#i dont want to do anything wrong i just want to maks thinge

[caffeinatedopossum]

I feel like I'll never be a good artist because of my aphantasia

[inconsideratekidney]

10/9/24

hey guys,

something's wrong with my computer. it can barely run all my chrome tabs anymore like it used to. it still functions i suppose, but its very slow and doesn't charge with this one charger i have--my backup charger. i bring this one around so i don't have to bring my big one. the big one that is like my only dependable charger apparently. this backup charger works on my phone and my tablet, but my laptop just won't accept it as a charger for whatever reason. it's super cool and lights up when it's plugged into a power source. it's got 3 different offshoots for usb-c, lightning cable, and something else idk what it's called but it's like an hdmi-shaped version of the lightning cable sized one. anyway, who cares about all that. my laptop has not turned on while the cable is plugged in and it pisses me off so much. i wish my laptop would finally explode like it wants to so i can get a new one.

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im not really sure what kind of audience is actually reading my blogs. i know most don't keep up, cuz its a blog and no one wants to read about someones personal life go on and on, but it is very therapeutic for me. i honestly dgaf who reads it or doesn't. just that i have a place to put my thoughts. i would love feedback or any kind of response literally, like idc what, i like to have conversations with ppl so if u want to go ahead. ill try to stop asking, but i feel like ppl don't feel right doing it or are straight up just not reading any of this. who knows. womp womp.

speaking of which, the things i write about are the kinds of topics i want to talk about with ppl, but are the ones that ppl dont stay on for too long. what i mean to say is that i can bring something up and not have the time to say it all, or the interest of the other person to listen; wait; then let me finish my thoughts, and then actually want a response from them. i often find myself wanting someone to just listen to me go on and on, and most ppl can't stand that or can't stay on the same topic i want to talk about. if i ever do find myself with someone who will let me talk, i'm so conditioned to change the subject for fear that i'm bothering them and sub-consciously/consciously change the subject so i don't lose ppl in conversation.

i had no idea how to recruit "fans" or whatever lol. i had no idea who really wanted to read these blogs. i just find them fun--i'd like to think i'm funny sometimes and that people enjoy what i have to say, so that they can read into what i'm thinking about on their own time. i don't have to bother people with my existence in a conversation back and forth if they don't want to. if you can't stand my writing u can just click away. it's not a big deal. my whole thing is that if you really did want to respond, i'd be down to have a chat with you. i feel satisfied after getting this all out that i can decide to respond or not once i'm done because i've already gotten my thoughts out without being interrupted. you don't watch me type or see my edits, you only see the final product and that puts me at ease a bit. when i speak out loud, i typically say everything i'm thinking or not enough. often i say the wrong thing and people are quick to jump in and ask for clarification or even correct me. i'm not finished. many ppl aren't patient anymore and it's frustrating when my brain doesn't function the way most peoples brains do.

i think of something, then i think "why the hell did that pop into my head? what on earth is this related to?" trick question--its never related to anything most times. my brain just picks up on slight things in my environment and misconstrues them as something relevant to some memory and brings one up, or comes up with something new. i'd assume most people think like that. i just don't know how to explain that to ppl in conversation when were talking about one thing, or we're not talking at all and i just bring something up. that's when it makes sense to me. typically i think of everything at once so it's all relevant to me.

i like this shark. going in circles endlessly in one small space. he knows he can't go anywhere, but maybe he likes it. it's safe, reliable, and cushiony. i put the shark here for our entertainment, but i wont release him (cuz i will forget) but he shall remain happy or maybe he's hitting his head against the walls, thinking "when will she stop yapping" idk.

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im sweating like a madwoman. make it stoppppp. i was trying to experiment by not wearing deodorant/antiperspirant to see if it was all in my head and it is not. it's quite real and i hate it. i hate sweating so much. i don't sweat in my hands or back. just my armpits and private bits (it's really just my thighs lol). i wanna lose weight tbh. i hate my thighs rubbing together, it hurts when i'm wearing shorts and they just slide up and chafe. ugh i get so uncomfortable thinking about it. also my body just gets hot. it's just so annoying. i feel like this hyperhydrosis condition really spiked when i entered college. that's when i really noticed it first a least. my mom has it and i've been trying all different deodorants and antiperspirants with her, but i still sweat regardless. i think she said some work for her for a bit, but then don't again. i think lumē worked for her but just smells weird. who knows. maybe i'll try mens deodorant or antiperspirant. i don't want to throw out my current one cuz yk, money, but it ain't working...

idkkkkk.

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in the time i've written this, the charger still isn't working and even when i hold down the power button there's no response from my conputer to even tell me it's dead. i'm concerned but still couldn't care less. its not fanning bc i let it stop before it turned off. i think it just died and this charger isn't working. i sure hope it works when i get home tho. fuck this shit.

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this body positivity movement related to hair on women is progressing more i think. i haven't researched it or anything, but i notice more ppl than i did before who seem female presenting or have feminine features to have body hair and i love to see it. it's still very scarce, but this is only one place in the world. ofc my hometown there's like no one and my mother makes fun of me all the damn time, so i never forget it. i just wish it didn't look so bad. like i don't care about it cosmetically in the sense that women shouldn't have it cuz it looks bad or cuz its not feminine, but i just don't think it ever matches my outfits. it pisses me off kinda. i don't feel like i give off hairy vibes. maybe i do. those aren't the vibes i wanna put out there. but see in that mindset, i'm stereotyping myself and still have the same schema. "what they're wearing is weird that doesn't match what i assume their style is!" type shit. i don't enjoy this mindset and it comes along with other stereotypical, generalizing mindsets i still have from growing up and am still trying to eradicate, but dang its hard.

i also study peoples behavior and people watch to learn and copy whats socially acceptable. so believe me when i say, it's fucking hard having hairy legs when it's still not common everywhere i go. it's kind of a fucking nightmare sometimes. and i know i sound like "oh, woe is me!" and sometimes i do feel like that, but its because i don't see enough representation--thats another reason why i do it. my real reason is that i don't care to keep up with shaving and i don't want to do it bc i feel like i have to. i don't feel like i want to, so i just don't. if one day i wake up and feel like shaving, then damnit i will. but i don't need anyone's approval or advice on it. i'm angry bc of what my mother says to me, so this is mainly directed towards the comments she's made, and my father, hell, both of em. i'm not taking this outta thin air. there are ppl attacking me, it's my family...

that's the funny thing. i haven't gotten any backlash from a single other person. funny... if they keep it to themselves, wonderful! i honestly don't care what they think, but do care that they are being considerate.

anyshways, thats why i don't love socks that pull on the hair and why i feel awkward in tank tops and short shirts cuz i still haven't gotten over the socially different part yet. this is revolutionizing for me even if it isn't for anyone else.

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if you actually read everything so far, you're cool, but if you're at the end and readin this, you're still cool but u just don't know what i said. i'll sum it up for you-

tdlr (i hate myself):

- computer bout to shit itself

- i have social anxiety and am a clinical yapper

- computer still boutta die

- ahh scary! hair on woman!!

youre here now.

yipee!!

i'll try to post Tuesdays through Thursdays i have decided. try to check then if u can....

love yall,

kD :p

[jaigeye]

everyone is forgetting that saw gerrera was taught by anakin and obiwan (white) lol

i do take some issue with sw writers plopping characters of color into villain/antagonist/not working with the ‘heroes’ role and the fans making incredibly racist memes, i just wanted to point out the fact that he was already on the edge of being a radical and anakin’s presence and training shoved him over the edge along with the death of steela. as a nonwhite person who has seen their own friends radicalized in Very similar ways, i dont think there’s anything necessarily wrong with how he’s being portrayed. i think he’s a good mirror of real life circumstances. the problem inherently lies with the fans, although again as i said it has disappointed me that fascinating, complex characters who are also poc or poc coded (barriss, saw, Reva, for some examples) are mishandled by sw writers and fans.

I think you're misunderstanding me here. Sure, it's a good point that yes, Anakin and Obi-Wan played a role in his life, but I don't think TCW is even a significant enough piece of media to base judgment of his character off if; Rogue One is where he really began to take shape as the character he is, not just a one-off arc character that was quickly forgotten. The nature of the clone wars anthology style is that unfortunately most characters motivations and actions are molded or influenced by the main trio, so I don't know if that argument holds up, although it is an interesting one I hadn't thought about.

My argument is not that characters of color cannot or should not ever be villains... Yet I would strongly disagree with categorizing him as an antagonist. Even in Rogue One he felt like a sort of indelicate attempt to show the political complexities of the Rebellion. That is both where my praise and issues with his writing begin.

Isolated, he himself is a very nuanced and interesting character. Placed in a space with the other Rebel leaders, however, it quickly becomes frustratingly clear that the only Black leader of great significance in the plot, on the same level of narrative importance as Mon Mothma, is a politically radical and aggressive Black man, plagued by delusions of victimhood/paranoia. This is as some might say, not cool. Imagine a sheet of paper with all the rebels and imperials on it. Who are the aggressive, intense characters who are ruthless? (Outside of Andor, because although flawed I feel they did a better job,) that list would include Saw Gerrera, Reva, and Moff Gideon. The good, harmless Black characters? Finn. Jannah, with a few minutes of screentime. Maybe Lando, but he too is always sidelined and we don't get a really good look at his motivations or character. Who else? There are others, but none with enough plot significance to really make up for this imbalance. Plus, a lot of those characters die.

If he were one among many Black Rebel leaders of varying political mindsets, I think my personal gripes with his writing could be resolved more. (However, Black fans opinion here would matter more than mine.)

The basic thing is that Star Wars writers do not know or care about your friends. They don't seem particularly tapped into the political realities of young radicalized minorities right now. We have to be more serious and objective here than this.

Their points of reference were most likely Che Guevara and Malcolm X, so on and so forth. i could handle that under certain circumstances. Andor did a pretty great job portraying him. The Rogue One book did a good job. Then the animations get their hands on him and, as is kind of inherent to the nature of kids shows, they have to pick someone to make the bad or scary decisions to show kid viewers that actually, changing the world through any means possible is a bad thing, and that you should usually use your words, be polite, and not be aggressive or demanding like these ~scary~ people performing direct action. Why did TBB and Rebels choose to take the one Rebel Black guy and make him try to win by putting children&other marginalized people at risk and using explosives and shit? in a real life context, when we focus on the motivations of the writers and not the content of the character, it gets concerning. It is not all, but many of the writers. It is not all, but I'd say most of the fans. The problem is a pretty big one. When u write him in such a way that people r blaming him for character's deaths and accusing him of parental abuse, the writers did something wrong too, not just the fans

Saw Gerrera is one of my all time favorite characters in star wars, because I think he's fascinating and full of potential. But it's really important to be objective about the inequalities in writing here, and pay attention to the way the very few Black characters in a narrative are portrayed.

[ten0rreaper]

Here’s my entry to the @pnatsecretsanta for 2020! @quarktrinity, I hope you enjoy! It’ll be crossposted to ao3, link will be in a reblog. Thank you for your patience!

Isabel: hey so

Isabel: when are u going to get here

Max: wat?

Max: its xmas ev

Isabel: you really need to get a new phone

Isabel: and remember? youre supposed to come to my place tonight, wait it out

Isabel: max?

Isabel: if you were spacing out again im going to kill you

Isabel: you WERE doing the face again now that i think about it

Max: u guys ned 2 mak imprtnt info cler. Y i spcd

Isabel: you need to listen! this time mr spender remembered to tell u and everything. youre not allowed to be mad at us this time

Isabel: in short, get ur butt over here before midnight. sneak out if u need to, thats what isaac does

Isabel: in long, if u dont santas gonna kill u

----

“Let me get this straight.” 11:30 P.M. December 24th, 20XX. Max sat in Ed’s room on a chair hastily drawn up, with a jacket pulled hastily over his pajamas and hat still jammed on his head, massaging his temples. “Santa’s real, he’s a spirit, and he hates all spectrals and is coming to kill us?”

“That’s a bit of an oversimplification, but yeah,” Isaac said, and Max shot him a glare. He could hear that smugness. “So like, there’s a lot of spirits that kinda grow from ideas humans have, right? I don’t know what’s up with Scrapdragon, but like, Muse came from the ideas around ancient Greek muses, like his name. They can be really off base but still have the same ideas- like Lucifer, Mr. Spender’s spirit, is just some lightbulb guy, but Lucifer does mean light and stuff, so they can just be along those lines. But like, a LOT of kids believe in Santa and think about him a lot, so there’ve been a few spirits that manifested around the idea of a guy who can get anywhere to deliver presents to good kids and punishments to bad ones, especially with stories like Krampus too.”

“But most spirits can’t interact with humans, so this guy mostly goes around to other spirits and ghosts and stuff,” Isabel said, distracted by her attempts to spin her umbrella like a top. “So he likes spirits a lot. And we kick a lot of spirit butt,” she punctuated this with a particular spirited spin of the umbrella, “so he hates us and comes to try to kill us every year. And because he can teleport, he can get inside the barrier. So gramps makes us all stay with him until sunrise every year so that all the adults can fight off santa and his reindeer so we don’t get put in a sack and teleported somewhere.”

Max groans and tries to fall backwards in his chair, but the chair doesn’t budge. “Your paint really isn’t good for drama,” Max informed Ed.

“Don’t be so dramatic then,” Ed snickered. “It’s not that big of a deal.”

“Says you, You just stay at home all night. I have to sneak out! My dad’ll kill me if he finds out!”

“I just put a pillow in my blankets and it’s fine,” Isaac says with a shrug. “If your dad looks harder than that, we probably have a tool lying around that can wipe memories or something.”

“I don’t want to mind wipe my dad,” Max grumbled, but resigned himself to slumping grumpily in his chair to watch Ed play some punching game or whatever. Bad enough that his own baseball bat might want to eat him, and he was trapped in this town with no way out- now Christmas hated him too. 

Isaac caught his eye and smiled sympathetically. “You get used to it,” he whispered.

“I thought I was used to it a month ago.”

Max jumped as a knock on the door sounded, glaring at Isabel’s laughter. The door opened without waiting for a response. Mr. Spender poked his head in through the door with a goofy grin. “Alright, kids! You all ready for this year’s Christmas night?”

Ed didn’t even look away from his video game, waving lazily. “We could use some snacks. That’d be nice.”

“Yeah, where are the snacks, old man? You want us to starve?” Isabel waved her umbrella at him like a grumpy old woman might a cane.

“You’re well fed enough already. I made sure of that.” It spoke wonders to how used to this existence Max had become that Mr. Spender knocking politely had scared him, but Isabel’s grandpa floating through the wall didn’t. The man’s bulk and imperious gaze still caused him some anxiety, though, and he had to consciously remind himself that he’s a punk, he’s cool, and he doesn’t respect anyone’s authority, even a scary ghost’s. Yeah, totally. 

The atmosphere of the room quickly shifted, and Isabel’s eyes dropped. “Yeah, I was just joking. Sorry, Grandpa.”

“Joke or not, this night is too much effort to make light of. My students and I are putting ourselves at risk for you,” Mr. Guerra said, looming over the room, “so only vocalize a need if you need it.”

Isabel glowered at the carpet. “Alright, Grandpa…”

“So. I will ask again. Are you all prepared? Midnight strikes soon.”

“We are, sir,” Isaac said. Max fought not to pull a face at Isaac’s please pay attention to me, authority figure tone, but for once it was helpful, so whatever. He could let it slide. 

Mr. Guerra eyed Isaac. “...good. We’ll get you once the sun begins to rise.” And with that, he turned away and slid down through the floor. Max could already hear him barking at the pupils below.

Mr. Spender grimaced. “Well… good! Everything’s all set then.”

Isabel grumbled, picking at the carpet.

“...trust me,” Mr. Spender said, forcing audibly fake cheer into his voice, “This isn’t a hassle at all. You guys getting stuffed into a sack- now, that would be quite the kerfuffle!”

They all stared as Mr. Spender slowly deflated. “...sure,” Max said. “Uh, we’ll be good, stay up here, it’s fine.”

“Great.” Mr. Spender nodded, stared awkwardly for a moment, and stepped out the door. “Well, Merry Christmas, children!” He shut the door behind him. Max listened with the others as his footsteps hurried down the hall to the stairwell.

Silence reigned for a few minutes, a distinctly uncomfortable experience for Max. It was almost impossible not to ramble, and he was reaching his breaking point and about to open the floodgates of inane and overly verbose chatter when Ed, thankfully, took point.

“That sucked,” he said simply, and Isabel groaned and fell back.

“I hate when he does that!” Isabel laid her umbrella by her side and waved her hands in the air exasperatedly. “It’s like he has no in between and I’m always either The Best And He’s So Disappointed In Me For Not Being Perfect or A Helpless Kid He Needs To Do Everything For! He always gets like this tonight!”

Ed paused his game, and reached around to pat her on the knee. “I mean, we could prove him wrong. We beat up spirits all the time, how hard could this be?”

“Okay, hold up, hand on,” Max said. “No? I- this is a terrible idea, you just got finished telling me about how if I wasn’t here I’d be killed by Santa, and now you want to go out there and fight Santa?”

“Well, not Santa,” Ed said. “Duh. He mostly just sends his reindeer to do everything and hangs out on rooftops.”

“And no offence Max, but uh…” Isaac scratched the back of his head.

“You’d totally get killed if you were on your own.” Isabel flipped herself upright. “All you got is that dinky bat, and magnet powers. You can’t even do a spec shot, dude, you’d get thrown in a sack in no time. We’d be fine.”

Max crossed his arms. “Alright, screw you too.”

“But other than that… that sounds like it could be pretty fun.” Isabel grinned. “Show the old man and his big dumb deer who’s boss. Maybe then he’ll stop coming to Mayview every year.”

“That would be pretty nice actually.” Isaac was clearly thinking hard- he had his broody face on. “I would like to stop having to sneak out every year. Sooner or later my parents will notice.”

Max shuddered. “Actually, yeah, Isaac has a point. I don’t want to die to Rudolph or anything, but if we keep having to do this, I’ll die to my dad, which is way worse honestly.”

“Your dad’s a teddy bear,” Isabel said, and rolled her eyes. “Stop complaining.”

“You haven’t seen him when I fail a test!”

“So are we going or what?” Isabel was already pulling her jacket back on, tucking her umbrella firmly under her arm. Ed bounced on the balls of his feet with a grin, already eyeing up the window and painting himself a rope. 

Max looked at Isaac, who shrugged and got to his feet. Max sighed, and stood up, regretfully leaving his scooter on the floor. “Yeah, alright. We’re going.”

Well, Max was regretting this. He was regretting this so much. He tromped through the snowy woods, eternally grateful for his boots. “Why in the world do we have to fight the spirits of Christmas in the woods? Why can’t we do it in town, or like, on the road at least? The roads we salted. The roads wouldn’t be as cold.”

“Cuz we’d get caught, dummy,” Isabel snorted. Or maybe it was a sniffle. “Either someone from the dojo would hear us and yell at us and get in the way before we can prove anything, or someone in town would yell at us and call the cops or something.”

“Maybe having people nearby to help isn’t a bad thing? You can’t just say that after saying that I’m the most likely person to die!”

“You came out here anyway,” Isaac pointed out, and looked all too unaffected by Max’s glare.

“I hate you. I hate you with everything in my being you- you chump elf.”

Isabel laughed. “Yeah, yeah. Anyway, this place looks pretty good, huh?” She stopped, looking around the snowy clearing they’d come into and turning in place. She nodded, satisfied. “There’s room to fight here, and we could come up with some pretty solid traps. Isaac wouldn’t have to worry too much about blasting a bunch of trees.”

“Looks pretty good!” Ed pulled off a mitten with his teeth and dug his paint brush out of his pocket. “What’re you thinkin, Izzy? Tripwire? Net?”

“Let’s go net,” Isaac said. “They can fly.”

“Plus, last time you tripped Isaac, remember?” Isabel elbowed Ed in the side. “Max and I are pretty fast, but Isaac needs some help.”

“Please. I can jump higher than your house is tall.”

“But you still fell just flat on your face,” she cooed. Isaac grumbled, cursing her just loud enough for Isabel to overhear, but she just batted her eyes and paid him no mind. “Okay, so,” she said, looking up at the sky through the hole in the canopy, “we probably only have a few more minutes before one of the reindeer finds us-”

And that’s when a dark shape, faster than cheetah and twice as forceful, barrelled into Max.  And off he went, hanging by the hood of his jacket on a wicked sharp antler prong, into the sky and away to the sound of jingling bells.

----

Things were quiet this year, Richard reflected. It was honestly a relief- maybe the spirit had finally given up. Probably too much to hope for, but, Christmas miracles and all. In any case, there seemed to be plenty of time to get the kids some mugs of hot cocoa and cookies to wait out the night with.

“Need any help balancing those?” Day asked, and Richard felt his mood become momentarily strained.

“Actually, that would be nice, if you think you could.” The tray of mugs and cookies he was balancing was quite the challenge, after all. Day reached up and somehow grabbed the plates of cookies perfectly- Spender could swear he saw her eyes flash for a moment, smart woman- and left him to balance the four mugs. A much easier task now.

“I really thought things would be more eventful, with how much Francisco was fussing over it, but everything’s pretty quiet, isn’t it?” Day smiled and followed Richard’s footsteps to the stairs.

“Well, usually there’s more cause for it, but the spirits seem to be laying low this year. Not an unwelcome reprieve in the slightest, but I do worry about Max… if this isn’t the new status quo, I don’t want him to get the wrong idea.”

“He’s a- well, he seems like a really smart kid,” Day reassured him. “I think he’ll make sure to be careful next year too!”

“I hope so. He does seem resourceful, but… he can be reckless.”

“Oh, I’m sure,” she said, before stopping with a small frown on her face. “They’re being pretty quiet…”

Spender listened for a moment himself. “Hm, they are… mayhaps they went to bed early?”

“That doesn’t sound like them.”

“No,” he said, dread creeping into his heart. “It doesn’t.”

He set the tray of cookies on the floor. He approached Ed’s room. He knocked.

He opened the door.

Richard’s lips thinned into a grim line as he surveyed the dark room. “They’re gone.”

------

Max screamed for his life as he was lifted faster than he could process into the sky. It was a clear, starry night, and they all looked like streaks as his captor circled through the sky, closer and closer to the top of the dome before colliding headfirst into it. Max didn’t have any more air in his lungs to scream as he was jostled loose and began to fall down, down- only to be caught again, this time like a sack of potatoes on the spirit’s back. He was overwhelmed by the sound of silver bells as he caught his breath, eyes screwed tightly shut.

Eventually, his lungs rallied to his call, and he was able to take in an unpleasant few gulps of animal-scented air. Max cracked his eyes open a peek- and immediately shut them again. Too high. He was way, way too high up. His heart felt like it was about to beat out of his chest, and the wind burned his face and the tips of his ears.

Hold on.

“My hat,” he wheezed reaching one hand up to grope the top of his head. “My hat’s gone!”

“Soon that will be of no matter.”

Max screamed- even he was getting fed up with his own screams at this point, but instinct didn’t seem to be on the same page.

“Quiet,” the rumbling voice said, and the spirit turned to look at Max. “Your sounds irritate me.”

The spirit that held Max on its back was by far the biggest deer of any Max had ever seen. It was shaggy and majestic, even as its fur was electric yellow, and its huge rack of knife-like antlers shivered as if they were made of candle flame. Its many eyes blinked, and it beared serrated teeth- a stark contrast to the many silver bells that seemed a part of its pelt. Max looked away, avoiding its cruel gaze, to see three pairs of legs, hooves thundering over empty air. And below him, seven more enormous shapes were blazing their way towards the distant forest clearing, led by an eerie red light. “Oh no, oooooh no, no no no no no no…”

“But yes, child. At last you have been retrieved, and soon your friends will be as well. Then, you can all face your punishment.” The spirit laughed cruelly. “I am Dasher, and I was simply the herald.”

“So you’re just, you’re just Dasher? Like from the poem? One of those things down there is…” Jeez, this was surreal. “...Donner? And, Vixen?”

“Many tremble in fear before those names. It would do you right to show some respect.”

“What? No, nobody does! You guys are like, goofy little stop motion dolls, man, how’d you guys end up looking like this?”

“Our powers are untold by your human poems-”

“Aren’t you guys based on the poems?!”

Dasher snorted and tossed his head in anger. “That is an egregious oversimplification-”

“I thought your name was Dasher, not Dictionary.”

The spirit cried out in frustration, and Max felt something in him settle a bit better. Poking things with words, he could do that. Just don’t look down. “So, uh,” he began, shifting a bit so it was less like he was thrown over Dasher and more like he was riding him, “why am I not in a sack yet?”

“Our pilot is attending to his annual business in Mayview,” Dasher growled. “It is we who have the ability to fight and fly- so it is we who collect naughty children. Once your compatriots have been obtained, then we may return to our stations.”

“Wow,” Max drawled. “I can’t believe Santa needs his reindeer to deal with three preteens.”

“You do have a teenager within your ranks. That does provide some extra challenge.”

“Whoa, wait, really?”

“Yes. He cannot fully be counted as a child by our pilot any longer- he has aged enough to become a teenager. It is not he that we seek.”

“Wow, that’s weirdly arbitrary and nitpicky.” Max was so going to tease Isaac about this later. If he didn’t, well, get thrown into a sack and… baked into a pie? Eaten alive? Thrown into a dungeon? Whatever. Try to be positive.

“If you take issue, you may air your complaints to our pilot.”

“Taking it straight to the manager, alright.” Max stared at his hands, balled in bright yellow fur, and took a deep breath as he relaxed them. He wasn’t going to fall, he was certain Dasher wouldn’t allow him, channel a Karen- and he released the fur, balancing on the spirit’s back with only his legs. Before he could lose his nerve, he swung his backpack off his shoulder and grabbed his bat. Okay, weapon acquired. Just… what to do with it.

Dasher huffed. “Puny weapon. Even with the power of an enslaved spirit, you cannot defeat me. Especially not with a spirit as weak as that one.”

“Ugh, not you too,” Max grumbled. At least this thing wasn’t getting aggressive. “I’m kinda tired of being called the weak one, it’s getting old.”

“It would have been better, then, if you had kept your power to yourself, and not bothered the true denizens of this world, as the other child does.”

“Other child-? You know what, I don’t know what you’re talking about and I do not care. Now let me think.” Max re-gripped Dasher tightly, this time grabbing the reigns, and looked around. Man, of course Max got magnet powers in the place where there’s no tall buildings anywhere- it would be great if they could pass by a skyscraper or two for Max to attach himself to. But alas… then, his eyes caught a gleam, a dark silhouette against the colorful lights of Mayview. 

A transmission tower in the woods. And they were heading right for it. Max shrugged his backpack back on to his shoulder and gripped his bat as tight as he could.

“Thinking will get you nowhere, child.”

“Yeah, but it’ll keep me quiet,” Max mumbled.

“True,” Dasher said. And started to turn back towards the clearing.

“No!” Max yelped, holding his bat out desperately- he knew the tower was too distant still, but he put all his will into the bat, trying to extend its power as far as he can-

Dasher lurched beneath him with a confused cry, the bells jangled, and Max’s focus was broken with a shout. Immediately, Dasher steadied beneath him.

“Child, if you do that again I will throw you off into the ground-”

“What- I don’t even know what I did-” Max’s breath caught as he realized what happened. The bells. They were metal, and he had what was definitely a terrible idea. But it was his only idea.

Quickly, before Dasher could retaliate, Max activated his bat. Dasher howled with rage as all the bells in his body strained in the direction of the magnetic center, and Max laughed with panic. 

“RELEASE ME AT ONCE-”

“No,” Max said, filled with thrill and panic, and directed Dasher back towards the clearing. The spirit barrelled towards it at supernatural speeds, a furious scream echoing through the night as he crashed into the snow like a comet. Max tumbled off of the spirit’s back, and the bat’s angle changed wildly, forcing Dasher in mad circles.

The other seven deer spirits, crowded in the woods, were as thrown into chaos as Isabel, Ed, and Isaac were, but Ed recovered fastest. “Max!” He crowed, head popping out of the snow. “You’re alive!”

“Somehow!” Max laughed, voice squeaky with panic. “For now!” In the corner of his eye, he noticed another spirit- a large one that was on fucking fire, so must be either Comet or Blitzen- and quickly swung his bat around to point at it. Dasher was forced to charge full speed into the other spirit, which dissolved into a wisp with a cry of shock.

Isabel whooped. “I can’t believe it! Magnet powers are good for something!”

“Serves you right!” He felt about to shake apart, and still dizzy from the crash, but spinning Dasher around like a top was easy enough- and the other jingling spirits were drawn in too. It was a glorious explosion of color, sound, and christmas spirits as one by one they melted each other away into whisps. Finally, only Dasher stood in the snow, puffing furious, cloudy breaths into the air.

“You will pay,” Dasher hissed. “Naughty children. You will not escape your punishment, this I swear to you.”

“Whatever you say, bub,” Ed chirped, and raised his scythe above his head.

“Wait!”

Max and the others turned back to look just in time to watch an arrow streak through the night and imbed itself in Dasher’s forehead. “No, no,” he groaned, watching Isabel’s face light up with glee.

Agent Day and Mr. Spender ran into the clearing, both panting and exhausted. “Thank goodness we found you,” Agent Day breathed, hands on her knees. “We were so worried that you were taken…”

“But I saw Dasher fall from the sky!” Spender’s chest heaved, and he swayed with effort, but he somehow managed to stay upright. “I’m so glad you’re all alright, even Dasher alone is quite the challenge to combat…”

“Nah, we got all of them.” Isabel grinned and punched her palm. “Max was able to yank ‘em around by the bells with his bat, and he got em all to poof each other. It was really easy to hit ‘em when they were all clumped up, too.”

“You- you really beat them all? Where are their tools?!”

“Right here, Mr. Spender!” Isaac called, arms full of a few rocks and sticks. “They’re, uh, not much to look at, but…”

“Amazing! Wonderful job, all of you- these will be great for the club’s stores!”

“But you shouldn’t have snuck out. We were so worried about you, and you’re glad we found you! Your grandfather is worried sick!” Agent Day wrung her hands together, cane stuck in the snow.

“Yes, he’s… not happy,” Spender admitted. “But, surely he’ll be proud when he finds out what you’ve accomplished?”

“Probably not,” Isabel sighed, sticking her hands in her pockets.

“...probably not.” Spender came over to put a hand on her shoulder. “But, for what it’s worth, I am.” Isabel looked up at him, then threw her arms around him. Spender smiled softly and hugged her in return.

“This is great,” Max groaned. “But I’m being crushed by a flippin’ reindeer, so can I get some help?”

Oblivious to Max’s irritation, Dasher continued licking Max’s hair life the reindeer he resembled. “You’re not so bad, I suppose. Resourceful child.”

“It always happens to me.”

“The arrow will at least last the night,” Agent Day said thoughtfully. “It should be safe for you to go home, in that case- you too, I think, Isaac! Since all the others are gone, after all… Maybe Dasher can take you home!”

“Nooooo!”

“I think that’s a wonderful idea, Ms. Day,” Spender said. “You could perhaps take Isaac and Ed back to the dojo, and I can take Isaac back to his home…?”

“Yes sir!” Day smiled. “Merry Christmas, Max, Isaac,” she said. “I hope you get back undetected.”

“Thank you, Ms. Day,” Isaac said. “You too.”

“You guys suck,” Max grumbled.

----

It took a bit for Max to wrangle Dasher into taking him home, but under Day’s spell, the spirit was a fairly easygoing ride. As Max climbed back in through his window to his undisturbed bed, he heard the spirit settle on the roof to keep watch for the sunrise. And, taking comfort in not being discovered and in the knowledge that next year, when he’s a teen, he won’t have to worry about any of this, Max changed back into his pajamas, settled into bed, and slipped into a deep sleep.

[honeyxmonkey]

🔥 Anything really.

Unpopular opinion (and im certain im going to lose followers over this but Im really tired of keeping my opinions to my self because I don't want to cause drama) but I dont think the masks do a thing to help. What I do think they are is a way for the government to control us. I know it sounds like im spitting crap and stuff but I honestly don't think we need to be wearing the masks.

As far as I know and have been told by my parents who are far more knowledgeable of the subject than I am, covid isn't an airborne virus. You ain't gonna catch it by breathing air.

And I also think the fear of the pandemic is way inflated and we shouldn't be as scared of it as we're told to be.

Seriously, correct me if you think im wrong. I won't argue with you over your opinion. If you think im naive and being radical about it, okay whatever.

Its important to note while I think the maks thing is stupid, I still wear masks when I go to stores that require them. I've had this conversation with my mom already. And there are things that I have heard and seen in my home about covid thats going to take alot of explaining and typing to truly get the point across but in the end, my view on it all is that I think its overplayed by now and stupid.

At first I was like, yeah okay. Social distancing. Makes sense. But now I dont think it matters. I dont think wearing masks have helped, or ever will and thats my unpopular opinion.

If you want to yell at me in my comments go ahead. I don't care. If you want to send me hate anons. Fine. But I'm truly sick and tired of this and I'm truly sick and tired of withholding my opinion because I'm afraid the friends I've made here will hate me for it.

And this is not about the masks being uncomfortable. I just truly don't think they help.

[captain-jinguji]

Starish and Quartet Night reacting to s/o who has selfharm issues/depression, please? If you don't feel comfortable with these and don't feel like writing it, I'll understand

It kinda hit home when I read this ask so I avoided it for a while but I think I should write this for a variety of reason. Please, if you or someone you know is depressed and or self harming reach out to someone and seek help. Things do get better and there is a bright and wonderful future ahead of you and for you. My messages are always open if someone needs an ear to listen ❤

Warning: mentions of depression and self harm 

STARISH + QUARTET NIGHT when they find out about their s/o's depression/self harm scars. 

Starish

Natsuki: 

His usually cheerful behavior was replaced by a sad face, "(Y/N)-chan… why..?" He watched you crumble in front of him and didn't hesitate to wrap his arms around you. Hes usually not one to force you to talk but this is not a subject that cannot easily be avoided. Makes you tell him what's going through your head and makes you open up to him. He can't watch you hurt like this and be left in the dark. Will help you through this.

Tokiya: 

Softly takes your hands in his when he sees your scars "... How long have you been doing this?" Dont know if hes more mad at you for reaching for those extremes or at himself for not noticing. His face is covered in sorrow and heartache and he, too, forces you to talk to him. Will make you get professional help because it is, in his mind, in your best interest. 

Cecil: 

Doesn't understand. He's noticed you were getting kind of distant and at first he thought he did something wrong, but seeing you so broken, and by yourself, he knew there was something more to it. Will throw himself at your feet and hug your lower body, "princess… why would you do this? Talk to me… please.." Is begging you to speak to him. Will not let you go until you find a solution, together. 

Ren: 

His initial reaction was surprisingly anger. He's lost his mom and he sure as hell was not about to lose you. Confronts you about it and forces you to tell him everything; why, how long, everything. Doesnt let you out of his sight after that and his affection grows by ten fold. Honestly thinks he was part of the reason, no matter what you tell him, and also suggests you seek professional help. "You can't hide these things from me…"

Otoya:

Cries before you even get the chance to. Why would you do this to yourself? What's wrong? Where did this sadness come from? There's a million questions running through his head and he's also begging you to tell him. He's so worried about you, but also isnt super great with this. Holds you in his arms and asks how he can help, if there is someone youve been seeing and if you want to go see someone who can help. "Why didnt you tell me..? I want to help.."

Syo: 

Watches your depression unfold for a while whilst trying to make your life better. He tries everything from clearing his schedule for you to going on dates together to bringing your favorite food. Until one day he cant take it anymore and he confronts you. Is not ready for you to tell him about your depression but immediately holds you. Reminds you that he's always there for you and you shouldve just said something. Will seek out help with you. "I'm trying so hard, but you have to meet me in the middle.."

Masato: 

Knows something is up immediately and asks you about it right away. Doesnt buy the "I'm fine" line and doesnt let it go until you spill the tea. Wont leave your side for a while and will also maks you go out and seek help. "Im always here for you, please don't shut me out."

QUARTET NIGHT

Reiji: 

Saw the signs right away. He's been there; he knows how it feels and how no one should ever go through it. Calls you out on it right away and tells you to talk to someone, even if it's not him. "Ne.. (Y/N)... I know what this is… I've been there too… please, talk to someone… Even if its not me." 

Ranmaru: 

Much like Ren, he was irritated at first and thinks he's at fault for everything. Almost loses it and wants to yell at you because he honestly doesnt know what he did, but then you start crying and he saw your scars and he feels sooooo bad. Pulls you into his lap and rocks you back and forth "why… why do you do this to yourself?... Reach out to me, babe…" waits for you to tell him everything but forces you to seek help. 

Camus: 

Is so mad at you for shutting him out. Nothing you can say would calm his icy flames except that you dont even try to say anything and you're just curled up into a ball. Confronts you and starts yelling at you and at first your crying almost seemed like a pity party but then you started talking about it and he feels like such an asshole. "(Y/N)... You shouldve told me these things. We can find a solution." Tries to be calm about the situation and think rationally, but is so concerned about you.

Ai: 

Much like Reiji, he notices the symptoms right away and doesnt even give you time to explain, he books an appointment at a therapist right away. "I dont know what is in your mind, but I'm here for you and we're getting you help. "

[afterthelastreset]

Rules Of One’s Soul Ch15 A Little Offer P5

(Mak belongs to @wasted-church )

The entirety of the cliffside home was oddly silent other than the furious sounds of scrubbing coming from the other side of the sheap. The outside had gotten slightly darker indicating it mustve been early night at least. The residents were sure feeling it. Seam especially as he relaxed back down into the old armchair, normally he hated water but after getting blasted by ashes he was happy to scrub it off. Took a while for his fur to dry though. Luckily no stitches came loose this time. As for Jevil and Rouxls-

The small gremlin was balancing on his tail watching the working worm with a crestfallen face. Seam could only shake his head and couldn't help but feel sorry for the poor fella. True his uh ....'help' had backfired but considering he was pretty rusty from being locked up for over one hundred years of his life, one couldn't judge him too harshly....Buuuut Rouxls wasn't one to let go easily. It had been proven before.

"Can I help,help?" Jevil gave a hopeful smile to the cleaning worm, who paused for a split second before harshly dunking the sponge he was using into a nearby bucket filled with sudsy water and continued as if he hadn't heard a thing. Making the foolishly hopeful smile from his face vanish a bit, but ever persistent, his tail leaned him forward to be closer to the worm's side where he tried seeing his face. "You shouldn't have to work, work so hard. Im sorry, sorry. So allow me to he-"

A quick snap of a heated glare from the duke silenced the jester into submission, his smile now silently small and he froze at the hatred radiating off him. It got smaller when Rouxls leaned onto his knees. Usually hed tower over Jevil but his current sitting position made for perfect eye level.

"Oh. THOU art sorry." A dry chuckle came from that angry being. "Good. For I amst sorry as well....Im sorry for ever letting mine guard down aground thee!"

Jevil flinched. Hard. And Seam continued to watch calmly from the comfort of the chair, but Kaard didnt care as he already turned his frustrations back to scrubbing the black blotches.

"Im sorry I ever met thee. Im sorry I canst be there for mine boy- He can't even sleep properly without a story let alone runneth an entire kingdom by himself. Imst stucketh cleaning homes likest some maid just to get decent food and all for what? For a smiling foolish worme to come crashing into thine-"

....He froze.....Something gently kneeding his shoulder...

"DON'T TOUCHE ME YOU PLAUGE ON MINE LIFE!!"

The tail that been holding up shot back the shocked body of the imp as a worm reared his full anger towards him for trying to put a hand on his shoulder.

"Why dont'st you doeth what thou doeseth best and playest games elsewhere?!"

With that the duke snapped back around to the floor ignoring any other sad look Jevil gave him. The jester slunk back even further from the duke- An ear perked at a soft chuckle he turned and found it came from the plush cat away from him.

"Your next play has been interesting to say the least. Are you ready to accept defeat old friend?" His smile widened as the small man pouted and promptly huffed at the audacity of the question.

"Absolutely not,not. I just-" Yellow orbs glanced back shakily to the worm for a split moment before back to the smiling cat. "...Need a new move,move to play."

He chuckled again. "Then may I offer some advice-"

"I can heareth everything thou art saying." Another annoyed glance was thrown over his shoulder.

A paw was held up in defence. "Now, now. I meant no harm but maybe its best Jevil leaves you alone right now."

The smaller man Took one last look to the worm before slowly starting towards the smiling cat. Seam ever so calm reached out and gave the sulking gremlin a pitty pat on the shoulder.

"I dont suppose you would like some tea to help ease the sting of rejection?"

A dark chuckle and smile. "The taste is bittersweet. But I would rather get sweet victory, victory.~"

Deep chuckles came from the cat as his one good eye watched the jester jump onto the couch next to himself, but somehow his forced frustrated grin still seemed to be sad there. It sorta made his cotton shiver with a pang of sorrow, but in a game it was best not to let his guard down too much. Jevil sat down on the couch next to Mak, who was fast asleep in a box filled with different things from gems to random jewelry they probably stole. Took forever to get them to calm down after finding their 'room' ransacked and cleaned out by Rouxls. The purple migit made his frustrated ways known with tapping fingers and strained grin directly towards him in question.

"I just...have a few set backs. Set backs."

"Oh yes. I remember how fondly old couples would chase each other with screams and try to bodily harm one another." He chuckled at the narrowed eyes Jevil have him. "Or maybe not. It's been at least a few hundred years. Hahaha."

"Funny,funny....What have you done, done to get expertise in other's romantical preference?," his voice asked in a low tone. A Jevil way of challenging his knowledge.

To which he shrugged. "I don't. But Id like to think I have enough know how to at least hold a decent conversation and get to know them more."

He could practically hear the gears working in the other's mind as Jevil slowly came to the realization that maybe, just maybe he had something up his sleeve. So when a more questioning look came over him, Seam couldn't help but chuckle.

"Really,really?...Would the Magnificent Seam be willing, willing to....discuss his tutorials? Tutorials.

"Haha. But then wouldn't that be cheating the game old friend?"

One of Jevil's eyelids twitched. Indicating held back annoyance at least. "Hmhm....Perhaps rules could be ...temporary bent,bent?"

It was more of a suggestion than question, but one that made Seam hum with interest anyways. His eye went back to the worm who was stretching his back out with a groan and popping noise from said worm's back. He looked about ready to get done and be one his way. Could it really hurt to exchange a few short insights of his? Jevil waited with hopeful patience as Seam rubbed his chin in thought before looking back to him with a smile.

"I suppose...haha. Two opponents of opposite sides could come to an agreement every so while still searching for victory."

A couple of giggles came his way as Jevil lit back up. "Do tell. Do tell."

"Well....I could but I think you already know he doesn't appreciate forceful attempts to get him to like someone...But how you're doing things I could be wrong."

"...And I could say, say the same about having to be forced to clean a mess,mess that's not his. ..His."

"Not if the person offered to help him in return and was happily offered to go as a ...guest for the holidays."

There it was. The straw that broke the hathys back. The jester became as still as a statue as soon as those few words tumbled out of the plush's mouth, it was honestly rather funny to see such a rare shock upon the normally cheerful face, unfortunately it didn't last long because rapid blinks followed shortly after and a forced pleasent chuckle escaped his throat.

"My dear friend, friend," Jevil said in a forced sweet voice. "It seems that my ears are not what they used to be, be. I thought for a moment you said-"

"That I will be accompanying the Duke to the this silly ball?" Jevils face dropping again made him chuckle and lean into the chair's cushions more. "I suppose it's not that big of a deal...But then again." Even if it seemed unreal, a smug look came over the cat. "You might not like my play on words, Old friend. Hahaha."

In that stuper the imp could only get out one word. "How...?"

"I offered to help take care of you. It seems you've outdone yourself with the romanticizing eh?"

He went from shocked to an angry little man complete with puffed cheeks and red eyes. If you didn't know Jevil personally it would be quite scary but to the laughing cat it was just like a small tired child. It was cuter when he suddenly stood up and stomped a foot onto the couch. Jarring the sleeping child awake and jingling the box they were sleeping in. Seam didnt even flinch when a claw was pointed at him .

"No far, no far! You cheated, cheated!"

"By nicely asking if I could go? Really Jevil. You're acting like a child who didn't get the cookie jar."

A growl. "You can't keep me away, away! "

"Who said I would? I only said I would try to help keep your wild self in check and I intend to do so. ...By giving you advice. " when Jevil didnt say anything he continued. "Try a less forceful approuch next time round. "

".....Next time?" It seemed he found his voice. Jevil could always rebound pretty fast. "My next turn will leave your head spinning, spinning!"

"Oh Im sure it will." Still with the smug grin.

"You'll see, you'll see!!"

With that he sprung himself off of the couch and with furious jingles made his way back to the back room. Oh this was surely was going to be worth watching. A slighy jingling of trinkets ditected his attention back towards the box where the child was looking at him.

"Breakfast time now?"

......................................................................................

Scrubbing sounds was the most of what he heard as he kept up the cleaning momentum. He wanted to get done, collect his earnings, and get out of that chaotic hell of a home. The set back had made him take a whole couple more hours to fix, it was already probably in the middle of the night by how slightly darker it was outside. But luckily he was nearly finished. Just a part of the ceiling left-

The mop was promptly dunked back into the bucket and pulled out a moment later before being thrusted back up against the ceiling and rubbed against the black ashes remaining stuck to it. The anger was still burning in his mind but he couldn't careless. ....Unfortunately it blinded him to what would've been the soft jingling of bells coming up to him until he felt a tug on his sleeves. The scrubbing stopped and looked down to the small mass that was Jevil. Giving him a small smile-

"What doth thou want?"

The harsh tone made him flinch slightly but that didn't deter his new set of confidence. "Ive come to apologize, apologize for everything that's happened."

An anoyed but slightly confused expression came over him as Rouxls rose a brow. His attention turning back to scrubbing. "Oh lucky me... And what doth I owest thy pleasure?"

He didnt see the inhale of breath Jevil took. "I want you to forgive, forgive me. Let us start over, over. Please. Let me make up, make up!"

That made the worm pause his movenents and look back down to the hopeful face of the imp who smiled wider at him. Rouxls blinked....And blinked again. .. Before another annoyed look came over him.

"Really? I amst supposed to forget everythinge that has happened?" Jevils ears drooped slightly as Rouxls huffed. "Likest I wouldst do that- EEK!"

The mop fell to the floor with a thump and water spilt onto the floor. Rouxls scrambled back from the sudden flashing of pink in front of his face, in his hast knocking over the mop bucket and almost falling over onto his rear. Jevil admittedly was pretty startled from sudden reaction as well and just stood there. A couple shiny pink heart attacks floating above him at Rouxls's eye level.

He blinked upwards at the heavy form of the Duke in front of him-

"ART THOU TRYING TO GIVETH MINESELF A SOUL ATTACK?!" He pointed at the hearts. "I will nay f-forgiveth thou for doing that! Now...g-getest rid of them!"

Jevil did. Immediately. "Im sorry, sorry-"

"Stoppeth it! Just stoppeth apologizing." The worm pushed himself up from the wall as gave Jevil another annoyed look. "If thou was really 'sorry' thoust wouldst try harder and use that head of yours."

Jevil said nothing as Rouxls turned around to look at the new mess with a disgusted look, but he did hum and make a thoughtful expression a moment later. He might have mumbled something like 'Try harder, harder?' but Rouxls wasn't paying much attention so he barely heard. But he did see him back out of the room from the corner of his eye. Good. Now he could get done

He looked back down at the spilt water, wondering how he would get that cleaned up-...Wait. A pair of rapid footsteps came towards him, along with a small...battle cry. He barely had time to turn around before a purple blur slammed hard into his chest. They went to the ground like a sack of gems wind knocked out.

"WHONST THY F*CKETH-"

"FORGIVE ME!" A pair of yellow eyes stared intensely from his chest.

"WHA-" The smaller body of the darkner squeezed around his form face pouting against his chest. Rouxls struggled but managed to sit back up with the imp digging into him. "Absolutely not!"

His hands grabbed onto him and pulled. Hard. But Jevils limbs dug harder around him resulting in a panic running up the worm's spine and pulling harder on him. The digits digging into his goopy body was starting to hurt.

"Im not letting go, go until you let me,me make it up to you! You!"

"Thou art bluffing!" By now he was disparately wanting to get this thing off of him! He couldn't stand the way his soul was thumping against his ribcage- "T-Thou cant do this!"

"I CAN DO ANYTHING!"

Of course. What answer would he expect? He sat there and stared dumbfounded at him but considering that he was still clinging to him tighter than Lancer, and that pouting face was.....kinda cute.....UGH!!

"Fine!Fine! Thou can getteth off me now!"

He narrowed his eyes. "You give me your word,word?"

"Y-Yes. Now please-"

After a few more moments of looking at him suspiciously but slowly let Rouxls go. The worm man shakily stood up onto his feet while remaining eye contact with Jevil who seemed alot more satisfied and happy he finally got his way.

"Splendid, splendid! Hehehehehe! Im so excited,excited to hear that! I promise, promise to make you happy, happy!"

"I doubt that..."

But Jevil didn't seem to hear Rouxls mumbling to himself as he proudly skittered to the exit to the shop front. There he stood proudly and pointed a claw at the ever so calm Seam.

"One step closer,closer to checkmate!"

[patriotsnet]

How Many Republicans In Impeachment Inquiry

New Post has been published on https://www.patriotsnet.com/how-many-republicans-in-impeachment-inquiry/

How Many Republicans In Impeachment Inquiry

How Republicans Are Reacting To Developments In The Impeachment Inquiry

How many Republicans will back Trump amid impeachment inquiry?

EmbedEmbed

Republican Louisiana Sen. Bill Cassidy discussed the ongoing impeachment inquiry on Thursday.

I want to bring in NPR political reporter Tim Mak, who is on Capitol Hill and has been with us this hour, if you heard that.

Tim, what did you hear there from Senator Cassidy in terms of the message that Republicans are crafting as this inquiry moves forward?

TIM MAK, BYLINE: A few things. On process, a lot of Republicans are saying that, hey, Democrats are filled with this hatred of the president, that this process is preordained. It doesn’t matter what the substance of the president’s behavior is; they want to remove him regardless. And on the substance of the allegations against the president, Republicans have been arguing, hey, the president may have done something wrong, but he didn’t do anything particular that – in particular that was criminal.

Now, Democrats have argued that, hey, we have kept an open mind this entire process. And if you talk to a lot of leaders in the Democratic Party and the House, they will say, look – we have not wanted an impeachment process. Over the last two years – or approximately two years – a lot of Democrats have not wanted to go down this road. It’s just that, they say, the president’s behavior warrants that kind of inquiry.

KELLY: All right. Thank you for watching them for us. NPR’s Tim Mak at the Capitol. Thank you, Tim.

MAK: Thanks a lot.

White House Blasts Unfair Unconstitutional And Fundamentally Un

11:34 a.m.: Moments after Pelosi announced the passage of the resolution, the president fired off a tweet and the White House issued a lengthy statement objecting to the Democrats’ impeachment process.

“The Greatest Witch Hunt in American History!” tweeted the president, who watched the vote from the White House residence.

White House press secretary Stephanie Grisham described the Democrats’ impeachment process as “unfair, unconstitutional and fundamentally un-American,” insisting the new impeachment rules do not validate the process.

“The president has done nothing wrong, and the Democrats know it,” Grisham said in the statement. “Nancy Pelosi and the Democrats’ unhinged obsession with this illegitimate impeachment proceeding does not hurt President Trump; it hurts the American people … With today’s vote, Speaker Pelosi and the Democrats have done nothing more than enshrine unacceptable violations of due process into House rules.”

Grisham said Democrats “voted to authorize a second round of hearings that still fails to provide any due process whatsoever to the administration.”

“The Democrats want to render a verdict without giving the Administration a chance to mount a defense,” she said. “That is unfair, unconstitutional, and fundamentally un-American.” — Kathryn Watson

House Of Representatives Investigations

External video

Maguire, who had delayed the whistleblower complaint from reaching Congress, testified publicly before the House Intelligence Committee on September 26. Maguire defended his decision not to immediately forward the whistleblower complaint to Congress and explained that he had consulted the White House Counsel and the Office of Legal Counsel at the Justice Department , but was unable to determine whether the document was protected by executive privilege. Democrats on the committee questioned his actions, arguing that the law demands the forwarding of such complaints to the committee. Maguire countered that the situation was unique since the complaint involves communications of the president. Members of the House Intelligence Committee also asked Maguire why he chose to consult with White House lawyers when he was not required to do so by law, to which he responded that he believed “it would be prudent to have another opinion.”

Recommended Reading: Who Is Right Republicans Or Democrats

Mcconnell Says Democrats Setting A New Low On Impeachment

12:53 p.m.: Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell denounced House Democrats earlier on the Senate floor, criticizing them for denying the president “basic due process rights” in their upcoming resolution.

“Any such inquiry must be conducted by the highest standards of fairness and due process, but thus far this time around instead of setting a high bar, House Democrats seem determined to set a new low,” McConnell said. “‘No due process now, maybe some later, but only if we feel like it’ is not a standard that should ever be applied to any American and it should not be applied here to the president of the United States.” — John Nolen

Witnesses Scheduled To Testify Next Week

9:49 a.m.: An official working on the impeachment inquiry confirmed the following witnesses are expected to testify in closed session on Monday, November 4:

John Eisenberg, deputy counsel to the president for national security affairs and legal adviser to the National Security Council

Robert Blair, assistant to the president and senior adviser to the acting chief of staff

Michael Ellis, senior associate counsel to the president and deputy legal adviser to the National Security Council

Brian McCormack, associate director for natural resources, energy and science at the Office of Management and Budget

Blair was originally expected to testify on Friday, November 1. — Rebecca Kaplan

You May Like: Did Trump Say Republicans Are Stupid

Limbaugh Wrongly Claims Republicans Are Being Shut Out Of Impeachment Hearings

Conservative radio host Rush Limbaugh wrongly claimed that House Democrats leading the impeachment inquiry of President Donald Trump are keeping Republicans out of their hearings.

More than 40 Republican lawmakers disrupted witness testimony on Oct. 23 by storming a secure room and chanting, “Let us in!”Manynewsoutlets and topDemocrats quickly pointed out that roughly a dozen of the protesting Republicans already had access to the depositions they were demanding to hear.

Still, Limbaugh and others have charged that Republicans have been shut out of the Houses impeachment inquiry into Trumps actions on Ukraine.;

“The thing that, of course, is top-drawer today and has been all week is what little Adam pencil-neck Schiff is doing behind closed doors in a so-called impeachment inquiry that doesnt feature the opposition party, it doesnt feature cross-examination, no transcripts are released, everythings being done in private, only selected leaks, you know the drill,” Limbaugh;said Oct. 25;on his radio show.

Limbaughs comments were made before House Speaker Nancy Pelosis to bring the probe to a more open phase, starting with an on a resolution to affirm the ongoing investigation and start public hearings.

Limbaugh, who did not respond to requests for comment, has a point that the impeachment hearings have so far taken place behind closed doors, without transcripts being formally released. ;

Featured Fact-check

White House Official Wasn’t Concerned Anything Illegal Occurred On Trump’s Ukraine Call

1:24 p.m.: Tim Morrison, the outgoing National Security Council official who listened to President Trump’s July call with the president of Ukraine, told lawmakers he “promptly” brought concerns about the call to White House lawyers, but did not think “anything illegal was discussed.”

CBS News learned the substance of his opening statement to the committees, which ran six pages. Morrison said the summary released by the White House of the call between Mr. Trump and Ukrainian President Volodymyr Zelensky accurately reflects his memory and understanding of the call, but said he had three concerns about a potential leak of the summary.

“irst, how it would play out in Washington’s polarized environment; second, how a leak would affect the bipartisan support our Ukrainian partners currently experience in Congress; and third, how it would affect the Ukrainian perceptions of the U.S.-Ukraine relationship,” Morrison told lawmakers. “I want to be clear, I was not concerned that anything illegal was discussed.”

Read his full statement here.

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Giuliani Ally Says He’ll Testify About Alleged Ukraine Role In 2016 Election

From CNNs Mary Ilyushina in Kiev, Ukraine

Former Ukrainian diplomat Andriy Telizhenko told CNN today that hes been;contacted by US Senate staff and has agreed to be interviewed on the topics of “Ukraine,;2016 election and DNC.

Earlier today, Republican lawmakers, who chair three Senate committees, announced today they were;seeking the interview to examine what they allege were efforts in 2016 to undermine the Trump;campaign.

Telizhenko is a former junior diplomat who previously worked in the Ukrainian Embassy in;Washington and has promoted a debunked conspiracy theory that Ukraine, not Russia,;conspired to interfere in the 2016 US presidential election.

He previously told CNN he spent about six hours in New York with President Trumps personal lawyer Rudy Giuliani in May this year and;discussed a range of issues including the business dealings of Hunter Biden in Ukraine as;well as what he called the DNC Ukraine collusion.

Telizhenko has been been attending meetings with Giuliani in Kiev this week as part of;Giulianis trip to Europe;in a continued bid to dig dirt on Trumps political rivals.

Did Americans Support Impeaching Trump

Under pressure to defend Trump, GOP lawmakers decry House impeachment inquiry

A calculation of support for and opposition to impeachment, accounting for each poll’s quality, recency and sample size, from Mar. 1, 2019, to Feb. 13, 2020

We collected all the polls we could find that asked respondents some version of a yes-or-no question about whether they supported impeaching Trump, though some polls also gave respondents a dont know or no opinion option. If the same poll asked more than one impeachment question , we included both questions, but the results of those questions were averaged together, then input into the model, so the poll was not double counted.

The buttons below the impeachment tracker allow you to toggle between three separate views: First, the default view is an average of all polls asking about the impeachment process. The other two views filter the polls to show you a subset of all impeachment polls. The middle button shows an average of polls that asked whether respondents supported Congress beginning an impeachment inquiry or whether they approved of the impeachment process. The final button shows an average of polls that asked whether respondents thought Trump should be impeached or impeached and removed; this view also includes polls conducted after the Houses impeachment vote about whether respondents approved of the vote.

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Efforts To Impeach Barack Obama

This article is part of a series about

e

During Barack Obama‘s tenure as President of the United States from 2009 to 2017, certain Republican members of Congress, as well as Democratic congressman Dennis Kucinich, stated that Obama had engaged in impeachable activity and that he might face attempts to remove him from office. Rationales offered for possible impeachment ranged from Obama allowing people to use bathrooms based on their gender identity, to the 2012 Benghazi attack, to Obama’s enforcement of immigration laws, and false claims that he was born outside the United States.

Multiple surveys of U.S. public opinion found that a near supermajority of Americans rejected the idea of impeaching Obama, though a bit more than a simple majority of Republicans did support such efforts. For example, CNN found in July 2014 that 57% of Republicans supported impeachment, but in general, 65% of American adults, disagreed with impeachment with only 33% supporting such efforts.

House Votes To Impeach Trump But Senate Trial Unlikely Before Bidens Inauguration

9. Rep. John Katko, New Yorks 24th: Katko is a moderate from an evenly divided moderate district. A former federal prosecutor, he said of Trump: It cannot be ignored that President Trump encouraged this insurrection. He also noted that as the riot was happening, Trump refused to call it off, putting countless lives in danger.

10. Rep. David Valadao, Californias 21st: The Southern California congressman represents a majority-Latino district Biden won 54% to 44%. Valadao won election to this seat in 2012 before losing it in 2018 and winning it back in the fall. Hes the rare case of a member of Congress who touts his willingness to work with the other party. Of his vote for impeachment, he said: President Trump was, without question, a driving force in the catastrophic events that took place on January 6. He added, His inciting rhetoric was un-American, abhorrent, and absolutely an impeachable offense.

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Trump Impeachment May Define The Future Of A Divided Republican Party

WASHINGTON With the impeachment vote Wednesday, Republicans stand on the brink of a historic decision over whether to punish or protect a president who many say incited a deadly mob to overrun the U.S. Capitol in a push to overturn the election result.

The decision could define the party and shape American democracy for generations to come.

Ten House Republicans voted for impeachment, most notably the third-ranking member, Liz Cheney of Wyoming, who said President Donald Trump “lit the flame of this attack” and who accused him of an unprecedented “betrayal” of his oath to the Constitution.

The other Republicans who voted to impeach were John Katko of New York, Adam Kinzinger of Illinois, Fred Upton of Michigan, Jaime Herrera Beutler of Washington, Dan Newhouse of Washington, Peter Meijer of Michigan, Tom Rice of South Carolina, Anthony Gonzalez of Ohio and David Valadao of California.

Schiff: Democrats Take No Joy In Continuing With Impeachment Inquiry

12:36 p.m.: Speaking to reporters after the vote on the impeachment resolution, Intelligence Committee Chairman Adam Schiff said Democrats “take no joy” in continuing with the impeachment inquiry.

“This is a solemn day in the history of our country,” Schiff said. “We take no joy in having to move down this road and proceed with the impeachment inquiry, but neither do we shrink from it.”

Schiff also said Republicans will have equal opportunity to question witnesses as Democrats in open hearings, in accordance with the rules established in the resolution. He noted that most of the Republicans “who have been permitted to attend have failed to attend” ongoing closed hearings.

In the same press conference, Rules Committee Chairman James McGovern said the passage of the resolution was historic.

“I truly believe that one hundred years from now, that historians will look back and judge us by the decisions we are making today,” McGovern said. — Grace Segers

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Pelosi Says Nothing Less Than Our Democracy At Stake

10:19 a.m.: Pelosi, appearing next to a poster-sized American flag, took to the floor and read from the preamble to the Constitution to lay out the stakes of the impeachment inquiry.

“This is something that is very solemn, that is prayerful,” Pelosi said. “I doubt anybody in this place, or anybody that you know, comes to Congress to take the oath of office, comes to Congress to impeach the president of the United States, unless his actions are jeopardizing our honoring our oath of office.”

“Today the House takes the next step forward as we establish the procedures for open hearings,” she said. “What is at stake is nothing less than our democracy.” — Stefan Becket

Gop Rep Reveals How Many Colleagues Actually Believe Trumps Election Conspiracies

Rep. Adam Kinzinger said Friday that only a handful of his Republican colleagues in the House actually believe ex-President Donald Trumps election lies.

The vast majority of House Republicans, Kinzinger told CNNs Jake Tapper, were simply boarding the Trump train in a desperate bid to preserve their jobs.

How many actually believe it? Five, probably, if that, maybe? I dont know, but its in the single, its low, said Kinzinger, a vocal critic of Trump who defied his party to;vote for the impeachment of the former president for inciting the deadly U.S. Capitol riot.

People dont believe it, he continued. But what they are doing is theyre sitting around saying, I need to continue to exist in this job so that I can make an impact. I dont have the courage or the strength or the ability to swing this party, so Im going to just kinda put my head down and go along.

Some people have made the decision that grabbing onto the Trump train again, even though its been derailed, is the best way for us to push whatever, Kinzinger added. Others, meanwhile, just want to destroy the place.

Kinzinger said GOP backing of Trumps conspiracy theories may give the party a temporary hit, maybe youll win the majority, I dont think you will.

But I guarantee you in the long arc of history, this is not going to bode well for Republicans, he added.

Watch the video here:

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Move Marks First Significant Vote Since Probe Began Into Trumps Call For Ukraine To Investigate Joe Biden

WASHINGTONThe House passed a resolution almost entirely along party lines to initiate the public phase of an inquiry into President Trumps dealings with Ukraine, setting a blueprint for the fourth presidential impeachment investigation in U.S. history.

The 232-196 vote underscored the sharp partisan divide in Washington over impeachment. All Democrats but two supported the measure while all Republicans rejected it. The Houses one independent, Rep. Justin Amash of Michigan, voted yes.

Public Debate Over Impeachment Demands

Will Any Republicans In Congress Support The Impeachment Inquiry?

In terms of background, U.S. public opinion widely opposed efforts made to impeach previous Presidents Bill Clinton and George W. Bush. CNN Polling Director Keating Holland has stated that their organization found that 69% opposed impeaching President Bush in 2006.

According to a July 2014 YouGov poll, 35% of Americans believed President Obama should be impeached, including 68% of Republicans. Later that month, a CNN survey found that about two thirds of adult Americans disagreed with impeachment efforts. The data showed intense partisan divides, with 57% of Republicans supporting the efforts compared to only 35% of independents and 13% of Democrats.

On July 8, 2014, the former Governor of Alaska and 2008 RepublicanVice Presidential nomineeSarah Palin publicly called for Obama’s impeachment for “purposeful dereliction of duty”. In a full statement, she said: “Itâs time to impeach; and on behalf of American workers and legal immigrants of all backgrounds, we should vehemently oppose any politician on the left or right who would hesitate in voting for articles of impeachment.”

Andrew McCarthy of the National Review wrote the book Faithless Execution: Building the Political Case For Obama’s Impeachment, which argued that threatening impeachment was a good way to limit executive action by Obama .

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[chmergess4ever]

Only Forever (Part 1)

Story # 2 of the night!!! So I’ll preface this by saying that writing about this video is something that I’ve wanted to do for a very long time. Just didn’t really know how to do it or where to go with it, but I have a pretty good idea so I’m going to run with it. There is a 2-3 min video on youtube of paparazzi talking to Val and Sharna where he mentions the bikini picture of her in hawaii. If you haven’t seen the video, I think it’s a must watch for this story (and in general for a chmergess shipper) so I’m going to copy the link! The first chapter is going to stem around that! Also, the story is going to start out with it seeming like it’s going to be about Sharna and Artem, but I promise it’s not! Enjoy! Let me know what you think!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hJVtib2pwn8&t=78s

“Red Velvet! Red Velvet! Red Velvet!” The crowd was cheering as they danced together, screaming their ship name, along with their individual names. The energy in the room was intense so made everything come across as much more intense. The show had gone great, but everyone was super tired so after briefly stopping at the buses they all went on the bus and started a movie. Sharna sat next to Artem who had his arm up on the ledge that was behind her. He tapped her on the shoulder and whispered to her, “You know what one of the fans just asked me outside?”

“Why we dont date each other?”

“How’d you know?”

“They asked me the same thing.” Sharna patted his leg and laughed as he threw his head back and shook his head. “So what’d did you say?” He asked her.

“I said that we’ve been friends for a long time and it wouldn’t be worth ruining that.”

“You think it would be ruining what we have?”

Sharna turned more into him realizing that it seemed as if Artem’s feelings on the situation were changing, “Artem, I know it would be ruining what we have.”

“You don’t know that. We can try.”

“I do know that. I do.”

“How? Tell how you would possibly know that?”

“Because-” She lowered her voice even further. “Because I’ve had it happen before.”

“With who? What do you mean?”

“Ok, if I tell you something, you have to promise that you will not tell as soul.”

“Cross my heart.”

Sharna looked down in her lap and then up at him, “I used to have a thing with Val”

“What?” Artem yelled out. Everyone on the bus looked at them, “Sorry” He said lower and then turned back to Sharna. “You’re kidding.”

“I’m not.”

“Well you didn’t ruin anything. You and Val are still best friends.”

“I mean, I guess. But, it’s different. It’s not so much that it ruined our friendship for the two of us together, but more so that it changed our chemistry when either of us are in a relationship. Because we’re not technically exes but when we have others it certainly feels like we are and that we shouldn’t talk to each other. It affected us that way.”

“But Val’s with Jenna now, and she doesn’t treat you weird-” Artem took note of Sharna’s reaction, “She doesn’t know? Does she?”

Sharna shook her head slowly. “Oh my god. Sharna.” Artem covered his mouth.

“Me and Val talked about it but we decided that it would just hurt her more to know. And then we can act like our normal selves with each other.”

Artem was quiet, “I’m sorry. This is just a lot to take in.”

“You promised you wouldn’t tell anyone.”

“And I won’t.”

Sharna turned away from him thinking that the conversation was over but then she heard him talk again, “How did that happen?”

She turned to him and slid in closer so she wouldn’t have to whisper as loudly, “You really want to know all the details?”

“Got nothing better to do.”

During season 19 of Dancing with the Stars, the dancers had all decided they were going to go out to celebrate one of their shows. They all went to mixology-Maks and Peta, Derek and Hayley, Emma and Sasha, Artem and Tori, Lindsay and Sam, and Witney and Carson. Sharna and Val had been invited but were the only two who weren’t in a relationship as the other single dancers already had plans for the night. Serge had tagged along but mostly stayed with Maks and Peta. They had bought a table for the night so some were sitting in the booth while others were dancing. Drinks came one after another after another.

“So there was this one point, where mostly everyone was on the dancefloor-I think you and Tori had left- and It was just me and Val sitting in the booth. We were playing a game, taking a shot everytime we didn’t want to answer a personal question about our past relationships. So as you can imagine, we got buzzed pretty fast.”

“Ok, so what was wrong with Paul? Thought you were going to marry him.” Val poured another shot from the bottle of tequila.

She looked at him knowingly, and lifted the shot glass, raising it in the air and throwing it back in one gulp. “I’d rather take 100 shots than answer that question.”

“Fair enough.” Val pour another one into her glass. “Anyone you’re interested in now?”

She looked at him and raised her glass again, “You are trying to kill me.” She threw back the shot.

“Seriously. You can’t answer that question? What am I going to do?”

“There’s one guy. But it would never happen so I don’t think about it.”

“Who is it?”

Sharna took another shot getting herself to the point of no return, “I’m. looking. at . him.”

“So then he said, “Me?” and I nodded. Given I was worse than him, I thought when he answered he would be in his right mind. He said, “You want to give it try?” I stared back and him and smiled, thinking that he was joking.”

“So then what happened?” Artem leaned on his hand as he rested his arm on the ledge of the couch.

Val got up, looking for Serge, he found him and patted his shoulder, “Yo. I’m leaving- if you want a ride.”

Serge nodded and followed him back to the table. Val put his arms around Sharna’s waist as they walked out of the restaurant, and turned to Serge who was signaling to him to explain what was happening. They walked out of the restaurant and were greeted with a ton of paparazzi.

“And I’m sure you’ve seen the video on youtube. That’s what really happened that night.”

Artem laughed, “I actually haven’t seen it.”

Sharna looked at him to make sure he was being serious but then she reluctantly pulled out her phone and googled the video. She hit play and then covered her eyes halfway as she showed Artem.

Sharna walked out of the restaurant, “Hey Guys.” Serge took her hand to keep her from talking as much as possible as Val went to get the car.

There is a lot of you out here tonight!” Sharna exclaimed. “He did so well tonight, I’m so proud of him.” 

Artem continued watching the video and laughed and how far gone Sharna was when she was having a conversation with the paparazzi. But he stopped laughing when it got to the part with Val so he could hear.

“Ohh we’re doing the bikini shot?!” She asked the photographer as she signed the picture.

“Yooo, is that Hawaii right there?!?” He asked as he threw his arm around her.

“This is not hawaii, this is like 5 pounds before Hawaii.” They all started laughing and Val pointed at the picture, “I like that tho.”

“Oh you like it?” She looked up at him.

“That’s way better. Way better.”

Artem paused it at that point, “What did he say in your ear?”

“Something that will remain only for my ears. Then he asked me if I had money to tip the valet.”

Artem played the video again and watched as Val’s car was pulled up and three of them walked to it. 

Val told Serge, “You’re in the backseat.” and they walked until they all got in the car. They were dancing, talking to the paparazzi who said, “where are you going, you going home?”

Sharna shrugged and turned to Val who got asked the question again, he nodded silently and timidly and then he soon after, drove off.

Artem put the phone down, “So he wasn’t driving you home-”

“He was taking me home.” She spoke to him slowly.

“And I’m assuming you guys had-”

“We did. A lot. That night was the start to when our relationship took a turn in that direction.”

“How long did that go on for?”

“A couple of weeks. Until I got back with Paul. Which was my stupid ass decision.”

“What do you mean?”

“I always go back and question whether I would be dating Val today if I hadn’t gone back with Paul. It seems like that was the direction it was headed.”

“Was that the last time you were with Val?”

“No, it used to be a pretty on/off thing, now it’s off and it’s staying off cause he’s with Jen.”

“But if he was single you’d want him?”

“Maybe. I guess I always was thinking of something more when we were doing our thing. I know we would have worked. But it’s a mute point because he’s not single. And the entire point of this conversation was to steer you away from wanting to do whatever with me.”

“Sharna, you’re just letting him go? I love Jen, you know I do. But you should talk to him.”

“Out of the question.”

“Sharna. Please tell him. I know Val and I know what he would want to know.”

“Nope.”

“You tell him or I will.”

“You promised you wouldn’t.”

“That was before, I knew that I had two friends who were in love with each other.”

“I never said love.”

“It’s love. I know it. And he told me the same thing.”

“What?”

“When he first got back with Jen, we were talking about relationships and he said he had a girl who he was only sleeping with in between relationships but that he had always thought about having more with her. He said he didn’t think that she felt the same way.”

“No he didn’t.” She said doubtingly.

“You need to tell him, Sharna.”

“I can’t do that to Jen. She’s one of my best friends. And it would destroy her.”

“Didn’t destroy Emma when she found out you had been with Sash.”

“Also wasn’t in love with Sash!” Sharna said back to him without realizing what she had said but when she did, all she could say was, “Oh shit.”

“Talk to him. I’m done with this conversation until you do.”

“Artem.”

“Sharna.”

[onceawasteland]

NATASHA, PIERRE AND THE GREAT COMET OF 1812 (August 11th 2017, and August 12th 2017) there are spoilers to come but i felt you would all appreciate my take on the show for I have greatly appreciated everyone else's reviews. THIS STORY IS THE BEST THING TO EVER HAPPEN TO ME AND I CANNOT BELIEVE THAT IT IS CLOSING. the above are pictures from my two respective seats and at the stage door Act One * the walls are covered in portraits from the 1800s, some of which are landscapes of operas) * i danced (badly) on a broadway stage * to get to the on stage seating you enter through lucas' door * while waiting for the show to start old russian music is playing. they also played some french music bc they were francophiles YAY FOR HISTORY * a lady behind me said "omg look at how they did the staging... i guess its pretty clear that theres not a lot of dancing in this show. and i about died laughing * during prologue Cathryn squeaked on the clarinet as she ran down the stairs and my best friend is a clarinet player so this made her RIDICULOUSLY happy * OAK LOOKED RIGHT AT ME DURING MY FAVORITE PART OF PIERRE WHICH IS MY FAVORITE SONG (You empty and stupid, contented fellows. satisfied with your place, im different from you im different from you. i stilll want to do something) * during pierre, pierre sings the part, "and how many men before good russian men, believing in goodness and truth" right to Anatole (who is in the main spot light) and a bunch of other dudes including Dolokohv * Anatole is wasted pretty much the whole show but he this is when you first notice it and lucas was sitting on the stairs right next to me and he kind of drunkenly slipped before he ran to the other side of the stage and i was like 😍😍 * Deneé was on our side of the stage pretty much the whole show and she looked me straight in the eyes about 15 times * during the very beginning of no one else when the music just starts to play Deneé walks with very youthful steps and it just emphasizes her innocence and lack of awareness and just EVERYTHING ABOUT THIS PLAY IS MAGIC * no one else is the most beautiful thing i have ever seen (well kind of if you dont count the great comet of 1812) The independent lightbulbs which are hanging from the ceiling all kind of drop so it kind of looks like Natasha is floating among the stars * when deneé sang "we were angles once dont you remember" the second night i was there the guy she was singing to on stage right said yes and you could hear it in her mike 😂 * also during no one else, when Deneé sings "this winter sky" she is standing on the top tier of stairs and she flings her arms out gesturing to the sky and the blue light of the moon is the only real light on her and it is quite simply breathtaking * andrei shows up 3-4 times during act one and its super sad every time. the first one (i think, from my vantage point) was during no one else when Natasha is squeezing her knees. Andrei is holding her letters in his hand and then he puts them in his coat pocket right next to his heart and i want to die. * at the beginning of the opera when Dolokohv is introduced he is so ridiculously arrogant and its adorable. Dolokohv in general is pretty fucking adorable. He points at the mezzanine and smirks and its beautiful * at the opera when Natasha says "a little sad a little stout" pierre is in the parlor which is right between natasha and Marya, and Helene and he makes this face like "wtf dude we should be bros" and he is playing the accordion and he pulls it in a way that the note declines and its just this hilarious moment * during the opera andrei shows up covered in blood right after Natasha sees Anatole is staring at her and its so depressing and also NICHOLAS BELTON OMG * Andrei also shows up during Natasha and Anatole (ok my heart 💔) * pierre is reading in his study through almost the entire show * So i heard this before and i didnt believe it bc you cant tell from just the music but the way that lucas plays Anatole is just so complex i love it. During, Natasha and Anatole he is a. really surprised at the amount that he isnt being rebuffed. and b. he has all these nervous tics before he enters the box all the way and makes his presence known and it just adds so much to the character because while yes he is the bad guy he isnt evil he is just unaware of everyone else. * he also tries to convince himself that he isnt doing anything wrong during "we are speaking of the most ordinary things" he wasnt trying to convince her HE WAS TRYING TO CONVINCE HIMSELF * and then RIGHT WHEN SHE SAYS "yet I feel closer to you thank Ive ever felt with any other man" he just looks so happy and surprised * Right before Anatole goes to talk to Pierre during the duel he does this mind blown motion after watching natasha exit and its so fucking cute * DOLOKOHV'S "DRINK DRINK"s AT THE BEGINNING OF THE DUEL HAPPENED AS HE RAN UP THE STAIRS RIGHT NEXT TO ME AND I DIED BC HOLY FUCK NICK CHOKSI * I know you all already know this but the strobe lights are the most badass thing i have ever seen in my life. i straight up thought i was going to die they are SO intense. and during the ohohohohohs at the beginning lucas and nick did this hoping dance and i was like 😍 and its so cool bc of the strobe lights and I WILL NEVER GET OVER THE STROBE LIGHTS HOLY FUCK * the second night i saw it, i cant remember who it was but, someone literally almost kicked me in the face from the stage section right in front of me * during the line "then i feel a pleasant warmth in my body" LUCAS DOES A BODY ROLE AND IT IS SO RIDICULOUSLY HOT I CANNOT EVEN DESCRIBE IT * OK OAK! this is the moment i was like FUCK ME GENTLY WITH A CHAINSAW THIS BOY IS A GIFT FROM HEAVEN. When Dolokohv is singing "heres to the health of married women" he is talking directly into pierre's face trying to bro out, and oak's face just falls completely and im like I NEED TO GIVE YOU A HUG DONT BE SAD. then, THENNNNN Dolokohv actually goes and makes out with helene two feet away from him and the hurt on oaks face was so raw i just 😭 * during the duel it is super obvious that Helene actually cares about Pierre because when she see that he hit Dolokohv shes more worried about the retribution than she is about dolokohv and i just want to die bc these characters are so fucking complex and BEAUTIFULLLLL * Dust and Ashes IS THE MOST BEAUTIFUL SONG AND OAK SINGS IT SO WELL AND I DIDNT KNOW THAT THE SONGS COULD GET BETTER BUT HE DID AND I WANT TO DIE * Dust and Ashes is my best friends favorite song and Oak looked directly at her during her favorite line too and its like he fucking knew we were sitting there * during sunday morning Sonya is trying to imitate Marya by sitting exactly like her and that is so great * Charming is gay. that is all there is to say really, just GAYYYYY * and Natasha imitates Helene at the end of Charming which again shows her innocence (SCREAMING) * she then makes the most adorable "well if you say so face" during "but still she talks so frankly. so it must be alright" and she kind of shrugs and AGHHHH * at the beginning if the ball Anatole, again, has all sorts of nervous energy and hes pacing and bouncing on the balls of his feet shaking his hands. and it just adds so much depth. * the ball was really distracting the first night bc two people (cant say who they were bc they are in huge ass masks) were dancing like 6 inches away from me and kept breathing in my ear. I am not complaining. * Lucas turns around with his hands up in a surrender pose like "i didnt do anything what are you saying" when natasha says "your hurting my hand" which i love. then he runs up and just grabs her bodily, turns her to him and smashes his lips on to hers. they stay like that for like 4 seconds and then natasha throws herself on top of him, essentially, and he kind of spins them around and its really kind of romantic (i am not a shipper of the two, except that i maybe kind of am after seeing how they interact with eachother) * Natasha kind of freaks out after the kiss but she is convinced that there is nothing else for her now but anatole and its like GIRLLLLL * Lucas and Deneé leave the stage arm and arm through the big door at the back with the same white lights that Anatole entered with. ACT 2 VERY FIRST THING THAT HAPPENED IN ACT TWO. LUCAS STEELE STARED INTO MY EYES FOR A SOLID 6 SECONDS AND SMIRKED AT ME AN I DIED AND MY FACE PROBABLY LOOKED SO DUMB BUT I DONT CARE BECAUSE AGHH In Letters when pierre says IT IS NAPOLEON the portrait of napoleon on the wall lit up and i cried andrei was there during all of letters and it was so depressing BECAUSE YOU KNOW WHATS COMING AND AGH. right before sonya and natasha sonya and anatole glare at eachother as lucas exists and then sonya runs to grab the letter from natasha's hand. DENEÉ'S SASS DURING THE LINE "I do not grasp the question" is fucking epic. she roles her eyes and its perfection during Sonya alone Igrid Michaelson was literally three feet away. and the lights didnt light up behind denee and i was like ohhh someone messed up. Dolokohv was trying insanely hard to convince anatole not to go through with the abduction and his turmole was very evident. at one point denee walk across the stage and he looked between her and anatole, ran his hand through his hair and then just gives in and follows. Anatole is v annoyed with Dolokohv during preparations. while dolokohv is speaking he is mouthing along like "shut up bro you dont know wtf youre saying" its very funny balaga: there are no words just so much happened paul pinto is a beast i dont even know how he does it. ok on night two i tried write down things from balaga Heath whipped me in the face with his hair as he was head banging on the stage in front of me. marya plays the drums at the top of the stage #GRACEMcLEANISAGODDESS andrei is present through most of act two. he is playing the triangle in pierre's study during balaga OAK DOES THE MOST ADORABLE LAUGH AFTER HIS "WooooOOOOOOAHHH" in abduction. he makes me want to die Lucas' "WAAAAAAIIIT first we have to sit down" is hilarious because the amount of time that he just sits there in silence flirting with this random lady on stage is ridiculous. he messes with his hair and puts his arm around her while we (i) all just sit there staring at him with doppy smiles on our (my) faces. on night two he sat next to a guy on the stage and i really thought he was going to flirt with him as well but alas dolokohv's fur cloak bit is very funny and the cloak is purple which is not what i imagined. again i will say that he is adorable anatole makes out with the fur cloak girl before going to get natasha. boi Grace McLean's in my house is not just angry she is also devastated that natasha is to be ruined. her face is contorted with pain in almost every line. and she is pleading with natasha to listen to her. her vocals are just so insane just OMG the blocking during in my house was also insanely cool. sonya, natasha, and Marya are standing in a a triangle the whole time (denee was RIGHT in front of me for the majority of the time) and they would switch which point of the triangle they were at and the rotation was very neat. I REALIZED LATER THAT THIS IS A PARALLEL TO MOSCOW BECAUSE THEY ARE STANDING IN A TRIANGLE THEN TOO AND OMG THIS SHOW DOES LITERALLY EVERYTHING RIGHT in call to pierre, oaks first what, when pinto gives him the letter is like "wtf is going on here im nobody whats going on" and despite being very depressing is also kind of funny. the whats then progressively get less funny and more depressing and i HATE THAT THIS HAPPENS TO MY CHILDREN NICHOLAS BELTON WAS RIGHT NEXT TO ME ON THE SECOND NIGHT DURING CALL TO PIERRE AND HE KIND OF RUNS AND HIDES BEHIND A POST IN THE BACK OF THE THEATER AS PIERRE LEARSN WHAT HAPPENED TO NATASHA. pierre went to find anatole in the club all of the ensemble were surrounding the walls of the theater and it felt like we were actually in the club which was insane after "NATASH, NATASHA. IT IS ESSENTIAL THAT I SEE NATASHA" Anatole throws his head down into helene's lap and i read somewhere that "they downplayed the incest" BUT I CALL BULL SHIT I DIDNT SAY THIS EARLIER BUT DURING THE DUEL AT THE LINE "Imma make love to her" AMBER IS GRINDING ON LUCAS SO I CALL BULL FUCKING SHIT anatole is also really distraught. its super weird bc with just the music to go off of you think anatole is just this jackass that wants nothing but to feel good and fuck everyone else... BUT LUCAS OMG lucas makes him sympathetic. he seems to really love natasha and when pierre is yelling at him he takes it to heart and freaks the hell out and just my love (i mean still a dick but) pierre and anatole is so fucking intense. and the ending if it when anatole is being a whiny baby IT IS SO GREAT BC ITS SO CLEAR HE IS THROWING A TEMPER TANTRUM which emphasizes his age and lack of understanding as well WHICH IS JUST SO FUCKING GREAT. Anatole's exit is almost an exact reflection of his entrance. with the lights flaring as he walks out the door everyone talks about this but when natasha poisons herself shes right between anatole and pierre and its so depressing and just my heart pierre and andrei is so fucking sad. first off in the book (which is all about redemption, ill get to that) Andrei gets the BEST most beautiful redemption arc, and ive always been kind if sad that they took that out. everyone else gets at least the possibility of redemption and they just straight up removed every possibility of andrei finding forgiveness. but whatever this is the song that made me start crying, i didnt stop until i was standing at the stage door both nights. ITS JUST SO FUCKING SAD AND I DONT EVER WANT TO FORGET NICHOLAS BELTON STANDING ON THE STAGE "smiling like his father" AS HE COMES TO TERMS WITH THIS BETRAYAL. OAK! OAKKKKKK. I did not know that pierre could get better i thought we had reached maximum amazing but HOLY SHIT. first off the whole time he was hilarious. at the beginning of the Duel when he said opera he satirized the word and drew it out kind of long which was hilarious. and other little moments while he was in his parlor. BRILLIANT. and then AND THEN DURING PIERRE AND NATASHA. i have no words the whole thing was heart breaking. I started crying during Pierre and Andrei and I didnt stop until the end, at the stage door, but holy fuck. after he says his line (you all know the one) i could SEE this singular tear fall from his face and god damn if that wasnt the most heart wrenching thing i have ever seen. he was full on sobbing on stage and i could not handle it. During Pierre and Natasha, Helene, Marya, and Dolokohv were sitting in the audience sections and Helene was crying, dolokohv was strumming his guitar and looking very depressed and Marya just sat there shaking her head. Im not sure if other people were around too but those were the three i could see. during great comet everything is just so beautiful. oaks acting and gestures made everything 100102948391x better but the lighting was INSANE. the comet was beautiful the stars were beautiful, oak was beautiful. one of the MOST stunning plays I have EVER seen in so many ways. a person is not supposed to cry 6 times during a show... it requires magic and this show had it in bucket loads. STAGE DOOR DAY ONE: I MISSED GRACE MCLEAN BC I WAS DISTRACTED AND I WILL NEVER FORGIVE MYSELF AGHWHSHF Lucas must be on voice rest bc he wasnt saying anything but HE WAS SO CUTE AND IM DYING BC HE TOUCHED ME. (also i became like ridiculously starstruck and forgot that i wanted to tell him how much his acting adds to the lyrics and the character and how he is so much more sympathetic because he genuinely loves natasha and just doesn't demonstrate that in a good way, i will also. ever forgive myself for that) there was a little girl next to me at the stage door and the actresses were all being so encouraging to her. they were like "if you want to be an actress DO IT, I was right where you were once and now im here. you have it in you, just dont ever give up." and i wanted to cry bc OH JESUS THEY ARE SUCH GOOD PEOPLE. Paul Pinto is THE MOST™. i absolutely love it even after the show he had SO much energy. i was like 😮 how. Nick Choksi is adorable and wears so much eyeliner and he also talked to the little girl next to me about how excited he would be to see her name up on a marquee one day and i cried. I have no idea what I said to him bc again i was starstruck. My best friend died a little bc she loves him and i think it was honestly one of the best moments of her life. Amber, Oak, and Denee didnt come out (sobs) but APPARENTLY Renee Elise Goldsberry was there to congratulate Oak and support him and i was to cry again. OK DAY TWO STAGE DOOR: * this was a scary night for me * i got into a fight with a man because he was being exceptionally rude to the actors and i called him out on it and he started screaming at me and then he started pushing this other lady right when Shoba was signing in front of us and she looked so scared and i feel so fucking bad * also his daughter was obviously a huge fan of the show and was so excited to see the cast and when he got kicked out she was sobbing and i will maybe never forgive myself for ruining this girls night on broadway but someone needed to say something. he was straight up making fun of the cast as they were three feet away from him and the final straw for me was when he said "some one needs to go in there and grab that blond bitch by the hair and drag her out here. if no one else will ill do it" and so i turned around and said "excuse me sir would you mind turning down the vulgarity. it's incredibly disrespectful" and he said some of the meanest things i have ever heard from another person (called me a bitch, told me i would always be alone, tried to intimidate me by saying he was three times my age... i was just like that says more about you than it does about me man) any way the security guy (idk his name but i love him) got him to leave and then once he was gone i started crying bc everyone around me was patting me on the back trying to make me feel better and that makes me cry apparently. * SO THEN ANGLE MAN MCSECURITY came over and tried to cheer me up as did many other people which really only made it worse but everyone was being so kind and trying to distract me and finally i said "FUCK IT I CANT BE CRYING WHEN LUCAS STEELE COMES OUT" and everyone laughed and i started to stop crying. OK SO WHEN LUCAS CAME OUT AND GOT TO ME ANGLE SECURITY MAN SAID "lucas just so you know this girl has had a really hard time just now. a man was being very confrontational with her in the crowd, (wait for it) can she have a hug" and lucas stared into my eyes (LMAO I AM NATASHA) and said (his voice was so raspy and he was definitely not supposed to be speaking) "im so sorry but if i hug you i have to hug everyone, im so sorry that you had an altercation. here i can do this" AND HE STARTED RUBBING MY HAND IN CIRCLES AND I ABOUT DIED and i said "its ok i totally understand, you are actually fantastic (AND I LOVE YOU, actually no i didnt say that) can i have a picture?" and he said yes (its so bad) and then went down the line more BUT HOLY FUCK * and THEN i asked the totally innocuous question to angle security man, out if curiosity not wanting to do it myself, "not to sound presumptuous or anything but how is it that people grt to go back stage at things like this?" and he said friends or family and i said ok, makes sense i was just curious. THEN HE CAME BACK 3 MINUTES LATER AND SAID "i just wanted to let you know i tried to get you back stage, my friend Summaya is in the cast would have taken you but she already left. i hope thats ok." and i just kind of stared at him bc I WASNT ASKING TO GO BACK MYSELF IT WAS A FOR FUTURE REFERENCE THING and i said "no no of course i totally understand dont worry about it" * GUESS WHAT ELSE HAPPEND BRITTAN ASHFORD WAS THERE AND WHEN SHE CAME OUT i started pointing and talking incoherently and he said, "do you want Brittan's autograph?" and i just kind of nodded and he BROUGHT HER OVER TO ME * Nicholas Belton didnt come out the stage door but he apparently was meeting up with Cathryn and a bunch of the other cast after the show bc i saw him as i was walking to my uber and i just kind if stalked him a little bit bc OMG and i love that they all go out together after the show * Anthony Ramos and Jasmine Cephas Jones were at the show to see Oak and they went in the stage door and Jasmine waved right to me after she saw me waving at her. they showed up separately and i was like OMG ARE THEY OK I HOPE THEYRE OK... but its all good * and Alex Gibbson told me that he was proud of me for having read War and Peace because his copy was collecting dust in the attic somewhere and i laughed * and BRAD GIOVANINE REMEMVERD ME at the sage door he said "hey! you were here last night werent you?" and i said "YEAH!" and he said "yes, i thought i recognized you in the audience! thank you so much for coming back" and i said "I wouldnt have missed it, thank you for telling this story" and that was a definite highlight OK SO THE REASON THAT THIS SHOW IS MAGIC: so the main message of war and peace is that people are good, and redemption, for even the most base of people, is not only possible it is probable because when you break it down we are all imbued with humanity which can triumph when/if we let it. the show doesnt necessarily show that redemptive possibility because it is the part of the story where literally everyone is at their worst. BUT the acting and intention behind the blocking and the small things show that even the very worst of characters (cough anatole, cough helene, cough dolokohv), that we really shouldnt sympathize with based on their actions, are portrayed in such a way that it is IMPOSSIBLE to not see them as, at their root, good. it is impossible to not see their humanity. their weaknesses are on full display, but those weaknesses are merely weakness. they are not evil, they are a result of circumstance and upbringing. not to mention the characters we are supposed to love... they are so easy to forgive its ridiculous in conclusion: Natasha, Pierre, and The Great Comet of 1812 is the bets musical i have ever seen. I love the cast with all of my heart because of their talent and kindness, I will NEVER forget the magic that was tonight. i CANNOT believe that this show is closing. I will never see anything like it ever again and its a travesty. I hope one day there is a revival that is this good... i have hope 🙏🏻.

[thedopesloth]

THE WORLD STILL HAVE MANY GOOD PEOPLE.

So, a few days ago, to be exact on Wednesday, May 8th 2019, morning around 7.15am, i was on my way to Pagoh. had to drive early because i had morning class. that moment, i was so happy listening to music (and singing to) to deny the fact that i wish i was still fast asleep on my bed at home. Then, suddenly, on the slow traffic "sszzup" bergesel dngn the car next to mine, which is the aunt's car. felt like, my heart just stopped beating for a sec— Shit not again!

and yep, the emergency light from her car lights up so i slowly goes to her lane and drove behind her car. she stopped in the middle of the traffic, thought it wasnt a brilliant idea. i mean, its in the middle of the road, anything could happen. Not wanting to make the case even worse so, i rolled down my window and gave hand sign to stop at the side of the road. so, she moved and i followed her behind. im no newbie in accidents lol can say, i can handle things myself now. it seemed like she didnt wanna stop, i could just take over her car and left but my parents raised me good enough for me not to do so. i gave her high beam then she stopped. Since i was in rush, came out of the car and she did too, and the first thing i said was "sorry", the aunt seemed clueless bout what just happened, terkejut kot, so i said "boleh tak saya tinggalkan nombor, and we'll just settle things through phone sbb saya in rush to class, minta maaf" and the makcik take a quick look at my car and hers and said, "ni tak kemek, gesel je ni, ok ada kertas?". rushed to my car and took out my pencil case and a cut of paper i tore from the assigment sheets i need to submit that day!!! thats all i have.

alot of mistakes the makcik made that could resulted her paying for the accident herself. if it was someone else maybe. (1)she didnt even ask for my ic or anything, and only phone number? i could give her anyone else phone number (2)not taking any picture from the accident. i could just twist the accident, manada witness. (3) no nothing. takda apa apa assurance, no photo, no photo of my driving license or ic taken. kalau i was a licenseless driver.. banyakla to list out. but above all, i have many chances to escape but what would that made me? plus the makcik has a similar look to my mom (sis tak sampai hati nak buat jahat, mcm buat jahat kat mak sendiri pulak).

long story short, so she gave her number and i gave her mine and ayah's. then, we took a seperate paths. it was so quick, nothing really fond. sbb for me its just scratches, no dent, semua boleh settle la. tapi, ye la i have to own up to my mistake and be responsible. so as soon as i have arrived to class, i MESSAGED her OKAY!! sangat noob and she replied on whatsapp terus. kau tngk aku yng noob sbnrnya bukan makcik tu. so, through whatsapp we settled things nicely la. nasib acik tu bukan the gelabah gelabah one, and bukan jenis nak mengeruhkan lagi keadaan, so everything settled smoothly. asked her living area and suggested her to send her car to our trusted workshop since its near her living area. then dah set apa semua, pagi smlm i bangun tidur around 12pm sbb lepas sahur pukul 4am tidur (DAHLA AKU TERTINGGAL SUBH ASTARGHFIRULLAH!!!) and got a ws notification. terkejut sis, tiba tiba wehh. i s2g, sis nangis sikit sbb baiknya acik ni, i mean, she could just make me pay, no problem, i understand its my mistake tapi... :")))) so thats all about it. i guess its true, kindness do bring you somewhere in this life, maybe, not necessarily all the time but it does benefit u in some ways. im just so thankful to Allah and to the makcik for the mercy. this is probably the berkat from my family's deed to anyone and not mine. im no nice, not even close.. i dont deserve this sort of thing. but anyways, im thankful, that its settled now. so i can just focus on my finals, hell lots of assignments, projects havent finished. aku rasa mati pun belum tentu habisla semua ni haa takpela student life mmng mcm ni kot. and another is, i feel like a grown up sbb 98% was settled by myself, only a little help from my brother, dealing with the workshop.

Dont get me wrong, not that im afraid to let my parents know, i just dont want them to be worried, its just a minor problem. plus, im big enough to pay for my own mistake. my parents have spent so much on me, countless minor accidents, car maintenance, speeding summons (which dah reach up to rm1800!) im not exaggerating. so i decided, ill pay by myself this time but still, i update things to my parents. my mom insisted to pay but nahh i said what i said. and yep, the end—MAY12th 2019

[mrsashketchum]

Unique questions: ALL OF THEM (Minus the one you already answered).

woooo let’s do this

thank u for asking!!

2) If you could meet anyone on this earth, who would it be?

any of you guys honestly

meeting any of u followers would be super cool

3) Grab the book nearest to you, turn to page 23, give me line 17.

(the book nearest to me is my sister’s book so it’s definitely a bit random)

“Grew regarding Major Hutter who would be the eyes and” – Quezon’s Sukiyaki (Ambeth R. Ocampo)

4) What do you think about most?

hmmmm anime, Sou, my personal art projects, the fact that i still have so much to do but i’m not doing any of them, what i’m having for dinner

5) Ever had a poem or song written about you?

definitely man, but they’re personal so i cannot disclose the info sorry o(´∀｀*)

6) Do you have any strange phobias?

err, i’m afraid of mascots and clowns, especially the ones used for like mcdonald’s or jollibee or something— basically anything that looks like they’re in a big enormous suit of a creature? it’s really weird i know but

if they ever get near me i would freak out and freeze on the spot

or if they tell me to dance with them i’d honestly die of fear

7) What’s your religion?

Christian ∩( ´∀` )∩

9) Simple but extremely complex. Favorite band?

Marianas Trench, if i had to pick only one :3

10) What was the last lie you told?

i did lie about something but i can’t tell anyone what it is because i forgot ;;

11) Do you believe in karma?

yes, especially instant karma heh

12) What does your URL mean?

mrsashketchum just means Mrs. Ash Ketchum, meaning i endowed on myself the responsibility of being this man’s wife

BUT it is not my responsibility right now, so i used the initials of the URL for my tumblr name, Mak, which i honestly would rather to be called here (i dont want to be known as Ash’s wife anymore haha;;; he’s more of my child now)

click keep reading if you would like to learn more!!

13) What is your greatest weakness; your greatest strength?

Greatest weakness: procrastination and being unmotivatedGreatest strength: drawing, or anything to do with arts

14) Who is your celebrity crush?

Eddie Redmayne!!!!! I MEAN LOOK AT HIM??? 

15) How do you vent your anger?

I usually just either keep it in or let it out regretfully :/ i also sometimes talk to people about it but it’s only sometimes…

17) Are you happy with the person you’ve become?

right now, i’m sure my past self would be very happy

19) What’s your biggest “what if”?

What if… Sou and I were still together like old times?

20) Do you believe in ghosts? How about aliens?

I believe in both of them. They’re out there. (just not the vengeful attacking kinds of ghosts? and the aliens aren’t too nasty-looking imho)

21) Stick your right arm out; what do you touch first? Do the same with your left arm.

I stuck both out and i still touched air

22) Smell the air. What do you smell?

Nothing :3

23) What’s the worst place you have ever been to?

I can’t think of somewhere that I consider the “worst”. It’s just the atmosphere and situation that makes a place bad, but right now, there’s nothing that bad

24) Most attractive singer/s of your opposite gender?

sou (i still cannot believe he’s still part of my answers…)

25) To you, what is the meaning of life?

i’m not going to think more about this so i’m just gonna leave this unanswered else i’d have to wrack my brain for why we’re alive

26) Do you drive? If so, have you ever crashed?

I do drive, I’m learning, and I almost crashed. 

27) What was the last movie you saw?

Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2! Awesome effects tbh

28) What’s the worst injury you’ve ever had?

I haven’t technically had a really bad injury, so none

30) Ever had a rumor spread about you?

i dont want to think about this o_o

31) Do you tend to hold grudges against people who have done you wrong?

Yeah, but only for a second, or if the grudges are really bad, then the most I can do (if they haven’t apologized yet) is a week, in general

33) What’s the last thing you purchased?

Bitter Sweet Love by Michael Faudet (i’m planning to give this away, because, despite its wonderful writing, some of the content isn’t something i want to keep on my shelf)

34) Love or lust?

L♡ve

35) In a relationship?

i wish;;

36) How many relationships have you had?

eh, i think just 2.

38) Where is your best friend?

in his house? lol?

39) What were you doing last night at 12 AM?

asleep >_>

40) Are you the kind of friend you would want to have as a friend?

hell yeah? but i’d be irritated by myself in no time ;;

41) You are walking down the street on your way to work. There is a dog drowning in the canal on the side of the street. Your boss has told you if you are late one more time you get fired. What do you do?

heck forget my boss and forget my job i’d risk my life for that dog

42) You are at the doctor’s office and she has just informed you that you have approximately one month to live. a) Do you tell anyone/everyone you are going to die? b) What do you do with your remaining days? c) Would you be afraid?

a) I would of course tell only the people I cared aboutb) I would get to those artworks and finally give some to my close friends (especially the ones that I owed an artwork to), and I would say parting words to my family and close friends.c) Of course, but i don’t think I would regret anything at that point

44) In your opinion, what makes a great relationship?

Trust, loyalty, patience, understanding, and of course, love.

45) How can I win your heart?

sorry i cant disclose that information as my heart is already with someone ;_;

46) Can insanity bring on more creativity?

It depends on what kind of “creative work” you’re going for

For me, I don’t really want to be insane exactly just for the sake of creativity lol

47) What is the single best decision you have made in your life so far?

This is such a hard question?

I guess the fact that i’m still drawing? Like i made the decision to not give up on it and I’m glad I’m still drawing until today

48) What would you want to be written on your tombstone?

please let me have that written on mine

50) Basic question; what’s your favorite color/colors?

I love any color in pastel !!!

one of my favorite palettes:

52) If you could press a button and make anyone in the world instantaneously explode, who would it be?

why just explode one? donald trump & mike pence?

53) What would be a question you’d be afraid to tell the truth on?

this one o_o

56) You can erase any horrible experience from your past. What will it be?

that one heartbreaking scene in my life

57) You have the opportunity to sleep with the music-celebrity of your choice. Who would it be?

none please i want to sleep alone

59) Ever been on a plane?

Yes!!

60) Give me your top 5 hottest celebrities.

omg i dont have a list sorry ;;;;

i dont necessarily find a lot of celebrities “hot”

thank you for asking !!! …all of the questions haha;; hope u have a nice day!

[amicicidalgambler]

you know what fuck it kitty did it so i have an excuse and im sick so i need something mindless to do

1: Do you have a crush at the moment? not really nah.

2: Have you ever been deeply in love? just with nadaya :3c

3: Longest relationship you’ve ever been in? id be willing to say its nad

4: Have you ever changed for someone? yyyyyyyes? shes willing to fake things she doesnt feel and play up certain parts of her personality for a relationship

5: How is your relationship with your ex? theyre all dead jim. except eridan and kanaya and she hasnt talked to kan and her relationship with eridan is Awkward

6: Have you ever been cheated on? as far as she knows no, but for the npc relationships its possible?

7: Have you ever cheated? nah

8: Would you date someone who’s well known for cheating? yeah, she doesnt really care

9: What’s the most important part of a relationship? having fun but like. said in a way that sounds like she has no fucking idea what another answer would be

10: Do you like to be in serious relationships or just flings? flings? she likes short barely committed relationships.

11: When you are dating someone do you believe in going on “breaks”? shed be okay with it. more than okay with it even. so okay with it that actually she doesnt care you can leave for a while and shell barely notice.

12: How many people have you ever hooked up with? i guess the drone thing kinda counts but none

13: What’s one thing you regret saying/doing in a previous relationship? she feels like she was a tad harsh with eridan but otherwise i cant think of anything

16: Do you believe in “love at first sight”? yes? she feels like if you meet someone and youre meant to keep talking to them youll Know

17: Do you believe it’s possible to fall in love on the internet? yeah dude

18: What do you consider a deal breaker? either not being interesting enough or outright hurting her

19: How do you know it’s time to end a relationship? vris gives up as soon as she starts feeling too bored with them, but thats the only way shes done it so otherwise she has no fuckening clue 

20: Are you currently in a relationship? ya

21: Do you think people who have dated can stay friends? when theyre not dead yes

22: Do you think people should date their friends? sure

23: How many relationships have you had? 3 since this blog started, 2 from canon, and ive fleshed out 2 of the npc relationships so that would be 7? ye

24: Do you think love can last forever? for other people yes. for her not so much.

25: Do you believe love can conquer all things? no.

27: If you could go back in time and give yourself one piece of advice about dating what would it be? the first thing that came to mind was “May8e don’t.”

28: Do you think long distance relationships can work? its kind of hard for trolls with instant transportation to do the whole ldr thing for real.

29: What do you notice first about another person? how their brain feels to her powers

30: Are you straight, bi, gay or pansexual? bi/pan and grey-aro

31: Would it bother you if your partner suffered from any mental illness? ehhhhhhh. depending on what it is it could work but dont expect her to be that helpful.

33: Do you want to get married one day? shes not really familiar with marriage but the idea of actually committing like that usually freaks her out.

34: What do you think about getting your partner’s name tattooed? n ah she doesnt even like regular tattoos

35: Could you be in a relationship without sex? she prefers it that way

36: Are you still a virgin? no but only because drones

37: What’s more important: Looks or personality? personality?

38: Do you enjoy love films? there has to be something else violent going on in the plot also but sometimes

39: Have you ever given anyone/received roses? probably has received them, probably hasnt given them

40: Have you ever had a valentine? ppprprprprprprprobably not

41: What’s your imagination of a “perfect date”? a murder date. really though shes not super picky as long as its fun and not too crowded

43: What’s more important: Your partner or your friends? mmm. she feels like your partner is supposed to be a little more important than your friends but in practice its p even for her.

44: Would you consider yourself “romantic”? half of the time yes. the other half she feels like shes Not Meant for relationships.

45: Could you imagine to date one of your current friends? yes but im not saying which one aha

48: What’s your favorite love song? meant to be yours from the heathers musical, my love wont wait by two gallants, and true love by thoushaltnot are all the ones that show up on her trntbl more than once. but im also going to add the squeaky wheel by the dear hunter

49: Have you ever broken someone’s heart? im pretty sure most of them were too busy bleeding out to be heartbroken

50: If you’re single, why do you think you are? shes single in pale because she doesnt really want a moirail? she doesnt see much reason to since she has nadaya and doesnt see her being as comfortable as someone else. then in pitch she has kind of weird needs and its hard to meet them.

51: Would you rather date someone who’s rich but a douchebag or someone who’s poor but a nice guy? like 90% of the people shes dated have been rich douchebags. also she is a rich douchebags. thats just kind of who she usually gets along with.

52: Are you good at giving other people advices regarding dating/ relationships? a broke clock is right twice a day

53: Are you jealous of couples when you’re single? ssssssssort of. she kind of flips between being repulsed by seeing other couples and being jealous

54: How important is it to make a relationship official (p.e. on facebook)? having other people know shes together with someone is important to her but there doesnt need to be any spectacle to it yknow

55: Would you consider yourself “clingy”, “overly attached” or “jealous”? vriska can get really fucking jealous in the wrong circumstances. like “i want to kill your other mates” jealous. shes not super clingy though she can only talk to her mate once every couple of weeks and be fine. it can be better for her that way sometimes tbh like with mak rn.

56: Have you ever “destroyed” a relationship? yes

58: Are you the “dominant” or the “submissive” part in a relationship? shes like the non-sexual equivalent of a power bottom Or Something. she wants control of whats happening but is more submissive Or Something.

59: Have you ever forgotten important dates like your partner’s birthday or your anniversary? she never forgets but it doesnt always last long enough for that kind of thing to come up lmao

60: What’s your opinion on open relationships? she doesnt have anything against them but theyre very much not for her. shes way way to jealous to share a quad with someone and doesnt feel any need to take more than one mate in a quad, and isnt big on non-quad romance

64: Do you think Valentine’s Day is overrated? yes she does

65: Would you consider yourself a “cuddler”? SHE REALLY REALLY IS BUT WONT ADMIT TO IT

[datingadviceonreddit]

So I was dating this guy Mak in LA. We met in October through our mutual best friends in DC when he was visiting from NYC and we kept in touch casually through the months. He ended up moving to LA in January for a big music company and then I went there in March for two months, we became really close friends and then ended up dating in April and he got reallllly attached like asked me to be his girlfriend within a weekSome background: He had two ex girlfriends in the last few years in NYC, both were 8 months long, both dumped him for their ex. He's on good terms with both of them and close friends with the first one.Anyway, I left LA mid April and we somehow ended up talking everyday and I feel like we finessed it into some long distance relationship without meaning to. But he wasn’t sure if I was coming back to LA , and I wasn’t sure either but thought I was. But we agreed to be monogamous or whatever until we see each other for Memorial Day weekend. (The first weekend he's back in NYC since he moved in January).Two weeks before that weekend we got into a big fight, because he's a shitty communicator and texter and I said it’s weird I’m still texting my EX more than him. And he got really upset "is this happening to me again?", said he was just like this with everyone (his best friends have mentioned this ) and needs to be better.Since our conversation he’s been really fine. He gets to NYC last Wednesday and we were staying together Wednesday and Thursday, he was working mostly all day but we hung out at night. He told me on Friday he's seeing his friends which I was totally cool with since he has many and hasn’t seen them in forever, but he goes out gets wasted and all I hear from him is a text at 12:30: help im drunk -.-On Saturday, there’s a big party that’s his best friends birthday that he invited me to at 5 pm. He wakes up hungover at 3:30 asks me where I am, and I tell him he can come meet up with my friends at 5 if he wants (in LA I made every effort to meet his friends when they visited). He tells me sorry, I have to go to my party at 5, see you there.I text him at 7, where are you? And he says he hasn’t left yet. lol. He said he got behind and then I started getting annoyed and he asked me if I was mad and I said “I dont know what else to say we already had to this conversation so many times about communicating” and then he started getting all fucking weird and saying sorry hes not the person I need and he can’t be there for me right now and we should talk about ending things if this isn’t working lol. It was just so bizarre because he was legit begging me to be his gf just on ThursdayI get to the party at 8 with my friends he's kinda quiet but always lingering around me and being nice or whatever, I brought up the fight and he goes “Sam I feel like Im not ready for you. All we do is fight I feel like you’re just mad because you've never been rejected before."Meanwhile hes doing like 10000 lines of coke. This party is batshit wild like 500 people in some Williamsburg house like a horrible college party I hate. I leave after we fight or talk or whatever for 30 min where hes just like dismissing me and acting so fucking 180. I go outside and I'm crying and I tell my friends what happened and in my drunken state i'm begging him to come downstairs and say bye to me because I dont like the way things ended and this wasn’t cool considering we were friends before all of this. And he just says he doesn’t wanna leave the party doesn’t wanna come down. Texts me an hour later asking if i'm still across the street at the bar I was in and I tell him im disgusted by his behavior. Also I told him before this party not to get too drunk and shit because were supposed to spend sunday together.Hes out til 7 am. Texts me at 2 pm when he wakes up apologizing asking to see me, sees me is apologizing profusely telling me how he reverted back to his NYC bullshit and how everything he hated about himself just came out last night and he doesn’t expect me to ever talk to him or give him the time of day and that he clearly has deeper issues he needs to resolve and he was being so shittyTells me he was just super frustrated that he thought he was becoming a better communicator but then slipped and feels like he wasn’t good enough for me, that he lost his shit because he didn’t know how to handle the situation. And was fucked up from all the coke and would do anything to rebuild my trust even as a friend and I ended things and I said I need time to be friends again and hes been apologizing to me and shit and trying to go out of his way to do shit for me all week.His friend sent me this:" he left new york specifically to not be this person, knowing full well it was neither personally healthy nor good for his relationships with people... romantic or otherwise. in los angeles he was able to get away from that kind of noise and focus on himself and building something with you, and i think that much was evident, and he was excited to do both of those things.... he’s very one track minded which is honestly why i was so impressed at his generously and ably hosting me for like 6 daysbut i don’t think he was intentionally malicious at all, i think it was more him prioritizing the complete wrong things/people and then realizing his folly midway through and then just digging in, instead of addressing it sooner."I called him and spoke to him on thursday and said i still wanted things to be over and I need a few days of space. On thursday when we talked, he told me about how he bumped into this girl he went on one date with right before we started dating. This girl has been a running joke because she looks like me but worse and I made fun of him for going out with someone just like me while we started dating. he ghosted her when we started 2 months ago and just ran into her and said hi. I made a joke and said "you're not going to date her are you now" and he laughed and said no.We dont talk until sunday, he calls me, i dont pick up. He called me last night I picked up and said I needed some space but asked him how he was doing what he did this weekend....he admits to me he saw this girl on Saturday and they got a couple of drinks. I’m dumbfounded as this was a topic of conversation on Thursday and he tells me his mind was racing and he thought I was already dating and sleeping guys this weekend, that he felt like he lost me and was hating himself for it, went into a self destructive hole and thought he’d feel better about himself if he got a drink with this girl. That he just wanted to get out of his head and not be lonely.Tells me it wasn’t the right thing to do, that it was selfish and he brought this upon himself and he doesn’t understand why he’s burning this more and more. That he’s never loved a girl more than me and doesn’t know how to handle any of this. He said hes already hurt me enough and hes going to leave me alone now and take a long time away from me to actually work on himself and not inflict any more drama.And im just conflicted as fuck. WHY IS HE DOING ALL THIS AND ACTING CRAZY ALL OF A SUDDEN?? is it because hes getting scared?? via /r/dating_advice

[crissssyb-blog]

New Years Resolution 2018.

Id like to say it is not the end, it just a new beginning. I got to say, year 2017 has been really rough for me...Ive been in the hospital probably 4-5 times and ive lost several friends. Whether its from fading apart, long distance, moving from home or bad experience... Ive lost them. Id like to say that I can never stay made over someone I truly cared about. And as much as they may hate me or judge me, id like to say...i forgive you. And I hope somewhere deep in your heart, you learn to forgive me too. Dont get me wrong, forgiving is hard to do...but I feel like forgiving and forgetting, is the best way to deal with life. Its the easiest way to move on. 

Ive recently met a friend...that really reminds me of my old cod friends that ive lost. Because ive made some wrong choices by flirting, giving false info, or just trying to get attention because I was a hoe bag. Id like to say, im truly sorry for being a hoebag. But i really hope this time, i dont let the same mistakes repeat itself again...  Its hard because we are only human and we buid emotions around people. But sometimes some things just arent meant to be. We were meant to meet to tell us we’re not meant to be anything more than simple friends. We dont even deserve to be good friends, because things get complicated. 

Dear Jelly Bean,  Im truly sorry for what I did to you in the past. I think about you ever so often and I really want to make things sincere... and mak eit up. I know you forgave me because you accepted, but its not forgetting to you. And i understand, but deep inside i know you still care for me. As a stranger, as a friend, as a good friend. I wish you the best in 2018 and i hope you find it. 

New Years Resolution: 

Get good grades Try and get a good body Make and save more money Be a better, nicer person Appreciate everyone more! <3 

[burgatroyd]

episode 7 thoughts

oh boy this might be long i have a lot

i really was not a fan of last night’s episode which is depressing because of how much i loved movie night but...here we go (also idk if anyone even reads these but i love getting my thoughts out so this is fine either way)

victoria and val: that package sure was something. tbh i didn’t mind val’s comments about lindsey and jordan like he wasnt lying but i get why people disliked that he said that. i think its cool that he’s able to push victoria to her best and i think that’s something that val is really able to do with his partners. he genuinely is one of the better coaches because of how he’s able to create a relationship where his partner trusts him, and then use that to get a good performance out of them. and i think most importantly victoria is able to take it. she is an OLYMPIC ATHLETE...i don’t think val needs to handle her with kiddie gloves. p*re said that his behavior was abusive and controlling and evidence to him being a bad person, and i genuinely think that’s an insane (and honestly extremely serious) assertion to make based on a heavily produced package that displays 2 minutes out of their entire week. and it’s even MORE INSANE coming from a group that goes on and on about how overproduced the show is. but thats that. val can be extremely annoying tbh, but calling him abusive to his partners and saying hes gaslighting his victims is ridiculous and shameful imo. ANYWAY their dance: i really liked it. i generally like VWs so i liked this, and he didnt go OTT in theme stuff which i enjoyed. 

jordan and lindsay: jordan is so perfect (as a dancer) that it is unreal. i love him. i think its basically irrefutable that if this was strictly a dancing competition based on talent jordan deserves the mirrorball by a mile. he’s just so fucking good. i love his partnership with lindsay, and i love that lindsay said she’s pushing herself to be as good of a choreographer as mark because in terms of that its hers to lose. on the other hand jordan is just so perfect that i need him to be taken down a notch. even his responses to criticism are perfect which is fine because i think he’s just extremely charismatic but that is just so unrelatable. I LOVE HIM,...but i know a lot of others probably don’t because perfection is boring, esp on a show like this.

nikki and artem: i’m not terribly shocked nikki was eliminated because she wasn’t one of the strongest dancers, but i’m so sad because i love her partnership with artem so so much. artem was so sad too, which made me sad. i died when he straight up called the elimination bullshit. their dance wasn’t good if i’m honest, but i’m sad to see them go :(

vanessa and maks: i....rip. i’m so sad they left last night because i genuinely think vanessa was probably the third best dancer this season, but i’m even more sad they left on THAT dance. it was awful and just so so much. the production was too much, the concept was iffy, i just did not love the choreo. i couldn’t even tell how her dancing was bc of the fog but tbh that doesnt matter bc i dont know anything about dancing lmao. but just purely based on watchability, this was a no. sad :( but i doubt either of them is miserable. maks’ reaction to how ridiculous the double elimination was honestly made me laugh. that was really cruel as fuck, even if i did see it coming it was clear the contestants didn’t.

terrell and cheryl: i suddenly love terrell which sucks because he’s probably going next week. their dance wasn’t amazing, but cheryl has really whipped him into shape. it’s probably their time to go but tbh i could think of a few pairings id rather see leave first. but whatever that’s life.

lindsey and mark: i loved the choreo for their dance, but lindsey just looked like she was in so much pain the whole time that i just wanted them to stop. i’m so glad they made it through okay and got good scores because it’s what they deserve. i’m sure they’ll be fine score-wise considering how popular lindsey is. i just hope she’s able to rest a bit. this is such a sucky time for an injury like that, but i’m sure she’ll power through. 

frankie and witney: okay...this whole time with frankie i’ve loved him as a contestant and LOOVVEED his partnership with witney, but his dances have been overhyped for me. this was honestly no different, but i did admittedly like it a lot more than i did some of the others that were hyped up. overscored? yes. am i mad? no because i love him as a contestant. i’m worried for him next week though becuase doing a jive? with alfonso? who would probably rather die than play his own dancing down for frankie’s benefit? yikes...that might be a trainwreck. still, though, i’m sure he’ll be fine well past next week, and i will be SHOCKED if he doesn’t make the finale.

drew and emma: drew is just such a total non-event for me. he rubs me the wrong way sometimes, but i do love him with emma, mostly because emma could bring the best out of anyone’s personality. this dance was cool i guess, but i honestly wouldn’t be mad if he was out next week. he won’t be, but i wouldn’t be mad if he was.

the team dance scoring was kind of crazy. team phantom being 6 points better than team monster mash??? okay... in all honestly that was probably to prob victoria (and maybe frankie...) up and get them past next week. both dances were kind of pedestrian though. (big words coming from someone with no rhythm)

next week sure is going to be something. i kind of loathe the idea of former contestant’s being the +1 in the trios. in a competition that’s supposed to be about the celebrities this kind of takes the spotlight away from them while also putting an insane amount of pressure onto the pros. also i feel like some of the pairings could be troublesome for the contestants. from knowing kelly cheryl and terrell have rumba and alfonso witney and frankie have jive i’m kind of suspicious that this might be about the former contestants’ best dances. and that might make terrell, frankie, and victoria in particular look kind of bad. i know i said frankie is going to be a trainwreck next to alfonso, but i really feel like this might be a problem for victoria with laurie. the good thing about laurie, though, is she’ll probably adapt herself better than alfonso does, just based on her personality. the packages will be interesting, though, because i’m sure they’ll feature a lot of advice.

and i’m sure corbin jordan and lindsay will absolutely blow me the fuck away. my expectations are so so high for them.

ok thats it :)