#these are just my own thoughts and analysis of the characters

[jywllkr]

DR S3 P2 LEAKS

a long analysis about Jay's character. w/pictures

this is going to be a bit messy cuz english isn't my first language,,, but fuck thattt.

what irks me about that last Jaya scene from the leaks is when Nya told Jay she thought she saw his old self—and that she was wrong

knowing the fact she doesn’t even know what happened to him after the Merge, or what he went through before he shattered whatever was left of his goodness, all while dealing with amnesia alone

we can all agree on how the way the ninja, Nya and Lloyd in this case, keep trying to shove the image of who Jay used to be onto someone who’s clearly not himself anymore,,,it's just a bad move overall

We still don’t know why Jay left the Administration. he didn’t just leave, he escaped

the thing about the Administration is that;

the Administration knew who Jay is on a personal level (they were searching for him specifically)

Jay doesn’t want anyone there knowing he’s the elemental master of lightning

and then he was clearly upset with the Administration right after he wasn't involved with them too

Jay is absolutely sure that the Administration, the one he naively trusted at first, lied about something. lied to such a degree that he was visibly upset. and another thing we know about his state during his time there, according to Bonzle, is that his heart just wasn’t really in it

that already tells us a lot about Jay’s position here. remember, he still had his goodness during all of this. the fact that he left must mean he found out the Administration was doing something seriously wrong, and he didn’t want to be a part of it

then Ras came along, again, during the time Jay still had his goodness. Jay genuinely thought Ras was a good guy and ended up believing the Ninja weren’t thanks to his manipulation

now that he left Ras shattered and betrayed, he probably stopped believing there’s any good in people at all. add some major trust issues into the mix

and as far as the lore of this franchise goes, one of Jay’s core traits is that he dislike lying—especially after Season 6. bro literally judged Nya for telling a white lie to Arin’s parents.

I’m kinda guessing here, but Jay’s probably testing the waters with Nya and the rest of the ninja, trying to figure out whether they’re actually safe to trust or not

So far, he’s been extremely blunt about what he thinks,,,he doesn’t exactly lie to the ninja. despite how mean sounding most of them are, Jay is just being bluntly honest

It’s sad to see this “silly” scene on its own, because Jay genuinely believes he never had any goodness to begin with

probably because his first memory was working in the Administration, a place he ended up escaping from for some unknown or bad reason, and he was stuck there for who knows how long

and also because he trusted Ras. the guy he thought was a good person/better than the administration

So, a little conclusion: the obvious reason why Jay only thinks about himself and not others right now is because this kind of thing has happened to him way too often

If he’s going to lean on other people, he needs to see two things

that they’re being truthful

that they’re not trying to force him into being someone he’s not

and as of now, the ninja fail both of those checks—so Jay’s nowhere near ready to believe in them

a little thing I wanted to point out too,,,,Jay left the group right after they were at the Spectral Land’s Monastery. It’s pretty odd because he could’ve left when they were waiting for Sora and Arin to come back from the junkyard. but he didn’t

the reason he probably stayed with them was just to make sure they arrived there safely, knowing how dangerous that place is. and why he wants to go there willingly?

he probably wants to see some truth from the ninja themselves when he’s not involved with them (since we’re all guessing this is Jay following Nya in this scene)

and he might be picking Nya because he’s drawn to her the most, even if he realize it or not

last but not least

I couldn’t stop thinking about this one scene from episode 3 because it went straight to Jay’s picture (who ironically enough is the only one smiling in the picture) when she explained the main core of the ninja. being selfless and caring about people

it was all now shown in the series that Jay’s core personality is still there despite being shattered. being absolutely terrible at jokes and playing video games are two of them

so the question is,,, is there more to Jay that we haven’t seen yet?

POINTS THE OBVIOUS 👆

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oh also. this part??? I bet you is a foreshadow

anyways yea,,, sorry if my writing's hard to digest. I'm no writer or whatever, but I need to yap about this

[vero-lynn]

Do you really think Brian blames Tim for everything that's happened?

Tim didn't know the sickness could spread, he didn't even connect the dots about the Operator in the entries being the same monster he'd seen in his childhood until much later.

As for forgetting Brian, the sickness causes amnesia, Brian should know that better than anyone, Tim wasn't aware of Brian's whereabouts after college because of said amnesia, he had probably tried to reach out at some point but it might have been after Alex killed him for the first time. Tim may have thought that Brian just moved on from him since he didn't reach out either, Tim had never formed a relationship with someone prior to Brian, the only one he had before was with his mother who left him in a psych ward as a kid which probably gave him some kind of abandonment complex, after never hearing back from Brian he might have felt that he should have seen it coming, that just like his mother no one else would actually want him around. Tim lived life as normal afterwards because that was all he could really do.

This isn't a jab at any of your analyses about Brian btw, I think you're probably the only person in the fandom who understands his character best and I love reading all your posts about him. I'm just asking this from the viewpoint of my own analysis of MH, and I'd really like to know what you think.

Smiles at you so cutely, thank you for this ask..

TLDR for everything I'm about to say: NO!!!!! NO. Brian doesn't, but I MYSELF DO. I always try to make sure that it's obvious it's my personal beef with Tim, not Brian's, but...

Let me yap about this, get comfortable..

SO BRIAN. That's a man that loves so much and so genuine. He's a lover and a giver.

He doesn't HATE. He never HATES anyone other than ALEX. Alex is the only person he has genuine hatred for and who he wants DEAD - AND YET!! He's unable to kill him himself. He is okay with holding the gun for as long as someone else pulls the trigger.

Now, you mentioned the sickness and that Tim didn't know, well, do you know who DID know? MASKY. Someone had to come to Brian, give him a camera and tell him to cover up his face, pointing him in the right directions - that being stalking and recording Alex because something was wrong with him. Obviously Brian would know that his best friend is changing, so he followed along. We know that he's been stalking Alex BECAUSE he's missing in entry 17 and 20. He's not there. He's... Somewhere! He should be on set but he's simply not! Or he's feeling sick! He himself is getting sicker and sicker the longer he's stalking Alex.

No, Brian doesn't blame Tim/Masky for this.

Brian and Masky had to be working together while marble hornets was being recorded, they knew it was important, but later on, after everyone is gone, Masky/Tim never go out of their way to follow Alex and finish the job, we know this because Tim is living a normal life FAR FAR away from where Alex is, HE HIMSELF doesn't even know he moved.

No, Brian doesn't blame him for forgetting about him, but he is bitter about him not finishing the job and not coming with him to do so. We see that in TTA and the constant calling out and mocking from Hoody. (Messages is a good example, and so is BROADCAST that's posted right after Masky's leg gets broken. Are you drowning?)

In short, Brian doesn't hate Tim. He doesn't blame him for anything. He knows his situation and not once would he be angry at him for his choices. He doesn't WANT to hurt him, but he IS willing to do so to get what he wants and what they all need. (The pills, and Alex dead and gone.)

Tim is incapable of going straight for the kill, that's what Masky was always good at. He needs Masky to come out so they can hunt Alex down and kill him. Tim won't help him. He knows this. Tim is aggressive towards him, Tim doesn't remember him, but again, MASKY does. He doesn't hurt Tim just to see him suffer, he doesn't want that! At all! But there's simply no other way. And he's willing to take it.

Even after he dies, he NEVER. EVER. Blames or is mad at Tim for it. He's so relieved he's okay and safe and ALIVE. That's all he wanted. THAT'S ALL HE WANTED. He doesn't blame him for his own death, but the ark is pushing him with the whole "I KILLED YOU! AND YOU'LL DIE HERE SLOWLY BECAUSE OF ME!" nightmare he had with Tim's mask. And yet.. he doesn't. He loves Tim. He never stopped.

His actions are out of anger and frustration, sure, but the deep love and care never left. He never wanted to hurt anyone.

I do though, I hate Tim for how he treated Hoody. I don't care that it was a stranger, you can see that a person is sick with the same disease YOU have medicine for and you're unwilling to help them even if all THEY did was to help and guide your ass. He's a hypocrite to me, and I understand his reasonings, but I'll never not be bitter about it. -- that's a whole different thing though haha...

MY DMS ARE ALWAYS OPENED FOR DISCUSSIONS BTW!! I LOVE TO YAP!!

[0viraptoraskblog]

Hello, I hope you're doing well, I love the things you write!

This is probably going to be a long one. It turns out that ever since I discovered btd 1 and 2, and tpof, I've always been really curious about Ren's character. I imagine that just like me, people must have been surprised to see how he had become in Tpof. I'm SO excited for Ykmet! I know this game is mainly focused on Strade, because of course his name is there! XD

I love him too, but I'm particularly looking forward to seeing the parts with Ren. I know about the changes that Gato has prepared for him, and I hope they're positive, I trust what she's doing.

Anyway! I think I've gone on too long. The thing is, since I finished Tpof, I haven't found many people who give analysis to the older Ren character. I don't know if I'm looking in the wrong place, but I always thought tumblr was the best place to look, because the fandom seems more active here.

There were many things I didn't understand, because I'm terrible at analyzing, I try, but I constantly feel like I end up overthinking, my head always tries to provide several explanations like A, B, C, D, and it goes beyond that.

From your perspective, opinions and thoughts on the DLC, what do you think people often miss about Fox? Something you noticed that some people probably didn't. I would particularly like to know about your interpretation of the ending. Yes, I know it's straightforward and clear, he saves us. But I've always wondered about his motivations. I think that conversation we have with him in the bunker affects him, but in what way? What are his thoughts? And what are his thoughts about us after that?

I constantly noticed that he was also always adjusting his posture in his streams, and in the third one when he bites and then licks the wound on Mc's neck, then he looks almost embarrassed. Was it just because he got too excited or was it something else that i didn't catch because im too stupid? lmao

I'll end the ask here or it will be too long, I apologize for that, and if I didn't manage to express my questions very well

(although, if you answer this, I hope it's okay if I ask a bit more)

I think Fox has built this new version of himself based on being in control. He used to be a captive, always weary of Strade, and then trying and failing to be in control of MC in btd2 (who either died or escaped, given that this is Ren’s darker path). After that, he wanted to be in control for once.

He runs the entire auction system, he has his own show, and he’s incredibly good at what he does. That security not only makes him confident in what he does now, but it makes him finally like who he is (at least, he thinks.)

Young Ren was struggling a lot with his image and self worth, in terms of being treated as a pet/property, being abused, and then convincing himself that it was all because Strade loved him. Those years affected his mind so much. When his plan with MC went wrong after the second game, I think he realized that he should have been following Strade’s advice more. He fell back into that mental state of idolizing Strade and his way of doing things, his way of thinking. Why would Ren try anything else? Of course Strade was right. (This is the wrong idea, sadly, but it must have been the conclusion he turned to.)

It started as him trying to follow the footsteps of the only person he’d ever had to look up to— Strade. That’s why he started doing shows, because Strade was successful and Ren wanted to follow his example. He was also swayed a lot by emotion, the loneliness he felt and the emptiness he has after Strade’s death. Continuing his legacy was a way to fill the void, at least a little. He also needed money sooner or later.

Over time, he started to make it his own. He started to think less about Strade and more about himself. By the time we see Fox, he’s pretty much moved on from Strade. He does it as his own show, in his own name, his own life.

He is a great showman, naturally. That’s where the posture, gestures, and lively way he talks comes from. He knows how to entertain an audience, and he’s spent years perfecting that skill. He does enjoy the shows, to an extent. But remember, when MC asks him why he does this? Because he’s good at it.

He does like the feeling of being in the spotlight, and entertaining an audience— but his answer wasn’t because it’s his passion, not because he likes being in power, but because he’s good at it.

He’s accustomed to it.

The thing I think people miss is that Fox still has that unsure feeling inside. Deep down, he likes you. And he wants to keep you. But the show must go on! He likes who he is now, and he has to perform for chat. Like I said, it started out as ‘that’s what Strade would have done’ when he was younger, but now he’s moved on from Strade and just become so conditioned to it that he doesn’t know how to break the cycle. It’s how the show goes: he tortures someone, does what chat wants, gets paid, and they die in the end. That’s how it’s always gone. But what about when he grows attached?

An Easter egg to prove my point:

Middle picture, third row down He literally hurts himself for letting you go, because he’s realized he likes you, but he doesn’t know how to deny chat. (this happens when you make all the wrong choices when he visits you in the bunker before show 3. Making all the right choices will result in the survival ending.)

That’s why the survival ending is so critical to his character— he did something for himself. Because he wanted to. It’s a sign of him breaking free, and realizing that he can be in charge.

MC’s dialogue choices are important there too. When he tells MC their fate is up to chat, and you say “I thought you were in charge?” It makes him stop and think. You set things in motion for him. That leads you to the ending where he saves you.

As for when he licks the blood on your neck, I think he got a little flustered because he let his animal side show/let his composure fall a bit. A big part of these shows is the power imbalance between him and the victim, and he always puts on a front of being more put together than they are.

But yeah, that’s my mini analysis on Fox. There’s so much more to his character, but that’s for a later date ;) You’re always welcome to ask more!

[bitterrobin]

Part 1 of analysis on the Batman & Son/Three Batmen arc that no one asked for, bc I'm writing a fic using it and I'm using this website as a public notes app. Basically me making observations and notes on what to emphasize when I write, so it's not very cohesive outside Damian & his interactions w/ Tim and Bruce.

Long Post Ahead:

Starting with of course, Damian's introduction arc. I guess this would technically be considered spoilers for GRAVEYARD, but I feel enough of what I've written so far is contained in Damian's mind a lot/shifted just a bit from canon to not be too obvious.

WRT Post-Crisis, Damian’s first introduction under Morrison implies that Damian didn’t know what Batman/Robin did, and especially after learning - he thought it was ridiculous, something to scoff at.

Prior to this, we don't really get an indication that Morrison-Talia told Damian what Batman did. We can assume he knows Batman as a concept, as he's not very surprised to see his estranged father in a bat costume, nor does he regard the Batcave as something weird.

I feel like I should stress wrt Robin, that Damian did not attack Tim just because the boy was Robin -- he attacked Tim because he (rightfully) perceived Tim as Bruce's son, the son that Damian wasn't. It can also be assumed with how abrasive and bratty that Morrison wrote Damian, that he attacked Tim as a sort of tantrum (turned up to 12 w exaggerated comic book panache), with Tim having (unintentionally) annoyed Damian earlier in the day.

It's also very important to note that Morrison wrote Tim as fairly normal...and as far as I know, in-character. He's a little condescending with the "here in my world, we call this a handshake" line (but that's more likely Tim attempting a joke that doesn't land, which Damian takes as patronizing). Otherwise, he's shown interacting with Damian as nicely as possible and talking to Bruce about his gripes with the sudden situation.

Tim gives Damian the benefit of the doubt, then unfortunately that doubt is massively proven through Damian killing and beheading a minor villain.

Fandom tends to blow their "fight" out of proportion as a mutual slug-fest or as Tim getting the shit beaten out of him. But in the comic, Tim is mostly on the defensive (holding his own, not really getting hurt) as Damian is attacking him, doesn't strike back, and even saves him from the T-Rex in the cave before it can injure him. And that was after the aforementioned scene of Damian pulling about a bloody key and Tim making an ominous assumption about Alfred's status as alive/dead.

Tim sits down to talk with him, and Damian gives him pretty much the exact reason why he's so aggressive. It's laid out right there for the reader. (Not to get too meta, but the comics actually give both Tim and Damian leeway on both their "sides." It's the fandom that generally exaggerates Damian's violence/Tim's reaction.) Anyway, Damian hits Tim hard enough that he falls, steals a Robin costume (notably not any of Tim's considering the black/red color scheme he then had), and Bruce finds out about everything.

IMO, a lot of Damian's actions can be explained through his POV as his limits getting pushed/buttons being pressed. He's 10 years old -- dropped by his manipulative mother to a father he doesn't know, realizes that father has another son older than him and treated better (presumably, in his eyes), put in a room with a password lock (which has implications), yelled at (explicitly told that his father has expectations of him, that he'll be tested until he can prove something) and then he decides to do something about it. Be proactive. He decides to kill the Spook and "prove" his worth, he fights Tim and "proves" his "deserved" place as his father's son, and takes a Robin costume to further that point.

Of course, he then learns that Bruce doesn't and will never appreciate those actions. Everything Damian just did was for nothing, almost, and he's brought right back where he started to his mother -- who then says that she intended for him to only be a distraction the whole time. Damian is a toy, a tool to Talia, and a violent obstacle to Bruce.

This is why I insist that Damian here, isn't really a character yet, he's a glorified plot device that Bruce/Tim have to get around for a couple issues.

Skipping way ahead in the plot, I wanted to highlight this piece of dialogue:

"I'm giving both of you a second chance you don't deserve." Wow. Morrison's characterization of Bruce in this arc (and frankly, his whole run) gives me whiplash. Morrison-Talia aside --- to Damian, hearing this must've been devastating on top of everything else. It's a throwaway line, like Dick's in Resurrection of Ras al Ghul where he snarks to Tim that saving Damian's life "makes us feel better about ourselves" that has a certain bite to it - and then is quickly ignored by the plot.

As I've posted before, Damian's aggression and mistrust is not without cause, he's not fighting people because he just an evil little kid. We know, as readers, that Bruce is rightfully angry about Talia's machinations and Damian hurting Tim/Alfred (and that Dick was only making another of his many jokes) but Damian doesn't. Even if he doesn't immediately say or do anything about what they say, he most likely internalizes it.

Still, he says this. Morrison of course, projecting Peak Divorced Child onto Damian's character --- but I like to think that Damian genuinely meant it. He just wants his parents together, like a child would, even if neither of those parents seemingly like him, or want what's best for him in a rational way? (Talia's just using him here, Bruce apparently is fine with letting her.) Good thing to bring up with Damian btw, it's like that Lady Bird movie scene:

"I wish that you liked me" - "Of course I love you."

You can be someone's child, cherished in that way, but that doesn't necessarily mean your parents like and understand you as a person. While in (my fic) GRAVEYARD, this doesn't fully apply as Taxonomy AU!Talia is nothing like the Talia here -- Damian thinks that she doesn't fully like him and he believes that she's not going to ever understand who he is. (And frankly, there is always the notion haunting her that he's not a normal kid, her kid anymore - that she's worse off because she has to see what the League twisted Damian into. But that's a more meta analysis of her POV than I want to get into; how warped Talia's character became because of Damian existing in comics -- and something more for a diff. fic.)

Coming up on the end of the arc, it's kinda crazy how Talia and Damian were technically supposed to die. And Damian pretty much did, until he got the intense medical attention he got. Something to think about.

Ending the post here! Next time, I'll skip to Three Batmen, quickly go over it, and then just kinda jump around talking about Damian's POV of events happening.

[betty-fran]

S01E25  “This Side of Paradise” or one of the K/S talks

I've read at least a few good analyses of this episode, which I don't want to repeat, but I also have a few thoughts on the subject.

I'm sharing Star Trek run right now with N, my sister, which is entirely justified by my tendency to hyper-fixate and her love of old movies, but what always surprises me is that when we look at the same things, we see something completely different. After all, we see the world not as it is, but as we are.

And then I ask myself, is K/S so obvious to me just because of who I am?

N liked Spock/Uhura since we first watched AOS about 6 years ago, which is still one of the main reasons we argue when we watch TOS today. My sister is an HSP, she enjoys reading Zweig and Maurois, unlike me (I was only able to read his history of France), and is a romantic, in the true Ivanhoe way. And while, in my opinion, Spock is objectively difficult to read in the light of a classic heterosexual hero, N somehow manages to do it, and I have to leave room for that because she's my sister. After all, he's so different from other male characters on screen, so noble and reserved that you really know - when he will fall in love, he will love only one person and be faithful to them all his life. Perceiving it this way, it's indeed possible to imagine him caring for the woman next to him, treating her with respect, but such a reading of his character is, at the same time, a complete disregard for his internal conflict, a rejection of even the possibility of this conflict existing.

The problem with TOS is that it's actually hard to tell what was planned from the beginning and what came out of reading between the lines. TOS is incredibly multi-layered, and it can be taken either completely literally or delved into the most subtle philosophical space, depending on the depth of the viewer's thought and their own life experience, but even in a literal reading, it always remains quite ambiguous.

It's obvious that Spock's conflict over his own otherness, his inability to feel that he belongs, is fundamental. This is exposed starting with S1EP3 "Charlie X", and only intensifies as the plot progresses. This may not be related to his sexual orientation, given his pronounced neurodivergence in the first place (read: Vulcans), but I believe it can explain a lot more things about him. There's a great analysis of the K/S dynamic and especially Spock, in his repressed homosexuality, here by @anghraine, which reminds me why Spock is a more difficult character for me to read than Kirk. Even with a literal reading of TOS, Kirk's character remains clearly bi/pan - despite existing objections from both sides. The experience of accepting my own homosexuality, its catharsis, was completely unknown to me. My orientation was never a difficult moment for me; my "something wrong with me" didn't depend on it, and couldn't be solved by it. I loved the women in my life just as the men, but as an autistic person, I saw in the eyes of both women and men the same inability to accept me for who I am, the fear of it. It's hard to erase from your own memories the moment of understanding that the only option to be with another person is to change your very essence. S01E25 “This Side of Paradise” certainly brings this to mind. Leila's declaration of love is both selfish and completely hopeless because it's also her realization of the impossibility of accepting Spock for who he is. The happiness she speaks of could only exist because Spock was a different person all this time, and this scene strikes me with its cruelty:

LEILA: I love you. I said that six years ago, and I can’t seem to stop repeating myself. On Earth, you couldn’t give anything of yourself. You couldn’t even put your arms around me. We couldn’t have anything together there. We couldn’t have anything together anyplace else. We’re happy here.

But more important to me is the scene on the bridge before this, when Spock is about to go to the transporter room to talk to Leila:

KIRK: Mister Spock, Miss Kalomi is strictly your concern, but should you talk to her while she's still under the influence of the spores? SPOCK: I'll be back shortly, Captain.

It's not particularly interesting in terms of dialogue, but it's incredibly valuable in the way it's played. It's a quiet, chamber theater scene of almost intimate realization - for Kirk, that Spock can leave him, and he can't hold him back because he has no right to; and for Spock, that he can never leave him, even if he wanted to. Spock's response is incredibly soft, almost reassuring; it comes easily because he's already accepted it. He means it. He will return, he always will. But Kirk, left alone in the semi-darkness of the studio set, must embrace his own zugzwang. This isn't the most revealing scene of jealousy on his part, but it's probably the first one so clearly realized. That's why I find this episode so important, not only for revealing the internal conflict of both Spock and Kirk, but for defining this unspoken tension between them.

Among all of Roddenberry's quotes, there is one that is not usually mentioned, but which is actually the most profound in explaining his attitude towards K/S:

Oh, I think for the same reason that most heterosexual relationships are not so much for the purpose of sex as many of us — many of the people even who are involved in them assume they are. Most of us go through life trying to find someone — trying to make contact with some of these strange aliens on this planet. . .on this precipice — seeking some assurance that we are not alone. That we are not just "bags of skin." That our consciousness will not just be snuffed out and forgotten — all too soon. Sex is — a great part of sex has nothing to do with the physical — the physical act is not so important — unless it affects the other person — but the real reason for touching a person is just to make this contact. To hold each other.

For me, Roddenberry remains a very controversial figure, because he is the reason for this Schrödinger's Cat, when K/S is at the same time the only objective canon, and can never be in the classical perception of it. He created a story about love, but he left no room for its physical expression. And I understand him better than I would like to - his desire to show that real things, the most important things, are above the physical. This is actually talked about often in TOS - in S1EP19 “Arena” Kirk, after defeating the Gorn and refusing to kill him, receives approval from Metrons, a much more spiritually advanced race, the inhabitants of this system where they were stopped for showing aggression, and who expresses hope that one day humans will evolve enough to make contact with them. Likewise, in S1EP27 “Errand of Mercy,” the Organians, who imitate a simple medieval life, are actually such a highly evolved race that they have long since ceased to be attached to a physical body, having only a spiritual one. This idea of ​​a higher form of existence that transcends the standard physical body is one of the core and often repeated ideas in TOS, and is a beautiful idea that, unfortunately, so far doesn't connect well with our mortal, physical world. Wanting a body does not mean wanting a soul. But, unfortunately, it also works the other way around. Would it be enough to have only one thing? What's worse - being physically close to someone who can never fully accept you, or loving someone you can't touch? Unfortunately, this is what makes people who easily read the depth of love between K/C on screen, freaks in the eyes of people unable to see it. They love each other, but it's still not enough for any average viewer to believe. That's what Roddenberry left us with, out of his good intentions. They never kissed, never really touched each other, not like lovers do, and this is the truest and most insidious proof that we are wrong. This makes K/S an almost Shakespearean tragedy in modern reality, a tragedy for people who can understand them, to see themselves in them, for people who don't fit into the accepted idea of ​​what love should be, whose love will always be wrong, insufficient, too much, strange, and frightening.

And while we're free to ignore it, it's still something that emotionally compromises me. For some reason, for reasons I don't understand, it feels like if they can't have this happy ending the way they are, I, as I am, can't either.

[gemsofthegalaxy]

Yes, I think one of our main contradictions here is that I am using the word misogyny as like, inequality of women in society, not just outright hatred against women. I can't say whether Homer thought it was right or just or natural that women were below men, I think his writing reflects that they were considered as such by the society he was writing.

For instance, my understanding of Penelope in The Odyssey was that she did have a decent social station, and she was depicted as very clever and on Odysseus' level mentally- but socially, she was still ordered around by her son Telemachus and was expected to listen to him. I am assuming this is because he is becoming "the man of the house" or at least has the potential to be. She seemed to have very limited options, to me. She could not get rid of the suitors on her own, although I know that also had to do with the expectations of hospitality, and she did not want to marry them, so she had to wait for her husband and son to take care of the issue. She is a great character, but even though she ostensibly is a Queen and I would think should have a lot of social power, she's more limited in her ability to act. She does use her agency as much as possible but the expectations of her role itself seemed to constraint her, i though. But I do agree, Helen's portrayal was incredibly intriguing, the way she had potent medicine and was treated with respect even after all her turmoil was very cool to me.

Also, I mentioned this in the replies already, but I think I was a bit unclear- The Song Of Achilles does not accurately "retell" the source materials, it makes a lot of changes to both events and characters, it is more a reimagining than a faithful interpretation. I still thought it was a good story, there were aspects of it I really enjoyed, but I think it's important to try to keep it separate IF I'm going to try to analyze the actual story of The Iliad because it's not the same. My original post wasn't meant as serious analysis, but if it was I would have drawn on a lot more and not from TSOA lol.

And, I don't think you love your ancient culture too much, like I said, I do understand being frustrated when people make statements on very a incomplete understanding- at the same time, I think that does come with the territory, because it's very hard for every single person to have read all of the myths and myth fragments. But that's also why I appreciate how you have offered more information and your thoughts rather than talking down to me, I know my understanding is based on only the parts I've read.

It may be basic of me but yes i am an Agamemnon hater. I wasnt even like, swayed by fandom i just yknow read the Iliad and hated him organically but my hate is the way that i love to hate him. When he's already dead in the Odyssey and, as a shade, tells Odysseus like "never ever trust a hoe, do not treat your wife too well, women are petty lying harpies" i honestly have to laugh like. There is a lot of misogyny in all of these stories they just did not treat women very well but his particular flavor is so funny to me. His swagless charm captivates me. I hate him and he annoys me but he's so funny it kinda wraps around to me liking him a bit again. Ask me my opinion again in 3 years

[kacievvbbbb]

You do get the sense that the fallout of Roger's death and the Roger pirates disbanding not so much traumatized Buggy and Shanks indifferent ways but instead generated such drastically different reactions to the trauma.

While the trauma of everything seemed to push Shanks into the future, always constantly waiting for something, putting plans on hold and then later in place, for this great moment, this great coming that he sees on the Horizon. For Buggy it rooted him firmly in the past keeping him trapped in this grief masquerading as anger.

While Roger's death forced Shanks to grow up fast, it kind of arrested Buggy's development keeping him stuck in those same feelings, rooted int that same place.

You get the sense that Buggy's whole east blue schtick is just one long overdue rebellious phase one big fuck you to Roger and his ideals. He's rebelling against Roger's principles. One of their rules was don't steal from innocent people and Buggy was keeping a whole town in poverty. If Roger and Luffy's pirating styles are diametrically opposed to someone like Blackbeard, who might be the most literal pirate in the entire series, then buggy is the parody of that Blackbeard piratism. He is playing up cruelty, being the most piratey pirate possible, hell he's literally a clown on a stage. It's all a show! It's his own special way of trying to "get back at Roger" of trying to discard everything Roger taught him for this overacted, over exaggerated clownish cruelty. Mentally he never left that execution square. He is still 15, alone and scared.

Hell he literally never left either, while I'm pretty sure Shanks' booked it out of the east blue as fast as he could, Buggy never lef, might have never left, if not for Luffy. It's part of why Luffy bothers him so much, he's just like Roger everything that Buggy is trying hard to forget and here comes this kid, whose never even met the Captain but is wearing his hat, shoving it right back in his face.

It makes sense that he never leaves the east blue till Luffy literally forces him out of it (fucking with Luffy gets him captured and imprisoned) and it makes sense that it's Luffy that literally breaks him out of prison, literally sets him free, and on the path to greatness that maybe he was always meant to achieve (even if he trips his way into it). This boy that is tragically so much like his old captain but so beautifully unabashedly himself, is what Buggy needs to start letting go off the past, to start trying to move forward.

Maybe that's why Buggy, at what could arguably be described as his lowest moment, gets the strength to free himself from his own self imprisonment, realizing that even back then he was locking himself away and pinning his own dreams on Shanks. And, maybe for the first time ever, Buggy really own his dream. He declares to his tormentors and his crew and the entire world that; actually He wants to find the one piece, him, as captain of his own crew, this crew, not just a part of someone else's. That's his dream and he's willing to turn the world upside down to do it.

[liauditore]

Equally Invalid

[clfixationstation]

idk if this is a hot take but I don't think Armin is friendly. I think people find him generally off-putting. Like, people think he looks sweet, but also find him strange; for the topics that interest him, the way he didn't stray far from Eren (& Mikasa) socially, and his general demeanor.

I think that as Armin established himself more as he grew up, he developed better interpersonal skills that compliment his rhetorical prowess. I think he's the type of person who sees value in life and in minimizing harm. He offers kindness to his friends and understanding to all. But I don't see him as particularly "friendly"

[indycinders]

Gonna add my own thoughts to this too because this was cool to think about /w\ maybe mild spoilers ahead?

When you think about them and MC, it makes a lot more sense.

Caleb wants you to only see him as that person that's always been by your side, that's always played with you and took care of you and protected you. He never wanted you to see his dark thoughts, his obsession, his feelings. And his eyes reflect that. He's carefully guarded and chooses what you see. It's almost scary how good he is at manipulation and deception. I wouldn't want to piss off the Colonel if I wasn't MC haha.

Even after the events of his chapter and when you unlock him, in his following memories, he still struggles with dropping that mask after you know everything. Even if you accept all of him, as he is, flaws and all, he's so conditioned to this that it's his default now. In one of his phone calls, we hear his vulnerability with him saying something like, "Even if he's the worst Caleb of all of them, you still want him?"

Caleb is so tragic to me but that also makes me love him so much more. I'm waiting on the last shard before I peruse his myth, so my feelings might change, but what I know so far makes my heart break.

When it comes to Sylus, he's got that carefully crafted criminal leader persona. And that's what it is, a persona. Made from the struggle of survival, from the judgment of humans, from not being good enough for whatever reason he feels that is. I wouldn't say he's manipulative, but he is definitely calculating. He's playing 4D chess while we're all still figuring out checkers.

His eyes are so expressive because that's how he communicates. He feels the weight of responsibility for a position such as his and he can't often let himself outwardly show emotion. In his Night of Secrecy card, when he covers our eyes, even then he's hiding himself from us. We get a glimpse of him losing control of that facade and giving into that weakness, that vulnerability that we cause him.

I also think he's not afraid of showing his emotions through his eyes simply because of his power with the Aether core and ability to know people's desires. And maybe a part of him lets himself be vulnerable in that way because he can expose others vulnerabilities.

We know he's not guarded like Caleb. We see it in the way he treats us, the way he cares and shows love. Anything we ask, he has an answer for. He never lies, not really. He might omit the truth but he also expects us to be keen enough to know what he's saying. Like, again, in his Night of Secrecy card. He tried to slip away by making an excuse but knew we would catch on and follow him.

I haven't gone through his Conqueror myth yet (thanks Caleb for distracting me lmao), but I know his Abysm Sovereign myth. We know some part of him feels self loathing and almost shame for what he was.

In my opinion, he doesn't bother fully masking his emotions because he knows that the only one worthy and capable of handling what he lets slip through is us. He knows that we can and have accepted every part of him, good and bad.

He said it best in Razor's Grip. "There is no love purer than mine." And there really isn't.

Not to be weird on main or anything, but I've been studying screenshots of Caleb's expressions and it's so funny how comparatively less expressive his eyes are to Sylus'.

Like Sylus communicates 98% with those big red eyes of his. Caleb communicates only very VERY big changes of his expression solely through his eyes.

So I was compiled some eye screenshots because I really love the expressions Sylus has and did the same with him, (and have way too many saved), but I realised how little his eyes share. These however, are some gems;

When compared to Sylus's eyes though;

It becomes super obvious how much of Caleb's expressions are pretty performative, in the kind of way that is very familiar to me as an autistic person, and feeds in quite nicely to the common theme of him wearing a mask throughout the main story.

Sylus' communication is done mostly verbally because the game actively conveys the fact that he doesn't emote or physically show his feelings very often (he's labelled cold or numb or distant, in a similar way to Zayne, but with more disdain from those around him. It's only the twins who have ever looked at him and realised he was lonely.) because of that his expressions reflect it. His lips don't move much, but his eyes tell stories for him because they're much harder to control.

Meanwhile, Caleb's eyes betray him in big moments. When he's overwhelmed or very emotional, often in the negative, but for the most part he keeps it under control and performs his emotions through the use of smiles and expression. Without his full face, his expressions don't come through properly.

🤷 it doesn't mean a lot, but it was fun to dig through while I was compiling images.

[lyxchen]

Okay so I've heard this said a bunch of times and I'm gonna admit I thought like that too for a while but no, Gi-hun did not win the games because he was lucky. A lot of people think that's how he won because he never killed anybody but that's really not the point. Gi-hun won the games because a) he's smart and is able to look at things from a different angle, b) because he is a good and kind person who also believes in others and c) because of the goodness and care get got back from other people.

In the first game he survived because Ali saved him and that wasn't luck, that was Ali being a good person and helping somebody not get killed. Ali could've not caught him, let him die, he didn't even know Gi-hun at all at that point and he put himself in more danger too by having to hold on to a person while standing completely still but he still saved Gi-hun because Ali is a good person.

In the Dalgona game he quite literally Was Not Lucky. He decided to go with the umbrella which is the worst shape to pick and he probably would have died if he hadn't looked at the game in a different way and decided to change his strategy. Gi-hun is smart. He is also optimistic and so he tried something new and found a different way to beat that game.

In the third game he survived because he was smart and kind enough to listen to Il-nam. The other people in their group dismissed him as just an old man speaking but Gi-hun didn't and that way they had a good strategy to beat the other team. The same goes for him listening to Sang-woo's idea of running three steps and then stopping, which ultimately was what saved them. His group also chose him as their leader (who, as Il-nam said, needs to not seem weak or loose hope because then the whole team is doomed). His team trusted in him and his optimism and they were right to do so.

In the marbles game he won because he was once again kind and decided to team up with Il-nam and also because in the end Il-nam decided to "sacrifice himself" for Gi-hun because he showed him kindness before. Yes Il-nam didn't actually die but he also knew that Gi-hun had cheated and still let him continue on to the next game, probably because Gi-hun had been good and kind and caring towards him before, even though he really didn't have to be. Gi-hun also didn't know this but by teaming up with Il-nam he inadvertently ensured that Il-nam had a lot more fun in the games than he would have had, had everybody just ignored to "old, fragile man". Gi-hun was good to Il-nam throughout all the games and it ended up saving him in the marbles game.

In the fifth game it's only some small moments as Gi-hun isn't really involved in the game because he's the last number but still it wasn't just luck. First of all he was kind enough to give the number 1 to the player that asked him for it. Yes, that number was bad but he didn't know that and had he been selfish enough to say no to that other player he wouldn't have survived. Being the last to play in any game can end up being bad for you, still he decided to give up the number he picked because the other player asked him to. Secondly he also survived that game because Sae-byeok was kind enough to remind him of which glass tile to step on after he had forgotten which one it was. It's only small but she didn't have to tell him and still she did. Sae-byeok btw is also good to him because before that he was good to her and protected her (even though he was angry at her at first) and that way he was able to gain her trust.

Lastly he won the Squid Game because Gi-hun was kind to Sang-woo and because Sang-woo deep down was still a good person. There were probably many reasons as to why Sang-woo decided to kill himself in the end but part of it, I'm sure, was also because Gi-hun was a good friend to him. I mean Gi-hun was even willing to give up all the money and go back home with nothing gained if it meant that Sang-woo didn't have to die and would be able to come home with him. Gi-hun deserved that win and that money and in the end Sang-woo knew that. He also knew that Gi-hun would make sure to take care of Sang-woo's mother and that he wouldn't just take all the money for himself because Sang-woo knew that Gi-hun is a good person. (Gi-hun technically also won the Squid Game because he was good at it which is also him being smart)

So in conclusion and I hope y'all haven't stopped reading yet: Gi-hun didn't win the games because he was lucky. He didn't just sit around doing nothing and won anyways. He won because he was smart but even more importantly he won because of the kindness and goodness that exists in humans and that is especially present in him. He won because he had empathy, because people trusted him, because he got back from them what he gave to them first. He never killed anyone and we can clearly see that he Could Never kill anyone in those games but that's not his weakness. Just because he didn't let himself get corrupted and turned into what the games wanted him to turn into doesn't mean he won because of luck. Him not playing by those subtle, hidden rules that are made to force him to be bad, to not care about others and to give up his kindness actually means he was better than the games. He won because he didn't let them turn him into a monster. They tried really hard and they failed and that's how he won!! But also on top of that he also won because he isn't the only good person in this show. He also won because other people helped him, were kind to him and gave a shit about him. Each and every person that helped Gi-hun didn't have to do that. They all could have not helped him, Ali could have not caught him, Sae-byeok could have not told him which one was the correct glass tile, hell, she could have Lied to him about it and the only difference it would have made for the other players would have been them being one more dead person closer to winning all that money. But that's really not how humans are and act which is why all these people helped Gi-hun, helped each other in small or big ways and in the end his own kindness and the kindness that exists in other people is what lead to Gi-hun winning. That's not luck. That humans being good

[gale-force-storm]

Actually, was thinking about that ficlet I posted and I wanna talk more about Gale as Icarus. Because the Icarus myth isn't just about hubris, it's about moderation. Yes, flying too close to the sun melts his wings. But he's also warned against flying too low, lest his wings get wet with the sea spray and weigh him down. He cannot fly too high nor too low, be too complacent nor too ambitious, but rather must take the middle route.

Yes, Gale is ambitious and in reaching to be closer to the gods - to Mystra - he found himself burned. And if he keeps reaching he may actually achieve godhood, may reach that shining sun, but he loses his humanity and those close to him in the process.

And yet there's the other side. The fear, the guilt, the lack of self-worth, the reluctance to challenge what he's always believed in, weighing him down into the sea of hopelessness, pushing him towards self-sacrifice. Like Icarus, people may talk more of the dangers of him reaching too high, but the lows, too, are equally perilous.

Gale's arc is not simply one of tempering his hubris and ambition, of not flying too close to the sun, but also of not flying so low that he loses himself to despair. It's about holding onto hope, without believing that the only way to escape the darkness threatening to swallow him is to fly so high that he loses himself anyway. It's the middle path that eventually leads him to freedom.

My sweet Icarus, indeed

[sparkles-rule-4eva]

"Can't Die with Regrets."

SONIC 3 SPOILERS!!!

Based on this post

AO3 version

“If neither of you have the guts to help me, then I’ll do it alone.”

Words that Sonic was regretting. Severely.

It had been nearly an hour since he’d last seen his brothers. In a fit of rage, and grief, and too many negative feelings for him to process, he’d all but stolen the Master Emerald and hunted down Shadow, fully intending to kill him.

Looking back at himself, the way he’d just lost control, he felt ashamed, but he could still remember why he’d done it in the first place. He still could feel the paralyzing fear that had gripped him when he’d found Tom unconscious, completely unresponsive. Fear that had quickly turned into an early kind of grief, reminding him all too much of a night long ago, when he’d found himself alone in an unfamiliar forest at night, crying over the loss of Longclaw.

His first parent.

Things had been fuzzy. He was scared. He was stressed. He was angry.

He had not waited ten painful years for his family, only to have it stripped away from him again. He didn’t know what he would do without them. Without his dad.

“What kind of hero abandons his friends to pursue revenge? Abandons his family?” Shadow’s chilling words still echoed in his mind. He hadn’t had an answer. All he’d been able to feel was rage, and grief, and a spiraling sense of being completely out of control.

And while the fury had subsided as he remembered Tom’s words to him recently, about not letting his pain from losing Longclaw change who he was, the grief had stayed. The fear had stayed. Even as he let go of Shadow, as they sat and talked about their experiences with loss, the pain continued to burn in his chest.

Sonic pushed it to the back of his mind as they both charged up on the Chaos Emeralds and went to stop the giant cannon about to destroy a chunk of Earth. Talking with Shadow had helped him a little, as he reminded them both about how they could deal with their grief and their pain. Finally befriending this edgy other hedgehog had done him well. Fighting alongside him was even its own brand of fun.

But it was hard to not think about his family.

How the last he’d seen his parents, his father was in some kind of coma and being taken into an ambulance. His mother was looking at him and his brothers… strangely, as she sat with her husband. With a blank expression, one that chilled him and stirred a different fear entirely in his stomach.

Like she wasn’t quite sure of them anymore.

And his brothers?

He had not parted with them on friendly terms. He’d been in the thick of his grief-induced anger still. He’d snapped at Tails for attempting to comfort him, and had nearly fought with Knuckles over his demands for the Master Emerald. Knuckles had refused to fight him, which in hindsight made him feel even worse.

He wanted to apologize to them. But he didn’t know where they were.

In the distance, the huge cannon thing was crackling with chaos energy, clearly about to fire. Shadow dealt with the last of the bots that they’d been fighting, then they were both making a beeline for the cannon.

It probably wouldn’t destroy the entire earth— it was a precision weapon— but it would still kill many innocent lives. At the moment, it was aimed directly for London.

As far as Sonic knew, his entire family was down there.

So the only plan he could come up with in the panic of the moment was to block the hit directly, using the combined chaos powers of both himself and Shadow.

It was a big risk for sure, but there was no way he was letting that blast hit the earth.

“Now this might hurt a little!” he yelled to Shadow, as they flew directly up in the line of fire.

The cannon unleashed its blast.

It hurt more than a little, as they both raised their arms to create an invisible shield of sorts, blocking the blast, protecting those far below.

“This was your plan?” Shadow demanded beside him, his voice strained as he squinted against the blinding light.

Sonic didn’t answer, grunting as he tried to conserve his quickly-draining energy. Desperate for any kind of hope, he hollered, “Would someone mind shutting down the giant death ray?!”

He figured it was just the Robotniks up there, and they were the ones who’d planned this whole thing, but somehow his plea was answered. Slowly but surely, the continuous blast started to tilt, gradually away from the earth.

However, it was quickly getting harder and harder to keep blocking it. The ray was hot and excruciating to the touch, only less so because he was in golden god mode, but even that energy was starting to… fade.

Sonic gritted his teeth, nearly whimpering as he struggled to keep on blocking it. Hundreds of people are at risk down there! he snapped at himself silently. Including your family. Keep at it!

The ray continued to turn, slowly.

The edges of his vision started going dark.

He shook his head slightly, glaring up at the ray. The ray glared back at him.

You HAVE to do it! You have to get back to them! You have to see if Dad will be okay. You have to check on Mom. You have to apologize to Knuckles and Tails. YOU HAVE TO!

SO KEEP AT IT!

“Can’t… hold… much… longer!” he gasped out, as if whoever was turning the ray could hear him. Shadow looked over at him for a split second, then immediately turned back forward, pushing even harder against the blast.

Sonic couldn’t risk looking down to see how far the ray had turned from the earth. All he could do was keep looking up, keep hoping against hope that they were going to save everyone— and make it out alive. Both of which he couldn’t afford not to do.

But it wasn’t looking likely.

He didn’t have any more energy he could just summon out of nowhere. And he was very quickly running out of time.

And even as he struggled against the ray, his heart began to sink.

He had too many regrets. Too many things he still needed to say. Too many things he still didn’t know.

Stupid cannon should’ve waited a bit longer, at least so he could’ve gotten a chance to do all that.

But, just like throughout this whole ordeal, he was absolutely powerless with such a thing.

It was too late.

The darkness at the edges of his vision spread, as his arms and body started going numb. And with a final yelp, he blacked out.

The last thing he registered was a hand on his shoulder, forcefully shoving him to the right. Then everything went blank.

---

Sonic had truly thought he was going to die.

If he’d fainted while still in the direct path of the death ray, he would’ve gotten incinerated.

But that hand that’d pushed him… had it gotten him out of the way? Shadow had saved him?

His consciousness slowly edged its way back in, stirred by the sound of coughing. As his senses recovered, he realized he was lying down, sprawled half on an earthy floor, halfway on top of someone else…

Vision and hearing foggy, he squeezed his eyes shut tighter for a moment before wearily blinking them open. “Sonic, look,” a young, familiar voice said quietly.

Slowly, shakily, Sonic pushed himself to his feet, still trying to register what was happening, where he was, what was going on. But as he looked up, the memories returned, and another wave of grief hit him hard.

There was a huge, nebular mass in the sky above them, clearly the result of some kind of massive explosion. Tails had gone on excited rants to him in past months about astronomy, and stars, and what happened when they exploded. How they left a beautiful nebula blanketing the space around them even after they were gone.

“Shadow and Robotnik,” Tails said quietly beside him, staring with a hollow look up at the remains in the sky. “They sacrificed themselves… to save everyone.”

…Oh.

Shadow was gone.

Sonic looked at the distant fire, swallowing. “You always have a choice,” he murmured, remembering how he’d told that to Shadow right before they’d gone in to stop the death ray.

“The light shines, even though the star is gone,” was what Shadow had said, as they’d sat and reminisced on the moon’s surface.

They’d saved Earth, and everyone on it, but Shadow had given everything to make the right choice in the end. He’d become his own fallen star, like Maria, and he would shine on even now that he was gone.

Sonic’s chest ached. For all the drama and violence and pain of the last few days, he would never forget Shadow. The words they had shared stuck with him. Shadow had not deserved to die. He’d become a hero when it had mattered the most.

And so had Robotnik, apparently.

Sonic swallowed again, then turned to face his brothers, a sudden dread pooling in his heart. In what he’d thought were his final moments up there, he’d been desperate to live so he could apologize, and he’d pictured himself dramatically rushing back, shouting out the “I’M SO SORRY”s, hugging everyone left and right, rushing to do everything he thought he couldn’t. But now that he was faced with the real opportunity, and the reality of what had happened, he… was scared.

Scared that he’d gone too far. That they wouldn’t trust him again after he’d betrayed their oath.

Especially as he realized that Knuckles and Tails must’ve saved him after he fell. Even after what he’d said to them. It was the only explanation for how he’d woken up piled with them both in the middle of a corn field, relatively unharmed for having apparently fallen all the way from space.

“Guys, I’m really sorry for running off like that,” he said softly, avoiding the two pairs of eyes locked on him. His heart pounded uncomfortably in his chest. “I shouldn’t have left you behind.”

He dared to meet Knuckles’s eyes. The echidna stared back at him, his eyes hard.

“The truth is,” he went on, shifting his gaze again, “you’re the best teammates a hedgehog could ever ask for.” He glanced at Tails, the words spilling out now, and he was struck with a sudden gratefulness that he was here, getting to say all this, when he’d truly thought he’d missed the chance. “And the best friends,” he quickly added. “…Can you ever forgive me?”

Sonic held his breath. Silence reigned. His heart skipped a few beats.

Knuckles continued to stare.

Then the echidna slowly raised a fist towards him. “Team Sonic?” he asked quietly.

Sonic stared at his brother’s extended fist for a moment, almost weak as relief rushed through him. In a rush of emotion, he smiled like a sap and lurched forwards to hug Knuckles close, grasping to pull in Tails as well. “How about, just ‘team’,” he replied softly, resting his head against the echidna’s chest and wrapping his arms around both him and Tails.

His teammates. His friends. His best friends.

His brothers.

----------------------

there will be a second chapter soon btw

[fist-of-vengeance]

thinking about how essentially every relationship john locke formed in the early seasons of lost has completely disintegrated by the time of his death.

of course there's his relationship with jack, which starts tense but manageable and culminates in jack pointing a gun at john's head and pulling the trigger. but even his smaller, less narratively prominent relationships either implode or drift apart. he bonds with walt in season one but then walt leaves the island, which is itself a severing of their bond since it was mainly based on being the only two people who wanted to stay. still, he goes and visits walt off the island so this is probably john's most successful relationship. I dont think i need to explain how he fucked up with boone, "the sacrifice that the island demanded." charlie viewed john as a mentor and claimed to trust him more than anyone on the island, but after the events of fire and water, that trust is destroyed and charlie despises him. at the same time we get john bonding with claire and having a pseudo-paternal dynamic with her, but their closeness basically drops off the face of the earth as he gets less and less involved with the other survivors.

his arc in the series is essentially a gradual distancing from everyone around him. it starts when he abandons hunting (providing for the others) in favor of trying to get the hatch open (it's extremely clear his primary motive isn't any survival applications but getting answers to the mystery). when they do open the hatch, he spends more and more time inside, underground, cut off from other people. he spends more and more time interacting with ben, a human mystery box that he's obsessed with cracking even if it gets him killed. he follows the proverbial white rabbit deeper down the hole and leaves his connection to humanity behind. the island and its mysteries become more important to john than anything or anyone else.

then in season three we get him claiming to go undercover with the others only to unceremoniously tell sawyer that he's actually going to join them. and it doesn't feel shocking, it feels inevitable. because john has spent the entire series becoming less and less connected with the people he arrived with. in that sense he actually makes a fascinating foil to juliet, who is introduced as one of the others and yet never really fits, she's increasingly sympathetic and kind in a way the rest of them aren't, her redemption arc feels so natural that she actually starts referring to her old people as "the others" like she's been one of the crash survivors from the beginning. her and john basically have inverse arcs, which is probably accidental but very neat.

in season five john tries to convince everyone to go back to the island, and fails spectacularly. and of course he does, because he was so consumed by obsession that he stopped maintaining his relationships, and in many cases actively alienated people (this is also basically what happened with helen) and now he can't wrap his head around why they're all so hostile to him. i am forever obsessed with the scene where he confronts kate and she brutally calls him out for wanting to return to the island because he doesn't love anyone. it actually struck me on rewatch how well the two of them got along in season one, and how badly their relationship has degraded by this point. john repeatedly casts aside interpersonal relationships in favor of his obsession with destiny, so when said destiny actually involves persuading the people he once shunned, he's at a loss. this is because john treats purpose as a supplement for connection, destiny as an alternative to love.

as an aside, this aspect of john's character kinda ties into my opinion that several lost characters can be read as allegorically neurdivergent under a certain lens. i know this was absolutely not intended, but as an adhd former gifted kid who struggles socially, there is something uncomfortably familiar about a character who allows their relationships to burn around them because of a single-minded obsession, especially as a result of being promised the fickle status of "special."

tl/dr: john locke is a doomed idiot and i love him

[qalanthe]

hawke initiating a surprise kiss to catch Anders off guard as payback for the clinic kiss 😗

[grimalkinmessor]

Just to put a lot of my posts and beliefs about Light Yagami's character in one post (headcanons not included):

• He does not do anything for purely moral reasons. The reason he started killing criminals was because he was curious, and then afterward his "crusade" was built from panic and spite. He thought using the Death Note was going to kill him, so he decided to take everyone he considered a threat to society down with him—that way he would still be good. He would still be remembered. If he can't live, then criminals don't deserve to either. The weight loss and the insomnia shown in the manga, were more likely results of a fear of dying than moral stress.

• Then Light discovers he won't die. This negates part of the spite, but not the need for a moral justification to keep himself "good". He no longer needs to be a martyr, so instead he's chosen to become a God.

• During this week and half of time, Light goes from being a bored, lonely, listless teenager disgusted with the world because it's not how his father taught him it should be, disgusted because if he can manage perfection why can't the rest of the world—to a boy with a new friend and a new mission that gives him purpose. Something interesting. If the world can't be perfect on its own, he'll have to help it. The world needs his help, making him its "savior".

• In comes L. It is no longer about Kira, no longer about saving the world from itself, even if he might tell himself it is—it's about the game. Kira was a fun pastime, yes, but L has made things so much more interesting. (Light and Ryuk are actually wildly similar in several ways it's just not immediately obvious). This game is more fun, too, because this time he has an opponent—one not so nebulous as "the criminals of the world", who offered no challenge. Light is still justifying his actions through a lens of morality, because he has to, but they're beginning to run rather thin.

• Both the broadcast and the obvious taunts to L through changing Kira's killing methods supports the above. "You're too stupid, L. If you were just a little smarter, we could've had some fun." Drawing L in was to progress their game, not Kira's goals. If Light truly only cared about Kira's vision, Kira's new world, Kira's righteous justice; then he wouldn't have continued to play the game after the broadcast. There was no way for L to find him without Light drawing him in—the Death Note is literally the perfect murder weapon. Light knew this, he just ignored it because he wanted to play.

• In the same vein: Yotsuba Light doesn't know he's playing the game. He's forgotten that there even is a game, and so he sees L as someone who's been duped, who either isn't as intelligent as he's been made out to seem, or someone who's being purposefully cruel just because he can. Either way, to Yotsuba Light, L's threat level has only increased, because Light no longer has any sort of weapon to go against him with. He can't even wield his own innocence against him, because his innocence is not certain. Even to himself. Yotsuba Light knows that he has to play along with L's plays of friendship and morality in order to secure his freedom, but he does not respect L or like him. At least, not until near the end, where they're closing in on Higuchi. Where his freedom seems closer....and yet he sees his own, true innocence as more tenuous than ever. Notably, even when Light feels positively towards L there, he still does not share his suspicions about himself with him. His own life still takes precedence over any sort of justice or morality he might have, because Yotsuba Light is still Light. And Light will always put his own self-interests first.

• After killing L, something interesting happens. Because the game ends, but Kira is still left. And Light was willing to take risks and make wild plans in his game with L, but Kira's goals always, always came after his own life. And when only Kira's goals are left, Light stops taking those big, potentially lethal risks. (i.e. bomb desk trap, killing Raye Penber in person by handing him pages of the Death Note, killing Naomi Misora in person right in front of the police station, writing Higuchi's name while sitting right beside L with the murder weapon literally in his hand, etc. etc.). Winning the game was worth dying for—Kira's ideals are not. Or, to put it even more simply: His pride is worth dying for, but his morals are not. Five years after his victory against L, he's presented with another game, but instead of feeling fearful and excited as he did with L, Light is angry. Arrogant and angry. Because this isn't a game to these opponents, as it was to L—they're playing against each other, and Light is merely a piece in it. This game is not like his game with L; it's more like his "game" with the criminals of the world. One with no true challenge, just another defense of Kira's world—worth winning, but not worth dying for.

• Light's pride is more important to him than anything. He needs to be able to take pride in himself and his actions. Pride comes before everything else, before Kira, before family, before L, even before his own desires and physical health. He does not enjoy killing—he just turned it into something he could be proud of. Into another mastering of craft. Light is not particularly sadistic, he's just spiteful. He'll only take pleasure in someone's suffering if they make someone else suffer first, especially if that someone is him. Attacking his pride would count as making him suffer, because that's the most important thing in the world to him. Even though Light also values his life incredibly highly, attempting to kill him wouldn't invoke as much hell-hot wrath as attempting to humiliate him would. And Light will always get even. Always. He does not forgive and forget.

• He believes every lie he tells himself. Every. Lie. He is a Good Man. He is Good Son. He is a Savior. He is Better. He is NOT Evil, he is Good. He's incredibly adept at not only fooling other people, but fooling himself. Even if he's vaguely aware of the truth, he'll take great pains to make sure that truth never comes to light—because it would crush him.

• Light does not take his own desires into account. If he likes or wants something that contradicts with the perfect image he's crafted, he purges it from his mind. Makes excuses for why he doesn't need it, or even convinces himself very thoroughly that he didn't even want it in the first place. If it's not something he can be proud of (or convince himself to be proud of), he doesn't allow himself to desire it.

• Light sees everyone as beneath him (family notwithstanding, Light loves his family deeply), and while it's a pyramid scale of how far beneath him they are, it's not actually ranked by things like gender, sexuality, race—it's ranked by morality and intelligence. The more intelligent and moral you are, the higher up you are on the scale. Light feeling hostile towards someone does not always mean he sees them as further down beneath him; with L and Misa specifically, it means that they're a threat. Light tends to only see people near the top of the intelligence pyramid as threats; evidenced by him dismissing Matsuda completely even with the knowledge that Matsuda was a marksmen, and yet him immediately setting out to kill Naomi when he found out she figured out one of Kira's secrets. With Takada and Mikami, he treats them exactly the same as each other because they're both on the same level of the scale—and he didn't hesitate to get rid of either of them. (Or try to get rid of, in Mikami's case). Everyone is either a tool, a threat, a criminal, a citizen, or family to him. People to use (tool, criminal), people to serve and/or placate (citizen, family), and people to eliminate (threat, criminal). Everyone falls into at least one of these categories for him.

• Light Yagami is a tragic character. And he's a tragic character because he refuses to believe he's part of a tragedy. He would rather swallow broken glass than be considered a victim of anything.