#that's not a goal for me tho? i just want to feel good in my body
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00000000point00000000 · 2 days ago
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got like 400 cals over my limit (500) today😭😭😭 which is fine and a bit planned bc tomorow is a mono day, which i believe is just stupid, so im going to fast instead.
there is no real research that mono works and it goes against all my beliefs to follow that kind of diet. even when im restricting a lot i try to eat as balanced as possible. in the long run that supports your body and when you dont forbid yourself food you like completely, youre less prone to hard thousands of cals binges. instead i eat in moderation and/or try to find lower cal options. not a big fan of unhealthy diet products tho. that shit is literally so bad for you (i say as i go for a smoke😭). but what did gwyneth paltrow say? "its what makes life interesting, finding the balance between cigarettes and tofu."
anyways, so i had low fat joghurt, cucumber and garlic with a tortilla wrap for lunch and for dinner fried oyster mushrooms with sweet potato fries and plain green salad. these were the best vegan chicken bites i ever made, lowkey proud of myself for that. i ate such a small portion and it still got me highhhh over my limit but its fine.
i dont really love fried or oily food but my boyfriend was sooo happy. ngl im a bit jealous bc hes so tall and does a lot of sports so he can eat whatever he wants and still look amazing.
only two days to go and the diet is over. i reached my goal, bc i noticed my appetite got a lot smaller. it was a good start into restricting again bc 800 cals feel like a lot now :) first time i went trough with the fix it fast after attempting it sooo often. wish i knew how much weight ive lost but i just ordered a scale, that hasnt arrived yet.
also went for a walk today bc i had no time for pilates💕
remember to be kind to yourselves guys, even or especially on days that dont go as planned. youre getting there, youll reach your goal and hopefully as healthy and safe as possible :)
feeling: content😌
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wttcsms · 1 year ago
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i love enemies to lovers but we’re unlocking a new dynamic that is enemies AND lovers
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watery-melon-baller · 1 month ago
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does anyone know a better way to try and reformat a research question for a survey because I am SUFFERING
#I already have a bunch of answers but this data isn't very helpful-#-and maybe I should not change the question so the data is at least consistent all around#i have multiple questions that are all poorly formatted and have not given me much useful data#but I don't know how I could possibly reformat them in a way that isn't a bu ch of open ended fill in the blank questions#my goal here is I'm trying to see like. Flanderization in fandom. Trying to see the canon vs fanon versions people have of characters#but not everyone might realize the version they consider canon IS fanon. So I can't ask it outright I have to fucking. like#idk trick them into telling me and then I can pop out and be like AHA YOU'RE WRONG#i m not sure the best way to go about this#the way I have it is like. I describe the character in 5-7 traits and ask people to pick 3 of them#and i also have an 'other' option if they want to elaborate#buuuuttttt#This question I feel like hasn't been super helpful#because again I can't just be like “do you think X character is just always lovey dovey 24/7 to character Y”#because again. That's too god damned obvious and people are gonna be like no! Even tho subconsciously they do think that#Also I don't think the traits I picked were very good either. It was just like. Too Broad#I'm planning on sending out my survey again and I wanted to see if I could fix some questions before I do so#there is just the issue of the data being inconsistent#I think I might just have to go in and change the character traits#that's I think the issue. But again I don't know how to ask what I want without being straight up like#“Do you think person Xs entire character revolves around character Y”#even tho the entire fandom acts like they do. They're gonna be like what no X is more then that!#and then they immediately go back to treating X like Ys arm candy#sigh.#sociology#fandom culture#fandom#psychology#idk if someone could assist that would be wonderful lmfao#if there's a better way to get the results I want then#it's all just. subconscious. Is all. Sihhnmg
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nomairuins · 4 months ago
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i just fucking hate having ptsd all of it. so many stupid fucking things send me into fucking hysterics it sucks and i hate it and i dont want itttt anymore i dont want it.
#i literally like. i didnt tell u guys bc it was embarassing#but i had to hype myself up to eat a fucking orange the other day. like i was shaking and crying and i nearly threw up.#bc it fucking reminded me of All that and also bc its one of the only foods i got to eat outside ofm my one meal a day#while i was living there. bc my coworker gave me oranges sometimes#and one time she gave me a whole bag of cuties which was wonderful of her i miss her#but i pretty much like. bc during m-f i had a meal at work#and i could get something from the vending machine if i needed to#but on the weekends i had to either order food (which would always make me insanely nauseous bc of. the money stuff. yk) or just eat#what i had in my room bc i couldnt use the kitchen bc the roommates would be mad at me#and they might kick me out and id be actually fucked. its so crazy looking back that i genuinely the entire time i fucking lived there even#b4 the breakup the entire time i was in terror that theyd evict me. bc i wouldnt have been able to do anything abt it#i mean thats why i didnt like. leave him after he . and stuff. both bc i thought i didnt deserve anything better and bc i was terrified#theyd evict me and i wouldnt have any way to get home. it was terrifying#but ya. so for a couple weeks i rationed myself One orange per day lol. and on weekends that was all i was able to eat rly#idk. i hate ptsd. basicalllyyyy is the gist of ittt. and i keep thinking abt random fucking things they did to me#me when they jokingly tell me to starve myself when i literally have a fucking eating disorder. and when i told The Only Person i knew in#that fucking house abt it he told me i was being dramatic and i was just being greedy and etc. and then later when i got off work today i#saw on their fucking whiteboard in the kitchen i wasnt supposed to use Eat more <3 as one of their goals. while i went to sit in the garage#for the weekend eating a single fucking orange a day. god#idk. ive gotten better with eating i still have the scale but i ws able to go months without using it until the medical call the other week#and i havent used it since but. everytime i think abt all that itmakes me want to go back to it. i cant tho everyone would notice#i do still eat a wholee lot less than i did b4 washington but idk. idont remember if i even ate today i probably should but i dont feel#hungry but i cant even fucking trust that bc i Starved myself for so fucking long im too good at ignoring hunger. and i never was super in#touch with my body but im constantly numb now. idk.#ed ment#a2t#i ws gonna say more but it ws tmi + tag limit anyway. its just insane that my fucking ed wouldnt have happened if it werent for him and it#graduated i wouldnt have been isolatedinever wouldve had an ed. like 50% of my ptsd would be Gone if i just hadnt joined that discord. lol
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thueenz · 1 year ago
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for real though that post is so true on the love front i think about it all the time like why is everyone so LOVELESS not even just in like cishetero marriages where they hate each other just in general like platonic too. it drives me craaazy when im exposed to it like why are ppl like this !! why dont you love your friends and partner!! its like everything is a social game that theyre playing just for validation and lacking real connection and its a game where theyre always about 2 steps away from being bitter and hateful towards their friends/lover like STOOOOP! im someone who values love and kindness so much and it baffles me. why do you hate your partner! why do you talk about them like theyre an object of validation! why are you dating someone you clearly dislike! why are u so mean to ur friends behind their backs im cryin. why do you up and abandon them the second you get a partner bc you dont value them over the romantic validation you get. ive always been such an affectionate person at heart and i value what my friends say so much and i always find myself feeling so distant from people in relationships because they just feel?? so shallow?? and distant from me. like i think oh this preson gets me but theres ppl who say the same things how they value kindness and love but its always like, immediately clear they are actually a deeply mean person and just enjoy feeling like theyre 'good'. the way society functions with relationships feels so intensely shallow and i cannot connect to it at all. i love my friends and i love people and i always want to understand them and reach out with compassion and be close to them physically and emotionally speaking and talk a lot and listen to them. however im cursed to live in a world of 1 word responses if any at all and shallow relationships where no one gaf about each other and then i get told i talk too much. hello? *tapping mic* hello? is this thing on? be filled with whimsy and love going forward please. anyway does anyone else feel this way or is it just me feel free to talk about it if youd like
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arolesbianism · 7 months ago
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I'm starting to see ppl talk abt updating their artfight pages and at first I was like what why it's still months away and then it hit me that by months it was two months and now I'm just silently sweating as my anual side project to remake the eternal gales refs and give them all icons comes back to haunt me
#rat rambles#oc posting#well I mean the good news is that all the staliens are already done and Ive already started on the human kids#the bad news is that theres still 5 more refs for me to remake and 9 icons if I decide to commit to that#the only one Ill probably force myself to do is sprinkles since shes the only stalien that doesnt have one and I dont want to leave her out#the human kids might just not get them tho especially since theres other characters Id like to make refs and icons for too#not as many newbies to the field this year which is a good thing since I do not have a lot of space left for new characters lol#Im probably going to take it easy this year in terms of my goals for artfight since last year I crashed and burned Hard#hopefully Ill have the time and motivation to draw a decent amount but if I dont Ill try not to be too broken up about it#especially since Ill probably burn myself out a bit doing the last minute ref rush lol#its not necessary especially since all the guys who needed the new refs most got theirs but Id like for them to be on the same page#I also went ahead and cleaned up my page a lil bit to make my life easier in the future#I should probably update bios and stuff but I dont feel like it Im too tired#tomorrow Im definitely going to need to clean some more as I have been for nearly every day#I mean guess thats why Im here in part#last week of pet sitting tho so soon Ill be back home again#Im not sure if Im excited or dreading it cause while I miss my family I also have been rly enjoying a house to myself#like its not necessary easy to do all the chores and stuff but it's a lot easier to do said chores when Im alone#and Ive actually been waking up at reasonable times too like not having my mom floating around is doing wonders#its almost making me rethink my insistence that I couldnt live alone but I definitely think itd get to me in the long term I need people#I just wish there was a better middleground since having people constantly in the house stresses me out so bad#it leads to me hiding out all day in my room and that's just not good for me#but its not like I could live by myself even if I wanted to#at this rate I dont think Ill ever move out but lets not think abt how much worse that could be for me thats future me's problem
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thats-sir-dyke-to-you · 10 months ago
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seiwas · 8 months ago
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LET’S HAVE A SLEEPOVER!!
ask/share whatever you’d like!! something that’s happened to you lately (good or bad!), an ask for tips and tricks (advice if you want!), your new favourite anything! (recommendations too), a fic that’s left you feeling all typa ways, and anything else really!
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evie-doesnt-write · 9 months ago
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I cannot be the only one who genuinely thought Snow was more sympathetic in the actual book?
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1eos · 2 years ago
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ppl when you tell them you're not working out to lose weight
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rubys-domain · 1 year ago
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at this point i dont even care if i get kokomi. i just want a 5 star
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rosicheeks · 2 years ago
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You are possibly the softest, most gentle angel on this app 🥺 All your tags, how overwhelmed with romance you get, it’s so utterly delightful and makes my heart burst 🥺 Even through a screen, you give the immense feeling of being home, even to an anon like me 💜
If this is what it feels like to know you from a distance, I can’t even begin to imagine the unfathomable euphoria of knowing you up close Rosie 🥺 You are exquisite, in every sense of the word 🥺🥺🥺
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#I’m NOT OKAY OMG#jdnsksnkxnfksnsmdndks I just?????? this is so fucking sweet I can’t handle it 😭😭😭😭😭😭#with everything that’s been going on lately I definitely needed this 🥺 thank you so fucking much#^^ this is me ((sobbing and petting my bursting heart 🥺🥰))#first of all…. you think I’m an angel 🥺🥺🥺#broooooo I’m happy you like how overwhelmed (obsessed) I am with romance cause to me?!? I would like my heart to calm the fuck down#I didn’t ASK to be a hopeless romantic!! whoever made me accidentally spilled too much in and now I’m stuck like this 😂😂😂😂#I think the part that actually made me start crying was the ‘home’ bit….. like that is so intimate and sweet 😭#my goal is to find someone who makes me feel like home and I can make them feel like home…. no matter where we are or what’s going on -#all that matters is that we have each other…. I’ve been rewatching once upon a time while I paint and boy oh BOY that does things to me#I want to find my Prince Charming 😭😭😭#but seriously I’m going to be thinking about that compliment for years!! ‘give the immense feeling of being home’ hold on while I SOB#I still think about an anon who said I reminded them of autumn cause that hit a soft spot inside me and this home shit DEFINITELY DID#just…. thank you 🥺🥺🥺#honestly that last paragraph? I can’t believe someone could feel that way towards ME#like are you sure you have the right person?????? and then I read rosie and I’m like 👀 that’s me tho#I think exquisite is such an underrated word#I don’t even know what to say anymore dude… I think I said it all but then I read the ask again and I’m like 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺#and I feel like my tags aren’t good enough but I’m wayyyyyy too lazy to redo them so hopefully they’re good enough#I just don’t think you understand how much these asks mean to me#lately I’ve been in a little bit of a hole (and I haven’t been good at replying so I’m so sorry to anyone who has tried to snap/message me)#idk if hole is the right word maybe funk???#but either way these asks never fail to put a smile on my face and remind myself that there is still good in the world#there are still amazing people I have yet to meet and wonderful places I have yet to see idk these asks help me get out of my depression#and I seriously can’t thank you enough I feel like I’ve said it a billion times but thank you thank you thank you#I’m not positive but I’m pretty sure words of affirmation is one of my highest love languages#words mean so much to me (obviously actions speak louder than words and blah blah blah) but I’ll be thinking about sweet words for YEARS#ok I’m probably running out of space so I should shut up….. but I’m going to end it on this -#thank you so much for sending me this 💖 thank you for taking the time out of your day to send me such sweet words#ask
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lilowoof · 7 months ago
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OUGH, these feelings of loneliness have been so strong lately.... going from having someone to talk to here n there to just radio silence kinda hurts, ngl X'D
I've done this song n dance before and IDM waking up to no messages or not having ppl close to me to chat to but still! Having a taste of closeness with ppl, only for it to be ripped out of my hands, by my choice, or theirs, or both just...... It hurts!
Thankfully I do have some great pals whom I can reach out to if needed so it's not like I am 100% alone XDD I guess I'm just trying to readjust to the current situation. And I know that I have the power to reach out to ppl and also to check out events in town to meet ppl! It's hard for me to do those things but I have the power to, gotta give myself grace and take things one step at a time, as I usually do!
I just wish it didn't hurt so badly haha!! (also this is not an invitation for ppl to dm me (unless u really want to for some reason). I just like writing down my thoughts so I can dissect them better and of course not bottle things up, etc etc)
#don't get me wrong: most of the time I adore just being in my own head and alone!#but when I wanna talk to someone about stuff that is happening.....good or bad. and having no one#THAT's when it hurts the most#doesnt help that this year was kinda just like yay more ppl to hang with- oh they either dropped me as a friend#or prefer to hang with others who are better players (for salmon at least). AH WELL#I really want to go back to the dating apps just so I can TRY to meet ppl even if it doesnt work. AND MEETUP TOO I gotta get on that#tho I do need to reach out to ppl privately to play fish game with since I tend to just wait for ppl to come to me and#thats not the way to go.... if only I was a god tier player so more ppl would reach out LSDGKNSDHG JKJK IM happy with those that do poke me#and of course chatting with ppl in servers helps too but it sucks when they arent avail or what I say gets ignored :')#BUT YE. while I AM sad over all of this.... I do have the power to make the change so hopefully the executive dysfunction allows for it#I want to think about how much I wanna live#not about how much I want to fade away and die. ya need some good ppl in life and since I dont have that in the fam. I need the friends :D#actually all of this stemmed from the realization I had on priv that I basically have no family to lean on. like. at all. no connection#or trust#and to not have any pals that can fill that role too!!! YEAH IT SUCKS! but I will try to mitigate the pain. work is easing up so I have tim#hahaha I kinda feel better typing this all out! that was the goal after all
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qaanngi · 7 months ago
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Scrolled to 2020 to try and update the file for Theo's birthday pic (HBD to him 💙) and that really was such a wonderful period for me in terms of drawing 🥲
#just wanted to update my signature but mobile app and browser don't work 🫠🫠🫠#le whiny text post#also the few asks I got back then were just stellar 🥲#it sucks that I don't feel the same joy and contentment when I draw anymore#idl PSA if anyone reads this far down my tags: never tell anyone they should draw: (1) just for fun. (2) for the success in their heart#(3) assume that they do not actually draw for themselves and proceed to tell them to not draw what fandoms want despite. like look at their#fucking body of work before you say something that presumptive and dismissive 🙄#(4) don't assume they are just* clout chasing. I lost my job in the middle of COVID and still had a whole year's worth of tuition to pay#in the middle of lockdown. so no money for anything including necessities. foolishly thought I might be good enough for comms#very very VERY foolishly put out a rhetorical Q on how to build a following. again my bad for assuming I'm good enough#and then was told indirectly that 'people conflate numbers with worth' and like yeah ok#but also I lost my job Jan 🫠#sometimes hyper positive 'encouragement' comes off so dismissive#and now (3 years later) I still can't even say what I draw is 'art.' I feel ashamed of sharing anything. I think everyone hates everything#draw (tho that is kind of a true fact with the gnshn fandom if we're talking art styles). I can't even call myself an 'aspiring artist'#I feel guilt and shame for wanting to have ever been one despite wanting to be one since I was a child and wanting to like open comms or#design prints and stickers and shit.#what they thought was 'encouraging' comes off dismissive. like getting scolded by your betters that you shouldn't aspire to have and do#the things that they have and do. and girl when I tell you it took a lifetime to get some of them to even acknowledge me 🫠#like hoping they thought of me as a peer but it sounds like I'm beneath them#and they are bigger fandom artists. all of them had either comms or something open and literally that's all I ever wanted. the other stuff#is clearly beyond me but idk. just sucks to hear bigger artists tell you to just be content to be the little nothing that you are and to no#aspire to achieve the things you want.#and I shouldn't let it get to but 3 years later and we have given up.#even lowering goals to just such small things and those can't even be achieved 👍#anyways HBD Theo. You gave up on the dream of being an artist. Me too 🤝💙🙃
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malusokay · 2 months ago
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Essentials for a cosy study day 𝜗𝜚˚⋆
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Tea, coffee, water. Drink more than you think you should; it will help you focus!! My recent obsession has been chai lattes. :)
Get ready even if you plan on staying home. Take a shower, do your hair make-up, and do whatever you would do on a regular day, too.
Cosy but cute fit. Something comfortable that still makes you feel pretty and good about yourself.
Set some goals. Whether this be a specific page number you want to reach, a set study time, etc etc., keep it achievable, tho!!
Play around with music and playlists when you lose focus. I always switch between studying in complete silence, classical music, lofi, and more gloomy playlists; this helps me stay focused for longer. :)
Take little breaks, stretch, have a snack, open a window, and catch up with your friends for a bit to avoid feeling burned out or overly exhausted.
Make your study space cosy, light a candle, get a blanket, adjust the lighting and temperature to your liking, and keep your desk organised.
Watch something cosy but motivating like Gilmore Girls if you're just organising your notes, school stuff, or simply studying lighter material to keep you entertained.
Here are some of my favourite study playlists 𝜗𝜚˚⋆
Back to school gloominess
Old Ivories (piano music)
Rory Gilmore Autumn
My Lofi Playlist
Soft studies
As always, please feel free to share your own suggestions and tips in the comments! <3
my insta: @ malusokay
love ya ・:*₊‧✩
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velvetcrimsonkisses · 5 months ago
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Inexperienced!Ino who becomes a nervous wreck when the topic of sex comes up. He didn’t want to rush anything, but the poor guy had needs and you weren’t helping with how pretty Takuma thought you were and how needy and desperate he was for you.
Feeling his boner against you every time you both sloppily made out on his bed, your tongues intertwining with each other, both of you fighting for dominance. Exchanging saliva that almost dares to drip down Takuma’s lips. His arms wrapped around your body, engulfing you almost as if you were going to leave. His hands grazed over your body, squeezing your skin making sure this wasn’t a dream.
“Takuma, we should do more. I want to touch you baby,” the sweet whispers leave your lips and enter his ears as you press wet kisses to it. Takuma closes his eyes shut tightly; knowing that if he looked at your beautiful pleading eyes, he would give in. He takes a moment to compose himself but you are set on a goal, placing your hand on his thighs, giving him a firm squeeze as you move further and further up. Laying your head on his thigh you try to convince him again. “I could make you feel so good baby,” a small smirk appears on your lips.
Takuma opens his eyes and looks down at you, lost in his thoughts. Thinking about all the damn things you could do. He swallows hard, his Adam's apple bobbing visibly. He gives you a little nod and you quickly move down face-to-face with his erection. “May I?” you ask tugging on his pants. “Yeaah…” He gives you another quick nod as his body relaxes and he spreads his legs wider. You pull down his pants quickly, noticing he wasn’t wearing boxers. His hard cock springs free, already oozing with pre-cum. You knew he was bigger than average but the nice happy trail that led down to his thick cock already twitching with anticipation paired with a slight curve left you craving for more.
“Such a pretty cock, Takuma” you coo, peppering small kisses on his v-line. His eyes widen, quickly blushing at your unexpected words. He uses a hand to cover the embarrassment on his face. “Don’t cover your face baby,” you sing softly, as you remove his hand. You lean your cheek against his thigh once again and look up at him, your eyes meeting his eyes. “Want me to use my hands or my mouth…”
“Mouth… please,” he lets outs a soft, needy whimper as he bucks his hips up a little to get closer to your lips. You giggle at the sight of your needy boyfriend. An “okay, baby” is all you say before you give a quick kiss to his tip, earning another whimper from Takuma. You quickly lick from the base to the tip of his cock.
A proper moan finally leaves his lips as you wrap your lips around the tip of his cock, His whole body shudders with immense pleasure, his hips bucking involuntarily as you suck him off properly. Hollowing your cheeks as you try to take his impressive length all in your mouth. His moans grow louder and desperate as you take him deeper into your mouth. The sensation driving him wild. He tosses his head back, breathing heavily, hands fisting the sheets as he fights the overwhelming urge to thrust up.
“Fuck… oh fuck, just like that,” He was so close. His breath hitches as he finally meets your gaze. Each stroke and suck sends jolts of pleasure throughout his toned body. He feels his it approaching, the tension in his stomach coiling tight inside him because of how good you made him feel.
“Oh fuck…” is the only warning you get from Takuma before he comes undone. Spurt after spurt of hot, thick cum coats your tounge and throat as you drink him in entirely, milking him for everything he's worth. His throbbing cock still twitching in your mouth.
“Did you swallow it? You didn’t have too” An expression of worry takes over Takuma's face as his hands come up to your cheeks, moving the hair in your face out of the way. You giggle as you wipe his cum off your chin with your finger. “You taste so good tho…”
“Did you like it?” you say as you straddle him. Takuma quickly nods, placing his large hands to rest on your hips, big brown eyes looking up at you, admiring you as if you were godess. His head comes to rest on your chest. “Can I do that to you now?” he asks with a pout and how could you tell him no.
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