#the place where we found love
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As the Hibike! Euphonium anime series is about to end, this isn't complete without one of its iconic songs and to extend, the very theme one of the KumiRei duo.
Here's a rendition of Ai wo Mitsuketa Basho/The Place Where We Found Love as my special tribute to the show. 🎺🎷💕
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#hibike! euphonium#sound! euphonium#kumiko oumae#reina kousaka#kumiko x reina#kumirei#anison#rendition#cover#song cover#the place where we found love#hanako oku#yona kuromatoki#yona kuromatoki files#Youtube
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Tumblr keeps popping up to sell me ad free dashboard. But what it doesn't understand is that me and the ads have a sort of symbiosis at this point.
The guys from the fake gameplay trailers for a predatory mobile app are my blorbos
#the kings return to do WHAT?#oh my god they put him in a situation#last year he was solving fake puzzles and this year he is shooting hordes of zombies while trying to chokse#which gate that looks like all the other gates in all the other shooting hordes of zombies games#ooh whats my little phoenix wright up to?#begging to be drooled on by a giant cyclops with gianter boobs?#hell yeah you go little pheonix knight#endure or divorce! what will she pick! blond bimbo and boo monstersinc freeze to death in the cold water#my heart will go on#after their nasty dad ate all the food! the tragedy#oh heres another trailer with that same nasty dad! hes snorkling? where is my daccoon eyed woman WHAT THE FUC#SOMEONE POURED (POOP?) INTO HIS SNORKLE THATS SO TERRIBLE#theyre running away wherre is the bimbo oh its all frozen#everythign froze so fast and now nasty dad is in a winter coat and also changed his entire physique#now hes gathering logs now hes buikding a settlement#damn guess we know what happened after the divorce!#and thats how you know the winter log game is by the same company as (one of many) repair the house game#thry got nasty dad model#and he is GOING places#if yiu ever hear 'i finally found a game that is exactly what they show in the ads!' no you didnt#i would love to play the fat guy fighting a horse for the last drop of water#hes like me fr#but hes too busy building underground rooms with the hot chick who may or may not die#SPEAKING OF HOT CHICKS i love that game where you romance a level 10 babe#not a crook or informant thats her whole job description#level 10 babe#she cqn be romanced by picking her off the ground or by showing her money (which you dont have)#but the other guy does!#i wonder what halpens to her#oh good shes upgraded to mafia wife! good for her and she has some buns in the oven too she must be so happOH NO
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After the great battle, he kept finding himself sneaking out to the great hall during sleepless night to find serenity & make peace with everything that happened
#is what i love to think; maybe a few teachers found him but left him be bcs they know why;#hogwarts legacy#hogwarts legacy fanart#eleazar fig#hogwarts legacy mc#we are master of sneaking out & exploring places both where & when we shouldn't be; something like this wouldn't be hard would it ?#i am very fascinated with the great hall view at night; the serenity when no one is there#fanart
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Alright. Okay.
So the entire time I've been reading VnC, I've been assuming that Noé is the sole known survivor of the Archivistes in a relatively normal way. I've been assuming that something happened to the Archiviste clan within Noé's lifetime, just before his human "grandparents" found him in the snow. Obviously I wondered about what happened—who slaughtered them if they were killed and what else might have happened if they aren't all dead as we've been told, but I never questioned the timeline. I assumed that the Archivistes must have been alive and kicking until recently, even if Noé's last remaining family was living in hiding from the rest of vampire society or something like that.
But. We don't actually know that that's true. We don't know a single thing about the timeline of the Archivistes' extermination other than what Nox says about them having all died "long ago." Noé is nineteen years old, and we have no idea how old Nox is. Could the fifteen to seventeen years between Noé's first adoption and the present day be enough to count as long ago?
This is Jun Mochizuki we're talking about. There is extensive precedent in her work (by way of Pandora Hearts) for characters turning up seemingly out of nowhere, often with no memory, and in Pandora Hearts, these cases never had a simple answer. It was always caused by the time-bending properties of the Abyss.
It is entirely within the realm of possibility for the rest of the Archiviste clan to have died years, decades, or even a century or more before Noé was found by his human grandparents. We don't have precedent yet for anything that messes with time in VnC like PH's Abyss, so I don't know how this could have happened, but I don't think we can fully discount the possibility. The outer bounds of world formula rewriting as a power are yet to be fully explored, so it's hard to say firmly that anything's impossible. There might be a way for Noé to exist in the present even if the rest of his clan was killed well over nineteen years ago (be it by PH style time-bending or by some entirely different mechanism).
It's still possible (and even likely) that the Archivistes died or disappeared less than twenty years ago, but it's not quite the concrete fact that I've been thinking of it as this entire time. It's entirely possible that Noé's backstory contains Mochizuki Timeline Fuckery, and now that I've had that thought, I can't unsee it. The author of Pandora Hearts going out of her way to say that her protagonist was found mysteriously alone and crying with no memory of how he got that way is. conspicuous as hell.
#chloé seems like she might be unaware that the archivistes are all supposed to be dead#so let's say that means their extermination took place *after* 1702#that's still almost 200 years of time to play with#what the fuck#like them dying out recently is still the simplest and perhaps most likely explanation#but now that I've had the thought that this is an option I cannot unthink it#we know that Mochijun loves a good timeline twist. and noé's backstory is very gil ph#mysterious amnesiac child gets found and nobody knows where he came from. hm.#and machina has presumably been hiding her identity in public for a LONG time. if we're assuming the rest of the senate doesn't know#so she could fit into either explanation#vnc#the case study of vanitas#noé archiviste#noé archiviste my beloved#vanitas no carte#theory#vnc spoilers#the archiviste clan#long post
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Okay, we all know being a demigod is a shit position. Its scary and gets you killed in really nasty ways. But I feel like being a Big Three Kid has to be the shitiest position in all the shit positions.
Like, imagine being Thalia Grace. Your dad is king of the gods, lord of the skies. Led a war to get rid of a tyrant. And the only thing you get is his scorned wife AND brother, who both try to kill you (with one technically succeeding), a drunk of a mother, and brother who you thought was dead. Oh, wait, he’s not dead! No instead he was used as an offering to appease your dad’s wife and help fight in a war and prevent mass destruction.
Or maybe you can imagine being Percy. Son of the sea god, the stormbringer, the earthshaker. You get to live with a disgusting, abusive man for around 6 years. Who smells like literal shit. All because your scent as a demigod is too strong, BECAUSE of who your father is. You see things that you aren’t supposed to see and do things that people can’t do and go years thinking something is wrong with you. That your the problem. Then you get to the one place where you’re supposed to be save. But! Here is the kicker! You’re not! Your uncles hate you and you’ve been accused of stealing a symbol of power. A series of events that will kick off a war, and guess what. You’re a center point for it. Welcome to Camp Half-Blood.
Mhm, but then there’s Hazel. Daughter Pluto, god of the underworld and riches. But that doesn’t really change anything does it? She’s still living in 1930s America, in a red state. One where confederate flags still hang if you go deep enough into the city. She go to a school where the kids are supposed to be just like her! They still don’t like her tho. She’s got no idea who your father is, only that he left her with a parting gift. Only it’s not really a gift. Sure, she can pull rubies and diamonds from the earth, all worth millions. But anyone who’s ever gonna touch it will die. She lives with her mother, a woman gone so mad with greed it kills her. And Hazel, by the way. Laying dead Alaska, inhaling oil. But it doesn’t end there! She can’t have her mother suffering for eternity, can she? The answer is no. Hazel gets to spend the next 70 years in the Fields of Asphodel. It still doesn’t end! Because when she’s brought back to life, she gets to fight in a war against giants, her sad story seemingly never ending.
Nico’s a son of one of the Big Three, one of the most ancient and most powerful. But most people look at him as something bad, something not worth taking a second glance at. Something too look away from, mostly. He’s from the 30s, spent years in a magical time casino with only his sister at his side. She doesn’t stay for long though, she dies soon after they discover their heritage. And he doesn’t remember his mother much, a name without a face. A face without a name. He survived an attempted assassination at 2, though it wouldn’t be the only time his was life was threatened. He clings to his sister, even though she’s dead. He’s the son of the god of the underworld, is he not? There had to be a way, and there is. Only she won’t talk to him, she seems more concerned with communicating with the guy who got her killed instead. She chooses rebirth, and he decides to lay it to rest. She’s not coming back, and he has a war to fight in. (He gets stuck in a jar and forcibly outed a few years later, but that’s a lot to get into for now.)
Jason Grace is a pillar of New Rome, their golden boy, their American boy. He’s a son of Jupiter, a natural born leader. He’s been at camp for as long as he can remember, he wants to be praetor soon. He’s had a rocky start, but maybe he’ll be one of the lucky ones. Retire a veteran and live a long life with Reyna in New Rome. Only that never happened. He has no idea where he is, there’s a girl holding his hand, and she’s cute but it feels wrong. They get attacked and people come in and call him a Greek demigod, familiar, yes, but still wrong. It doesn’t feel right. It doesn’t put things into perspective the way it does for Piper and Leo. He’s goes to a quest to rescue Hera, the name sounds wrong. He nearly dies but at least he remembers who he is. He spends the next 6 months trying to get back home, even though he isn’t too sure on where or what home is. He gets there, eventually, but it doesn’t stop there. He’s dragged on quests and battles and fights in the war but at least he survives it, he’s still there. Apollo needs help, he and Piper give him aid. He gets dumped. He doesn’t get to he a veteran in New Rome. Not with Reyna, not with Piper, not with anybody. He doesn’t get kids or grandkids. No, he gets shot down, another demigod buried.
You could be any one of them, really. Pick your poison, but I guarantee you won’t like any of them. Spending years trying to find a place where you belong, where you feel safe. Only for it to never come.
Percy, who, if you really look at the books, isn’t really all that well liked until he’s at least 2 years into camp. Only to then be sidelined because the courages, brave, fearless daughter of Zeus is back from the dead. Nico, the son of one of the most feared and hated gods. Who has death written all over him, who excludes it so much animals can smell it and humans can sense it, who’s been ostracized and pushed off to the side since he was 10. Hazel, who was treated like disease as soon as she stepped foot on camp soil. Who’s gone her whole life looked as something that’s cursed, that will only bring misfortune, a bad omen.
Shit positions, all of them.
#Hazel and Jason make my head spin#also jaosn and Percy#I like how they both in a way didn’t want glory or to be some hero#i don’t think Jason mentions it much but they kids and grandkids mention in BOO is very telling#Percy’s is from the musical but whatever we all know the musical is canon#and show Percy thinking something is wrong with him and that he needs a mental evaluation of some kind is#everything#I’m making that canon now#I’d love to get a Thalia book#a trilogy maybe#first book is her with her mom and Jason + Luke and Annabeth on the run#ending with her dying#2nd book takes place after her resurrection and during the the war#final book is life with the hunters#and how she found peace in a world designed for her to struggle#I feel like out of all of them big three kids she’s the only one who got her happy ending#and in the fandom the hunters have gotten the reputation of being where Rick puts characters that can’t be shipped with anyone#but I really don’t think it’s the case with her#she’s also one of the only demigods where I think her story has come to a close#like it’s done#Percy’s story is almost done too#Nico and Hazel I feel aren’t quite there yet#percy jackson#thalia grace#hazel levesque#jason grace#nico di angelo#pjo hoo toa#heroes of olympus#percy jackon and the olympians
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so so sick of every courier service that's not just Regular Local Mail. why do they make everything so difficult and complicated all the time auuggghhggg
#JUST TAKE IT TO A PICK-UP POINT FOR THE LOVE OF GOD#80% of the time they're supposed to do some kind of door delivery something goes Wrong#i have SCHOOL i can't be HOME ALL THE TIME#anyway dhl marked a package as delivered that was absolutely not in the mailbox#customer service said it had been marked as delivered in mailbox which is absolutely not fucking trur#today im told the courier talked to SOMEONE and left it on a CHAIR#THAT'S NOT THE MAILBOX IS IT. SCREAMS#and presumably they didn't talk to my landlord bc he'd leave it in my house#guess ill find out after school if the package is anywhere to be found#like. seriously. they couldn't have left it in the actual mailbox??? a CHAIR??? CHAIR???????#it did Not occur to me to search the terrace area#the previous times this happened (marked delivered but not delivered)#they either hadn't delivered it at all or dropped it off at a pickup point#can we just Not do the song and dance every time. can we do something sensible. like inform me about when and where i can get my package#give me OPTIONS. GIVE ME THE OPTION TO PICK A DELIVERY TIME OR A PICKUP PLACE#and the thing im trying to work on at school keeps going WRONG#NO BAD GOOD VERY TERRIBLE DAY!!!!!!!#i don't have TIME to get sidetracked by all this
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Official “Jee ask”
BRO. JEE.
Istg. Jee.
That man.
Oh my lord.
THE SASS?? HELLO??
It’s soooo unserious. Every time I read his pov my highscore on the giggle-meter goes up.
he is my favorite non-sokka pov to read because of how hilarious his reactions are.
those eyebrow muscles must be swole as hell. Im serious. His eyebrow game must be studied.
I looovee his attitude bro
“Chang practically announced to the whole bar” when they were debriefing what went down in the SWT camp oh my god he is soooo dramatic
Or when he asks Bato “is this another one of your hypothetical scenarios?” Oh my goooodddddd 😭 I’m literally dying he is soo funny. And I don’t think he even realizes.
He is genuinely one of the most entertaining povs to read if I could make one of those “why we <do xyz>” list on “why we read liab” I’d definitely have “for Jee’s eyebrows” or “for Jee’s attitude” up there.
You know exactly how to write middle aged people who are just Done™ with everything.
That poor man cannot take one more problem added to his list and he will make sure of it.
In a way he kinda reminds me of V, (oh my god it’s been so long since I’ve thought about V) and her no-nonsense attitude
Okay I have so many more things to say but I’m not forming coherent thoughts right now, but basically this is the official
Jee Appreciation Ask™
We ❤️ Jee.
We ❤️ LIAB.
official Jee ask deserves the official LIAB Jee image:
@vintageskeletons for making this hahaha
I’m really glad the way I wanted Jee to come across translated well because an unintentionally intentional sassy old man who was fed up with everything while also caring extremely deeply about everything and everyone was my goal. Yayayayyayyy I’m glad you like him haha.
#Ughhh why did you have to bring up V!!?#There was a reality where I didn’t kill them and they fled and stayed alive but I was like ehhhh idk#They aren’t going to leave their home they’d rather die there(especially with V and her sentiments for that place)#& there’s no way Zhao wouldn’t have the power to eliminate them once he found out they were liars ha#But THANK YOU FOREST LESBIANS#you saved our boys haha#We wouldn’t have a three fic series without you!!#Sorry I went on a forest lesbian rant I loved them#RIP V EVE AND RUTH YALL WERE THE MVP#ok anyway that’s it. Glad you like jee#He doesn’t have a pov next chapter but bato does#& Jee is there so… it should be fun haha#Thanks for the amazing ask#Yall seriously make my day#Shit like this makes writing fanfic fun haha#Leaving it all behind#LIAB#ask
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THE ORDER OF PALMS An order of holy folk that serve The Helm, working to create powerful Aasimar Paladins for the purpose of protecting any who hire their help. [BACKSTORY UNDER CUT]
One day, Gjör and her peers were lead by their mentor Opheria, to a mission far from their home. On the peak of that mountain village, they saw upon the horizon, the castle of their home go up in flames. Horrified and scared, the apprentices sought to follow their mentors guidance, and followed her lead into a small barn. It was there, that Opheria proceeded to slaughter each and everyone of the apprentices. It seemed she somehow had a hand in this sudden attack on the Order of Palms. Gjör D'annevual survived a sword through the 'heart', on account of a rare condition, that places her heart on the other side of her chest. When she finally managed to bring herself back home, the Order was insulted by her survival. She had so many better peers, why couldn't any of them have survived? This runt was seriously the only thing that survived Opherias wrath? It was better to just wash their hands clean of this. Thus the Order decided to banish Gjör from their ranks. She now travels the land in search of a purpose.
#luckys original content#dungeons and dragons#MY OCSSSS MY WONDERFUL OCSSS ITS BEEN SO LONGGGG!!this is a fairly old character that i made foreeeever ago#i was trying to go full on into DND LORE ONLY instead of makin up my own stuff. so when i was lookin around i learned abt THE HELM#the god of protection or watever it was. i also like playing paladin bc i love to hit things w my sword. i also like aasimars bc theyrprett#im sure i ahd other Min Maxy reasons for her but i dont have her sheet n ive forgotten everything. never got a chance to play her but yknow#maybe someday. I LIKE HER ALOT TOO. big and strong and well meaning but a lil dumb. justa lil dense n stupid. but she tries!!#I LIKE CHARACTERS THAT HAVE JUST SMALL THINGS DIFERENT ABT THEM. i knew some1 who had that condition. where everythings just flipped#aint that fucked up? that ur organs can just be flipped? and inever see it in fiction. its so neat. imagine finding out like THIS too#she had blacked out from the sword through the heart. the last thing she heard from her mentor was;#'you were a great student. that is why you above all else must die. i hope you understand' spoken through a gentle voice and a gentle smile#the very same that had guided Gjör so far through her journey.A BETRAYAL LIKE NO OTHER! she awoke utop a pile of comrades#each bloodied and dead and cold. she used her own magic to heal herself. to catch herself from the precipice of bleeding out#when she stepped out of the barn she had found that the village was burned to the ground#she was shellshocked!! it took her weeks to limp all the way back down that mountain. all the way back to the place she called home#only to be spit on and kicked back out. being a Paladin of the Palms was her entire life. what was she to do now?#OH SO THE ART. I RLY LIKE HER DESIGN.heavily based off of THE BABY SITTER from HALO LEGENDS. i fuckin love halo so much guys.....#i just love that trope of Big Strong Person in Armor that we all thought wasa fullgrown MAN takes off the helmet to revel shesa PRETTY GIRL#my favorite in the WORLD!! i also like the silly frilly pretty dress sorta motif in gjors armor. it hides all the stuff i dont wanna draw#thats all the ramble i got in me for now. PLEASE ENJOY. and ask me abt my ocs
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My betrothed @aorryn47 and I are taking a little mini vacation next month. It’s near our anniversary but really we just both need an excuse to rest.
As I’m looking for hotels and found this.
I sent a screenshot to my betrothed and they had the audacity to ask if we were gonna stay in the “Spooky a little” place. You think I’m not gonna heed their warning? They said spooky a little! Someone took the time to write a review about the little spooky. I want a hotel that’s no spooky. Zero spooky vacation, please.
#funny#ramblies#my life#I found a place with a sauna and free breakfast and a microwave so that’ll probably be the winner#there’s a cute town I love about an hour and a half away where I used to live with ocean and trees and lots of local restaurants#so we tend to escape there when we can
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I was tagged by @carcarrot (thank youuuu) and this is a new one on me so sure why not what the hell etc
I apologise for some of these horrible terrible images but I didn't cheat and had them all on hand, and actually they probably provide a more genuine portrait of me than I'd like
I tag uhhhhhhhh idk anyone ig. @fred-the-dinosaur @baddingtonbitch @gaytobymeres @basiltheratatouille @explainslowly and anyone else (no pressure obvs)
#tag meme#tag game#idek what to say but these are all in my camera roll#salmond pic is from a group chat i have with a couple of friends where we try to break the news of celebrity deaths first (and usually with#puns if we can) because we're horrible people#cher postcard pic was sent to me by my bff after she found it (i sent her the postcard from Las Vegas when i was fresh out of uni)#skibidi daniel day lewis is an involved meme that came out of a long conversation about him coming out of retirement to appear in his son's#film (and a simultaneous convo about the prospect of a skibidi toilet film and ig some meeting of the twain)#cat statue is near my place of work and i love it#sincere apologies if i ruined anyone's opinion of me
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transmascs stop pretending that transfems are untrustworthy sources for transfeminism challenge impos- fuck i didn't even finish and you already complained about our terminology
#i really hate the expectation to know theory in these shit communities#they're barely communities it feels like on here trans people are unified by strict categorization#constantly infinitely expanding definitions but treating them as immutable and emergent from the core of reality#rather that words used to describe things we experience or the positions we are placed in my transphobic society#we're unified by who is mean to us more than wether or not we actually like each other#and so we must always be ready to litigate our position in these spaces#because they must be Definitionally justified rather than just having a real community where we're treated like human beings#i wish we still had our elders... i wish we weren't so adverse to learning humanly#i wish i could escape the weird black and white fandom thinking but it worms it's way into every community here now#this is why i keep lamenting old t4t spaces#we weren't there to argue theory#we weren't opposed to learning it in fact it was useful and joyful to share with each other#to help describe our experiences and understand where we've been placed in the world#but that's not why we were there#we were there for community to be kind to each other#now it's nothing but a bunch of teenage fandom tme people arguing with fake versions of trans women they invented in their heads#while we just hide in the background wondering if the word community means something different now#or if we're really just so evil to our very cores that we were foolish to think we could have community in the first place#sorry just#needed to vent this shit has been in my head for a while#i wasn't in a place to go to gay bars or trans events when i was first here#i couldn't have local community so finding one here with transfems who loved each other#it was so important to me#and learning that i could cater to that small but kind audience in my sex work is what made me finally love doing it#before then i'd been doing it purely cuz i couldn't get any other job#and before that because i was forced to#there's a lot of trauma wrapped up in my work for me but i healed from it largely because of my sisters i found on here#but i don't know when it went away but it did#and now it feels like we're left in a massive crowd of screaming voices#and i don't recognize any of them anymore
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My controversial amazing devil opinion is uhhhhhh marbles > fair
#the amazing devil#like ‘your eyes aren’t rivers there to weep but a place for crows to rest their feet’ you can’t beat that#‘i chipped my teeth on every joke you cracked’ HELLO?#the rhymes within every line and the rhythms and the harmonies and the wordplay that’s everywhere#i genuinely think it’s one of their strongest songs#also it’s the one i played for my mom when i was trying to convince her i hadn’t found another satanic band got her obsessed with lolol#and she loved it! so#*to get obsessed with. autocorrect hates me with a passion#let’s see what else do i love about marbles#the enjambment (poetry term but idk what else to call it) across lines like#‘but now too much is never enough/to take me back to that dance hole where you got throw out ‘cause they thought you were drunk’#‘if by palace you mean that asbestos and beans from a tin and the gin that we brewed in the bathtub’#the alliteration!! the rhymes and the rhythm and the massive jumps up and down like i think that’s an entire octave she’s bouncing between#the entire song just feels soft and nostalgic and like being wrapped in a hug. god. song ever
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I think at first blush it's easy to say that it's surprising that Neve is so warm, given her "ice mage" aesthetic and appearance. She presents herself in a certain way. But even the quickest glance past that, and Neve is very much a character who is guided by her love and belief in people. Even as she fights against her learned cynicism and past scars. Also, you know. Just tropey for a hard-bitten detective to have a heart of gold. But it works, dammit, and tropes are fun to see play out sometimes!
It would be so easy to write a character from the Imperium who wants it reformed who hates it. Who decries where they are from and insists that they are different and better. That the Imperium is an evil place they happen to be from that must be cleansed.
The game does...none of this with Neve. Which is what makes her so compelling. There's a reason that not choosing Minrathous hardens her. That city is her heart and soul.
It's not from contempt, superiority, or hatred that she wants to reform Tevinter. It's love. It's with this love that she acts: for the love of her people, for the love of what she knows Dock Town, Minrathous, Tevinter, can be. She loves it enough to want to save it.
The way she treats the companions too, how easily she befriends and cares for them. She can't help herself. She wants to believe in people, to reach out to them, to connect and lift them up and care for them. She is so unbelievably warm, this ice mage in the shadows watching her city.
#uhhh just feelings rant about my girl#anyway i love her a lot ;w; that's my BABY#okay going to try to finish veilguard today!#as herbie pointed out they did a rather good job with dorian too with making him want to fight for tevinter bc he believes in it#so i'm more thinking of other games and media where a charcter#may be from a traditionally 'dark' or bad tribe/place/culture#as dictacted by the narrative#and hten you have this One Token Character from the evil place that is Different and Better#and that is soooo not the case w either of them and that slovely#✧ ⸻ ⧽ ❛ steve blues clues voice: we just found a clue ! ( ooc )
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oversharing in the tags time :)
#i think it’s time i go back to therapy#i keep having recurring nightmares about my ex best friend#or dreams where she reaches out to me. and explains why she cut me out#backstory. in high school had a lesbian toxic situationship with my#bestie. THEN i had another one. which kinda overlapped? the first one was open but also just messy#anyways. jade and i were like together for a year. then she got a boyfriend one day and i had a breakdown#it happened just after high school and i was sooooo … unwell. wasn’t out to my family felt like i was gonna die etc etc#(this is all pre dnp btw) anyways next year i found dnp. a couple months later she broke up with her bf#and we sorted dated for a while (this whole time we’d been just friends and i was still not really over it but hiding it)#and then she dated ANOTHER guy. they broke up and she had a breakdown and moved 9 hours away. i went#to visit her for a month. we like kinda dated again then and i thought we could make it work. then 2020. no travel#so she started dating a guy. didn’t tell me. even though we spoke every day. she moved in with him#then she breaks up with him mid 2021. i started dating my gf. but Jade was clingy and it was awkward#she started dating a sketchy guy who was homophobic. i went and visited her a few times#start of 2023 she tells me she wants to make more of an effort cause he didn’t like her friends so she cut everyone out. then she ghosted#in feb 2023. we had tickets for#mcr in march. i had to text her cause she’d blocked me on messenger and said im going to the concert whether she’s there or not#she said ‘yeah no worries! you can take someone else in my place too 😎’ she used that fucking emoji#and I haven’t spoken to her since. I think she quit her job . and that guy was not a nice man#so I still worry about her#writing this all down makes me realise she was a bitch and I deserve better#but I just want closure. it isn’t fair she replied so casually to my text when I said ‘you’ve blocked me’#it isn’t fair she HAS MY SIGNED COPY OF DANS BOOK#anyways. I need therapy to get over this#and I haven’t even written about my family issues (im#out and they’re supportive but my god they fucked me#up as a kid)#if you read this hi 👋 hope you are having a lovely day#don’t get in lesbian situationships!!!
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"Like the scripture says,
'Everyone shall sit under their own vine and fig tree,
And no one shall make them afraid.'
They'll be safe in the nation we've made..."
#Hamilton has its issues#But there's a lot in it to love.#For obvious reasons I've been listening to it again.#I believe in this country and in the ideals it was founded on.#And I believe we are better than our worse hypocrisies and instincts.#I believe in democracy. In the rule by the people for the people.#I believe that we can be a place where everyone can live in peace and prosperity#Regardless of our very real differences and disagreements.#Maybe not today. But someday. I believe that.#This isn't the “greatest country in the world.” It doesn't have to be. It's good and it's mine.#Isn't that enough reason to love it? That it's ours? Our shared project and home? Isn't that all it should need to be to deserve our care?
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i have thought of 1 (one) pro to this whole housing situation and i’m clinging onto it for dear life
#that being the enhanced freedom of living alone/away from family again#just generally being able to have routines and (hopefully) have them be respected in shared living spaces#of course that depends on who i find as a roommate but i’m choosing to stay optimistic#and on the note of freedom that includes more social freedom to have people over#like games nights with friends and stuff#or like. people staying over occasionally.#which technically i could do before it’s just wildly uncomfortable so i generally don’t#it’s the fear of not having a place to fall back to if things go wrong#that’s really getting to me#because my family is so spread out that even if i was able to crash on my mom or grandma’s couches (bc they both live in small one bedrooms)#they’re both so far away (literally a several hour ferry ride in my mom’s case)#that i wouldn’t be able to continue work or school if i had to do that#my dad is looking for a place in the cities around where we are now but that’s not certain at all and again one bedroom#BUT#and this is a HUGE thing that my friend reminded me of#i have friends in my life who would also support me if it came to that (totally not crying while typing this)#he reminded me that his family has even said in the past that i always have a place to stay with them#and i even did at one point for several weeks when our house got all its wall torn out bc of massive water leaks#and i know i have at least two other friends who would do the same if i really needed it#and i’m so so so fucking lucky#i may not have a ton of people in my life but the people i do have are better people than i ever could have hoped for#i stumbled into knowing (and this is no exaggeration) i believe some of the kindest most compassionate loving people in existence#i was always such a sucker for found family stuff and it was only in the last two years or so that i realized that’s what i have#okay stress crying has turned to emotional gratefulness crying#still physically unpleasant but emotionally incomprebly better#personal
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