#person could be really hurt. really harmed even. and still there could be biases or misunderstanding or any human messiness
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#the thing is. you should believe survivors#also my ex after we broke up tried to go to half of our mutual friend and tell them horrifying stories of abuse he was dealing with#it wasn't even planned smearing campain (I don't think it's his style). he was truly hurt. some things really di happened. some even#happened the way he told it. and some were blowed to 'I went to work with bruises every day' (he was grabbed by hand by other partner once#and had bruises because he was so white-skinned he bruised like from touch)#or how I forced him to live with other man that hated him and turned his life to hell (he forgot to mention that it was my disabled brother#he flew away from our abusive mother as soon as he turned 18 and I gave him shelter. after asking partners to consider this seriously#because it's big commitment. I also stated several times that I'm willing to move out with him if it's unpleasant. also this 'living hell'#was him ignoring my partner completely after he yelled on him several times because as he said he didn't ran away from home#to suffer yelling again)#so yeah. it didn't work that time because my friend actually know everything from me long before my ex came to them#they nodded politely and never talked to him again#but it lingers. and it majes me look really critically at any call out or accusation.#person could be really hurt. really harmed even. and still there could be biases or misunderstanding or any human messiness#it sounds like girl had a horrifying experience. it also looks like she kept illusion of being fully on board and loving it.#was it believably? or he just didn't care#did he pick her because she was young and inexperienced? or because she told him she's interested in bdsm?#did he tried to help her when she was in bad place? or was he calculatingly buying her silence?#was he creepy or was he awkward?#honestly I don't know even... what kind of proofs you can get there#like we have her statement. we have objective thing — texts and vids. we can have Gaiman own statement#so what if he will repeat what stated in messages: it was consensual she literally wrote what she want me to do etc#believe survivors. what if everything she told is true too. but also what in messages are true too#what if she was scared and hurt and also told him yes and more and please master. because people are complicated#would he accused of not reading her mind? would there be charges on not checking enough. HOW WRAP MY MIND AROUND IT#like it's all is ne genuinely trying to understand what's next and how it could be wrapped at all#for the record: even if it was absolutely 💯 consensual and girl like completely lying about everything etc#he's still clearly fucked up and things were messy for a lot of reasons. it's bad!#but there's difference between 'it was rape or coercion' and 'it was poorly planned affair and he should've be more considerate of partners#feelings'. and in any way. hope that girl gets help
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I really enjoy how Yamanaka can encapsulate the guilt of being alive in his characters. That guilt from living and being human people all intrinsically have due to our shared history. Along with the ways we as individuals try to admonish ourselves for it.
The ways we begin to police ourselves and form ideologies to prop up the moral and right center we believe we should have. In what's a clear attempt to differentiate or sometimes make ourselves feel superior to others. It really highlights that at the end of the day, it's not just ones ideologies that hurt people but how they communicate and practice those things.
There are beliefs that people have crafted over decades for the sole purpose of hurting and devaluing others. Beliefs that one would be hard pressed to not find a person that on some level believes them regardless of where in the world they are. It'd be even more difficult not to run into someone who sympathizes with those who believe in something that is clearly harmful. Not because they think the thing is good but because they recognize this is a mistake they either could've made, almost made, or have wanted to make themselves.
Milgram is a good series because it serves to show, through its audiences response and participation, how many things left unsaid can become the foundation of biases. Biases that then go on to impact and inform how we treat others around us. It's easy to say religion is bad when it's not your beliefs being questioned.
It's harder for an individual to ask what beliefs that I hold dear are causing pain to those around me. Furthermore, how can I practice and keep to my beliefs in a way that causes no harm to others. Do I really believe this, or do I just like the impression of me it gives people if I say I believe this. What sort of person am I? Am I the lines I draw or the many ways I hold others to these lines but skirt around them myself? Is there a way to truly objectively be moral and in the right?
Or is the very act of conveniencing ourselves we can be just another form of human error?
What's the worst that could happen by interrogating the idea that I may be wrong? Does the possible blow to my ego matter more than the possibility for growth that could give? If I'm wrong about this, there's no telling what else I could be wrong about. What if I've been wrong about everything all my life, then what?
It's different when it's something we believe in ourselves. It's different when it's a cause one has convinced themselves to fight for. It's different when we have to cross our own lines. A lot of people equate changing with dying instead of growing. I believe this is because a lot of people feel shame and guilt over their past. So they say things like that was the old me, I'm not that person anymore.
Something that isn't always indicative of growth and come off as just plain denial.
Yes, I'm not the person I was yesterday. I won't be the person I am now, tomorrow or an hour from now. Yet, I'll still be me regardless of what I learn. Regardless of when I face what I have yet to know and it becomes what I now know. Regardless of if something from my past comes back to question me now. My feelings, views, and circumstances will keep changing because the fact that I'm alive today gives me the privilege to experience change.
When did people become ashamed of saying "I'm still me." When did it become more important to discrad oneself in the name of changing than to grow into yourself. When did change become denial? Plus, what exactly will it hurt to give ourselves space to fuck up and be wrong? What would people lose out on by not beating themselves down?
Instead of going the that was the old me going,
"During that time I was biased, stubborn, uniformed, and only centering my own views. I'm trying to be better now. I want to hear your opinion and be present in this moment with you. That can't happen if I'm always playing defense."
When we admit we're capable of doing wrong, it can feel bad. That sort of thing can really fucking sting. Yet if we never do, we ultimately deprive ourselves of the ability to be right. We ultimately trap ourselves in one spot. We put ourselves up on the same pedestal we place these characters on and try to do no wrong.
It's easy to say this sort of thing hurts the person doing it the most. Easy to see how this mindset can impact us because we're the one's experiencing it. It can feel like someone is the only person experiencing these things at times. That others just don't understand, and they may not be asking them to anyway.
That's their weight, their duty. Their's to carry nobody else's. Then, one day, they'll look up wondering why this thing they were meant to carry on their own has crushed everyone around. If it was their choice, why didn't it just impact them? That's the fair thing after all.
Yet, that's just not how living works. Our choices, beliefs, and views impact more than just ourselves because we're people. We live in a shared experience with the others around us. It's a miraculous and amazing thing. If the Milgram characters couldn't impact and interact with each other... If they couldn't form or deny community within the prison.
Would it still be Milgram? If we didn't have that choice ourselves, would we still be living? Those sort of things. Displaying those types of characters and creating that sort of atmosphere. It's difficult but endlessly entertaining.
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Just a little disclaimer I’m not asking this question to try to come across as hurtful or anything like that. But I was wondering how as an Aegon-stan his treatment of women can make you have a very nuanced opinion of him? :o
- Personally I’m TB but do have empathy for some TG-characters. I do like Aegon as an antagonist and I do feel for his very toxic and harmful upbringing but due to his violent behavior towards women.. I just can’t really connect that well with him 🫣
Hi! Thank you for your ask :) Super interesting question actually! I have written some things for him in the past, talking about what exactly fascinated me about his character so much ( exhibit one, two three, four and five )
I also urge you to listen to Tom talk about Aegon; this man gets him as a character so well and says it better than I ever could. Some interviews found here, here and here
I can understand not being able to connect with him because of his treatment of Dyana— it's an unforgiveable thing he has done to her and might have done to others. But in spite of that, he is still just a character. Everything he does is meant to inform us about his certain traits he has, even the ugliest of things.
What does it tell us about Aegon? He is entitled, doesn't take things seriously, he is indulgent and does not see Dyana (or other smallfolk for that matter) as a real person (succession reference wink wink)
I wouldn't call his behavior towards women in general toxic though— I actually think he is somewhat demure when faced with women like his mother, Rhaenyra and also Helaena. He seems to kick down most of the time, while trying to get recognition from the ones he sees as peers or above him.
If you look at the culture he was raised in, it's not really a surprise he turned out the way he did, seeing women beneath him as something he can just take if he likes to. Westeros is cartoonishly misogynistic; traditions like First Night or the prevelance of brothels filled with women working under harsh indentures show that.
Young men of noble origin seem to see visits to brothels (again, filled with women that do not want to be there) as a normal past time activity; it's so prevalent that it's surprising if a young nobleman does not participate. Now, I do not want to excuse his actions, but seeing the culture he grew up him and the influences around him? -> He probably thinks this is normal behaviour, disturbingly.
On a bit different note, I want to talk about his relationships. A thought I see often echoed in the fandom is the headcanon that Aegon is violent towards Helaena when that... was never stated anywhere? Now I'm probably biased because I'm a big Helaegon girl but I don't see him being violent with his sister.
People say he impregnated her at 13 when.. he was also just a 15 year old boy? He did not want to marry her! Both literally did not and could not consent to what happened to them, I think it's so sad that people try to demonize a child who just did what was demanded from him from all the adults in his life :(
(like yes tell me about how one of these KIDS forced himself on the other out of fully selfish desire and pure evil. you're so smart and do not lack media literacy whatsoever)
The dinner scene literally shows Helaena laugh at Aegon's antics until he goes a step too far w Baela, and what does Helaena do? She clowns him in front of everyone with her toast. And what does he do? He just takes it... not the behaviour of an evil abusive man but the delulus will swear otherwise.
People will also try to twist her crying at the coronation as some depressive moment for her where she realizes that he will have the ultimate power over her when that's LITERALLY just a (very boring) headcanon. It's hinted at in the text and literally written out in the script that she is scared, because she knows what crowning him means; the dance cannot be stopped. That's all, that's why she's crying. She feels like their end is near.
All in all I think no one can change your mind on how you feel about Aegon; what he did IS unforgivable, but I hope you see a bit of my pov here too. Seeing the nuance in deeply flawed characters and digging to find hidden depths in them is something I'm very passionate about! My Aegon girlie mutuals and me will be feasting come season 2 🙏
#i kind of started yapping at the end there sorry lmao. but i hope you can see my pov here.#aegonposting#hotd meta#aegon ii targaryen#hotd#house of the dragon#ales.txt#my writing#my creation#asks
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I watched the the last two episodes of Hazbin Hotel
HOLY FUCKING SHIT OMFG I JUST WANTED TO EXPRESS MY THOUGHTS ON IT AND RAMBLE SO HERE
!!!HAZBIN HOTEL SPOILERS!!!
!!!VERY DETAILED SPOILERS!!!
Episode 7:
almost immediately I was happy to see Charlie get angry and frustrated even if it was just for that little rant about everything that’s happened so far and then choosing to make a deal with Alastor was insane I’m already theorizing all the ways he could ask for a favor that would still be pretty bad even if it doesn’t involve hurting anyone.
when we get to meet Rosie for the first time I kinda expected her to me more malicious and kinda blood thirsty but she ended up actually being a very sweet person who was very genuine and I loved that about her, she gave Charlie some very good advice about Vaggie that I really appreciate bc I though the same thing, also wasn’t expecting her to have the voice she did but I loved it anyway. (FUCKING SUSAN) the way both Alastor and Rosie just behaved like besties in this was way too funny Alastor cursing was way funnier tho and the fact that all it took was just to say hey there’s gonna be free food and it’s angels flesh was so stupidly simple.
I loved that they gave Carmilla another song she was absolutely beautiful and badass like bro HER HAIR DOWN GOT ME BARKING NOT GONNA LIE, she’s a very strong woman who is smart, resilient, and loves her daughters, also I’m biased bc she’s Latina and I’m latina so obviously she’s the best. The fact that Vaggie being an Angel was so obvious is hilarious to me I always thought the X on her eye was some type of aesthetic eyepatch not like an actual thing angels get when they lose and eye??? Still not sure about that but whatever, I loved the realization that yeah Vaggie fights with no real concern about her own life because she’s never had to fear for her own safety before, she wasn’t even aware she could die so the fact that Carmilla is like girl you fight like you aren’t scared of getting hurt which is stupid on your part is both funny and like wow yeah she’s so right that is a dumb way to go about it. Since usually demons can’t cause any type of real harm angels have never had to worry about death so they go about killing every extermination day completely recklessly so it keeps them open to weak points, they didn’t even think about their own weapons they left behind being used against them so yeah, the song was an absolute bop (like girl find the motivation to fight in the fact that you have someone to lose).
I love that the others stayed obviously they would but it’s nice to see everyone trying to help in any way they can despite the circumstances, they all enjoy each other’s company and it was so nice to see how far everyone has come.
Episode 8:
I’m kinda confused as into how Vox managed to get cameras? technology?? Into the hotel but whatever his reactions are funny. Almost immediately I was trying to figure out who was gonna die this final episode and when I saw dear ol Pentious in his little uniform I kinda knew and I was pre sobbing getting ready for the emotional damage I was gonna get (which side note I absolutely love his hair?? When it’s down I mean I’m a sucker for long black hair??? So yeah) anyway the whole thing with him and Cherri is so cute he’s such a dork. I like the scene with nifty and Alastor cause honestly I fully believe he doesn’t own her soul she’s just so outta pocket that he finds her amusing and her presence entertaining and he genuinely enjoys it so she gets to stick around, DID YALL SEE THE FUCK ME EYES HUSK GAVE ANGEL AT THE BAR DONT TELL ME YOU DIDNT AND THE WAY ANGEL LOOKED AT HIM WHEN HE WAKLED OFF YOOOOOOOO I CANTTTTT, and then Pentious being so awkward with Cherri is so cute my man was STRUGGLING tryna confess his love for her, he did say some really sweet things tho that she was kinda getting into it before he ran off plus Angel being like hey he got two dicks and she’s like huh 🤔 (like GIRL GET SOME OF THAT OR ELSE I WILL ).
They really did us dirty with having Charlie so obviously in front of angels door crying and shit before the episodes came out that shit had me sweating. So Adam, I’m not gonna like he kinda….👀 but only because he’s voiced by THE Alex Brightman like c’mon be so serious he did that character so good I can’t even, also I was kinda wondering why all the exorcists are all women like is that just because Adam prefers it or what? But anyway the fact that Vox got the other two V’s together so they can all watch this shit go down is so funny bc they couldn’t care less. It was so fun seeing what Alastor had in store bc I find him so fascinating as a character he has all these interesting powers that he doesn’t really get to use too often since he never has a reason to kinda go all out and have fun killing people so it was fun seeing that. Bro when Adam punched the dome that was wild I was like wow that was kinda cool I’m not gonna lie and the fight with Alastor was insane the animation was amazing it was so fun seeing Al just dodging his attacks with such grace like go off king tell him he’s a bitch 😌💅, when his microphone got sliced in half his reaction was absolutely priceless holy shit I rewatched that shit like 5 times bc I couldn’t get over him cursing like it was so quick but it did the job so well, hearing his actual voice outside of his normal Radio-ish way of sounding was really something it made it feel more alive I guess. Vox’s reactions was so funny he really is a bitter ex that just wants the worst for him I love it (NO! FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOUUUUU, PUSSY!!) I love him.
When Vaggie said something had to be done about Adam and Pentious was watching I just knew, AND MY MAN JUST REALLY RIZZED CHERRI LIKE THAT BROO HE DIPPED HER AND EVERYTHING OMGGGGGG like I agree with her that WAS hot. I WAS SO PISSED THAT HE DIED FOR NOTHING LIKE BRO I KNEW HE WAS GONNA DIE A JOKE DEATH I JUST KNEW IT, they couldn’t even give bro the honor of dying in a way that would make us cry cause when he went out like that I just knew he was gonna probably end up in heaven to make up for how lame that was. Having Charlie call Adam a pig was so fun like yeas girl tell him, I kinda didn’t agree with Vaggie deciding to allow Lute to live cause girl that’s a loose end I would not wanna deal with later bc she has no mercy (she literally ripped off her own arm to chase after her bro) she would not hesitate to kill, like yeah I get the whole I’m better than you so yeah live with the fact the only reason you breathe is because I let you but girl be so for real she is a nuisance that will come back to bite you in the ass later I know it.
The fact that I didn’t even think about the fact that Adam was wearing a mask this whole time is so stupid of me but when I did see that I was thinking of all the ways he could’ve looked like and to say I was disappointed is an understatement, my disappointment got worse when I saw his pathetic little goatee 😑I’ve seen way better fanart, Lucifer coming in with the save 😮💨 not him saying he was gonna fuck Adam the silence was so loud (the only time the other two V’s found it interesting too)😂😂. lucifer is such an airhead twink I love him; Not only is he effortlessly flying circles around Adam and having fun while doing it he’s insulting him too, THE EVE COMMENT WAS SO OUTTA POCKET BRO LIKE WHAT WHEN DID EVE TAP THAT (lucky bitch) I was wondering where she was and apparently it was in his bed (that shit made me snort he has hella rizz) cause not only did he take Adam’s first wife he took the second one too bro, it was pretty cool seeing his more demon form his horns where hella cool and the fact that the entire time Lucy was like unserious about his whole interaction with Adam’s is crazy because I feel like it shows how powerful he really is, after all he is still a seraphim. I appreciate that despite everything Charlie still keeps her compassion and keeps her dad from killing him cause that could not be me girl plus nifty coming in with the last stab is hilarious he really got killed by her of all people that is sad, from what I could count I think she stabbed him 15 times maybe? Which like damm that’s crazy he stood no chance I’m kind of wondering if lute and him had something going one too bc her reaction was definitely not just some soldier who worshipped him it felt more personal and with the whole (sir SIR ADAM!!) plus the dopey ass smile he gave her wich Im ignoring the fact that it might’ve been due to the rapid amount of blood exiting his body and the multiple stab wounds and the fact he was, you know….dying was very loving in a way that just makes you think if there was more to them.
(Quick shout out to the fact that I’m watching the last episode for the second time and I just noticed what I think is Angeldust’s brother and Baxter watching the news)
I’m curious what deal Alastor made that is making him want so desperately to get out bc he definitely was close to a nervous breakdown there (husk was so disappointed Al didn’t die in the war). I was so thankful Pentious actually went to heaven bro I was starting to worry I’m not gonna lie 😀, his design is pretty cute i find it funny he ended up right in front of Sarah and Emily bc you’d expect him to be at the gates but no, it was like a big fuck you to Sarah about redemption which I love how they both reacted to that (love Emily).
Now Lilith, the fact that she is so obviously in heaven is insane like girl you have been gone for SEVEN years with absolutely zero contact with anyone and at first I was like where can she even go in hell that would keep her away for so long and then boom she’s on a nice beach somewhere up above like what the hell. Apparently her and Adam made a deal which my theory is that way before it was made official in order for for the exterminator to happen permanently which I’m guessing was Adam’s idea him and Lilith agreed that if she sang just enough to get his idea accepted by Sarah she would get to stay and chill in heaven maybe? It could be deeper than that but it’s crazy that all this time when her daughter needed her most she was just enjoying life upstairs, maybe she really is the evil mastermind behind it all.
(Something I just thought about, did Lucifer cheat on Lilith with Eve??? Cause like when he said he stole botu of Adam’s wives he was with Lilith so does that explain why they aren’t together or maybe had a falling out a long time ago, or would explain his depression and sense of guilt despite it being so long ago kind of)
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Anyway that was all my opinions and commentary on the last two episodes of hazbin hotel I just don’t have anyone to talk to this about and it was too early for anyone else to really write anything about this so I was like fuck it I have tumbler, please do leave comments on your opinions, commentary, and theories about this I would absolutely love to hear what you you’d have to say thank you for reading this shit show that is my brain. 🥰
#hazbin hotel#hazbin alastor#hazbin angel dust#hazbin husk#hazbin charlie#hazbin vaggie#hazbin lucifer#hazbin spoilers
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Bueno Exellente is a registered sex offender who was put on a "hero" team by a raging alcoholic. The current version is married to an amalgamation of human intestines and he can only say two words. He "intimidates" bad guys with the threat of something that is legitimately scary for everyone, but is ultimately no different from the threat of violence which for some reason people are more okay with? If you think that's being portrayed as "seriously" heroic and "haha look they deserve it", I think you missed a couple steps there and "who" the actual joke here is. Hint: it's not his victims, who are portrayed as the sane and reasonable ones by comparison. Just say he's a crack concept that you personally don't like or that you aren't comfortable with rape as a theme, or with the idea that rape could be combined with comedy and move on. Even if he were unironically being used to portray rape itself as "funny", that's still a personal hang up and the complaints are a transparent attempt at censorship that has nothing to do with victims or how they feel. And if violence doesn't bother you as a theme in the same ways rape does when surviving a violent nonsexual encounter can have similar lasting effects on a person, maybe analyze why that is? Why should rape remain taboo in any or certain subjects while violence, murder, even genocide gets a free pass for everything?
There have been a couple rants on here about purity culture in general but what's really telling about the people who support it and censorship is that the rants hardly ever mention Garth Ennis if at all talk about his work, and some were even about defending fan fiction writers instead. People just assume without actually listening to or reading what's being said. If you have to ask: "Well, what about this kind of victim's feelings?", you aren't actually interested in how those victims feel unless it supports your personal biases and calls for censorship which adhere to your views of how purity culture should be imposed. This is just the "erotica" vs. sexual argument, or the slasher vs. "elevated horror" argument. You're just a hypocrite who is facing cognitive dissonance and you don't want to accept it. Do not pretend you care about victims when you participate in purity culture in any format, even rape and comedy. Yes, there are some victims that find comfort in that too. No, they still don't deserve to be shamed for it. Whether you like it or not, personal opinions hold no bearing on what creative content should or shouldn't exist or what artists are "allowed" to create. Creatives can create whatever the fuck they want. To support creative freedom means supporting this without exception, even if you despise what they make and yes, you can still dislike it. Just don't pretend your personal tastes are critique or be an ass on an ass about it, especially to victims and survivors.
I don't care how "offended" anyone is to hear it said that purity culture only harms and silences victims and to support it is to support hurting victims. Like it or not, that is fact. That is proven. There is observed and relevant evidence of this. Deal with the truth and acknowledge it or continue to be the type of person that unironically, unintentionally or intentionally, supports abusers and ignores victims. Purity culture does not help victims and it never will and no one has the right to police creativity, regardless of what it portrays or how we may feel.
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hello! I have mental illness myself, and have recently begun diving into your resources. I agree that your mental condition does not determine who you are, but growing up, I had a parent with NPD who was extremely abusive. I know it's not meant in a way to pretend abuse isn't real, but when I see things like "narcissistic abuse isn't real", it makes me really uncomfortable- because I have suffered it myself. I still am learning about things, so I may be misinformed, but doesn't NPD mean your personality- who you are- is supremely arrogant and self-centered, with no regard for others? The only explanation I have come up with is that creating personality disorders to label bad people is what's wrong, but I really would appreciate your response.
hey! thank you so much for sending in a question. and thank you to the 5 folks who helped out by adding their input during the making of this post. let’s break this down together!
when someone says "narcissistic abuse isn't real," it's the part in reference to NPD that matters. when we rush to automatically equate a diagnosis with abusive behavior, in many ways, we are leaning into sanism and eugenics, often the very same biologically-dependent attitudes that criminalize people of color. the abuse you faced was real and i don't think anyone should be allowed to erase those experiences for you! continuing, personality can and does influence behavior. all of these things can be true while also accepting that having NPD does not automatically make someone abusive or somehow more prone to abusive behaviors, even if that was only implied.
why though? for one, because saying the opposite absolve us of our power as well! as humans, we are all capable of harm, of hurting people, even in egregious ways. this was something i personally struggled with literally up until a couple months ago when i hurt someone i really loved. i wanted to be a good person so badly, and those around me knew how much good i was capable of spreading, so certain actions continued to slide. the reality is that i'm not just good or just bad, but human! i'm capable of hurting other people, and that's so scary to me, but it's the truth. and that's the same for everyone else. as some of our friends in BFP even said just now (not sharing their names for privacy purposes), no one (i hope) walks around saying "depressive abuse" or "PTSD abuse" even though people with these disorders are equally capable of perpetuating harm, like anyone else. cluster B disorders are constantly demonized when in reality, you and i could have both been abused by a "regular" person just the same. erasing our capability to harm not only makes it harder to hold one another accountable in the future (why should i get help or change my behavior when it's due to my disorder?), but equally pushes forth a narrative that the DSM (the book used to diagnose people) is law. what do i mean by that though?
in mad studies, we acknowledge that the DSM, rather than having distinct diagnoses with quantifiable, empirical symptoms like literally any other field of science, groups together pre-existing symptoms that tend to appear together and labels them. the diagnoses we receive are better to be thought as shorthand for clusters of commonly comorbid behaviors. and what of these symptoms? who gets to decide what irregular behavior looks like? who are we comparing Mad individuals to? who represents the norm, the "regular" i mentioned earlier? psychiatry and psychology are extremely biased, my favorite examples of which are drapetomania (a "mental illness" meant to explain why enslaved Africans kept running away from plantations), The Protest Psychosis: How Schizophrenia Became a Black Disease by Jonathan Metzl, hysteria, and prolonged grief disorder. none of this is to say that diagnoses can't be helpful or that your experiences aren't real, but to be wary of the subjectivity, biases, hierarchies, and abuse intrinsic to the field.
because of everything i just said, i feel uncomfortable setting clear delineations for what NPD is and isn't, so i'll leave that part up to a volunteer of ours actually with this diagnosis:
firstly, at our cores we are very insecure about ourselves. we put on a façade of grandiosity to feel better about ourselves and to avoid showing people our insecurities. most of us were hurt by people close to us when we were children, most commonly caretakers, and we do our best to avoid showing this insecurity and hurt. secondly, our self esteem tends to be reliant on the opinions of others. we depend on approval from other people to feel good about ourselves, because we're so insecure. NPD is also characterized by delusions of grandiosity, which is the most stereotypical feature of the disorder. but there's more than just grandiosity. we also experience what's called a "narc crash" (or just a "crash"), which typically happens after a grandiose high. these crashes involve feelings of intense shame, self hatred, etc. the other thing i would include in a definition of NPD is the fantasies, because we hate ourselves so much we are often preoccupied with fantasies of power, success, and fame to help us feel better about ourselves. in short, NPD is defined by extreme insecurity masked by delusions of grandeur, which are followed by crashes. it is also defined by dependence on others for validation since we cannot validate ourselves. a lot of people assume that we just have inflated egos and love ourselves so much, but it's all a façade to hide our extreme insecurity and lack of self worth.
TLDR: 1) the phrase "narcissistic abuse isn’t real" does not erase any abuse you faced by someone who may have had NPD but rather recognizes that the implication of all people with NPD or Cluster B disorders being abusive is not only harmful to everyone but bleeds into eugenics. 2) it's important to be wary of how we deify the DSM and the diagnoses it provides, as it perpetuates the active dehumanization of people who don't meet a certain standard. a standard set by whom? 3) NPD is characterized by extreme insecurity and dependence on others for validation, followed by crashes due to delusions of grandeur clashing with reality.
if you have any more questions, please keep sending them in to @bfpnola! for more on mad studies, here’s our study guide for beginners.
-- reaux (she/they)
#reaux answers#npd#mad liberation#Narcissistic personality disorder#narcissistic abuse#tw abuse mention#bipoc
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DCA Info Part 26: Meet Ella Glaciel 👠
Ella Glaciel (エラ・グラシエル, Era Gurashieru) is the dorm leader of Glastanzerin. Ella loves fashion as much as she loves her father, but she can be a bit sensitive and naive.
History
Ella was born and raised in the Glasswork Kingdom into the Glaciel Family, a family of fashion designers. Although, each family member focuses on a certain fashion item or style which is why they are sought after. The entire family makes up the ensemble which puts out some really unique sets. The Glaciel Family even have their own brand called "Midnight Mirror" (ミッドナイト・ミラー).
Ella is the daughter of Gaspard Antoine Glaciel, a gentlemanly shoemaker and his late wife, Emelette Glaciel, a jeweler who loved her daughter dearly. From a very young age, Ella was praised for her talent in fashion. Ella often accompanied her parents to events and often tried to mimic their fashion styles. Many loved it when the whole family went to events together, they looked like a doll set.
However, Ella's life took a turn for the worst after Emelette's death. Her father remarried Lucille Luciferia, a cruel and vain woman who married Gaspard to enhance her social status and she even went so far as too wear the jewelry Emelette made and showing them off as if it belonged to her. Luciferia was known to be an educator, so Gaspard allowed her to educate Ella, unaware at first how biased and harsh she'd be on his daughter. She would physically, emotionally and verbally abuse Ella, going so far as to strike her from behind her legs if she got a small thing wrong, the constant assaults resulted in numerous bruises and scars being left on Ella's legs. Her step-brothers, Edwin and Roman were a rowdy bunch that always harassed Ella. Messing about in her room and making a mess of everything. This made Ella afraid to tell her father of Luciferia's abusive nature, believing that because she was still a child, he wouldn't believe her.
Gaspard eventually discovered Luciferia's true nature when he noticed that Ella was walking as if she was in pain and how she would distance herself from her family during events. A maid spoke up and revealed everything to Gaspard when he returned from a long business trip. Horrified and ashamed of himself for marrying a cruel woman and allowing her to hurt his family, Gaspard filed for divorce and a restraining order, which was added when he asked Ella and she broke down in tears, telling him all the lies that Luciferia implanted in her young mind. That was the last straw so he demanded that not one of the Glaciel family's possessions such as jewels be in her possession and ever since then, Luciferia remained a disgraced woman.
Following the incident, Gaspard became more attentive to his daughter, feeling guilty for not being there for her when she needed someone most. While he remains kind and polite, he becomes distant when a woman tries to get closer to him, though that just made him even more attractive to the bachelorettes unfortunately for him. It was when Ella turned 15 that her father opened his heart to another woman. Claudette Darlington was Ella's second stepmother. While Ella significantly recovered from the incident with Luciferia, she still has trust issues and keeps her distance. While she knows that Claudette was nice and meant no harm, the incident with Luciferia permanently damaged her, Claudette still hopes that she and Ella could bond properly as mother and daughter.
Personality
Ella is described by her peers as sensitive, sweet and naive. It's safe to assume she became a sensitive girl due to her abusive relationship with Luciferia. Despite this negative relationship, Ella remains a kind hearted young lady, always willing to assist others.
While Ella has a love for fashion, she can be rather critical about people's fashion choices and even gets excited about pampering someone up for an event.
Appearance
Ella is a young girl of average height in her mid-teens. She has fair skin, blue eyes, and shoulder-length dusty pink hair. Her hair is in the style of a bob cut with blunt bangs and a waterfall braid in the back.
2020 School Uniform
Like with the others, Ella's uniform is modified to her taste. She originally wore a long sleeved light blue coat with purple gem buttons and light yellow ruffle cuffs, which are folded to reveal the light blue parts and have blue bows on them. She wears her coat over an off white almost light yellow ruffle blouse, which has a high neck ruffle collar and jabot. The jabot is the same light yellow color as the blouse and is held by a deep sky blue neckerchief with rounded arches and gold trim, with the tied portion of the neckerchief having her brooch on it. The brooch is gold with a white gem that resembles a pearl or opal jewel. For the bottom half of her uniform, Ella wears a box pleated skirt with an argyle pattern of various shades of cerulean, sapphire and blue-green with a baby blue satin ribbon wrapped around it, with the right side of the ribbon even including a bow with a gold pumpkin carriage charm on it. The skirt is worn over a light yellow petticoat. For footwear, Ella wears a pair of light pale blue kitten heels with gold soles, cerulean straps with bows of the same color on them and cerulean rounded fabric with yellow heart charms on the heels topline. The shoes also appear to have a prism like shine to them.
Ella accessorizes with a gold tiara with a rounded lower band with swirls above it and a white circular gem in the center, serving as the top ornament. She also accessorizes with a sky blue hair bow, which is at the back of her hair.
2021 School Uniform
Ella's 2021 school uniform remains entirely the same as the original with two minor changes, the purple gem buttons on her coat are now navy blue in color and the bow on her skirt now has pale yellow lace underneath. Likely the most significant change is the inclusion of white leggings to hide the faint bruises that Luciferia inflicted on her.
Dorm Uniform
For her dorm uniform, Ella wears a dress with a light blue strapless bodice with the center part being cornflower with royal blue patterning that resembles butterflies. The center part also has two dark blue ribbons in the shape of Xs and bows in the center of both Xs. The top of the bodice has pale yellow ruffles obscuring the neckline, with her brooch in the center. She also wears arm warmers that fade from light blue to white with pale yellow ruffle cuffs, with the end cuffs having gold trimming and are held with gold bracelets with white flowers on them. She also wears a gold belt with oval designs. The bottom of the dress contains multiple layers, with the first one being an ombré light blue bustle with white flowers at the tips, the second one is an ombré blue skirt with a high low hemline, the third is a rounded upside down arch skirt with a gold upside down arch outline with the same high low hemline as before and this layer is cornflower in color with a royal blue butterfly like pattern, and the fourth and final layer is simply a pale yellow upside down rounded arch skirt with the same high low hemline as the previous layers. For footwear, Ella wears shoes that are similar to the ones she wears in her school uniform, with the exception being that they are a shiny light pale blue with the topline having a gold outline and gold hearts of the same color. The shoes also have straps made from two gold bead strains.
Ella accessorizes with the same crown from her school uniform but with an additional gold beaded collar.
Solo Stage Uniform
For vocal performances, Ella dawns a pale blue jacket with blue and white ruffle sleeves and a golden outline, with the lapel even having lace trimming. The jacket is worn over a blue dress with a semi spread collar with gold outline and an ivory vest with the same gold outlining as before. The skirt of the dress is made up of three ruffle layers, with the the first layer being the same shade of blue as the top with fancy patterning, the second layer is a solid ivory in color and the third and final layer is pale blue in color. For footwear, she wears golden kitten heels, with the counter having a swirl on it and blue ribbon straps. She additionally wears grayish periwinkle leggings.
Ella accessorizes with a three pointed gold tiara with swirl designs and white oval gems. The tiara appears attached to a white heart shaped gem with three gold pearls at the end and is attached to a blue ribbon. Her brooch is below the neck collar but above the vest. Ella also wears wrist gloves with rounded arch cuffs and a white sash with a lilac flower on it, blue and white ribbon with gold outlines and the center white ribbon as a dark blue upside down heart with the glass slipper in the center.
Floral Lullaby Outfit
Handmade by Ella herself, this outfit consists of a mostly pink dress. The dress' consists of a semi-sweetheart bodice with the chest part being a solid pale yellow while the lower half is mostly pink, with center being magenta in color and a lighter shade of pink on both sides being divided by gold detailing, both the magenta and light pink parts have fancy patterning on them. The bodice also has light pink and yellow puff sleeves with pink lace cuffs. At the waist, she wears a violet belt with light yellow ribbon. The skirt is made of two layers of pink and lilac satin fabric, with the pink layer having a pale yellow petticoat. The skirt could be counted as a three layer skirt of you count the top layer, which is a continuation of the bodice piece with a rounded arch hem and lace trim. For footwear, Ella wears gold heeled Mary Jane shoes with bows on the straps. She also wears pink socks with magenta anklets.
Ella accessorizes with a magenta bow headpiece with a blue, yellow and pink rose in the center and are above what appears to be an upside down hand fan which is an ombré lilac in color with magenta trimming and lace hem. Ella also wears a heart shaped gold brooch with a red gem on her bodice and it is attracted to a pale yellow bow with the same detailing that resembles the upside down fan from the headpiece. Additionally, she wears pale yellow wrist bands with bows attached of a similar color, with the wristband having various pink, yellow and blue roses attached. Ella lastly wears a pair of lilac gloves with pale yellow pearl bracelets.
School Statistics
Ella is a 17 year old 2nd year student. She is classified as Student #12 and is in Class 2-C. She is a member of the Horse Grooming Club and her best subjects are Basic Etiquette and Needlework and Jewelry, with the latter being her favorite school subject because it ties in with her family's business. Her least favorite school subject is Ancient Rune Reading because she mixes up runes sometimes.
For her idol performances, Ella has a soft voice that is suited for cute and classical songs. She can't do loud vocals for rock songs since her voice was not made for it.
For her choreography, Ella has plenty of cute dance moves to go with her singing, she loves to skip and make cute poses on stage.
Relationships
Family
Ella has a good relationship with her father and late mother. She loves her father dearly and her mother even made her a bluebird jewelry set as a gift prior to her passing. Her father always hoped that she would wear it when she came of age.
Ella's relationship with her first stepmother and stepbrothers was a traumatic experience for her, as Luciferia would abuse Ella constantly and would even physically harm her if she disobeyed her. Edwin would scare Ella and pull malicious pranks on her while Roman would verbally abuse Ella to avoid Edwin's harassment.
Years after divorcing Luciferia, Gaspard remarried again around the time Ella reached adolescence, this time to a woman named Claudette Darlington. While Darlington isn't abusive towards Ella, the latter still has trust issues and keeps her distance. However, this doesn't mean that Ella doesn't want to get to know her better and Darlington hopes that she and Ella can one day bond properly as mother and daughter.
Pets
Ella has five pet mice that are all round and a bit chubby. They're always in her pockets, she always sews a pocket on her clothes for her mice. Her mice are named, Mozza, Gouda, Brie, Pecorin, and Parmes. All of them are named after different types of cheese because she found them in her pantry eating a block of cheese.
Fellow Students
Ella is the resident sweetheart of DCA, she is just so sweet that students can't help but take a liking to her.
Evonie is her closest school companion and best friend. Ella recalled seeing her when the Glaciel Family came to visit the Town of Orchard Fields.
Briar is like the image of a fairytale to Ella. But she can't help but feel there was a sense of sorrow to her gaze.
Ella is a fan of Cerule since she's never met a mermaid before. Cerule herself thinks she's as cute as a sea angel.
Ella admires the food that Perrine and Allison make but she can't help but be pranked into thinking those cakes were objects by Allison all the time. She's also known to criticize the latter's fashion sense.
Night Raven College Students
Ella and Vil are close mutuals due to their interest in fashion. In public they looked sophisticated and elegant but as soon as a slumber party was set up Ella listens to him rant about Leona and Epel and probably many other things while doing each other's nails and combing each other's hair.
When she first met Epel, Ella initially called him cute but when he voiced how he didn't like that, she apologized profusely. Ella offered anything to make up for the rude thing she did and he requested her to make a cool leather jacket like the one from Savanaclaw. Ella accepted the request and Epel made sure that Vil doesn't see it otherwise he'd have asked her to make adjustments. After that misunderstanding, they get along as friendly acquaintances because Ella has similar interests to Vil there wasn't much in common, but due to Ella's sensitive nature, he'd have a chance to be a knight in shining armor because he's a rough country boy.
Ella is very casual with Rook with a bit of shyness at first, she might have had a small crush on him because he looked like a prince charming to her. He certainly would want to test the fashion skills of a Glaciel so he's made it a game where he would wear a different perfume everytime and have Ella guess what perfume he wore that day. One time, he wore a cheap brand just to test her and she had this disappointed look on her face and asked if he got scammed. Rook laughed it off and said that it was on purpose to test her then proceeded to use a better perfume to get rid of the old smell.
Since Silver is always tired, this is a chance for her to advertise to him a new suit she's making. A pull on the string and it inflates into a comfty sleeping bag. Ella would just admire him because he looks so ethereal with his silver hair, but when she finds out about his sleeping habits she'll take the opportunity to make sure his clothes don't get dirty from sleeping on the ground.
Ella is nervous of Malleus but she does admire his majestic aura. She wants to design clothes that'll make his horns stand out but she can't bring herself to since he's royalty as well as one of the most powerful mages there is. But she does have her sketchbook filled with designs for him.
Night Raven College Staff
Ella met Divus Crewel when she was a child. When Ella was trying to advertise her father's shoes, Crewel was the first person she advertised them to and Crewel found her to be adorable.
Romance
While Ella is a romantic at heart, she needs someone who can shield her from people who give her a hard time but also to help her be more assertive.
Powers and Abilities
• Magic: Much like her fellow students, Ella can use magic.
• Sewing: Due to being taught the ways of fashion at a young age, Ella greatly excels at sewing and even has a special talent for quick stitching.
• Dancing: Ella is stated to be good at dancing as well as being a dance partner. She is able to adapt and guide the person if they are nervous or a bit clumsy.
• Material Alchemy: Ella can make use of almost any material needed to make her dresses, thanks to her talents in material alchemy.
• Speed: Ella's speed is stated to be equivalent to that of a mouse that no one can catch up to her.
Unique Magic
Ella's unique magic is called "Glacify" (玻璃の靴の舞踊/グレイシファイ, Gureishifai; lit. "Dance of the Glass Shoes"). She can make anything shine like polished glass but it lasts until 12 o′clock am and pm.
Voice
According to her bio, Ella's Japanese voice actress would be Sumire Morohoshi, known for her roles as Kyōka Izumi in Bungo Stray Dogs, Nina Tucker in Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood and Hinami Fueguchi in Tokyo Ghoul.
Trivia
• Her birthday is on September 6th, making her a Virgo.
• She is 165 cm tall.
• Her favorite food is Cheese Platter while her least favorite food is Fish. She dislikes having to do too many chores.
• She enjoys sewing.
• Her preferred Styling Jewel Outfit Styles are Classical and Cute.
• For her casual attire, Ella would mostly wear pastel colored frilly dresses with flats.
• Her favorite color is pastel pink.
• She is dubbed "Little Jellyfish" (クラゲちゃん, Kurage-chan) by Floyd due to her love of fashion. She shares this nickname with Silver.
• She likes making clothes and watching fashion runways.
• Ella’s Overblot would likely occur when Luciferia is incredibly desperate for revenge against the Glaciel family that she steals Ella’s most prized possession, the blue bird jewelry set from her late mother and ruins or destroys it in front of her.
• In the future, Ella would be a fashion designer since she’s the heiress of the Glaciel Family business.
• Ella favors desserts with edible flowers but also likes small cakes.
• Ella would smell like tea scents.
• Her signature scent would be expensive but not strong cologne, maybe uses mint or lavender.
• Ella’s worst fear is having to face her former stepfamily again. She may have gotten over what happened in the past just by a bit but she can’t exactly be brave and confront her abusers.
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I don't know if Anon wanted, or expected, a detailed response and I wasn't sure it'd be the right thing to do but I got it drafted, so I might as well post it. I'm aware that my responses might look like self defence, deflecting and discrediting the accusations, but my intention is really just to explain my line of thought and provide some context.
None of this criticism is unfair, and I will take it into consideration. It's not fun to be criticised like this, but I do appreciate it (and if you want to dismiss that as "empty words", I won't stop you).
Maybe it's time for another shift in content, a new rule to avoid drama and try something else?
[NOTE: using small font to take up less space, in case you'd rather just scroll past it]
Hello there, Fish. I am going to make myself as short as I possibly can, because whenever I see unfairness, I speak up. (my note: me too, that's sort of the point of this blog) You made a post a few days ago saying that you deleted a post because it was aimed towards a specific person and that it could cause issues, so why are you continuing to do the exact same thing to others?
The post I deleted was unfair to begin with, and it criticised a personal choice (that affected no one, except upsetting one or two users) rather than the person's leadership and actions of authority. I also did not agree with the anon, but I make a practise of posting anons regardless of whether I agree with them or not and that is probably where I was careless and failed to consider the implications of that post in particular.
For example, don't you think that what have been written about the people of WoOFR has been hurtful to them? What makes it okay to literally target these people so very specifically and, in my opinion, in a very cruel way but not okay to target someone else? Some posts are not even about these people's positions or whatever, but literally about their personas. No, this does not have anything to do with WoOFR to begin with, but it was just taken as an example. Scrolling down on behindthewox, you can see this sort of behaviour repeatedly.
The posts about WoO FR are a very different thing. It's several individuals, seemingly independent of each other, sharing the same concerns and expressing that it is causing harm to the site users at large. Not only that, one of the claims could be a legal issue and even if it's not, it's still a very valid concern as users could come to harm. Assuming that the Mugs only communicate with the site leaders (I get the impression that's the rule) there are only so many ways to bring issues like this to their attention. Unless you know the Mug personally and can contact them directly, an anon submission to a public forum is probably your best option. I'm not the one who set up the system that way. I only provide (and moderate) the public forum that was missing. Yes, all of this could've been avoided if only there had been a forum to anonymously share your concerns without worrying about consequences, and knowing that your submissions will be read, taken seriously and acted upon.
It doesn't sit right with me at all. If you decide to censor certain content to "protect" or "help" others, why not do that to everyone? These are all people with feelings, insecurities and (probably) a lot of stress because of what is being written about them on the internet. Are person A's feelings more important than person B's?
Hi. I am a human: flawed, biased and imperfect. I try to be neutral and fair but sometimes I'm not, because I have opinions of my own. Sometimes I'm not, because I don't always give myself enough time to mull things over, analyse the situation and weigh my words and options carefully. I do that on purpose, though, it's all part of me picking a fight with my perfectionism and rejection sensitivity. It makes a mess (sorry) but it's good practise.
Is this the community we really want to be? I always thought World of X was about finding an escape from your real life for a bit. A way to make friends, do fun homework, solve riddles and anagrams, and do what we all love the most which is to create characters and live their lives for a moment instead of our own. That is not what WoX has become.
I agree, WoX should be an escape from reality. But even so, where there are people involved there will inevitably be social issues and where there is a power structure or hierarchy there will be social issues connected to that. If handled correctly, the site should still be a positive place to escape from reality. But if it's not handled well, if there is abuse and conflict, there will be issues. Some site leaders are good at handling it, but being good at handling human flaws is not a requirement for being a site leader and as far as I'm aware, it's not something that is taught to site leaders either which leaves some of them unprepared to face the social aspects of leadership. Unprepared and likely to mess up, with a risk of making things worse and sometimes even escalating the situation.
I understand giving criticism, but this is not it. By doing it this way, it sets a negative tone to the word "criticism" and will only make it harder to deliver such feedback in the future, because this can literally traumatise people. Yes, this is the internet. We can hide behind being anons (yes, like I do right now). But the things that are being written is being written about someone who is, in the end, a real person. Not a character. Not something built from imagination. A real person.
Being called out for your mishandling of situations and lacking leadership is personal, but it also comes with the job of being a leader. If you don't meet the users' expectations and fail them repeatedly, you will be criticised for it. Whether site leaders are aware of it or not, they ultimately signed up for it.
I really, really hope none of the leaders follows this blog. Kudos to everyone who manages a site. I would never in a million years even consider doing so, and one of the many reasons for that is because of the disgusting environment that WoX is being poisoned with, and the way people decide to deal with their drama.
//
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man i just cant get over how fuckin distracting the idea of morality is in terms of actually like, trying to create a more ethical status quo. People get so caught up in worrying about whether they're a good person, whether people think they're being good enough, who's good and who's bad, and like, man, fuck!!! Who gives a shit what the fuckin' score is!!! There is so much problems in the world and if we waste all our time trying to figure out all the ~hidden signs~ and ~tells~ of who's predisposed to evil, we're never gonna get around to actually doing anything about the actual evil being committed every day on a systemic level.
If someone hasn't actually hurt someone, lay the fuck off the accusations. If you really want to garner a culture that prevents harm rather than simply reacting to it, you need to make causing harm something that can be recovered from. It can't be fucking shameful, because then people hide it. People will avoid pain, so threats of punishment aren't fucking useful. And if you believe doing The Bad Things will get you a world of hurt, then you're gonna get defensive if someone tries to approach you about your own harmful habits!!
I've seen it so many fuckin times, dude, it's insane. Someone will try to be like "hey, you could do this better" or "hey, the way you x hurts me" and instead of like, having a conversation, that person will get up in arms about how they weren't ~being bad.~ Whether it's trying to avoid blame or minimize how bad people think it is, the end result is that nothing actually gets dealt with because people are too busy trying to avoid being seen as a fuckin' sinner.
Who gives a fuck about being a good person? What does "good personhood" actually do? Best I can tell, it's just this label people get to have that says "Don't come after me, your target is someone else." Because if you ask anyone, being a Good Person is about your actions. So... why not just look at those? Ditch the shorthand that flattens everything, and risk the fucking nuance. If you don't have to worry about maintaining your status as a "good person," then suddenly it stops being so scary to scrutinize the ways in which you can actually improve.
And it's not even like you can just, like, get rid of all "bad people" and solve harm forever. If your solution to the ills of humanity can be boiled down to "if we just point a big enough gun at anyone who Breaks The Good Person Rules, no one will want to break them!" then, sorry to break it to you, but you're a fascist, no matter what values you purport to be championing. You still intend to use force to enforce them, and by enshrining those values as The Good Ones, you blind yourself to your own biases and flaws. You loose sight of the fact that you still have to aim that gun. Best not miss, or you'll take out an innocent- that's bad, right? Hope your aim's perfect- and everyone after you, too.
There's always gonna be pain. Always gonna be conflict. There's just too fuckin' many people out there to force the world to homogenize under a set of values that no one deviates from. So you need to be flexible, and you need to let good and bad exist side by side as shades of gray. You need to think of harm reduction not as a destination you reach by restricting the agency People Who Will Do Harm, but as a complex network of social safety nets that ensure that people who wind up in danger have multiple avenues with which to protect themselves or escape that danger, and ensure that the ones who cause that danger have ways to get help.
The world is more complicated than a binary of who's an abuser and who's a victim. People are more complicated than simple predisposition to hurting others. There will never be a set of values so all-encompassing as to ensure no one ever gets hurt if they're strictly adhered to, and there will never be a person on earth so perfect they never fuck up practicing those values. So you gotta fuckin adapt, man.
No more heroes and villains. No more good and bad people. you're more than that, I'm more than that. There's no shortcuts to heaven, no tickets to hell. You just gotta do the best you can with what you have, and course correct as you learn more stuff. What matters is the impact of our actions- they land how they land and we deal with it after. Quit botherin' with what it means and lets just work with what it is, we'll work towards that intent on the way, yeah?
#problemnyatic rambles#problemnyatic rants#I know I made this exact post with different words earlier. im still mad abt this#Who gives a fuck when and how bad you fucked up??? Are you trying to get better?? Are you genuinely willing to change and improve??#The past is in the past and what happened then is important to what we do now but we cant fuckin change what happened#only what we're gonna do next#We gotta fuckin let people have a next time to do better with#We gotta give them a real-ass chance to actually do better too#And we gotta make sure that people know what they gotta know to not get hurt in the process.#but fuck sake if our only answer to some shit going fuckways is to erase someone off the face of the earth we're never gonna get anywhere#Is there an actual plan for like. the future??? here??? or are we just gonna violence everyone who allegedly violates The Values into dust?#Who the fuck is gonna be left??? i'm sick of this shit man. I just wanna play toys
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Dumping a bunch of my thoughts on TiPo.
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Tigress is the only one out of the five to look at Po when addressing him as "Master." She's been doing it since the end of the first movie.
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Tigress, the most disciplined, going "Do it" at Po, challenging him to go for 40 bean buns in KFP 2 is one of the best scenes. Like she says it so seriously but its so stupid (/affectionate). I love Tigress so much. 🥺❤
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LoA doesn't make sense taking place after KFP 2. (It aired the year after the movie did.) Just on a few episodes, LoA seems to take place before KFP 2, just by looking at how Tigress and Po act and treat one another. Po is having a huge ego problem with the title of Dragon Warrior and Tigress just looks like she wants him dead. Though there was that one ad for KFP 3 in a collaboration with Wix where she chases him down after he practically sits on top of her back, forcing her to carry him.
The episode "Chain Reaction," to me, seems to be the perfect episode to start the ball rolling with Po and Tigress' relationship in terms of being friends. Idk about you guys, but it just doesn't seem likely that they were automatically good buddies between KFP and KFP 2. When I say they don't get along often in LoA, I genuinely mean that most of the time, they don't when it doesn't come to fighting. But even, it's not as synonymous as it was in KFP 2.
The reason why I think "Chain Reaction" is the episode is purely because of their interactions. Imagine you're stuck with someone that have begun to respect but you're still weary about them. You don't necessarily like them but you really don't want to admit you dislike them, or you at least try to. In this episode, during the fireplace scene, Po asks Tigress about the whole Dragon Warrior situation. Tigress doesn't want to admit that she's upset but seconds later, she does when Po throws away a potential solution, the wooden key she was carving, to their problem, the chain the Croc Bandits placed on them at the beginning of the episode. (Yes, the trope where two characters are chained together. <3)
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As much as I ship them, I see them as simply friends in KFP 1 - 3. There could be some romance developing in the 3rd one, but I just see them as friends in the 2nd one. Tigress is just opening up about herself to someone she sees as a friend, not as a potential love interest. And Po just comes off as someone who still looks up to Tigress, the person who made him fall in love with kung fu. (Though I might be being biased because I've come to dislike the "love at first sight" trope.) It is possible but I don't see it like that.
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Tigress just screaming out for Po in KFP 2 will always hurt. The agony, the desperation, the tiny glimmer of hope that she could've lessened the damage Po took just being taken away. Gone like blowing out a lit candle. It hurts just as a bad as Tigress looking at Po in KFP 3 in that same agony but with fear. I've mentioned it before but Lei Lei crying just makes it hurt even more.
Think about it. You were supposed to stop the villian. You're the answer to the problem yet you failed because of one small mistake. Your best friend, the one you've had a strong relationship with, the one who's always focused and never lost, is now lost. She's confused and scared. Now what?
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I love that these two have their own way of communicating. Often times, they communicate through sparring, especially in the movies. (In the series, I'm not entirely sure.) It's not them fighting and harming one another, its communication (to them.)
When Po was questioning Tigress about her training at the beginning of KFP 2, they were sparring.
When Po wouldn't listen to Tigress, they were sparring with Tigress wanting Po to understand that she has the upperhand/lead and he needs to listen. Not only that, but to show that he can't go out there distracted.
The exact same thing happens in KFP 3, when Po trains to beat Kai after finding out his biological father, Li Shan, lied to him about chi. They both express that "yes, it will work," "no, it won't work." A back-and-forth, a conversation happening both verbally and physically.
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In KFP 2, in the boat scene where Po and Tigress were sparring, Tigress says that she can't feel anything in her hands. Yet, after the canon was fired and Po finds her on a floating chunk of wood, Po touches her hand and she moves. Did she mean that she doesn't feel anything at all or that she doesn't feel pain?
I'm pretty sure its the latter. It just makes more sense. But then there's KFP 3, where she punches one of the Jombies and reels her hand back, shaking it. Was that pain or overwhelming force? She didn't look to be in pain, from the looks of things.
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Speaking of the scene where Po swims to Tigress, Po seemed to be pretty upset, shown more when he glared at Shen. The sorrow, the solem expression he had, the way he said Tigress' name (ESPECIALLY the Latin American dub), the way he approached her seems like he was in deep thought about how loyal Tigress had been to him ever sense they left for Gongmen City. She went out of her way to protect him, keep an eye on him, just like she had promised Mr. Ping. Even in situations where the result was not preventable, such as Shen firing the canon. She pushed Po out of the way, yet he was hit, along with everyone else.
#muxse's random thoughts#kfp#kfp po#kfp tigress#kfp tipo#an actual rambling post#like none of this makes sense but also does#that's my writing in a nutshell sorry-#china teapots
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I often have a hard time with intrusive thoughts, and have for the most part learnt to deal with them or at the very least talk myself out of an episode that's been caused by them. Recently though I've been really struggling when it comes to the queer community and I've been horrified that I may be secretly transphobic or that I'll unintentionally hurt someone by misgendering them.
I've been on tiktok the past couple weeks and I've seen a lot of discourse about people that are trans or gender fluid or trans masculine and there was a video that said "When she says she thinks I'm a real boy (update, she did not)" and in the comments somebody had said "do they actually see me as a boy or have they just memorized my pronouns".
And since then I've had this fear that what if I'm like that? What if I meet a man who underwent transition and in my head I still sort of see them as a female even though they're a man? Or what if I meet a woman and vice versa? I'm not a transphobic person, I don't want to be and honestly don't feel that I am. But day after day it's been just thought after thought "what if I'm secretly transphobic? What if I'm fetishizing people that are trans? What if I misgender someone? What if me being inexperienced in dating makes me a horrible partner or friend because I wouldn't get it?"
I know in my heart that trans men are just men and trans women are just women, there's no other way to slice it but then I start thinking and then I feel like I wanna die because what if it's a lie? What if I'm just secretly this queerphobic transphobic person and all it takes is something to happen and then everyone will know? But the thing is I'm not! I know for a fact I'm not! I hate my brain
Hi anon,
It sounds like consuming this content has led to some kind of impostor syndrome where you worry about being transphobic. There's a stark difference between accidentally hurting someone (a genuine mistake) and hurting them on purpose, and I imagine you would know which you would be in any given circumstance. I think as soon as some attention is paid to the grey area, it's easy to overthink and worry about the impact of our actions regardless of our intentions. And while it's great to be mindful of how we may hurt others even on accident, there's only so much guilt to carry over a genuine mistake.
We all have implicit biases. We all have thoughts that sometimes conflict with our values and beliefs, and just because we have these thoughts don't inherently make us bigoted or harmful. It's about what thoughts we choose to act upon and manifest into physical reality - that's all that matters.
To answer your other questions more directly, fetishizing trans people is something you'd probably be quite aware of if it did apply to you. If you misgender someone on accident then you correct yourself and carry on. If you have concerns about dating a transgender person, being in an open and caring relationship with them is the best way to work through any discomfort or uncertainty. The only solution to being inexperienced with dating is to try dating more.
If anyone has any comments or suggestions, feel free to add on. Otherwise, I hope I could help and please let us know if you need anything.
-Bun
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What is the difference between Leo Manfred and Gavin Reed in your opinion? Like, why do you think Leo is worthy of redemption and not Gavin?
I don't like Gavin, and I didn't like Leo either, but your posts are making me think
in retrospect, i guess 'redeemable' wasnt the right word and im sorry for using it, since technically, as far as canon is concerned, we never see concrete proof he truly sees androids as equals, much less regrets any harm done by his own hands and words. right now i think the word i could use would be "sympathetic", since what we CAN do is walk through his backstory, and connect the dots from his life to his current thinking, even if it doesn't necessarily excuse his actions, far from even. by now im gonna be talking from an utterly biased perspective so its not quite set in stone, im prone to fucking up what is or isnt canon or weighing in personal judgement from My preferences, so just a heads up, but going a little more into it:
like, putting yourself in his shoes, he was a child of a fling, and his rich father although comfortable enough to openly claim him, did not bother to visit him personally until he was a teenager, an already difficult phase for the average person, only to be met with scorn because by this time in his life, he found solace in the wrong crowd and vices. and from this point on trying to get closer to his father is useless because of something so difficult to change in yourself.
and then, once disabled, Carl gets a machine to help him around, which is normal at this point in time. but, as the game makes it seem at least, carls whole behaviour changes gradually, because he talks to markus, and this angry (at least as far as Leo is aware), pessimistic old man is caught smiling, because of this machine. he chats with it. and now, hes walking into his father guiding this thing into his fathers very passion. this, as far as Leo is concerned, common object, a household facility like a toaster, is getting lessoned proudly by his father, who loses all the shine in his eyes once he walks in, goes back to his sarcastic, bitter old tone, and will grow aggressive if you even speak ill of the thing. and, later on, Carl talks about his own son as if he's not there in the room, ordering around his toaster to deal with you as if to not get his hands dirty. dirty with You being in his way. his own blood.
now, again, does this excuse his behavior? nope. even in the belief that Markus is truly an unfeeling object, at the very last moment before Markus is forced to decide between obeying or not, he starts referring towards Markus as something that could be physically hurt, and emotionally provoked. where previously his mockery of Markus felt more about provoking his father, not addressing Markus directly, the time he decides to pick a fight with Markus he's talking TO him. hes speaking as if this theoretically unfeeling being could either fear or be angry at him (which turns out, he can), but its difficult to tell if hes under some sort of influence or not, or if this egging on is still in part more to dash back his frustrations at Carl in a less direct manner. his love for the old man stops him from wanting to lay a hand on him, but he knows with how clear the guy makes it he cares for this android, how he yells, itll still inflict Something to tear this thing apart.
now, i may be wrong here, and im real sorry if i sound like a douche for it, but i dont personally consider too much the actors headcanons as full canon, and Gavins background according to the game is really uh... unclear? i can understand how people get to the conclusion his workplace ambition is what makes him hate androids, hell do Anything to get to the top, but a lot of what people attribute as being the motivation behind it i find kinda... idk, circumstancial? im not saying improbable, but my post was more about how people latched on to him when theres way less explanation and even content to him than Leo does? my last guess is that people plain and simple found him sexier than Leo
from My perspective, the closest we get to a Leo redemption is if Carl dies, and he comes across Markus mourning his father as well. the first time i saw this i thought there would be a fight, that he would scream and yell that it was all Markus' fault, even when he knows it wasnt, how dare this fucking thing even show itself in a cemetary. but he just... looks on. in shock. what he deemed something slightly above a glorified toaster is there, when he shouldnt even be. the fruits of his fathers time invested in this android. in his bonding. this thing that shouldve been dismantled in a junkyard somewhere, completely useless, now overwhelming the news talking about civil rights. and this is where he gets it. this thing understands the concept of grief, its clearly feeling it. Markus looks sad. a cold and calculating machine would understand theres no point in visiting a stone with some decaying corpse underneath it, death is final. wouldnt bother making the time to visit this unremarkable place while its on the brink of raging a war. but it did. the same as he was about to do. fucked up
on an alternate where Carl survives, most of what Leo says goes more towards the favor of his father than mentioning the android. we dont know if he knows anything of what happened with Markus at all, so its hard to draw a conclusion, but the game certainly feeds some hope that after this horrible event they can mend back. he promises to do what he can to get rid of what, as far as he knows, is what truly keeps Carl from loving him. no more ugly addiction. who knows, maybe theres a chance for growth. maybe if he really wants to, Leo could give in to seeing Markus as something equal, if thats what would make his dad not hate him.
and, with Gavin... he either leaves on a corny joke, beats up Connor, or gets beaten up. which i certainly see the appeal of, but definitely doesnt scream "no longer sci-fi racist"/"only mildly, acceptably sci-fi racist" to me, but to each their own
#ask#ramble#leo#gavin#anti gavin reed#same as usual. just being safe#anti carl manfred#sorry if it makes little sense ive had to rewrite this one a couple times and i still cant make myself coherent#1 am posting no typo correcting we die like manfred men#tw drugs#tw addiction#tw death#tw neglect#SORRY ABOUT THE TWS LET ME KNOW WHAT ELSE I MISS PLEEK
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the fact bigolas dickolas is mxtxandchill is still so wild to me. like she was out there being a racist and a tone deaf asshole and now she's back with 50k followers and the whole trigun fandom is kissing her feet and no one cares and it makes me feel so 😬
like this is the person who said "children of color don't understand critical race theory, their understanding of it begins and ends with fandom discourse. they bully white people and they'll turn on their own next" which is. I don't even have words.
the person who said "uwu call me out when i say something harmful so that i can do better" but then when a trans person very politely told her "hey this tweet you made about all men being 'inherently ugly and trying to compensate for that 24/7' could be hurtful to marginalized cis men but if you don't care about them maybe consider trans men?" with "I'm not your therapist go work on your internal biases and talk to someone else about your issues" which is cruel regardless of whether you think the person was overreacting or not
the person who spoke over sea voices calling out an official artist for colorism and sexualizing nazism only to go in the same breath like "I'll still support them though because I enjoy their art <3" are you supporting calling them out on colorism and sexualizing fucking nazism or not??? regardless of anyone's stance on that discourse the hypocrisy is yikes. just say you wanted to make yourself look good and go
nowhere near as bad but as an ace person it was very irritating: the person who would joke more than once about not knowing what a character's sexuality was and that character being [other character]-sexual and when people said "hey that's demisexual!" she would ignore those specific comments and continue acting like "wow i wonder what sexuality this is lololol"
and afaik that wasn't even all (i didn't follow her and had her muted) like???
yeah the thread revealing they're the same person was weird and fucked up and the person mentioned things that were really not actual issues and i do NOT condone how they went about it, but at the end of the day here we are. bigolas is mxtxandchill who is a racist who never sincerely apologized or did anything about some of her supporters being horribly racist or showed any kind of growth. they just got suspended and remade and now they're more fandom-famous than they've ever been. fantastic
#bee rants#ugh#sorry it's just frustrating#i dislike BNFs in the first place but when they're shitty people everyone blindly worships it's even worse#i have her muted but she showed up on my fyp on priv and i snapped haha#like the time war thing was awesome UNTIL she started doing interviews and signing copies like it's her own book. wtf.#and then boom we learn she's That Person#big yikes#dont send me anon messages about this please
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Not sure how I feel about the whole Maya giving Beckett a bottle plot… The action itself is horrible, and Maya was absolutely in the wrongs for doing it. However, maybe I’m just really biased, I feel like this is a total inconsistency/disservice to Maya Bishop, the character.
Maya is a competitive person, and she’s a perfectionist without a doubt. She is relentless, and would do anything to achieve her goals. BUT, she still has a morale (or maybe she’s too proud to allow herself to do something so “low”). All her aggressive actions operate within her moral limits. The most out of line action she could take, imo, is blackmailing. Maybe because I’m projecting myself onto Maya Bishop, but I just cannot imagine even at her personal lowest point, she would go out of her way to intentionally hurt another person. She’s always been strict and harsh, but on herself- her excessive exercising and pushing Carina away to not be loved etc. Her defaults to being abused/hurt are to punish herself and run away from people who shows her love. She’s not really a revenge type of person. Also, not saying she didn’t hurt anyone with her “self-discipline” tendency, because by intentionally hurting herself, she also hurts Carina.
But if this plot wasn’t a mis-writing on the writers part, then I guess it could be seen as the writers want to use this extreme non-Maya-like-behavior to show how messed up she truly was with her mental health?! Idk, I just think Maya, regardless of her mental health conditions, would not go out committing such horrendous act to anyone, even if the person bullied her into a mental breakdown.
Maybe I’m forgetting some stories, but have we seen her actively going after/revenging anyone on the show so far? When she was captain, she was always the calm and collected one on the scene. She never lost her temper when it comes to her job, even when her father physically pulled her hair, even when male superiors questioned her authority, and even when male civilians got angry and yelled around the team etc. Granted, these all happened before her mental health completely went south… So, these might not be the most convincing examples 🤷🏻♀️
The only person we saw her losing her temper to was Carina. She can be fuming yet still composed to outsiders, but once Carina pushes, Maya bites back and fires up at her. I can believe this character trait/flaw because there has been a pattern especially now we also saw Carina indeed felt that she was pushed aside/neglected from Maya’s job. In Carina’s pov, Maya would follow rules and do anything for her job, but not for her. She felt she was treated worse for being Maya’s wife, the person Maya’s supposed to love and run to.
Anyways, the action of giving an addict (whether or not they are in recovery) the very object of their addiction with the intention to cause harm is purely evil. Do not do this.
#in case you can’t tell Maya Bishop is my problematic child#i have a soft spot for her#but i also won’t be a Maya apologist#but maybe i am?#maya bishop#station 19
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Meh i pretty sure that David is not 100%. The hints from ARG video shows that actually cared about Xander and most likely was hurt of his dead. I'm not saying that he completely innocent and what he done was right... But I'm pretty sure that there more that just "David is evil lol"
//Sure, maybe he *did* care. He cared in the sense that Xander's existence was something that could benefit him and make himself feel good, but that doesn't equate to him caring about Xander more than he cares about himself.
//This is the thing that honestly really bothers me about people who say David really does care, just because he's obviously broken up about Xander's death, and extrapolate from that that he's somehow really a good person deep down. No.
//Manipulators are incapable of selfless love. Sure, they might care in some capacity, but that care only goes as far as the conditionality will allow them. True compassion is being able to put someone else's needs above your own, which people like David are incapable of doing. They either love themselves or hate themselves more than they care about others.
//And that means you cannot fix them. The idea that they'll change their ways or improve as people if you just love them hard enough is exactly how they become a toxic parasitic influence in your life. They thrive off that mentality, because they know it's an easy way to keep you in their lives. It's textbook toxic behavior.
//Being a manipulator is not some silly quirky personality trait. It's a set of self-serving coping mechanisms designed to maximize someone's happiness or minimize their misery at best, or it's a sign they are fundamentally incapable of caring about other living beings at worst. As in they literally cannot comprehend how their actions could be seen as harmful or even bad.
//If you doubt that, I ask that you look up Social Cycle Theory or read about traits that narcissists and manipulators have. David checks so many boxes, it's honestly impressive. It's also terrifying considering how popular he was before he ended up in this game, and those rumors were circulating that he's not what he claims to be.
//None of this is me suggesting that David is a one-dimensional villain. I'm certain there's a lot of depth to his character and why he acts the way that he does, and we're bound to learn about all that. This is me taking exception to the idea that having depth somehow makes him a good person actually.
//And if it sounds like I'm biased? Well, that's what happens when you're close friends with people who've had to deal with this exact sort of situation, one from a parent and one from a partner, and who're still dealing with lasting trauma. Seeing the effects firsthand really makes it hard to sympathize with him.
//Remember, there's a fine line between just vaguely caring about someone and actually giving a shit about them.
//Also, no, David did not get Arei to change. He said some generic platitudes to make her feel better. She chose to change on her own when she saved Eden from Arturo.
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I know the other anon took the words out of context but I don't like the generalization of the statement " tae's music is not gp friendly" . I have seen this being used as a crutch by fandom to not support his music. Ex. Christmas Tree is not included in many big account streaming lists.
Yes Jazz is a specific taste, but Jazz is not all that he does. It still needs to be highlighted not dusted under the carpet. The label is responsible for the opportunities it brings the artist to promote them and that's why it's key that JK was something that happened because NA pd approached Tae because of his connection to wooga whom he extensively works with. Celine was Tae's own connection to Hedi. Don't see the label making any effort for him at all.
Also read some book spoilers of him mentioning how tough it was to be a hidden member and he felt like not being good enough. I feel horrible knowing he was made to feel that way and wonder if the label still continues to make him feel that way because of which he isn't as involved in company shit(dance challenges, tik toks and what not) or hasn't released any collab at all despite being such a music lover.
Sorry this is just me hurting being a Tae biased Army .
Hi anon!
Mm, wel you are right in that he might also pursue more popular music. And we don't know what his album is going to be like, so when I'm talking about what I expect of his promo, it's really only a possibility. It could go very different ofcourse. He could put out a diversity of genre's, with some being more mainstream and others more niche. I am very excited to see what he’s been working on, and I will most likely really like what he has made, because most of the music we’ve heard from him is to my taste. I do feel that in general, it is less mainstream than for instance Jk’s music. You can’t really control what people like though, if Tae chooses to put out a full jazz album, you can’t make fandom collectively love it. Fandom loves BTS music, and if Tae’s music strays far from that the consequence is that not all fans will like it. That doesn’t mean they won’t support him in their hearts and they will support by posting about him, but you cannot expect a fan with not much money to buy an album that is not to their taste.
I think Tae will do fine either way. I think he has a very loyal fanbase and I think his album will broaden people’s tastes in music even. He makes jazzy sounds available to fans who might not come into contact with it otherwise. That is also succes. When I talk about Tae’s music not being as go friendly I don’t mean by any means that he won’t be successful, I mean that it will be different from what we see with Jk and Jimin. I think of it more in line with rapline, who also cater to a smaller portion of audiences. No one makes a big deal of that, so why is this different?
I agree that Tae has felt hurt because of feeling different/less/weird. Them keeping him a hidden member feels cruel. I don't know if this is something that happens on a regular base in Kpop, but it makes for a member feeling very unsure of his position in a group I feel. Tae has often been called weird. While some people revel in being slightly different, other's feel it as a burden. Speaking from personal experience, percieving yuorself as different from others can often make you feel like an anomaly. I don't think like most people around me, my sense of humor is different, my understanding of the world is different, I have trouble connecting to people because of it, because I hold myself back at times. I see Tae do that too, he holds himself back. He has mastered keeping his feelings and facial reactions in check. You do that to protect yourself. And Bighit/hybe has been a part of that. They have portrayed him as a 'dumb blond' as a nice thing to look at, but without substance. And that is very harmful to a teenager who's being thrown at the world. The same goes for Jk and Namjoon too. They have also been dealt roles that weren't benifical to them, though those roles are disguised as positives. Jk's 'golden maknae' title and Namjoon's 'leader' role also put them in tough positions that I think harmed them at some points.
I think it's hard to talk about Tae's promo from the company when it's not been his time yet. I personally don't see much wrong with it, because he is doing great. And whether that is due to himself or to the company doesn't matter much, because it's the end goal that's important. Tae might've arranged it this way and the company is just happy they don't have to worry about him much. It's way less black and white than the company just not caring about him. Just because it's different doesn't mean it's bad.
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