#their friends and that /really/ hurt the accused

[aquaticmercy]

Waste a Moment / Part 16

Summary : Bucky had always kept his distance, but seeing you get hurt on a mission changed everything. For the first time, he has a chance to start over with you.

Pairing : Bucky Barnes x avenger!reader (she/her) 

Warnings/tags : Mentions of food. Cursing. Memory loss. Head injury. Reader used to work in a museum.

Requested by :  @remoony

Word count : 4.5k

Note : Only two chapters after this!! Honestly these last three chapter will be like an extended epilogue. Small flashbacks are indented! Please let me know if I miss anyone on the tags! Enjoy!

Series Masterlist

"Take Your Shape"

Rebuilding with Yelena had been almost as difficult as rebuilding with Bucky—but for entirely different reasons. With Bucky, the wounds revolved around love. Despite everything, at least he was familiar— at least he still felt like home. 

With Yelena, the fracture was messier, harder to untangle. She was a friend, sure, but she wasn’t nearly as close to you now as she’d been before the memory loss. Everyone kept insisting you two were like sisters, and it drove you mad—not knowing what that actually felt like.

You’d seen glimpses of it, in the video Happy showed you. You saw the two of you laughing, hanging out at the compound, but it wasn't the same. Watching those moments felt like peering into someone else’s life, someone else’s memories with no idea how you got here.

How had you gotten so close, and yet so… distant?

The pang of betrayal still swirled in your chest; she hadn’t warned you, hadn’t given you the truth when you needed it, even after knowing how much it would shatter you. You had craved human connection in the hospital room— maybe that's why you let her stay. But now, with all that anger simmering beneath the surface, you needed much more time to process this alone, and as it turned out, it took much longer than you had expected.

For the next couple of days, you couldn’t get past the fact that the woman who had allegedly been like a sister to you had chosen to keep you unaware of the mountain of lies your boyfriend had built.

Friday.

The first step came one evening, when she showed up at your apartment unannounced. She was standing there, hands shoved into her pockets. A fire of emotion swirled within you— Sadness. Resentment. Hope. 

But above all, you found yourself missing her.

“Can we talk?” she asked, her voice quieter than usual.

You hesitated for a moment before stepping aside to let her in. Back in the hospital, when the truth had first come out, you hadn’t had the energy to argue. But here, in the privacy of your apartment, you did. What followed was a long conversation full of starts and stops, accusations and justifications.

“It wasn’t my decision to make,” Yelena said at one point, frustrated. You couldn’t tell if it was aimed at herself or at the situation.

Her words weren't an instant fix, but they planted a seed. Over the next few days, there were more conversations over training. You didn’t hold back your feelings, and to her credit, Yelena didn’t shut down, she didn’t deflect. She didn’t change the topic like she used to. Slowly, you began to see her choices not as malicious but as a misguided form of love manifesting from someone who had gone through so much. It’s poetic, really— how she was a platonic mirror of Bucky.

In the end, she just held back because she didn’t want to be the reason you were hurt. 

And now, knowing all you knew, you couldn’t hold it against her—just as you couldn’t hold a permanent grudge against Bucky. 

Friday, the next week.

The real turning point came when you introduced her to Alex. It hadn’t been part of any grand plan, just a chance encounter. 

You’d been out for coffee with Alex— catching up after the museum closed— when you spotted Yelena heading toward you on the street. There was a flicker of hesitation—a moment when you weren’t sure whether she’d stop or walk on by. But Alex, ever vigilant, recognised her from the photos you showed her and sensed your tension. So Alex, ever the diplomat, had stepped in with a warm smile, bridging the gap before it could grow too wide.

“Why don’t you join us?” Alex had offered.

Yelena hesitated, glancing at you, “I guess I could spare a minute,” she nodded.

A minute stretched into an hour. 

At first, Yelena sat stiffly, her words overly careful. But Alex had a way of breaking down walls without anyone realizing it was happening. She leaned into Yelena’s stories, genuinely interested. Alex laughed in all the right places, continued to moderate the conversation just when you thought it was ending.

Both you and Yelena began sharing training mishaps, laughing like old times again. In return, Alex shared stories of things that happened in the museum after you left, like the time she accidentally dropped a fossilized dinosaur tooth during a museum tour and had to convince the students it was a fake (she had broken it, of course).

After a while, you found yourself sitting back, sipping your coffee, watching them as though you were an outsider. There was something so gratifying about seeing Yelena, usually so guarded, taking a liking to a civilian friend of yours.

Later, as you and Alex walked back, she turned to face you.

“I can see why you keep Yelena around, after everything,” Alex said, “Though she’s a little... intense.”

“She’s the kind that grows on you,” you replied. For the first time in a while, you felt a sisterly warmth grow in your heart for the Russian.

This must be how it felt like the first time— when you joined the avengers and got close to her.

Alex nudged your shoulder playfully. “I like her.”

Thursday, the next week.

Much to your surprise, Yelena and Alex only grew closer from then on. 

Their friendship seemed effortless, almost as though they’d known each other for years. It reminded you of why you’d been drawn to Yelena in the first place: it was her wit, her stubborn charm that kept you both on edge.

Seeing Alex bring out that side of her so easily felt like watching two puzzle pieces click into place.

The weekly lunches at the diner soon became a ritual. The first time, Yelena had scrutinized the laminated menu with a dramatic sigh before declaring, “This place better not kill me.” Predictably, she’d found something to complain about. “The eggs are overcooked, the toast is cold, and the coffee tastes like dishwater.” She’d said it with such exaggerated disdain (in a thick Russian accent) that even Alex had giggled.

“I think it's charming” Alex had replied, which earned her one of Yelena’s rare, unguarded smiles.

After that, every Thursday, like clockwork, the three of you crammed into the same corner booth, under the same faded mural of a desert highway. Over time, those lunches became a refuge from whatever was going on that week— whether it was a mission gone wrong or some exhibition that needed long hours to set up. These days were always filled with teasing banter, long-winded stories, and the occasional vulnerable heart-to-heart conversation.

Slowly but surely, you could feel the cracks between you and Yelena mending, the tension that had once boiled over dissipating like sea foam. Forgiveness, you realised, wasn’t a singular event, but a collection of moments— of these moments.

Thursday, the next week. 

One Thursday, as the three of you stayed long after the plates had been cleared, Yelena leaned back in her seat, one arm draped over the backrest, suspiciously close to Alex’s shoulders. “You know,” she said, twirling her coffee spoon, “if I’d known Alex was this entertaining, I would’ve stolen her from you a long time ago.”

Alex tilted her head to look at her playfully. “I don’t think you could handle me full-time.”

Yelena raised an eyebrow. “You’re probably right.”

You rolled your eyes, a laugh slipping out.

That day, before going your separate ways, Yelena raised her coffee cup. “Here’s to second chances.”

You hesitated, a flicker of pride behind your eyes, before lifting your own cup. “To second chances,” you echoed, the clink of ceramic against ceramic feeling like a momentous occasion.

Thursday, two months later.

The chatter of the diner hummed around the three of you, a comforting backdrop of clinking plates, shuffling waitstaff, and the faint melody of Motown playing through the speakers

The tension that had once defined your interactions with Yelena, born from everything that had happened with Bucky, now seemed faded. In a way, it had been completely repaired by these weekly lunches.

Across the table, Alex was mid-story, her fork waving through the air as she recounted her new kitten’s latest reign of terror.

“And then she destroyed the blinds,” Alex said with a dramatic flourish she used in museum tours.

Yelena chuckled, her chin propped on her hand as she watched Alex with a mix of amusement and intrigue. Maybe even affection.

But sure enough, the lull in Alex’s story gave her the opening she needed. She turned to face you, tilting her head.

“So,” Yelena began, “what’s going on with you and Bucky?”

The shift in conversation was sudden, but you weren’t surprised. Yelena was nothing if not direct, and she had a way to steer the conversation in whichever way she pleased.

Alex’s eyebrows shot up, her fork freezing mid-air, curious. “Oh, good question,” she said eagerly. “You haven’t really talked about him much lately. Are you two… okay?” 

You hesitated, your fingers absently picking at the corner of your napkin as you considered how you should answer. “We’re… figuring it out,” you said finally. 

Yelena raised an eyebrow, unimpressed. “That’s vague,” she said, skeptical. “Try again.”

Surprising even yourself, you laughed, setting the napkin aside as you leaned back in your seat. “It’s just… complicated,” you insisted, a small smile tugging at the corners of your lips. 

“Now that’s more interesting,” Yelena smiled softly. “Go on.”

Alex leaned in too, her elbows on the table. “Start from the beginning,” she said, grinning. 

You sighed, but there was no malice in it. “Fine,” you relented as your thoughts drifted to the past few months. 

“I told you about the dinner, right? The day I came home?”— they both nodded— “Well, the next day, he asked if he could come over for coffee. I almost said no—But… I agreed.”

Yelena made a soft, approving sound, “And?”

“And,” you continued, smiling faintly, “he showed up with two cups from that little café down my street. You know, the one with the crawling plants? We sat across the kitchen table, and it was like we were strangers on a first date. It was… weird, but not bad. We just talked. About music, about books, about how he wanted to start swimming more. It felt…” You trailed off, searching for the right word.

“Normal?” Alex offered, her tone gentle.

“Yeah,” you nodded. “Normal.”

The knock at the door was soft, almost hesitant, like Bucky was giving you time to change your mind, to pretend you weren’t home anymore. For a moment, you just stared at the door.  You needed this. No, you wanted this.  You wanted him.  When you opened the door, you saw Bucky leaning on his heels with two coffee cups in his hands, looking uncharacteristically sheepish. His hair was tied back, and his leather jacket looked just a little too warm for the season. “Hey,” he said, offering a small, nervous smile as he held up the cups like a peace offering. “I, uh, I know you ran out of ground coffee at home so I got your favorite. Unless you don’t want your favourite. In which case—” “I want it,” you interrupted, an exhausted smile on your face, “Thank you, Bucky.” His shoulders relaxed a fraction. “Good. That’s good.” You stepped aside to let him in, closing the door behind him. The air felt heavier inside, the awkwardness wrapping around you both like a scarf wrapped too tightly around your neck. Bucky followed you into the kitchen, setting the cups down on the table and pulling out a chair before glancing at yo. You sat down, gesturing for him to do the same. He slid into the chair across from you, his metal fingers tapping lightly on the edges of the table. For a moment, it was painfully quiet, the silence stretching long enough for the faint hum of the fridge to fill the room. You stared at the coffee cups, fiddling with the coasters. “Thank you,” he started, running a hand over his face. “For giving me a second chance.” You sipped your coffee, watching him over the rim of the cup. He was trying. You could see it in the way his fingers fidgeted, the way his eyes flickered up to meet yours and then darted away again— he was bracing for rejection. “You did ask nicely,” you said finally with a teasing chuckle, as if saying ‘you’re okay. You’re not crossing a line.’ The tension wasn’t gone, but you both had eased it last night.  He winced, unsure of what to make of your dry humour. “You brought coffee.” you offered a shy smile. “That’s something,” A small smile tugged at the corner of his mouth. “Baby steps,” he said softly. As you settled back into your chair, the conversation began to flow. It was hesitant at first, but soon enough, you were talking about music, about the book you started reading when he left last night, about how he was thinking of taking up swimming again because, "it might be nice to feel weightless for a bit.” It felt… strange, but also familiar. It was the kind of moment you didn’t realize you needed until it was happening. And even all the awkwardness and the lingering edges of frustration, it felt normal. As you finished your coffee, you caught him glancing at you, the tiniest hint of a smile still playing on his lips. “What?” you asked, raising an eyebrow. “Nothing,” he said quickly, shaking his head. “Just… thanks for letting me come over.”

Yelena leaned back. “So, he’s trying to win you back with caffeine and small talk?”

Your laugh came easier this time, the tension in your chest easing. “Something like that.”

Encouraged by their attention, you went on.

“There are still nights when he texts me late, confessing that he’s been pacing for hours, anxious about me— about us. At first, it scared me. I didn’t know how to help, didn’t know if I even could. But now…” You paused, gathering your thoughts. “Now I call him. I stay on the line. I let him talk, let him share pieces of himself he wouldn’t've told me otherwise. It’s hard to hear sometimes but it feels important. Like he’s finally trusting me.”

“And do you talk to him about… your stuff too?” Alex asked. 

You nodded, the memory of those late-night conversations blooming a warmth in your chest. “For the first time in a long time, I feel like I can. Vulnerability isn’t just a one-way street, and we’ve….we’re both still learning.”

One night, you were jolted awake by a string of text notifications. You checked— it was all from Bucky. I can’t sleep. Been pacing for hours.  Thinking too much. About you. About us. You’d stared at the screen, unsure what to say or do. With a deep breath, you decided to call him.  The phone rang once, then twice, before he picked up. His voice was rough, like he hadn’t used it in hours. “Hey.” “Hi,” you’d say softly, leaning back against your pillow. “Anxious again?” A small, self-deprecating chuckle would follow. “Yeah. Sorry. Did I wake you?” You lied. “No.” Then you let him talk. At first, it was fragmented—confessions spilling out in pieces. He’d talk about the nightmares, the way he sometimes felt like he didn’t deserve to be loved. “It’s like…” he’d say one night, voice cracking just enough to make your chest ache, “I keep waiting for the day you’re gonna wake up and realise I’m not worth it. That this—” a pause, a sharp inhale “—that I’m too much.” Your heart broke, but you didn’t interrupt. You’d learned not to. Instead, you stayed on the line, letting him speak until the silence between his words grew longer, like the storm in his head was finally passing. “Bucky,” you said when the quiet stretched too long. “I’m not going anywhere. You know that, right? I gave you a second chance because you’re worth it.” His voice, when it came, was barely above a whisper. “I’m trying to believe that.” And slowly, he was. Somewhere along the way, you started sharing your struggles too.  One night, you admitted, “I still feel guilty for not being able to remember. I— I feel like I’m never going to live up to the expectations that people have of me. Like I’m never going to be enough ever again.” Bucky had gone quiet, and for a moment you worried that you’d said too much. But then his voice came through, “You’re more than enough. I don’t know I’ve told you that recently, but you are.” That night, you cried after hanging up—not from sadness, but from the overwhelming joy of being heard. Your relationship wasn’t perfect. You both still stumbled, still had moments where the walls crept back up. But those late-night calls had become a lifeline, a place where both of you could be messy and imperfect and still… safe.

Alex’s eyes were thoughtful, Yelena’s lips pressing into a contemplative line.

You cleared your throat, “But it’s not all heavy, I promise. We’ve been going on more dates again— like walking through the city or grabbing dinner at places we used to love. He’s even started leaving little notes around my apartment. Cute stuff, like reminding me to take care of myself when he’s not there.”

This time around, dating Bucky was like rediscovering a book you used to love—familiar, comforting, but still filled with moments that could surprise you. The casual dates were your favourite. As you walked down the streets together, the bustling noise always felt muted. He always made a show of remembering little things—pointing out the bookstore where you’d once spent hours, or stopping by a food truck where you’d apparently eaten a ridiculous number of tacos one summer. You didn’t remember, of course, but you trusted him.  Dinner dates were no less charming. Bucky had a knack for choosing the right place—not too fancy, just enough character. “You deserve something better than just takeout,” he’d said once. You could see the effort in every small gesture: how he’d pick up your favourite dessert on the way back home, or how he made sure you had no training drills the next morning when he planned a late night. And then there were the notes. It came after the first month, when you gave him the spare key to your apartment again. The first one caught you off guard, a scribbled “Hey, don’t forget to eat lunch today” stuck to the fridge. You’d smiled, shaking your head, and tucked it into a drawer. But they kept coming. Little scraps of paper, each one carrying a piece of him—gentle reminders, sweet compliments, even terrible doodles that made you laugh until your sides hurt. One morning, after a particularly late mission, you’d found one stuck to your door: “Proud of you. Rest—you earned it.”

Yelena’s brow arched, intrigued.

“One morning,” you continued, the smile on your face growing, “I forgot my jacket, and he showed up at the training ground with it. Didn’t say much, just handed it over. He bought like four of my favourite chocolate bars and stuffed them in my pocket.”

It had been a long, cold morning at the training ground. You’d left in a rush, forgetting your coat. You mentioned it to Bucky when you ran into him in the kitchen that morning, beating yourself up mentally for being forgetful— a particularly touchy subject for you. It was just your luck that Clint had prepared to do outdoor training. You spent the first hour of drills shivering in the cold. You weren’t expecting him to show up—Bucky had been busy with his own schedule—but there he was, standing by the edge of the field with your jacket draped over his arm. He didn’t say much, just walked over, handed it to you, and nodded. But when you slipped it on, your hands brushed against something bulky in the pockets. Curious, you reached in and pulled out not one, but four of your favourite chocolate bars, the wrappers crinkling as you stared at him. “Thought you might need a pick-me-up,” he said casually, knowing how much forgetting had upset you. “Bucky…” you began, but he just shrugged, stuffing his hands into his pockets, as if to downplay the gesture. “Don't make a big deal out of it,” he muttered, though the corner of his mouth twitched in a small smile. But it was a big deal. Not because of the chocolates, not even the jacket, but because of the way you realised he truly cared. That night, when you found another note tucked into the chest pocket—“you’re enough, even when you forget”— you couldn’t stop smiling.

“That’s sweet,” Alex let out a small chuckle. “He’s really trying, isn’t he?”

“So am I,” you nodded, though your voice was quieter now.

Yelena hummed, finally breaking her silence. “Sounds like progress,” she said in approval, “Though I’m still surprised you haven’t kissed him yet,” Yelena remarked, leaning back in the booth, arms crossed like she owned the place.

“We’re taking our time,” you rolled your eyes. “I don’t want to rush into something just because it’s familiar.”

Yelena hummed, playfully scrutinizing. “Must be hard,” she said, her voice wrapped with faux sympathy. “Especially because he follows you around the compound with those big, stupid puppy dog eyes.”

Alex, who’d been happily munching on her toast, choked on a laugh. “Really?”

You scoffed, but your cheeks warmed ever so slightly. “We’re still rebuilding,” you replied, brushing off the teasing, pretending it didn’t hit closer to home than you wanted to admit.

Yelena’s eyebrows softened at your words, her sharp wit momentarily dulled by concern.“Speaking of your little ‘rebuilding phase’... let’s talk about this mission you’re going on with him tomorrow.”

Alex perked up immediately. “Mission? Oh, is this classified?” she teased, holding up her hands like she’d been caught eavesdropping. “Should I, like, cover my ears or something?”

“Relax, Alex,” you laughed, shaking your head. “Just a standard recon mission. Nothing exciting.”

Yelena stirred her coffee as if it had committed a crime. “What was Sam thinking? Pairing you two up now of all times? While you’re still… patching things up. He should’ve sent you with Torres instead. That guy’s boring enough—gets the job done, no drama.”

“Torres isn’t boring,” you protested, half-defensive, half-amused, knowing Sam would smack her upside in the head for talking about his friend that way. “He’s just… new, still a little shy. Give him a break.”

“Whatever,” Yelena waved her spoon dismissively. “He’d still be less of a potential disaster than you and Bucky.”

“We’re not a ‘disaster,’ Yelena,” you leaned forward, narrowing your eyes at her. “Besides, I think this mission is going to be good for us. Working together again… it’s what we need, it’s like testing a boundary together, y’know?”

Yelena raised an eyebrow but didn’t argue further, though you could tell from her expression she wasn’t entirely convinced.

But you didn’t need her to be. You were genuinely excited for this mission. It wasn’t just a test of trust—it was a step forward, a small chance to rediscover yourselves together. 

“Fine.” Yelena sighed, finally relenting. “But if you two screw it up, I reserve the right to say ‘I told you so.’”

Alex shook her head at this mission talk. She wasn’t in this world, but she appreciated it. In time, she might even grow to understand it. But for now, she raised her coffee cup with a grin. “Here’s to testing boundaries!”

You clinked your cup against hers with a small laugh, stealing a glance at Yelena, whose smile had now returned. 

“To testing boundaries,” you said, more to yourself than anyone else.

The bell above the diner’s door chimed as Bucky stepped inside. You spotted him immediately, his broad shoulders framed by the doorway, his hair slightly tousled from the wind outside.

“Speak of the devil,” Yelena muttered under her breath, sipping her coffee. She had not even bothered lowering her voice.

Alex, ever the peacemaker, nudged Yelena with her elbow. “Play nice,” she whispered. Then, she turned toward Bucky with an exaggerated wave. “Hi, Bucky!”

You rolled your eyes at Alex’s enthusiasm, but you couldn’t help smiling as Bucky made his way over. 

“Hey,” he greeted the table, his voice low and warm, his eyes affectionately landing on you.

“Hey you,” you greeted softly.

Yelena leaned back in her seat, arms crossed. “Tin Man finally decided to grace us with his presence.”

Bucky smiled faintly, the corner of his mouth quirking up as he slid his hands out of his jacket pockets. “Nice to see you too, Yelena,” he replied evenly, his tone carrying just the right amount of dry humour.

Alex, clearly enjoying herself, leaned forward. “You know, for people who fought about what’s best for her for months, you two are surprisingly civil.”

Bucky gave Alex a polite smile, while Yelena groaned and gestured playfully. “Oh, please. I was always civil. He’s the one who—”

“Not here,” you cut in quickly, “We’re not doing this here.”

Yelena held up her hands in surrender. 

“Alright, alright. I’ll behave, besides,” she said with a knowing shrug, “I think Bucky’s here to steal you away from us.”

At that, Bucky finally looked into your eyes. “If that’s alright,” he said, his voice quiet but hopeful.

Before you could respond, Yelena waved her hand dismissively. “Fine. Borrow her. But bring her back in one piece, Barnes.”

You stood, smoothing the front of your shirt, trying to ignore the warmth spreading across your chest as you slid out of the booth. “I’ll see both of you soon,” you said.

After waving a goodbye, Bucky held the door open for you, the chill of the wind pricking on your skin. 

He glanced at you hesitantly, like he wasn’t quite sure what to do next.

“Hot chocolate?” You asked.

“Hot chocolate,” he confirmed, holding out a hand. It was a simple gesture, but something about it felt significant. His flesh hand—not the metal one—hovered in the space between you, waiting patiently. For a moment, you caught the faintest hint of uncertainty in his eyes.

Then you reached for him.

His hand was warm, his palm slightly rough against yours. When your fingers intertwined, it felt… solid. Right. Like the two of you were anchoring each other in the moment. His thumb brushed over the back of your hand. It wasn’t the first time you’d held hands with him, but it felt like the first time since everything— since the fractures, the distance. 

“Is this okay?” Bucky’s eyes softened, his lips curving into a small, private smile, one meant just for you. 

“It’s perfect.”

-to be continued...

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[cal-daisies-and-briars]

Hey, I'm feeling very awkward about this but I love love lovee your writing so here are the fics I'm looking forward to the most:

🧜🏼‍♂️🧜🏼‍♂️🧜🏼‍♂️🧜🏼‍♂️🧜🏼‍♂️🧜🏼‍♂️🧜🏼‍♂️🧜🏼‍♂️🧜🏼‍♂️🧜🏼‍♂️🧜🏼‍♂️🧜🏼‍♂️🧜🏼‍♂️🧜🏼‍♂️🧜🏼‍♂️🧜🏼‍♂️

⛅⛅⛅⛅⛅⛅⛅⛅⛅⛅⛅⛅⛅⛅⛅⛅

🔼🔼🔼🔼🔼🔼🔼🔼🔼🔼🔼🔼🔼🔼🔼🔼

(i know I've put too many of each but i kind of lost track)

Thank you so much! Take care.

Omg you DO NOT need to feel awkward! I love getting these and am so happy to receive them, so please! Also, THANK YOU! You are so kind!

48 for 🧜🏼‍♂️

---

“I’m Buck. Your dad’s friend from work.”

“Dad, you have friends?” Chris asks, not trying to be cutting, but just being blunt the way kids do. 

“Hey!” Eddie complains as Buck laughs. 

“Oh, yeah,” Buck says. “Your dad is super cool, Chris.”

Chris laughs. “Okay. I believe you.”

He believes him? Fine. Whatever. But then Eddie realizes, of course Chris is surprised. Eddie usually avoids bringing people around who aren’t family. Tries to keep his personal life separate from work. Yeah. It must seem to Chris like Eddie doesn’t have friends. And, honestly? Since leaving El Paso the way he did, he doesn’t. Except, now, for Buck. 

That friendship just sort of escalates after that night. Completely organically. Buck’s desire to help provides Eddie with a sort of relief he’s never really had before. Never really thought he could have. Someone trying to support him with no judgement, no ulterior motive. No suggestion he’s not cut out to raise Chris alone. He’s there with Eddie when Abuela breaks her hip. He’s there with Eddie when Eddie doesn’t have childcare for a shift, arranging with Bobby for Chris to come to the station. He helps connect Eddie with resources Eddie needs in the form of Carla, someone he met through an old friend, apparently. He’s kind of a godsend. And Eddie doesn’t know what to do with that. 

Eddie tries to give back as much as he’s getting, but it’s sort of hard. If there’s something Buck needs help with, he doesn’t seem to show it as much. With the exception of helping his sister move into a new apartment. Which seems like a small thing in comparison. Eddie is strong. He can lift some boxes and a couch no problem. It still doesn’t feel the same. 

What Eddie thinks he might be able to do, though, if he’s right about Buck, is maybe be someone who can uniquely understand him. That’s something valuable. Something special. Maybe even something Eddie himself craves pretty frequently. So over the course of those first few months of getting to know Buck, he tries to dig for information. Just subtly. He needs confirmation of his suspicions before he can reveal himself in turn. 

---

48 for ⛅

---

Christopher doesn’t look convinced. He takes a moment to think. Buck holds his breath. 

“What’s Nico’s birthday?” Chris asks after a beat. 

Fuck. 

Buck looks at Eddie for help. But why would Eddie know any better than him? Neither of them knows the answer to that. 

“Oh my god,” Chris accuses. “You don’t know.”

“Listen,” Eddie pleads. “Chris…”

“It’s June 15th,” Chris interrupts him. “Right before yours, Buck. How don’t you know that?”

All Buck can do is shoot Eddie a little frustrated glare. 

“I warned you this might happen.”

“Okay,” Eddie hisses back. “I didn’t think it through! You were right!”

“Tell me the truth,” Chris says. “Seriously. What the hell is going on?”

Neither Buck or Eddie says anything for a second. 

“Alright,” Chris says lowly. “I’m calling Bobby.” 

“No!” Buck more or less yelps. “Don’t-don’t do that. Okay? It’s okay, alright. We just… We woke up here, and-and we don’t know what’s going on, but-”

“Buck!” Eddie cuts him off. “He doesn’t need to worry about this!”

“He already is!” Buck protests. “He’s clearly already freaked out!”

Eddie looks betrayed. Like genuinely hurt that Buck would tell the truth. Buck doesn’t understand why. Why would he want Buck to lie to Christopher? Especially an adult Christopher who can presumably handle the truth. 

---

48 for 🔼

---

Jane is born nearly two weeks early, in the middle of the month. December 16th. Which is probably a more convenient birthday than her actual due date, but nevertheless, Shannon isn’t expecting it. 

She’s at Eddie’s house, with Maddie and Christopher. She and Eddie have been slowly moving her into his house in preparation for the baby. The plan is that she’ll stay there for a few months, so Eddie can be around to help. Her apartment is too small for the four of them, so this is the best solution. 

So Maddie is over, helping her set up some baby things while Eddie is at work. Not because Shannon and Eddie really need help with the baby stuff, but because Maddie sort of needs someone to talk to. She’s on suspension from work. Not ideal. And the situation is sort of wild, Shannon won’t lie. But she’s empathetic towards Maddie, understands why she did what she did. And she’s sure as hell going to be a listening ear. 

Or, at least, she’s going to try. Her water breaking mid-conversation was not on the agenda. 

This didn’t happen with Christopher. He was late and she had to be induced, and nothing felt sudden or spontaneous. It was slow and horrible and… Well, neither she nor Chris made it out of that without consequences. Shannon had sort of expected this time to go similarly. She’s honestly been dreading the whole thing. 

And now it’s, apparently, here.

“Fuck,” Shannon exhales when it happens, standing in the hallway outside Eddie’s - temporarily Shannon’s - bedroom. 

Maddie gives a tiny gasp. “Well, look at that.”

“Shit,” Shannon continues cursing. “Maddie, I’m not ready. I’m supposed to have more time.”

Maddie sort of transforms into nurse mode. Shannon knows this is in her career history, obviously. But she hasn’t actually seen it. Apparently she frequently uses this tone on Buck, though. 

“Well, you don’t have time. I’m sorry, but it’s okay. We’ll get you through this.”

“Damn it,” Shannon groans. She hasn’t felt any contractions yet, so this could still take a while. If it goes too long, they’ll induce her again… She can’t do that. Not again. She thinks she’d rather have a c-section. “My body… It’s not good at this. I’m… I can’t.”

“Yes, you can,” Maddie says firmly. 

[rourouxiaobao]

MXTX FoodZine 2024 \o/

My MXTX FoodZine 2024 fics are finally live!!! On my AO3, that is (they've been live via the official Zine channels for a while now, just that I was overseas, and then fell sick with Post-Trip Flu).

I contributed 2 fics and 3 recipes for this year's Zine! I was supposed to contribute and 3rd fic (collabbing with someone else's recipe) but time and stress really got to me and I couldn't get it done (to my standards) in time. I'll save it for next year's Zine! :D

My contributions: - MDZS fic + 1 recipe (there are 3 recipes in this collab) - TGCF fic + recipe - Recipe for a SVSSS art collab Info for each contribution below, along with page numbers for where they can be found within the digital Zine! For the fics, you can click/tap on the header or fic cover image to be directed to my fic!

Accusations of Murder (And Other Sibling Things) [MDZS Fic]

Relationships: Xue Yang & A-Qing, Jiang Yanli/A-Qing, Song Lan/Xiao Xingchen Tags: Yi City Fam, Siblings Xue Yang & A-Qing, Sibling Shenanigans, Are You Really Siblings If You Haven't Accused Each Other Of Heinous Crimes At Least Once, Sibling Love Language Is Accusing Your Sibling Of Murdering Your Pet, But You'll Also Die For Them, And You'll Absolutely Murder Anyone Who Fucks With Them, Just Sibling Things, Food Fic, MXTX FoodZine, Suppportive Bro Xue Yang, Coming Out, No Hurt All Comfort, Sibling Bonding, Modern AU Summary: Something is bothering A-Qing and Xue Yang, in his capacity as her insufferable responsible big brother, decides to do something about it.

Bribery with food and unfounded! accusations of murder abound. Pages: 110-115 (Pg110 GhostySword's recipe; Pg111 DJ's recipe card; Pg112 my recipe + DJ's art; Pgs113-115 my fic) Please check the post-fic notes for DJ's and Ghosty's socials!

One Man's Trash Is Another Man's Grocery List [TGCF Fic]

Relationships: Hua Cheng/Xie Lian, He Xuan/Shi Qingxuan, Shi Qingxuan & Xie Lian, Hua Cheng & He Xuan, Jun Wu/Mei Nianqing Tags: Food Fic, MXTX FoodZine, Modern AU, Xie Lian's Absolutely Trash Luck, Xie Lian's Absolutely Trash Cooking Skills, But If There's No Cooking Involved It'll Be Okay Right, In Sanlang We Trust, Getting Drunk, Drunken Shenanigans, Hualian, Beefleaf, Hangover, Meetcute or Meatcute, Undergrad Extracurricular Activities, Getting Together Summary: Through the capricious whims of fate, Xie Lian (someone who can and has burned a pot of water) finds himself registering to be a member of his new university's Cooking Club. Worst still, he has to bring a dish to the annual party for first-year students!

Will the help and advice of his new (best?) friend Sanlang be enough to help him whip up something that won't result in disaster to his kitchen or the local hospital's emergency department? Pages: 229-236 (Pg229 my recipe; Pgs230-236 my fic; Pg236 Misty's art) Please check the post-fic notes for Misty's socials!

Triple-Choco Cookies [SVSSS Recipe Card]

Recipe: Me Art: Inu [inuthe3rd @ Tumblr | Twitter | Instagram ] Page: 53

What Was The Dropped Entry?

It was the SVSSS fic for Li's (chefyli909 on Twitter) Ice Cream Mochi recipe. It's a MoShang fic (with background BingQiu). I had Grand Plans to do a fic for each MXTX-verse. Idk why I keep trying to murder myself lol. I guess with Inu's recipe card, I technically do have an entry/contribution for each, but still... ^^;;;

All that said, please check out the whole Zine for excellent MXTX foodie works by many awesome and talented fanwork creators! ^u^

And many thanks to the MXTX FoodZine team for their hard work and incalculable effort in coordinating yet another year of excellence! I'm so glad to be part of this fantastic Zine once again!

[detransdniposting]

They're part of why I made this blog.

They ran one of my friends/former coworker off the site a few weeks ago for refusing to interact with detrans or detrans fetishist blogs after his partner killed herself due to harassment from those groups.

He had a vent blog where he basically said "I wish people like that would get therapy instead of harassing people and threatening to commit hate crimes" and impunkster or whatever flipped shit and sent him his home address and threatened to have every detransitioner she knows send cops to where he was staying.

She accused him of being a therapist that was committing conversion therapy despite him being a trans person who works retail and effectively doxxes him. I messaged her trying to reason with her and she basically just responded with nonsense about having his therapist license taken (again, he works for Adam and Eve), but she was unhinged and just kept saying that he was "stalking her and making alts" every time one of his mutuals or her followers pointed out that she was going overboard.

From my understanding, she's an extremely mentally ill person who admits to having delusions and a loose grasp on reality, she's a detransitioner who attacks transgender people that don't want detrans content around them, she's paranoid that trans people are going to hurt her if they don't support her, and as an intersex person I can't help but notice that she claims that she has an intersex condition because she has an alter with endometriosis, which is not actually an intersex condition, and I'm not sure how an alternate personality can have a physical disability and I'm not sure how that makes the person with the alternate personality actually disabled or intersex.

So yeah. She is extremely transphobic, is probably not actually intersex, and she goes out of her way to attack people who call her out on being transphobic and intersexist to the point where she will chase them off of the site and dox them. She also frequently tells transgender people that they should kill themselves and brings up the transgender suicide rate anytime she's talking to a trans person she doesn't like. She told my friend that she actually supports trans people committing suicide if they are not willing to do transition.

I would definitely recommend that all users in the LGBT community just avoid her at all cost because like I mentioned she is unhinged and admits that she is extremely mentally unwell.

She's just generally a really fucking horrible person who should be avoided at all costs.

yeah, i knew i wasn't making it up or misremembering. this is the person who was back in either late 2023 or early 2024 that was bothering me and is also claiming to be entirely transfem now. don't even talk or engage with impunkster-syndrome if they come crawling back, they're an extremely bad faith run of the mill internet troll and literally the exact type of person i was talking about in that post.

[arcxnumvitae]

strawberryxdreams​ said: You know, I’m kinda team Ru in this. I think his response was fair and Aur deserved it. Go Ru!

I think everything ultimately came down to a difference in personalities, and the context of their dynamics and hangups with each other. Basically, I could see fault on both sides in this case. Aur’s a thinker and Ruaidhri’s a feeler, to Aur it didn’t feel like taboo ground to state the obvious truth “Mikael will die. You knew this? You had options to spare the both of you the pain of parting like that.” And there was definitely no malice or ill intent in it, Aur was mostly confused. But for where he went wrong, I think just because something seems logical to you still doesn’t make matters as simple as you might think they are, especially if you’re looking at how someone else may be feeling about the topic. And just because something is the truth doesn’t mean you shouldn’t still try to, you know, say it in an understanding or compassionate way that is considerate of what the person is going through. No matter what, Ruaidhri is facing the loss of someone important to him and he should have tried to think of a gentler way to phrase what he wanted to say.

Whereas Ruaidhri, the feeler, is like “I love him, I still can’t leave him even if I know this is inevitably destined towards sorrow.” His outburst actually wouldn’t have been as impassioned or severe had it not been for the conversation he had previously with his dad, or the way this precise issue has been gnawing against him for the past while.” But Ruaidhri I think went too far in his ‘heartless’ accusations, just because someone doesn’t emote the same way as you do or you misunderstand their intentions in what you say means they lack empathy or care (with this, I think of a lot of stereotypes and accusations ASD or neurodivergent people face for not outwardly emoting in the way other people expect them to). Like, aside from doing it in this moment of anger, it doesn’t make sense to accuse Aur of being heartless-- the man was the one who actively worked to fix things between Mikael and Ruaidhri when it would have solved more of his problems to ignore things and let the marriage continue. And I personally feel like deceased relatives, especially if it was recent and especially if it was painfully traumatic, should just not be mentioned in sensitive moments of emotion like that.

The core of Aur’s issue and character to me since he was first added has always been the way people find him disconcerting or hard to befriend because it’s always difficult to tell what he’s thinking or feeling. Ruaidhri’s at the time I added him was, funnily, that his life had kind of always revolved around the crown whether he liked it or not, not as internal as Aur’s personality thing but eh.

Then we also get into the issues of their pasts. Ruaidhri’s continuing lowkey grudge again Aur casually defining his entire life by virtue of being born to be married to him. And then Aur’s jealousy of Ruaidhri for living what he feels like is such a blissfully carefree and selfish existence, to the point where he could ditch the engagement and run off to the mortal world with his lover. I don’t think I’ve really talked about that stuff on Aur’s end though. Anyways, those underlying tensions also make them more susceptible to sour emotions towards the other.

Um...wow this got long. tl;dr: I think they both could have handled this better and they’ve got some stuff to work through.

[honeysunchild]

It really hurts when it feels like a friend you considered family gives up on you and the relationship

Like, we could have talked about it, we could have found a solution together, we were each others family remember?! But instead you chose to just give up and cut me out

[tenok]

.

[katierosefun]

hm i know the jedi order wasn’t perfect and i know that it was all politics but. ugh thinking about the wrong jedi arc again and yes i know the council was so sorry about how things happened to ahsoka but the way there will always be a tiny, tiny part of me that’s. like. scream. you’ve known this kid for years you know who she is. how can you believe that she’d really do something like this why didn’t you fight harder for her of course she’s not gonna come back how do you think she’s gonna come back when she thinks that her entire family betrayed her over the course of two seconds and it’s like. like all things, the situation is so much more nuanced and layered than that but thinking about the full brunt of that and also. hm yes maybe unpopular opinion ahsoka deserved to be a little bit bitchy at the council when she saw them again! i think she should have been a little bitchier

[overworked-bookworm]

.

let me drop some drama on y’all — in the last year + 7 days, I:

reconnected with multiple friends from high school at a wedding I legally officiated for two old friends

realized in hindsight that I had liked one of our classmates when we were in school, who had attended the wedding and was now recently divorced

started talking to him very often and, by proxy, the husband I officiated the wedding for

started an on-off flirtation with the divorced friend — [clarification: HE started it, but I was very receptive when I realized what he was doing, it just took me a while]

became the “dump my mental health problems” friend for the husband^ who I’ve said is like a baby brother to me for *checks calendar* 12+ years

was accused by my friend’s wife AND the friend that I was flirting with that I was having an affair with the husband or at least harboring romantic feelings for him

she also accused me of behaving like her abusive mother, when I told her she was out of line for even thinking I would have an affair with (1) her husband (2) who I kept saying was like a baby brother to me

held an intervention for the husband about his ragingly out of control anxiety, where he proceeded to, like, beat the windows of the car and yell and be violent [not at me but around me and I was very triggered and scared] — after which he said he couldn’t trust me anymore because I was projecting my anxiety onto him, and he was fine

fell into an episode of psychosis because I was surrounded by people who didn’t trust me for reasons they’d all made up in their heads, and were all mad at me for ❤️

[while in psychosis] dealt with the guy I was flirting with talking about wanting to sleep with his coworker, and being very on/off + hot/cold with me — which I wrote off as post-divorce emotional problems I just needed to be patient through lmao

[while in psychosis] dealt with the husband’s mental breakdown about never wanting to get married in the first place, dragging my family and the family of the guy I was flirting with into the mess — we got the husband pink slipped and I stopped talking to him and his wife

was told by the friend that had been flirting with me that he’d been leading me on, as he proceeded to ditch me for another friend that I helped him reconnect with — but promised me that we were besties and nothing would change!! (how kind. also? he broke that promise immediately and called me difficult)

dealt with his new girlfriend lying to me about them not being together, because no!! hoes before bros, Alex, I would never date someone who hurt my friend!! but also you need to be personally accountable for feeling hurt!!

there’s more in the way they’ve both treated me since he decided he was done with me, but my therapist and I are still parsing through it

turns out I probably don’t need to be taking Ativan twice a day and sleeping after work + all night bc of the high dosage, I just needed to start cutting out bad friends! my anxiety has never been more managed now that I’ve decided to listen to every other friend that’s told me these ones were all no good for me! I do need the anti-psychotics, though. I heard voices for 2 months and it was NOT a good time.

I didn’t have this much drama in my life ten years ago when we were actual children — the next time I start posting about liking a man, someone remind me that it brings me absolute misery. None of this would have happened if I hadn’t wanted to hop on his dick 🙄🙄🙄

[puthyflapps]

I saw this tiktok that said “ain’t nothing better than finally sleeping with the man your ex always accused you of sleeping with” and all I could think of was ranya au with Luna as the ex 🤭

In that angsty ranya au we were all talking about last week, I did put in the tags that they were engaging in a smidge bit of adulterous behavior 🫣🤭🤭🤭 so that situation was more like, “ain’t nothing better than sleeping with the man your ex always accused you of sleeping with and that you actually did sleep with”

But I also love the idea of a love triangle au where ranya swear up and down to everyone and even themselves that they’re not in love with each other, they’re just best friends 🙄🙄 which is a blatant lie that anyone with at least two brain cells could see through. And like they do everything to prove (mainly to themselves let’s bffr) that there’s nothing between them and Raven even goes so far as to start dating Luna. Granted, Raven’s in her denial era so she doesn’t recognize that she’s basically forcing herself to love Luna. She likes her but she’s not in love with her and she never will be. Not while Anya is on this earth brooding around in that cute grumpy way that Raven loves so much.

[mejomonster]

Enforcing boundaries has only been a positive since learning and practicing. Every relationship that’s good for my life remains good or gets even better, every relationship that’s hurt me either improves or falls away either way leaving a lot of relief and life just becomes a lot less stressful. If you worry you take care of others and forget yourself and don’t want to say no to people even when doing so would help you feel better, if you feel guilty a lot in life over a lot of things, i really think boundaries would help. i promise the good relationships in life will only continue to be good or become better, and the ones that hurt will stop and it will feel better in the long run. 

this article might help but there’s honestly a plethora of info, find explanations that are helpful for you

[nandorisms]

.

[caffeinatedopossum]

I feel like I'll never be a good artist because of my aphantasia

[msfcatlover]

Working my way through these comics, and I gotta say…

…at the very least, I’ll be able to throw all this canon out with insufferably smug authority by the time I’m through.

[ambrosiagourmet]

I want to talk about why I think this is the one of the most important Falin panels:

So, Falin is really nice, right? It's one of the first things we really learn about her. She's kind even to the monsters of the dungeon - choosing to ward the party rather than fight spirits and cause them needless harm.

In the above early flashback in chapter 11, we see Marcille fawning over Falin's kindness, calling her an angel. Namari calls her soft-hearted. We see Falin choose not to fight even when a zombie attacks - instead she resolves the confrontation with a hug. After the flashback, the first thing Senshi says is that Falin "sounds like quite the person," which Marcille strongly affirms.

At this point in the story, all we have seen of Falin are these impressions; she is a healer, an angel, a caretaker with an infinite well of kindness towards everyone she meets - both friend and foe.

And honestly, that remains most of what we have to go by to understand her. The only times we get to see Falin on the page, alive and just herself, are in the opening and closing pages of the story and in the brief period of time after she is resurrected.

Nonetheless, we do have some more details to work with. For one, there is the scene that The Panel is from - a short memory in chapter 75, when Marcille flashes back to while she's dying. In that scene, Falin prepares to teleport them all out, and says that she's sorry "if there is a person at [their] destination." And that's when we get The Panel.

If you teleport someone or something into another person, the person teleported into is likely to be, at minimum, severely injured. They could die.

We can see a lovely little horrifying example of exactly why in one of the Daydream Hour doodles:

So, hmm. That's not... that's not SUPER nice. Certainly not displaying the same "kindness to all, friend and foe included" we saw represented earlier. On a basic level, this adds some nuance to Falin's kindness. We see it break a little, when pushed to the limit. We see her chose to protect the people she loves above all else.

Which makes sense! As Laios says when the Winged Lion accuses him of similarly being motivated more by his friends' safety than everyone else in the dungeon, "...most people, aside from virtuous do-gooders, would feel the same way."

So, we can take The Panel as simply showing a moment of weakness for Falin. A time when she was pushed to her limits, and that "most people" selfish side of her shone through.

However... I think there's a little more going on with Falin than just her being an angel 99% of the time, except just that once. I love The Panel because I think it helps us understand that Falin isn't just motivated by kindness - she also has a desire to avoid seeing people in pain.

Isn't that the same thing?

No, no it very much is not.

Let's look at a short comic from the Falin section of the Adventurer's Bible, because I think it illustrates this point perfectly. The group is complaining about how much Marcille's healing hurts, and comparing it to Falin's, which "doesn't hurt a bit." Marcille retorts with the following:

Now, the punchline of this comic is that, despite Marcille's sentimental assertion that she's "thinking of [them]" by letting her healing magic hurt, they all still prefer to be healed by Falin.

But hey, this wouldn't be the first time that Dungeon Meshi hides a very real character beat or insight in a gag, so let's think about this somewhat seriously.

If Marcille is right (and she knows a fair bit about magic, so we can assume that she has at least somewhat of a point), then what Falin is doing isn't kind. I suppose if someone specifically requested to not feel the pain, it could be kind, but that's not really what happened here. She is the one who felt badly about the others being in pain, and she is the one who decided, without telling them or giving them a choice in the matter, to take away that pain.

Both Marcille and Falin are healing the party, but Marcille is doing it in a way that accomplishes the task in the most straight forward way, without any additional interference. Falin is going out of her way to perform the healing in a way she is more comfortable with. A way that avoids pain.

Going back the The Panel, I don't think its a coincidence that the only time we see Falin (well, non-chimera Falin) willing to do something that could hurt someone is when any potential pain will be far away from her. If she got someone hurt or killed by teleporting the party to the surface? Not only would it be far out of her sight, but she'd be dead before she had to deal with any consequences of that action.

Falin is not a confrontational person. She doesn't push when Marcille won't tell her the truth about the resurrection, and she comforts Laios about her own death - both of those things happening in the only full chapter she is alive and conscious in the whole story.

We also know that she considered accepting Shuro's proposal, despite not having any special feelings towards him, and that Falin never explained to Marcille that she wanted them to share a meal together. When she brought Marcille various foods at the academy, she just accepted Marcille's confused rejection and gave up.

And lastly, we know that she is still in contact with her parents, despite the neglect and abuse she suffered at their hands. Although the way someone chooses to handle contact with abusive or bad family is a complicated topic, which I don't want to overly simplify, I do I think this fact gets at the heart of how she handles conflict.

So many people that Falin loves have hurt her. There are understandable hurts, like Laios leaving the village, or Marcille not understanding the food. And there are bigger, far less justifiable hurts - like her parents neglecting her throughout her childhood, and sending her away to be alone at the magic academy.

It doesn't seem like Falin has ever confronted any of it directly.

And the unhealthy aspects of this kind of avoidance of pain and confrontation is one of the things that the story of Dungeon Meshi is all about. We see Laios grapple with it before he goes to kill Falin, and we see Marcille acknowledge it at the end of the story, when she tells Laios that she has come to terms with Falin's death:

Eating is a part of life. Consuming other living things is a part of life. It isn't really possible to avoid that pain - you can only hide from the truth of it. You have to be selfish everyday. You have to eat - to choose to live. To choose to take up space.

And this is something Falin embraces, too. She comes back to life, after all.

We see her choose to come back to life.

And how does she make that choice? She eats. She consumes, and then she is asked a question by the manifestation of hunger itself:

Do you want to eat more?

There is a double meaning in the Winged Lion's final words on the next page.

When I first read this, I took it as him saying: life is cruel. You will suffer. You will feel more pain.

But perhaps, especially for Falin, this also means: you are choosing a path where you must cause pain. Where you must consume. Where you must take, and must be selfish. Because eating is the special privilege of the living, and it is their burden, too. In order to stay alive, she will need to keep eating.

And she chooses that. Chooses to be selfish. It's why her resurrection scene is so important, and it's why The Panel is so important. Because Falin coming back isn't the ultimate reward for all of the party's hard work.

It's her choice. Just like it was her choice that started everything in the first place. But this time, she doesn't choose to accept causing pain for the sake of Marcille and Laios. She does it for her own sake.

[girlfictions]

something i’ve been thinking about lately is like. growing up muslim right after 9/11 is something i’d never really reflected on much because it was all i’d ever known — at 5, my friend’s mum didn’t let her invite me to her birthday party because i was the only brown girl in our class, at 12, my classmates would joke about my family being part of isis, at 16, my dad was interrogated by american airport security for hours — and it always stung and it always hurt but it was just the way things were because the western world hated muslims. but i don’t think i’ve ever fully comprehended the extent to which we were hated until now.

palestine is being turned into a mass graveyard. every single day there are new photos of the atrocities being carried out against them and videos of them pleading for help and still those who can actually intervene turn a blind eye. israel is claiming to only be targeting hamas “terrorists” while bombing a refugee camp. israeli police raided and assaulted a non-zionist jewish neighbourhood. israeli soldiers are posting tiktoks of them torturing captured palestinians. this is not a complicated issue and it never has been. ethnic cleansing is being committed right in front of us. and yet the western world leaders refuse to call for a ceasefire.

and while zionist organisations accuse pro-palestine demonstrations of anti-semitism, while zionist celebrities insist that they’re afraid to leave their mansions in los angeles, a six year old muslim boy was stabbed to death and his mother wounded in the same attack in chicago. a muslim doctor was murdered while sitting outside her apartment complex in texas. hundreds of peaceful protesters have been arrested (many of whom have been jewish). despite what zionists want you to believe, this is not a jewish/muslim conflict. i have so much love and gratitude to my brave jewish brothers and sisters all over the world who are condemning israel for their actions.

ultimately, israel have been granted impunity by the west. they have slaughtered thousands upon thousands of innocent palestinians. they have bombed hospitals and schools indiscriminately. they have used white phosphorus, violating the geneva convention. they have completely eradicated nearly 900 bloodlines. how many more need to be wiped out? how many more children need to be buried underneath the rubble? how many more doctors need to be confronted with the bodies of their own family members? how many more journalists need to detail the horrific acts of violence they are witnessing? what more can be done to the palestinian people that has not been done already?

i truly believe that palestine will be free one day. i believe the palestinian people will receive the justice they finally deserve. but what breaks my heart is how much they have suffered and will continue to suffer before they are deemed worthy of help. and it would be to all of our detriment if we ignored how much of a factor palestine being a predominantly muslim state has played into the way the world has reacted to their genocide.