#the stress position

[contentiousprince]

[happyheidi]

｡ﾟﾟ･｡･ﾟﾟ｡ ﾟ. August will bring blessings.

ﾟ･｡･ﾟ

[recoverr]

you're not a monster. you're you. you're flawed, yes, but you're also incredibly alive. just human. real. capable of great things, capable of change and growth, too. don't define yourself by the inner critic lashing out at you. you're not your worst moments.

[allthatispeculiar]

[idontmindifuforgetme]

friend wanted to see my tumblr, and when i told him i can’t show it to him bc it’s basically my personal diary he went “oh so I can’t see it but a bunch of strangers on tumblr can??” he literally does not get me. no one will get me like the people in my phone get me

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

Happy Year of the Snake!

[thesecrethistori-an]

A quick underwhelming breakfast

PhD Day 14: feeling very tired today (it's not even 7 am yet). I have so many things to do and so little time. My big deadline for my grant proposal is getting closer and closer and I feel like all these other tasks get on the way.

I just need October to end to be able to focus on the research :)

[biggest-gaudiest-patronuses]

anyone else have multiple traumatic memories associated specifically with holidays/family vacations? because that is a topic I never see discussed in all the So You Had A Shitty Childhood, Now What? self-help books i've been reading. but for me, it was a significant thing. and the more i think about it the more it seems like this would be an (unfortunately) common experience. would be grateful to hear if this matches other peoples' experiences...

[selfhealingmoments]

[abearinthewoods]

What is autism

I get what autism is and how it can work but only really on a superficial level, I don't get it really cause I don't have it.

Autism is a consistent mismatch between how you mean to come across, and how you actually come across. Autism is knowing and understanding every single cringe thing you've ever done, but only months after the fact. Autism is finding out at 34 that expectations of eye contact doesn't mean stare directly and only into their eyes. Autism is the fact that for every specific struggle an aspie has, there is another who excels at it, which only gets used to excuse why you deserve no compassion for your struggle.

Its the consistent self doubt related to every social interaction because you can't tell where lines are or why/when people are allowed to cross them. Until you just flip flop between holding everybody at arms length so that you don't get in trouble for accidentally-ing a boundary and feeling so isolated watching other people figure out how and when to dip into more familiar/friendly territory with others and deciding to say fuck it to the anxious thoughts and randomly stumbling upon a friend who you can finally connect with on more than a superficial level in the mist of 5 people who are now creeped out by you and are trying to convince said friend to ostracize you.

But on a more literal level, Autism is a brain whos subconscious operates purely on flood gates. Emotional situations will trigger seemingly no emotional reaction, unless the neurochemical strength hits past a threshold, and then it triggers all the emotional reaction. Even the ability to read somebody else, some part of you sees the facial signs, but the signals produce no response, until they hit past a threshold, then they trigger a full and sometimes overwhelming response.

And because we can't read other people, we don't see what people can read into us, correctly or incorrect, which often gets us into trouble.

tl;dr: Imagine if your subconscious could only whisper so quiet you can't hear anything or scream so loud you can't hear anything else.

[nosleepgummitato]

but what if. . . what if he wasn't always a ball of beaming sunshine?

[whumporama]

Defiant Whumpee who has been put in a stress position by Whumper, and just left alone for a while. When Whumper returns, they release Whumpee and watch them crumple to the ground.

Whumpee, who normally fights Whumper at any chance they get, lies still, their breath raspy and gaze far away as they try to work through the pain.

Whumper just watches with a slight smile. This is the first time Whumpee is completely unrestrained, and they're not even trying to escape.

Progress.

[vero-niche]

unexpectedly, my half-asleep written mini-rant has been quite well received on bluesky, so might as well share it here too:

and some of my favourite replies:

[comfort-character-central]

Imagine your f/o holding you, wrapping the two of you in an incredibly soft and comforting blanket. "I've got you, okay? You can rest, you're safe with me." They express in a soft tone, kissing your forehead delicately as you begin to doze off in their embrace.

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

Behold, a Bunny!

(for @alliechickfic on twitter)

[lazylittledragon]

Heya, feel free not to answer if this is uncomfortable, invasive or you just don't want to :)

I'm a trans guy and I'm, after top surgery, hoping to get laurel wreaths tattooed over the scars with florograpgy accents.

Do you have any advice for someone who's never had a tattoo before? Anyways to deal with pain, common courtesies for the tattoo artist, how the actual session goes, etc.?

Love ya,

Quimble

THAT'S A GREAT IDEA also absolutely!!!

don't stress about it or worry about being 'too much', for someone's first one i will talk through every single thing i'm doing and there are no stupid questions or too many concerns. also don't worry about twitching/flinching, it's not your fault and we know how to work around it

your artist should never make you feel bad about ANYTHING!! you can move the stencil as many times as you want and we don't care about your body or what you look like. if you need to take a break it's fine, if you need numbing spray it's fine. i would honestly rather slightly inconvenience myself than make you uncomfortable. as long as you aren't intentionally wiggling around the entire time or being a dick to the artist, you're all good.

yes it is going to hurt but it probably won't be as bad as you think it will be. when i got my first one i really hyped myself up and was very underwhelmed by the pain aksddfjfdj

bring something with you like a book or headphones if you need a distraction (as long as the tattoo placement allows it). i'm quite chatty most of the time but if you want a quiet session/no smalltalk you can ask for that

the actual session will go something like: show up, look at the design, make any changes if you want, test it out for sizing, put the stencil on and make sure you like it, then start the tattoo. afterwards they'll go through all the aftercare with you and either put on second skin (a film that sticks to your skin and protects the tattoo) or wrap it in clingfilm

if they haven't specified when you book the appointment then ask if it's cash/card/paypal etc and if it's cash, try and get it out BEFORE the tattoo appointment (just a time saving thing). also tipping is never expected but always Extremely appreciated :))

please please PLEASE tell us if you don't like the design/want to change the placement etc. personally i would be mortified if i knew someone didn't like what i'd done and didn't feel comfortable telling me. it's there forever so i want you to like it!!