how the enemies react in those situations, they could learn about the strategies their enemies use.

This is incredibly powerful and dangerous. But are there limitations to their simulations? Sort of... As we know, the Vex can't simulate Light or any other paracausality, but that doesn't necessarily mean that they can't try. This is where things get complicated because we lack a lot of the details about how this all works.

From what we can tell, the Forest can include simulations that feature paracausality and Guardians; it's seen in the intro cutscene for Curse where Osiris casually wanders into the Guardians raiding the Vault of Glass. It was also briefly mentioned in Lightfall's CE (page 28), where Elsie explores different timelines. In one of them, she finds Osiris wielding Stasis who tells her that he saw her wielding it:

"I saw glimpses of you wielding this power during my time in the Infinite Forest."

This is where things get complicated because we don't truly know if there are meaningful differences between normal simulations and simulations produced by a planet-size machine. The Vex, for all intents and purposes, can't really simulate Light and Guardians, but could they create simulations based on what they've personally experienced? After all, the Vex from the Vault of Glass experienced the Guardians raiding them; can they load up their memories and simply replay it? Would that even count as a simulation or is that simply just a recording that you can access within the Forest?

Is it accessible in other Vex spaces or is the Infinite Forest unique in some way? After all, there is also the Vex network as well as corridors of time. There's also some sort of overlap between them, according to Osiris:

...Vex security measures where the network intersects with the corridors of time.

There's even the implication that a simulation from the Forest could potentially escape the engine and enter the real world.

Sagira: Hey, team! Copies of the Cabal invasion are trapped inside the Infinite Forest. On the, uh, off chance one of them escapes, possibly armed with world-breaking Vex tech… Ghost: Wouldn’t be the first time. We’ll handle this.

There is also the whole question about timelines and realities and how that works in the Forest. Can you use the Forest to look into real timelines and realities, those that might be happening somewhere, or are they just projections and simulations of possibilities? Could you interact with them, and affect other timelines? This is an interesting question now that Echoes is going on with all the stuff about the Conductor and what's happening to Saint, but we currently don't know the answers.

What I think is the most likely is that the Infinite Forest is somehow unique and can offer a lot more than the normal Vex network; its simulation options are so well-developed and so powerful that it can genuinely simulate a lot more than the Vex usually would be able to, including showing glimpses of paracausality, especially glimpses that the Vex have themselves recorded in their interactions with Guardians. Then, they can use the Forest to try and build on that, essentially train the engine by feeding it trillions of data points to attempt to make accurate simulations that lead to good predictions.

And these seem to be the key words: accurate and prediction. The point of simulations is not just to look at things, it's to use them to be able to predict things, giving the Vex an advantage. This is directly referenced and discussed in the lore:

There's just one thing: if Osiris used the Infinite Forest to develop his prophecies, and the Infinite Forest cannot accurately simulate Light, how did Osiris predict the Traveler would wake? The Forest's very inability to predict this very thing is what prevented Panoptes from breaking ground with its apocalyptic calculations.

So what exactly is the Forest capable of? It can definitely show the past even if it involves paracausality. It can also show the future, though the accuracy of any future predictions may be in question, depending on the amount of paracausality involved. It's very much implied that it can also show other timelines and/or realities. And of course, it can simulate future possibilities, as well as show simulations of anything from the past; events or places alike. For example, Osiris simulated the Fundament, apparently:

Ghost: The Forest can generate so many Hive - it might as well be their homeworld. Sagira: We've thought about that. Ghost: Have you simulated the Hive homeworld? Sagira: Didn't go well.

If there are specific limitations, we're not sure what they may be. There probably are, but they're most likely deliberately not spelled out to prevent any kind of conflict with stuff they might want to add to the Forest later; like for example now, with Echoes. Because there's a lot of questions right now about the Forest now that Ikora has so casually told us we're going to be going back in there. So...

What happened to it?

As has been established, the Forest is physically located on Mercury. Or rather, in Mercury. Its one and only entrance is on Mercury as well. And Mercury has been eaten by the Witness over 4 years ago. So that's it then? Well no. Not only is the Forest on an inaccessible planet, it has actually been sealed, from the inside, before the planet was taken.

He struggled with his pack as a tempest beat on his eardrums. He withdrew his Infinite Simulacrum, impossibly small in this immense space, and with trembling fingers synchronized it to the frequency of the crack in the Forest. It ticked like a metronome and then… Silence. The Forest was sealed.

Instead of evacuating, Brother Vance decided to stay on Mercury, go into the Forest, and seal it. I go about it for a long time in this post, but basically he believed that it would be really bad if the Pyramids gained access to the Forest. He also believed that the Sundial did something to the timelines and that the Pyramids could exploit that, as well as the Infinite Forest being somehow "the key to all of this."

He also wanted to use the Forest to... spread hope. Through the timelines?

"I will walk into the Infinite Forest and spread hope, Guardian."

He essentially wanted to do something and prove that even Lightless people can still help. He appeared to be willing to die for this, which is quite strange mostly because this whole idea and endeavour wasn't in the name of Osiris. Hell, in a way, it was about doing something to fix the unknown consequences of Osiris' meddling with the timelines.

You notice Vance's hands are balled tightly at his sides. "The Pyramids draw close. Through this system and beyond, the Lightless are filled with fear. I am no Osiris, true, but in my small way, I will bring light to their darkness." There is clarity in his voice. "I will tell them they must believe."

Since I've gone into it in the other post in a lot more details, I won't go into it here again, although I could. But the point that I want to get across is that the sealing of the Infinite Forest was quite a significant part of Arrivals and the whole plot of the evacuation of Mercury (or rather the non-evacuation of Mercury; the sole reason for Vance staying was to seal the Forest).

In another post (you'll have to scroll through the back-and-forth insanity) I also mentioned how much of Vance's story in Arrivals seemed to be connected to him losing his mind about the effects of the Sundial on the timelines. It also directly links to the Perfect Paradox. All of these things have been quite prominently connected to this episode, especially the stuff with the Sundial and what Osiris has done with it and how it may or may not have affected the timelines and, most of all, Saint and the whole ordeal of saving him.

It's fairly unclear how many characters know what happened to the Forest though. The YW knows obviously because Vance told us directly. I do believe that Zavala would also know as we reported back to him, which also most likely extends to Ikora as well. Another issue is that we don't really have any specific proof that the sealing was successful or permanent. It seems like it was, but a lot of stuff could've happened in the past 4 years of Mercury being in an anomaly.

As I've mentioned many times before, Mercury is the last unsolved plot from Arrivals; as in, we genuinely don't know anything about it. Mars has returned in WQ and Ana's side of the story was concluded in Seraph. While Io is still gone, Asher's story was concluded in Defiance through Avalon. Titan returned in Deep, which solved the story of the planet and also Sloane. We know why these planets were taken (with the exception of Io, though it's fair to assume it had something to do with the Pyramidion because of Asher's story being tied to it), and we know what happened to all of the vendors. Except Mercury and Vance; two things inherently connected to the Infinite Forest.

We don't truly know why Mercury was yoinked, though it's once again fair to assume it was most likely for the Forest. But you know. It got sealed so the Witness couldn't do anything with it and we have no idea what it was doing with Mercury all this time. We also don't know what the hell was Vance on about when he talked about the "anchored timelines" and how the Forest is incredibly important to everything. Due to how unreliable he is, it could just be his usual cringefail. After all, Osiris himself did not have any plans for the Forest himself; he was upset that he'd lose it, but he didn't think anything more about it, even if during Dawn he insisted that the Forest cannot be sealed or destroyed yet.

But also I think dismissing it all is an easy mistake to make, and possibly a deliberate one. Everything with Vance is written to be as easy to dismiss as possible, but he did know certain things that were absolutely correct and real. Not to go on about the tones again, but. Yeah. And given the current situation...

Echoes

Failsafe has come up with a plan for which she needs data from the Vex. She specifically needs data that can be compared to the altered Vex on Nessus, so we need large amounts of information that hasn't been changed or messed with. She concluded that the best source of that data would be Saint's dead body. It exists in a specific space (and time) and would have this information; information that has not been altered or influenced by anything else because that Saint is dead and preserved as is.

Failsafe explained this to Ikora and Ikora agreed that this is the best source, she's just worried about how this will affect Osiris and Saint. She doesn't want us to tell them. So next reset, we're going to the Infinite Forest to find Saint's tomb again. Yay!

But like. How?

They presented this so casually, with Ikora even saying that the best "accessible" source of this data is the Forest and Saint's tomb. And I know that they know that we know that Mercury is gone and that the Forest was sealed. But they've already showed us the gate to the Forest on Nessus, twice: in the mini showcase and then in the intro to the season in-game:

The first picture is showing the gate when it's open. And yes, this specific portal effect has only ever been used for the Forest. The second image shows the gate when it's closed with that impenetrable barrier. The structure itself is different from the original; it's worn down, coloured differently and doesn't have the same tip - instead there's the weird orb and the statue. It looks far more Nessus-like, and closer to present-day Vex, or maybe future Vex. But it's guarded by Precursors, so I don't know. It definitely doesn't look like the original however.

We clearly aren't going to Mercury. And even if we were, how would we enter? Neither Failsafe nor Ikora have mentioned this little problem and it seems as if they already know that the gate is on Nessus; I assume they'll discuss the details of this in the Act 2 finale next week. But the problem is that without all of this context, how do they even explain the issue with the Forest? They can always shorten this to some reasonable quick explanation, but they still have to explain how are we entering the Forest. There's a few key problems.

Obviously, number 1 is that the Forest is on Mercury and as of now Mercury is still in the anomaly.

The Forest itself is sealed from the inside.

So far it has not been possible (or at least not known to us) to enter the Forest from any other location. As we've seen, Osiris spent years looking for the entrance and back in Arrivals he was quite upset about losing the Forest. If he simply had the ability to enter it without being physically on Mercury, then why bother or lament Mercury's loss?

It is, to our knowledge, one of a kind. It took quite a tremendous effort to build it and it requires a lot of power to run; a whole planet.

Possible solutions:

Mercury is back and Ikora hasn't told anyone yet because she doesn't want anyone to go there yet; perhaps it's in quarantine. I don't think this is very likely, but it's possible.

Opening a gate to the Forest from another location IS possible and we just didn't know about it.

Opening a gate to the Forest from another location is possible only because of the situation with the Echo; a powerful source of paracausal power can maybe help us do this remotely. So this simply wasn't an option before the Echo's existence.

The Vex and the Conductor have built or are still building a new Forest inside of Nessus this time. The Vex lost access to the original, either simply because of the anomaly or because it was sealed or both, so now with the Echo they're just doing it again, and better. So the Forest we're going into is not the original, but a new one; the assumption being that the data from the old Forest is accessible to the Vex so the new Forest can essentially run the same code as the old one, allowing us access to Saint's tomb.

The Vex and the Conductor only have to build a new gate that can lead us to the old Forest, despite it being in an anomaly and despite it being sealed. It essentially just brute forced another door.

And the possibilities in regards to it being sealed:

As I mentioned before, maybe the sealing wasn't as successful as we (or Vance) thought.

Vance is somehow still alive and he will open it for us from the inside, essentially concluding his role from Arrivals.

Maybe the sealing wasn't permanent; either the Vex could eventually counteract this, or Vance couldn't hold it closed for very long. He's a Lightless man and it's quite dubious how long he could survive inside. Maybe the seal automatically broke when (if?) he died.

If we're going with the option that this is a new gate to the old Forest, then as I said before, this may simply be able to counteract the seal.

If we're dealing with a completely new Forest, the seal may simply not even be in effect. The old Forest is sealed, but we're not going to the old one so it doesn't matter.

What I'm assuming is that Osiris could open the gate if he saw one again, so if the gate is simply now on Nessus (either to a new Forest or connecting to the old one), Osiris can just use his cubes as he did before and open it again, counteracting the seal. Vance's device used to seal it was made from Osiris' notes anyway, so I'm assuming it's something similar to the cubes. In that case it can just be opened with the same thing.

Ikora will just blast it open like she did back in Curse. Seal or no seal, new or old Forest, she doesn't give a shit,

There's an option for all of these that's basically just they don't mention it all. I don't think this is very likely, but hey. It's possible!

I've been running these scenarios in my head for days. Actually, I've been running them ever since the showcase for Echoes showed us the gate to the Forest, but this significantly increased when this week confirmed that we are indeed heading in there. And it was delivered so matter-of-factly as if there aren't any of these problems and scenarios I listed above. This is baffling me. I know there will be some explanations offered, but the setup completely blindsided me with how it was delivered. Ikora with the simple "Oh yeah the best place to grab data from is the Infinite Forest. Pack it up boys." And I'm standing there with a 8 hours long presentation asking her to explain how. She blocks my number on vannet.

Perhaps the situation is far simpler than I'm making it out to be. It would be really easy to just write the old Forest and Mercury away as being permanently lost. That way you don't have to explain or deal with any of the stuff with the anomaly or the yoinkening or Vance's shenanigans. I will obviously remain forever unhinged about it if that's the case because I simply need to know what happened, but it's the easiest way to deal with this. The Echo allowed the Vex to make a new Forest, they're using massive amounts of radiolaria and the core of Nessus to just recreate it all, then they copied all the data from the old one into it, booted it up and that's it.

But what if the seal is in effect? Or what if we're dealing with the old Forest on Mercury that's still in the anomaly? How do they plan to deal with that in a single mission? Well... We have no clue.

Bungie article lore time, but back last year in the State of the Game article, they said this about the pvp map Multiplex:

Although many of us had been thinking about a lo-fi Vex map for the Crucible, the challenge of this palette was the possible lack of player orientation in the play space. We thought bringing the Mars palette into the Vex Network realm would be a great way to mitigate this while adding an evocative look. Narratively, the space is in the middle of compiling the Infinite Forest, so this is what you’ll see in action.

Yes, while everyone was losing their mind about this article, I was looking for lore about the Infinite Forest. But yeah. It seems like they have information about it in the network and they were using it to compile that information; perhaps preparing to make a new one? Or simply using it for data.

So essentially, the Vex could have enough information about the Forest to recreate it, and better now with the Echo, which would allow us to simply bypass the anomaly and the Forest being locked, while allowing us to enter and still find Saint's tomb. This is by far the easiest solution.

But I want a conclusion on Mercury and Vance. I feel like this episode is the only time to really do that and they've been giving us so many Mercury things already, clearly showing that it was a big inspiration for it all. The music, the assets, the enemies. This includes the stuff about Saint and his grave, as well as the whole thing with the Perfect Paradox. There's still Act 3 of course and some still unknown exotic mission, but I feel like the quest that has us literally going into the Infinite Forest to revisit a place not even from Dawn, but from Curse, is the best spot to also deal with this.

I just have no idea how that's going to happen and I wanted to list out the stuff that would have to be somehow addressed and solved, even if the solution ends up being the simplest one. I also wanted to try and list some information about the Forest itself since this thing has not been in the game for years. I hope this was useful and that it explains things well.

Anyway, I've spent the whole week pacing around my room like a wild animal. Help.

In conclusion:

[fellamarsh]

another thing i've been trying to do recently is read more self-published stuff. "but fell," you say, "you're a self-published author. surely you've been reading self-published stuff all along" and then i laugh for so long in response we both become uncomfortable.

see, the fear (which has for a long time been killing my mind) that i'll read other self-published stuff and find out that it's so much better than mine that i might as well stop writing forever kept me from doing that basically ever. i have a hard time not unfavorably comparing my work to others and had convinced myself i was being smart by withholding an avenue of de-motivation (reader: i was not being smart). it also doesn't help that i'm pretty low income and have a hard time spending money on books i haven't already read, and that self-published stuff isn't always available at the library---but really a lot of it was just me being a coward. which i'm working on. i could talk about how this particular cowardice is Very Silly, but i think enough has been said about it on writeblr and in the Writing Space in general that i don't feel the need to (though i will if anyone wants me to).

instead, i wanna talk about the self-published things i have read in the past few months and ask about the self-published things you love!

so: what happened was i got real sick, and while i was real sick i (naturally) read over 200,000 words of ace attorney fan fiction in the span of a few days. eventually i got bored of it (and also maybe annoyed at how people were characterizing some of my guys), but i still wanted to read something gay and romantic and nice, something i knew was gonna end happily, which isn't my typical fare.

now you may be saying (having gotten over all the uncomfortable laughter from earlier) "fell, you write gay romance. what do you mean that's not your typical fare?" listen. until a couple months ago i hadn't read a cut and dry romance novel since before i finished college. for context: i graduated in 2015. i know it doesn't make sense. i'm a guy who doesn't make sense.

but in this case it worked to my advantage. not the not making sense thing, but the not having read Published Romance in 1000 years thing. I didn't know where to start. I was very skeptical of everything the library had Available Now in the Gay Fantasy Romance category. what if it was all bad and also not good?

and then i scrolled past the familiar cover of our very own @ashen-crest's A Rival Most Vial.

now this was comfortable territory! this was a novel by a very nice writeblr person whose posts i enjoy! i already loosely knew the plot, i was familiar with the characters, i knew the names of things like rosemond street and the griffin's claw and that ambrose had blue hair and that at the end of it all there would definitely be Boyfriends. i didn't have to worry that this would be bad! i only had to worry that it would be really good!

but i wasn't worried about that, because i was officially Not Writing at the time, and because why the hell hadn't i read this book yet Ash literally emailed me some very kind words last year when my cat died??

Y'all, I devoured ARMV. If you haven't read it yet---especially if cozy fantasy is more your thing than it is mine---you should check it out Immediately. It was fun! It was heartwarming! It was sweet and earnest and confident! I was delighted to find it was occasionally hot! Ambrose and Eli snuggled up into my sick exhausted heart and found a permanent little place there. (Especially Ambrose. I have such a thing for Stiff Guys who Kind of Suck for Tragic Backstory Reasons and are So So Lonely They Don't Even Realize It. gawd)

(And a very small part of my brain spent the whole time wondering why I had been so afraid to really engage with the work my community is doing. The community that I'm in. The one I'm a part of. Why?! Maybe more on that later.)

But from there the curse was broken! I immediately devoured @stjohnstarling's What Manner of Man in a similar sort of frenzy (and hooooly shit guys am I excited for the expanded, finalized version to come out at the end of next month!) and started digging into @lurinatftbn's The Flower that Bloomed Nowhere (which I can already tell is going to be an All Time Favorite).

And now I want to ask you what your favorite self-published books are so that I can read them, too, but I think I will in another post that doesn't dedicate so much space to talking about my various and sundry Issues and isn't Terminally Long

[xyl4-4444]

Happy (belated) 13th anniversary Twilight Forest mod!!! Thank you for bringing so many minecraft players good memories!!

[mxwhore]

ghoulish girlfriends ♡

[justsomeoneunordinary]

There are a bajillion Marriage Hunt AUs and not a single one for HashiMito. I don't even like the trope because bride kidnapping was a real thing where men captured the women they wanted to marry and then raped them - and to me, personally, that's reason enough not to enjoy a romanticized version of it. But see, I'm a spiteful bitch and the fact that there are so many MadaTobi and TobiIzu Marriage AU fics but not a single HashiMito one makes me want to have one now.

So...

This is Hashirama's fourth time participating as a hunter in a marriage hunt. The last three times, he claimed he hadn't been able to capture anyone, which is a bald-faced lie considering he's one of the strongest shinobi in all of Hi no Kuni if not even all elemental nations, and the elders know it. But it's not like they can do anything about it except force him strongly suggest to participate in another one.

This time, however, he is considering taking the hunt seriously for once. One of the possible brides is a Nara - the second child of the current clan head. Albeit unfortunately a man, thus not possible to grant Hashirama heirs, which the elders will have objections about (even though they only care about the Mokuton, which they know only appears in every few generations, so the chances that a child of his would inherit the Mokuton are practically zero), he has heard of the intellect that runs through Nara clan head's family.

The first child would've been more fitting, for one she's a woman, and for another she's rumored to be the smartest Nara as of yet, but as the direct heir, she naturally can't marry out. So Hashirama will have to do with the younger brother instead. He isn't sure if he wants to have sex with a man, but Hashirama has never been fond of tradition anyway so he may as well just ignore this one, too. What he needs, is someone strategic to help him make peace with the Uchiha, and since Tobirama is unwilling to hear him out, he may as well capture himself a personal strategist via a marriage contract.

(And here Tobirama always claimed Hashirama can't think ahead. Ha, take this!)

Sure, if it was up to Hashirama, he'd prefer his future wife someone to be he has already gotten to know and has had time to court and develop feelings for but since he's clan head, he can't have everything he wants, so this is his next best option.

When the hunt starts, however, Hashirama doesn't immediately chase after the Nara whose name he unfortunately already forgot. He keeps an eye on him, to see what kind of traps he comes up with against his pursuers, and if Hashirama is impressed enough, he will try to strike a conversation with him and see, how he feels about the notion of peace. And only then will he decide if he will capture the man into marriage or not.

For now, he just runs nonsensically into the forest, which is all the more surprising when golden chains wind around him and capture him in a hard grip that makes him stumble and almost fall to the ground.

"Wha-?"

"Senju Hashirama," he hears Uzumaki Mito's voice at the other side of the chains, standing proudly a few branches behind him, her chin held high and her expression smug, "I, Uzumaki Mito, declare my intention to hunt you for marriage. Do you accept?"

Her tone is steady and imperious but not unkind. Hashirama blinks in confusion.

"But I am registered as a hunter and not bride-to-be?" he helpfully points out.

"Not anymore," Mito says and gestures to his wrist, retracting her chains from his person, now that she has his full attention. Where a blue bracelet should be that identifies him as a hunter is now a red one instead. A bride's bracelet.

Hashirama gapes. "How--?"

He had noticed Mito's hard stare before the hunt had begun. And when he had looked over to see who kept staring holes into him, Mito hadn't even had the decency to look away, had just looked at him with an intense gaze, not paying attention to the rules of the hunt that were being read aloud. Hashirama had wondered if there had been something on his face and prayed it wasn't leftover from his breakfast.

Now he wonders how she managed to exchange his bracelet without anyone noticing, including him, all the while she had been lined up quite a few paces away from him with two other hunters between them.

"I can't marry out, I am clan head," he then mentions carefully, although Mito knows already as much. They have, after all, met a handful of times already. But it bears mentioning, since Mito seems to have forgotten how a marriage hunt works.

"I am aware. And I am, of course, willing to marry into my wife's clan instead. My wife's duty takes precedence over the nature of our marriage."

Huh. Hashirama has met Mito before, so he knows she's a smart woman - Ashina's head strategist even. She's witty and incredibly skilled at the arts of sealing. She's also an exceptionally beautiful woman, which is not important in this context, but Hashirama can't help but notice anyway. And right now, something akin to fear and hope shimmers in those coal-dark eyes, in contrast to the confident pose she's holding.

So, stupidly, Hashirama doesn't think twice when he answers, "I accept."

The brilliant smile Mito gifts him then is all the confirmation he needs that this was the right decision. He may not have had the time to properly court Mito and get to know her better, but he can tell without a doubt, this will be more than worth it.

Without further ado, Hashirama runs.

[out-of-the-forest-i-come]

frankly I feel like it's not possible to describe Running Close to the Wind in a way that will truly do it justice because I went in with high expectations and it still blew my mind and is one of my favourite books of 2024... so I guess the only way for you guys to find out is to read it

So listen i have this book coming out in uhhh 10 days and I am Worried about it, because it is a Comedy, and comedy is really hard to market (why????? it's funny pirates, what's not to like??) even when it is, yanno, normal mainstream comedy.

It is even worse when it is Unhinged Comedy That's Mostly Going To Be Funny To People On Tumblr. (For example, the main character being a supreme gremlin made of 90% memes by weight (examples: carries around a bag that is never called anything but his "little rucksack"; has a near-verbatim "stick me legy out real far" moment; talks about his metaphorical "orphan gruel bowl" which is a direct reference to that one Oliver Twist gif) because those are funny to me personally.) Unhinged Tumblr Comedy is difficult because tumblr is not a platform where it is easy to market things to people, because we are generally violently anti-capitalist and LOATHE advertisements and reflexively resist being marketed to for most anything. I LOVE that about this website. Except for right now, because I have bills to pay and a cat to feed. So look, fellow tumblr gremlins, I am just trying to say that if your personal brand of comedy is laughing at the kind of jokes that could only be produced on this hell website, and:

you like pirates

you're queer and want to read more books by queer authors

you want your fictional queer characters to be a hell of a lot more Messy and Unhinged than they often are depicted as being

you're interested in seeing a love triangle (M/M/NB) that resolves into polyamory

you want books where the hottest character gets to makes Passionate Speeches about rebelling against oppressive institutional regimes like governments and organized religions

you believe that capitalism is the most oppressive institutional regime of them all

you think it's fun when two characters have been in a 15-year-long relationship where the vibes have been "We're Newly Divorced" nearly since day one

you believe that All Cops Are Bastards and want to know what to do when you get pulled over by the boat cops

you think the Great British Bake-Off would be improved with weaponry, ritualized bribery/coercion of judges, and elaborate shit-talk

then this book might be for you. Beneath the wall-to-wall hijinks, it is political and it is righteously angry and it is the funniest thing I have ever written (which is saying something, because I have written some funny shit). It's called RUNNING CLOSE TO THE WIND. Here's a picture of it.

If all that sounds cool, you can read a review of it here and the first chapter of it here to see if it as funny as I am claiming it is, and then if you think that it is, you can preorder it here. It comes out on June 11! Ten days from now!

Thank you for letting me market to you for a minute. Signal boosting would be very much appreciated.

[out-of-the-forest-i-come]

Queer romance recs for the summer

Summer is here and I know many like to read more lighthearted books during that time, so here are some queer romances I've really enjoyed and that I think are perfect for the summer.

Anything by F.T. Lukens. Most specifically, those I've read are So This Is Ever After, In Deeper Waters, and Otherworldly. If you're looking for cute queer romantasy novels to read this summer, look no further. F.T. Lukens' books are fun and lighthearted even when they deal with heavier topics, and they contain mlm, mlnb, and nb rep.

Running Close to the Wind by Alex Rowland. I've talked about this book before and I'll probably talk about it many more times because I adored it. It's hilarious and refreshing even though it handles some heavy topics, so if you like pirates, accidental treason, and dirty jokes, this book is perfect for you. In terms of representation, it has polyamory rep, various sexualities, and intersex (if I remember correctly) and non-binary rep.

Gwen and Art Are Not In Love by Lex Croucher. This book is an adorable, fun romance set in a historical setting inspired by Arthurian times. It's perfect if you're looking for not one but two forbidden romances, banter and adventure, humour, and wlw and mlm rep.

Delilah Green Doesn't Care by Ashley Herring Blake. I remember I absolutely loved this book when I read it during the summer a couple of years ago, and my feelings after two years are still the same. This book is an adult romance novel (with one or two sex scenes) with vivid and complex characters, amazing sapphic rep, and a fantastic romance. Even better, it's a completed trilogy, and though I've yet to read the two other books, I'm sure they're great too.

Carry On by Rainbow Rowell. You've probably already heard of this one, and it is a book I've really enjoyed. Carry On is fun and captivating, and reads easily.

She Gets the Girl by Rachael Lippincott and Alyson Derrick. A cute love story inspired directly from the real-life romance between the authors (who are married, if I'm not mistaken), and a great way to cheer yourself up.

Café con Lychee by Emery Lee. I read this book a couple years ago already, but it was super cute and it read so easily that I finished it in a day. If you're looking for a light-heared, coming-of-age mlm romance, then this is the book for you.

Boyfriend Material by Alexis Hall. Last but not least, one of my favourite books from last year. Boyfriend Material is a hilarious mlm romance that somehow manages to be a light read even though it deals with some dark topics. The characters are amazing, their relationship and how it develops even more so, and this book was an immediate favourite for me. Some people have disliked the sequel, Husband Material, but I loved it just as much, and the third and final book is due to come out some time next year.

[weekly-whitewing]

Could I request Squirrelflight, Leafpool and Whitewing together (or one of the siblings if it's too many cats)? They don't really have a close bond in the books despite being kin and in the same apprentice generation and I always found it a missed opportunity.

WHITEWING EVERY WEEK NR 20

I feel like Whitepaw would be interested in herbs and pay attention to what Leafpaw is saying while Squirrelpaw is completely distracted by being in the forest adult free.

Whitepaw would be an older sister figure to them, in where she listens to both of them and 100% tries (and fails) to keep them out of trouble.

Unfortunatly canon forgot Whitepaw was older than them, so she can be the sweet baby than¹ the sisters like if you wanna make her younger than Leafie and Skwerl!

Also trying out different styles cuz I am really bored of my old backgrounds lol

[bigcats-birds-and-books]

Daisy Chaining; Or, Connecting the TBR!

Does anybody besides me like to find Connections between Seemingly/Largely Unrelated Books and use those connections to plot a route through the old TBR?? I don't know about you, but I have a LOT of books I want to read, and sometimes I get Whelmed™ by my choices. So I'll either pick a small stack and make that a particular month's micro-TBR (good if I have specific Goals!), OR I'll start with something I really want to read, and I'll daisy chain from there.

For example: I'd been waiting for TRANSLATION STATE to release in paperback since the hardback was announced (because Translators, my beloveds). So I annihilated that in a couple days (it was very good, all right??), and then I had to figure out where to go next despite cruising on the Translators High.

Because the Translators' fucked up body horror (which I mean mostly affectionately, but I'm side eyeing the matching pretty hard) was at times....goopy...I thought a book about a shapeshifter whose default form is an amorphous lump would be good next, which got me to SOMEONE YOU CAN BUILD A NEST IN (which I also enjoyed!! shout-out to @asexualbookbird for gifting it to meee!!).

Since NEST is Monsters in a Fantasy Forest with a side of Politics and Power, my next read is THE BUTCHER OF THE FOREST (because it's also...wait for it...Monsters in a Fantasy Forest with a side of Politics and Power). And after that, I'll come OUT of the forest with AT THE EDGE OF THE WOODS, which promises to be weird and vaguely monstrous but with a literary bent (I put it on one of my writing TBR lists, and my general "read this by the end of 2024" list).

So, yeah! That's how you daisy chain to get from SF to fantasy/horror to fantasy to weird Lit Fic in the span of four (4) books, while maintaining something like a continuity. By the end of the year, my Books Read shelf looks a little chaotic, but there generally really is a rhyme AND a reason about it!

(Please click on the photo for better image quality! I edited it weirdly compared to usual and it looks good on my screen but ah. Less So, in tungledlandia.,.,)

[out-of-the-forest-i-come]

Someone already recommended it but La Passe-Miroir by Christelle Dabos is a must (four-book fantasy series). I would also suggest Vango by Timothée de Fombelle (historical fiction but Timothée de Fombelle's books always have a really mystical vibe to them). If you don't mind reading books that are somewhere between Middle grade and Young adult, then Tara Duncan by Sophie Audouin-Mamikonian is a great series to read.

If you want to read classics, I agree that old French could be a little hard but I recommend trying (if you can) to get your hands on editions made for high schoolers or middle school students because some of the language will be simplified or the complex words will be explained. Some of these editions include the Bibliolycée collection by Hachette, Classicolycée by Belin/Gallimard or Oeuvres & thèmes by Hatier. Otherwise, the Arsène Lupin books don't have that much old language and are amazing (and should be available in the public domain if you want to read on a kindle or your phone).

Hi y’all ! I don’t usually do original posts but I need book recs

I would like to read more in French as I am French but it is CLEARLY my second language, however I’m having trouble finding books because I’m picky. Essentially I want to save the bookblr romance/fantasy books for English reading but keep the books I’m reading in French interesting.

(The last thing I read in French was 1984 and i was thinking about reading the classics in French but I’m afraid that it’s going to be too hard to read)

Thanks to everyone who can help!

[lycanlovebites]

I’m having normal thoughts about boys right now ok (I have a deep visceral need to hunt someone through the forest, nothing but the sound of him gasping and breaking through the brush with his heartbeat thrumming like an animal of its own in his chest and in my ears, my paws beating against the earth as I race after him, teeth clicking and practically foaming at the mouth at his scent. Just him and me in the dead of night. And when I finally catch him I pin him to the ground and fuck his brains out under the full moon <3 )

I can be left alone with a pretty guy in the middle of the night under a full moon. Yeah just leave him by the forest :) no yeah don’t worry abt it haha yeah I’m just gonna go out for a run :) it will be good for me and also him. Enrichment :) being hunted by a big werewolf counts as a couples exercise right

[askthebadkidz]

Riz would kill the other Bad Kids in a heartbeat for any reason (possession, evil, etc) and it’s considered (one of) his form(s) of love this is not a joke post this is canon.

-Fig Mod

[andy-clutterbuck]

4x16 | A