#for half my life my biggest want and goal in life has been to be someone approachable and who seems kind

[thueenz]

for real though that post is so true on the love front i think about it all the time like why is everyone so LOVELESS not even just in like cishetero marriages where they hate each other just in general like platonic too. it drives me craaazy when im exposed to it like why are ppl like this !! why dont you love your friends and partner!! its like everything is a social game that theyre playing just for validation and lacking real connection and its a game where theyre always about 2 steps away from being bitter and hateful towards their friends/lover like STOOOOP! im someone who values love and kindness so much and it baffles me. why do you hate your partner! why do you talk about them like theyre an object of validation! why are you dating someone you clearly dislike! why are u so mean to ur friends behind their backs im cryin. why do you up and abandon them the second you get a partner bc you dont value them over the romantic validation you get. ive always been such an affectionate person at heart and i value what my friends say so much and i always find myself feeling so distant from people in relationships because they just feel?? so shallow?? and distant from me. like i think oh this preson gets me but theres ppl who say the same things how they value kindness and love but its always like, immediately clear they are actually a deeply mean person and just enjoy feeling like theyre 'good'. the way society functions with relationships feels so intensely shallow and i cannot connect to it at all. i love my friends and i love people and i always want to understand them and reach out with compassion and be close to them physically and emotionally speaking and talk a lot and listen to them. however im cursed to live in a world of 1 word responses if any at all and shallow relationships where no one gaf about each other and then i get told i talk too much. hello? *tapping mic* hello? is this thing on? be filled with whimsy and love going forward please. anyway does anyone else feel this way or is it just me feel free to talk about it if youd like

[slytherinshua]

ALL MY LOVE

genre. fluff. boyfriend headcanons. warnings. minghao dreams abt marriage and starting a family. not proofread and written while i'm sick and have half a braincell so i'm rly sorry if this is a mess. pairing. minghao x fem!reader. wc. 558. request. no. a/n. babe wake up slytherinshua is back skdjskd GOD IM SO HAPPY I WAS ABLE TO WRITE SOMETHING FINALLY 😭😭 thought this blog was literally gonna die cause writers block was so strong. also surprised it ended up being svt that broke through my block esp minghao but yk ill take it no complaints !!!!

boyfriend!minghao who’s a gentle, slow lover. he never rushes, but he also never leaves you with any doubt. he can read you like a book, and any concerns on your mind seem to be instantly resolved before you even have time to bring them up. he’s steady and true; your rock that you always know you can fall back on when things get tough. no matter what, he’ll always be there. he gives you a soft passionate type of love that you would never get tired of even after decades. 

boyfriend!minghao who’s always been ambitious. he has dozens of things he’d like to do and achieve, but he also knows how to take life slow and enjoy the present. he knows he has time to do everything he wants, and he reminds you that you also have plenty of time as well. sometimes you need that extra voice to tell you that it’s okay to take a break sometimes. it’s okay to breathe and think. no matter what, minghao will always be your biggest supporter— always rooting for you to strive and reach your goals, even if they are small.

boyfriend!minghao who helps you relax after a long day. warm tea and a massage are enough to put your mind and body at ease. his hands work like magic over your neck, shoulders, and back. it’s so good, in fact, that you feel guilty for not paying him for his service. he would never accept anything like that from you, though. once he’s done working out the knots for 20 minutes, he’d fall on top of you, giggling into the crook of your neck as he acts like your personal weighted blanket.

boyfriend!minghao who has a whole collection of couple items with you over the years. whether it be clothes, jewelry, or even mugs, everything he buys seems to come in a set of two. he can’t even imagine buying something for just himself anymore when you always seem to cross his mind whenever he spots something cute.

boyfriend!minghao who scolds you (but truly only out of love). his attention to detail and observant nature is both his strength and his flaw. he’s quick with his tongue— too quick— and will catch himself lecturing or correcting you when it wasn’t strictly needed. although it’s rare for his scolding to get on your nerves, as you know its a way he shows that he cares about you and loves you, it sometimes does. but he’s quick with his apologies as well, so no bickering between you two can ever last long. 

boyfriend!minghao who is so happy and secure in your relationship. he knows he’s found the one with you, and now that he’s been able to call you his for years, there’s no way he would ever be able to imagine his life without you. the overwhelming fondness he holds for you plants itself in his head and his heart and always has him thinking about your future together. he’d tell you randomly over tea how much he’s been thinking and dreaming about spending the rest of his life with you. whether it be big milestones like your wedding and starting a family, or smaller ones like waking up in each others arms each morning, he’s excited to experience it all with you.

↳ svt taglist (bolded could not be tagged): @kangtaehyunzzz,, @eternalgyu,, @ddeonudepressions,, @hannahsophie0103,, @minholing,,

@shuabby1994,, @icyminghao,, @98-0603,, @weird-bookworm,, @candewlsy,,

@wonwooz1,, @blossominghunnie,, @haecien,, @amara-mars,, @okshu,,

@parkjennykim,, @wootify,, @svtoose,, @seunghancore,, @ujisworld,,

@heavenfilm,, @sobun1est,, @bananabubble,, @talkingsaxy,, @thesunsfullmoon,,

@talking-saxy,, @nicholasluvbot,, @cupidslovearrows,, @50-husbands,, @hursheys,,

@gong-fourz,, @nonononranghaee,, @forever-atiny

[iliveforyouilongforyouvesuvia]

Vesuvia Weekly (M6 Drabbles): To be loved is to be ...

Valued. Julian knows it's a bit callous of him to claim that nobody has ever valued him, when even the people he's hurt the most deeply still can't keep themselves from wanting to save him. But you're the first person who's somehow gotten that message past his poor self-esteem. Without any excuses to shelve your love onto - you're my family, you have to feel that way, I was your friend, you'd feel guilty if you didn't, you saved me once, so you're obliged to do it again - the only explanation he can accept from you is the one you give him.

So when you hold him and keep holding him when he's convinced he doesn't have anything worthwhile to offer you except himself, he has to believe he's valued. By you. And god, what a thought that is.

Known. After years of being your home, Asra knows you like the back of their hand. But for the past three years - and for most of their life, if they're being honest - their greatest safety was their capacity to be unknowable. Unreadable. Mysterious and unpredictable. Nobody was ever allowed into his heart as more than a guest, and until he unconditionally handed half of it over to you as yours, nobody ever had a claim to it. But now you've come fully into your own, and you're part of their life on equal footing, and secrets are foolish now.

You know everything about him - how he likes his tea, the minute shifts in your bond with his every fleeting emotion, the way his "impossible" brain thinks - and it's okay because it's you. You're home.

Uplifted. Nadia is a born and nurtured leader. As the youngest in a family of them, she watched and learned from a leadership style that focused on building things up - and then she married someone who tore her down instead, along with an entire city's populace. Waking up to a city in ruins and a council of sabotage and not a single memory of any nearby friends did not help the parts of her that could use some building up. How was she supposed to lay solid foundations when she felt like she was crumbling? Until you, that is.

You see her weaknesses and immaturities and inexperience and your response is to support her. You comfort her when she's discouraged and encourage her when she's fearful. You build her up.

Protected. As loathe as he is to admit it, Muriel's done more than his fair share of protecting those he cares about. From his time in the Coliseum, to his escape from the Coliseum, to his watchful nurture in the woods, many of his biggest changes happened to protect another life. He never got his hopes up for someone who'd see him, all 6'10, grouchy, seemingly indestructible roughness of him, and want to protect him. People like him don't get to have things like softness, and warmth, and hearty meals that make you sleepy-safe.

You don't agree. You see the fearful, anxiety-ridden child in his eyes when a crowd gets too big or a stranger gets too loud, and you take care of it. You protect him. You show him what "safe" feels like.

Seen. Counting every time she's been overlooked for someone else's sake is the fastest way to send Portia spiraling into uncharacteristic depression. The worst part is that she always ended up going along with it, overlooking herself in the process. Her brother needed a stable sister. The grandmas needed an extra pair of hands. Her brother needed a stable sister, again. The Palace needed someone to keep watch over the Countess. The Countess needed a handmaiden. So, you ... what kind of invisible do you need her to be, for you?

Except that you wanted her to be loud. You wanted her to be visible. You wanted her to talk about herself, for once. You're the first main character she's on equal footing with, and you see each other.

Changed. Lucio is not used to changing. He was raised to see it as a sign of weakness - one moment of compromising your own goals, one moment of failing to commit, and you're as good as dead. So he as a teenager, filled with feelings of betrayal and abandonment, decided exactly who he wanted to be and stuck to the bit. Too many deals, several battlefields, a lethal plague, a Coliseum, countless crimes, and a few decades later, Lucio found as good as dead anyways. Until you happened. With a new goal to commit to.

Somehow changing for you (as vulnerable as it is) doesn't feel weak. Every moment that he struggles out of another habit, he finds you in a new space full of gentle pleasures his teenaged self never imagined.

[myceliacrochet]

Itaf and Mazen's love is beautiful, I love to see it. We are Facebook friends. She said the other day that each donation and kind word is a rose we place on her path. May Itaf and Mazen live happily ever after.

The words of her GoFundMe:

"Hello!

"I am Itaf and this is my husband Mazen.

"My husband is everything to me, and I am his everything... and we are being starved. We want to be together, and we want to see each other smile again in peace. Our love is unique to us, we don't want to lose each other. We don't want a world where one of us doesn't exist anymore. We desire the end of this constant anxiety, hunger and danger. Our love is strong and we want to connect with the whole world, we have so much to give back. Please feel your power to support us through the tiniest contribution, so we can leave Gaza eventually for freedom and peace.

"What happened to us?

"My husband and I live in Rafah, Gaza under harsh conditions. For more than five months, we have been under bombardment, war and fire.

"My house was severely damaged due to the bombing that was next to me. The shrapnel fell right on top of us. We narrowly escaped death. Many of my neighbors and relatives died because of these attacks. So we couldn't stay and had to relocate. Our new "house" is mainly made of tin sheets (see picture below).

"We are now in severe hardship, hunger and thirst. We eat grasses, animal feed and drink polluted salt water to survive. There is no water, food, or treatment. Even though the little we have, every morning if possible, we feed the cats and make sure they got something as well.

"We want to escape by all means. Please support us get out of here. You can make a difference even by donating a coffees worth.

"Helping us means that you give us life and live safely. Help, to get us out of this burning hell here. The bombs are dropping mercilessly on our land.

"Every minute makes a difference. Every little amount counts. A small amount that doesn't hurt you, can make the biggest difference to us... you personally don't have to carry a huge burden, we are asking for a collective deed, when many people give a little, we will make it. Thank you so much.

"❤️

"---

"Adressing your commonly asked questions:

"1. Can we trust this?

"Our friend in Germany has started this campaing for us, because we in Palestine are not allowed to do a GoFundme. Our friend will make sure the money reaches us safely via Western Union. Thank you so much for helping and asking!

"2. It feels like a losing battle

"That's true for every time you give a Dollar to a homeless person as well, and you still do it from time to time, so they can get something to eat today.

"In our case, we are trapped in the real life squid-games or hunger games. You can actually help a ton by giving 1$ and spread the news! We are still alive... the battle is not lost yet.

"3. Focus on two people? Then what about all the other people?

"We love this thought, because it shows so much compassion, but it will cause hopelessness and inaction. You are here now, so if you want to help, here is a good place to start. Just even 1$ and spreading this campaign on social media to reach our goal will make the biggest difference. Thank you!

"(If you want to help furthermore, we'd greatly appreciate if you consider donating to the UNWRA Gaza relief fund as well).

"This is a scene from my diary of harsh conditions. It was a very good day I bought half a kilo of rice, cooked it, and now I'm done. I was trying to buy a kilo of sugar but it is insanely high priced.

"4. Why this specific amount and does it really help?

"The little bit of food we can still get here got extremely expensive, so even just staying will be costly if we want to stay alive. The costs of coordination at the Rafah crossing will go through the Egyptian Hala company. One of the burdens we have to carry is non-reliable bureaucracy, the cost is $5,000 - $10,000 per person. There are road and crossing fees from Rafah to Cairo of approximately $100 per person. I do not know how much it costs to fly from Egypt to the host country where Carolin invited us to. So our aim is to get $20.000 (which translates to 22.500 Euros incl. the GoFundMe fee) to at least get the Rafah crossing for sure. If we have extra we can afford to get to our host country as well, which would be the absolute dream - but our first goal is to get out.

"5. How do I stay informed?

"I post my Inside-Gaza diary on Facebook and Instagram, please feel free to follow me there, I will post updates!

"Follow my diary on Facebook

"Follow me on Instagram

"Furthermore Carolin will help keep this Fundraiser up to date!

"6. Why should I help?

"Because we can only succeed when everybody gives a little bit.

"This is our current home, thanks for your help even for the slightest bit! Greetings from Gaza...

"7. How often is the money being sent?

"The donations are being transferred on a regular basis, so that they are with Itaf and Mazen as soon as possible.

"8. How is the money being used?

"It will be used to evacuate eventually and in the meantime to buy food and water, to survive the harsh conditions.

"--

"Thank you for taking the time to read this and for considering supporting our cause."

Donate:

https://gofund.me/79bcce1f

Vetting:

I don't know of any vetting for Itaf and Mazen. I just know them on Facebook, and the RIS is clean on all the pictures in this post.

@acehimbo @butchfeygela @bisexualspeed @butchjeremyfragrance @k1teko @ohjinyoung @revoltingcocks @yampulp @eraserheadbaby2 @nocturnal-notes @rememberthelaughter2016 @parfaithaven @gryficowa @tittyinfinity @6o3o9 @fantasykiri5 @sadbiooi @battleofthegarys @illpunchababy @alliterate-accident @flashingdaydreams @s7ar-sai10r @tallytals @monotremesoup @dlxxv-vetted-donations @ilikefoodandyourmom @i-named-my-cactus-albert @pogasssm @thethrillbasisindeterminable @agremlinthing @huzni @bagofbonesmp3 @hussyknee @divorce-enjoyer @treffyfrinn @effen-draws @thatsonehellofabird @neechees @queerpotat @queerstudiesnatural @maester-cressen @lampsbian @freddyfazbearboyfriend

[cheeseplants]

2024 fic roundup

Can I just create an ask game? I wanted to create a snapshot for 2024 for me, and would love to hear from others, so I’m going to interview myself like a loon.

Please join in if you want 🙂 I know we’re in Dec, so feel free to answer at the end of the month if you wish!

What fandoms do you write in?

Good Omens! Aziraphale/Crowley!

And I wrote one for the tiny fandom of The House in the Cerulean Sea. Linus/Arthur 4ever.

How many words have you published in 2024?

This is a tricky one. My official total is 270,737 words but three of those were collabs. So if I count the fics that only I wrote it’s 117,911. Which is still a bit mind-blowing to me, as I only started doing this Nov 2023.

What is your greatest achievement this year?

It has to probably be my first ever longfic over 50k. I set myself a goal to write something long and follow the beats of a classic romcom. And I did it! It was really me muddling through it trying to work out what the Hell I was doing. But it exists and some people even said they liked it, so I count that as a win. 

It’s called The Apple Doesn't Fall Far and it’s about Crowley inheriting a cottage from his aunt and butting heads with Aziraphale the councillor who is in charge of knocking it down. And spoiler alert. They fall in love

What are your favourite top three fics you wrote this year?

The Apple Doesn't Fall Far - as above! 

Rating: E 

Wordcount: 58,135

It’s sugary sweet with enough light angst to create some nice drama. But it’s mainly cosy, low stakes, comfortable, contemporary British romance vibes. 

The Ecstasy of Eden

Rating: E

Wordcount: 28,303

5 times they used sex pollen, and the one time they didn't Through the Ages fic. Written for the High Sex Pollen Event. It is a fun romp through the ages with some surprising angst chapters that I absolutely love. They are silly piney fools. ALSO I got art made for it!

If we were

Rating: E

Wordcount: 3,362

In 1941 Aziraphale and Crowley imagine their life as humans.

This fic fell out of me almost fully formed. I was half asleep and began daydreaming fic (as you do) and by the time I got to my laptop, my fingers wrote it in basically a couple of hours. It is everything I love. Bittersweet, yearning, them being completely in love but unable to do anything about it, slow dancing, almost kisses and some spice!

What was your biggest pit of despair moment?

The Ecstacy of Eden was a slog at times. I had written chap one and three, but it took so long for me to get chap two into shape. I couldn’t work out what the Hell I was doing. Got beta feedback where they could tell I was clearly feeling really stuck after I wrote it because it was all a bit lacklustre. 

Almost totally gave up. I had a few: I’m never writing again, what’s the point? moments.

Somehow I pushed through and made it work. 

In a lot of ways, that was probably the moment I saw my writing improve the most. BUT IT WAS A HORRIBLE SLOG. Ugh. I wanted to say this because I know we all have them and it’s good to talk about it!

What have you learned?

Honestly, how to use commas better! I can already tell my grammar has improved a lot from when I first started. I don’t rely on epithets as much. I know what semi-colons are for (thanks @fishey-me!)

I am getting better at letting fics breathe. I feel like my background in marketing and comms makes me want to write very precisely and I am slowly learning to cast that off and take time setting scenes. I also found a few tools to help me outline better. 

Romancing the Beat by Gwen Hayes

Take Off Your Pants!: Outline Your Books for Faster, Better Writing by Libbie Hawker

They’ve been invaluable in teaching me what the Hell I’m doing. My main takeaways - work out your character's flaws and work out the theme of the story. 

I also learned what sex pollen is and then wrote a 30k fic about it.

What fic did you want to do but never made it off the ground?

Ugh, I have one in my drive called Crowley and Aziraphale go on holiday. I imagined it as a canon-compliant fic post S2 where they go on a sort of make-or-break holiday. I just liked the idea of Crowley being all grouchy in the sun and Aziraphale awkwardly trying to flirt over Sangria. ALSO only one bed! But it sort of sits in my drafts and I’ve not done much with it. 

Did you beta any fics? Any favs you want to shout out?

YES. Many fics!

But I think I’ll have to give my biggest shout-out to @kneelbeforeyourdogbabylon for Sins of Knowledge! I’ve help beta more than 100k of that (wow) and it’s a wild ride. Go check it out. 

What three fics have you read this year that you love?

Listen I have tons and tons I’d love to recommend, but I am going to whittle it down!

First up it has to be @happynachohologram who surprised me on my birthday with not only their first ever fic, but basically one of the best South Downs retirement fics ever. I still think about it. It’s under 2k and it’s absolutely beautiful. 

The Best Part by @happynachohologram

Rating: E

Wordcount: 1,702

A throwaway comment from Aziraphale sets Crowley wondering about the best parts of retirement.

-

UGH, next up @gaiaseyes451 This fic changed me. I don’t know if I’ve ever been more hooked while being emotionally devastated as this fic. Mind the tags but it’s wonderful.

A Little Life by @gaiaseyes451

Rating: E

Wordcount: 71,624

When Professor of Botany Anthony Crowley met bookshop owner Ezra Fell one November afternoon both knew their lives had irrevocably changed. From that moment forward, Anthony and Ezra’s existence was intertwined. Their story was written in the moments and memories they created as they moved through life’s chapters of coming together, building a family and facing the challenges of being human. This is a story of unconditional love and the joy and humour, obstacles and grief that inevitably come with choosing the same person, day after day, over and over and over again.

-

Gorgeous pine-scented Crowley and one of the best premises I’ve read in a while. I know most people must have read this but if you haven’t you’re in for such a treat!

Stuck on Me by @zin-lynn-c

Rating: E

Wordcount: 56,538

After a drunken handfasting ceremony goes awry, Crowley and Aziraphale find themselves magically bound to be touching at all times. In order to set the situation to rights, they must embark on a multi-day journey to seek help from the last true witch in England.

What ideas are percolating for next year?

I think my next longfic is probably going to be a road trip with college-aged Az and Crowley. The characters keep yelling at me in my head, so I think they want to be written. So far Crowley is an activist punk who needs a lift back to London after graduation and Aziraphale is a posh boy who represents everything Crowley stands against.

Animosity to lovers my beloved!

It’s probably set in the 90s so no one has a mobile phone and Crowley can be obnoxious with a box of cassettes playing Az a bunch of bebop he pretends to hate. I have a scene of Crowley taking Aziraphale to his first gay bar in my head that I can’t get rid of, so I probably need to write it. 

Who do you want to thank?

OMG all of @goodomensafterdark for giving us a platform and being a lovely bunch of pocket pals! I want to give A BIG shoutout to @happynachohologram for letting me yell all my insecurities at you and for always screeching when I send them pictures of Crowley and Aziraphale holding hands in the South Downs. 

And to @kneelbeforeyourdogbabylon for agreeing to beta my 50k longfic! Pretty sure it would never have been published if it wasn’t for you two. 

And @doonarose for organising the madness of the original CYOA!

Anyone in my tags feel free to join in or in fact anyone at all. I'll tag a few more below. Tag, answer any Qs that suit and play along!

@adverbian @isiaiowin @onedappercat @angie-words @brenna

[curseofdelos]

I was rereading the 'should we let Nico suffocate in a jar' scene, and I was struck by Hazel's relationship with Jason in this scene and in this paragraph in particular:

Because Hazel and Jason WERE friends pre-canon!! In TLH, when Jason gets his memories back, Hazel is one of the characters he lists as someone he was friends with back in Camp Jupiter. Then, in SoN, Hazel is among the campers who looked up to Jason as a leader - both as a praetor and the former leader of the fifth cohort - and was eager to get him back.

...But then, in this scene, he doubts that Nico is trustworthy and questions if rescuing him is the best course of action.

What's interesting too is Hazel, in SoN, also doubted how trustworthy Nico was. He was keeping things from her and was annoyingly cryptic, and this was something that frustrated her. However, the second Nico is in serious danger, she sets all her reservations about him aside and rescuing him becomes her primary goal. (Rick's writing can be so inconsistent sometimes that I'm not confident this was intentional, but my interpretation of this is that Hazel was so afraid of losing Nico that she forgave him for all the lies, half-truths, etc. Petty squabbles don't seem important in the face of potential tragedy.)

Hazel approaches the "should we rescue Nico" debate from the perspective of someone at risk of losing her brother. Nico is the only family she has left, and the only demigod who can relate to her struggles of being a kid from the 30s/40s transplanted into the modern day. She loves and cares about him. Her own feelings and her own relationships take priority over the quest. It doesn't matter to her that they're walking into a trap; she'll do whatever it takes to get her brother back.

Jason, on the other hand, is approaching the debate from the perspective of a soldier. His biggest concern is whether or not Nico is someone they can trust, and if he's worth risking their lives (and the quest and the world) to save.

Jason has no personal relationship with Nico at this point and no reason to trust him - especially considering Nico was travelling between both camps and said nothing to him during those several months Jason lived at CHB, and especially considering the number of times he's lied to and betrayed Percy over the years. Yes, the reasoning behind Nico's actions are sympathetic and valid, and the decision to keep secrets was out of his hands to a certain extent, but Jason's (and Percy's) hurt and distrust of him is valid too. WE know Nico can be trusted, but it makes sense that Jason doesn't given his experience with him.

Jason has been at Camp Jupiter since he was a literal toddler. The Roman legion is the only life he knows. He was born and raised to be a weapon for the gods. His entire story happens precisely because Hera/Juno wanted a champion. He was moulded to be the kind of person who follows the gods unquestioningly, and at this point in the series, he's only beginning to break out of that mentality (hence why him standing up to Zeus later in BoO is such a big moment for him). He prioritises the quest over Hazel's feelings because as a Roman leader, he was taught to prioritise the quest over all else.

And it's so interesting to me the way that this difference in opinion - Hazel prioritising Nico's life over the quest VS Jason prioritising the quest over Nico's life - ultimately leads to a fracture in their relationship and completely alters the way Hazel views Jason for the rest of HoO. In Jason's defence, he does apologise to Hazel fairly soon after this moment, but it's interesting to me that in HoH she's still clearly (and understandably!) bitter about the position he chose to take - to the point she wonders if Jason would abandon her too if he deemed it necessary for the quest - and in a way she isn't bitter towards Leo (iirc) despite him making the exact same points.

Because Jason was her friend. She looked up to and respected him. When he disappeared, she was among those who missed him and wanted him to come back. He was a fair, good, and just leader, so she assumed he would be on her side and fight for what she believed was right, but he isn't and he doesn't. When the time comes for Jason to support Hazel in rescuing someone important to her - in much the same way she supported his rescue - he fails her. He doesn't take her feelings or her trust in Nico into consideration. He weighs the cost-benefit analysis in his head, and isn't sure rescuing her brother is worth potentially walking into a trap.

And Hazel is hurt. Who wouldn't be? And Jason does try to make things right by apologising, but not immediately agreeing to stop your friend's brother from suffocating to death in a jar is a difficult argument to bounce back from.

idk. The way their different approaches to the "should we rescue Nico" debate causes their friendship to fall apart in this scene is so interesting to me <3

[armageddon-generation]

The Bear Season 3 is a bridge season that feels weird on purpose, but also has some big problems: A review/ramble

Season 3 is clearly a bridge season, and suffers from having been written & shot alongside season 4. As a result, unlike the seasons 1 & 2, it doesn’t feel like a distinctive or complete chapter of the restaurant’s life. Just half of one.

This is partly because there’s no ‘end-goal’ like in S2, or clear progression/visible improvement to the restaraunt like in S1. Season 3 is about stagnation. Most of its storylines are left unresolved- the review, Sydney’s job offer, Tiff & Frank’s wedding, Marcus being inspired by his mother’s death, Tina and the dying farmer’s market, Carmy’s conflicts with both Claire and Ritchie. All these threads will roll into Season 4, and Season 3 suffers from that.

PACING, FLASHBACKS AND TONE: FORM REFLECTING FUNCTION

HOWEVER. This being a ‘bridge’, character-focused season isn’t inherently bad. Individual episodes of The Bear still tear when they want to. Episodes 1, 2, & 3 are a very strong setup for the season and establish good momentum. Episodes 6 & 8 are fantastic character pieces, and 8 in particular made me bawl. Even the finale, though bogged down by masturbatory celebrity chef cameos, was a strong episode.

The problem is all the stuff in-between. The actual day-to-day running of the restaurant feels hollow and empty now. There’s a distance between the characters and it feels like they don’t interact as a group anywhere near as much.

Part of this is absolutely deliberate. People joke about S3 'method acting' its way into bad reviews to reflect the restaraunt, but losing steam and the connections between characters is genuinely a formal reflection of the kitchen crew's moods, as the day-to-day grind of running the restaurant wears them down.

The use of flashbacks in 3x1 is excellent, but Season 3 quickly becomes way over-reliant on them (episode 9 especially, oh my god). Again, this feels like a conscious choice to reflect Carmy’s state of inertia/the fact he’s perpetually trapped in the past. It makes sense, but that doesn’t give the show a pass for being boring, and 3x9 was the first time I’ve ever felt genuinely bored by this show.  

FUCK THE FAKS & NEGLECTING POC CHARACTERS

My other problems are much more clearly the fault of the show; I do not give a flying fuck about the Faks. Neil is cute in small doses. The brothers are great as soundboards for other characters; Theo getting Sweeps to talk about his backstory in baseball, the brothers comforting Donna at the end of 3x8 Ice Chips, or the haunting argument finally forcing Carmy to talk about Claire.

But on their own? When they’re just bouncing off each-other? These guys aren't half as funny as the show seems to think they are. And their scenes drag on so long. For example, the B-plot of 3x5 Computer wastes half of an otherwise strong episode with pointless fucking around, propped up by a pointless celebrity cameo. I do not Give. A. Fuck about haunting, Mr. Cena, why the fuck are you here.

The aggravating time-wasting is made worse by The Bear continuing to neglect and underuse its POC characters. This is the second season in a row where I’ve felt Syd only got the bullet-points of an arc. She is the LEADING LADY. Ayo is now the show’s biggest breakout star. USE HER.

I really enjoyed Tina's focus episode, but unlike Forks and Honeydew last season it doesn't move the plot forward, and unlike Fishes the flashbacks don't contextualize Tina''s actions in the present because she's barely doing anything in the present, despite the show setting up her struggles in the kitchen early in the season.

Meanwhile, Ebra got crumbs again and Sweeps got a single scene, which is tragically at least better than he had last year.

Marcus’ arc this year is a fascinating microcosm for the show’s themes, but it barely gets a second to breathe because we have to cram in another five minutes of the Fak brothers arguing about that time Neil got taped into a cardboard box. It’s ridiculous. And then they showcase Nat being all protective of Marcus in an episode he’s barely in, when she barely interacts with him. It feels unearned & disingenuous, using Marcus as a prop for a Hell Yeah gotcha moment.

I liked Josh Harnett though, that casting had purpose, and both Chef Terry and Luca were used excellently.

CAMEOS

The surprise celebrity cameos this year felt distracting and indulgent in a way last year’s didn’t. In Fishes the slew of cameos were a dramatic tool meant to disorient the viewer. This year, John Cena is here to distract you from how pointless this B-plot is, and we've brought in a bunch of famous chefs to tell you direct-to-camera why cooking and the service industry are so important.

The chefs in particular are bizzare after season 1 spent most of its time telling us how evil and toxic the fine dining industry is. But now it's actually just the fault of a few bad apples, and these guys are really rad actually?

CLAIRE

Much has been said about how Claire was an underwritten archetype for Carmy to project onto. Now, I don’t much give a fuck about shipping in this show, but it’s clear Claire & Carmy’s romance didn’t connect with most people. It felt hollow. At the time, I thought this was deliberate, like the tone and flashbacks this season; Claire’s writing reflected Carmy’s perception of her as a saintlike childhood daydream who could deliver him from all the stresses of his life.

But this season, not only does the show refuse to let Claire go, it doubles down on objectifying her as a prop for Carmy’s self-loathing, trapped in his memory.

Again, this might work thematically if I knew Claire as a person, or was at all invested in their romance, but I don't and I’m not. As it stands, the multiple extended flashbacks with Claire feel like futile attempts to plug the holes in Season 2's weakest storyline, and drag their episodes down. If we’re supposed to root for Carmy to find happiness outside the kitchen, this is having the opposite effect, and it’s made worse by it all being left unresolved by the finale.

Either do something with this character or move on, because right now every time Claire appears I clock out emotionally, and that’s not her fault, it’s the way the show treats her.

CARMY THE ASSHOLE

All this contributes to an overriding problem that I again think is deliberate, but risky; Carmy isn’t likeable this season. He causes his conflicts with Ritchie and Syd, to whom he has passed down his generational trauma. Carmy's menu is the biggest thing dragging the Bear into bankruptcy. Carmy has stopped working to resolve his familial trauma like in seasons 1 & 2, just as Nat starts making headway. He functionally doesn’t exist outside the kitchen, entirely preoccupied with the past & a girl the audience doesn’t care about.

Unlike previous seasons, the few times Carmy is called out for his bad behaviour he doesn’t make much effort to listen or improve. Again, I get that this is the point. Carmy is on a low, self-destructive ebb, and hopefully when things start resolving in season 4 he’ll snap out of it. But him dragging the show down with him has consequences.

EPISODE COUNT & FINAL THOUGHTS

A lot of people are saying that S3 only had enough plot for 2-3 episodes, and while I think that’s disingenuous- The Bear has always been a character-focused, vibes-first show- I do think it should've returned to the 8-episode count of season 1. You can consolidate the same amount of ‘plot development’ into fewer episodes while maintaining the deliberate sense of inertia. Cut back on the Faks and flashbacks to give more time to the kitchen crew, and many of the complaints would disappear.

Anyway, all this to say that The Bear season 3 is not Bad like some are saying, but it is a step down from its first two seasons. It feels like it’s got lost in its own head and lost a part of itself along the way, and while a lot of that is deliberate- formally reflecting Carmy’s internal conflict- it exacerbates existing problems (underwritten POC, Claire) and creates several new ones (celeb cameos, overusing flashbacks, unresolved plotlines) previous seasons were able to sidestep.

[higuchisora]

No one has any clue what the fuck the Firelights actually Do so I'm gonna dump my headcanon here as the official lore in continuation of my saga of Zaun headcanons.

The Firelights are basically like a nonprofit organization with a Robin Hood twist. Their mission is to be a stabilizing force in Zaun, trying to do whatever they can to take care of both each other and their people. Since they aren't an actual nonprofit, and Piltover doesn't give a damn about human rights, this is where the Robin Hood stuff comes in.

They have to gain their resources (food, water, medicine, etc.) Via theft. So they tend to rob Piltie ships. They try to avoid the foreign ones just to lower the risk of backlash (the foreign governments putting pressure on Piltover to crack down on them, etc.), but they'll do what they believe is necessary to get supplies (and also sometimes mistakes just happen).

They're not above violence, but they do try not to kill people just because they know it can get messy with Piltover if they do. That being said, I believe they probably have killed a few, at the very least on accident. Fights can be brutal, especially if your opponent isn't holding back like you are.

Another thing: their masks aren't just to hide their identities from their enemies. The reality is, things can happen. If they started walking around bare-faced in Zaun, it would be easy for other Zaunites to identify them and possibly give them up (whether to Silco or enforcers or whoever). So they wear them til they're back in their hideout.

The Firelights try not to operate in Zaun beyond distributing supplies or fighting Silco. This is to both prevent their identities being leaked and because they never want to be seen as a "policing" force in their own home. The last thing Ekko wants is to see his own people as "others" or "suspects". Yes, the Firelights are his family, so he seeks to protect them. But Zaun is his home, the Zaunites are his people. He IS a Zaunite, just as all the Firelights are. And he never wants any of them to forget that.

As for who he DOES fight in Zaun: in season 1, Silco is at the top of that list. However, I feel like they probably have other enemies too, even if Silco is the biggest fish (as de facto leader of Zaun at the time). The Firelights have been around (by act 2 s1) for seemingly a few years at that point. It's entirely believable they'd ruffle some feathers along the way. Perhaps a few gang leaders/drug lords (the type to either follow Silco or be desperate to usurp him) who think taking the Firelights out would be the next step towards their goals. Other enemies might include of Silco's allied chembarons and anyone who tries to attack their deliveries.

Distribution of supplies: after robbing a Piltie ship, they'd take stock of whatever they got and send anything they can spare to a connection of theirs in the rest of Zaun. I'd imagine (since they don't seem to have hospitals) to an orphanage of some kind. So, food, clothes, medical supplies, etc. Basically anything a trading ship might have that would be useful to people.

If they snag loot that happens to not be immediately useful (nonessentials like jewelry or knick-knacks or something) they'll either try to repurpose/upcycle it or they'll sell it and use the money to either buy those supplies or put towards projects (such as building tech) to help their mission.

My musings are only half fleshed out and I'm really expanding most of this on the fly as I write it. But I do like to explore the possibility that they're not as sunshine and rainbows as they might seem in their rare moments in canon (and in my post so far).

Less sunny ideas under the cut:

I saw a clip from s1 the other day of a scene that I totally forgot about. When Caitlyn first tells Ekko about the Hexcore, his first thought is about what they (he) can do with it. Namely, as a weapon. Against Silco.

And yes, his traumatizing childhood punctuated by Silco basically coming in and fucking his life up out of nowhere DOES mean it makes sense that Silco is Enemy Number One in Ekko's eyes, arguably even more than Piltover. (Because Piltover ruined the world around him, but Silco might as well have personally walked in and shot everyone he loves right in front of him. Silco IS the villain of Ekko's story, arguably more than anyone else). THAT BEING SAID, he's expressed anti-Piltover sentiments since basically the first time we meet him. So what if Silco telling Marcus to paint the Firelights as terrorists... isn't entirely baseless?

When I say terrorists of course, I really only mean to Piltover. Actual terrorists exist, but many revolutionaries are also painted as terrorists. Silco saying this and giving the bomb as "evidence" isn't just him "being evil", it MAKES SENSE because that's probably already what Piltover would think even without the fake evidence. So what if the Firelights WERE planning to attack Piltover at some point?

Maybe not the same way Silco was. At the end of the day, his whole thing is being calculating (he's also got more life experience than Ekko, who's the same age as his daughter). So Silco definitely thought through Zaun's independence plan waayyy more than Ekko has (whether or not the plan is a good one is notwithstanding, stay focused here). So maybe the Firelights kinda have this plan to like. Destroy Piltover.

Not with bombs, but to be fair, Ekko IS a smart techy guy. He's not into grenades like Jinx, but he did make those hoverboards. He designed the fans to be able to withstand the thick air in Zaun. So what if he's generally just really familiar with the ventilation system? What if he was planning on doing something similar to what happened in Season 2 (redirecting the air to Piltover), but like, worse? Maybe he'd make it so the air system was permanently pushing the Grey into Topside, and maybe he even wanted to put something else in it? Give them a taste of their own chemical warfare? It would take years to do, and might be his end goal, but really, what else would someone who's been radicalized by oppression, who's filled with all this pain and anger, who has so much innovative skill - what else would someone like that do? Lay down and take it? Considering he made the Firelights... I don't think so.

Obviously I don't think he was actually planning on doing this; I don't think they thought him or the Firelights through at all. But he's expressed interest in violence before, and he's also anti-Piltover, so I figure he has to do SOMETHING with his anger (and also as much as I love him, being that squeaky clean and perfect of a character is.... suspicious to me. Or at least not as interesting. You can't live in a world so unforgiving and come out unstained, especially with all that- understandable- anger in him). He clearly wants peace, in whatever way he can (hence he wanted to give the Hexcore to the council himself; likely to bargain for benefits for Zaun). He's hopeful, but I don't think he's necessarily naive about it. He knows that they're most likely never going to just hand it to them- or else they would've done that already. So just in case, he has a plan to take it for himself.

[firewalkwithmme]

⋆𐙚₊˚⊹♡ – productivity tips and goals

all the time i find myself feeling unmotivated and unfocused, and my goal of the year is to improve my productivity in order to keep up my academics and to improve overall mental health. some reminders and actions I am implementing into my daily life to achieve these goals include:

౨ৎ don't use your phone as soon as you wake up. i have a habit of doing this to help me wake up, but i feel much more refreshed as i start my day without prolonged use of my phone.

౨ৎ read in the mornings. i like to start my day in a relaxing way, and one of the best ways is to wake up early to have a cup of tea or coffee while reading a book. i know this doesn't work for everyone as there are many people who prefer to start their day as soon as they wake up, but personally, this is one of the best things for me as it also allows me to keep on top of my reading goals!

౨ৎ do the hardest task first. i have a tendency to put off the items on my to-do list that are the most daunting or the ones i'm least excited about. doing those tasks first is so so helpful, because not only is your mind fresh and ready to tackle harder things at the start of the day, but the rest of the day is so much more enjoyable knowing that the biggest item on your to-do list has been checked off already.

౨ৎ schedule your study time and take breaks. this is something that i want to start doing more, as i find it very helpful when i do. i like to break up my day into short periods designated to certain tasks or assignments. i find my focus starts to drop off after about an hour and a half, so it's great to take short breaks in between sessions. often, the pomodoro method is useful for me.

౨ৎ study in different areas. i find i like a change of scenery when i move from one task to another, because i can't sit still for long. i like to alternate between my desk, my living room, the different libraries on campus, and a few cafes in my area. it's also great when your study areas are in different locations, because a short walk and some fresh air can serve as a lovely break.

౨ৎ leave your phone in another room while you study. my phone distracts me to absolutely absurd amounts, and it's no secret that i'm addicted to it. it really is those damn phones. this is something i need to work on more, leaving my phone away from my workspace so i am less distracted. it's also refreshing to go the extra step and leave your phone at home when going out if you can - i've done this a few times and want to try doing it more this year.

౨ৎ something is always better than nothing. this is a saying i like to use on particularly hard days when i struggle to get anything done. it's just a small reminder that even if you have 5 things on your list and you're feeling overwhelmed and frozen (executive disfunction, anyone?) that even if you complete one page of a fifteen page reading, that's still one less page that you have to read tomorrow and it is still an accomplishment.

౨ৎ go to your damn classes. it's so cold outside right now. walking to an 8:30 am lecture in the wind and snow sounds like the worst possible thing that could ever happen. self-discipline is possibly one of my worst skills at the moment, so i get it. but just go, because the more you skip the more it becomes a habit (speaking from experience). going and getting the lecture over with is relieving, and it helps you stay caught up in the course. go to class!

in 2025, i am incorporating these into my day-to-day study routine in the interest of becoming more productive and more content!

[arenabreadandbiscuits]

Writer In Need! - Writing & Art Commissions Available, Please Read The Whole Post And Vote To Help Me!

My mom has been admitted into the hospital today.

Hey guys, serious post so please treat it as such but genuinely I need commissions. I'm currently at the hospital with my mom and I won't bore any of you anymore with the many issues I have but commissions would be both helpful on her to help pay for things that's are more low priority while bigger money is dealt for bigger things. Nonetheless my point is commissions are open. I'll draw but pieces take longer but I am happy to do Hazbin Hotel, Demon Slayer, and various OCS no matter where they're from so please just ask me.

Hazbin is my biggest fandom right now so I prefer working in that fandom but I can hear others out. I'm a part of quite a few.

Though I can draw I do prefer more writing commissions over other things so please ask for those. At the top of my page it mentions what I will and won't do so please refer to it but I'll write cc x cc, OC x cc, OC x OC, angst, smut, fluff, 3k, 6k, 10k words... Just please look at my account and read everything before commissioning ANYTHING.

I will only take payment as Cash app, Chime, and/or Venmo but I'd really just like to have the money for peace of mind. Don't pm me with offers of other things... 'sugar daddy' looking for a baby desperate for help? Please stay away from me. I ONLY want genuine commissioners and if you choose to be one I will talk to you fully about your commission to make sure I get all the right info and actually start your story if you send full/half pay.

It's just... I'm going through so much. I hate having to ask the Internet for help because sometimes people don't listen and offer times they don't care but bless any soul out there who reads this and bless your life if you decide to actually commission me in this time of need.

I'm putting a poll for interaction to hopefully actually get commissioners. I usually beg people who aren't serious to not vote but sometimes people enjoy getting others hopes up so I know most likely it'll still occur but I have to try. I think maybe months ago I made a goal to see if I could reach 400 dollars just from commissions. It'll take work but work that I will and have to accept.

Here's some pictures of me currently at the hospital because I know people don't really listen to these things when they don't trust them and that's smart and completely fair.

I have videos as well but here's just a couple. Once again I'm looking for serious commissions. Want a 4k, 5k, 8k(?!) story of your OC smashing Lucifer I'll do it just please give me your money. I'm desperate and my mentally is trying to keep stable so please gods and goddesses let people see and be serious about this post like I'm begging for them to be.

Here's the poll

Please don't vote if you aren't going to do one of these two things. I'm in genuine need of help again and I'm hoping this works this time because it hasn't in a while now.. I have many examples of writing on this account though I'm aware I need to make another master list..

I'm also more than happy to write and/do art for:

Obey Me

The Arcana

Stardew Valley

Harvest Town

Dislyte (specifically writing since I haven't practiced my art style with them)

Demon Slayer

Tokyo Revengers

Possibly more...

If you've voted or you're a commissioner looking to give me work, thank you. I'm happy you're here and hopefully.. you enjoy your stay here while you have it. Honestly if I don't get commissions after this post I just honestly don't know what I can do.

[liulith]

Why Vox’ one-sided psychosexual obsession with Alastor is PERFECT for a #radiostatic QPR

This fanwork is an edited version of a comment I wrote for a fic from the 666: Live on Air! Series by @prince-liest You don’t need to know the fic to understand it, though! Just keep in mind that those are headcanons based on a hypothetical established relationship between Alastor and Vox, in which Vox’s obsession for Alastor has changed flavors from hatred to love, and Alastor doesn’t return his feelings but finds his pathetic obsession entertaining, flattering and somewhat cute. (Also, this doesn’t address the past friendship (?) between them that is being hinted at by the photo in S1 finale, since we have zero context for that at the moment)

Why Vox is Like That

My headcanon is that Vox has always been the type to strive for power and recognition, always reaching for the top of the heap. The problem is that he’s too good at it.

Once he gets into whatever position of power he wanted, he gets bored because what he truly likes is fighting his way to the top. Whatever comes after can be enjoyable but it never compares to the “fight” itself – and thus Vox is always left unsatisfied, setting new goals to become even more powerful because *surely*, that’s what will finally bring him the sense of fulfillment he wants.

(We can kinda see it in his introduction. The man looks bored to tears before Alastor waltzes back into his life and turns him into a manic mess! Here’s a tumblr post about it)

This is precisely why I think Hell gave Vox hypnosis powers: the same reason it gave Alastor the body of a prey animal. It’s torture! With those powers, Vox can get almost anything he wants and he hates it. On Earth, people were a challenge; not everyone can be bought, and he had to rely on his skills.

Sure, he still has those skills in Hell; but in Hell, where every sinner is a potential enemy and the exorcists come down once a year, power is key to his survival and he has to take any victory he can get; meaning, he’ll never be able to *not* use his hypnosis powers, not as long as he wants to survive, even if that makes the fight to the top lose its appeal.

[Insert non-existent tangent on how Val not being affected by the hypnosis – because he’s half blind – is a key factor in Vox’ attraction to him]

Why Vox can’t NOT be obsessed with Alastor:

Alastor is powerful enough to resist his mind-control powers. Alastor can’t be swayed by Vox’ influence, his connections, his power, his money. In short, he’s a challenge. Vox needs to earn his attention, needs to work for it.

Thankfully for him, there *is* something Alastor is interested in: his genuine, unguarded, desperate self: the one that has a full manic episode/mental breakdown when he learns Alastor is back in town. The side of him he always hides under layers and layers of confidence, bravado and corporate talk!

And, deep down, that desperate side of him is exactly why he strives for power so hard in the first place. This man is full of insecurities and he NEEDS to be the biggest fish (shark) in the tank.

This means that Alastor is the embodiment of his deepest fears! He sees through all his bullshit, makes him lose all his composure, and is able to destroy him in EVERY WAY that matters. And yet, he doesn’t. Because, he tolerates (likes) him (in the context of this AU) just as he is, patheticness and all :3  I think there’s something very liberating about that.

Plus, Vox is a simp. He’s a manic sado-masochist who gets off on seeing Alastor humiliated and being humiliated himself, he wants Alastor helpless under his claws, wants Alastor to step on him and tear his heart out if that’s the only way Alastor would touch him, wants to have a cutesy dance-off with and make him laugh until his face hurts.

Oh Vox, we’re really in it now

He’s obsessed with Alastor and wants him in any way he can have him – and I think he’d be ready to give himself over to Alastor in any way Alastor wants to have him as well, because as long as it means Alastor wants something *from him*, it’s worth it. Even if it destroys him.

So, in a context where he has experienced Alastor being on friendly terms with him, where Alastor he has seen Alastor’s genuinely smiling at him and handing him the smallest crumb of affection, there’s just no turning back. Yes, he *could* still get off on seeing Alastor hurt because he’s deranged like that, but he doesn’t want it anymore.

or, well. the vicious, demonic part of him does still want to hurt him, but not exactly for the same reasons as before. It’s more of his caged beast of a heart wanting to make its predator pay for ruining it, in a desperate attempt to reduce his pain (at Alastor’s perceived “indifference”), to force Alastor to SEE him (not that he can. Lol).

BUT! he doesn’t need to do that now! Not when there is so much he would have to give up! So many other emotions, reactions he can get out of Alastor, knowing that HE did that!! To Alastor!! Him!! He cares so, so much. He’s the biggest shark in the tank but Alastor is the water around him. I suck at metaphors.

FML: Alastor edition

Hell turned Alastor into a prey animal because he has always felt like one. I think that at his core, he’s never going to get rid of his instinctual mistrust of others and fear of having any exposed vulnerability turned against him, because it’s part of a defense mechanism he developed since childhood.

He grew in Louisiana as a mixed-race* boy (*it's a bit more complicated than that since "Louisiana Creole" is not a racial designation but let's say Alastor is 100% mixed-race with a POC mom in this context), in an era of widespread lynching and racial segregation, at a time where millions of Black Americans migrated to the North because of the horrible socio-economic conditions of the South. Hell, he was alive during the great Mississippi flood of 1927 – the most destructive river flood of the entire history of the US – and he SAW the government refuse to prioritize the safety of the POC who were 75% of the population (literally; “The refugee camps also dealt with extreme racial inequality, as supplies and means of evacuation after flooding were given strictly to white citizens, with Blacks receiving only leftovers. African Americans also did not receive supplies without providing the name of their white employer or voucher from a white person. In order to fully exploit black labor, Blacks were frequently forced to work against their will, and were not permitted to leave the camps.”)

We don’t know if he was white-passing or visibly mixed, or if his white dad was in the picture, but since he only mentions his mother in canon I’m gonna run with the idea that she raised him alone. He seems to have had a positive relationship with her, which may have impacted his relationships with women in general. However, as a Creole woman, his mom couldn’t guarantee his safety in a society that was rigged against her.

So, he grew up learning the world was out to get him, that no one had his back, and that *performance* was key to his continued safety and survival. By performance, I mean learning how to act around white people to appear non-threatening/avoid being reduced to his ancestry/manage to “pass” well enough. But passing too well would also exclude him from his own community, as mixed people often are.

He also learned that despite his best efforts, no matter how competent he could become, some things would always be unfairly inaccessible to him for reasons outside of his control, and he couldn’t stand for it. The quiet rage, the humiliation, he took out on people by becoming a serial killer: permanently excluding “unworthy” people from society, and consuming them to assert his absolute dominance over them.

FML: Alastor edition. Why he would like Vox:

As the Radio Demon, Alastor has more power than he ever craved in his human life. He’s also vulnerable to the exorcists (Adam), to higher demonic powers (Lucifer, etc.) and was put on a leash by a mysterious character (Lilith? Eve? Roo?).

He’s more desperate for control than ever. It’s not that hard in his daily life, since most people (besides Husk and..? idk) don’t know he made a deal, and he can act like his usual confident self. However, it’s a control that is not unconditional, never absolute nor freely given.

And Vox? He’s hopelessly devoted to Alastor. Alastor has the upper hand on him in terms of raw power, but he also has the absolute psychological and emotional upper hand here. Vox is putting his heart and everything he has on the line in a way Alastor would never do in his worst nightmares. Vox is probably the only person who ever *let* Alastor have this much power over them, and Alastor loves to see it.

This, in turn, makes Alastor more willing to show his more vulnerable side, in a way he would never do if he were also in love with Vox imo. Because Vox is “only Vox” to him, and losing Vox wouldn’t destroy him the way it would if he returned Vox’ feelings, he’s paradoxically more likely to get closer to him. Being in love with Vox would make him too vulnerable and I honestly think that if he became that desperately attached, he would kill him in a fit of panicked narcissistic self-preservatory rage, to prove he’s stronger than this. He’d be too scared to have his feelings taken advantage of, and his brained is wired to kill anything that gets in his way.

Having Vox as a friend, however, is just perfect for him! Just the right amount of closeness and connection that enables him to give him his trust, without fearing he’s being blinded by feelings outside of his control. And knowing that Vox wants him *that* desperately but accepts Alastor’s inability and unwillingness to return this love, and is content to be given anything Alastor allows… Well, that’s heartwarming in its own right, isn’t it?

And THIS is why RadioStatic as a qpr/fucked up friendship with benefits has so much potential, to me! <3

[downtroddendeity]

@turnkeyassurance saw your tags and figured I'd take the opportunity to pause my descent into madness to give my more sober opinions on the Ni no Kuni franchise, lol. (Warning: I am a humongous JRPG nerd)

The NNK games are really odd ducks, quality-wise. You can call either one a good game or a bad game and call either one better than the other, and any combination of those opinions can be something I think is entirely justified. Both of them have things they do remarkably well and also serious, profound, deal-breaking flaws, and the really weird thing is that there's almost no overlap between those two lists for the two games. What clicks and doesn't about both of them is going to be deeply individual.

What Ni no Kuni: Wrath of the White Witch does, with resounding success, is Vibes. It sets out at every single step with the goal of being a playable Ghibli movie, and it sticks to that principle. It's all about beautiful, cel-shaded whimsy. It's a game for people who want to feel like they're wandering through the meadows in the movie version of Howl's Moving Castle. There are lots of puns, and you can befriend all the random encounter monsters and feed them ice cream.

But that's also its Achilles' heel: because it's dedicated entirely to imitation, it has trouble bringing things to the table that are really its own. It has the visual and narrative aesthetics of Hayao Miyazaki's films, but it doesn't have the raw emotion at the heart of them. And as a game, its mechanics combine the clunkiest features of menu-based combat and action RPGs, and while everything about the Pokemon-esque mechanics seems designed to encourage players to collect and experiment with them, the balancing turns attempting to do that into a miserable grindy nightmare.

The other problem is that it... isn't actually the first Ni no Kuni game. Wrath of the White Witch is, in fact, a remake of the Nintendo DS game Ni no Kuni: Dominion of the Dark Djinn, which was never released outside Japan. The reason for this is pretty easy to explain, because DDD had another gimmick besides its aesthetics: it came with a real-life physical copy of the wizard spellbook, and the player had to look things up in it and draw sigils on the DS touchscreen to cast spells. So, we've got a high-effort remake that had to completely cut the central mechanic... and which also expanded the plot so that the original main villain was no longer the primary antagonist. This results in a game with what is very clearly a final dungeon and very clearly a final boss and very clearly a resolution to the story, which suddenly has a completely different plot dropped on it like a fucking anvil that it expects you to be just as invested in even though it hasn't had anything like the same level of buildup.

And ironically, this is almost the exact opposite of the biggest problem with Ni no Kuni 2: Revenant Kingdom, a.k.a. the one with my new blorbo, the President of the United Union of Eagleland. 2 is an effort to try to cement an identity for the series that can be its own, rather than requiring them to depend indefinitely on borrowed Miyazaki nostalgia. It just has the teeny-tiny, itsy-bitsy problem that at some point in development it had a budget shortfall so bad that you can finish the game without ever realizing that there is a continent-sized crashed interdimensional spaceship on the world map.

This game has had a machete taken to it. Don't get me wrong, I genuinely respect the work they did to make what they could with what they had, but you can see the signs of massive scope cuts to literally every aspect of the game. The back half of the game has almost exclusively recycled enemy and environment assets; voice acting has been trimmed down to canned voice clips; the catboy protagonist's ears and tail are barely animated; one minigame was so inadequately playtested that a level 16 mission is massively harder than level 50 ones; and while whatever restructuring they had to do to the main plot still left the final version with a more solid and coherent central arc than WWW in my opinion, it also left a lot of truly gaping plot holes, like oh, I don't know, why the President of the United States got turned into a 19-year-old.

Literally, they just. Entirely forgot to explain that. Half the DLC is just the writers scrambling to fix stuff like that and add a bunch of character development that should have been in the base game.

However, despite all this, I personally enjoyed NNK2 more than NNK1 unironically, not just for Rolandposting reasons. Compared to the first one, it plays much more smoothly as a straight action RPG, and while it can't provide the same knock-your-socks-off aesthetic cohesion, to me it seemed a lot more heartfelt- that is, like a game that was made because people had a story they wanted to tell.

But, well, we wouldn't be here if it wasn't for the non-unironic reasons, because the story they really, genuinely wanted to tell was about a magical catboy growing up and learning to become a leader, and somehow, miraculously, they really thought that was the story I was here for too when they opened the game with the President of the United States being isekaied by Nuke-kun.

Sorry, guys, I have a crippling addiction to dramatic irony and my day job is tech work in local politics, you could not have more laser-targeted this at making me specifically laugh my ass off if you tried.

[genolover]

So I read @aughtpunk 's cotl forgiveness au in like 2 days and now I'm hyperfocusing on it. I just keep thinking of cute little things. Particularly between Shaun and kallamar. Aughtpunk probably shouldn't read this.

Like they have regular are-we-still-engaged chess matches. The first time kallamar wins, they regretfully tell the others the engagement is off. Most everyone is like, you were engaged?? How?? Since when?????? The next day they're engaged again. It great and not at all confusing. Pretty soon no one is sure if the engagement is even real or not. Don't ask kallamar, he's not 100% sure either. Like they play games to see who's responsible for the flowers or menu decisions but is it real? Half the group is sure it isn't until it's the night before the wedding and Holy shit this is actually happening wtf and Shaun is just so disappointed in them. Kallamar is too, right my love? Kallamar is like, yeah, I can't believe they doubted the seriousness of this situation. Internally he's screaming. Shaun also didn't think it was that serious but over time he got sick of people shit talking kallamar to his face so he was like, now I gotta marry him in the biggest most amazing wedding ever. I just gotta.

I also just like the idea that they would use games to settle most disagreements. They watch eachothers strategies and moods to figure out how serious they need to be. If it's a lighthearted thing then they joke the whole time and whoever wins, wins. Gg. If it's something more important to one than the other then they give a good game but let that person win since clearly this is a significant matter. If it's an important matter to both, they use the game as something of a distraction. I can't kill you for not understanding exactly where I'm coming from by magically reading my mind if I'm too busy trying to figure out if the move you just made is even legal. By the end of the match, whomever wins, it comes out as more of a compromise.

They do have this problem where if they don't have a clear goal for a game, it can escalate into terrible ends. Like Shaun makes a flirty double entendre about calamari, kallamar says something gross about cannibalism, suddenly its 3 am, they're in the kitchen with heket who is waaaay too happy about cooking some of her brother's flesh with the intention of giving it to his ex-fiancee to eat (shaun being grossed out by cannibalism made him lose), and questioning all of their life choices.

Oh and after wedding thought. Shaun asks narinder for a life flower (that what I've been calling them in my head). Narinder is grossed out but Shaun gives this whole speech about how they aren't gonna use it now, he just wants to show kallamar that he did notice that he wasnt sure how serious he was about the wedding but he is very serious about wanting to have this life together with him and growing their family together. Narinder does reluctantly give him a flower. Little while later kallamar asks for the same thing. His explanation is a little more based in logic. They've talked about children before and he's probably gonna be the one carrying them so it just makes sense for him to have the flower. Everyone is like aww they're gonna present these flowers to eachother and it's gonna be cute or something. Meanwhile kallamar is confirming that he and his husband aren't needed for anything else tonight and maybe the flower might work if brewed into a tea but eh it's better to not chance it and just. Fucking. Eats it. Right there. Infront of God (poor jake) and everybody. Did his husband see that? No, of course not. That would prevent any miscommunication drama. It's like, dude, did you guys plan on that or...? And kallamar is like, we've had some of the most important discussions about this already, I fail to see why we can't start trying now. And then he leaves to go spend his wedding with Shaun in private and now the whole family has no idea what to do with themselves. They did not need this information.

I also have thoughts for their kids. First set is twins. They are cute. They look like normal lambs just tinted blue. At first. They actually have tendrils they hide amongst their wool. They're also good at team hunting. If you see the both of them, it's safe. If you only see one, it's a distraction, turn around, you are being ambushed.

These are just fun little thoughts I had. Feel free to ignore me.

[eurothug4000]

INTERVIEW WITH SHIGENOBU MATSUYAMA - PRODUCER ON SILENT HILL THE ARCADE

I had the pleasure of interviewing Matsuyama-san, one of the producers on Silent Hill the Arcade! Here's what he had to say :)

Q - How did the idea for Silent Hill The Arcade come to be?

A - During the arcade boom of the 1990s and the 2000s, a desire was born to combine the unique worldview of the Silent Hill series - which was already a very strong IP console game-wise – with the haunted houses one might find in an amusement part. We wanted something that could provide an easy and pleasurable experience to an extremely varied range of customers… as in, the casual users. This is the idea that brought Silent Hill Arcade (SHA in short) to life. However, since our goal was to create a new kind of experience that could not be replicated anywhere else, we designed a game that could make the most effective use of the 5.1ch surround sound system, which was something that arcade games hadn’t adopted until that point, with a type of cabinet that could be somewhat isolated from the rest of the arcade via the use of curtains.

Q - Roughly how long did development for the game take?

A - At the time, the development cycle of an arcade game was so short it would be unimaginable today. The shortest one was around six months, the longest about one year and a half. I think SHA took us around one year and two months.

Q - What parts of development were most enjoyable for you?

A – Usually, arcade games are tested a certain number of times, both during development and just before launch in each and every country where their release has been scheduled (which, for SHA, meant Japan, the US, the UK, Italy, Spain, France, Hong Kong and Singapore). In order to keep the development budget for SHA as low as possible, however, I personally traveled alone to the US for the market testing, assembled the cabinet all by myself, repaired it when it was out of order, and stood next to it for days on end, pen and paper in my hand, ready to collect the players’ data. Game development, nearly 20 years ago, was very much an analog experience. It was also hard work, but when I look back, I have so many good memories of that time.

Q - Do you remember any kinds of ideas that you and the team wanted to include in the game, but didn’t in the end?

A – I’m sure this will sound obvious, since SHA was based on a pre-existing IP, but since the framework was pretty much already set when it came to characters and plot, we had to be extremely careful not to deviate from it so that we wouldn’t create inconsistencies. Personally, I would have loved to take the story in slightly wilder directions and include new and fresh ideas.

Q - I loved seeing so many locations from Silent Hill 3 and 4 make an appearance in the game! Was the team who worked on those two games involved in making any decisions for Silent Hill The Arcade?

A - We of course personally consulted select staff members of Konami, like for example Producer Yamaoka, with whom I had been acquainted with since before SHA. However, most development teams had a mix of internal and external members that changed pretty fluidly with each and every year, so there was no real collaboration between the various teams.

Q - What level of freedom were you given for creating this original story within the Silent Hill universe? Were you given any specific directives on what you could or could not integrate/use in the story?

A - If I have to express my personal point of view on the matter, however, should you compare the storyline for SHA with the timeline of the other games, you would indeed notice a few minor inconsistencies that we were not able to completely solve. That’s something I still have regrets about.

Q - Tell me about translating a traditional survival horror experience into the rail shooter genre and control style. What kind of considerations did you have to make for this?

A - The biggest challenge was by far to design a game system that could be as simple as possible, and to regulate the level of challenge in a way that felt balanced, because we didn't want to force complicated controls or an exceedingly high difficulty level on the casual arcade players. Moreover, there was another balance we had to strike perfectly: more specifically, the one between the aforementioned "haunted house" element - the one that was unique to SHA, with its sequences of terrifying events - and the thrilling playstyle that a rail shooter should provide to the player.

Q - As a final product, what are your personal thoughts on the game?

A - I think it had a state-of-the-art sound system, that the design of the cabinet, with its creepy-looking curtains, made people want to take a peek inside, and that the rail shooting system was simple and could be enjoyed by virtually everyone. I think we managed to combine these various elements with a one-of-a-kind worldview of Silent Hill in a way that was in my opinion pretty good! Of course, each and every member of the staff did their part, and I thank all of them wholeheartedly.

Q - Are you working on anything currently that you’d like me to mention?

A - Feel free to write whatever you prefer! If anything, I should thank you, since you allowed me to walk down the nostalgia lane and recall memories from almost 20 years ago that had been dimmed down by the passage of time. Thank you very much!

Shigenobu Matsuyama's site: shig.jp

[xxl4vend3rxx]

Meet Rei!

This is going to be my elongated introduction to my KNY Oc - Rei.

Over on my Pinterest (@L4vend3R_823) I have shown some art I've made for her, and I am currently working on an insert for her that will most likely be posted to Wattpad // Ao3 as they are what seems to be the most accessible to the people on my Pinterest that wanted to know more about her!

I'll attach some photos of her, then dive right into her introduction and analysis!

(All of these were my own work - Please do not repost // trace WITHOUT CREDIT OR PERMISSION - if you ask the answer is absolutely going to be yes, it's the principle of asking for permission that matters most to me!)

WARNING: SEVERE MANGA SPOILER IF YOU ARE AN ANIME ONLY!

#1 - Basic information:

Name: Reiko (Rei) Hamanaka.

Age: 16

Birthday: January seventh.

Sign: Capricorn.

Breathing style: Flame.

Crow name: Tadashi Hamanaka

Corps rank Kinoe

Species: Human // demon.

Demonic Presentation: Passive*

#2 - Physical Traits:

Eye colour: Purple.

Hair colour: Light brown.

Scars // marks: Slit scar car under right eye, scar on right forearm, large claw scar on left hip, bite scar on left shoulder, right ankle scratch scars.

Other noticeable features: Eyes always looking around // Longer outer lashes

Height: 166cm // 5'6" // 1.66M

Build: Lean // muscular.

Health status: Healthy // Heightened healing factor due to her demon half, but she does scar if she heals the would too suddenly and // or has lost a lot of blood - but if its a small scrape or cut it can be healed with no traces of its existence in a matter of moments // she tends not to let herself rest as long as she should.

#3 - Personality // Facts:

Personality type: ENFJ

Motivation: To get a calm life for her found family to enjoy - no demons, no struggle. However she does still want to have a goal in her life even after they kill all demons, as it gives her a sense of purpose and something to work toward.

Biggest fear: To succumb to her demonic half - or worse hurt someone she loves. And vice versa; if any of them were to be turned and she would have to kill them, but she doesn't have it in her, not to have the people she loves die by her blade.

General demeanour: Approachable, loyal, dependable (However, once she is angered she is hard to calm.

Skills // Hobbies: Swordsmanship // Stamina // Singing // Cooking // Playing piano // Reading.

Positive traits - And their downsides: Independent - Will not ask for help // Selfless - no regard for her own safety or even survival // Strong moral compass - stubborn to a fault.

Complexes: Inferiority // Saviour // intense survivor's guilt

Best memories: Her first kiss // Getting her blade to change colours // Killing an upper moon for the first time in 100 years // Finalising an Engagement

Worst memories: Loosing her brother // Failing to save Kana** // Loosing bonds with family and friends because of her simply existing // Her trial // The twisted dream from the Mugen Train // Hearing Tanjiro had been turned into a demon.

Most defining moment: She was presumed dead, but rushed to aid her comrades in battle against their best friend was turned, facing her deepest fear, all while having just lost the love of her life, and succeeding to do so.

Habits: Touching at her pendant // Pulling at the hem of her haori // Playing with her hair // Raising hands to her mouth if she is shocked // Lashes fluttering if she is embarrassed or flustered // Clasping her nose bridge if she is thinking, frustrated or stressed.

Places of residence: Initially the place she was raised by her birth mother for nearly a year, before she was abandoned to the Hamanaka household, where she was given her name // Then the Rengoku residence till she left to join the Kamado siblings on their missions, where she never had a set place to live as she was always on the move and often setting up camps for the night // The Butterfly Mansion became a go-to spot for short periods of rest // and from the early beginning of the entertainment district arc, she and Senjuro resided in the Uzui mansion.

*I have a headcannon about this that you'll see on my other account that this will be reposted to xx

** Kana was a girl from the final selection that Rei and Genya fought alongside against a demon // that gave her life to shield Rei and Genya. Rei couldn’t save her and it burdens her to this day.

Okay basic summary:

It was inevitably realised that Rei was a half demon, even she was not aware of this until her and Tanjiro met Tamayo in Asakusa. She was trialled with Nezuko and given consent to stay as member of the corps, but that she would most likely not progress to a rank higher than Kinoe. Clearly, Shinjuro was furious with this, and when Rei came home for Kyojuro's funeral, for he first time in he best part of a year, he confronted her and became physically violent. Rei left with Senjuro and the two of them had been residing in Uzui's mansion since.

And that's all so far!! Some things may change over time as I inevitably make changes and tweaks to either her design or character xx

[merilaurecus]

SO I ACCIDENTALLY MADE UP A BESTIE FOR MY TAV™️ AND THEY HAVE A BACKSTORY ON HOW THEY MET

Meet Ineth, M'eril's best friend (her real name is Maria but she made one up and it grew on her).

She's from our world but got yeeted into Faerûn six years prior to the events of the game and met M'eril a year after that. Her hair (dyed black) stayed the same because the Weave got a bluescreen when she got into Faerûn. The second she noticed M'eril is on the nautiloid too she was, despite the situation, happy. M'eril has no clue she's not from Faerûn (perception checks aren't his speciality to say the least).

She's a gloomstalker ranger, although she wishes she could learn magic (no, she won't romance Gale because he canonically ends up with M'eril). But she'll learn from Gale on the road.

Ineth worships Tymora (because of the luck she had while travelling alone; her leaving Elturel right before it got whooped into Avernus being the biggest example). She's also afraid of horses, given that she'll fall for Zevlor, a Hellrider, she'll have to overcome this one 😅 so she has seen him before but not for a long time and rather from the distance, but she already admired his horse riding skills (and was scared of the beast anyway).

Now, off to the story ✨

@preciouslittlebhaalbae I finally have a good established isekai come look ♥️

The temple seemed to have been left for a long time. Nature began to reclaim its territory with tree roots sprouting everywhere and flowers blooming from what appeared to be most randomly chosen places. Structure of the building was getting weaker but not dangerous to anyone just yet.

M’eril sat down in front of the fire. That was his place for the night and his vigil. A silent mission he chose. Or more likely Ancients did, he corrected himself in his thoughts. Half-elf looked around, drinking the sight in. How harmonic it looked. Nature and civilization met and clashed, the remains of the temple being the living witness, every brick and every stone watching these changes.

He only wondered who was worshipped here or what happened that made the people leave it. He was in awe but part of his mind kept asking questions. A temple in the middle of the deep part of the forest. That puzzled him, but he had a mission.

This was supposed to be a sleepless night. Late night dinner made of rations he packed earlier and a cup of coffee to keep him awake. He didn't even want to think of falling into trance. Being only a half-elf his ability to trance like a full-blooded elf was surprising to everyone. Not a single time in his life has he experienced a dream nor a nightmare. He could only wonder how it felt while listening to his fellow paladins without such ability. It was quite fascinating but sometimes terrifying when he heard some of his friends waking up screaming in the middle of the night. He never dared to leave their side until dawn, even if they managed to get back into more peaceful slumber. He’d  simply lay next to them and trance, keeping in mind what happened earlier and remembering to watch over that person.

But now he was alone. It was his goal to keep vigil here. Surrounded by nature and shielded by the light of the fire, now dancing on the walls.

He kept focused on the flames and tenets of his oath.

What he didn't expect was a loud thud in another room. Sounded like a body has hit the ground.

M'eril quickly stood up and despite being able to see in the dark used a light spell. Never too much caution, his mother used to tell him.

Room was next to the chamber he occupied and was much smaller. He looked around and found the source of the noise.

A human woman was laying on the floor, if not for the thud he'd think she was asleep. Now he wasn't sure if she was asleep or unconscious. She looked rather young, probably in her twenties, and small, but that could be said about many people he met in his life. It was human genes that manifested in a major part of his appearance, the only exceptions being his golden eyes, pointed ears and delicate facial features. Other than that he was tall, massive and muscular, much like his father. But the woman in front of him seemed very delicate. Giving up on the spell he freed his other hand and lifted her up, she was light like a feather.

He looked around.

- An adventurer with no backpack? Huh, that's a novelty - he said to himself, looking around once again.

He put her down next to the fire and then noticed that she was definitely unconscious. She was very thin, pale and in the cold spring night she was freezing, her lips being already in the shade of purple rather than the usual pink. He also noticed small wounds on her hand, due to her being in full leather armour he couldn't see much more and if there's anything to heal so he focused on warming her up first.

Besides from her petite frame he noticed her black hair, raven skull earrings and overall sympathy towards colour black. Eerie, he thought but held himself from the judgement. Maybe it was a mere aesthetic choice.

But on the other hand, she was very pale. His heart raced when he thought what it could mean. He kneeled in front of her studying her neck up close in search of a bite mark.

That's when she opened her eyes. Blue eyes. He thanked the gods for not sending a vampire his way.

- Whoa, when I'll need a true lover's kiss I'll find someone I actually know - she sat up - What were you doing?

- Looking for signs of you being undead.

- Oh thank you, mighty warrior, but you just found someone who likes black and happens to be the palest of them all even in the full summer! - she reached her hand out, grining - I'm Ineth.

- M’eril. What were you doing here?

- Trying to sleep. Although I was ungodly beaten up so I passed out instead. How about you?

- I'm… staying vigil. Or at least tried to.

- Noble. Are you a paladin? - she smiled, knowing she was safe.

- Yes. Ancients, to be precise. You then must be either a rogue or a ranger - he looked at her. She was already playing with one of her daggers unknowingly.

- A mix of both, really - she seemed to be avoiding saying more but he chose not to press on her. She needed help, not more questions.

- Good. But I assume you're adventuring, where is your backpack?

- I had to leave it quickly, and had some nasty lynxes after me. One managed to scratch me a few times before I escaped.

- Show me - Ineth unfastened part of her armor, revealing deep scratches - I can heal that. I'd better do - a young woman nodded her head and allowed M’eril to do his magic.

Within a few minutes all the wounds were more or less gone.

- Thank you. And I'm sorry to disturb your vigil, I should be going - she stood up but suddenly a noticeable shiver went through her entire body.

- No. Stay. When I found you, you were freezing and I see you're only partially better. Let me watch over you tonight. Seems Ancients want it this way.

Ineth’s eyes widened for a solid second, she seemed to be debating herself, but finally she gave in:

- Fine, Mr. Feywarden. I'll stay, your oath will be in one piece and I won't freeze to death. Seems like a good deal. Though I'm afraid just fire won't do much. I'm still cold as hell.

When their eyes met the air felt heavy like lead.

- Wait! No… I didn' mean it that way. But in desperate situations it's the best option. And I must admit, that for a moment I'm kind of desperate. I yield. If you're not okay with tha - sentence was cut short by M’eril. He pulled Ineth close to him, knowing it'll be the best for both of them. He called upon his inner light and allowed it to flow from him to her.

- Okay, last thing I expected was having a living radiator pulling me close but here I am.

- A... radiator?

- One day I'll explain. Now… there's a vigil to hold, right? - she smiled, burying herself into his arms. Wasn't too hard for someone her size.

- Right. Impero tibi - her mind didn't even try to resist the spell.

Good night, Ineth, he thought to himself, holding her close. She was still a bit cold but with his magic at work and fire close to them both everything was on its way to being fine.