please-destroy

[please-destroy]

Work And Progress

Natasha Romanoff x Reader

words. 1.7k

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Natasha’s smile was full-watted. She was sprawled on the sofa at an almost acrobatic angle. You sat across from her, trying not to pay too much attention. The other Avengers were chatting around you. 

It was a rare evening when most of the team were free. Natasha had never looked so settled. You were still pretty new to the team, this was the first you’d hung out with them socially. 

You sat together in the communal living area of the Avengers Tower. You hadn’t expected the buzzing energy. Everyone, except Natasha, had grown louder as the evening went on.

In the last few months, you’d watched Natasha in the gym, silent and skilled as she completed each task with absolute focus. You’d assumed quickly that she preferred her own company to the loud team spirit that the others brought to training.

You watched her now. Natasha’s shoulder was pressed comfortably against Tony’s as she began to relax. Clint shot her occasional grins from across the coffee table. Steve brought her another beer whenever she ran out.

During team briefings, when she did contribute, Natasha was often the most direct. Cool, calculated and decisive whenever she spoke. You’d found yourself quite intimidated and from the silent respect of the other Avengers, you’d assumed they felt the same. 

Pepper squeezed Natasha’s shoulder in greeting as she joined the gathering. Natasha’s hand brushed over Pepper’s in silent affection. 

Then, Natasha’s gaze lifted to meet yours. You felt her attention like a jolt to your insides. You gave her an uncertain smile. Tony called her name and she turned away. Your heart continued to thunder in your chest.

The impromptu hangout didn’t end until late. It was almost midnight when you left to go back to your room. You were waiting for the elevator to arrive when you heard someone hurrying behind you. You turned to see Natasha’s easy smile just as the elevator dinged.

You stepped in together. Natasha’s maroon hoodie had slipped off her shoulder, exposing the strap of her tank top. You tried not to stare. 

‘Did you have a good night?’ Natasha asked.

You nodded effusively and Natasha’s mouth stretched into another pleased smile. 

‘Good. I’m glad.’

‘Thank you. For being so welcoming. You all seem like a big family.’ 

You noticed Natasha’s slight hesitation, the momentary freeze in her smile. 

‘I don’t know about that.’ She teased with sudden lightness. 

The elevator doors opened and you watched her walk away. When the doors closed, you knew her less than before.

—--

After that evening you found it easier to be friendly with all the Avengers, especially Natasha. 

You were assigned your first mission a few weeks later. Natasha was sitting alone in the briefing room that you were called to. You were already nervous, suspecting what the meeting might be about.

Natasha slid a tablet with key mission intel over to you.

‘Shit.’ You breathed quietly. 

Natasha smirked. ‘This is going to be fun.’ She promised.

The mission was supposed to be relatively simple. An abandoned criminal base had been located. The criminal ring that had used the compound had moved on, but there was reason to believe that some important information had been left behind.

Your job on the mission was simply to facilitate the Black Widow doing hers.

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The mission fell apart almost immediately.

Intel had determined that there were three guards remaining at the edge of the deserted compound. 

You incapacitated one as Natasha dealt with the others. After a heart pounding minute, Natasha stood over two slumped bodies. She shot you a grin before leading you inside. 

The first warning sign was the signal jamming on your earpieces. The second was the unlocked door to the main building. 

Natasha turned to you, eyes wide with sudden panic. You both dropped to the ground as bullets rained overhead. 

The rest happened in a blur of pure adrenaline. You crawled together to a vantage point and you followed Natasha’s lead in returning fire. Her aim was near perfect, yours was better than nothing. Seven men dropped ahead of you. 

Natasha beckoned you on. Her face was still but her eyes danced with anticipation. She kicked the door down to a room filled with computers. The criminal organization had been known for their own intelligence gathering, but you hadn’t realized the scale of the operation. 

Natasha hovered over the first keyboard she found, typing rapidly. You maintained a careful watch over all the exits. Some time since the initial shock, your heartbeat had become steady again. Your eyes darted rhythmically around the room. 

Natasha straightened up at last. She blocked your visual to the backdoor.

‘Got it.’ She told you, holding up a flash drive. Her smile was victorious. 

You heard the gunshot as you watched her fall. 

You shot the last guard on the base, a moment too late. 

You dropped to the floor. You could barely hear through your own panic. You watched the unadulterated pain on Natasha’s face for a brief moment. Then you watched her smooth it away. She looked at you.

‘I’m going to be okay.’ She told you with certainty that you clung to. ‘But you need to get me out of here.’

You nodded, throat too dry to speak, and helped her to her feet. You slipped her arm over your shoulders. Natasha leaned her uninjured side heavily against you. You led her carefully out of the building. 

As soon as you’d cleared the boundaries of the site, your comms reengaged. You relayed the need for urgent medical assistance and heard a flurry of action in the background.

Natasha’s breathing was shallow as you continued to walk slowly towards the pick up location.

‘It’s gonna be okay.’ You promised her, wishing your voice wouldn’t shake. 

Natasha laughed under her breath. The sound made you uneasy.

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You reached the pick up location, but there was no-one in sight. You tried to hide your panic. Natasha moved to the ground, unable to keep standing. You sat beside her and she leaned her head against you. You watched in silent worry as she breathed through the constant pain.

Your stomach lurched when her eyes closed. You watched the tears slip down her cheeks. 

‘It’s okay.’ You mumbled again and again, feeling useless. Her hand gripped yours and you squeezed it back.

A few more minutes that felt like hours and the medic team arrived. You stood in the corner of a nondescript ambulance van and let your own tears fall.

Natasha sat on the bed in the center, her expression was stony as she stared at nothing, letting the medics work.

After a while, her eyes flickered to yours. You could see the truth in them. She looked miserable. You walked over without thinking. You held her hand, squeezing it gently. Natasha sighed and let her eyes close again.

When you arrived back at the Avengers Tower, there was a rush of activity. Natasha needed a surgery to remove shrapnel. You held her hand as long as you could.

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You sat in the small waiting room outside the med-bay and tried not to tear your hair out. You caught the half-hidden cameras twitching along with you as you started to pace the room. 

The others had been scheduled to a different mission on the other side of the world, leaving you feeling painfully alone. You were sure they were getting regular updates. You worried that they would blame you. You kept going over the mission in your head, wishing for a different outcome. 

A doctor spoke to you when the surgery was over. It had gone well and Natasha was currently sleeping off the strong sedatives. The doctor mentioned that Natasha’s emergency contacts were away on the other mission.

‘I’ll do.’ You croaked without thinking. 

‘You want to see her?’ The doctor asked and you nodded desperately.

You were led to a small hospital room. Natasha looked as if she was sleeping. Her red hair spilled across the thin white pillow. You sat in the small chair beside the bed and watched her breath in and out.

Half an hour later and Natasha began to blink sleepily.

‘Fuck.’ She coughed hoarsely and you lit up with relief.

‘Thank God.’ 

Natasha’s eyes darted over to you and shock registered on her tired face.

‘You stayed.’ She murmured.

You smiled widely, letting your relief show as you reached again for her hand.

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When the rest of the Avengers returned, you waited for your friendship with Natasha to slip back to what it once was. 

It never did. When she was released from the med-bay. Natasha was told to ask someone to help her back to her room. She asked for you.

You couldn't help smiling when you saw her sitting on the edge of her hospital bed, more than ready to go.

When you finally made it to her door, Natasha gave you a small, unsure smile. 

‘Do you wanna hang out for a bit?’

You nodded eagerly and Natasha’s shoulders relaxed.

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(A month later)

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Natasha’s smile was soft. She was sprawled next to you on her bed with a laptop between you. The tinny sound of her favorite Bond movie played from the speakers. You both ate your popcorn absentmindedly. 

Natasha laughed suddenly, a half second before Bond had finished telling his joke. Half hypnotized, you watched her with an easy smile.

Natasha’s attention flickered over to you. 

‘Don’t look at me like that.’ She complained, flicking a piece of popcorn at you.

‘Like what?’ 

‘Like you can see into my soul.’ Natasha’s cheeks flushed and you wondered if her answer had been too honest for her liking.

‘What’s so wrong with that?’ You asked with a grin. 

There was a pause as Natasha’s expression turned serious. You felt your heart stutter when she paused the laptop.

‘What if I’m not ready for you to see it?’ Natasha stared self consciously down at the bedsheets. 

‘Natasha.’ You paused, trying to find the right words. ‘I can see your soul every time you smile.’ 

Natasha’s gaze lifted to meet yours. She studied your stare like she didn’t know how to believe you. 

You opened your mouth, ready to speak again. 

Natasha touched your jaw and you were shocked into silence. Softly, she pulled your face toward her as she leaned in. 

Her warm lips brushed yours, salty from the popcorn.

After a moment, she broke away. Her shallow breath touched your skin and you knew she was nervous.

‘Still like what you see?’ Natasha asked. Her eyes were worried, her smile was small.

You smiled back, reaching for her hand beside you.

‘Yes.’

[please-destroy]

Family Matters

Wanda Maximoff x Reader

words: 4.5K

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You were looking for her. Your whole life and you never realized. 

She found you and the rest of the Avengers when you least expected it, a flit of red magic and a wake of devastation. Wanda Maximoff made her impression like the moon makes waves. 

Just like waves, there was an ebb and flow. When her brother died, you watched something die inside Wanda too. Her eyes were dulled as she arrived at her new American home. 

Soon enough she settled in with the Avengers, but it wasn’t thanks to you. Even then, you were too focused on trying to keep your own work-life balance. 

“The normal Avenger.” Tony had labeled you with his dry affection. You liked the nickname, it was what you were aiming for. You bought a house less than a thirty minute drive from the Compound and you did your best to go home by 6 every evening. You went on blind dates, made friends who thought you were an electrical engineer. You ordered too much Chinese food and brought the reheats in for lunch. 

Natasha loved your slice of normality more than the others. She wove herself into your life, becoming the famous elusive friend you were always asked about. She was also the friend who visited at midnight with a DVD in hand when she couldn’t sleep. 

The others didn’t understand your choices, but you could tell they felt weighted by their own. They talked of responsibility and guilt like the world was on their shoulders. The Avengers were their life but for you it was only your job.

Your interactions with Wanda were limited by these circumstances. She participated in training exercises but rarely in missions. You had no exceptional powers, only hard work and the aid of some high tech weaponry. You were wary of Wanda, whose powers seemed at the whim of her focus. 

You watched some of the others grow closer with her. Steve and Clint watched her with a paternal air. Natasha hovered like an older sister. Vision observed with obvious longing. You were not part of Wanda’s world, and she was not part of yours.

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You didn’t expect her to come into your orbit.

It was the end of one of your longer work days. Your usual heavy bag was slung across your shoulders. You were carrying a cardboard box, filled with background reading for your next mission. You knew there were heavy textbooks inside, explaining the science behind some new technology. You tried not to grimace at the weight of it all, your muscles aching from a training session that morning. 

‘Do you need any help?’ Wanda asked from behind you. You startled obviously, you’d thought you were alone. You turned to her, still a little unsure of the woman who had power beyond your comprehension. Wanda’s face was impassive.

‘If you don’t mind.’ You said nervously. 

Wanda’s fingers twitched loosely. The cardboard box floated aloft. She didn’t speak to you as you walked together out to your car. For the first time since you’d met her, you watched her without prejudice. Her face was young, her expression was determined. Her hair flickered like hot embers under the parking lot lights. 

She waited as you unlocked your car, before floating the box into the backseat.

Wanda was already walking away when you called out ‘Thank you.’ She looked back, and for a split second you caught the surprise on her face. Then, she gave you a small smile

She raised her hand and you did the same, giving her a small wave. Wanda’s head tilted with amusement. Like before, instead of waving, she flicked her wrist and the car door opened next to you.

You laughed and Wanda smiled harder. 

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You still weren’t close to her. There wasn’t the same easy rhythm between you, not like there was with the others. Deep inside, if you’d been honest with yourself, you knew why. 

Her smile lingered in your mind for a long time.

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You watched Wanda and Vision grow closer during training. Their developing interest in each other was clear. Tony assured you that it was more disgustingly obvious after work hours. 

One Tuesday night, Natasha invited you out to a bar with the others. You did a headcount as you showed up, surprised to see that two were missing. 

Clint caught your quick math and gave you a knowing look as he handed you a beer. 

‘We had to get away from the lovebirds.’ He whispered loudly in your ear.

A feeling flared inside your chest. It wasn’t quite jealousy, but it could have been.

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Despite her progress with the team and training, Wanda still hadn’t gone on a real mission. It seemed to be mutually agreed upon that she wasn’t ready. You wondered internally, when that might change. There seemed to be no rush. 

You took a vacation in the middle of June. A week lying on a beach without any disturbances or alien calamities. The team had agreed to only call you if it was an emergency. You couldn’t believe your luck that they hadn’t had to. 

You drove to work on Monday morning with a spring in your step. That was until Friday told you that there’d still been plenty of action whilst you were away. She told you that all of the team members had been called away on various missions. All except one. 

You asked if Wanda was ready for training, but Friday told you that she was still in her room. She told you that Wanda hadn’t left her room since her temperature spike the night before.

You rarely had a reason to visit the Avenger’s personal quarters at the compound but you didn’t hesitate today. You knocked on Wanda’s door worriedly. All you heard in response was a muffled noise. 

You entered the room cautiously and your stomach swooped with immediate sympathy. Wanda’s face was pale, her sheets were tangled messily, her pajama top was sticking to her skin. 

‘Hey.’ You murmured, not sure what to say.

Wanda looked at you miserably, her breathing labored from the obvious head cold. 

You felt yourself kick into action, trying to focus on the tasks at hand to settle the concern you felt inside for her. You picked up Wanda’s empty water glass and left to refill it. You returned, armed with more boxes of kleenex. 

You didn’t speak. The silence between you felt familiar.

You helped Wanda sit up, moving the pillows behind her back. Her skin was too warm when it brushed yours. You did your best to straighten her sheets. Wanda kept coughing, covering her mouth embarrassedly. 

You waited as she reached for her water, taking a long drink from the glass. She looked at you, and hesitated. You knew she was going to say thank you. You didn’t want to hear it, you didn’t know why.

Instead, you reached instinctively forward, gently brushing the hair from Wanda’s face.

‘Let me make you some soup.’ 

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You didn’t tell anyone about that day. Sitting with Wanda in her room. You’d only watched TV together, kept her hydrated, and tried your best to be good company. Still, it felt special to you.

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Sitting on the quinjet, ready for her first real mission, Wanda gave you a small smile. It hid the nerves that the others weren’t supposed to see. You wondered if she ever thought about the day in her room too.

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When the team started to fall apart, you were the last to realize. You’d been sitting in your house, sifting through the lengthy Sokovia accords and taking notes on the pros and cons. 

Your friends and colleagues had taken a less academic response to their disagreement.

You visited the Compound unsurely, to find only Wanda and Vision still in residence. You found Wanda in her room again. You hovered nervously by the open door, Wanda was lying on her bed, watching the news coverage with her head propped on her hand.

She smiled when she saw you, but it didn’t reach her eyes. 

‘You need a prison break?’ You asked lightly, heart full of worry. 

Wanda’s eyes turned to the television, where reporters were following up on the destruction in Lagos.

She smiled drily and lifted her hand. A red mist covered her fingertips.

‘Maybe I’m safer inside.’ She answered. 

Her voice was teasing and you let it go.

When everything went down. When Wanda found herself in a real prison. Her words kept you up at night.

When you heard about the fight in Germany, you knew that the job you’d loved was over. You visited Colonel Rhodes in the hospital. You met with Tony, a man almost unrecognizable. 

You spent sleepless thinking about the others locked in a prison ship. 

You heard about the break out. It relieved you. The others had been more than colleagues, they had been family to each other. You were glad they weren’t alone. Tony told you Vision had gone officially AWOL and you hoped Wanda had found some happiness.

You quit the Avengers formally then, not that it mattered. You got on with your life. You took a new job writing children’s books about superheroes. Your girlfriend moved in with you, then back out a few months later when it stopped working. You made sure to love it all, even the failures. 

You had always been chasing a normal life and now you’d arrived at one.

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Nobody called you when half the universe disappeared. It would have taken time to track you down, and there hadn’t been any time. 

When you heard the news, it was already too late. You went straight to the Compound, an emergency response kicking in. You could already feel the ghosts in the corridors. 

You ended up living there for the next five years.

You rejoined the Avengers, not because you wanted back on the team, but because it wasn’t a team anymore. It was just the survivors trying to hold things together. 

Tony tapped out quickly, starved in space and undeniably traumatized. Pepper sent you updates sometimes as she carved out a life of normality for the pair of them. 

Natasha was not well either. Loss haunted the edges of her eyes. You watched her cope in the day, then pace the corridors at night. Clint’s family had been snapped and then he had disappeared too. 

She told you, when you hauled her into the living room with an enforced movie night, that she was grieving her younger sister too. You shared your pain and she shared hers. For five years you were each other’s crutch.

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Natasha was strong enough to help bring half the universe back. She was also strong enough to sacrifice herself in the process. 

Grieving her was when you finally felt like you’d been through too much. The job you’d fought so hard to keep a healthy balance with had destroyed your life completely.

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You met Wanda again at Tony’s funeral. Her eyes were dulled and you knew yours were too. You didn’t speak to her because even good things still felt painful. 

For Natasha’s sake, you tried to forgive Clint. You knew that all the pain you felt was not what she wanted you to have. You were sitting out by the lake when Wanda found you. Most people had already gone home by then. You didn’t want to go back inside. You weren’t ready for life to start again. 

Wanda’s hand touched your shoulder. It rested for a moment and you closed your eyes. 

‘I’m sorry.’ You said at last, turning to face her. You’d heard what had happened to Vision. You didn’t know how she was still standing.

Wanda tried to smile but it wouldn’t meet her eyes.

‘Can I drive you anywhere?’ She asked instead.

You shook your head. ‘Thank you. I brought my own car.’

She walked with you to the drive, silent company that you needed more than words.

Before you got into your car, you hesitated.

‘Do you have somewhere to go?’ You checked. Wanda nodded wordlessly. The flash of pain in her eyes unsettled you. It should have made you stay.

You drove back to your old life instead.

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You went back to the suburban world that you’d abandoned five years before. Your neighbors thought that you’d been snapped and you didn’t correct them. You tried to help the world in a more local way. You donated to food drives for the hungry returned population. You volunteered with every neighborhood effort, making new friends and reconnecting with old ones. 

You ignored most of Clint’s phone calls, hating that guilt made him call.

Once when you felt brave, you drove up to visit Pepper. She kept her head high even when dinner ended and you shared drinks on the sofa. She wasn’t closed off, but she wasn’t broken down either. You realized that she was built to keep moving, to survive as a family of two. 

You left the visit with renewed grief and renewed hope too. Healing imperfectly was okay. It no longer felt impossible.

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You heard about Westview and blamed yourself. You called Clint back for the first time. You’d been the last one to see Wanda and you should have known. You asked him if he thought Wanda had always been hiding the extent of her powers.

Clint was silent for a moment. He was careful when he spoke to you, your friendship would now always be rooted in guilt.

‘When I wanted my family back. I would have tried anything.’ He admitted at last. ‘I did everything I could. But Wanda can do a lot more.’

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You didn’t follow Wanda’s story closely after that. You heard that she was living on her own, taking some time to grieve. She seemed impossibly far away. 

As time passed, you thought vaguely that she might have been in contact with Clint. There weren’t many Avengers left that she was close to.

You heard the strange stories in the news but you didn’t put it all together. There were a lot of strange stories and it was hard to see patterns. You heard about the earthquakes and avalanches in Eastern Europe when Mount Wundagore collapsed. You even donated to the charities trying to recover endangered species in the area. Wanda didn’t cross your mind.

It felt like slow motion when you answered your phone. Clint told you hoarsely that Wanda had died in one of the avalanches. You forgot how to breathe.

Grief had been drowning you too long. Wanda’s life had been unfair and her suffering had been too much. You were so tired of people dying too young.

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A week later, your evening was interrupted by a knock at your door. 

When you opened it, your legs nearly buckled under you. 

Wanda’s face was drawn with exhaustion and her eyes were dulled.

All rational thought escaped you as overwhelming relief took over. You wrapped her in a tight hug. You felt her wince and drew back immediately in concern. You brushed the hair from her face gently.  

She was wearing a new outfit, something stronger and more intimidating than what you’d seen her in before. The material was ripped in places, exposing dark, painful looking bruising. 

You could tell that she was too tired to care. Wanda seemed dead on her feet. You weren’t sure how she’d traveled all the way from Eastern Europe and you didn’t ask. Instead, you offered her your spare room and left her to get the sleep she clearly needed.

You barely slept yourself that night, pacing your room as you mulled over Wanda’s unexpected arrival. You didn’t call anyone, not wanting to make her location known if she was trying to keep a low profile. You wondered if she’d faked her own death for safety reasons. You wondered if that was why she’d ended up here of all places.

The next morning, before the sun had risen, you made a brief run to the store. You picked out some comfortable clothes and supplies for your new guest. 

You left a pile of clothes and wash items outside her door. 

Then you milled listlessly around your own house, waiting for Wanda. Just before midday, she appeared at the top of your stairs. You cracked an automatic smile of relief when you saw her.

She looked different without her outfit from the day before. Her hair was tied in a messy bun. She was nearly drowned in the oversized hoodie you’d provided. It contrasted oddly with the tired shadows on her face. 

Wanda didn’t smile as she walked toward you. She seemed even more tired than the evening before.

You made her breakfast, trying to focus on the task instead of your unbridled worry. You fell into the old habits from your time with the Avengers. You started to give her a quick rundown of recent events that had made American news. 

‘I don’t care.’ Wanda said quietly and you held your tongue in surprise. Her voice was different, more gravelly and more dangerous than you remembered. You turned to look at her properly, risking the pancakes that you were cooking. Her eyes were closed in exhaustion and her jaw was tight. 

You brought the pancakes to the table and continued in the direction that had defined most of your life. Normality.

‘Do you want to stay for a few days?’ You asked simply, taking a bite.

Wanda’s eyes opened. She watched you for a moment. The uncertainty in her eyes made her look like the younger person you’d once known. You could tell that she knew you’d heard about Westview. 

‘Thank you.’ She said at last. 

You smiled, hating the tinge of shame in her expression.

 ‘You look like you need to rest.’ You told her honestly. 

Wanda closed her eyes again. The silence between you felt familiar. ‘I’m having trouble sleeping’ She told you softly.

‘You need TV.’ You advised, like a terrible medical professional. ‘You need to veg out and eat crap.’

Despite herself, Wanda’s eyebrow raised. You grinned, feeling like after all this time, you were really getting to know her.

‘Go on.’ You nodded to the living room. ‘I’ll clear this up.’

She did as you asked. You watched her walk away and a brand new feeling hurt your chest. You were glad she was here.

Wanda’s day passed exactly as you prescribed. She watched reality TV, curled up on your sofa. Her red hair escaped its hair-tie and lay messily across a cushion. You canceled on a friend who you’d planned to meet for dinner. 

You brought through candy and chips and slunk into the space next to Wanda on the sofa. She smiled at you and you smiled back. 

When dinner time arrived, you suggested pizza and pretended to grimace at Wanda’s topping choices. 

You picked out a movie, a light Rom-Com that had definitely been watched a thousand times. Wanda shifted to a more upright sitting position as you ate together in silence.

You were sure that just keeping her eyes glued to the screen was helping Wanda stay steady. She seemed anchored by it. The large hoodie had slipped over her shoulder, exposing a crisscross of dark bruising and barely healed scars. You offered her painkillers after you ate and Wanda accepted gratefully. 

Throughout the movie, Wanda began to shift, adjusting to a more comfortable position.

Before the movie ended, Wanda’s body was pressed against your side. The gesture ached with Natasha’s memory and you swallowed the bittersweet feeling.

You reached out, wrapping your arm around Wanda’s shoulder and holding her close. 

You thought Wanda might have fallen asleep. But as the credits rolled, she mumbled something about a sequel. You put it on obediently and tried to focus on the movie in front of you.

Just as it regained your attention, Wanda moved again. Her weight pressed more heavily into your side. You held your breath in surprise when you felt her head rest on your shoulder. You heard her slow and steady breaths. Her mussed hair brushed your skin.

You stayed as still as you could for the next two hours, trying your best to watch the movie. Your blinks became heavier.

When the credits rolled again, you stopped kidding yourself. You picked another movie at random and let your head sink back against the sofa. You fell asleep in front of the bright screen with Wanda’s steady breaths beside you.

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Wanda needed more sleep than you’d expected. When you woke, she had barely moved. Bright sunlight told you the whole night had passed. 

Your arm was numb and you slid it carefully out from behind her. You weren’t smooth enough. 

Wanda jerked awake suddenly. There was fear in her eyes but her fingers glowed red.

‘It’s okay.’ You croaked out, throat dry from sleep. ‘It’s just me.’ 

Wanda only looked more worried when she noticed you there. The red light died abruptly. 

‘It’s okay.’ You emphasized again, understanding her fright. 

Her worry dimmed to a low anxiety, but it didn’t calm further. She took a shaky breath. You felt a pit in your stomach at what she might have dreamed about.

You left, first to the bedroom to get changed and then to the bathroom, taking a moment to splash cold water on your face.

When you returned, Wanda had moved into the kitchen. She’d changed into new clothes that you‘d bought yesterday. This time a large, comfy gray sweater that suited her entirely. Her long hair fell down behind her shoulders. She was standing by your stove, a bowl of pancake batter on the counter beside her.

You gave her a grateful smile as you realized she was planning to cook for you. You turned on the stereo and sat in one of the kitchen chairs. Stray sunbeams warmed the room nicely. Music floated lightly in the air.

After a few minutes, Wanda put a plate down in front of you. 

She’d used pieces of fruit to make a face on the pancake, like you were a kid. 

You laughed loudly in surprise. ‘Thank you.’ 

Wanda’s reaction was strange. She looked flummoxed as she stared down at the pancake face, as if she’d only just seen it herself. 

She screwed up her own face like she’d done something wrong.

‘I didn’t mean to do that.’ She said quietly. A weird sense of foreboding came over you.

‘It’s okay.’ You tried to assure her. ‘It’s cute.’

Wanda’s eyes brimmed with silent pain as she sat down and began to eat her own pancakes. You did the same, alarmed at the sudden tension in the air. 

When it didn’t dissipate, you decided to ask. Personal questions felt like a boundary you hadn’t crossed before.

‘Did you have pancakes like that with your brother?’ You tried gently. 

Wanda hesitated and shook her head.

You looked down at the childish design. You couldn’t imagine it being a memory shared with Vision.

‘Who with?’ You asked simply at last. 

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Wanda told you the last pieces of Westview. She told you about the children that she’d created. Her story was long and her voice was stilted. She told you about trying to find them again after they’d been lost. She told you about multiverses. She sounded sick as she told you about the young girl she’d tried to kill.

Her story was awful. It unsettled you to hear what she was capable of, what she’d always been capable of. 

You reached across the table and held her hand. 

Wanda gave you a wry smile, tears slipping down her cheeks.

‘You’re not running away screaming.’ She noted, trying to keep her voice light as her eyes filled with misery.

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You sighed, as your mind flashed with memories of Natasha and Tony. 

‘We don’t run away from our family.’ You told her. ‘Because family isn’t easy to hold onto.’

Wanda started to cry then as if something was shattering inside her.

You moved to hug her. You wrapped her in your arms and felt Wanda hug you back tightly. 

.

It was a month until Wanda could breathe again without it hurting. There was never any talk of her leaving. The idea seemed absurd.

One morning, you greeted her with your usual smile in the kitchen. Yawning with a familiarity that had flourished in the last few weeks, Wanda gave you an unprompted hug. Your heart thumped erratically in your chest. 

‘Thank you.’ She mumbled into your shoulder before giving you a small smile.

You didn’t speak, you couldn’t think of any words that would say it right. A smile burned your cheeks. You watched Wanda smile harder.

.

The nightmares lasted half a year. You slept often in the same bed with an unspoken straightforwardness that had been started with that first night on the sofa.

Sometimes, you’d wake in the night when Wanda shifted in distress. You’d try to straighten the sheets, to brush her hair from her face. When it was really bad, you’d wake her gently and offer her some water. 

You’d kiss her forehead and feel love like an unstoppable force inside your chest.

. 

When Wanda asked you out to dinner, you knew that she was ready to make new memories. 

She left before dessert, when the couple at a table across from you got engaged. 

You found her in the middle of the street, shaking like a leaf. You wrapped her in a hug and she hugged you back. You suggested a late night trip to the movie theater, knowing that sleep might be hard to come by. 

You fell asleep on her shoulder in the opening ten minutes.

When you woke up, Wanda kissed you. Her lips were soft and her eyes were bright.

.

The happy moments felt like gold dust. Like magic wrought from pain. Hope from grief. It was better to heal imperfectly than not at all.

Wanda danced with you in the kitchen every morning. Her smile was shy like she was young again. It was warm like she’d loved you for years. 

Every night, you kissed Wanda deeply, your hands running through her hair. Her gentle hands brushed your skin.

.

One morning, Wanda asked about your plans for the day. 

You told her about the local charity you were helping to fundraise for. About the orphans that the blip had left behind. 

You watched Wanda’s expression change when you told her about the children who were looking for a family.

‘We’re a family.’ She said simply. 

You shared a hopeful smile as happiness ran through your veins. 

.

When you were an Avenger, you’d always insisted that your job was just a job. That life was what happened outside of it. 

You could see now that it had given you the happiest times of your life. 

It had given you the people that you loved the most.

You used to be an Avenger, but you were never normal. You were the luckiest person alive.

[please-destroy]

Chosen

College AU. Yelena Belova x Reader

words: 2.5k

.

Please forgive this. 

There are two sides to every story. You only have yours, and it is complicated. 

She scared you when you first met her. 

Moody and silent, Yelena Belova arrived on campus with a sharpness that kept everyone away from the first day. You were more than happy to leave her alone. She was beautiful but she felt out of your league, in every sense. You had heard the story about one of the more popular students approaching her on the first day. Yelena had told them bluntly that she wasn’t interested. That had been the start of Yelena’s reputation as someone who wanted to be left alone.

You still watched her of course. Everyone held a silent vigil when they shared a class with her. The whole class would arrive early, their eyes glued to the ready space for the mysterious girl who always sat in the front row. 

Yelena would arrive, like clockwork, five minutes late. The professors never questioned it. You didn’t know if she’d given them a reason for her lateness. Or if they also cowered at her glare. Despite her attitude, you knew Yelena always got the best grades.

In the one class you shared, Yelena sat three rows in front of you. For every class, Yelena leaned back in her seat, arms folded, never taking notes. Her fingers tapped her arm, silently counting the seconds until her attendance was no longer required. Sometimes when you weren’t taking your own notes, you’d zone out and watch her fingers tapping instead. 

You usually tried your best in your classes. You didn’t have Yelena’s natural talent but with enough work, you kept your head above water. 

One day, during a class on your hardest subject, your professor said something about pairing up for a project. You didn’t have time to register the words. Your hand was cramping as you hurried to finish off your notes before you forgot what they were meant to say.

You only glanced up when you heard the rushing wave of whispers around you. You startled, seeing the eyes of the room on you. Then, someone pulled out the empty seat beside you and you realized that nobody was actually looking at you.

Yelena sat down beside you and you felt gooseflesh erupt along your arm as nerves shot through you.

Yelena looked at you expectantly and your mouth went dry.

"Do you want to work together?"

You nodded shyly, you could feel your cheeks warming uncontrollably.

There was a pregnant pause until the professor cleared her throat and the class’ attention returned to finding their own partners.

You tried to read back your last notes but the letters seemed garbled. After a moment, Yelena cleared her throat.

"What’s your name?" She asked. She didn’t sound as blunt as usual. You felt a shiver run down your back at the sound of her accent.

"Y/N."

Yelena nodded, before beginning to talk about her ideas for the project. She outlined every idea in a long, careful monologue.

Finally, Yelena paused and gave you the same expectant look as before. You swallowed dryly, you couldn’t think of anything to say. Yelena’s ideas were smarter than anything you could think of yourself.

"Sounds good." You said at last. Yelena gave you a small smile. Without her usual glare, you realized that her eyes had a softness to them. 

The professor continued with the next part of the lecture, explaining key concepts to include in your project.

As the professor spoke, Yelena slid back in her seat and crossed her arms. You watched her, hardly believing you were next to her. After a moment, Yelena noticed your attention.

"What?" She mouthed with a smirk playing on her lips.

You shook your head silently and felt mortified as you stared back down at your notes.

.

The next class for that subject happened two days later. 

You could tell that everyone had been talking about you behind your back since the last one. You kept getting strange looks on campus. 

That day, you were one of the first to arrive to class. Yelena was already there when you arrived. You nearly tripped over your own feet at the sight of her. When you made eye contact, you could tell from the laughter in her eyes that she’d noticed your clumsiness. 

Yelena beckoned you closer with one hand and you obeyed without thinking. 

"Do you want to sit with me?" She asked, her hidden smile making her voice warm.

"Okay." You mumbled and sat in the space next to her. The rest of the row was empty, and you knew that if the past classes were any clue, it would stay that way. 

Yelena shifted back in her seat to better face you. You gave her a weak smile and continued to unpack your things.

The professor arrived but Yelena didn’t turn around. Her hand rested on the back of her seat and her ponytail swayed as she rested her chin there. 

You felt self-conscious with her overt attention. You tried to think of something to say.

"Have you started working on your parts for the project?"

Yelena’s eyebrows raised slightly at your awkward question. "Of course. I don’t want you getting a bad grade."

You felt a flash of frustration and confusion at her teasing tone. Yelena always seemed to have the upper hand with everything. 

"Good." You retorted, trying to sound like you had a backbone.

Yelena gave a loud and unexpected laugh. The room went quiet as anyone not already looking at you began to watch curiously. 

Embarrassed at the room's whispers, you tried to focus on preparing your notes for today. You glanced at the projector screen in front of you and carefully copied the first screen of information down. You pretended that you didn’t care about everyone watching. You pretended not to see Yelena in the corner of your eye.

"You’re cute." Yelena murmured, turning at last to face the screen as the professor began to talk.

You thought about her words for the next hour. 

When the class ended, you were one of the first to get to your feet. Your mind was buzzing and so was your skin. Just being close to Yelena made you nervous.

Yelena caught your arm before you could walk away. Your breath caught at the sudden touch. 

"Shouldn’t we meet up this weekend for the project?" Yelena asked with another smile. 

"Right, yeah."

You exchanged details and agreed to meet at the library on Saturday morning. 

That night, you couldn’t sleep. You couldn’t stop thinking about Yelena. A horrible part of your mind wondered if this was some sort of prank, or joke that you couldn’t see coming. Her sudden interest in you made no sense. 

There were smarter people to be her project partner if she cared about the grade, and there were definitely more interesting people if she didn’t.

Not to mention that Yelena was beautiful and not in a subtle way. There was a reason that everyone paid attention to her and her usual standoffish mood.

You tossed and turned, unable to dream up any answer that made sense. 

.

Saturday came and you found yourself hurrying to the library. You’d spent too long choosing an outfit and now you were nearly late. 

Yelena was standing outside the library building. Her long blonde hair was falling in soft waves. Her yellow plaid coat was wrapped around her. She was staring at the ground. She looked as cold as you felt. 

She noticed you walking towards her and her face brightened immediately. She moved to wave at you and her coat opened. Your heart stammered at the sight of the white crop-top underneath.

It was nearly empty inside the library and you found two seats together easily. You realised a new fear as Yelena began to talk about the project. You didn’t know nearly enough about the subject to keep up with her. You opened your notes and tried to prepare yourself for the oncoming embarrassment.

You watched as Yelena’s finger brushed over the first concept that you’d written down. Softly, she checked if you understood it. You shook your head, feeling flushed.

Quietly Yelena ran through the concept, her explanation was clear and simple. You found pieces clicking together suddenly. 

"Thank you." You murmured once she’d finished. Yelena beamed. 

An hour passed before you knew it. Most of the time was Yelena explaining things to you, but she didn’t seem to mind. Actually, Yelena seemed to be having a great time. 

You’d never seen her smile like this before.

When Yelena came to a natural pause, you asked if you could buy her a coffee. Yelena looked surprised for a moment and then she nodded. 

She told you what she wanted and you walked over to the small coffee bar that was attached to the library building.

You passed two girls in the lobby. They were in one of your other classes, but you didn’t know them well. They converged on you as you waited in line. 

"Are you tutoring her?" The first one asked bluntly.

You shook your head in shock.

"Why is she talking to you then?" The other cut in.

You shrugged with embarrassment. You knew what she was implying. She didn’t have to spell out. You weren’t special and this didn’t make sense. 

You brought the two drinks back into the library. Yelena took her coffee gratefully. She took a deep breath.

"I love the smell." She told you happily as she took her first sip. 

You tried to smile back. But something was twisting inside you after speaking to the girls outside. You couldn't help the guarded tone you started using.

It didn’t take long for Yelena to read your new mood. Her face became impassive but her eyes burned with something you didn’t recognise.

She didn’t ask what had changed. Instead, she moved back to your notebook and began to discuss the next concept. You listened obediently, painfully aware that with every sentence Yelena sounded blunter and less friendly.

You bit your lip, torn between wanting to cry and total confusion. You didn’t know if Yelena was annoyed because some elaborate joke had gone wrong, or if you’d actually offended her. You didn’t have much time to think about it.

As soon as her coffee was drained, Yelena hurried through the last concept needed for the project. Her fingers tapped impatiently against her arm and you felt nauseous.

Together, you reached the last sentence of your notes. Immediately, Yelena slid her chair back, ready to leave.

You tried to call her name. Sudden shame rushed over you. Yelena was too fast.

"Thanks for the coffee." She mumbled as she left.

.

There were three sleepless nights until you saw her again. You spent most of Sunday feeling evil. You spent a lot of Monday trying to keep your spirits up.

As Tuesday arrived, you were nothing but determined. You arrived early, sitting determinedly in Yelena’s usual row at the front of the class. Other students filed in, giving you knowing looks as they passed you. It was easier to ignore them than you expected. 

Yelena missed her first ever class.

By the end of the hour, shame was eating your insides. It was all your fault. You still didn’t understand why Yelena had chosen to be your project partner. But, you could see now that she was the only one being hurt. 

The professor called you back after class was over. She asked you to recap the class’ content with Yelena because it would be important for your project, due in one more week. 

You remembered suddenly that you had Yelena’s number saved in your cell phone. Tentatively, you sent her a text asking to meet.

Her response was fast. She sent you her address, she told you that she was happy to just read through your notes. If you could drop off your notebook tomorrow, she’d give you it back in class the day after.

.

The next day, you blew off your lunchtime class and headed to Yelena’s instead. 

When she answered the door, Yelena looked tired. Her eyes were red, her mouth was tight. Her hair was up in its usual ponytail. She was wearing a tank top and black jeans. 

"Thank you." She said instead of a greeting, reaching for the notebook in your hands. You didn’t loosen your hold of it.

"Do you want to go through it together?" You asked simply. Yelena looked at you, her eyes full of a defensiveness that hadn’t been there before.

"Do you?" She retorted. 

"Yeah, I do."

With some obvious reluctance, Yelena let you inside her house. She led you to her dining table, a large oak slab with various dents. There was a half eaten bowl of mac and cheese sitting on it.

Yelena sat back down and began to eat. She gestured roughly to the chair beside her. 

You sat down feeling nervous but determined. 

You opened your notebook and began to talk through the class you’d sat through. You tried your best to explain the concept. Your explanation was much more jumbled than Yelena’s were. You tried not to let your embarrassment show. 

Even once she’d finished the last of her lunch, Yelena stayed silent. 

Eventually, you reached the last bullet point in your notes.

"I’m sorry." stared up at you from the page. 

You looked at Yelena and apologized quietly for upsetting her at the library. 

Yelena seemed unsure, she thought for a moment before she spoke. 

"Did I do something?" She asked at last. 

You felt your heart break inside your chest. You had misjudged Yelena completely.

You shook your head.

"I just don’t understand why you picked me to be your partner." You admitted.

Yelena frowned. "What does that mean?" She asked sharply. 

"It doesn’t make sense." You heard yourself whisper, mortification building inside you. "Of everyone in that class, why me?"

Yelena stared at you for a long moment. Like always, the unashamed attention made you feel nervous.

Then, her hand covered yours.

"Why not you?" She asked fiercely. "You’re the one I like best."

"Oh." You said stupidly.

Yelena’s eyes softened as she watched you.

"I like you best too." You said.

Yelena smiled gently. She leaned forward and kissed you. Her lips felt warm, like her hand on top of yours.

.

The project got an A+.