#therapy needs to get here sooner and it might

[itastelikesand]

Oh it's Also missing someone like I've never felt before. Jesus Christ it's like I can't catch my breath

Love that I'm experiencing a completely new kind of isolation to me

[heavyhitterheaux]

Wife and Mother To Be

Synopsis: While you and Joe are shopping for a friend's baby shower, he has a realization about his future with you.

Pairing: Joe Burrow x Girlfriend!Reader

Requested by @hoodharlow 😘💕

Please Do Not Repost My Content Anywhere

Standing in the baby section of Target and holding up two different onesies to compare them, your phone started to vibrate in the back pocket of your jeans. Placing one of them across your arm, you pulled your phone out to answer it and was greeted by a frantic boyfriend.

“Baby! Where did you run off to this time? You said we were coming in here for toothpaste and face masks. Next thing I know, I turn around and my girlfriend is missing! Are you at Starbucks again?! You ALWAYS do this when we come in here.” You heard your boyfriend say as you picked up and didn't wait for a proper greeting.

“You were literally standing there for fifteen minutes comparing different ones so I walked away. I'm in the baby section looking at clothes. And no, I already went to Starbucks and my drink is gone so I'll need to make another stop before we leave.”

“No, no, and no. I am literally taking you to lunch so no more stops and wait a minute, why are you in the baby section? Is there something you need to tell me?” Joe asked and you immediately rolled your eyes.

“For Gabby! Her baby shower is tomorrow, remember? Just come over here and help me pick things out for her.”

“Oh, right. Be right there, I'm walking over now.”

It was another two minutes when you saw Joe coming towards you and he greeted you by placing a soft kiss on your lips.

“Wait a minute, why do you have a cart? We got a basket when we came in here. What did you plan on buying her? The entire section? Am I paying for this?”

“Joseph, will you relax!? I'm just getting her a few things and then we can go eat. Now what do you think about these?” You asked as you held up the same two onesies to show him.

“Hmm, what is she having again?” Joe asked as he was looking at both of them.

“A girl, Joe. Both of these are pink.”

“So? What's your point? I wear pink too.”

“But not something that says princess on it!” You responded to him as you laughed.

“At least not yet anyway and I like both of them.”

“Okay good. Both it is and I’m ignoring you.”

“I should ignore you for leaving me by myself.”

“Oh, that's right. I forgot that you need supervision all the time.”

“No, that's you. I'm a responsible adult. You're the one who comes in here for one thing when you tell me you'll be back in twenty minutes but an hour goes by and you're nowhere to be found.”

“And you use whatever I bring back home so you benefit from it so I don’t want to hear it.” You told him with a smirk and now it was Joe’s turn to roll his eyes.

“Come on and help me. Sooner we finish, the sooner we get food and go home.” You told him and he quickly agreed as he started browsing the baby toys.

Before you knew it, another thirty minutes had passed by and the two of you had a cart full of different things for Gabby. You were satisfied with how much you had gotten, but Joe was still browsing.

“Babe, come on. This should be enough.” You told him as you came up behind and wrapped your arms around him as he was now comparing two different diaper brands and you suddenly got a flashback to the toothpaste situation.

“You can never have enough diapers though, right?”

“Sweetheart, we got her four packs already.”

“Yeah, but are those really the best ones? I think that these might be better in case she has a blow out. My nephew did that to me and I still have PTSD. Therapy was needed after that.” Joe told you as he put the other diapers back and you couldn't help but to laugh.

“Not funny, babe. I didn't realize how much shit could come out of someone so little.”

“It is funny, Joseph and I wish I was there to be able to see your face when it happened.”

“Keep going and I'm not feeding you.” Joe told you as he put the diapers you had gotten in the cart back and replaced them with the brand that he wanted.

“But, I need energy in order to ride you later.” You replied and Joe immediately turned a bright shade of red as you began to laugh.

“BABE!”

“What? What'd I say?”

“You know what you said. Come on so we can go.”

Later on that night you were sitting on the middle of the floor in your shared bedroom with Joe when he walked in to see what you were doing.

“You run away from me in Target and at home. Did I do something?” Joe playfully asked as he sat across from you and began to help you wrap the gifts for Gabby.

“Nothing at all, Joey. Doing this so I can spend the rest of the night cuddling my amazing boyfriend whom I love to the moon and back.”

“Just the moon, not further?”

“Well we aren't going to the sun unless we want to burn to a crisp so yeah the moon.”

“I'll take it.”

You were folding the onesies when Joe was simply admiring you. Before he could stop himself, he blurted it out.

“When are we going to have one?” He asked and your mouth instantly hit the floor, but you tried to compose yourself.

“Um, have a what?” You asked clearly flustered and Joe simply laughed.

“You know what I mean.” Joe responded as he pulled you to sit in his lap as he kissed the top of your head while his arms wrapped around you.

“You want a baby? With me?” You asked with your voice dripping with uncertainty.

“I want everything with you. I thought that much was obvious. And not just one baby, multiple.” He answered and you turned around to look at him.

“You're serious?”

“I love you and I'm as serious as a heart attack.”

“Well you low key just gave me one.” You muttered against his chest and he laughed.

“Don't you want that with me?”

“Of course I do. I want nothing more than to make it a reality. I just didn't really know how to tell you or if you were ready. I mean you are literally at the peak of your career.”

“Baby, you can tell me anything and everything. You know that. And so what? If this is something that we both want, we're going to make it work.”

“You're not messing with me?”

“Now, why would I do that? I want to make you my wife too whenever that time comes. Mrs. Sheisty has a nice ring to it, don't you think?”

Now it was your turn to shy away and hide in his chest and all he did was laugh.

“In that case, I can't wait for you and our daughter to have matching pink outfits.”

“Oh, so you want a girl first?”

“Of course, girls run the world and she is going to have you wrapped around her little finger just like I do now.” You told him as you poked his nose.

“If that's the case, you want to get started? I heard that making the baby is the fun part.”

[boxofshadows]

How Pro-Heroes would react to y/n getting attacked by a villain and ending up in the hospital

✦Includes: Midnight, Eraserhead, All Might, Ms. Joke✦

A/N: sfw!! requests are open if your fav isn't here! I'll write for anyone~★

Midnight

Midnight is incredibly good at hiding her emotions, I believe. Shes used to wearing a mask 24/7 in her hero role, so when she finds out you'd been hospitalized by a villain, she puts on a mask of levelheadedness. She would feel guilty if you had to comfort her after you'd just been traumatized.

Course, you aren't used to this side of her, so you assume she doesn't care. You end up breaking down and asking if she even cares.

"Of course I care, love, did I make it seem like I didn't?" "I'm so sorry baby, I just didn't want to stress you more."

After that, things smooth out. If you don't mind the eventual scar, she'll make it into a joke and flirt about it. "Y'know, I always thought scars were attractive~" and similar things.

If you don't like the idea of a scar, she offers comfort, and a way to hide it until you're more comfortable. "If you want, I can help you hide it and minimize it."

Shes very affectionate the entire time, she doesn't leave the hospital until you basically force her to go check on your cat and get some actual sleep.

Secretly blames herself for not being able to protect you.

After you get out of the hospital she doesn't treat you like glass, persay, but she does NOT let you do anything against your doctor's orders.

She also helps you sign up for therapy and reminds you that whatever happened wasn't your fault. (Hypocrite much?)

Kisses you and reassures you 24/7

It takes a bit for her to stop blaming herself, but you work together:)

Eraserhead

Most emotional man I know of. "logical" my ass.

Aizawa is immediately at your side. Like he will run across rooftops to get to you. He has NO chill. Part of me believes he gets to the hospital at the same time as you.

Clingiest motherfucker alive. Every ten minutes in the waiting room it's "Can I go in yet?" To the nurses. He doesn't sit down once.

Once he gets to you literally nothing is capable of getting him away from you.

He comforts you whenever you need it, deep down he knows there was nothing he really could've done to get there sooner. He's completely and totally focused on you.

When your other friends get the clear to see you, Joke takes pictures of you and him sleeping in the most awkward position

Brings your favorite blankets and foods

Makes you a playlist of classical music to help you sleep

Anything you need, bro is on it immediately

Once you're released he refuses to let you do anything strenuous. He opens the car door for you, helps you get buckled, etc etc.

He does take the hint when you ask to shower alone, and backs off a bit after that.

He offers to ask Recovery Girl to heal you, and brings you painkillers when you need them.

He understands your paranoia after the incident and helps you learn basic ways to keep yourself safe.

All Might

Would get to the hospital as soon as he could, but knows that you'd want him to stay and finish any responsibilities.

If he's in the middle of something, he finishes it as fast as he can and then gets to the hospital.

He gets there just as you're being taken to a room

Instantly asking if you're okay, if you need anything. The second you say you need something he's on it.

Also a clingy motherfucker

But he knows how to distract you from whatever hurts with dumb jokes and pictures of his student's progress.

Knows how to fill dead air basically. Doesn't really ask about the villain unless you bring it up, just to make sure he doesn't potentially trigger anything.

Listens empathetically when you tell him about what happened.

Offers to get you food, but you're both indecisive so it's just a back and forth of:

"what do you want to eat?"

"idk, I'm good with whatever, what do you want"

"you're the one in the hospital bed, what do you want?"

"you have to go get it, so-"

"fine, (food you hate) it is."

"..."

Won't treat you like glass, he knows what it's like and fuckin hated it.

Still offers to help you though, he just doesn't want to suffocate you

Takes you on drives across the coast to get a break from the city

Ms. Joke

Tries to act like she wasn't worried and knew you'd be fine the whole time

She didnt

She had to call Midnight to calm her down

Makes jokes about you "being apart of the club now" (having been attacked by villains) and then apologizes for what happened

Brings you treats and things to make you smile (comfort items, silly things she saw at the store, etc)

Has Nemuri smuggle your guy's tiny dog in and out like twice

Sits in silence and watches you sleep

Brings you headphones to drown out the annoying beeping

A little over protective afterwards

Clingy, but not Shouta clingy.

"you should go home"

"why, is something wrong?"

"you haven't left the hospital in a week, you clown."

"oh yeah. Oops!"

"..."

"ok ok I'm going!"

Showers, but also washes the exact same clothes and rewears them just to fuck with you "you didn't say I had to change"

"tell me you washed those, em, or you're on the couch and the dog gets your pillows."

"Of course I did!"

[inkskinned]

one of the things about having an unstable parent is that it can so easily ruin your future. you want to get out, but getting out takes having agency. it takes the resume and the grades and the stellar community service history.

but you have to choose your battles. you know if you sign up for an after-school activity, it'll be okay for a while, so long as the activity is parent-approved and god-fearing. over time, like all things, it will become an argument (i can't keep carting your ass to these things) or a weapon (talk to me like that again, see if you get to go to practice). sometimes, if you love the thing, it's worth it. but you also know better than to love something: that's how they get you. if you ever actually want something, it will always be the center of their attention. they will never stop threatening you with it. telling you of course i'm a good parent, i came to all of those stupid events.

you learn to balance yourself perfectly. you can either have a social life or you can have hobbies. both of these things will be under constant scrutiny. you spend too much time with her, you should be at home with family is equally paired with you're acting like this because you're addicted to what's on that goddamn screen. you cannot ever actually win, so everything falls within a barter system that you calculate before entering: do you want to learn how to drive? if so, you'll need to give up asking for a new laptop, even though yours died. maybe you can work on a computer at the library. of course, that would mean you'd be allowed to go to the library, which would mean something else has to bleed. nothing ever actually comes free.

and that bitter, horrible irony: you could be literally following their orders and it still isn't pretty. they tell you to get a job; they hate that your job keeps you late and gives you access to actual money. they tell you to do better in school; they say no child of mine needs a tutor. they want you to stop being so morose, don't you know there are people who are really suffering - but they revile the idea you might actually need therapy.

you didn't survive that fall the way other people would. you've seen other people scramble and get their way out, however they could. maybe you were made too-soft: the answer didn't come to you easily. it wasn't quick. it was brutal and nasty. some people even asked you why didn't you just work hard and escape during school? and you felt your head spinning. why didn't you? (they control your financial aid. they control your loan status. they love having that kind of thing). maybe in another life you got diagnosed sooner and got the meds you needed to actually focus and got attention from the right teachers who helped you clear hurdles to get up out of here - but for now? here?

the effort of trying. the effort of not-dying. that kind of effort was absolutely agonizing.

[dairy-farmer]

You know what just occurred to me? The phrase "all sex is transgressive".

The healing properties of roleplay and (PROPERLY DONE) bdsm.

Why go to THERAPY when you can fuck it out instead? Confront your trauma and heartbreak in that distinctly fucked up Bat way instead? Never let your gaurd down unless it's during sex? In which you are a messy, messy bitch? A raw nerve?

Suuuuuuper healthy, guys, no really! They don't need therapy, who needs THERAPY! Ha ha!

But like? Think of all the terrifying situations. The messed up and surreal. That they can just... reclaim. Take from feeling complicated and sick about... and turn it into catharsis.

Plus it's a great way to build up a Pollen resistance.

And like? It probably starts with that horrible "future that never's gonna be Gun Batman" THING where they all turned evil. And like... they only JUST sorta figured out how they felt about each other For Real For REAL, you know? Touched stuff. Got more then a PG rating if you get their drift.

Then BLAM! Evil future selves.

Tim is... is kinda super messed up about it. Had to threaten to KILL himself to win. And... and that doesn't really feel like winning, you know? So like??? Pizza and movies isn't really cutting it right now.

Then? Bart saves a... particular sort of nightclub, during a solo patrol. And BEING Bart? Is very owo? New Knowledge™? And asks how this whole *spasming hand waving* Thing works.

The greatful civilians he rescued are happy to explain. It sparks an idea. HE speed reads through every bit of available literature he can find. Tracks down Kon. Explains to HIM his idea! Kon chokes on his 2am snack.

Isn't saying NO mind you... but holy SHIT man, warn a guy!

So that? Is how they end up setting aside some time. Drawing up Sexy, Sexy Villian-sona's that DO NOT look like their evil future selves. Far less practical, far more sexy leather and unnecessary buckles n spikes. They need hair gel!

They get INTO IT.

Are not the sort to half ass a disguise OR a Role. Tim has a full BACKSTORY for his fake sexy Hero-sona. Motivations. A sexy rebellion against the evil empire. The hunt him down. A fight. Getting tied up and brought to his knees, still gasping for air, Bart's hands a vibrating death threat mere inches from his throat. Clamped down on his shoulders to keep him from surging to his feet.

Commander Kon, a sweeping cap. The classic join me speech. Sexy single finger forcing his head to tilt up, with a finger that might as well be made of DIAMOND. Metahuman strength, held in check, but slide across his skin like the flat side of a knife.

Dangerous, dangerous~

Better be GOOD, Hero.

Feeling that deep well of defiance. That "I'd sooner DIE, then join the likes of YOU" hiss and spit up his spine. All magnificent bravery and unbending strength.

Exhausting. God it's... it's so exhausting to hold on to. To keep fighting. But he HAS too. He HAS too! The never ending battle. (He's not okay. He's scared and hurting and he's not okay) And oh, OH there it finally is. What they're all here for. Gonna tear that away. Let Tim rest for a bit and pick it up tomorrow. They commit to the "story". The scene.

They have WAYS of dealing with Heros like you. Commander Kon thinks you'll find the benefits plentiful, once you've come to you senses. Tim scoffs. Continues to refuse. Expects pain to soon follow. His Hero-sona is prepared for pain.

Not pleasure.

Not a gentle, immovable hand to cup his cheek. A smirking villian to looks so very smug down at him, as TTK slides instantly across his body and holds him, frozen, in place. A gloved thumb lazily strokes his cheek. He can't even squirm.

The hands on his shoulders slide down his arms and then back up, equally lazy. As though half heartedly trying to warm him back up. They're still vibrating. Forward to grope and explore his chest. He can't even arch into the teasing. Can't squirm at the new feeling.

Gloved thumb rubbing against Tim's lips. Gently pulling him mouth open. N... Nowhere to go.

Bart pressed to his Back. Whispering dark praise and filthy observations. Playing up his "evil second in commend" role. As Kon rubs himself against Tim's mouth. Rubbing and rocking, so very gently, until he has the tip restly in that perfect little heat. Gripping his head to gently guide him.

Bart finally getting a hand down those pants. Victorious. Pampering and focused and he tries to melt Tim's brain. As Tim tries to remember how to breathe. Be good for us. Be GOOD for us~ you can do that. A bit of TTK makes short work of Tim's pants and? Greedy, curious, exploring fingers.

Bart is EVERYWHERE and so FAST.

All Tim can do is whine and shake and be... be good. Drool. His mouth is so full.

Then HE is so full. Bart burying his face in the back of Tim's costume, arms around him like a vice, body humming with power, as he desperately... in jerky little movements... rutts his way in. Babbles low and overwhelmed against his back. Before... before... oh god.

Tim's body lights up. Bart is nearly a blurr against him. Groaning and hissing filthy things. Babbling about how GOOD Kons gonna fuck him. How great he feels. Tim barely remembers what he's even supposed to be doing. Focuses on getting off instead.

Then it's Kons turn. To, of course, "convince him to join them" etc etc. Seduce him to evil and so forth. They like to keep it classy and cliche. Bart holds him while KON gets his turn. Pumps his guts until he's sobbing, keeps going. He taps out a lot later then any of them expected.

They discover it's A Thing for them. Especially with just how GOOD Tim is at disguises. There... are a LOT of trauma you can add "sexy" in front off that honestly? Help them cope with shit.

Everyone wants to know how they got DO GOOD at staying in character, no matter how startled or stressed. How distracted. >.> <.< it... it was uuuuuh.... p-practice. Team work. Yeah. Yeah that's the ticket! Practice and teamwork!

-🐼🐼🐼

timkon bartim

!!! tim, bart, and kon role playing together to cope with their various traumas accumulated on the job and learning not only do they like it VERY much but also it inadvertently helps them do their job better 😭😭😭!!

[lovelyyandereaddictionpoint]

What about accidentally sitting on obey me brothers face??

Accidentally Sitting On Their Face | Yandere Obey Me!

Lucifer 

“How in the Devildom did you end up like this?!”

“I don’t want to point fingers but it was-”

“Mammon? I’m going to kill him, just hold tight I’ll get up the steps to get you.”

“No! Agh I’m slipping!”

“(Y/n)!”

He just so happened to find you hanging on the railing of the mansion during their stay in the human world

But the human world has a tendency to make you slow

So it didn’t really occur to him to transform and fly up to you 

All he mustered at the time was catching you himself

He might have miscalculated as you sat firmly on his face

“Ahhh Luci! I’m so sorry!” 

Horrified you spring up 

letting him gain his bearings as he wiped imaginary dust off his pants

“I wished we could save such activities for the bedroom but if you insist.”

He’s usually so composed when you try to tempt him

But your boldness just gets the best of him

“Where are you going, we’re not done here.”

Mammon

“Go ahead (Y/n) just grab as much as you can! I have a whole bag!”

“Okay okay just don’t squeeze too hard!”

If it weren’t for his ultimate goal of getting the mineral deposit he would have been indulging in the intimacy of holding you up

Trying to push yourself up higher you wobbled with a loss of balance

Coming crashing down on the avatar of greed

“Oh, my–Mammon are you okay? Can you breath at all.”

“Mmmm~”

He can’t 

But why would he when he’s deeply focused on suffocating in your scent

He would have never had a chance otherwise

He whines when you lift up from him 

Turning his head when you question the attitude change

When he gets more confident he’ll ask you to do it on purpose

“Come on, lucky charm! It’s for luck in the casino! Don’t you want to give me luck!?”

Satan

It’s all his fault 

This man would sooner murder his brother with a ‘prank’ than clean his room

Even when you decide to actually come to hang out in his room 

It’s a given that you slip while he’s nose-deep in this latest book

Providing the perfect distraction for a demon otherwise too focused to even think about the cleanliness of his room

“Ahh ouch! But of course, I would slip because you don’t clean…Satan?”

“...”

“Why is it so hot down…Ah, Satan!? Are you okay?”

“...Yes, I just…give me a minute…”

He’s spacing out for the rest of the week replaying the moment over and over again

It’s appalling how unprepared for this he is

Practically high on ecstasy for a week

He needs to get himself together if not for your sanity than for his own

“Y-you want me to sit on your face?”

“Yes, this is the perfect form for exposure therapy. So that hopefully next time this should happen I’ll be better able to handle it.”

He never will

Leviathan

Similar scene 

It's dark he leaves a lot of things laying around

And when he’s forcing you to sit in his lap for hours at a time 

When you finally get up your plummeting right back down

Providing Levi with the plush softness of your butt

Now as long as he’s not on a checkpoint who are we kidding he’d be happy even still

“Mmmmmm!”

“Aaaaaaaa!!”

“OmigoshOmigoshOmigoshOmigosh you’re on top of me! I’m in you! Aaahhh this is just like that scene from the Rurichan!!! This is my moment!”

He’s oddly hyped

He takes it as a reward for some of the instant kill missions he’s completed in your name

Rationalizing that you're too wonderful, too mighty to tell him directly

So this is your little way of thanking him

So excuse his forceful behavior when you try to get up

“L-levi you can’t keep doing this! You’ve got to let me go!”

“Nope! I’m reaping the conquest of my grinding…ha ha..in life I mean.”

Asmodeus

“Whoa you almost got it (Y/n)~! Just keep looking~!”

“Is it really far back, I can’t seem to–eh?! Asmo you’re holding the latter right?”

“Huh-uh!”

Totally orchestrates the scenario

He’s been thinking about it for a while 

And cuddling just isn’t doing it for him anymore

Rather he’s looking for some new material to jerk himself off to

He’s very much still into cuddling, he’s just peeved he got caught

“Ooops~!”

“Ah!”

Landing perfectly on his face, Asmo is so pleased he actually did the math for this

He squishes his face into your crevices

Unrefutably sniffing as he holds your shocked self in place

Maybe even a lick or two or twenty

“Ah~Asmodeus! S-stop it! Let me up!”

“Ahh~! I wish I could see your face~but I’m a little busy!”

Beelzebub

“What are you going up there?”

“Dang it Beel, this is my stash! I–whoa!”

“(Y/n)!” He catches you 

But with his face

True to form he doesn’t necessarily pick up on the implication

But he knows one thing 

“Mmmhmhmh!”

“Beel! Don’t try to talk to me just let me-”

“But it smells good here…can I–”

“No Beel! Stop! Let go of my–Ah! Don’t use your teeth!”

He acts like a starving animal trying to get a taste

Either give him a taste or throw him a bone

“I just really like that feeling…I want to feel it again.”

Belphegor

It's known that Belphie sleeps anywhere

Not only that 

He walks in his sleep 

So it isn’t bizarre that he ends up sleeping where you might be sitting

“Oh my gosh, Belphie-? What?”

“Zzzzz stay–zzz”

He’s not letting go 

No matter how hard you pull or try to unhook his fingers 

It makes you wonder if he’s even sleeping at this point

“Oh? (Y/n) what are doing…”

“I accidentally…sat here but then you wouldn’t let me go…but now that your awake can you let me–”

“Nope.”

“What?!”

“I think I’ll turn you around but I’m not letting you go.”

[atimesfeeler]

RAAAAAH I finally posted my fic about Wade’s chronic pain!

If you guys gave it a little read it would mean a lot to me 👉👈

Here’s a little excerpt of my fav part

Wade took his silence as judgment and shrank into himself. “Whatever. Just forget I said anything, okay? I’ll leave you to your alcohol addiction if you turn a blind eye to my self-harm, alright?”

Wade brushed past him, and Logan stopped him by impaling Wade’s arm on his claws.

Stopped, Wade hissed and jerked back into Logan, narrowing his eyes at Logan in anger.

“See, the thing is, bub, you’ve been helping me with that,” Logan said gruffly. “And I didn’t even ask you to, but you did.”

The tense line of Wade’s shoulders loosened slightly, listening.

“You say hurting helps? I may not get it, but I’ll help you,” Logan said, and maybe a little bit of him did understand. He definitely understood that the line between pain and pleasure was very thin for someone like him. Briefly, their fight in the Honda Odyssey flashed through his mind, and the elation he felt as Wade jammed his swords into his stomach and his blood splattered onto his teeth. Fighting Wade was elating and even the pain of it mixed with pleasure, but Logan didn't do it for the same reasons as Wade did.

“I don’t need help,” Wade said quietly, “You were just. There. I saw an opportunity, and I took it.”

It might have stung if Logan didn’t know exactly what Wade was doing. Pushing him away because he felt vulnerable. Hating the feeling of needing someone, but desperately needing them to look past the stubborn rejections and see the real plea for help behind them.

Logan shrugged, feigning nonchalance. “Then take it again, red. If you’re such an opportunist.”

Wade puffed a disbelieving breath through his nose. “You’re serious? You’ll fight me?”

“Sure, on one condition.”

Wade narrowed his eyes at Logan, but let him continue.

“Anytime you feel like this?” Logan gestured behind him to the tracks, “Anytime you wanna jump in front of a moving truck? Get me instead. I’ll rough you up.”

Wade let out a singular chuckle, slightly more amused than a scoff, and Logan wanted to rip Wade’s mask off with his teeth to see his lips twitching into a smile.

“You’re a jealous Wolverine. Want exclusive rights to beat me up?”

“Something like that,” Logan rumbled, “No one can rough you up unless it’s me, and you ask me real pretty.”

Wade stiffened and at first, Logan thought he had gone too far, but Wade looked at the floor and gripped Logan’s wrist that was currently impaling him. Logan sniffed and caught a whiff of something similar to embarrassment, maybe even arousal, underneath the pungent smell of sickness. Logan didn’t know how he didn’t notice it sooner. He supposed he just assumed that was how Wade smelled, but now he vowed to pay more attention to when the scent of pain and sickness spiked in Wade’s scent.

“Wade?” Logan prompted.

“Honestly, I didn’t think I’d get this far. I thought you’d fight me or maybe tell me to fuck off, not make sweet promises about hurting me.”

Logan winced at the wording. “You want it, right? It helps?”

“It does,” Wade admitted, less defensive, less guarded now that Logan wasn’t reacting like everyone else did. He didn’t demand that Wade stop or take it somewhere else. He didn’t scream in horror or cry, begging Wade to explain why, why are you doing this, baby? Please don’t do this. Like Vanessa had. Sure, Logan did scream, in anger, but because Wade lied and told him it was a prank just to push his buttons because he knew it would work. Logan was offering help in a way that felt different from everyone else. It wasn’t therapy or hiding his knives. It was listening to what Wade said and maybe even understanding it in a small way.

“Any pain that’s not from me,” Wade blurted out, “It’s… it’s good.”

He didn’t plan to explain any of this to Logan. In fact, he was trying to take it to his grave or hide it for as long as he could get away with. When Logan inevitably found out, Wade assumed that Logan would either leave because Wade was a fucked up mess, or ignore it like all his friends did. (Wade didn’t blame his friends. Not one bit. They tried to help, but Wade shut them down and pushed them away. He never complained and tried his hardest to never show this side of himself to them.)

Logan nodded with a thoughtful look in his gaze. He was staring at Wade like he was studying him, and Wade squirmed a bit and then hissed as the three blades in his arm shifted in his ligaments and sent a wave of external pain shuddering through him. Wade fluttered his eyes involuntarily as it temporarily overrode the aching, eating pain of his cancer-ridden body. Logan’s eyes flickered down to his arm and, oh shit, Wade was starting to regret telling him that it actually felt good.

“What hurts?” Logan asked.

Wade huffed. “Everything.”

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for requesting my boyfriend to be more affectionate with me?

(🪴 for identification)

I'll try to keep this as brief as I possibly can. I (25F) have been living with my partner of 5 years (26M) for around 1 entire year. We share the rent of the apartment and prices of anything else the house needs, but otherwise we buy whatever we need ourselves.

I am in my second year of college while he's on his third. Our relationship never had many issues as we always were good at communicating and never tried to let issues get to us, but in recent months things have been getting harder for me to deal with.

Our rule was to usually keep saturdays free from work and studying to spend time with each other. This might sound dumb to some people, but judging as we both have to study and work during week days and I am a sensitive person I always found it necessary to have a day we can just stay with one another. He knows the importance of this for me as he was there with me during my bpd diagnosis and is also fully aware of how badly one of my exes fucked me up, so for all those past years in our relationship he was always loving and attentive to me, something which me and any of my friends can attest to.

However, in recent weeks (I'd say since around the middle of january?) he's been clearly avoiding me. I've tried to talk to him about whatever may be happening and he just said he's been focusing on studying for uni which is fully understandable and good! However, last week I asked him if we could spend this saturday (feb 24) together since I've been heavily missing him and he's possibly aware of that as he's mentioned my current behavior is off from my usual. (I almost told him he's the same, but I held off)

To my request, he replied he can't since he already promised a mutual friend of ours he'd be going to help him with something, to which I asked if I could join them! Again, it's a mutual friend so I didn't feel anything was wrong with that, but apparently I was intruding into his life and should let him have some time for himself.

Here is where I might be the asshole. After him acting cold to me for weeks and using the excuse that "he was busy, of course he can't be all warm and kind to me when he's stressed" (which mentally I called bullshit as I was doing the same things as him plus volunteering at the nearby school to help the kids and still kept trying to be affectionate), I snapped and said that if I'm his girlfriend, he should at least give me some affection and love (in a slightly louder tone of voice). I know anger issues have been a constant ever since before my diagnosis, but I've been keeping them somewhat under control since I began therapy, so I didn't break anything or hurt either of us, but I know my anger always scared him. He got defensive and said he loves me but is just busy and can't act affectionately towards me when he's constantly stressed, to which I replied that well, so am I but it didn't stop me from continuing to put effort into our relationship. After getting the cold shoulder from him for all those weeks I finally cried and locked myself into my room afterwards, packing to stay with my closest friend after I texted her if I could stay for a bit.

I'm currently with her and she's been making sure I'm comfortable and alright, trying to make time for us to watch things together or simply talk while I'm here so I don't feel so lonely. He has been texting me from a variety of things such as apologies to him trying to justify he was busy and stressed so of course he'd act cold to me. I've been replying to him, but after he called me overdramatic in one of the texts I've come back to ignoring him.

I don't want to throw out all our years together like this, but I still feel hurt and ignored by him from those weeks. I know we will have to talk sooner or later but currently I'm still scared of doing so.

So, am I the asshole for asking my partner to give me some attention? This isn't the first time this has happened, but definitely the first one it went this far and I feel that it's fully on me, for context.

What are these acronyms?

[karume-everything-else]

Flufftober 2023

Day 25: Unexpected Kiss [Reader x Gaara] {Naruto Shippuden}

Laying in a hospital bed, unable to tell waking from dreams, Gaara had all the time to come to terms with the fact that he had died. If it hadn't been for Lady Chiyo and Naruto, he would have never been able to... Even if it was for the safety of the village, Gaara lamented the idea that he wouldn't see you again.

The mental image of you weeping over his grave haunted him.

But Gaara had very little he could do about it at the moment. He was still here, still living... there was still time to tell you how he felt and what you meant to him. Not just a reliable shinobi, not just a trusted friend, but someone Gaara truly cared about... someone he...

If he had known you'd be let in, allowed to see him by yourself, Gaara would likely have thought about how to go about the first time you two would interact. He knew you would be just getting back from a lengthy mission, that you'd likely be told what happened. But when he saw you sitting there...

He thought he was dreaming.

"[Name]?" He reached out, even in his dreams you felt so real, "I'm glad you came to see me."

"Of course, Kazekage-sama." You snickered slightly, as the left-hand shinobi you were often privy to sensitive information, "I was told about your abduction and resurrection. But how are you feeling?"

"Much better with you here." He struggled to sit up, only just accepting help, "Though my joints are still a little stiff, despite the physical therapy I've been doing."

You hummed slightly, "Well, rigor mortis isn't exactly something that can be reversed easily. Is there any specific spot that I might be able to help ease the tension of?"

"Come a little closer please."

Confused, you leaned in. Following Gaara's beckoning even though it didn't make any kind of sense. It wasn't as if he needed to keep it secret, not when the two of you were completely alone.

But you were so thankful you were as Gaara hooked onto the back of your neck. Before you had more than three seconds to respond, his lips had crashed against yours hard.

For whatever reason, you were expecting to be hindered by his sand armor, but there was no trace of it. Maybe that was because Gaara hadn't been able to build up his chakra reserves, maybe he just dismissed it from around his mouth, maybe it didn't matter during intimate moments like this...

Though you were trying so hard to not lean onto him. As wonderful as it was to finally kiss the man you admired, you knew he was still injured and didn't need you falling on top of him. Not like this.

After what felt like an eternity, Gaara eased up. Soft, pointed breaths punctuated the moment, he was clinging to your sleeve so you couldn't pull away as readily. You couldn't help but stare into his light green eyes, wondering what in the world came over him to pull a stunt like that.

Even if you secretly deeply enjoyed it.

"I should have told you so much sooner." Gaara murmured, "How I feel about you, how much you mean to me. Just how badly I've been wanting to kiss you like that. I would do so over and over again... once you return of course."

Something deep in your mind broke, flooding your face with color and mixed emotions. He didn't even realize what he just did and now you'd have to break the news once he was in the proper state of mind.

Was it too soon to start screaming internally?

[purrfectly-nina]

IN SEMI-DEFENSE OF JACKSON <3

Jackson hate is a little forced imo cause he’s really just a teenage boy battling depression and grief and is constantly stressed and anxious about things being out of his control for really no reason. Like you have to remember Jackson has known these people for only a couple of months at this point and they bullied him and Exer made his life shit for a good bit of it 😭 now I love Exer that’s my princess and Jackson has made mistakes but it’s what makes him an interesting and dynamic character, people complain all the time that Jackson is boring and one note but he’s really not if you pay attention to his flaws as character traits and not just “oh Jackson here we go again 🙄”

+

For just season 3 stuff so far he’s kept 1. leaving therapy a secret from Pam 2. Not telling anyone about the diary and Used the diary to manipulate Exer (both consciously and unconsciously) and 3. Spent time with the reds as a form of getting information and its kinda manipulation tbh so I just wanted to give my 2 cents on it in defense and criticism of Jackson cause he’s paralleling Exer in a lot of ways and it’s unfair that he gets shit on so much when Exer is loved and praised by the fandom (again Exer is my favourite character).

+

1. Leaving therapy a secret from Pam is not a good thing Jackson is doing, he shouldn’t have kept it from her and he shouldn’t have lied that it wasn’t that big of a deal because a big theme in this comic is that keeping secrets and lying really hurts people and relationships and you need to be open and honest with those you love. That being said it’s a really hard subject that he’s still getting over himself, therapy was a safe space for him where he was finally in control and was heard not just listened to. He’s still getting over this and he could barely even talk to Harry for weeks without feeling horrible so yea it’s a really troubling thing for him to think about. He told the detention kids because sometimes it’s easier to be open with friends who get the situation than your girlfriend who you don’t want to disappoint because she was so happy you were getting better and how do you tell her your world fell apart all over again and you’re scared. I’m not saying this excuses his actions I just think there needs to be a bit more understanding here, Jackson should have told her sooner and tell her that he’s not happy about it but he’s also not ready to talk about it just yet, it’ll be good for him to open up to Pam more instead of trying to keep up an illusion that he’s doing great but it’s a hard thing to shake.

+

2. Telling anyone about the Diary, especially Exer is not fucking easy at all. Some of you are making it sound like if he just told them everything would go smoothly and well and that he’s the bad guy for keeping it hidden. So go on and tell me how exactly you’d tell the person who bullied you over petty reasons that you might have accidentally manipulated and fabricated their feelings and that you’re the reason he apologized, you’re the reason he got a job and started over, you’re the reason he confessed as is dating his boyfriend and that none of it is real and that you did it all by accident. Because that’s exactly what Jackson thinks he did, while I don’t agree with Jackson’s theory he’s convinced of it himself. For all Jackson knows Exer really is that prick back in season 1 and the only reason he changed is cause he wrote it down. That’s a lot of weight on your shoulders especially the whole romance thing I mean Jackson wholeheartedly thinks he accidentally manipulated Exer into falling in love with someone and that’s a very heavy burden to carry cause wtf do you do with that as a 17 y/o depressed child. Not to mention that the Diary is his therapy journal so that’s his one healthy outlet destroyed and he feels guilty about ever coping using it so that only fuels his self hatred and mental health issues. All of this without mentioning he’s still grieving over his mother who gave him the damn thing and now he can’t even have that once connection he has with her because of course it’s tied to Exer the person who’s made his life so difficult up till now. NOW!! Pause, this does not excuse his actions but it does explain them, Jackson is not in the right here because at the end of the day he does need to talk to Ex about it because, accident or not, he’s manipulating him and he needs to know. It’s actually incredibly interesting how much this parallels to season 1 Exer, Exer who started purposely using his magic to cause harm and then slowly losing control and doing it by accident (all while not telling Jackson he has magic which made it hurt so much more) versus Jackson’s harm being on accident at first but now he’s experimenting and knowingly causing changes to Exer. This is a big flaw of Jackson’s, he wants to understand before he takes action but only in ways that benefit him. He wanted to understand Exer’s magic before he told Pam and now he wants to understand his own before he tells anyone and we all saw how that turned out with Pam and the others in season 1/2 so Jack’s definitely going to learn his lesson. Remember that if Exer got that mad cause he was jealous over petty things how do you think Jackson, who thinks he’s one of the only reason Exer became nice, thinks Exer is gonna react to something as big as this!!

+

3. This is a bad thing aaallll around and Jackson needs to stop 😭!!! Jackson hanging out with the reds just because he wants to study Exer is not a good thing but it’s an interesting character flaw!! This goes back to what I was saying earlier, he wants to know and understand and will fixate on it so bad he neglects the consequences. Not only is he harming the reds by manipulating them into thinking he cares and is friends with them he’s also really hurting himself. As much as I would love for them all to be friends again, Jackson just isn’t in that headspace right now where he can. He’s so obsessed with the magic and how it’s affected him that he can’t get over the bullying, he can’t get over how Exer used his magic to hurt him, he can’t get over him hurting Pam, he can’t accept the many apologies, he hasn’t even accepted that Exer wasn’t in control all the time. He just can’t move on. He needs to move on and not because what happened wasn’t hurtful and is all in the past now (it’s been like 2 months since Halloween mind you) but because he needs to let go and prioritize himself instead of holding onto all this anger. He’s not just an asshole who can’t get over being bullied (which like even if he was that’s valid to a degree), he’s so obsessed with regaining control of his life and understanding what the fuck is going on that he’s actively choosing to hurt himself to hang out with people he doesn’t like. He doesn’t have to be their friends and he doesn’t have to forgive them, yes they’ve gotten better and yes they’re sorry but tbh if my bullies apologized and everything I would not forgive them and I’d certainly not be friends with them. They just need to go their separate ways until Jackson knows what he wants. But it’s hard. Being 17 and struggling with mental health (IN THE 80s!!) is very very hard and that’s before you even begin with the magic shit so cut him some slack.

Anyways this was so long and rambley I’m sorry, I just don’t love the Jackson hate I see when he and Exer are so similar but he doesn’t get the grace of being adored and pawed at. Do I love Jackson? Not as much as I do Exer but I get him, I get being a teen trying to save myself while everything around me keeps trying to push me down so I respond in anger and I’m so over everyone being so mean to him. I could go on for ages and make more points but that’s it for now so!!!! Anyways support Paola on patreon 🩷🩷🩷

[halfagone]

Sudden thought I had:

Phantom, after everything he did for Amity, now being an adult (I'm putting at 27 here) with the necessary emotional maturity to recognize that he doesn't owe them anything, seals the portal, places the entire frame in his lair for safekeeping, along with all the blueprints his parents had, and leaves to go explore the world, like his little girl likes to do so much (I'm a sucker for Danny adopting Ellie, and being very supportive of her while also being always ready to be summoned next to her and crack some skulls if needed).

While going through Paris, and finding a pair of teenage heroes, like he and Valerie had once been, Danny decided he can take a break from his travelling to helpd these baby heroes and give them the training and support they need.

They get along better than anyone expected. Danny is Life and Death, Balance personified. Who else would be better to teach the hosts of Creation and Destruction than the one who embodies both in perfect balance?

I'm envisioning Danny sits down to have a nice chat with the Guardian about getting the kids proper training, and he's not going anywhere. The kwami in the box swarm him because he feels like a spirit of incredible power, and really, what else would happen except Danny finding himself taking spiritual custody over two teenage heroes who are clearly way over their heads fighting literal adults.

Step number one: get legal custody of Adrien Agreste and get his father charged to the fullest extent of the law for being so negligent to his own son.

I'm seeing this going 2 ways:

Danny gets custody over Adrien, moves into an apartment next to the Dupain-Cheng bakery, and their place becomes Vigilante Central, with Phantom often watching over the kids as they go out at night, typically going invisible to not give away his presence.

Hawkmoth tries one last desperate move to get the Miraculous before the police come for him. He takes to the field...and is subsequently trounced by Phantom, who beats him into the ground for picking on a bunch of children instead of getting therapy.

Plucking the Miraculous and setting the kwami within free from the old man's control, certainly expedited the process of acquiring custody over Adrien, but it also sent the poor boy spiraling for a while.

Or 2:

Their entire issues are solved by Gabriel being unable to use his Miraculius, because prison doesn't really...allow...jewellery. Which means Hawkmoth no longer shows up. Until Natalie, ever loyal to her boss, picks up the Moth Miraculous and tries to make his dreams come true. Except Phanton is...a little more ready to throw hands, and by the gods she's going to catch them whether she wants to or not.

By the end of it, Danny just doesn't really go anywhere else. Just stays in France full-time to help raise these two reckless kids. And sure, Marinette has her own wonderful parents. Doesn't mean Adopted Cousin Fenton won't spoil her rotten and enable all her chaotic gremlin tendencies while also keeping her safe. Add Ellie into the mix, and Paris has never been more happy and yet annoyed by all these gremlin heroes running around, cracking the most awful jokes and keeping the city safe.

I actually really like the idea of option 2, not gonna lie. I like the slow, dawning realization some people might have, Adrien specifically, as they realize the possible reason for Hawkmoth's sudden disappearance. While I usually like public reveals for Danny, for Hawkmoth I actually prefer more low-key ones because I know people would probably blame or question Adrien for not knowing sooner. (Because let's face it, this is the same world that lets kids like Chloé get away with all sorts of stuff.) So I think if I ever wrote a fic following along with this kind of idea, I would actually go the route of #2.

You're giving me such brain worms, don't do this to me! One of these days I may actually have to commit to a crossover between these two specifically, and I already have so much to write TAT

[kissorkill16]

Worried: A Hello Neighbor Fanfic

By JJ

Summary: The principal calls the delinquent to the office, but not for the reason you might think.

"Could Nicholas Roth please report to the main office?"

The entire class started gawking at Nicky, and the boy felt uncomfortable under their eyes, so he quickly got up and walked out the door.

He walked down the hall to the principal's office, wondering what he could've done to make her ask for him. When he finally got there, he opened the door to see her sitting at her desk, hands folded, and a plate of chocolate chip cookies sitting on the left side of her desk.

"Hello, Nicky.", she said. "Have a seat."

Nicky walked into her office, and sat down on the chair across from her.

"Now, do you know why you're here?", she asked. Nicky shook his head. "No, ma'am. Did I do something wrong? Because I haven't been to detention in a long while."

Principal Abanate shook her head, "No, dear. You haven't done anything wrong. Though, there is something I need to talk to you about. It's about Mr. Murtaugh. He says you've been skipping your weekly therapy sessions with him?"

Nicky sighed and looked at his lap. He made sure to steer clear of Mr. Murtaugh ever since he tried to poison him, but he couldn't tell her that, there was no way she'd believe him.

"Would you mind telling me about that?"

Nicky shook his head again, "You're not going to believe me."

"Try me, darling."

The boy crossed his arms and pressed his lips tightly together, not giving in. Principal Abanate sighed.

"Nicholas, this is serious.", she said. "I'm worried about you."

Nicky widened his eyes, and he couldn't help but laugh. Principal Abanate was taken aback. Why was he laughing?

"Are you...laughing?"

Nicky shook himself off and stopped laughing, "I'm sorry, it's just so hard to believe. You, the perfect principal, worried about the brash delinquent whose never given you anything but trouble. Tell me, does that not sound hard to believe?"

Principal Abanate looked down at her folded hands, "I suppose it does sound a bit crazy, but I promise you it's true."

Nicky rolled his eyes. "Yeah, right, whatever. If you were really worried about me, you would've listened to me more when I said I was worried about Aaron and Mya's disappearance. If you were really worried about me, you would've listened to my side of the story when Finch took that picture of me having a mental breakdown. Don't pretend you care, I know you don't."

Principal Abanate got up from her desk and walked to Nicky, and put a hand on his shoulder. "Nicholas, I do care. I'm calling you up here to tell you that I was aware that you haven't been going to therapy. Does that not sound like I care?"

Nicky didn't answer.

"All I want to know is why you haven't been going."

Nicky turned his head the other way, still not answering.

"Dear, you have to go to therapy."

Nicky slammed his fist on her desk, "Maybe I feel like I don't need it anymore! Things are already getting better and I've been making a lot of progress ever since I came back. I don't need therapy anymore."

"You do if you're having outbursts like that."

Nicky groaned and pulled at his hair, Principal Abanate held both of his hands in hers, and bent down to meet his eyes.

"Nicholas, I know you think you don't need therapy anymore, lots of mentally unstable people like you think that, but lots of people are worried about you. Especially me and Mr. Murtaugh. Sooner or later, you're going to have to go back."

The boy looked down at his lap. He hated to admit it, but she was right. With everything he's been through, everything he's been going through, he might have to face Mr. Murtaugh, even if he tried to poison him. But what's to say he won't do it again?

He decided not to argue, "You're right. I'll go talk to him whenever I have a problem."

The principal smiled, she picked up a cookie from the plate and gave it to Nicky, watching as he took a small bite. "Good boy.", she said as she gently patted his head.

[daughterofcain-67]

𝕽𝖆𝖎𝖘𝖊𝖉 𝖎𝖓 𝕭𝖑𝖔𝖔𝖉 (𝔭𝔱. 3)

(Dean Winchester x Reader)

(masterlist)

𝐬𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐲: The Winchester's have finally made it to Ohio to begin their hunt and Sam is looking forward to finally meeting this 'Daughter of Cain' Castiel has told him about. But how will Dean handle the real reason why they were here and what if this ends up not being a key to defeating Metatron after all? And would you even be willing to help Dean Winchester?

𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬: SPN spoilers, typical SPN violence,

Sam and Dean have finally made it to Ohio and they had just checked into their hotel room. It was about mid afternoon and Dean set his stuff down on the mattress he'd likely listen to music on rather than sleep on. Then he was already almost out the door.

"Wait, Dean, where are you going?" Sam asked as he set his stuff down and started following his brother.

"We have to check out the tattoo parlors, right? The sooner we figure out which one we need to go to the better. Maybe whatever lead this is has something to do with Metatron." The elder brother answered.

"We don't know that for sure but how would we know which one to start with? There's like a half a dozen shops we drove by. We can't just storm into every one of them guns blazing." Sam reminded and Dean rolled his eyes a little, growing a little frustrated that Sam was always worried about planning things. But he supposed he was right.

"Well, you and Cass were the ones that found this lead, or case, or whatever this is. Did he say which one the demon supposedly entered and never came out of?" Dean asked.

"Well, no. But we can pose as Feds working on a missing person's case just like we do when we're hunting monsters. Cass got a picture of the vessel that went missing." Sam spoke.

"Hold on, how did he get a hold of that? And why is he even worried about a demon? He's not working with Crowley again is he? Did he forget what happened the last time with Purgatory?" Dean asked and Sam quickly shook his head.

"No, he's not working with Crowley. The demon overtook the vessel while an angel was using it. I guess the demon won possession somehow." Sam answered and a look of confusion appeared on Dean's face.

"You've got to wonder why the demon did that. That vessel's gonna need a lot of therapy after an angel and a demon possessed him." Dean said.

"That's assuming the vessel is even still alive. Cass wants to know if whatever killed that demon had a reason for not being found. And if we can talk to this person then maybe we can get its help against Metatron." What was said was almost true in a way, but Sam was more concerned about this girl knowing more about helping his brother.

Sam knew that if he told Dean what this hunt was really about, then he'd probably never hear the end of it. He'd rather just get Dean here, have the girl take a look at the mark and tell Dean to reconsider - even if it wasn't as simple as that.

“And if they can’t beat Metatron, or even help find a way for that matter, then what?”

“Dean, let’s just give this person a shot. If she can’t help us out then there’s bound to be something else. We’ll get through it just like we always have.” Sam reassured, but Dean’s ears perked up.

“A ‘she’ huh? So you know what we’re looking for and didn’t say anything?” Dean inquired, clearly frustrated that his brother was withholding some sort of information from him.

Sam rolled his eyes at his brother’s aggravation and he answered, “Yes, she’s a she, and it’s just based off some information that Cass found out for us. It’s the best we can do for the time being so we might as well take this opportunity while we have the chance.”

After a few seconds of silence and after Dean used those few seconds to think, he let out a heavy yet not satisfied sigh since he knew that his brother was probably right and maybe he was looking at this case wrong. He still hoped this wouldn’t be a waste of time.

"Well then, we've got work to do. Lets break out the suits and head over to the station. Maybe some street security cameras will lead us where we need to go."

And with that, the case began

You finished up cleaning up your area from where your last client sat. You had to say, it was oddly therapeutic for you to create some art through tattoos, even if it was whatever these humans wanted. It was a distraction from who you were, and the mark you were burdened with.

"Thank you again for the tattoo, Y/N! I'll see you again soon I'm sure." Said one of your clients before he walked out of the door.

You glanced up at the man who was leaving. He about six feet tall, one arm was covered in a completed sleeve and the other arm was in progress. His hair was like a raven and he had icicle colored eyes.

He was indeed one of your regulars. In fact, you did do most of the work on his arms. But you didn't know why he seemed so insistent on coming back to see you. Of course you knew a part of it was because of the quality, the same reason any other of your clients would return.

However, some of your other appointments in the past have seen him in your little shop and thought he was some sort of interest of yours. Of course with you being a demon and all, you had no interest in this human, romantic or otherwise. You supposed it was one of those humane feelings you lacked, despite angels and demons assuming you had feelings or anything at all.

Once your cleaning was done, you realized that you didn't have any clients at the moment, so it gave you a little time before someone else would come in.

You sat in your chair behind the register and you started to think about what happened yesterday. You thought about the second demon you killed.

You knew some human by the name of Dean Winchester was the other holder of the Mark of Cain outside of you and your father. And if your father seemed to have no interest in killing Abaddon himself, that only meant that Dean was the only one strong enough to kill your mother since you hadn't done so yourself.

You couldn't help but wonder though: what on Earth was Cain thinking by giving a human the mark if he knew the consequences it had on humans? Was the hunter really that desperate for a solution that he had to resort to something that horrible?

You lifted the sleeve of the shirt you were wearing and looked down at your birthmark. You wondered how much more pain it brought to that human if he's so new to having such a thing. You wonder just how vast his oceans of blood was growing. Had he killed his family? His friends? How far was he willing to go, how far has he come since he was given this curse?

And what kind of a fool would even agree to have this thing?

You shook your head and rolled your sleeve down before you took your sketch book and started drawing to come up with some other tattoo designs Incase customers weren’t sure what they wanted or they just wanted to see your artwork before deciding to commit to getting a tattoo.

As you started to sketch your mind went blank for a moment.

Suddenly, you found yourself in a forest full of dead trees. The sky was an ugly grey. You looked around at all of the depressing and pitifully dull surroundings only to find a man standing a few years away. His hair was longer, a salt and pepper beard covering the lower half of his face and a pair of piercing blue eyes that you never thought you would actually see.

“Oh Father of mine. What’s the special occasion? I didn’t intend on actually meeting you for another few centuries.” You asked with the rolling of your own eyes and you put your hands into your pockets.

“He’s coming. The human that you thought made a ‘stupid choice.’ Dean Winchester.” Cain told you, and you tilted your head a little to the left.

“Is that so? And why are you telling me this? As of a few moments ago, everyone was sure you didn’t know I existed. Now what’s with the sudden obligation to help your kin?” You asked.

“I’m not here to help. I’ve always known you had existed. Abaddon must not have realized that I’d be able to sense the mark in another person. Or well, in your case, another demon.” Your father began to explain, “I warned Dean about the cost when I gave him my mark. He was the one that insisted so he could kill your mother. I’ve even told him that one day, he may have to kill me. In fact, I’m in the process of killing my kin, whether they have the mark or not.”

One of your brows arched at the sudden information dump and you continued to listen.

“Anyway, it seems his brother is worried about the effects the mark has on Dean already. I’ve no doubt you’ve already had a couple of visitors wanting to find you.”

“Well, only one. Of course he didn’t make it. But it was that Crowley fellow that sent the poor bastard my way. The only other demon was one that I summoned and that’s how I found out Crowley needed me to find some kind of info on the mark. Apparently he’s never heard of the Book of the Damned to try and look up information himself. Guess he want’s the information to hold over the Winchesters’ heads for whatever reason.” You explained.

“He’s a demon. Of course he’s going to use manipulation like that.” He said.

“Well ouch.” You feigned the offense and your father looked at you, quite unamused.

“Either way, the Winchesters are coming to see you. They may be in your town already. Be on guard. Sam is the one that would rather talk his way out of any situation. But Dean, he’s already killed many. You mustn’t kill Dean, no matter how much you want to because he’s needed for a purpose.” You father said and your brows narrowed.

“Awe, Dad. Do you care for this human? I thought you died and became a demon. Did you get your hands on the good stuff that makes you feel all human again?” You questioned, referring to human blood, and you could tell the man in front of you was getting rather annoyed with your remarks.

“Metatron is a threat to demons and angels alike. You’re a demon, and you don’t think Metatron will come after you? It’s been said that he is the former Scribe of God himself. I don’t care if you have an indifference about the Earth’s situation. But I’m telling you that you should go ahead and help these boys. It doesn’t matter if you succumb to your urges to kill one of them in the end. Dean may end up killing me if you don’t. But for now, until Metatron is killed, it would be in your own best interest to listen to what those two brothers have to say. Dean cannot handle the mark for an eternity like you and I can. Once Metatron is defeated he may need your help getting a hold of himself.”

“For the record,” You interrupted, “Metatron doesn’t even know I exist. The only two demons that had proof i existed are dead. So what if two humans come seeking my help because of this blasted thing you and I are stuck with? Why should I care to help them? If he dies, I hear he has a palpable reputation. A hunter that saved the world, a slayer of angels and demons alike, he would make a good demon himself one day if he goes the path you went on.”

Cain stepped closer to you and he stared at you for a moment as if he were conducting some sort of analysis.

“You shouldn’t care. But even if you are fully demon, you were made with magic. Your father was once human. Your mother used a human vessel to conceive you. You tell yourself you don’t have human attributes. You tell yourself that there is no chance that you would care to do anything other than kill. But even rebellion against your mother, refusing to kill me, those are humane. Even if it’s just a little. And being around humans in your little tattoo shop, you’ve seen what being human is like. One day they’d teach you what it means to care if they haven’t already.” Cain said.

Yes you claim not to care about things like humans. Like that regular client that you work on tattoos for. You don’t care for him, or anyone. You hate that idea of being weak because of the slim chance of humanity slipping in. The smallest bit of you fears humanity. Some of your clients come in and get tattoos covered up because someone they cared about hurt them deeply and they want to replace the memory. Other clients get tattoos in remembrance of the loved ones they’ve lost.

The truth us, you weren’t sure if you really have a trace of humanity in you. But you know that caring for people is a path you don’t want to go on, which is a part of why you couldn’t hate your mark. Killing monsters, and now demons, yes it gives you some kind of pain relief, but killing things remind you that you’re a killing machine. That was what you were meant for if nothing else. You were a full demon and you never had the chance to be human. You didn’t want that chance.

“Cain, the whole point of me going into hiding was to stay out of the mess you and Abaddon had. She made me to kill you. I don’t see a point to that. I would have followed your steps in killing the last Knight of Hell even if she is my birth mother if Dean didn’t end up killing her for me. I don’t care for any of this. The only reason I opened up a shop was to at least make some kind of living. A girl needs a place to stay after all. Apparently I’m not old enough for retirement and get a little patch of land like you did.” You finally spoke again.

Your father looked at you, a gaze that made you wonder if he knew something that you didn’t. The thought was unsettling and you rolled your eyes.

“Fine. Just because Metatron sounds like an asshole that needs to be taken care of. I’ll keep somewhat of an open mind for the Winchesters. Just because one of them was worthy enough to have your mark.” You said.

“Very Well. They should be in your shop to see you in a few minutes. Be prepared.” Cain said.

Once you opened your eyes again you realized that you were back in your tattoo shop with your sketchbook in hand with an image of the gloomy forest you were in. You couldn’t shake that feeling that your father may have known something that you didn’t. But you didn’t want to look to far into it. But you knew that once you gave those boys whatever information they thought you could give them, even if it wouldn’t be that much, then they’d be out of your lives for good and you can go back to your own life.

But that was when you sensed it.

The burning in your arm was different. And it was more intense than what you’ve ever felt before. You knew you didn’t feel it with your father because that was a mere vision but this? This was real. He was coming.

Dean Winchester was there.

You heard the doorbell at the front of your store ring out and when you looked up, you saw two men in professional retire.

“Winchesters. It’s about time the two of you showed up.” You spoke. The two of them looked like they were shocked that you knew who they were and you lifted a brow.

“Really? I’ve had two demons come into my shop, I knew hunters wouldn’t be too far behind. And demons know hunters when they see them. Well, they should if they have any kind of experience.” You said.

Then your gaze landed on the slightly shorter hunter and you knew he just had to be Dean. He had they eyes of a killer and you could see it now. You saw why he was worthy to bare the mark. He had already seen and done so much and you were sure of it.

“You must be Dean.”

The mark on Dean’s arm burned to such an intensity, he knew that there was sort of connection between the two of them. He looked at his brother Sam who was trying to fake the fact that he didn’t know what this girl was talking about. If this was about the Mark of Cain, he knew that he and Sam needed to have a talk. A serious one at that.

“How exactly do you know who we’re are? And who are you supposed to be? And what did you do to those demons?” He asked.

He watched you arch a brow and listened to your exasperated sigh before you rolled up your sleeve and revealed your own mark. His eyes widened when he saw your arm. Then Dean looked up at you with amazement. Did Sam know about this? Was that why Sam was so selective of what information he gave out? Did Castiel know something about this?

“I know who you are because my father told me you were coming. As for those demons, their pathetic little king sent them. Well, one of them. I don’t feel like getting found by anyone, especially the supposed King of Hell, so I killed them.” He heard you confess so casually.

“Y-Your father?” Dean tempered with shock.

“So the rumors are true…” Sam spoke. Of course Sam would know about the rumors, naturally this got under Dean’s skin but now wouldn’t be the time for that particular argument.

“Yes yes, daughter of Cain, Mistress of Murder, whatever the Hell you want to call me. Now what do you two boys want?” You asked and crossed your arms over your chest.

“You need help with the whole Metatron thing, right? So what do you need so we can get this mess over with?”

Thank you!

Thanks for reading! Your support means a great deal and I really hope all of you are enjoying this little fanfiction! Hope you all are well!

𝐓𝐚𝐠 𝐋𝐢𝐬𝐭:

@johannelis2302nely @justtrying2getby-blog @deans-spinster-witch @roseblue373 @alternativeprincess @doctorlexilouwhosblog

[realrichinmyhead]

﹡ ' 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐠𝐨𝐨𝐝 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐜𝐡 ' 𝐬𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐧𝐜𝐞 𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐫𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐬.

( ૮₍´˶• . •🎀₎ა ) : ────────── dialogues taken from maisie peter's album , ‘ the good witch ’ . dialogues range from happy , sad , angry and more . edit and change as you deem necessary . please like and / or reblog if using and consider following !

❛ let's call this the calm before the storm comes rushin' through. ❜

❛ i wish it was two weeks ago. ❜

❛ i'm the greatest love that you wasted. ❜

❛ i need you less than i did. ❜

❛ if he makes you smile, he's blocked. ❜

❛ nobody actually happy and healthy has ever felt so desperate to prove it. ❜

❛ i'm dating but just dating for sport. ❜

❛ i thought it would be us for life. i thought it would be us for life. ❜

❛ and i don't know how i still can't make it make any sense. ❜

❛ if you don't love me, why you'd act it? ❜

❛ i know how your tone works. ❜

❛ i know i'm obsessed. ❜

❛ i know that you did bad, but if one more person says it i might go mad. ❜

❛ in your room that night, i wish i'd known. ❜

❛ it was letting go of everything but you. ❜

❛ the loss is yours. ❜

❛ your face in fluorescent looks different in the daylight. ❜

❛ the worst way to love somebody is to watch them love somebody else and it work out. ❜

❛ he likes a promise if he don't have to keep it. ❜

❛ i made it to september, i can finally breathe. ❜

❛ when you held me tight, wish i hadn't let go. ❜

❛ if you love her, was i just an idea you liked? ❜

❛ if you don't love me, what was april? ❜

❛ i know you remember. ❜

❛ that last kiss, couldn't look at you. but i wish i did. ❜

❛ i still love you, but you're taking me from your arms back to therapy. ❜

❛ now you're living the goddamn dream. ❜

❛ i'm hurting, but i'm certain it's still true: i'm the best thing that almost happened to you. ❜

❛ i know it didn't last, and what was cheap to you, to me was all i had. ❜

❛ he hates a sentence when he has to mean it. ❜

❛ still me here, do you think i forgot about you? ❜

❛ told her i was homesick, i hadn't thought of home twice. ❜

❛ wow, hey, it's been forever. do you wanna get a drink, like together? ❜

❛ the issue is, i know all of this and i still want you back. ❜

❛ you said we're like your mom and dad, knew you loved me babe when you told me that. ❜

❛ i'll smile and you'll have to face it. ❜

❛ i loved you babe, did i tell you that? ❜

❛ and everybody pretends that they're great, but what if you actually might be? ❜

❛ i thought it would be us for life. will you tell me just one more lie?❜

❛ loving you was easy, that's why it hurts now. ❜

❛ she'll have you every summer when i only had you half of the spring. ❜

❛ mister "i don't want a label", you made me little miss unstable. ❜

❛ you'll throw your rocks, and you'll scream that you hate me. ❜

❛ you wanna hear about it all, where do i start? ❜

❛ you've got every single thing you want and i just watch. ❜

❛ i'm not allowed to want you any longer. ❜

❛ he has a girlfriend now. ❜

❛ i couldn't believe it, how you could just stop wanting me? ❜

❛ he was too good to be true. swore a lot of things, none of them new. ❜

❛ you took a road trip into the mountains—i feel like all of my exes have done that. ❜

❛ oh, shit, i won the breakup. ❜

❛ you're kinda awful, but you're not awful on purpose. ❜

❛ and what about my wings? ❜

❛ i've heard some things that i will leave unrepeated. ❜

❛ i beg you and you don't understand. ❜

❛ but i know the girl that you want and it scares me. ❜

❛ it keeps hurting but i keep searching. ❜

❛ was it a love affair or just a lot of late nights? ❜

❛ will you tell me just one more lie? ❜

❛ i know that i should know better, i don't think i want to get better. ❜

❛ still upset but now i'm twenty-two. ❜

❛ so, i don't tell a soul that i'll be yours again tomorrow if you wanted. ❜

❛ i wish i woulda seen it sooner. ❜

❛ but it gets old being forever 20. ❜

❛ i save you a seat, and then you say you wanna stand. ❜

❛ i'm kinda busy, but like, stay in touch? ❜

❛ and you're pretty like a girl 'til you're vicious like a man. ❜

❛ well, fucking sue me 'cause at least then we could talk. ❜

❛ am i better yet? ❜

❛ if you told me what would happen i think i would have begged. ❜

❛ you broke my heart and my self-esteem for a girl who's a remix of me. ❜

❛ don't you know that you're losing this? is that what you want? ❜

❛ why did it take me ages to say it? ❜

❛ i couldn't escape you. ❜

❛ then i can't help thinking that she's got a better body. ❜

❛ that i will try forgiveness but i will not forget. ❜

❛ if i'm not careful, i'll wake up and we'll be married, and i'll still flinch at the sound of a door. ❜

❛ i know this is like the worst drunk message but it's okay. ❜

❛ i still argue like my mother and suppress stuff like my dad. ❜

❛ i still miss you but i know now it'll pass. ❜

❛ were you sorry like you weren't at the time? ❜

❛ if it was a first kiss how come it felt like a snakebite? ❜

❛ i am exhausting and you're not in love. ❜

❛ i'm not gonna wait, now i know better than that. ❜

❛ you have to do it in slow motion! ❜

[sophieinwonderland]

As a traumagenic disordered system who’s done IFS for a bit, at least for us it was a very different kind of thing from our systemhood. It was effectively like if we rewrote Inside Out where there was a Riley in there too who calmed the others down and made the informed decisions. Truly, that’s the best way of describing it.

The best way I can describe it was that it was supposed to distance us (aka our thoughts) from our emotions and see the emotions as separate parts of ourself that need taking care of, since it’s easy to be kinder to someone else than yourself. The parts couldn’t front independently, because at least how we were doing it, they weren’t actually *separate*. They were much closer to a thought exercise or a special kind of guided meditation.

There was one who did actually respond to me though. Her name is Lily and I will never stop apologizing to her that I didn’t realize she wasn’t part of the IFS therapy sooner. She deserved to be treated like a full alter and she wasn’t for so, so long, and I’m very sorry that I didn’t know enough about emotion holders to do better for her back then. But my experience with her cemented the fact that, for us, the real alters and the conceptual parts were very different things.

As a side note: the IFS parts the way we did them made vastly more sense as each alter having these parts, if slightly different versions of them. They weren’t part of the overall headspace, they were direct representations of the emotions that we each individually felt. And that’s what gets down to it, really. They represented individual emotions, the same way I might say that while I need to take a walk my foot needs me to wait until tomorrow so it can heal from yesterday’s sprain. My foot isn’t conscious, and neither were those parts. They were just a way of thinking about our mental processes to help us stop judging ourselves for them. Others might have had it done differently, but for us, we were just separating out parts of ourselves to understand why we do certain things and accept that it’s not a moral failing. The fact that I lumped Lily into that because she’s an emotion holder is my fault, and was decidedly not the purpose of the exercise.

- this started as Miriam but a lot of us ended up triggered in here while writing this so it’s pretty unfocused because we kept swapping around. Sorry about that

Thanks! This is a really detailed write-up and answers a lot of my questions!

I don't really know what to add to this, except to say that I really appreciate you sharing your story with me and helping me understand a bit more! 🩷🩷🩷😁

Seriously though, this is a great addition and was really informative!

[lover-i-lover]

Little Spencer

You know something is wrong when Spencer calls you from a damn payphone. Your first thought is obvious, did he shoot op? And if so, where in all of hell is he. "Can you come get me?" his voice is shaky, with a small hint of desperation "Are you high Spence?" you blurt out, sticking a hand on your hip for stability. "What? no, no I'm not high" you expected him to sound offended, not sad and small. He doesn't ask the question again. "Where are you?" you ask, grabbing your keys off the counter. "Main, down on Ashely, by Reliy's cafe" He gulp's. "I'll come get you, but you better tell me what's going on right know" You demand, slipping on your shoes.

"I, I need you" "What?" You struggle to put your coat on with one arm. He needs you, what does that mean "I, need. I'm feel sm-tired. I just need to be home right now" He stammers. Small, he almost said small. Oh god it's really happening. He's regressing. Just like the therapist suggested he should try to. "Small? Are you feeling small honey?" you ask, trying to hide a smile. "Yes, a little. Will you please come get me?" It's the closest he can get to begging in public without getting some damn sassy side eye. You close the door and slide the key in. "I will, one little thing first. Why are you calling from a payphone and not your cellphone?" You ask, enjoying your own word play. You hurry down the stairs. There's a small noise over the line. A whimper. "It's dead" he admits. "Okay, is the team with you?" You ask, unlocking the car and switching the call to your ear piece and tossing your phone in the glove compartment. "Yes" "I need you to stay with them, i don't want you wandering off and getting hurt. Can you find Morgan?"

"Mogan's not here, he's with Rossi" He says. "Who is there? Who can keep an eye on you until i get there?" You ask, turning out from your housing block. It's a short drive, luckly. Only 6 minutes to get to Ashely down on main. You hope Specer is okay "I don't need a babysitter" He grumbles, most likely crossig his arms. "If you need me to get you, then you might need a babysitter. Now tell me who's there" You demand, turning down the street. "Garcia, and JJ" He says, mostly certainly pouting slightly at this point. "Then go ask Garcia for a hug. Tell her you don't feel well and that I've asked her to keep an eye on you until i get there. Tell her I'm worried sick about you and I'm breaking every traffic law to come get you" You instructs, turning down the last street, only 3 minutes now. There's a giggly excitement in your stomach. Spencer's doing what the therapist told him too, he's finally letting the therapy have effect. "Okay, she's in the store I'm gonna go" Spencer mumbles. "Good, I'll be there in 3 , stay with Pen" You say right before the line cuts out. You heave a sigh of happiness, stepping firmly on the gas.

You park right by the payphone, finding Spencer and Penelope sitting on a bench outside. Spencer's dressed the same way he was yesterday, purple button op with a dark grey vest over it and dark blue jeans. Penelope is of course, fussing over him, asking why he didn't say something sooner. You open your arms for him and he melts into your hold. You give Penelope a thank you, nod before taking Spencer to the car. While you knew he wasn't going to be publicly showing off the fact that he's feeling small, you thougt, or hoped he at least looked a little off. No pun intented. Spencer settles into the passager seat, something you've gotten use to. You squeeze his hand, trying to find some clue to his headspace. He doesn't say a word, only gently squeezing back. You smile, either he's too embarrsed to talk, or he can't. You lean over and buckle him in. "I'm gonna take you home now, okay?" You ask, letting your hand run over his knee for a breif second. "Okay..." he mumbles, voice light and bittle as he lays his folded hands in his lap. "Hey.." you coo, laying a hand over his. "It's okay, tell me what's going on" You ask, letting him pull one hand out from under yours. He curls his hand op his chest. "Are you cold Baby?" You ask. He shakes his head lightly, starting to pout. "What's wrong then?" you coax, powering op the car. Spencer whimpers and you chuckle. "I don't speak whimper code Baby boy" you tease. He whimpers again, wiggling his feet. You glance over, what's he really saying? "What? Baby the only thing i think you might want right now, is to suck your thumb, but i know you don't want that because you find it unsanity" You say, trying not to chuckle. He nods, and you let yourself chuckle as he blushes. "There's baby wipes in the glovebox, clean your fingers, carefully under your nails, then go ahead" You instruct, pulling your hand to yourself. You focus on the road as you hear Spencer open the glovebox and grabbing the packet of wipes. He picks out one and begins to clean his hands. Then he takes another one and cleans under his fingers nails. "Aw, look at you. So smart" You praise, rounding the corner. Spencer puts the wipes back, bitting his lower lip. You catch his look of hesitation. You take a moment to decide if you should press or let him comfort himself about it. "It's okay, no one's gonna see you. It's just you and me" You say, laying a hand on his knee. You hear him whine quietly as he slips his thumb into his mouth. You think it might be a good idea to get a pacifier. It's more satiny, easier to keep clean. And you'd have control of it, you can't take his thumb away, but a pacifier you could. You can force a pacifier into his mouth, his thumb? not so much.

Woah woah woah! you are way too far into undiscussed territory. Dial it back for a second. Pacifiers, undiscussed, no consent given. You're gonna have to ask about that. Forced headspace, undiscussed, no consent given yet. You're gonna have to ask about that too. Any forcing a pacifier or anything into his mouth, not discussed! You finally pull op in front of your appartment block. You glance over to find Spencer half asleep with his thumb firmly in his mouth. You hate to do it, but you reach over and gently take his thumb out from his mouth. He whines a bit but let's you pull it out. "You can continue when we're inside, okay? Because right now, we gotta get you home" You wipe his wet thumb on you shirt and unbuckle his seatbelt. He nods and you get out from the car. He follows you closely op to the appartment, mostly because he can't stray far from you cause you've got an arm around his waist. Which is not something you usualy do, but, you wanted to. You get into the appartment and the second the door is closed, Spencer's sucking his thumb again. You focus, very hard to not chuckle. Because that's wildly insensitive. But maybe that pacifier is a good idea. You brush a hand over his hair. "You doing okay there baby?" You ask sweetly, as you guide him to the couch. He nods and you pet his back gently. He lays down on the couch without much proment, his eyes only half open. It's strange sight, Dr. Spencer Reid laying on your shared couch while sucking his thumb.

For one, you never dreamed you would share a home. Never dreamed you'd get Spencer into therapy. Never dreamed of this. You lay a blanket over him, leaning down to kiss his forehead. "Hey, you okay there baby boy?" You knell down in front of him. He's not really reacting to you, so you stoke hos cheek. He leans into your touch. Maybe you should get him into some more comfortble clothes. He shakes his head a bit. "Should i get you into some comfy clothes? Would that help?" You ask, continuing to stoke his cheek. He nods slightly, slipping his thumb out from his mouth. You want to tell him to keep it in his mouth, but you don't wanna push. He wipes his thumb dry on his shirt. "Yeah? okay. What do you say to.......sweats and a hoodie?" You ask, moving your hand to stoke his hair instead. His eyes are still only half open as he shakes his head. "No, okay. What about sweats and a sweatshirt?" You coo, hoping you've struck right with the clothes. He nods, and looks down to his thumb. You smile. "I'll get that for you baby, you just relax and suck your thumb if you want" You encourage. He slips it back in his mouth and wiggles a bit to settle comfortable on the couch. You smile even wider and hurry off to find the promised clothes. Oh, he's relaxing, and he's actually letting you take care of him. This is good. Really good. You find dark grey sweatpants, a black tanktop, and a light grey sweatshirt.

You find Spencer asleep, so you rouse him a bit before helping him sit op. He's still sucking his thumb as you pull the vest off him. It makes it a bit more difficult, but you don't mind. The soft cotton of the vest is a bit worn out and thin in some places. He's wearing it to death. You pull his shirt op from his pants and get to work unbuttoning it. You hear the pop of Spencer pulling his thumb from his mouth. "Mama?" He mutters. "Yeah baby?" You manage to get out in a reasonably coherent voice, or so you hope. Mama. Oh god, you were not expecting that. In any way. This morning he didn't even wanna talk about anything relating to therapy. Now he's calling you Mama. You slide the shirt off his shoulders and down off his arms. "I'm thirsty" he confesses. "Okay" You almost choke. Thirsty. He's thirsty. "I'll get you drink in a minute, what do you want sweetie?" You ask, picking op the tank top and he raises his arms and helps you along with getting it on. You slip the sweatshirt over his head. He shrugs, he's never been good at remreber what's in the fridge. You almost say coffee, but that doesn't feel right. "Apple juice?" You suggest, unbuttoning his pants. He blushes and pulls your hands away. This throws you for a loop. He's okay with you taking your shirt off, but not his pants. You hold out the pants, raising an eyebrow. "Do you wanna you try do it yourself Baby?" You ask, wondering just why it's okay to see him without a shirt, but not okay to see him his boxers. It's not like it'd be the first time.

He takes them from you, nodding. "Okay, you can absolutely do it yourself. Did you want some apple juice?" You ask again, chancing the topic to drinks. He nods and you head to the kitchen. Both to get him that damn juice, and to let yourself have a mini break down. You draw in a deep breath, bracing yourself on the kitchen counter. Juice. Apple juice. You find an old plastic cup you used when you'd broken your wrist and weren't trusted with actual glass glasses. You listen for any rustling. Has he finished changing yet? You draw in another deep breath. Okay, give Spence some juice, then what? What do you do then? it's midday, it's not even close to dinner time. Is it just cuddle time with some Tv? Would that take him out of the headspace? Or would it help? Okay, breathe. Breathe. Give your baby the juice, and let him deicde what he wants to do. You go back to the living room. Surprised that Spencer's not there. "Spence? Baby boo?" You call, setting the juice down on the coffee table. You hear a giggle from under the couch. Oh my. "Oh no!" You cry. "Where's my baby?" You bend down and pick op his clothes and start to fold them. "Oh no, I've lost my little Spencer where could he be?" You lay his folded vest down on the couch. Spencer's clearly hiddning under there, but maybe it's fun. It's gotta be fun. You lay a folded shirt aside, then his folded op jeans. You huff, hands on your hips. "Oh my, where's Mama's baby?" You falsely cry out. Then, Spencer sticks his head out from under the couch, smiling. "Here Mama!" "Oh my, there you are, you scared me" You lean down and pinch his cheek gently. You want to pick him op. But you're not sure you can, or that you'd be allowed to. He looks os cute, so sweet. You reach down and decide to try. If you fail, it'll be a fun mistake.

Spence giggles and laches onto your neck. You get an arm op under his legs, and he wiggles his feet. You smile to yourself, you can total carry him. Even if it's the last thing you do. You lift him op and dump him on the couch. He laughs as he bounces on the couch and your heart melts. You hand him the juice and he grabs it. You settle next to Spencer, watching closely as he finishes the drink in seconds. "Thank you" He sets the empty glass aside. "Your welcome baby" You say. He doesn't say anything for a few minutes, and you just wait. Hoping he'd eventually talk. When you realize he won't, you really wish there was someone there to help you with this. "Do you wanna watch some Tv?" You ask, in a hopefully tone. Spencer begins to pout and shakes his head. "What do you wanna do Baby?" You ask, trying desperately to make him feel happy again. You just want him to feel safe. Spencer shrugs, and quite frankly, you panic. You want to be a good caregiver for him, a good Mama but you've got no clue what you're doing right now. "D-Do you wanna play?" You ask, shifting closer and laying an arm around his shoulders. He pouts properly, violently shaking his head. "Okay, I'm kinda lost here Baby boy, what do you want?" You ask again, gently tugging on him. He turns to you, pouting and almost in tears. Oh no, no no no. No tears. He climbs ono your lap and wraps his arms around your neck. "Hi, hi Baby" You try to not franticly rub his back and give yourself away but you kinda fail. "You're okay Baby" You coax, letting him wrap his legs around you. Spencer rests his head on in the crook of your neck. Is he tired? is that it? "Are you sleepy?" You ask, shifting him slightly.

He nods, and you sigh in relief, petting his back soothingly. "Okay" you say, trying to keep yourself from asking a million questions. Does he want to sleep in your lap? Does he want to lay in bed? Does he need you to cuddle him to sleep? Does he need to lay down on the couch? You're about half way through every posble question when you hear Spencer snorring on your shoulder. Oh, oh. Sleep. He's sleeping. You grab his phone, okay power nap. How long is a normal power nap. What did Spencer say? 10 to 20 minutes, right? Okay, um, 20 minutes. You set a timer. What can do in 20 minutes? Better yet, what can you do with a sleeping Spencer in your lap? You can't do much with a sleeping baby in your lap. Wil the alram wake you too? Yeah, yeah it wil. You close your eyes, you deseve a nap too. You close your eyes.

You wake to a slight tugging, there's no alram blarring. Did you sleep through it? "Mama?" It's Spencer. You blink a few times, trying to open your eyes. "Yeah?" You anwser, shifting and feeling the heavy weigt on you. He leans into your neck, snuggling close the way a cat would. You wrap your arms around him. "Wake op Mama" "I'm awake" You say, pulling his face from your neck and kissing him. "I'm awake Baby" You repeat, squzzing him. He squeals. "Did you have a good nap?" You ask, setting your feet firmly on the floor. He nods, smiling wildly. "Good, good. You hungry?" You get to your feet with Spencer in your arms. "Mama!" He squeals, wrappinng his legs irmly around you. "Mhmm, you hugry Baby?" you ask again, ignoing his squealing. "Ah, mhmm" he half bites into his lower lip. "Yeah, that makes sense it's almost dinner time. And i know exactly what do to make" You say, and you mean it. "I don't get a say?" Spencer half whines, wiggling n your hold. "No, a baby shouldn't have to worry about food. Mama's got it" You coo, setting him down on the kitchen island. Something about his eyes seem different. Maybe it's just the warm kitchen light but you swear his eyes seem more dark. Like you're said something you weren't suppose to. Or that you've said something you should have said hours ago. Which remains unknown as you grab the bag that's been waiting in the fridge since your last therapy appointment. Well, bags. There are 4 in the fridge. Chicken nuggets, fries, and a small mix of veggies. The whole thing can fit in your biggest pan. Oh shoot, what are you gonna eat? Mhmmm.

Oh, make Spencer food, get him to eat while you make yourself something. Yeah, that makes. You pour some oil on the pan, then carefully place the food in different spaces on the pan. Knowing that Spencer's not a fan off food all mixed op. "Mommy?" Comes a small, brittle, voice. You turn in under a second. He's still sitting on the island, pouting slightly. "Yeah?" You answer, nodding. Okay, don't freak out. First Mama, now Mommy. Does that mean something? Don't regressors typically stick to one honorific? Is he just trying it out? Oh god calm down, don't let him see you freak out. He reaches out for you with both arms. You giggle a bit. "Okay" You say, leaving the pan for a moment to hoist him op on your hip. it's not easy to hold him with one arm, but you manage. You need to train your arms, you want to be able to hold him like this without issue. He snuggles into your neck. "Better?" You ask. "Mhmm"

So you have dinner, but you spend every second worrying he's gonna hurt himself with the fork. You decide you need child utensils, and a child plate. Oh god, you need a list. Garcia will help, right? she loves to shop. You will need to explain, and that's if Spencer's okay with you talking to her about it. "Mommy?" he asks from you chest. You've settled on the couch with him atop you. "Yeah?" You answer again, brushing a hand over his hair. "Can i....mhmm" he looks down to his hands. Seeming embarrassed again. You giggle lightly and reach for the pack of wet wipes you brought in from the car earlier. "Give me your hand" He does, like a good boy. This time, you clean his hand for him. Turning the wipe over, you carefully clean under the nail. You bend his thumb and stick it in his mouth. "There you go. I need to get you a pacifier, don't i?" You ask, hoping to coax an answer from him. He immediately starts to suck his thumb, blushing a bit. He doesn't answer, and so you bring a hand down and tap his back lightly. "Baby, how do you feel about a pacifier? I'm serious" He burries his face down in your chest. "Baby, I'm serious. Answer me please" You say. Spencer lays his head sideways, thumb tucked firmly in his mouth. You're first instinct is to threaten to take away the thumb sucking. But, you catch yourself, this is for him, not you. "Is it hard to talk?" You ask, rubbing his back. He nods, glancing op at you for a brief moment. "Okay, Pacifier. No?" You ask, he doesn't react. "Pacifier, Yes?" You ask, letting out a breath as he nods. You run a hand over his hair. "Okay, can you hand Mommy that paper pad and that pen?"

You take it from him and lay it on Spencer's shoulder to be able to write. "I'm gonna write some things down, and i need you to cross them out if you're not okay with it. Can you do that Sweetie?" You coax gently. You see him nod from the corner of your eye and you can't help but smile. After a bit more scribbling you hand the pen and paper to Spencer. You coo over him as he reads it. But when he hunches over the list you back off a bit, petting his back instead. it takes him a few minutes, which is how you know he's really thinking about it. He hands it back to you.

Pacifiers

Teethers

Kid plates and utensils

Bottles

onesies

Toys

Colouring books

Talking with Garcia about your regesstion

Talking to Morgan about your regression

Talking with Emliy about your regression

You smile and lay the papper aside. "Baby, you know if Garcia knows, they others might end op knowing at some point? Are you okay with that?" You ask. Spencer nods. "Okay" You say, brushing a hand over his hair again. Spence shifts to lay on top of you, and snuggles close to your chest. You feel like a puddle under him. This is the best day you've had in a while. It doesn't take long for Spence to fall asleep again. This must be tiring for him. You grab your phone off the coffee table. As you flip open your cover your phones lights op with a million different texts from the team. You're happy know the team cares so much. You stoke his hair and neck as he snores. You go on the round of responses, when you get to Garcia. You decide you need a phone call with your girl. She picks op on the first ring.

"Wonder woman at your servise" Penelope says over the line. "Hey Pen, I just wanted to let you know Reid's alright" You say, continuing to pet Spencer's hair. Spencer does this cute little meow kinda noise. "Aww, is that the mini genius?" She gasps. "Yeah. Um, listen. On the topic of mini genius" You drawl. "Oh god, tell me he's not leaving. I'm begging you" She pleads. "No, no" You say, continue to pet his hair. "He's not leaving, but there's something i want you to know. But you can not tell the others yet" You say quietly but firmly. "Oh my goodness, of course please spill Girl" She happily chimes. "It's not really that kinda tea but, have you ever heard of age regression?"

"Umm, yeah I've more then heard of it"

"Well, Spencer is a little. And i need some help with shopping for little things, it's online but I'd like your help, if you comfortable" You blurt out, hoping that if you got it out fast, then the rejection would be easier to handle. "Oh Mama you are on. Any ideas?" "I'll send you a list of things I'm looking for" You smile. And that's how you two weeks later end op with a 'care packet' from Garcia. A box of two pacifiers, a teether, a blue set of child plates and utensils, a light purple kid's sport water bottle with a bite valve, and the thing Spencer grabbed from the box the second he saw it. A white polar bear stuffie. You sent Penelope a handwritten thank you note.