#I donate 2$ once when I had a bit more money but not anymore :( | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

butts-bouncing-on-the-beltway · 4 months ago

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With regard to donating to fund-raisers and the analogy to panhandlers, what do you make of the difference in scale that the internet makes possible? I absolutely agree with the underlying approach — I keep $40 in my wallet so that I always have a $20 to give to panhandlers I see — but there's a limit to how many dishonest panhandlers a person is likely to run into. Internet spam and scams are of a staggeringly larger scale; for example, the head of trust and safety for Dreamwidth has put the scale of these scam networks in the millions of accounts. Obviously vetting practises help a great deal, and I think initiatives like Crips For ESims For Gaza are great, but I'm a little bit hung up on the analogy to in-person panhandling when the scale is so different.

Disclaimer: my tone may sound harsh here, I am having trouble softening my words one this right now, but I truly mean no frustration towards you and really appreciate this question as an opportunity continue this conversation in the Commons constructively

I mean. Make a budget for it?

Like. I've said this before, but given I've decided to hunker down in this foxhole, let's do it again.

All my life I've had a panhandling budget because I came from a family where you simply didn't say no to such requests if you didn't have to. But much like the tired old analogy at this point, you can't help someone else put on an oxygen mask if you've passed out because you don't have enough oxygen yourself.

So my mom told me this was one of those places in life you set a boundary with yourself. Identify how much you can actually safely reliably spend towards financial redistribution, and set it aside in cash each pay period to give out.

My mom's approach was very first come, first served. Whoever asked her, she handed out all her cash. I found that when I was trying to create a similar routine for myself that this led to a constant exposure to people I couldn't serve at all. So I created "allotments". It became my routine to take out a $20 bill at my bank every pay period, and then have the teller give it to me in $5 bills. The first 4 people I met who asked for it got a fiver.

Then came the digital age. Cash wasn't the main way people asked for money anymore, and my fivers were simultaneously going farther and going nowhere at all for weeks on end, especially during the pandemic when I became largely housebound.

These days, I keep $10 cash in 2 fivers, and each pay period I restock it if it's been depleted, and add $10 to a digital distribution fund (I use money transfer apps like venmo, paypal, and cash app for parking this money until expenditure). My allotment is still the same, $5/ask. During low-density ask periods, I will donate my "excess" at the end of a 3month period to a bail fund or prison penpal program, and if there IS no excess, it's because I was able to distribute the funds myself.

They're not big donations, but a lot of the time I've been able to make them recurring. Obviously, genocide upon genocide upon pandemic upon genocide has meant that I rarely have excesses, and many asks have to go unanswered by me. At least if I want to keep my own household alive and well. And I've been told in the past that some even prefer getting my repeat small petty cash funds over getting larger one time donations.

It's still hard to be constantly exposed to desperate asks you can't answer, but when you treat it like a sustainability thing (this is a thing I can continue doing indefinitely vs this is a thing I can only sometimes do without hurting myself).

Like any budget, sometimes things get tight. Mine has been bigger and smaller at times and there have even been deeply painful periods where my budget was, legitimately, $0. But once that changed, I was right back to it.

The more the world changes, the more it stays the same I guess

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moonlit-mystery-writer · 8 months ago

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Varia Bedroom Headcanons

@myrmyrtheorca @childe-of-saulot @tangomagnolija @unwrathful @srtruth

I gotta be fully honest, accidentally put all my energy into Mammon's room lol. I tried to spread the love, I did, but how I imagine a lot of their rooms can be summed up quickly. Meanwhile, Viper's has layers lol.

Viper/Mammon

Viper’s room is painted in dark indigos and deep violets, making it look really dim. Also making it look dim is the fact they only keep about three lamps in there in total and all the tapestries on the walls and ceiling. Most of these tapestries are old items from the others. A stitched up blanket Squalo had once ripped in frustration, old curtains Lussuria tried to toss out because he didn’t like them anymore, and other items of categories like that. In fact, that’s how they get a lot of their furniture. Wobbly coffee tables fixed via putting a book under it, an electric fan that only works half the time, and stuff like that. There’s a chest at the foot of their bed full of old uniforms and clothes. Bel’s old uniform from when he was a kid? They have that. Some clothes Lussuria planned to donate to a thrift store? Mammon’s got them tucked away. They might have a bit of a hoarding problem… But that’s something to be addressed another time!

They have the second biggest bed in the Varia base, the number one spot obviously belonging to Xanxus. It’s a canopy bed, only adding to the things that hang down in their room. The bed is also pressed right up against a wall that has a window seat that they’ve added more cushions and pillows to. They mostly sleep on said window seat, mostly using their bed as glorified storage space for things like books and their money. The bed is also home to their copious amounts of blankets, yet again, mostly ones they’ve stolen from the others or ones they’ve put back together.

The crowning jewel of their room though simply must be all their books and trinkets. If a shelf isn’t stuffed full of books and reading materials, it’s lined with little things they’ve found. Almost every surface in the room has trinket trays that hold a cacophony of things. Little metal thread spools, cheap rings, cool rocks, and more. You can find just about anything in their room! In fact, it’s practically guaranteed if you lose something small in the Varia base that it’ll end up in their room. Good luck getting it back though, they don’t like others getting into their room.

TYl/Future Arc Fran

Fran actually keeps a lot of the things from Mammon’s room there still. He lessens how many blankets he uses, removes a lot of the tapestries, and little changes like that. But the most he adds to the room are little things like posters or his own odd decor and trinkets he finds.

Belphegor

So! In canon, he’s ranked the second in having the messiest room, so ignoring the mess that’ll be there! I feel his room is, rather stereotypically for him, painted in a deep red. He doesn’t have much in terms of furniture outside of his bed, a desk, a tv, and an armchair. He does however have a ton of posters and pictures on his walls. Bands he’s listened to once, tv shows he’s never fully finished, pictures of missions he liked, and more. Though, the set of photos he likes the most and that he has hidden in a corner of his room under a poster are photos of him and the rest of the Varia. He finds it too cheesy to admit to any of them how much he likes the pictures, hence the hiding.

One of his odder decor pieces is a dart board that he uses for knife practice when he’s bored. The wall around it has holes from said practice that he claims are intentional. Whether that’s the truth or not, no one knows as he never uses it when there’s someone else in the room.

He does have some fairy lights in his room, but he doesn’t use them often. 1. Because he yet again doesn’t want the others to know about them. 2. Because I personally headcanon as having a sensitivity to light for various reasons. Maybe him and his brother throwing rocks at each other’s heads as kids wasn’t the best idea… But that’s a health problem to be handled later!

Lussuria

(For pronoun clarification, I use all pronouns for Lussuria lol) His room is the definition of cozy and warm. Lots of warm colors that aren’t too bright, sun shaped wall decor, lots of mirrors. I imagine her room either has multiple windows or one big one, either way, it gets a lot of natural light. They also have a lot of potted plants like succulents, an assortment of fresh herbs, different flowers, and some ivy. Lussuria also has a collection of soft things, normally those plush things you can microwave to help with muscle aches. They help her a lot after training sessions or missions when she can’t use too much Sun flames.

Levi A Than

I’ll be fully honest, I have very few headcanons for Levi’s room. He’s a hard character to decorate for. However!! I feel like his room would be green, but like a dark and dull green. And obviously, he has a Xanxus shrine/a lot of photos of him on one of his walls. Also we know in canon he has and uses 116 alarm clocks apparently. So I can only imagine he has enough surface space to match. So either, a lot of tables or they’re set up all around his room and even on some shelves. Outside of that, he really just feels like the type of guy to keep his room rather plain.

Squalo Superbia

Much like the others, I feel like Squalo’s room color matches his flames. However, it’s far more of a grey-blue than a bright blue like Rain flames. He also feels like the kind of guy to keep things simple. A desk with a chair, some framed photos, rather average bedding, and such. The stand out feature of his room is his giant fish tank that takes up a good chunk of the room. Whether he simply has multiple fish or some mini sharks, they’re painfully spoiled for aquatic pets. Only the best for his babies! This also means in his room there’s always the faint sound of his tank’s filter.

Xanxus

And finally, the darling boss’ room! Breaking the trend of his subordinates, I feel like his room is a dark color like a deep grey or black. And, as mentioned in Viper/Mammon’s section, his bed is the biggest. I feel like he keeps his room rather simple, but not plain. Fancy style dressers, stylized shelves, and things like that. Things you’d expect to see from someone given not only his personality, but also given the fact he was raised to be Vongola Decimo. Plus, look at the dramatic chairs he has in canon. His other furniture simply has to match.

#katekyo hitman reborn #khr #khr xanxus #khr varia #khr viper #khr mammon #khr belphegor #khr levi #khr lussuria #khr squalo #superbia squalo #khr fran

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xivrefsheets · 7 months ago

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Dawntrail Updates!

Figured I may as well toss a post to the void with DT rapidly approaching. Ahem. Hello! First of all...

Wow... thanks a bunch! I'm happy this little project has proven to be so helpful for so many folks out there! I figured once I stopped updating that this blog was gonna fizzle out into obscurity but I'm still getting quite a bit of interaction despite the inactivity (I really do miss Tumblr sometimes...)

Anyway, wanted to put an update out here on things going forward after DT drops and knowing how rambly and Autistic™ I tend to get, I'll just put that in a cut.

So as I've mentioned in passing in the tags of a random ask, I'm sort of considering opening comms for ref sheets again due to really Really Spicy money-related happenings in my personal life. However, there's a few steps along the way before I make this a reality and this isn't even a full guarantee it'll happen as I'll also be opening art commissions in the near future and those will take more time and priority over ref sheets PLUS there's the factors that led me to closing in the first place.

I'm trying to steer away from using Anamnesis going forward for a number of reasons (some borderline petty, I admit) but I've been introduced to some nifty new plugins that are slowly taking the program's place that make posing infinitely easier and also fix the primary issue I had with Ana which was.... not allowing unique NPC faces to show in gpose anymore. (Yes I'm aware that they still worked for carbuncles and the like but that was just enough of a hassle for my posing needs that it made the sheets Not worth making anymore since I was already dealing with other stress on the side at the time as well). I'm still learning how to effectively utilize said plugins and once I've gotten better and mastered them that'll be the end of step 1.

Step 2 is gonna be... well... waiting for DT to drop. As we all know, a massive graphics overhaul is coming, so there's very little point in opening requests for new characters now when the models are about to be more detailed and will very likely be tweaked along the way if player feedback affects NPCs down the line.

Step 3... that I dread... revamping my studio yet again. Mostly just gonna be taking out some of the extra light sources since those tend to get in the way when the model is really tall and also researching more setups. May also see about utilizing chromakey as well. Idk idk. I doubt I'll have the energy to make the sheets super pretty like some folks do, but taking transparent shots will cut out a lot of distracting factors and make the finished sheets look a bit better I think.

Then after that, I'll probably do some practice rounds and re-work sheets for popular characters as well as fixing the old, shitty sheets from when I first started that were Way Too Yellow that I've been meaning to fix for literal years now (so sorry to all my fellow color-picking artists friends out there I'm sorry that's so annoying... TTATT) and from there I'll see if it's something I still want to pursue and open comms for.

I'll shoot for maybeeeee mid-August or so for the next update. Obviously, I still have a job and I'll be enjoying DT with the rest of you guys so it'll be some time before I even think of doing ref sheets again, but I at least wanted to throw out there that this is still something I think about, but a number of factors made me stop to begin with. One factor being...

...pricing! If/when I open again, it'll likely be a proper commission post on ko-fi and I'm thinking of starting at $10 with tipping enabled. In the beginning, I was allowing requests for the barest minimum of a donation and the constant $3 for characters with a ton of details to cover was getting a bit demotivating after a while, so I'm sorry if this puts off past and future clients, but I am doing all of this in my free time, so... ;w;

ANYWAY! If anyone read all this... thank you! I know it's a Lot and I'm sorry. Been a minute since I've had to do some sort of official addressing like this... haha.

Feel free to follow my ko-fi for updates regarding ref sheet commissions, art commissions, and whatever new art I post (if you're into that) and maybe toss a dollar or two my way since, yanno, I'm Quite broke rn and have an unpaid vacation coming up... 👉👈 or if you just wanna support a fellow queer this June.

and if y'all don't hear from me in a few months just assume I lied LOL!

#Update #tl;dr I may reopen comms in August #but I also might not #but I might also update old sheets anyway bc Graphics Update #and my Old Old sheets just really fucking suck #happy pride month babes

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wanderingsoul · 2 years ago

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money and love

i recently saw a podcast clip talking about how we often feel the same about money as we do relationships. if we’re in a scarcity mindset, its most likely affecting these two areas of our lives in similar ways.

my first reaction was to balk at the comparison, knowing that money stresses me out beyond belief and feeling that i’ve “hacked” relationships at this point and they don’t really cause me a lot of anxiety anymore. mostly due to an extreme amount of self-evaluation and need to have everything packed away neatly, but i digress.

ever since i was young, i felt money was something that i always craved but never had enough of. my family grew up poor, and so there was no room for extras or fancy things. my mom says i was cursed with expensive taste, and i actually agree with her. i am drawn to designer clothes and shoes, expensive events and hobbies and really a luxury lifestyle. i started working when i was 13 years old, and from the get-go, i never got into the practice of saving. anything that i made babysitting would be spent at the mall or online within a few weeks or months. my parents would force me to donate money to our church, or a charity every month but that was the only time the money i made was not mine to use entirely. once the pattern was created, it has stayed fairly consistent over the past 10 years, with increasing paychecks, and increasing spending. i’ve paid almost every bill ive had early, and was able to save enough to buy a few cars, and a house, so you would think i would have some sense of security in that. or security in my job, where i make more than the median household income in america. but somehow its never enough. every check is spent paying off student loans and my credit card debt, which is from the last check where i spent more than i made. and i am fully stuck in the cycle. it feels like for years now, at least 1-2 years, that has been my life. bi-weekly stress of paying off bills and loans, and over-drafting my account several times a year. you would think at some point, i would start saying no, learn some impulse control and stop buying things. and some months i do, but most months i don’t. so lets look at the mindset i have when it comes to money, which is “it comes and goes easily”. i say this often mostly joking but truly do feel this way. i am able to make much more than i ever though possible, and am able to afford things and experiences i never thought possible. i hardly every say no to things regardless of the cost because i know i will be able to manage it. i still manage to pay my credit cards off every month so in my mind i am fine. i still stress every single paycheck, every month about money, but also am having the most fun of my life.

when it comes to relationships, i can see some sort of patterns in my early experiences. i really did not have any notable relationships until college, and felt that attention was not something that i got very often. i had been single for a very long time, and did’t care to compete to date someone like most everyone else did. so when i did attach, i would become a bit obsessive. i would think about them all the time, want to spend every waking moment with them, and for the first notable partners, they did not feel the same. but as i’ve matured and expanded my dating pool, i have come to realize that i am the commodity. i am the prize and i can put in fairly minimal effort to get the attention i want. however, the attention that i get is never from someone that i see as an equal, or someone i would consider as a serious partner; it often comes from lonely guys looking for a good time. my mindset is a bit more protective of myself when it comes to dating, i am not going to invest my time in something i know won’t lead to where i want, and when i do invest time into someone, its at my pace, on my timeline, when works for me. i do not chase love, and i truly believe what is meant for me will be for me.

after looking at both areas of my life, i realize that i do have some sort of trust in the universe that i will be taken care of, and i will be able to do achieve all my dreams. but for some reason, that peace doesn’t carry over as easily into money as it does in relationships, even though the stability i have in money is arguably much more than in relationships. i think with money i feel out of control and irresponsible, whereas in relationships i almost always feel in control. i would like to shift my thinking about money away from the scarcity mindset into one of abundance.

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xxlost-cityxx · 3 years ago

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ABSOLUTELY NO MINORS

Ship/Characters: Top!Kirishima Eijirou, Bottom!Bakugou Katsuki

TW/CW: camming(Bakugou's a camboy), rough anal sex, anal fingering, choking, spanking, begging, crying, overstimulation, praising, degrading, enthusiastic consent

Summary: Bakugou's famous for being in the top 3 best doms for a camboy porn site, but as he tries to out rank an up and rising couple, his fans get to see the moment he realises he's a submissive bottom

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Katsuk has been a camboy for a little over 2 years now, starting right off the bat once he graduated high school. As he was 18 and living on his own and with a low paying job, he quickly realized he needed another source of income to live even slightly comfortably in today's world. Then came a random ad that just so happened to catch his eye, a porn site catching a lot of popularity, a few cam stars seeming to live a life of luxury from simply filming themselves for anyone to see.

Katsuki had to try it out.

He's had his fair share of horny old men groping him out in public, so why not get paid for them to watch him instead?

That plan was one of his best ideas yet. He rose to fame so quickly he choked on water after posting his 4th video ever, seeing that his rough, aggressive attitude turned a lot of people on. A lot meant 14,000 at the time. A month into camming and he was making over 54,000 yen a week! And now, with nearly 500,000 perverts at his mercy, it was much more. He started live streaming last year, and it went amazing. Until a new couple joined the camming business. Suddenly 'loving boyfriend rails his curvy brown haired slut' was all anyone wanted to see. This broccoli headed bitch stole half the damn site from almost every other cammer out there!

So there was only one thing Katsuki could do now.

He had to fuck someone on one of his streams.

He blew up the first time he fucked a flesh light, degrading the inanimate object like no tomorrow, easily being labeled one of the best doms out there. So the only way to get back on top was to dom a real person.

But he wasn't going to fuck one of his weird ass fans, god no. He needed to find someone close to him who would keep their mouth shut.

After brainstorming and browsing the most popular porn categories, he got an idea. The best way to narrow down his options for what type of person he'd need is by his audience. He quickly went to his profile insights, his eyes narrowing as over 60% were females. He quickly smirked, easily going back to the most popular categories and filtering out what he didn't want to do and what his audience wouldn't be into. And the one that came out ontop, was gay shit. Katsuki was going to dom a guy. And if it meant coming out on top over all the useless cammers, he'd fuck the shit out of a twink.

"Sorry man, I would've considered it back when we first graduated, but Hitoshi and Kyo would rather stab you than let me take your dick up my ass." Denki said, casually sighing and taking a sip of his coffee. The elders around the coffee shop gasped, giving nasty side eyes which Katsuki couldn't care less about. "What!?" He nearly shouted, Sero and Mina covering their mouths to prevent any laughter from coming out to the point their faces were turning red.

"Why not ask Sero-" "-Oh hell no! I'm not letting Katsudon fuck me on camera!" Sero shouted, ignoring Bakugou's glare from calling him Katsudon.

"You really need to fuck a guy for this? Why not stick to your usual content? No.2 is better than much else, right?" "Hell no! I'm the best and I'm going to prove I'm the fuckin' best! Denki's the only twink I know, so help me find another!" Katsuki yelled, a few families being rushed out of the shop.

After going through everyone that fit Bakugou's qualifications. They had nothing. Bakugou was ready to tear someone's head off at this point. After doing so much research, he didn't have the final piece.

"Hey Mina, you're a chick. What do you suggest 'suki do?" Denki sighed, folding in on himself. "I mean, we do love our gay shit man." He said in an inhale. "But why not get fucked instead? We know way more doms than we do twinks." She said, tilting her head. "Oh- Hell no!" Bakugou shouted, Sero wincing. "I'm the best fuckin' dom on this shitting porno site and I'm going to prove it!" "Sounds like a bratty bottom to me." Sero mumbled.

After more shouting and arguing. Kirishima finally arrived. "Sorry, my last client had a lot of knots in their back and thighs! Took a lot longer than I expected." He said with his happy smile, still wearing his scrubs and smelling like coconut oil. "Eiji~! Gimme a deep tissue massage!" Denki whined, rushing over and jumping face first into the bed. "He just gave massages all day dude, give him a break.." Sero mumbled, shaking his head.

And it was like a light bulb. His brain flashing to massage porn intro's being in the top 100 categories. "Kirishim!" Bakugou shouted firmly, standing up straight. Kiri froze, slowly turning to look at him with fearful eyes. "Y-Yes…?" "Let me fuck you for my cam stream." And it went dead silent.

And that's how they're here. Setting up the ring lights, almond oil on the shelves and a small white towel for Bakugou to cover his ass with. The plan was that Eijirou would get handsy during the massage and Katsuki would turn around and start domming him. Kirishima is bigger than Bakugou in the height and muscle department, but that was only going to make the plot better. Eijrou definitely wasn't telling him something. After hesitating to agree in the first place, and only after Bakugou promised a share of the money, Kirishima was just so...unnatural at this situation, his movements starting off as more dominating until he took it down to a submissive level.

Katsuki started the live, giving his quickly joining fans a cocky smirk before standing up, walking back and laying down on the black table.

The comments were filled with surprise and questions as to who the red haired hulk was beside the table, but they went unanswered.

Kirishima grabbed the bottle of almond oil, pouring some into his hands and quickly starting on Katsuki's thighs, gently rubbing into the muscles with experienced ease.

Bakugou's eyes widened at the feeling, his core already getting hot with desire. And as Kirishima's fingers went under the towel to his inner thighs, he fought a gasp. Comments filled with perverted comments telling the redhead to get more handsy and to give the blond a hand job with all the oil.

But as Eijirou put a knee on the table and nearly climbed over Katsuki to perfectly get his back, Katsuki started panting at the feeling. It wasn't the massage that was getting him. It was the feeling of Eijirou's crotch rubbing against the thin towel, his cock slightly hard underneath his black scrubs.

As it was about time for the script to move onto Katsuki domming Kirishima, Bakugou was stifling whimpers of shock and embarrassment. His cock aching for him to fuck Kirishima…..actually. His body was aching to be fucked by Kirishima.

As Katsuki was turned around, His eyes were teary, his fans taking quick, shocked notice and flooding the comments with surprise, degrading, perverted insults about how he looked like a twink instead.

Kirishima's eyes slightly widened at the sight, and as Bakugou swallowed his embarrassment and shock, he focused on his arousal and his own perverse desires. "F-Fuck me….instead.." He whispered, his eyes slightly squinting and blurring with tears.

Before he knew it, Eijirou was leaning over top of him with a slick hand around his neck. Bakugou couldn't help but moan at the pressure, his stream struggling to keep up with the influx of viewers and comments about the top 3 best doms getting put in his place by a rando.

Bakugou's mind wasn't on the donations anymore, not on the follower count or his ranking at this point. He was gasping for air as Kirishima roughly kissed and bit at his body, keeping an iron grip on Katsuki's neck. "Oh fuck yes- Was hoping to god I would be able to fuck your tight ass one day-!" Kirishima breathed against his skin, licking up his nipple to his jaw and nipping at him.

He suddenly ripped himself off the blonde, walking over to the camera and grabbing it, making a winky face at the viewers as he moved the camera to get a better view of Bakugou teary eyed, flushed and a line of red, darkening hickies and bites.

He got back on the table, roughly gripping Katsuki's thighs and harshly pushing them apart, an action that would probably make some other guy pull a muscle. He wrapped his arms around his spread thighs, pulling his hips up to meet his crotch, the pale skin against his dark black scrubs finally letting Bakugou and the viewers know what the newbie was packing, and it was a lot.

"H-Holy fuck-" Bakugou whispered out as his towel was ripped off of him, oil being grabbed off the table and the cap popped open. Kirishima paused, looking up to Bakugou, a silent plea for last minute permission. Katsuki's red eyes met crimson, and he swiftly nodded his head, accidentally earning more donations from the show of submission.

Eijirou lathered his fingers in oil, tracing the blond's pink hole carefully, giving the camera another adjustment so the viewers could see his perfect view as well; a red faced, teary eyed dom with his tight ass being slicked up so nicely.

The oil made Katsuki's muscle relax easily, becoming soft under the thick tanned finger, and as he swiftly plunged in the singular finger, Katsuki gasped with shock, his eyes going wide at the foregin feeling.

Kirishima slowly pumped his finger, adding slightly more oil every time his muscle got a bit too tight, slipping in more fingers every time his rim was soft. It felt like such a short amount of time between preparing to dom his best friend to being finger fucked by him. Eijirou's forearm had veins slightly protruding as he slammed his fingers into his friend at a pace that made vibrators look pathetic. Katsuki's pretty little back was arched so nicely, his muscles flexing and his toes curling, tears falling from his eyes as moan after moan was ripped from him.

"P-Please! I can't! I can't take it anymore!" He finally sobbed, shaking his head at the man's brutal pace, purposely avoiding his prostate after hitting it every couple times.

Kirishima smirked, slowly sliding his fingers out only to slide his thumbs inside, stretching the soft muscle as he pleased, showing off the blond's perfectly hot pink insides, his swollen rim slick and twitching. "So nice and pretty for me, hm? You wanna take my fat cock for the first time? Expose how much of a slut you are for cock? For my cock?" Kirishima said seductively, moving the camera again.

Katsuki nodded his head rapidly, his eyes glued to the hard to see bulge under his black scrubs. "Use your words, baby." Eijirou said firmly, palming himself. "Y-Yes- I want it-! I w-want your fat cock-!" He said, face flushing with embarrassment again. "Good boy~" He cooed, finally grabbing the hem of his pants and pulling them down.

It was almost like he struggled to pull the front down far enough, his cock just kept following, and once it finally got over his tip, his penis sprung up to lightly slap against his stomach before it weighed itself down. The camera got Bakugou's surprise and shock perfectly, the comments finally going quiet, almost as if everyone had to take in what they were seeing as well.

Kirishima grabbed the base of his cock, lifting it and letting it slap against Bakugou's hole, earning a slightly muffled whimper from the blond. He gently moved his hips, letting his cock slide smoothly against his hole, his tip teasing the smaller's balls. The comments were filled with encouragement and orders to get on with it.

Kirishima chuckled darkly, letting his tip catch on the rim, slowly pushing in. Bakugou's eyebrows furrowed before his mouth dropped and eyes widened with the pressure. He let out a guttural moan, his legs starting to shake.

As Eijirou bottomed out with a groan, Katsuki was shaking and whimpering, his own well endowed cock red and dripping precome.

The redhead pulled out before slamming back in, the blond shooting up with shock only to be met with a hand on his neck again, pinning him down as the Kirishima harshly forced his way between Bakugou's legs even more, only giving the blond a couple seconds to adjust before he started snapping his hips into the smaller man's ass. Bakugou took in one breath of air before lewd moans poured from him, his voice cracking every time his skin was slapped with another brutal thrust.

"Agh- P-Please-!" Katsuki nearly screamed out, Eijirou grabbing the back of his knees and pressing them back to meet his shoulders, effectively putting him in a mating press. "Please what, baby? Tell me what you fucking want!" Eijirou growled out, groaning as Katsuki's tight, slicked up boy cunt tried to milk him, pulsing and sucking him in with every movement. "I-I want it harder! Please- Please fuck me harder! Give me more!" Bakugou nearly sobbed, looking at where their bodies were connected with teary wide eyes. "Such a fuckin' slut-! Making all these people think you were a fucking dom, only to start begging for the first fat cock you see! Want it harder? Wanna feel my fat dick in you for days?" He growled, eagerly moving to grab Katsuki's ankles and awkwardly spreading them over Katsuki's head before turning him, ripping his cock out of his pillowy ass and nearly picking the blond up by his ass, grabbing the nape of his neck and forcing him on his knees with his head down.

He slammed back in, the blond nearly screaming once again as he set another brutal pace. "Y-Yes! Please, god yes! Fuck me more! Don't stop!" Katsuki sobbed, drool and tears staining his lewd face. "Wouldn't fucking dream of it! You love having your little boy cunt fucked, huh? Love how I fucking ruin you on this dick?" Kirishima growled, slapping a hand down on his fat ass, groaning loudly at the sight of all the excess muscle and fat jiggle even more.

Katsuki's ass slapped against Eijirou's abs every time he slammed into the boy, his back muscles looking so pretty at this angle.

"Oh shit- I'm gonna cum! Please make me cum! Don't fucking stop~!" Bakugou moaned, arching his back and lifting his ass up higher so Eijirou could hit his prostate at the best angle. "Haven't even touched your cock and you're gonna cum? Fucking do it! Cum on this cock, make it yours and I'll fuck you every day!" Kirishima promised, sharpening his thrusts to where all Bakugou could do is claw at the padded table and scream, staring into the camera as his orgasm was building higher and higher.

"I- Fuck! I'm fucking cummin'!" Bakugou screamed, his body shaking under Kirishima as his thrusts went unbroken, hurtling Katsuki into overstimulation. He started screaming for relief, but as Kirishima planted his hands into the curvature of Bakugou's spine, he started thrusting purely for his own relief. Groaning and growling above a sobbing Katsuki. "S-Stop! I can't! Slow down~ Please!" Katsuki begged, his cock trying to harden again. His body was on fire, every nerve fried with pleasure he'd never experienced, and Katsuki knew he was addicted.

"Almost fuckin' there! Gonna cum in your ass- Claim you, make you mine!" Eijirou groaned out, his balls drawing up tight as his own climax ripped through him, filling up the man's stomach with his cum.

He slowly pulled out, Katsuki in the same position even after Eijirou let go of him. He grabbed the camera, pointing it at Bakugou's gaping and cum filled hole, watching how he pulsed against nothing, forcing the cum to leak out of him despite his angle.

Not only did Katsuki make absolute bank while taking monster cock like a slut, he took the No.1 spot by over a thousand followers and ratings.

#bakugou #bakugou katsuki #bnha imagines #kirishima #kirishima eijiro #kiribaku #kiribaku thirst #kiribaku smut #bakugou smut #bakugou thirst #kirishima smut #kirishima thirst #camboy!bakugou #mha thirst #mha smut #bnha smut #bnha thirst

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nojey · 4 years ago

Text

reminiscing (fans 2)

dreamwastaken x streamer!reader

genre: angst pronouns: they / them word count: 2.1k warning(s): failed relationship, cursing

fans (part 1)

synopsis: after taking 6 months off from social media, you finally explain to your fans why you took so long and why you needed it.

go live. *click*

you watched as your chat strolled in and viewer count go up. your computer screen illuminating your face in the dark room as your webcam caught the nervous look. you were shaking your leg up and down, a habit you caught whenever you tried to calm yourself down.

“hi everyone, it’s been a while since my last stream, huh?” you dryly chuckled. “it’s been about.. 6 months since i last streamed and at this point i think i’ve taken enough time to correctly word how i’m going to tell everyone why i decided to take a break from streaming.” you said looking down at the ground and fiddling with your fingers.

“uh, donation notifications will be off for this stream and chat will be on emotes only because i really just want to focus on getting this out. but if you plan on donating, thank you so much, really, it means the world to me.” you said finally looking at your webcam and smiling a bit. you read a chat and answer, “yes, i’m doing okay. i just have a big announcement i want to say after i tell you guys why i took a break.”

you took a deep breath in and started. “ over a year ago, almost 2, i met this guy through a friend and we started talking. it was very little at the beginning but as little as it was, his texts always made me smile.” you scratched the back of your neck. “and as time went on, we started talking more and more and he just became part of my daily routine. when i woke up i’d see a good morning text from him, we’d spend most of our day being on the phone with each other, i was even on facetime with him most of my streams but i had an airpod under my headset so you couldn’t really see it, i almost always fell asleep on facetime with him. i really fell for this guy.” you fondly smiled, looking at your desk, where your phone used to be propped up and you would see clays face just looking at you.

“then we started streaming together. ‘omg he’s a streamer too’ yeah, and a lot of you probably know who i’m talking about at this point but i still won’t disclose who it is. i uh, got a lot of messages from you guys telling me that i looked super happy that stream and i was. i was always happy when i talked to him. but along with those messages i also got a lot of hate, telling me to stay away from him. it didn’t really bother me because i always get hate when i stream with my guy friends; i was used to it.” you said, taking a sip from your water then wiping the side of your eye as it teared up.

“and today... i’ll be going on the dream smp! with the man himself, dream. dream, say hi now.” you introduced, you waited a few seconds but was only met with silence. you grabbed your phone and sent him a voice message, “clay! you’re on deafen! introduce yourself!” you screamed into your phone. dream then took himself off deafen and said. “hi (y/s/n)’s chat! i’m dream, i’ll be showing (y/n) around the smp today and we’re gonna get started on their house.” you smiled fondly when you heard him speak. “yeah! what dream said!”

so you both logged into the dream smp, said hi to sapnap, and dream gave you a tour. you then started building your house in a forest, quite far from everyone else, “i don’t want anyone bothering you or ruining your house when you’re not on.” he explained. you told dream you wanted to build a cottage so if anyone does end up stumbling upon it, it looks welcoming to them. so dream started building your house for you even though you insisted you do it together. “dream! let me help, this is supposed to be my house.” you dragged. “well we can both decorate inside and make it our house.” you started blushing. “i guess..” you mumbled. you then started adventuring out to look for flowers and some things to decorate the house with.

you started placing flowers down into flower pots when you noticed something. “dream there’s only one bedroom.” you mentioned. he slowly turned around to look at you and quickly turned back and placed two beds next to each other. “this is our room, dumbass.”

later that night you checked your twitter dms and saw many people telling you to stop talking to dream and that you weren’t good enough to even know him. you sighed and powered down your phone.

“i think a few weeks after that he asked me if i could fly out to him and we’d meet in person. i was so excited i immediately started packing and i met him. it was amazing! i got to meet the guy i’ve been in love with for the past few months. i think it may have been a year already. but yeah, i finally got to meet him and being in his arms was the best feeling in the world, i felt so safe being with him.”

“it was the day after that, when he asked me on a date and i, of course, said yes. like who would say no to the person they fell in love with... so we went on a date and at the end of it we were just sitting on top of the hood of the car, eating dinner, watching the sunset and talking about a future we wanted together. and it may seem like we were moving fast but i knew 7 months into talking to him that he felt the same way about me. no matter if either of us disclosed it. i could tell and i knew he knew the same about me. then i went home and everything was perfect, i wasn’t his girlfriend yet though because we wanted to wait a bit.”

“that’s when everything went downhill, i think” you looked up to try to stop the tears from going down your face, but they fell anyways so you just let it be.

“we started streaming more and more and i started getting more hate than i usually got, this time getting death threats, people threatening to leak my address if i didn’t stop being friends with him. it was crazy but i was willing to endure it all for him. who cares what people on the internet are going to say to me? i really didn’t because i was happy enough with him that, that happiness overcame whatever type of hate i was getting.” tears kept falling from your eyes but you didn’t bother to wipe it, knowing it would just keep happening.

“dude you’re so annoying! you definitely cheated!” you screamed as you died. through your headset you could hear clay wheezing. “there was no way i was cheating!” he said through his laughs. “ask my chat, they saw the whole thing.” you breathed out, not wanting to believe him till a dono was sent to you, “yeah, (y/n) you just suck at this game,” you gasped, your jaw hanging then you started pouting. it was clipped and one of your viewers sent it to dream. he suddenly started laughing harder and you asked him why he was laughing, with a pout still on your face. “even your chat knows i didn’t cheat!” you started laughing too, till you read a message in the chat saying, “ew, their laugh is ugly. i don’t know why dream likes them.” you stopped laughing but kept a fake smile on your face.

“then he called me and he told me that he didn’t think we should be dating anymore, or even be friends. and i think it was because he saw the hate i was getting and he didn’t like that. he told me a different reason as to why he didn’t think we should date anymore but i didn’t believe it, but i let him go. because i was not going to force him to be with me if he really did mean it. “ you said, sniffling after so you didn’t sound too congested as you spoke.

after you hung up, you curled into a ball and cried. you cried, and cried, and cried. the feeling in your chest hurting more than you could ever imagine. you just lost the guy you wanted to marry, the guy you had spent over a year going to because of your problems, the guys you saw having kids with, the guy that made everything worth it. he was the only person on your mind as the pain in your chest grew. you tweeted and powered your phone off straight after. you didn’t want anyone messaging you asking what was wrong, knowing your friends they would do that.

“so the reason i took a break from streaming was because of that. because i resented the people that sent me hate so much i couldn’t bring myself to stream. i didn’t resent them because they sent me hate. i resent them because the hate they sent me caused the guy i really wanted to be with to make me believe he didn’t love me like i love him.” now, you were sobbing, letting your cry’s out because you had been holding them in for too long.

it had been a few months and you were on snapchat, seeing that you had a memory a year ago today, you checked it. “i think i literally met my soulmate.” with a picture of you and clay in a discord call. your breath got caught in your throat and your breathing became labored. your eyes started stinging as the tears started falling. it’s happening again, all the pain from the day you stopped talking to him came back and once again, you were crying into your hands and you couldn’t stop.

“i had always known that becoming a streamer i would get hate, but i never thought that i would get enough hate to prevent a relationship i really wanted to work. now all i do is reminisce of a guy i wish could be mine”

“streaming has brought me so many opportunities and i am so grateful for everything you guys have done for me, and for me to be able to do something i love and make money from it is insane to me. you guys have given me everything i ever wanted in life up until that point and i am so grateful and appreciative of that. you guys gave me friendships that i will never lose and never forget. so many of you have told me that i’ve saved you and changed your lives but trust me when i say you guys have saved me and changed my life too. i hope i repaid you back by making you smile, being your comfort streamer, and being a support system for each of you. but i think this is my end of the road. i fucking love streaming, i love you guys. but every time i click that “go live” button or even try to, all i think about is him and that’s too painful for me right now. maybe in the future i’ll find my way back here but i can’t promise that.”

“thank you guys, so, so, so, so, much for every single opportunity given to me, for everything. i love you all. my dms are still open. and this was (y/s/n), signing off for possibly the last time. goodbye everyone.”

end stream. *click*

a tear rolling down his face and falling onto his keyboard as he watched you finally say goodbye to your stream. it all just felt like you were saying your last goodbye to him again.

for the last 6 months all clay could do was think about you and how he wished he just messaged you and told you he was sorry and didn’t mean what he said. that he misses you and he would quit streaming if that meant he could be with you. that all he wanted was to feel you in his arms again and just live out the future you two planned together.

but if you just said goodbye to your chat for your last stream because you couldn’t stand the thought of him whenever you tried to stream. how could you ever forgive him?

the thought of never speaking to you hit him once more and again, he cried, sobbed, screamed, threw things, and even then, he knew.. you would never be coming back to him, with every fiber in his being, wishing you would.

—————

taglist: @loxbbg @bozowrites @noahsfag @sparklykeylime @bi-narystars @axths @cheybaee @letsloveimagines @meatte @julesamen21 @classyunknownlover @bad268 @strawbrinkofdeath

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luci-in-trenchcoats · 3 years ago

Text

The Red Hood (Part 1)

Summary: While on a job, the reader runs into The Red Hood. She discovers his true identity to be Dean Winchester from one of the wealthiest families in the city. She knows he’s made a few enemies and tries to take advantage of that fact to get something she needs in return...

Masterlist

Pairing: Vigilante!Dean x criminal!reader

Word Count: 1,500ish

Warnings: language, fighting

A/N: Enjoy!

________

“Oh, crap,” you said, feeling the binding around your torso. You thought you’d made it out clean. But if it was someone using a gadget like that, it wasn’t any security guard. You grunted as you saw a figure emerge from the shadows, a hood up and a mask covering his eyes. “Let me walk and you can have the money.”

“Not my style,” he said. He walked over carefully, tilting his head at you. His cautious approach stopped when he suddenly stepped over and ripped the mask covering your face off. You scowled at him but he simply stared. “I’m taking you in.”

He bent down and you used the opportunity to swing your legs up and wrap around his neck. He went wide eyed and glared at you but you smirked.

“Goodnight Mr. Vigilante,” you said. He tried pulling you off but he lost consciousness quickly. You let him drop to the ground and moved your leg back, managing to grab the knife in your boot. You sliced through the lower bindings and eventually got the ropes off. You almost left when you saw the unconscious Red Hood on the ground. It wouldn’t hurt to have a little blackmail after all. You pulled out your phone and pushed down his hood, ripping off the mask over his eyes. You took a few pictures of the man, something familiar about him.

You grinned when you recognized him as the ward of the biggest tech company in the city.

If you played your cards right, a week from now you’d be loaded and sipping mai tais on the beach, never having to worry about pulling a job ever again.

“Shit!” you shouted the next evening, jumping straight back into your counter. The Red Hood was standing silently at the edge of your kitchen, narrowing his eyes at you. He threw down a manila envelope on the counter and stalked over to you.

“I don’t negotiate with criminals,” he said.

“I don’t think it’d look too good if Dean Winchester were to be found out as The Red Hood. With all the crimes you’ve committed yourself. I bet that’d ruin a few of your family’s contracts,” you said. You reached up to grab his hood when he caught your wrist. “I felt I was very generous with my offer.”

“Fifty million is generous?” he scoffed. He shoved your wrist away and put his back to you, tugging his hood back. He slipped his eye mask down around his neck and glanced over his shoulder. “I should throw you in prison.”

“For stealing from rich people? They can afford it just like you can afford this. Take it out of your trust fund. I bet no one would even notice,” you said.

“What do you need that much money for?”

“What do you need it for? None of your business.”

“The answer is no.”

“Then I guess your photo of you out cold at a crime scene in your little costume will be on the news very, very shortly.”

“It’s an excessive amount,” he said.

“Your family is billionaires. You got the cash.”

“I can’t move that much without red flags.”

“Figure it out.”

“I could just make you disappear,” he said, stepping in front of you. “You couldn’t stop me.”

“You only murder the bad guys and unfortunately for you, I just steal things and knock people out. It’s not justified. Your old partner, that bat guy, even he didn’t kill people,” you said.

“He let me down, more than once. I do things the way they need to be done,” he said. “Don’t think because you’re a woman you get special treatment.”

“Wouldn’t expect it,” you said. “Give me my money and you will never hear from me again.”

“Five million.”

“No way.”

“Five million a month for the next ten months,” he said. “It won’t raise too many eyes. I can justify a cost for that.”

“Fifty. One payment,” you said, crossing your arms.

“What the hell do you need with that much money?”

“Maybe I want to donate to charity. It’s not your concern. You have three days to get my money into that bank account. If you don’t, you and your entire family’s business are going down. Have I made myself clear?”

“I will find all copies and when I do, you’re gonna have a big problem. Count on it.”

He went out your back door and you rolled your eyes, already making plans to have extra copies out there just in case.

Three Days Later

“You’re good,” said Marcus. You stared at him and he smiled. “You’re clean kid. Debt repaid with interest. Your family is safe again. Any interest in working for me again? You’ll get to keep some of the profits now.”

“I’m not meant for this line of work,” you said. “Lose my number?”

“You’re not as bad as you think. Just got a pesky conscious. Enjoy retirement,” he said. You hummed and quickly left, taking a deep breath.

Half an hour later you were heading to the airport with five million dollars in your bank account and ready to go start over.

Two Days Later

“Nice view,” said a voice behind you. You sat up from your chair by the pool, staring up at Dean as he smiled. “Nice house. A little smaller than I was expecting for fifty million dollars in the bank. If you had fifty million that was. More like five now, hm?”

“I still have copies,” you said as he sat in the chair beside you.

“Oh, I know,” he said, stealing your drink. “Whoa, fruity and a lot of rum.”

“What do you want?”

“My plan was to hunt you down and get my money back and get you to give up the copies and get you thrown in prison. But I’ve had a change of heart.”

“Really. Just like that.”

“If you told me innocent lives were in danger, I could have been a lot nicer. Marcus is an unforgiving criminal. But even he could let a mistake go for forty five million, right?”

“I owed him ten. The thirty five was interest. I screwed up a job when I wouldn’t kill a guard. He lost the pay. I started working for him most every night to pay it off. If I didn’t, he’d deal with my family over on the other coast. He’s connected enough to have them watched. For forty five million, they are safe.”

“Sounds like you owe me five million dollars,” he said, holding out his hand. “Fork it over.”

“I can’t live there anymore. I need to be out of that city,” you said.

“You’ll come back eventually. But you owe me five million dollars,” he said. You dropped your head and sighed, resting your head in your hands. “Or you can give me every single copy of the photos and agree to never steal another thing in your life and in exchange, I will pretend you didn’t take five million for yourself.”

“Are you serious?” you said, snapping your head up. He leaned back in the chair and closed his eyes behind his sunglasses. “Why would you do that?”

“Why didn’t you tell Marcus who I was? That would have cleared whatever you owed and then some,” he said. You shrugged and he smiled. “I have a sneaking suspicion you’re a good person. Don’t worry, I won’t tell the other criminals.”

You reached to your left and grabbed your phone, deleting the picture and then permanently deleting it again.

“You never had copies,” he said.

“Nope. You could have taken my phone and that would have been that.”

“Then I guess that settles that,” he said. “Nice place to retire to.”

“Yup,” you said.

“Mind if I crash here? Considering I bought this place and all.”

“Why are you staying here?”

“I did something yesterday. My old partner called me up, told me I ought to take a break for a bit. He had some valid points,” he said. “No one’s ever knocked me out before.”

“I have many skills,” you said. He chuckled and stretched out his body.

“I bet you do. So am I staying?”

“You can stay if you get me a refill,” you said, taking the glass from him and drinking the rest of the liquid. You held it out to him and he sat up.

“Alright. Don’t go running off on me again.”

“I think this time I’ll stay put.”

“Glad to hear it, sweetheart.”

“For now.”

“Oh really? Where you thinking of going?”

“Home to Gotham. Eventually,” you said. He stared at you and glanced down, nodding to himself.

“How about a nice vacation in the meantime?” he asked.

“After you. Sweetheart.”

_______

A/N: Read Part 2 here!

#spn #supernatural #au #au!dean x reader #dean x reader #red hood!dean #dean winchester x reader #spn fanfiction #supernatural fanfiction

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young-dumb-and-vaccinated · 4 years ago

Text

The Cult Girl (Hannibal x Female!Reader) pt. 3

So I picked option 2 cause I just had more ideas around it. I could probably still do 1 and 3 sometime but this is the direction we're going now. Y/n gets a call from her horrible grandmother who is expecting a visit.

Trigger warning: discussions of emotional and mental abuse, gaslighting

That night at his dining table was the start of something wonderful. You made a point to apply a bit of perfume to your neck before you left your apartment. Your three slightly judgmental but overall supportive roommates even donated a few drops of their own fragrances from time to time.

You didn’t like the sound of the sentence “Hannibal is my boyfriend”. It just didn’t hit your ear right. ‘Boyfriend’ was too childish of a title for him. By extension, he found something very diminutive about referring to you as his girlfriend. You were, of course, a grown woman. He remedied this right away, resigning to call you his ‘darling’. You, however, had to use ‘partner’ as a placeholder until a more suitable pet name presented itself. Although the titles were never stated outright, after a while, you knew it was more than just a passionate affair. Hannibal (and you were calling him Hannibal, now) saw potential in you. He nurtured you and had been since day one.

Finally, things were starting to go your way. You were in classes you loved, had wonderful, supportive friends and a fulfilling relationship. It took over twenty years, but better late than never.

But, if there was one thing you learned from your short stint as a student of physics, it was that what goes up must come down. Your long-awaited bliss was about to be tested by an equal and opposite force bearing the name “Beatrice [L/N]” on the caller ID.

Not only did she call, but she called three times in the middle of your meal. And that was followed by multiple texts, several of which containing words like “emergency” in all caps. You were just trying to enjoy another one of Hannibal’s culinary works of art, but the old bitch was persistent.

You apologetically excused yourself from the table and retreated to the office with your phone.

Grandma, you had better be on your fucking deathbed. You thought to yourself before sliding the green answer icon across the screen.

“[F/N]!” Came her shrill voice. “You finally answered. I was beginning to worry.”

“What do you want, grandma?” You groan.

“I wanted to ask you what you were wearing to Anna’s wedding next weekend.” She explained, calmly as ever. “The color scheme is seafoam and coral and she wants to make sure everyone adheres to it for pictures.”

You covered the speaker with your hand and pulled your phone away from your ear so she couldn’t hear you bite back a scream. It physically pained you to return the phone to your ear. “Yeah, I RSVPed no to Anna’s wedding.”

“[F/N],” Your grandmother said in that scolding tone you knew all too well. “Your cousin expects you to be there. I expect you to be there. I invested so much money into this wedding, I will take it as a personal affront if you don’t attend.”

You take everything as a personal affront. You thought.

“It doesn’t matter, I already said no. She’s not going to have a chair or food for me.” You explained, hoping that you found some way out of this conversation.

“No, she will.” Your grandma corrected. “I won’t have any child of mine absent from another’s wedding. I put in all the work to pull this event together.”

For a moment, you almost felt bad for Anna. Having to endure your grandmother’s micromanaging was a circle of hell even Dante refused to tread.

"Of course, heaven forbid someone in your life show an ounce of autonomy." You finally snapped.

"I don't know why you're acting so rude, but it stops now." Grandma ordered. "I raised you as my own daughter. You should be more grateful for the luxuries I can extend to you. I didn't have to take you in, you know..."

It pained you to stay quiet when all you wanted to say was "I wish you hadn't".

"Your emotional manipulation isn't going to work on me anymore." You informed her.

“So, naturally, I’ve seen to it that you are expected." She continued her own conversation without even acknowledging yours. "You and a plus one, of course.”

You hadn’t even considered the possibility of attending the wedding with Hannibal. The two points never once intersected. And they never would. You vowed that Hannibal would never meet your grandmother or cousins. At that moment, that was the hill you were willing to die on.

“If I come at all, I’m coming alone.” You snap. “You can punish me all you want but I am not letting you get him involved.”

“Him?” Your grandma repeated. “So there is someone?”

“Someone you are keeping me from.” You said, thoroughly frustrated and now panicked at the idea that your grandmother knew Hannibal existed. “Goodbye.”

You didn't want to rejoin Hannibal in such a sour mood, but you didn't want to keep him waiting either. You returned even more apologetically than you left and took your seat.

"Everything alright, love?" He asked. You could tell he was raring to psychoanalyze you.

You shook your head. "It was my grandma."

"I could tell that much." He admitted, beginning to cut into his steak. "What with all the frustration you're trying so desperately to hide. What did she want?"

"She called to tell me she expects me at my cousin's wedding next Saturday." You rolled your eyes. "I'd already declined the invitation, but she didn't like that, apparently."

"Which cousin is this?" He probed. "The one that works as an engineer for Halliburton?

"No, that's Theresa." You shook your head. "And she works for Halliburton, but she's not an engineer. She's a PR executive."

"Right." Hannibal nodded, taking a bite of steak between his teeth. "She took after your grandmother and turned gaslighting into a career."

You smiled a bit. "Right."

"So, it's Anna, then?" He concluded. "You haven't told me much about her. Perhaps she is the benign tumor of the family?"

"More or less." You shrugged. "She works at a publishing agency. Only got the job because her boyfriend's uncle's the CFO. She didn't even make it to the interview. It was pure nepotism."

"And now she's marrying the boyfriend, I presume?"

"Yeah." You felt a grin cross your face thinking about what you were going to say next. "She wasn't even dating him at the time. She was dating someone else and cheating on him with the guy she's marrying now."

Hannibal grinned. "You like knowing this? Having information that could potentially ruin her life?"

You knew there was no use in lying. The look on your face said it all. "Absolutely I do. When you're the black sheep of the family, you've gotta take power where you can get it. Mine just so happens to be potential blackmail."

"I'm quite delighted to be privy to this side of you, love." He smiled. "We're a bit vindictive, now are we?"

"Are you kidding?" You snicker. "These are the girls that psychologically tormented me growing up. Of course I'm vindictive."

"So about this wedding." He didn't look up from his plate. "Do they expect you to bring a date?"

"They do." You nod, your eyes wandering off. "But I can't let them meet you. They're just so unspeakably rude all the time."

For some reason, you felt that this didn't deter him. Perhaps it even compelled him a little. "Oh?"

"They take this really strange pride in making scenes everywhere they go." You explained. "They've already ruined so much of my life. I can't even give them the opportunity to ruin this too."

"Darling," Hannibal leaned in. "Is there a part of you that wants to attend this event?"

You held your tongue before you said anything you both know to be untrue. "...maybe a small part."

"That small part of you that wants power. That wants justice." He nodded. "Indulge it for a moment. What does this wedding look like to you?"

Trying to keep up the illusion that you hadn't thought of this before, you paused for a moment. "...we would show up--you and I--and I'd be wearing a stunning gown that doesn't fit the stupid color scheme at all. And there's just an unspoken knowledge that I could absolutely ruin Anna's entire day. Anna and Theresa and Grandma are all being nice to me because if I so much as mention the name of that boyfriend she cheated on, I'd ruin her life and possibly her career. So finally I hold all the cards."

Hannibal looked proud. He took a sip of his wine. "You want to be powerful, but with just enough restraint so they know you're the bigger person."

"Exactly." You agreed.

"Perhaps my fondness for you is clouding my professional judgment, darling." He put his wine glass down. "The thought of you in an evening gown, commanding attention and reverence... that's just something I have to see."

"...something you have to see?" You met eyes with him, realizing you were on the same page.

Your phone buzzed in your pocket again. This time, you didn't feel the need to step out.

"Hey [F/N], care to explain why my sister is crying?" Theresa snapped through the receiver.

"Is someone cutting onions nearby?" You offered. "That usually makes me tear up."

"Fucking hell, for once in your meaningless life can you care about someone other than yourself?!" Theresa yelled. "Grandma told us you're not coming to the wedding."

You looked back at Hannibal, who gave you a nod. "Actually, I am. We are."

#hannibal lecter #hannibal x you #hannibal x reader #reader insert #hannibal nbc

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lovesgonnabe · 4 years ago

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Love Is Worth It Episode V - We Got The Pandemic Blues Under a New York City Skyline

Characters: Chris Evans x Maya Alonso-Evans (Black OFC)

Warnings: straight fluff, cursing, implied smut.

Word Count: 3485

Summary: What happens in NYC stays in NYC!

AN: The NYC Skyline prompt is by @iguessweallcrazyithinktho thank you so much for letting me use your theme I hope I did it justice. If you haven't read any of her stuff what are you doing get on it!

Disclaimer: There’s only slight edits so there may be errors. Also if you haven’t noticed this series will have many time jumps and things referenced here may make more sense later on in the series when new episodes come out so please bear with me.

Taglist: @thesecretlifeofdaydreamss, @canadian-girl87, @i-just-like-fanfics, @omg-mymelaninisbeautiful if you would like to join the taglist message me.

Please leave a note and tell me what you think!

June 13th, 2020

Being with Chris had its many perks but not working was definitely one Maya never wanted to take advantage of.

When Chris first brought it up when they got engaged she looked at him like he had two heads and said “I worked to hard put myself through school to get these expensive ass letters behind my name to just stay my ass at home” and that was the last time they had that conversation.

But fast forward to 2020 If you told Maya that she would have to close both of her dermatology offices in the middle of award season a few months ago she would have laughed at you.

She just couldn’t see herself not working because she loved what she does, but with both New York and Boston putting in place stay at home orders there’s nothing she could do.

It didn't help that it was only Maya in Boston dealing with work and all that entails, Delilah's up in the air school situation, and a whole hoax of things while Chris was in L A being as supportive of a husband and father as he could be on the other side of the country.

At least Dodger was being pretty normal.

Thanks to Chris's family for being so helpful where they could because for a minute Maya felt like she was beginning to drown.

This saga starts with the beginning of the pandemic.

January was chill there were whispers that there was a deadly pandemic on the horizon but no one took it seriously.

February Chris had left at the beginning of the month to LA to promote his new show Defending Jacob and it wasn't like anything out of the ordinary the couple worked, and called each other daily.

Chris told her he'd have to be there through March but would be home in time for Maya's birthday in April.

Her lawsuit against Boston PD was settled out of court for an undisclosed amount that was donated to charity and trust me that lawsuit cost them a pretty penny because Chris was threatening to go to the press and Boston PD did not need anymore negative press.

After finding out that the older officer already had many reports against him for abuse of power he was "let go" by Boston PD and the other officer was demoted to desk duty and sent Maya an apology letter for his actions

She thinks he only did it because her husband is Chris Evans but she tries not to be a cynic.

In mid March with her offices were forced to close and the lives of her twenty employees were in her hands, but sin there was no money coming in she had to regrettably furlough all of them until she could open back up.

This news could come at a worse time because Lilah's school was trying to transition them to online learning for the rest of the year.

So Maya now had to also be her home school teacher for the last 2 months before summer vacation .

Maya does feel blessed because she was still able to teach some derm online classes through NYU, and her family was healthy but Chris still wasn't home.

Because of travel restrictions in LA on April 1st Maya found out that the earliest Chris could be home was in possibly July or Mid June if they are lucky because he need to start filming for Grey Man that was set in Boston.

Then rumors started to swirl that Chris could be cheating on Maya but

She doesn't play that and isn't a dummy

Chris isn't stupid and

He's been in their home in LA quarenting with his brother Scott the whole time so if some foul shit did happen she would be the first one to know and on the first jet smoking to beat some ass.

But hey when it rains it pours.

In interviews Chris would say he was "quartining with his family at home in Boston."

They would try to make the spaces look just like Chris and Maya's homebase in Boston even going as far as strategically moving photos of them in the background to make it look like his office at home.

And it actually work most people thought Chris was in Boston anyways and it was all gossip the others thought he went back home to clean up this mess.

But nope Chris was not in Boston he was 2,764 miles away and this time it all just felt different and he hated not being able to be there with them during this crazy uncertain time and Maya just needed a vacation.

In April Maya and Delilah just had dinner at the house for her birthday they facetimed Chris and once Liliah had gone to bed Chris and Maya had sexytime over the phone.

The rest of the month Maya just went with the flow and did the same through June.

Now we are all caught up and in the present day.

It's Chris's 39th birthday but he was still in LA.

Maya stayed up to call him at midnight in LA because that was their tradition but now it was about 12pm and Chris has not picked up any of her phone calls Maya was annoyed.

Maya and Delilah sat in the Den as Maya was detangling Delilah's freshly washed hair getting ready to put her curly hair into braids as Mulan played on the tv in front of them.

"Mommy can I call dad it's his birthday and I haven't got to talk to him today. Lilah says playing with Maya's phone.

"Go ahead sweetheart maybe you'll have better luck them me." said Maya as she sectioned Lilah's hair.

As the facetime ringtone went Dodger who was laying in his dog bed next to Lilah began to bark and then he ran for the front door Maya looked that way but didn't see anything since the alarm didn't go off either which she found strange.

She shrugged it off only for a second until she heard a bag hit the ground as she quickly stood up the only thought in her head was to protect Delilah helping her to hide under the couch.

As the person entered their den Dodger continued to bark and she grabbed a pair hair scissors about to attack the intruder until she saw his face and exhaled the breath she didn't even know she was holding.

"CHRIS you scared the shit out of me" she said before he could say anything.

He laughed "Baby I didn't mean to scare you" Chris said

Lilah screamed and crawled from under the couch.

"daddy, daddy, daddy I missed you and Happy Birthday." Lilah said running into Chris's arm.

"I missed you to babycakes you been taking care of mommy for me" Chris said holding Lilah and walking towards a still shocked Maya.

He kissed Maya's forehead trying to pull her into a hug but she rolled her eyes and pushed his hand away.

"Chris i thought you weren't coming home till July" Maya asked

Chris shrugged "plans change now are you gonna come and give daddy a kiss you what"

He said flopping on the couch with Lilah on his lap.

Mays sucked her teeth peeked his lips and told Lilah to come so she could finish her hair.

Her saltiness cause Chris to laugh as Lilah moved over to her mom.

They were sitting on the same couch so Chris bent over and began to whisper in her ear. "Stop acting like that baby I wanted to surprise you"

Maya gave minimal response and Chris didn't like that so then he brought heat.

When he walked Maya had on a beige short set the top was fairly tin and the shorts barely covered her ass, he could see her nipples stand at attention on her delicious breast when walked.

It's been 3 months since he's had sex with his wife and boy can he feel it. He gave her tigh a firm squeeze now pecking her spot behind her ear forcing Maya to stop mid greasing Lilah's scalp to take a deep breath.

"if you stop acting up tonight I'll do that thing with my tongue that you like if not daddy won't be letting you cum at all tonight.

Chris said moving his body back to his original position smirking at his shooken up wife whose attitude did a 180 quick, fast and in a hurry.

Chris was no home and with his girls and he couldn’t be any happier.

After braiding Delilah's hair Maya went and they dropped her off at Chris’s moms which was a fight in itself because she wanted to stay with her daddy but Maya had other plans.

The original plan was to take Chris out of the country for his birthday but plans change.

Before Chris showed up today Maya had nothing planned for Chris's birthday because he was not suppose to be home they were just going to the same thing they did for her birthday.

On there way back home my had an idea with there hands intertwined Maya began to speak.

“So birthday boy what do you want to do for your birthday” Maya asked

“You know I don’t care as long as I’m with you my love” Chris said kissing her hand.

Maya giggled “Well we’ve dropped Dede at your moms and Scott said he could take Dodger”

She states looking at the puppy through the rear view mirror as Chris began to rub is thumb over her knuckles.

“It seems you already have a plan for us babe” he smirks

“I know you are just getting home but how about we drop Dodger off and I was thinking maybe drive to New York, I need to get out of Boston and have a bit of a staycation”. She said.

Chris chuckled and looked at Maya as the stopped at the red light.

“Wherever you lead I’ll follow. He said

“You are so corny old man” Maya laughed as she leaned over and peek his sweet lips.

They continued their drive to Scotts and talked enjoying eachothers company for the first time in a while, they were so wrapped up in each other that Dodger had to bark to remind Chris he was about to pass Scoots house .

Maya laughed at the puppy then pet him telling him how good of a dog he is.

“Alright birthday boy Scott has Dodger now let's switch its my turn to drive you around” She said.

They headed home to pick up a few things and then The Evans were off and headed for there trip.

After the 3 and 1/2 hour drive they got to New York and the barren streets shocked them.

They are staying in there penthouse apartment on the upper east side that over looks Central Park and New York's famous skyline.

Before settling in Maya decided to get groceries once she got back Jazz played softly in her ears as the punchy aroma of the candle Slow Burn hit her nose.

“Hey Chris I'm back” she called out to him.

She was met without a response just the smooth stylings of Frank Sinatra.

Maya put the groceries in the kitchen and headed to their master bedroom.

Kicking her shoes off and following the rose petals into the bathroom that revealed Chris who sat in all his glory in the pink tinted bathtub.

Apparently he did not hear her as his eyes stayed closed and his arms outstretched.

And all Maya could do was admire the greek god that was her husband.

His long wingspan encompassed the entire back of the tub as his strong biceps would flex ever deep breath he took. And don't to get Maya started on those baby blues which were one of the only things Lilah did not get from Chris. Those same blue eyes were now looking straight at her.

“I was hoping you’d be back soon” he said

Raising his head to look at his goddess of a wife smirking at him.

“So I’m guessing you would like me to join you?” She asked

Maya teased him as she began to slowly remove her clothes.

“Hey aren’t I the birthday boy that shouldn’t even be a question Maya so you better bring your sexy ass in here” Chris said to her as his arms still laid on the back of the tub looking like a king”

Maya stepped in with Chris’s help the warm water encapsulating her body as she sinks down.

She sighs in satisfaction when her body is finally completely in the water as she lays into Chris’s embrace.

They just sit there and enjoy each other company, washing the dirt off of each other from the day, and stealing kisses from one another.

Maya and Chris were that couple you loved to hate they didn’t show off their love that much with Chris’s anxiety and Maya’s destain for public scrutiny because she’s black woman with a man of Chris stature, PDA was mostly off the table. However behind closed doors they are the cutest most intimate couple you’d ever meet.

Once she was clean from her road dirt Maya left the water first placing a kiss on Chris’s lips as she headed to start dinner and Chris laid back and continued to relax.

Once Chris finally got out the bath he found Maya in the kitchen halfway finished with dinner.

“Jesus babe it smells fantastic in here and I see you changed the music” Chris said

He was now fully dressed in a blue t-shit in matching joggers, his hair damp from the bath as Lauryn Hill's rendition of Can't Take My Eyes off of You played in the background.

She chuckled “only the best for you my king”

"Mhm I like the sound of that" He said as he went in the fridge and grabbed a bottle of white wine and poured them both a glass.

She was at the counter cutting up veggies.

“Ok so how long do I have wait before I can devour all this?” he asked placing the glass in front of Maya.

They took their first cheers of the night tapping the glasses together.

Maya took a sip and moan at the taste of the wine.

“Soon Chris don’t stress it babe you will be fed very soon” she said.

Her hips began to sway to the music as she hummed along.

At long last, love has arrived, and I thank God I'm alive

Chris walked up behind her wrapping her arms around waist swaying with her body and catching the rhythm.

You're just too good to be true, can't take my eyes off you

Moving her hair to her left shoulder Chris begins to kiss her neck.

"Remember when we first bought this place." Chris asked

"Yes you didn't want to you said my place in Brooklyn was enough for us" Maya said putting the knife down and melted into Chris's strong arms.

"Mmm but you did an excellent job at convincing me why we need this place, 3 bedrooms right in the Heart of the city just for times likes these when want to get away." Chris said with his arms still wrapped around her.

She laughed "I thought it was because you fucked me against the balcony on our terrace is why you said yes"

He smirked at the memory "well that to"

Chris sucked on her neck and moved his down her satin dress but the timer on the pot decided to be a cock block and go off before he could make a move.

He groaned and Maya laughed directed him to get ready to eat.

Just as the food was finishing up Chris set the dining table for two, taking the rest of the flowers from his bath laying them out between the kitchen and there Terrence where they were having dinner overlooking the city.

It was a beautiful night. There was a soft breeze and the city was a glow quieter that usual but still a sight to behold.

Maya brought out the food as Chris poured them another glass, they both sat prayed then rose their glasses to cheers again.

During dinner Chris made some corny jokes that always seemed to put Maya in a better mood as Maya would slyly rub her foot up Chris’s pant leg.

Next came dessert still out on the terrace they shared a slice of cake (more like Maya fed Chris cake) which is how she ended up in his lap enjoying the very expensive yet immaculate view they had from their home.

He rubbed her thigh as he kisses her shoulder just thinking of the fastest way to get Maya out of her dress.

"god you are beautiful" Chris said

His hand now playing with the trim of her panties under her strappy white satin dress.

"Oh no birthday boy you not fucking me out here tonight you gotta come inside for your last present" Maya said.

Chris groaned Maya got up seductively waking back inside her curves just begging him to follow her

“This woman Is going to be the death of me” Chris thought as he came back inside and closed the door that lead to the terrace.

Maya handed Chris his third and final glass of wine of the night.

He raised an eyebrow "Are you trying to get me drunk Mrs. Evans so you can have your way with me?" he asked.

Taking a sip from his glass he smacked Maya the ass and watched it move as she walked towards their living room.

She laughed "I wouldn't have to get you drunk to have my way with you Mr. Evans"

Their living room had floor to ceiling windows that overlook Chris's second favorite city, and that's where Maya stood wine glass in hand looking all the people that looked like ants. But all Chris could think about was how this woman fell for him.

She watched the scenery and he watched her but when that signature trumpet blew he remembered that the music was still playing and so did she.

Maya turned around to see Chris was watching her one hand in his pocket and the other still holding his wine, she made a face at him.

"What are you looking at me like that Chris, you ok?” she asked hand on her hip taking another drink from her glass.

The moon shined off her skin like she was in the sun, her white dress reminding him of their wedding day the way it hugged her figure.

Still speechless Chris walked up to her placing both of their glasses on the coffee table, he brushed her hair behind her ear and she moans nuzzling her head in his touch.

"Baby I am absolutely perfect because I am here with you" he says.

Chris softly pulls her by the waist bringing her flush against her body as raspy voice of Louis Armstrong in Le Vie En Rose brought butterfly’s to Maya’s stomach because this was their song.

His hands lay softly on her waist as her arms lay around his shoulder as they dancer slowly around there living room.

Hold me close and hold me fast, The magic spell you cast, this is la vie en rose.

His cologne sent waves of pleasure and warmth through her body, when Maya laid her head on his chest not wanting to let him go. As their heartbeat became in sync the moonlight casted their sillones on the ground.

They were two lovers who were lost in eachother hoping to never get out and wanting to hide from the world it felt new but familiar.

Once the song ended Chris kissed her so deep and and passionately Maya thought she was gonna cum then and there.

Chris's hands moved from their previously respectable position making circle on her hips to the bottom of her ass telling Maya to jump causing Maya wrap her chocolate legs around his waist.

As Chris walked he kept repeating how much he missed Maya so much while he was in LA.

They couldn’t even make it back to their bedroom for their first round of many.

And Maya was a goner as Chris made love to her all night in every corner of their apartment as the city watched as the couple were engulfed with each other.

But there was a little voice in the back of Maya's head "Well damn how are we going to top 40 next year" it asked.

The preoccupied side of her brain shooed hat thought away so she could just enjoy being with her man at this moment.

Thanking god there was no more space between them like the miles before.

#chris evans fanfiction #chris evans x black ofc #chris evans x black!reader #chris evans x poc!reader #chris evans x reader #chris evans x black reader #chris evans x ofc #chris evans x original female character #chris evans x black women

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plaidbooks · 4 years ago

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Nicknames and Slumps - “The Big Leagues” baseball AU

(moodboard by @witches-unruly-heart)

A/N: Here’s chapter 2 of the Baseball AU! I know I mentioned some chapters going towards the Summer Bingo--and they will--but I wanted to establish Sonny in this universe a little bit, first. This chapter takes place in the off season, and the beginning to Sonny’s second season of pitching for the Mets. Like before, feel free to DM me any questions you have about baseball/the AU!

Also, shoutout to @thatesqcrush and her husband for answering my arbitrary Mets questions!

P.S. Aquafresh is a brand of toothpaste

Tags: yelling, otherwise none

Words: 1803

Taglist: @witches-unruly-heart @beccabarba @thatesqcrush @itsjustmyfantasyroom @permanentlydizzy @ben-c-group-therapy @infiniteoddball @glowingmess @whimsicallymad @lv7867 @storiesofsvu @cycat4077 @alwaysachorusgirl @glimmerglittergirl @joanofarkansass @redlipstickandblacktea @reading--mermaid @averyhotchner @mrsrafaelbarba @detective-giggles @crowleysqueenofhell @dreamlover31

Sonny’s first year in the majors was almost flawless. Outside of his perfect game in his sixth start, he was dominate; he kept his ERA hovering around the low 1.00’s, and he was still undefeated. He did, however, have a few no decisions, only two of which were his fault. But besides that, he was the star everyone talked about. He even won the Rookie of the Year award; something almost unheard of with pitchers. The Cy Young award shocked no one, and the Mets were frantically offering him more money, trying to keep him. As if he’d go anywhere else.

Even with his spectacular pitching, the Mets didn’t make it to the post-season. But as the Mets watched the World Series from their homes, all anyone could talk about was the kid, Sonny Carisi.

He had gained notoriety among sportscasters and journalists for his outstanding performance on the field. But the fans adored him for his off days, and for how he conducted himself off the field. Not only did Sonny donate most of his time in the off season—not to mention his money—to multiple volunteer organizations, but he also offered to do signings at small, struggling mom and pop shops for free. He’d bring in huge crowds, spending hours at these events, taking pictures, signing autographs, talking to kids and adults alike.

While in the ballpark, on days he pitched, he would do his workouts in the trainer’s room, coming out of the dugout just to throw in the bullpen. He was focused, working on his mechanics. But on days he didn’t pitch, he was one of the first out on the field. Sonny had a penchant for hanging out right next to the dugout, signing autographs and taking pictures. He never declined—unless the umpire was yelling at him to get off the field so they could start the game—and he had a blast. And when he was in the outfield, shagging balls during batting practice, he’d toss them up to the crowd, or give them to kids with a huge smile.

Sonny’s trademark smile earned him his first nickname: Aquafresh. He threw his head back and laughed when he first heard it, loving it. He wasn’t as fond of his other nicknames that sprung up afterwards: Stringbean and Earthworm Jim being his least favorites. But there was one that apparently was going around that he didn’t hear from the crowd.

*************************

It was early morning, and he was watching the postgame wrap from the night before while he ate breakfast. Normally, Sonny didn’t watch the pre- or postgame commentary. But since he started dating you, he made it a point to watch if you were on. He smiled as he saw you wearing his jersey, thinking you were too damn cute, and wanting to cuddle with you on the couch.

The conversation slowly shifted from the game that happened to Sonny, as it normally did…not because you forced them to talk about him. In fact, you did your job as normal; it was your cohosts that would change the subject to him. And now that they knew—the world knew—that you two were dating, he almost wondered if it was on purpose, to see if you slip up on some personal info about him, or you two together.

“Speaking of Carisi, have you heard the new nickname? I heard the Staten Island Little Leaguers came up with it,” one of the guys said.

Sonny watched your face light up. “I have! They call him Peanut Butter Cup, right?” you asked, though he knew you didn’t need to; you never said anything that you couldn’t back up.

“Peanut Butter Cup? Where did they get that from?” another of your colleagues wondered out loud.

You smiled, and Sonny felt a swell of pride at your knowledge. “From his last name. They went from Carisi to Risi, then to Reese, then Reese’s and bam! Peanut Butter Cup,” you explained.

Sonny laughed, flushing with embarrassment, his heart warm. Children called him Peanut Butter Cup. Not for the first time, he felt an intense longing; Sonny wanted children, wanted a family. He was only 22, but he had known most of his life that he wanted to be a father. He made a mental note to bring up the prospect of children with you. It was still early in your relationship; you’ve been dating about five months, but with your jobs, you rarely saw each other. Hell, you saw each other more at work than off the field. Your relationship was mostly over text or phone calls, but he still felt deeply about you. He wasn’t sure if it was love yet, but he was hoping to get to know you more in person in the off season.

Once he finished breakfast, Sonny sent you a text: I saw your show from last night.

You responded almost instantly, unsurprising to him; your whole livelihood was on your phone. And? Did I do well?

He smiled, heart fluttering; he liked that you valued his opinion. Fantastic. Just one thing.

What??

I hate peanut butter.

***********************

Sonny Carisi was named the Opening Day starter for the Mets, shocking absolutely no one. He had just turned 23 and was already the best pitcher for the club, maybe even in baseball at the moment. Or so he, and everyone who watched him, thought. But that first game, the Cubs lit him up. Sonny gave up more runs in that game than he had in any other start combined. His manager took him out in the 4th, something that’s never happened to him before. When Sonny pitched, he was normally a shoo-in for at least 7 innings.

Frustrated, Sonny sat hard on the bench, not letting anyone outside the pitching coach talk to him.

“It happens to everyone eventually, Carisi. Just gotta let this roll off your back, come back strong your next outing.”

But that next outing, he did worse. He didn’t know what was happening to him. His command was perfect, his stuff great. It’s like everyone he faced suddenly could see right through him, knew every pitch he was going to throw before he threw it. It was infuriating. His ERA ballooned up to the 5.00’s, and he wondered dimly if the Mets would trade him.

Sonny eventually started shutting everyone out. He even stopped watching the pre- and postgame shows, whether you were on it or not. He stopped reading the articles you wrote, and he stopped reaching out. He even stopped being the first out of the dugout, stopped signing things by the dugout. On his days off, he spent it hiding in the locker room until game time. He didn’t want to field the questions about what was wrong with him; he didn’t have an answer, for them or himself.

************************

“Sonny, please open the door,” you called, knocking on the front door to his loft. He’d been avoiding you, and you worried about him.

You heard the latch unlock and took a step back. Sonny opened the door, looking annoyed. “What do you want?”

“I want to make sure my boyfriend is okay. Can I come in, please?” you asked. You knew he was frustrated, and that this may be something you’d have to deal with while dating. And you planned to force yourself into his life, to help him as best you could, whether he wanted to shut you out or not.

Sonny scoffed, turning and walking into his home. But he left the door open, and you followed, closing it behind you. “Of course, I’m not okay! Haven’t you been watching?”

“You know I have been. So, you’re in a slump; it happens—”

“Not to me!” he yelled, throwing his hands in the air.

You took a breath, staying calm. “It was bound to happen, babe.” You tried to put a comforting hand on his shoulder, but he shrugged you off.

“So, what? You’re going to side with those other analysts? Calling me a fluke and writing shitty articles about me?”

You flinched at the accusatory tone in his voice. “Of course, not—”

“Why not? Everyone else is doing it; I’m sure your bosses would eat it up.”

You sighed, trying to shove down your own defensiveness. “Would you please just listen to me for a moment?” He shot you a glare but didn’t speak up. “You know I analyze pitching for a living, right?”

“So? I’ve tried to make my fastball faster, tried to make my curve drop more, but I can’t—”

“Sonny,” you said softly, making him stop his rant. “Instead of trying to blow pitches passed batters, you should be working more on your mechanics and command. If batters are making contact, then make that work for you. Force grounders or popups, trust your defense to back you up; they’re there for a reason.”

His eyes scanned yours as he took in your words. “Th-that’s a great idea, actually….”

“I’m glad you think so,” you replied, smiling.

Sonny returned your grin. “I—I’m sorry for snapping at you,” he sighed heavily. “I just…I don’t know what’s changed between last season and now—”

“You’re not new anymore; teams can break down your pitching style. You won a Cy Young and Rookie of the Year; they’re all so threatened by you that they all probably studied the hell out of you.”

He nodded, feeling a little better with your praise. “Y-yeah….”

You reached up, cupping his face, making him look at you. “There’s nothing wrong with you or your pitching. The batters just stepped up their game. So now, you have to answer back, okay?”

He lifted a hand, placing it on top of yours, and turned his face in your hold, pressing his lips to your palm. “Thank you, doll. And again, I’m sorry for yelling—”

“It’s fine, Sonny. I understand that you’re frustrated,” you said, smiling.

He squeezed your hand. “It’s not fine; you’re just trying to help. I should listen to you more; you’re so smart, and not to mention beautiful. I promise to never snap at you again.”

Your smile grew, and you lifted to your tiptoes, giving him a tender kiss. He leaned down, deepening the kiss. He wrapped his arms around your back, pulling you flush against him, and you hummed into his mouth. Slowly, he pulled back, leaning his forehead against yours, rubbing his nose with yours.

“Just so you know, I’ve never, and will never, write a shitty article about you, or call you a fluke, Stringbean,” you muttered against his lips.

Sonny let out a chuckle. “You know, you’re the only person who can call me that to my face, and not have me get annoyed.”

You giggled, pressing your lips to his once more. And sure enough, his next start had him looking back to normal, except instead of striking out double digits, he forced grounders for eight scoreless innings.

#sonny carisi x reader #law and order svu #law and order svu fanfic #fanfic #my writing #the big leagues au #baseball!au #baseball!sonny

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steveleoparddd · 4 years ago

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Hello! I used to enjoy your (darren shan characters react to)) posts but you've never done them on tumblr anymore. could you please do a characters react to series or something like this? thank you

hey, thank YOU for this cuz honestly i have lots of fun making the whole “cdf characters if...” :3

I don;t know if i’ll be able to do a series bcs idk if i can be creative for so long but ill see what i can do !!! heres this for now.

CDF CHARACTERS MAKING APOLOGY VIDEOS

Steve

Title: Sorry.

Thumbnail: Simple black bg with a serious looking Steve, clenched jaw, looking at the camera with “Sorry” written in Impact font over his head

Duration: 1 minute 30 seconds.

Intro Music: N/A

Setting: his bedroom, wearing a simple black t-shirt. did he just wake up?

Content: Starts with him looking off to the side and shaking his head slowly. When he begins he vaguely mentions what happened, gives a not-so-clear reason for what he did, and then apologizes. Is it just me or did that feel a little dishonest? Wait it’s already ending? He smiles lightly and waves as video ends.

Ads: Yes. 6 ads.

Outro Music: Yes, the usual upbeat outro but it’s toned down

Description: Nothing to do with the apology but it DOES have links to his socials and website where you can buy his merch.

Darren

Title: My Apology......

Thumbnail: A teary-eyed Darren looking down, looking really sad. Oh damn, will he cry ???

Duration: 13 minutes

Intro Music: Yes, usual upbeat music with the whole animated intro.....

Setting: carpeted lounge floor, couch and french window in the background. is he in a costume? the hell is that pirate-shirt thing he’s wearing?

Content: Starts with him exhaling and looking at the camera. Shots of him that show him trying to compose himself or think of the right way to say all the things in his mind. He tells the entire thing that happened, tells his point of view (but that only makes things worse) and then promises to better himself and smiles and the video ends

By the way, he didn’t cry even once.

Ads: None

Outro Music: N/A

Description: The entire lyrics of “Sorry, Blame it On me” by Akon

Larten

Title: I Have Something To Say.....

Thumbnail: Just a frame from the video. It’s a bit pixelly/low quality because it was shot on phone.

Duration: 2 minutes

Intro Music: No

Setting: a cave???? where is he??? why’s he dressed so fancy in the middle of nowhere?

Content: Gets right into it, as if filming an Instagram story. There’s a brief one-second pause before he begins because he’s checking if the recorder is on. Then he goes into it. Turns out this isn’t an apology video, he’s just saying he’s in the right and won’t apologize. Doesn’t mention or acknowledge the situation...he’s just ranting about being right...oh god. it ends- like all his videos- abruptly.

Ads: None

Outro Music: N/A

Description: "Never apologize for doing what’s right. -Plato”

Kurda

Title: What Everyone Needs To Hear

Thumbnail: Blurred background, looking down....these emojis are on it 😨😢......

Duration: 10 minutes

Intro Music: N/A

Setting: his usual setup.

Content: he begins the video with a sponsorship about some bottle or whatever. he seems upbeat and happy, as usual, even when he addresses the situation and explains what he did. “so...that’s what happened. I am sorry to those offended by such a trivial matter. Your feelings matter, of course, but you take yourselves too seriously.” It’s giving very...mixed vibes. Is he sorry or not??

Ads: Nope

Outro Music: N/A

Description: “Facts (and logic) do not- and must not- care about our feelings - Unknown” (he genuinely doesn;t know where the qoute is from but he’s gonna get cancelled for this too--)

Harkat

Title: Harkat

Thumbnail: Black screen

Duration: 3 hours

Intro Music: No

Setting: N/A, we can’t see him, the screen is black at first with panting in the bg as if he just ran, then the screen shows his screen capture, minecraft is opening....

Content: He just plays minecraft. Doesn’t say a word.

Ads: None.

Outro Music: N/A

Description: a

Arra

Title: For the Crybabies

Thumbnail: Her giving the middle finger

Duration: 5 minutes

Intro Music: N/A

Setting: the gym. she’s sweaty and it seems as though she just finished an intense workout. there are a couple people behind her doing their thing.

Content: Sits down, she’s panting. Looks at the camera and goes off. She’s really angry and throws expletives like anything, it’s just 5 minutes of her chewing on the snowflakes that are trying to cancel her for stupid reasons.

Ads: None

Outro Music: N/A

Description: Fuck you

Vancha

Title: What you want

Thumbnail: his abs.

Duration: 30 seconds

Intro Music: N/A

Setting: THE FOREST???? WHY’S HE NAKED???

Content: we get a side-view of his bare torso as he does some push-ups. the video isn’t an apology? he talks about irrelevant things. video ends mid-sentence.

Ads: N/A

Outro Music: N/A

Description: Blank

Debbie

Title: I Am Sorry

Thumbnail: Hey crying really badly. It’s a frame from the video

Duration: 20 minutes

Intro Music: Yes, usual animated intro

Setting: an empty classroom ...????????

Content: It’s edited to show a clip from the middle of the video at the beginning, in which she’s crying really badly and apologizing. Then the intro plays and the video starts. She tells the whole story, also 2 other stories that aren’t relevant to the situation but she adds them anyway.

Ads: 3 ads.

Outro Music: Yes.

Description: Justifying why she had to add the ads, she’s gonna donate all money made off this to charity

Evanna

Title: The Truth

Thumbnail: A picture (with really low brightness) of a solemn Evanna dressed in black on a wooden floor with a skull beside her. A crow is perched on the skull.

Duration: 11 minutes 11 seconds

Intro Music: N/A

Setting: where the hell is she

Content: First few seconds are kind of weird because she just casts a spell. Then she starts, turns out THIS isn’t an apology video either!!! She’s just pulling receipts and making audience realize she doesn’t need to apologize and also forever destroying the career(s) of the accusing party by exposing them it’s crazy and the internet will forget it never

Ads: Disputed

Outro Music: Ends with a black screen and her usual, witchy outro music

Description: Do not meddle in things you can never comprehend.

Oh and a link to her website :3

Mr. Tiny:

Doesn’t make an apology video

lol these are it for now...lmk if you want smthn more specific?

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meltwonu · 5 years ago

Note

Prompts #19 #8 #2 together with dom!seungcheol i still miss him 🥺

2. “I’ve never wanted anyone to fuck me this badly.”

8. “Like what you see?”

19. “Take off your clothes.”

note; camgirl!reader, squirting, dirty talk u know it!! ahaaaaa altho this is for cheol, theres a bit of all the members in this i mean its a camshow kdjfhksjh also it took me 30 min to come up with usernames for everyone 😔also the format of this is long and i got too into this so the rest is under the cut! Thank you for requesting!! Enjoy!! 💕

PLAY MY DRABBLE GAME HERE | ASK | MASTERLIST

__________________________________________________

“Hmm, dom.cheol just wrote ‘Take off your clothes’, we’ll get to that soon! Just a few more donations and we can start the show!” The lace babydoll doesn’t do much to hide your figure from the camera but Seungcheol is impatient, his eyes flitting across his computer screen as he watches you.

kitty_junjun: aww, baby let us see you already!!

therealchan99: can I get a private show? :‘)

angelhan: if anyone’s getting a free show, wouldn’t it be dom.cheol?

Seungcheol smirks from behind his screen, licking his lips as he reads the comments on your stream. Your camgirl username was ‘cherry_clouds’ although that had nothing to do with your real name. You were his favorite camgirl and Seungcheol was a constant viewer; always active in the chat and always generous with his donations. He donated money, toys, and clothes whenever he could and you were extremely appreciative for him.

“dom.cheol getting a free show? Maybe… hehe, oh! We just hit the minimum for the show, guess we can start now!” You flash the cam a sweet smile, fingers playing with the lace of the sheer babydoll. “Like what you see? This cute little number was donated to me by dom.cheol! Thank you so much!”

dom.cheol: you’re welcome sweetheart, now why don’t you give us what we’re waiting for?

“Hmm, okay~ I think you’ve all waited long enough… and if I’m being honest… there was another gift in the package dom.cheol sent…” You push your keyboard away from you on the bed as you lean back, spreading your legs so that the camera can get a clear shot of your wet panties. “These vibrating panties were on this whole time since I started, I’m so wet and so sensitive, I could cum already~” Your voice is airy, sweet sighs escaping you as you reach for the remote tucked under a nearby pillow.

universe_WZ: fuck, look at that. You’re already soaking

alphagyu97: please tell me you’re selling those panties afterwards??

dom.cheol: turn up the vibration level baby, I know you can take it.

You obey, setting it to the highest level before you cry out, grinding down into the bed sheets underneath you.

dom.cheol: cum for me.

Seungcheol watches you come apart, legs snapping shut as you cum from the intense vibrations. The sound of coins clinking sounds off in the background as you catch your breath, sliding the soaked fabric down your legs. You take your time with removing your lace babydoll, giving your viewers a show as you toss it off to the side. Seungcheol palms himself through his sweats as he leans back in his computer chair, eyes fixated on your body.

“I have two~ more toys to play with… ‘m really sorry guys, I have a short show tonight! I have some business to take care of afterwards, hope that’s okay?” You pout at your camera, fingers twirling around a lock of hair.

artist8hao: don’t worry about it, doll! We’re happy to see you any chance we get!

tangerine_kwan: agreed! Don’t apologize!!!

chwenon: wait i’m with alphagyu97 are you selling those panties???

hoshi_tiger_xx: actually yea, thirded? Are u sellin those?

Seungcheol can’t help but eye roll at the comments. Sometimes he wishes it was really just you and him, but he also knew there were boundaries. You never offered private shows and you never sold any of your used panties, as much as your viewers seemed to want them. But he watches you pull out your favorite dildo and your hitachi, both also gifts from him, as you set them down in front of you.

“In my last show, I think it was sleepy_wonu who asked if I could, um, try squirting if I had the chance so I figured I would try since it’s a short show today! I wanna treat you all~”

sleepy_wonu: holy shit she just menbtioned me skjkh move over dom.cheol!!!

xcaliburDK: yikes don’t get too cocky there buckaroo

gentleman_josh95: wait did u say squirt

“Yes! I wanna try it tonight… Think I can? My body is already sensitive from cumming once~”

Seungcheol slides a hand past the band of his sweats and underwear, wrapping his fingers around his hard cock. He shimmies the fabric down, freeing his cock from its confines as he pumps himself. Reaching over, he uses his free hand to type a quick reply.

dom.cheol: lets see that pretty little pussy get wet, baby.

Giggling, you grab a bottle of lube off camera, plopping back down onto your bed. “Ok~ let’s get started~!”

universe_WZ has donated $100

angelhan has donated $50

dom.cheol has donated $450

“Thank you~ Hmm, ah, I’m still so wet… do you think I can take two fingers already?”

alphagyu97: yes god yes yes

kitty_junjun: bet you could take 3 with how wet u r ;)

Pouring a little bit of lube on your fingertips, you start with one finger, pumping the digit until you realize it’s not enough, quickly adding another finger into your tight hole. “A-ah, mmh, feels so good, I want more~” You whine, grinding into your own palm as you reach for the dildo. You continue to finger yourself, adding a third digit as you pop the lid on the lube, squirting some onto the dildo as you warm it up with your free hand.

“I really can’t wait anymore, I wanna be fucked so badly~”

Seungcheol pumps his cock, precum leaking from the tip as he watches you remove your fingers and instead position yourself over the dildo. You sink down onto it, eyes rolling to the back of your head as the dildo bottoms out inside of you. You start to bounce on it, fucking yourself onto it as Seungcheol tries to stave off from cumming too soon.

“A-ah, d’you wanna k-know, hah, a secret?”

therealchan99: oh god yes

xcaliburDK: yessssssss

“Mmh, sometimes wh–when I’m fuckin’ myself on this dildo, I imagine it’s dom.cheol’s cock filling me up. It’s so big, but I bet he’s so much bigger~ He could probably make me cum just from sitting on his cock~ Ah, and then he’d probably fill me up with his cum and I’d be so full of it~ I’d make him watch all the cum spill down my legs and then let him scoop it up and fuck it back into me~ Mmh, I’ve never wanted someone to fuck me this badly~”

sleepy_wonu: b r u h

hoshi_tiger_xx: yoooooooo

chwenon: imma pretend u said my name instead

If Seungcheol wasn’t already heated before, he could feel his blood turn into lava as he fucks up into his hand; your words spurring him on. He can feel himself getting closer and closer to his orgasm as you continue to fuck yourself on the dildo, a free hand reaching for the hitachi next to you.

dom.cheol has donated $600

dom.cheol: fuck, sweetheart, let’s see it, fuckin wet this cock for me like a good girl

You turn on your hitachi, settling it to the highest setting before placing it against your clit. You let out a small scream, opting to grind down onto the dildo instead as you cum hard. The sound of rapid fire donations hits your ears but you don’t let up, keeping the hitachi against your clit as you maneuver yourself onto your back, giving the camera a clear shot of your filled pussy. Your legs threaten to clamp shut but you fight the urge, using a hand to pump the dildo in and out as your other hand presses the hitachi harder into your clit.

“I’m gon–gonna cum again fuck, fuck..!!”

Seungcheol jerks his cock faster, wanting to cum at the same time as you. He moves his hands in time with you fucking the dildo into yourself as he cums, biting his lip hard to hold in his noises. On screen, you cum right after he does, back arching off the bed as the dildo is forced out of you, clear liquid spraying and wetting the bed sheets underneath you. Your grip on the hitachi loosens but you keep it to your clit until the overstimulation starts to bite, small whines and cries leaving you as you turn it off and catch your breath.

tangerine_kwan: i think i have died

artist8hao: i…please tell me we can pay for this content to be reuploaded

gentleman_josh95: seconded, please god that was so hot

You lay there for a moment, letting the sound of donations keep going for a minute or two before you attempt to sit up. Seungcheol, alone in his room, sits with his hand still firmly around his cock, streaks of cum already drying on his shirt.

“Mmm, I’m so sleepy you guys~ That really wiped me out… How did I do? I’m soaked now~”

universe_WZ: i would d word for u

artist8hao: i literally came when you did and I’m already ready for a second round

chwenon: me too, fuck

dom.cheol: I think you killed me, sweetheart.

You let out a tired giggle, slumping forward into the camera. “Aww, ‘m sorry~ I Just wanted to show my appreciation~ And again I’m sorry that I had to have such a short show! I wanted to make it worth it, y’kno?” You read a few more comments, thanking your viewers for supporting your show as always.

“Okay~ I think I gotta go now everyone! I gotta go clean up! Thank you again for watching! Love ya!”

Seungcheol watches as you blow a kiss to the camera, waving once more before the stream cuts off. He sighs out of tiredness, sending one last donation of $500 before he exits your page for the night. Checking his account, he notices a tiny ‘1’ over the messages logo, brow quirking in curiosity. He clicks on it, heart racing when he sees the singular ‘cherry_clouds would like to send you a message!’ in his inbox.

Seungcheol feels the air leave his lungs as he reads your message, quickly pulling up a reply window as his eyes flit over the message for the 3rd time.

“Hi dom.cheol!

I just wanted to thank you for your constant support for me~ I’d be nowhere without you~! I’ve been thinking it over and I know I don’t really do private shows or anything… but I would really be interested in doing one for you, free of charge for my biggest supporter! If you’re interested, I’d love to hear back from you! I’m free right now actually, maybe we can even cam and get to know each other better? ;) Hope to hear from you soon! xx cherry_clouds”

#seungcheol smut #scoups smut #seventeen smut #svt smut #svt scenarios #svt imagines #seventeen imagines #scoups imagines #scoups scenarios #scoups #seungcheol #cherrybomb!cheol

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rudystree · 3 years ago

Note

to my numero uno jj expert 💚: doesn't jj owe money to barry? and restitution money? where does he live now? his clothes look less dirty and new? why is luke in jail? how did he react when he learned about the phantom? how did jj gain such a significant amount of weight in s2? who takes care of this boy?

“jj expert” 😅 don’t make me blush ajdhsjsh

my friend you have struck a delicate nerve because I HAVE ALL THE SAME QUESTIONS. my no. 1 irritation from season 2 is that none of this was addressed at all. like i understand you can’t spotlight every character and that i’m very biased since he’s my fave, but many people noticed that his story was just written off and that’s so frustrating

i don’t have answers but i have thoughts:

doesn’t jj owe money to barry: yeah he definitely still owes the 25k...rip. i think barry still doesn’t know that it was jj in particular, just the pogues in general who stole it, so i assume that’s why he was ready to show up to the chateau fully armed and kill them. after that night i think he was too busy dealing with his psycho boyfriend to think about it

what about restitution: yeah... i got no idea. like what about the court hearing they mentioned? especially because of all the shit the pogues did to help john b escape and the fact that jj was already on probation from the other felonies he committed, you’d think he’d be in way more trouble. the only time it was briefly mentioned was by luke who said “i got your restitution hanging over me” ... so maybe it’s just luke who’s responsible? maybe why he’s in jail? again, very weird that it’s not addressed

where does he live now: clearly not with luke anymore thank god. jj kinda threw me off in episode 6 when he said he has nowhere to live because in my head the chateau would be his home. maybe it was just rudy improv tho. the chateau is where we see him in episode 1 while he’s grieving (which also wasn’t explored much) so he must’ve stayed there for the time, but it would make me sad to think he doesn’t view it as his own home. i must’ve read too many fics. and i would’ve loved it if he went to live with pope :( i used to be so excited for that possibility. because seriously, did jj just go off on his own after that season 1 finale? who tf let him? ugh

his clothes look nicer: ok yeah who gave him his nice fall jacket? that nice pair of jeans? jj in jeans!! i get it’s a show and you can’t think about this stuff too deeply but i do wanna know everything about this boy haha, like his nice clean t-shirts, are they all from random jobs he’s done? they tend to have some sort of kildare logo on it. maybe he bought them himself or stole them or i even read a fic once where the school would donate clothes to poor kids like him. my favorite headcanon is that they were a gift so that’s what i usually go with. i like imagining that the pogues get each other little presents for birthdays, christmas, etc. ... one thing i really missed this season was the cutoff tank tops tho

why is luke in jail: honestly wtf how can they not explain that?! also did jj know? because clearly he seemed very surprised seeing him there. where was child services? if the mom is gone and the dad in jail, don’t you try to contact the literal child? i am so confused. idk much about american law, could it be the unpaid restitution money? i feel like that’s not enough to get locked up for. maybe they caught him with drugs or he did something else, but it really bugs me that we don’t know and probably never will

how did luke react to the phantom: same thing, i can’t believe they didn’t show that! it was a big deal! when he jumped jj at the chateau he briefly mentioned that he can’t use the phantom since jj basically sunk it, but wouldn’t he be a little more angry about that? i’m sure he was ~not happy~ but the writers really gave us nothing to further go off on. we don’t even know if luke had any contact with jj after it all happened

jj’s size: ooooof rudy got so buff for season 2 and it’s making me feel all sorts of tingly things hehe. he just gets hotter every day. i didn’t even really notice at first until i saw all these comments under the clips netflix posted

but yeah he seems to have put on some weight and his muscles are popping and his shoulders are so broad and i would respectfully like him to crush me. does it make any actual sense for jj to not be frail and famished as a poor and neglected 16 year old with alcohol problems? not really. but uh, i did not complain

who tf takes care of him: going off of that- another GREAT QUESTION 😩 again i was really hoping for some jj x heyward family interaction but the writers hate me. and again, where tf is child services now? and how did they just completely stop trying to get john b when he was released from jail? i guess that’s a whole other question. i like to think that jj was living by himself at the chateau and that pope and kie would regularly check on him and bring him clothes and food and stuff. they acted a bit like his parents in the beginning haha and i like that dynamic. and they drove him to school in kie’s car. i just want someone to baby this precious boy and treat him well is that too much to ask 😭

#this is uh.. probably more inconclusive and elaborate than you wanted anon #but can you tell i like talking about jj #❤️#jj maybank #ask

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sanakoreanlangblr · 4 years ago

Text

2021 Goals

Heyy! I’ve decided to put my goals for this year here, hoping that that might motivate me further, and maybe motivate someone else as well. Good luck everyone! And please take extra care of yourselves and your health, mental or otherwise! Everything else can wait.

This year has been difficult for all of us. As for me, even now, the upcoming semester is a big question mark. Currently I’m studying in France, and this semester I was supposed to go on an exchange to Taiwan buuuut that’s not happening anymore, as it has been cancelled. So per my school’s requirements I need to find an internship in the place of expatriation, which is a pain now. And that basically just means I have no idea where I’m going to be in the coming year or what I’m gonna be doing ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ Sorry, needed to complain for a bit, as I am going absolutely insane with the stress…

Anywayyyy, I still hope I will be able to uphold most of these goals, wherever I will end up. I tried to not make them overly big, so that I won’t get burned out too fast. But I have a whole year for those, some of these have dates for which I could expect to finish but I will not keep to them very strictly. Whatever happens, happens :))

Also, sorry if there are any mistakes, English is not my first language!

Korean (A2 -> B1)

1. Do 100 lessons of grammar from the HowToStudyKorean website.

I’ve started a few grammar books but in the end decided to settle on this website as I like its explanations best, and it provides the most example sentences when introducing each point. A nice touch is also the fact that it includes a list of a number of new words before each chapter, which gives me some new vocabulary to learn :)

So far I’ve divided the grammar points introduced in lessons into „to learn”, „to revise”, „already know”, and turns out I have:

66 „to learn”

35 „to revise”

32 „already know”

So if I did 3 points a week, I should be done around August.

2. Read 2 little stories per week from “Easy Korean Reading for Beginners”.

There is 30 stories in the first one (I already did 5), so I should be done by the middle of April.

3. Do one chapter per week from “My first hanja guide”.

I just got this book for Christmas and haven’t had the time to fully go through it so we will see how it goes.

4. Do Anki at least three times a week.

Every day would be preferable but I know that would last like a week at most.

5. Have iTalki lesson at least once a week.

That one is not a problem as I have been doing one or two per week for the last year, but I would just like to keep it up.

6. Try writing at least twice a month, and at least 2 pages.

Yeahhh that one is a bit of a bother, as writing still takes me a long time so we will leave it a twice a month and see how it goes.

7. Watch one youtube video per week on Korean grammar or vocabulary.

Generally I would say my goal is to use Korean more, as I know quite a lot but when I’m speaking I tend to go towards the easier words and grammar, which is why I am thinking that writing more could help me. And also I really want to focus on learning vocabulary as that’s always been a pain for me, I’m more of a grammar lover :))

French (A2 -> hoping for upper B1/ beginning of B2)

1. Finish the intermediate grammar book. I’m currently doing „Grammaire Progressive du Français” Intermediate edition, for A2/B1.

The problem is that my grammar knowledge of french is a mess , so going through this book is a bit of an annoyance, as most chapters I technically know but each time I find some nuance I wasn’t aware of... therefore I need to go through it, even the chapters I would have assumed I know :|

So I divided the chapters the same way I did Korean, into „to learn”, „to revise”, „already know”, and I ended up with:

14 „to learn”

34 „to revise”

4 „already know”

So technically if I did 2 points a week, I should be done in June.

2. Read the two french books I got for Christmas (“Les aventures d’Alice au pays des merveilles” and “Le tour du monde en quatre-vingts jours”).

3. Read at least two of the Harry Potter books in French.

I have started the first one this week, and I can tell it’s gonna be a very very slow process. It’s the first book I’m reading in french so it’s a bit difficult and frustrating but hopefully it’ll get better as I go along.

4. Watch at least 4 french movies, with french subtitles.

5. Learn a french song.

6. Read one story per week from „French Stories for Beginners”.

These are quite easy, but they are a nice practice for switching to books later on.

I don’t know if I’m gonna keep this one in, depends on how much my reading of actual books will progress.

7. Get to point 5 on the Duolingo tree.

I use Duolingo mostly as a revision tool, so I’m not really going to focus on it much, but still want to keep it up.

8. Watch one YouTube video per week (on any topic).

9. Listen to two podcasts per month.

10. At least one iTalki lesson per week.

11. Do Anki at least 3 times a week.

I really need to listen to french more, as I’m good at reading and I usually understand that pretty well, and I’m not the worst as speaking, but I am absolutely terrible at listening :| So that’s a priority.

Chinese (tbh I don’t know...end of HSK1/Beginning of HSK2 -> let’s say the goal is HSK3 for this year)

1. Finish the book „Integrated Chinese”

I’m having a tough time to pick a book from which to learn but I guess for now I’ll continue with that one.

Again, I divided the points in the book to „to learn”, „to revise”, „already know”, and ended up with:

47 „to learn”

11 „to revise”

15 „already know”

So doing 2 a week I should be done in July.

2. Learn 15 characters a day

I am way behind on learning characters.. I remember the words well but I didn’t put enough time to learn the characters at the start and now that’s gonna be a bit annoying to catch up on :|

3. Finish the drama „Go Ahead”.

4. Watch 3 Chinese movies, with both English and Chinese subtitles.

5. Have one Italki lesson per week.

6. Learn a children song in Chinese

7. Watch one youtube video per week on grammar.

8. Do Anki twice a week.

Generally focus more on characters. My speaking isn’t terrible (well besides the tones), but I need to work on the grammar a bit more as I seem to mess up the structures quite frequently. I need to put more work outside of my lessons. Since I found out I’m actually not going to Taiwan this semester my motivation has fallen a bit, but on the other hand I now have more time to prepare for fall, at which point I will hopefully be able to go!

Personal

Read 20 books.

I have always loved reading but in the past two years the amount of books I’ve read has gone down, which upsets me a bit… On the other hand the amount of fanfiction I’ve read is tremendous, so there’s that. However I would like to make more effort to read this year, especially since I’ve accumulated a huge pile of books over those few years.

2. Workout regularly.

Right now I’m at home, so that should be easy to do. I don’t really know what’s gonna happen this semester, so we’ll see what I’m going to do about that later.

3. Eat better.

Meaning: cut down on sugar, eat more veggies and fruit.

4. Get a bit closer to my ideal weight

I’m not necessarily focusing on that this year as the previous one has been hell and really managed to deteriorate my mental health back to high school levels... but still hopefully working out a bit and eating less sugar, more veggies, I will be able to lose a tiny bit of weight. But overall I just want to focus on being a bit healthier.

5. Clean out my wardrobe

Sorry that’s a silly one but I’ve been getting to it for half a year now and I’m just too lazy to do that... maybe once I put it here I will have some motivation

6. Take care of my face and hair

So my sensitive skin hates wearing masks and needs extra care these days I need to really focus on it and baby it, to not go back to the awful red mess it was two months ago

As for my hair, I have kind of 3a curls which I haven’t been taking care of properly and plus I damaged them with hair dye (still I refuse to give up ginger hair, I blame Merida). So now during lockdown and quarantine season I finally had some time to read up on hair care of curls, and honestly after a month I can already see the difference, and well I hope for the best :)))

7. Get a tattoo

It’s something I’ve always put off since I either didn’t have the money or time. And now again both are problematic, so I will wait for the decision until I know what my school semester is going to be like. Maybe this time I will find a good moment! (Although honestly saving up for travelling after all this is over is also a great idea :))) )

8. Don’t go to sleep at 5

Yeah so during lockdown and because of online classes my sleeping schedule got so messed up I don’t even know what to do about it anymore. And while my goal isn’t to switch it to 10 pm, cutting it to 2 am at max would be nice

9. Watch 25 movies

10. Sell/donate the things that I don’t need

I’ve accumulated a huge pile of books, movies, CDs, Xbox games, art products - that I need to get rid of - and I’ve been saying that for like three years now, about the same pile of things. I will try to do that one this year!

I hope everyone’s 2021 will be a ton better than 2020! Keep fighting!

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