#(3) assume that they do not actually draw for themselves and proceed to tell them to not draw what fandoms want despite. like look at their

[qaanngi]

Scrolled to 2020 to try and update the file for Theo's birthday pic (HBD to him 💙) and that really was such a wonderful period for me in terms of drawing 🥲

[shiny-procrastinates]

(re)Watching Magia Record S1 - part 3

part 2 here

Hello everyone and welcome back to our watch-through of the first season of Magia Record! Last time, we met a trio of Kamihama magical girls, Momoko, Rena and Kaede, and, after Rena and Kaede fighting, Kaede is kidnapped by the “chain monster”, a part of the rumor of the Staircase of Severance. Now, it’s up to Iroha, Momoko and Rena to find and take her back. Will they succeed, or will someone lose their heads? The only way to know is by watching, so let’s get right to it.

Puella Magi Madoka Magica Side Story: Magia Record Episode 3

Rather than going back to the plot right away, we are given a flashback of Iroha’s younger sister and two other girls. The brown haired girl has apparently created an eternal motion machine in the form of a toy train, saying something about how adults must be stupid if they never thought of that before, and that toy train proceeds to crash into a pile of books and set fire on them. Good job. 

I don’t want to hear this from a gacha game character. Your original work is even more fragile than this!

The megane girl, Nemu, compares the brown haired girl, Touka’s actions to the burning of the Library of Alexandria (dramatic much?) and the two start fighting, with Ui trying to stop them. They’re just like Momoko’s trio on the previous episode, breaking their friendship up and everything.

Once again, it was Iroha’s dream. You know the erasure really went in on it when even the rug is cut in half.

Iroha’s sister had friends at the hospital, so she could get some new clues if only she could find them.

Floof Momoko.

Before going looking for Kaede, Momoko and co. drop by Kamihama Mirena-za, aka. the Coordinator’s. I tried searching if Milena constellation was actually a thing, but the only thing I could find was that there’s a Galileo satellite named Milena. Huh.

The Coordinator had a client, but she’s done right away. We learn that the Coordinator’s name is Mitama Yakumo, but still have no idea what she actually does.

Besides not having a sense of personal space.

Momoko explains that Iroha’s not there to get adjusted, whatever that means, and asks if Yachiyo is there yet. Who’s this Yachiyo though?

Aaawkward.

To no one’s surprise, I guess, since I already said it, but this girl is Yachiyo. And she absolutely ignores Iroha. Rude.

Yachiyo and Momoko start talking between themselves about Kaede’s case. (and MItama’s fixing Momoko’s hair. Cute). It seems Yachiyo is well aware of the rumor of the Staircase of Severance. She pulls out a notebook, and Momoko notes that she’s knowledgeable about these things.

Momoko asks Yachiyo to lend them her help, and Yachiyo agrees to do it, since Kaede is in danger, but adds that she won’t work with people who will only be a burden, looking at Iroha.

...not that she’s wrong, but still rude.

Well, I mean, that might make sense when you’re so op, but you don’t have to say it outright!

Still, Yachiyo has a point: it’d be too dangerous to bring along a weak magical girl to a fight with an unknown enemy. So Mitama offers a solution: why don’t they just adjust Iroha’s Soul Gem?

Mitama does a very short explanation of what “adjusting a Soul Gem” actually entails, and this one short screen tells us the rest. It’s basically what let Momoko and Rena do that joint attack earlier. I wonder if this was even long enough on the screen for the people who watched this on tv to read it. 

Momoko says that Yachiyo should have no complaints as long as they do that and Yachiyo is like “yeah, whatever”.

...now that I think about it, what is Mitama doing here?

Continue? Iroha hasn’t sacrificed anyone tho.

...oh, I forgot we don’t get to see Iroha getting adjusted.

So, our girls are now at the rumored stairs at Kamihama University Affiliated School. Leaving aside Momoko and Rena, since they are students there, one has to wonder how exactly did Iroha and Yachiyo manage to get up there without being found. This school’s security is lacking!

While the girls run up to the rumored Staircase of Severance (this is so annoying to write) we see some messages on screen of what I assume are Rena’s classmates, and get pushed some ideas of what friends should be like, all while Momoko tries to cheer Rena up.

Okay, that’s a really narrow staircase. Who decided to put this creepy thing here?

Momoko writes her and Yachiyo’s name on the staircase (and we sneakily learn Yachiyo’s surname is Nanami). The two are reenacting the rumor, so now they’ll make up to draw the Chain Witch out. That is, after they give us their transformation scenes!

While Yachiyo’s themes are water and stars(?), and she has gracious movements, Momoko’s literally burning up and kicking things. Their transformations parallel one another, and yet they are completely opposites. I love it! (but Momoko kicking the sword still takes the cake for me).

Now that I think about it, for all that fire theme she has going, Momoko's not that hot-blooded. Don’t judge a book by it’s cover, I guess.

Rena’s transformation focuses on her shapeshifting powers, throwing her through mirrors and with lots of expression changes. It’s not because she’s tsundere, the transformation seems to tell us Rena has lots of faces.

...I also like her DDR routine right at the start, it’s cute.

The theme of Iroha’s transformation is birbs. Rather than telling us something about who she is like the others, I see hers as basically about what she’s doing right now: much like she did by coming to Kamihama, Iroha takes the courage and jumps into the unknown, chasing after a mirage.

I’m always a little bothered with how she falls straight down despite taking impulse when she jumps, but hey, what can you do lol

One of the (many) cool things about this whole sequence is how the bgm is continuous throughout the transformations, only changing a bit to match each of the girls.

That’s not very convincing acting, Momoko. Yachiyo’s is not much better, either. They theorize it only works if they’re really fighting, and Rena says she’ll do it.

Rena starts apologizing, but nothing happens. Iroha says it might be because she’s not saying it from her heart and Rena’s gets upset.

Rena can’t just feel like making up right away, but it’s not like she doesn’t want Kaede to come back. These two seem to have a complicated relationship, but in the end, it’s clear that Rena does like her. Rena starts crying and apologizes for making Kaede be friends with someone like her all this time. Then, the Chain Witch appears.

We get a flashback to Rena flashbacking (confusing, I know) about all the times Kaede apologized to her, while watching an idol show.

Don’t we all?

So, yeah… Rena is a complicated character. (and a Sayuki stan)

Iroha wakes up in Rena’s room for some reason. Clearly-not-Momoko starts a monologue of how no one could ever like Rena.

Rena hates herself, so she wanted to change. She wanted to become someone else, so her wish gave her shapeshifting powers, but didn’t change her, so she still hates herself (considering the implications when this type of wish does work, see Oriko’s Kirika, she might have gotten the better end of the deal.

Kaede calls out to Rena and Iroha and Rena break out of the strange television-exposition-vision-thingy. So the first thing they start doing, naturally, is start bickering again. Great friends! 

Oh look, the weird Kyuubei is back! Like the nice mascot character he is, he’s showing Iroha the way to the main Witch.

Rena and Kaede start to have a heart-to-heart while fighting (the familiars now, not each other).

Familiar: hahaha, that tickles

Rena says their friendship is over once they get out of there, since they were never real friends to begin with, but Kaede doesn’t want that. Kaede says that if Rena’s problem is that she never apologizes, she just did earlier and Rena says that didn’t count, so Kaede replies that then they breaking up doesn’t count either. Nice, Kaede!

Kaede basically says that, yeah, Rena can be terrible, but she likes her that way anyway, so they can continue being friends.

Rena says that Kaede needs to listen to her, she needs to let her apologize too and tells her she’ll do it once they get out.

While they’re doing that, Yachiyo and Momoko climb to the top and knock down the witches’ main body. Momoko then calls for Kaede and Rena to finish it off. Nice VFX there btw.

Rena and Kaede join hands and using both their magic they pinball the witch into the air with Rena's mirrors. Rena launches plant-enchanted copy spears at it and the witch bursts into leaves and dries... Kaede's magic is kind of scary like this.

Oh, how adorable. Aaaand he's gone. 

The witch is defeated and Rena now has to make good on her promise to apologize. But, seems like honestly apologizing is still too much of a hurdle for her so after some struggle she swerves to another thing. Thankfully, Kaede knows Rena well enough and she's fine with this.

Look at them, so precious.

While Momoko and Iroha catch their breath, Yachiyo approaches them and informs them the Witch didn't drop a Grief Seed. In fact, she says that might've not even been a Witch at all. Yachiyo points out it's weird to have a Witch that comes out anywhere whenever the conditions of a rumor are met, in particular since they didn't even feel it's magic beforehand. She warns them that something weird is going on in Kamihama, then leaves in the most dramatic way possible.

Sometime later, our group is back at Satomi Medical Center. Seems Rena has given in and decided to help after all.

Going by the original plan, Rena transformed into a nurse and investigated the hospital. It's pretty cool how her voice is slightly distorted in this little sequence with her undoing her transformation.

No one in the hospital remembered Iroha's sister, but they did remember Touka and Nemu. That means Iroha's memories aren't entirely wrong.

With that, Iroha goes back to Takarazaki for the day, with some new friends and a very small but important step closer to finding her beloved younger sister.

"Sorry for making you my friend."

That's it folks, this was the third episode of Magia Record('s first season)! No one lost their heads... well except that not-witch if we count the bell as it's head, but I think that's just fine for this series, because--

OH WAIT THERE'S MORE

Talking about lost heads, look who's here! I totally forgot this episode had a stinger. My bad.

Kyuubei can't enter Kamihama now for some reason, so he needed someone to investigate the cause for him and contacted Mami as a strong veteran Magical Girl. There are rumors about that someone in Kamihama is gathering all the Witches around to monopolize Grief Seeds, which would explain why the city is infested with them and they being stronger than normal. Mami says she doesn't want trouble with the Magical Girls of another territory, but will investigate whether the current events are due to a Witch or Magical Girl. I like the short cut that shows her from beneath the grating, it's neat. Just have no idea what it's supposed to mean.

!--rant incoming--! (I say, as if this whole post isn't one)

Anyways, like I was saying... writing? Before the stinger disrupted my thoughts, I think it's just fine that Magia Record's ep3 doesn't have any big twists like Madoka. The original had that maybe for the shock factor, yes, but also because it needed it to make clear what kind of story they were actually going for, and that worked great for that show and the time when it came out. But Magia Record is more of a mystery. We don't need it to push the point of magical girl suffering because the original already did that, we need it to give us things to puzzle about, and that it already did with the weird witch of this episode. Could it have made that better? Maybe, but Magia Record also has the problem that it's cast is significantly bigger, so they have to fit those introductions somewhere. So while it introduces Momoko's trio and a bit Yachiyo, it also tries it's best to situate us (and Iroha by extension) as to how Kamihama's magical girl's world is like and what's going on there. It's a lot to juggle and the anime doesn't get the benefit like the game of being able to just put the character's backstory on a separate chapter. I really like character focused things, so I don't mind the anime trying to fit as much as it can in, but I can see how that might turn other people off. That's one of the things that's really a matter of taste I guess.

!--ok, you can come back now--!

One of the visual things I really like in this episode is the effect with the floating kana and kanji on the Labyrinth. I wonder how that was done. It's animated, so I don't think it's part of the background, but then I'm also not sure at which stage of production that'd be put in. It's really neat.

Well, with this, we are done with episode 3 of Magia Record! What will we do next? Who knows! It doesn't seem like Iroha noticed it, but just knowing that Touka and Nemu existed, not even getting their surnames, does not give her any new clues to go with. She barely started and already is at a dead-end, poor girl.

Before jumping off the building, Yachiyo also added another question to our already filled question bucket: what was up with that weird witch? What is this strange thing that is going on in Kamihama? Why are you looking like that at Momoko's team?

As viewers, however, there is only one way of answering all this: by watching. So I'll be looking forward to having you guys join me tomorrow for episode 4! Have a good morning/afternoon/evening!

PS.: The last two episodes had about 30 screenshots, this one has about 40, at this rate by the time I get to episode 13 I'll be taking screenshots of the whole episode...

[if-the-crown-fits-translate-it]

Discord pt 103

[Date: 25/03, 12:17 AM GMT - 25/03, 3:41 AM GMT]  

[CW for drug mention, descriptions of violence, torture mention, suffocation mention]

[Page appears in chat and begins a game of “Smile Charades” by telling the server to draw their attention to their Spotify playlist called “The Court?”, which consists of the following songs: “Break My Mind” by Dagames, “I’m the Bad Guy” by Caleb Hyles, “Echo” by Crusher-P, “Break the Rules” by Charlie XCX, “Discord” by The Living Tombstone, “The Fine Print” by The Stupendium, “I Can’t Decide” by Scissor Sisters, “Wolf in Sheep’s Clothing” by Set it Off, “Entropy” by Awkward Marina, “Happy Pills” by Weathers, “The Pitiful Children” by Eric William Morris, and “Monster” by KIRA. The server then proceeds to guess what Page could be trying to imply by this choice of songs. The following conversation ensures:]

jayyyyyyyy: “oh, happy pills is such a good song! kinda makes me sad in a way tho, ykno? its so upbeat but its basically about taking drugs so youre not truly yourself, ykno?”

Page 👑: “....

:)”

Jack the Observer 👁: “:)”

jayyyyyyyy: “huh, kinda makes me wonder if those plants are the result of drugs? or maybe theyre not, i might be looking at this the wrong way,”

Page 👑: “....”

jayyyyyyyy: “ah, either way its fine! just me wondering out loud, ykno? :]”

Page 👑: “:)”

jayyyyyyyy: “wow, what a unique and interesting message! thank you for the playlist, page, its really eye opening and neat to listen to :]”

Page 👑: “:)”

jayyyyyyyy: “wow, what a fun song about partying and breaking the rules! ,i sure hope, none of ,the court does that!, :]”

Page 👑: “:)”

jayyyyyyyy: “ooo i cant decide is a good one, a classic, especially for those in uh. *looks at writing smudged on wrist* ...the my little pony fandom...”

Page 👑: “....”

jayyyyyyyy: “its so cool! love how the singer has conflicting feelings about their attachment to the one theyre torturing, how they ultimately have to decide whether they want to be good and spare their life, or if they want to continue with the torture”

Page 👑: “:)”

[After a few minutes, the server wonders why Page is being so quiet and only responding in “:)”]

jayyyyyyyy: “nono, its okay, its like a yes or no thing

quiet for no, a smile for yes

is that right, page?”

Page 👑: “:)”

jayyyyyyyy: “pog! alright”

jayyyyyyyy: “okay, so still gotta find what youre picking up from this

are you not a big fan of concerts either?”

Page 👑: “....”

jayyyyyyyy: “oh, you like em?”

Page 👑: “:)

....”

jayyyyyyyy: “okay, you do like concerts! something else too tho”

[After a few minutes of conversation among the server members asking Page whether he liked concerts, or if being with the Court was like being in a concert, or if he wanted to continue the conversation in the direction of the topic of concerts, or if he wanted to talk about other topics, all of which were met with a resounding silence from Page-]

[jayyyyyyyy: “music?”]

Page 👑: “:)”

donti (e) (child): “music! alright

want to narrow the topic some more, page?”

Page 👑: “:)”

donti (e) (child): “so im assuming this is about your playlist?”

Page 👑: “:)”

donti (e) (child): “do you want us to focus on... lyrics?”

Page 👑: “:)”

donti (e) (child): “so like the tone?”

jayyyyyyyy: “well i think we already get the vibe, ykno”

donti (e) (child): “or the feel of all the songs together?”

Page 👑: “:)....”

donti (e) (child): “is there a common thread were supposed to be seeing?

Page 👑: “:)

[After some deliberation, it turned out that the common thread wasn’t about the laurels or drugs, but was about specific songs.]

jayyyyyyyy: “alright! so youre focusing on uhhh

break my mind

im the bad guy

echo

discord 50/50

wolf in sheeps clothing

entropy 50/50

happy pills 50/50

and monster”

Page 👑: “:)”

[jayyyyyyyy: “does "im the bad guy" apply to crown here?”]

Page 👑: “:)....”

jayyyyyyyy: “aight

is crown one of the common demoninators here?”

Page 👑: “:)....”

jayyyyyyyy: “aight

uhhh

im the bad guy is about.. fuck, i half remember half dont

if i remember correctly, the villain is explaining that whatever evils theyve faced before, shes much more powerful than them, and doesnt need their assistance because shes fine on her own

but

im guessing page is more focusing on. Uh”

Page 👑: “:)”

jayyyyyyyy: “oh! okay

okay, i got it

hm.. echo is about.. well, its kinda hard to say

let me look at the lyrics again

actually, this song is a perfect way to sum up the courts situation

"the echo in the mirror"

like.. youre fighting yourself? youre trapped in yourself, fighting yourself to be free”

Page 👑: “:)”

jayyyyyyyy: “pog! alright

so uhh

so far we have uhh

being stuck and fighting yourself is something im seeing rn

and the other one.. i think its better if i dont say it

am i right on the fighting yourself theme tho?”

Page 👑: “:)”

Ethza: “someone that's not crown??

"someone else"”

Page 👑: “:)”

Ethza: “OKAY

didnt expect that

so who

not crown

themselves?”

Page 👑: “:).....”

Ethza: “hm

eachother?”

donti (e) (child): “are,,, are the people who wear the crowns... pulling at the strings of their body??”

Page 👑: “....”

Ethza: “Hm”

jayyyyyyyy: “okay so

im assuming its crown and the court?”

Ethza: “but its not crown

its someone else”

Page 👑: “:)”

jayyyyyyyy: “hmm”

Ethza: “that was my first guess

so

someone else”

jayyyyyyyy: “okay! okay

and probably obvious but youre being controlled by your court version?”

Ethza: “but something else is controlling you”

Page 👑: “:)”

Ethza: “is it your court self?

the laurels?

something else?

feel free to respond to those separately”

jayyyyyyyy: “what, pray tell, the fuck are the laurels”

Page 👑: “:)”

[Ethza: “the laurels?”]

Page 👑: “....”

[Ethza: “something else?”]

Page 👑: “....:)”

jayyyyyyyy: “alright

hmmmm okay so

court selves are controlling the og selves, and crown is manipulating the court”

Ethza: “the court selves....aren't what they seem?”

Page 👑: “:)”

Ethza: “i was really hoping that wouldn't be right”

jayyyyyyyy: “well i dont think the court selves are evil”

Ethza: “i don't know if we'd call them good”

jayyyyyyyy: “theyre being manipulated, ykno? and theyre.. kinda stuck in an unwinable situation

well yea but like

either they let their alternate selves be free and they literally suffocate, or they let themselves be free and their alternate selves suffocate

and a while, youd want fresh air, no matter how good of a person you are”

[Ethza: “i don't know if we'd call them good”]

Page 👑: “:)”

jayyyyyyyy: “alright so theyre not good

obv im still suspicious that a lot of it is bc of circumstances but still evil”

Ethza: “...hey page”

Page 👑: “:)”

Ethza: “are they something we know?”

Page 👑: “....:)”

jayyyyyyyy: “i really cant think of anything else tho

dreamons maybe?”

Page 👑: “:)

:)

:)

:)

:)

:)”

jayyyyyyyy: “uhhh

OH SHIT”

Page 👑: “:)”

jayyyyyyyy: “OH FUCK

OH FUCK

OH FUCK ITS DREAMONS”

Page 👑: “:)

:)

:)

:)”

donti (e) (child): “is that a smile or a yes ??”

Page 👑: “:)

:)

:)”

jayyyyyyyy: “ITS A YES

OH MY GOD ITS DREAMONS OH FUCK”

donti (e) (child): “UH!!”

jayyyyyyyy: “OKAY

FUCK

okay

ok im. calming down”

Knight 👑: “Fetch likes this song :)” 

[DAYWALKER! by Machine Gun Kelly ft. Corpse] 

Knight 👑: “It should be obvious as to why :)”

jayyyyyyyy: “WAIT NO BUT I HAVE OTHER QUESTIONS

okay page!!

is that "thing" thats more powerful than crown the dreamons?”

Knight 👑: “Page is not in service at this time. Please check the number or try your call again. :)”

jayyyyyyyy: “oh fuck off

GOD

you mother FUCKERS

donti (e) (child): “AH IS PAGE OK”

Knight 👑: “:)”

donti (e) (child): “uhhhhhh buddy you ok”

Knight (he/they): “I see somebody talking with a mouth thats full of teeth i want to break :)”

jayyyyyyyy: “thats dumb as FUCK”

donti (e) (child): “well thats probably me time to scram :D”

jayyyyyyyy: “page did not say a single thing this entire time”

Knight 👑: “Then i'm not talking about him. :)”

jayyyyyyyy: “..neither did max”

Knight 👑: “I'm on borrowed time can't shake it :) blackout when i'm ragin'. :)”

jayyyyyyyy: “yea

again with that fuckin corpse song

hold on

huh

okay so im assuming this is just. 100% knight rn

bc you definitely did something to page

and the song daywalker is ab letting someone in on a secret and blaming them when the secret gets out

actually this song. lines up with uh

that scene”

Knight 👑: “:)”

jayyyyyyyy: “the. ykno, the murder

unless im wrong but

seems. violent”

Knight 👑: “I prayed to god and went to sleep with bloody hands :)”

jayyyyyyyy: “damn! okay

uhhh fuck

okay knight can you like. post all the lyrics youre focusing on rn?? tryna get across???”

Knight 👑: “Punch that motherfucker in the face 

you hated what he said, right? 

beat his ass, leave him at the stoplight

i know you wanted change, but nobody's around

so, kick him again while he's on the ground”

jayyyyyyyy: “thank you!”

Big G (they/them): “Uhh”

jayyyyyyyy: “....oh god i just said thank you im going SOFT

"i know you wanted change but nobodys around" is really catching my eye

"you hated what he said right" hmm”

Knight 👑: “If a pussy wanna say shit, then i'll fuckin' stomp his face in

nah, not getting better, can't change it, i left blood all on the pavement 

i'm on borrowed time, can't shake it, blackout when i'm ragin',

me and all these pills be on a fuckin' first name basis,”

jayyyyyyyy: “im kinda throwing a shot here, but is the "you hated what he said right" part about the dreamons hating what i said?”

Knight 👑: “I never said it was about page :) in fact, i told you i wasn't talking about him :)”

[lovetheonlyyouthereis]

My thoughts on Jikook on Wembley Night 1

I’ve been seeing a lot of opinions about Jikook’s vibe on Wembley Night 1 that essentially fall in two buckets:

They didn’t breathe as much as usual, so they definitely got into a fight and “broke up.”

They didn’t breathe, but everything is 100% normal and fine.

If I had to choose one of these options, option two would be my pick, but, for the record, I don’t think either assessment of the night is correct from the way I interpreted Jikook’s behavior last night. I think these are the black and white (no pun intended) answers for Jikook’s bive last night in a conversation where I think there’s room for a lot more nuance.

Jikook definitely did not breathe as much as usual, but I actually anticipated this. I was actually talking to a fellow shipper before the concert and mentioned that I wasn’t expecting much Jikook. I don’t necessarily think that the company told them to tone things down or anything, but I do suspect that they may have had an agreement between themselves that they would dial things back a tad since the concert was going to be being streamed to such a large audience.

And sure enough, Jikook were definitely subdued compared to most concerts. But even if the show wasn’t being streaming to 140,000 people in HD, I still  wouldn;t have freaked out and I think that we, as a fanbase of shippers, need to do better about not jumping to the worst case scenerio just because JK doesn’t nibble JM’s ear at the end of every concert. 

Jikook had plenty of interactions last night that, although they may be considered less significant than what we’re accustomed to, indicated Jikook are totally fine and definitely did not get in a fight.

EXHIBIT A: The “Anpanman” Moment

During “Anpanman” Jimin literally just scooted his way past everyone and placed himself in between Jungkook’s legs. JK’s first response was to comfortably place his hand on his shoulder. This moment certainly is not a Jikkok “clue” moment and essentially fan service, but they both looked completely at ease. Not a hint of awkwardness.  

EXHIBIT B: “Let’s get started!”

I can only guess this moment came as the boys were preparing to do the ARMY Bomb wave. But Jungkook tells Jimin to get it started by calling him, “Jimin,” and then Jimin playfully responds by growling “Let’s get started!” You an watch the moment here.

At this point, Jungkook put his hand over his heart.

I thought that might be significant in terms of body language, but I looked into it and couldn’t find anything particularly related to this moment. Still hella cute, though. So, in the end, this was just a nice, playful interaction that further indicates that Jimin and Jungkook were not on bad terms that night.

Exhibit C: Jungkook staring fondly

When Jimin told his story about telling his friends about BTS performing at Wembley, Jungkook couldn’t stop staring fondly, and even stepped out of the line formation toget a better look at Jimin while he told his story. This moment, above all else, shows that Jungkook was equally as fond of Jimin last night as ever. You can watch the moment here.

Exhibit D: Jikook were close during the first group photo

Jimin and Jungkook comfortably wrapped their arms around each other when the boys took their first group photo at the end of the night. Again, certainly no a clue that they’re real, but definitely indicates they were totally fine on a personal level. You can see this moment here.

So, I already explained why I don't think anything was wrong with Jikook throughout the night and that they likely intentionally toned things down between them because of the live stream happening. So, why do I not think they were not 100% normal and OK?

Well, something curious happened at the end of the night. Jikook had been totally fine and dandy. As you could see, they were both happy and smiling while delivering their ending ments and, up to that point, I had not sensed andy form of tension between them. That is, until, the bows.

The Tension

When the boys were doing their bows, there was a noticible shift in Jungkook’s attitude that I have to say, seemed to coincide with Jimin’s comforting Namjoon.

You guys probably saw the moment. RM was getting emotional as they bowed to the fans and Jimin hugged him, then screamed, “Don’t cry RM!” into the mic as he gave RM a back hug.

You can watch the moment, and it’s aftermath, here starting at 

After that, there were a few different moments that indicated to me that Jungkook had been rattled, for whatever reason, by that interaction, and was a little more distant for the rest of the night (AKA, the next five minutes until the show was over). You can watch the moment go down in the video below starting at  4:29:

So, here’s what I noticed that indicated Jungkook’s mood had shifted after that moment:

1) Jungkook, having seen the interaction, walked past Minjoon while hugging himself.

This is the best screenshot/angle I could get of the moment (thought you can also see it in the video I embedded above).

And this is a more clear shot where you can see his facial expressions in that moment:

Credit: @/helianthusjk97

According to this article about self-hugging and body language, hugging yourself like this can indicate a few things:

It can be form of stress relief

It can be an attempt to hide insecurities

It can indicate anxiety or fear

2) Jungkook is subdued in his goodbyes.

Jungkook proceeds to walk around the stage saying goodbye to the fans like he usually does, but he’s noticeabley subdued and does not say much into his mic. This may not seem significant, but even when he cried pretty heavilty at the end of New Jersey Night 2, he managed to pull himself together and was smiling and saying his goodbyes like normal (more or less) after a couple minutes. You can watch that moment from New Jersey below:

3) Jimin ran to Jungkook to check on him

I’ve seen this moment being posted as some sort of cute moment between Jikook, but I actually found it kind of tense, curious.

While the boys are saying their goodbyes, Jimin appars to make a conscious effort to catch up to Jungkook. When he reaches him, he out a hand around his shoulder and says something to Jungkook. JK looks at him briefly, then up and away from him. Jimin appears to be attempting to say one more thing as Tae approaches them from behind, but Jungkook doesn’t give any noticeable acknowledgement of whatever Jimin had said. The moment honestly struck me as a bit tense in comparison to how they were interacting earlier in the night and indicates to me that Jimin had a sense that Jungkook had been unsettled by something, or else why would he have gone to comfort him? You can see this moment by clicking here.

4) Jungkook skips the group picture.

You can see this in the video from last night that I posted above.

It’s not uncommon for members who are emotional and overwhelmed by the fans’ love to not step into the group picture that the boys take before exiting the stage. Jungkook has done it multiple times, but as far as I can remember, those times had been when Jungkook was visibly crying. Like, real, hot tears.

What’s curious about this time is that Jungkook was not crying. One might argue he can be emotional without crying, which is very true, but on top of what I pointed out above in 1-3, I do think, in this moment, Jungkook’s emotional state had been caused by something else.

At one point, he even leans over from the distance to be included and makes an attempt at smiling/looking cute, but his face falters immediately and it didn’t, in my opinion, reach his eyes.

5) Jungkook’s hands are clasped and he’s covering his groin as he exits the stage.

According to this article about body language, the placement of one’s hands over their groin can indicate feeling insecure and nervous.

So, the question is “WHY?”

So, assuming the moment between Minjoon did rattle JK, which I believe it did for all the reasons I listed above, the question is “Why?”

For the record, I want to say right off the bat, that I don’t think Jungkook is seething with jealousy over the moment, or insecure about Jimin liking Namjoon or something. As I always say, there’s room for nuance in these conversations.

‘So, I can only theorize about what may have triggered Jungkook’s shift in mood (though it’s not confirmed and should be taken with a grain of salt and critical thinking).

My theory: Jungkook resents that other members can be “intimate” with Jimin freely on stage while they’re often “policed” when it comes to their on-stage interactions.

Throughout the night, we saw Jimin interact with several members of the group with little to no reaction from the other guys. Jungkook had a couple moments too, for that matter. But when Jikook interact, they’re often given a strong does of side eye, or even physically pulled apart. Perhaps Jungkook seeing that Minjoon moment happen so freely made him resent how Jikook are, on some level, policed on stage and that he can’t interact freely with Jimin like the others?

But, long story short, like I said, I do not think that Jikook got into some massive fight that kicked off their lack of PDA at Wembley night one, but I’d be lying if I said I didn’t sense some tension at the very end of the night, seemingly triggered by Minjoon’s interaction. It does indicate some form of unrest and insecurity about their situation on Jungkook’s part, if my analysis is right.

And honestly, how could he not feel that way? Imagine being on stage in front of 60,000 people feeling extremely overwhelmed, and the person you want to be next to most and bask in the moment about it with is right there with you, but you have a nagging voice in the back of your head ruining the moment telling you, “You can be too loud or you’ll draw suspicion. Everyone else in the band can, but you... you hold back.”

I could see it taking an emotional toll. But, overall, I doubt the tension will last and the boys will likely be back to normal tonight, but I think we can acknowledge when something seems to be a little off with Jikook without jumping to the conclusion that they’re over or had some massive fight.

Relationships are inherantly emotional rollercoasters, and in an impossible situation like Jikook are in, one can only imagine that constant stress they deal with trying to navigate their relationship -- whatever it is. I think that just shows how authentic their relationship really is.

[snugglyporos]

So I can’t help but think that the Persona games are trying as hard as they possibly can to get away from the thing they’re a spinoff of. Which may explain why the nonsense in each game gets further and further away. Like, it feels like it was made by two different people putting it together. Example:

Persona 1: Guy #1: what if demons invaded an people had to fight them using things called personas? Guy #2: and then they fight god, right? 

Persona 2: Guy #1: what if rumors changed reality?  Guy #2: and then they fight god, right?

Persona 3:  Guy #1: what if there was an extra secret hour that only some people could see? Guy #2: and then they fight god, right?

Persona 4: Guy #1: what if there was a secret world inside the tv and the heroes had to solve a serial murder case? Guy #2: and then they fight god, right?

Persona 5: Guy #1: What if a group of heroes changed the hearts of bad people who the law couldn’t or wouldn’t touch to right wrongs? Guy #2: And then they fight god, right?

If none of the divine stuff makes any sense, it’s because it’s a holdover from the SMT games, which are themselves a spinoff of the Megami Tensei games, which are themselves based on a book series in the 1980′s. A very, very weird book series. A book series whose plot is... uh... this:

In Jusho High School, there is a divide among the student body; those of the gifted side and those of the normal side. Students in the gifted class are normally exceedingly intelligent, while those in the normal class tend to be academic under-achievers.

Akemi Nakajima, of the school's gifted class and a computer genius, is assaulted by Hiroyuki Kondo of the normal class under the orders of Kyoko Takamizawa, who had been angered by Nakajima rejecting her romantic advances. Kyoko had told Kondo that Nakajima had been flirting with her rather than the other way around, prompting the attack.

The normal students were rarely punished for their actions against other students out of fear and pity on the part of faculty. Battered and bloody, Nakajima comes home and decides to finish his Demon Summoning Program, a work in progress of his, to exact revenge. He discovers that his computer is not powerful enough to use the program, so he must use the school's Computer Aided Instruction (CAI) room's host computer.

Sneaking into the school at night, Nakajima draws a pentagram in the computer room and attempts to run the program, but is found by Professor Iida. Nakajima has a tense conversation with the professor, who becomes afraid of him, but he is able to run the program regardless. Nakajima commands the program to kill Kondo and Kyoko, which causes a tremor in the school but otherwise appears to not work.

A week later while Professor Iida is teaching a computer class in the CAI room with Nakajima and Kyoko present. Suddenly a voice resounds from the host computer. A demon, Loki, trapped inside the host computer, uses the monitors in the CAI room to hypnotize the entire class except Nakajima, Kyoko and Professor Iida. The demon follows Nakajima's request and commands the hypnotized students to kill Kyoko. They then lure Hiroyuki Kondo,into the room and kill him as well. Professor Iida is also killed in the chaos, which upsets Nakajima somewhat: Loki had followed the program's command, but Nakajima had not specified any restrictions.

Drunk with power, Nakajima at first begins to comply with Loki's request for female sacrifices, offering him his female professor, Ohara, who proceeds to be metaphysically assaulted by Loki through the use of a helmet-like contraption connected to the summoning program. Permanently damaged by the encounter, Ohara eventually becomes Loki's loyal servant and helps Loki assume physical form in the human world through Nakajima's program as well as her own connection to the demon.

Nakajima meets Yumiko Shirasagi during this time, a newly-transferred student with whom he feels a strange connection to. Unbeknownst to him, she had witnessed the bizarre encounter with Ohara and Loki, but had dismissed it as illusion and trickery. Eventually, the demon demands that Nakajima offer him Yumiko, which Nakajima refuses to do. He then advises Yumiko to stay away from the school in an attempt to save her. That night, Yumiko ignores Nakajima's advice and returns to the school, prompting the attention of Loki. Nakajima attempts to regain control of Loki, but the demon mocks Nakajima's attempts to command him.

Loki summons himself into the physical world through the CAI room computer and goes on a killing spree, free from Nakajima's control. Jealous of Yumiko, Ohara attacks and wounds her. Nakajima summons a benign, loyal demon, Cerberus, to help him battle Loki, to no avail. During the battle, Yumiko is possessed by Izanami, of whom Yumiko is a reincarnation, and burns Loki with her powers. In addition to dealing with Cerberus, Loki is distracted enough so that Yumiko and Nakajima can escape through a dimensional warp to Asuka created by Izanami, although Loki succeeds in fatally wounding Yumiko as she flees.

Still influenced by Izanami, Yumiko tells Nakajima that she will die, but could be revived if her body is brought to Izanami's tomb. Yumiko dies, but with the help of Cerberus, Nakajima complies with her dying request and travels to the Shirasagi Mount, where he meets Yomotsu-Shikome, a loyal servant of Izanami's.

Yomotsu-Shikome provides Nakajima with two mystical spheres, and guides him onward. With Ohara's help, Loki is able to follow them to Asuka and Shirasagi Mount, where he kills Yomotsu-Shikome. Izanami meets Nakajima and Yumiko in the tomb, but she is attacked by Loki before the resurrection can take place. Nakajima summons Cerberus to help, but his companion is also no match for Loki, and is defeated. Desperate, Nakajima uses the two spheres that Yomotu-Shikome gave him, which ignite the pomade-covered floor of the tomb, summoning Hinokagutsuchi, who in turn transforms into a powerful, mystical fire sword, with which Nakajima is at last able to kill Loki. Izanami succeeds in reviving Yumiko, but keeps her with her, stating that Yumiko has great hidden powers within her with which they could battle evil.

Meanwhile, Ohara, impregnated by Loki, attempts to communicate with him, not knowing that he has perished. This makes her accidentally contact the demon Seth.

Basically, it’s a bunch of insane nonsense that makes no god damned sense. But someone took a look at this, and went ‘you know, this looks like a good thing to make into a game series!’ Also, that’s the plot of book one. There are many others. 

But in case you thought I was exaggerating how nonsensical and weird the SMT series started, here’s a brief synopsis of the first SMT’s first chapter: 

The news of demonic invasion soon gets out, however, and the American military, led by Ambassador Thorman, declares martial law in Tokyo as they try to get rid of the demons. A reactionary Japanese militia force, led by Gotou, rallies against the cordoning imposed by the Americans and they begin working with the demons, whom they see as the ancient spirits of the land sent to create a utopia, to prevent the Americans from destroying Tokyo. A third resistance faction, led by the Heroine, seeks to keep the Americans and the reactionary Japanese forces from clashing and getting Tokyo caught in the middle. The party meets the Heroine, whom turns out to be the sacrificial woman from their collective dream. Despite their efforts, she is captured by Gotou's forces and Yuriko appears to personally oversee her public execution, claiming that once she is gone, Yuriko can be with the Protagonist eternally.

The Protagonist can choose to align himself with any of the three factions, but no matter what, the Heroine will be rescued and join his side, the two forces will clash, and Ambassador Thorman - the deity/demon Thor in disguise - will launch nuclear missiles on Tokyo, destroying nearly everything. The Protagonist, the Law Hero, and the Chaos Hero only survive thanks to the sacrifice of the Heroine, who sends them to the Diamond Realm, another plane of reality, with her magic.

So for those of you keeping track, the plot is that Thor, impersonating an american ambassador, nukes tokyo, while one of our protagonists is executed by a woman claiming she wants to own our main protagonist, because that woman is actually Lilith. It’s nonsense. 

Anyway, it ends like this: 

After defeating Asura Lord at the behest of Law, Michael at the request of Chaos, or both to restore the balance, the Protagonist is teleported to the roof of the Cathedral above the clouds. A Chaos-aligned Protagonist is congratulated by Louis Cyphre, who reveals his true form as Lucifer and vows to lead the world into a golden age of freedom. On the Law path a messenger of God welcomes the Protagonist, and tasks him with preaching God's word so that all mankind may be welcomed into the Thousand-Year Kingdom. A Neutral Protagonist is greeted by the figure of Taishang Laojun, a being of balance, who thanks him for his efforts on behalf of the universe, and urges that the hero build a new future for mankind, "built by neither reliance on God nor demons, but by the hands of people themselves."

For those keeping track, it turns out that this was all a fight between god and lucifer over the world. So if you’re wondering why at the end of Persona 5, the protagonist becomes Lucifer and fights God, it’s because they’re referencing the chaos ending of SMT1. 

Something that does not at all fit with the rest of the game, nor does it fit with anything else. It just sorta comes out of nowhere. Honestly, you’d never understand that ending unless you bothered to play games from 1992. Which I imagine most people haven’t. 

Honestly, I keep thinking that the persona games are written by sane people and then there’s a room with the original creators and they just keep having to appease them by putting their insane nonsense in the game. 

[an-oger-in-the-wild]

Children Shouldn’t Play with Undead Things

So here’s a fun little team-building exercise I threw at three of my PCs who met a couple in-game days before the official start of the campaign / meeting of the rest of the PCs. The summary? Three unlikely people meet on a coastal beach and end up hanging out in a coastal town’s tavern, chatting the night away, until they - along with the other patrons of the tavern - start getting attacked by an unknown and unseen source: a poltergeist. The three PCs in question consisted of an aasimar warlock, a half-orc cleric, and a wood-elf druid, so some really cool and interesting social and debuff spells (like Detect Evil and Good, Faerie Fire, and Message to name a few) were available for use that didn’t have to be damage-focused, teaching the group early that you don’t necessarily have to only have combat spells equipped in order to overcome obstacles or solve problems.

If you’d like to use this encounter for your 1st, 2nd, or even 3rd level (like my group was) party, you’ll want to be sure to lay a good foundation of visual descriptions - little things that are actually Easter eggs for the party to remember later, realizing that they were actually clues.

QUEST LEAD:  This encounter takes place in a small tavern called Bottles & Drafts.  You can read this little block of text to introduce your characters to the first NPC in this encounter; or, alternatively, you can use your own tavern or NPC if you already have a place in mind:

You see, as you enter, a pleasantly-lit tavern, complete with a small hearth, two long tables, three smaller round tables, and a neatly-kept bar with stools. Looking around, you notice that the dining area is rather saddlery-themed with things like horseshoes, halters, and old bridles hung on the wall for décor, befitting of the inn’s adjoining stables out back.  Near an entryway to a hall at the far end of the room, you see a physically imposing grayish/green-skinned woman - about 6' 1" - with short, chipped tusks protruding from her lips.  She wears a brown tank top with olive-colored cotton pants, and her light-brown hair is kept short on top and shaved close on the sides.  She's standing on a small ladder, hanging a new item on the wall: a black leather horse whip (or some might call it a crop).  She's mounting it to the wall as best she can, but it keeps falling off the wall each time she gets off the ladder, making her visibly frustrated as she repeats the process three times in the time it takes you to find a seat.

This is Jacoba, a half-orc (use stat block of berserker) - she owns the inn, Bottles & Drafts (named thus as your adventurers can both purchase a night’s stay there or take a trip around back to its stables to purchase a mount, such as a draft or riding horse). Today, your party happens to walk in on her hanging a whip...little do they know that this is the item to which the poltergeist has attached itself. 

Part 1: a Start to an Exciting Evening

Be sure the party knows they are not the only ones in the tavern!  Three other patrons sit in different areas of the inn (each to themselves):

Roberick Zemony, male human (looks visibly intoxicated)

Tawnel Ostoro, male half-elf (dressed in the uniform of the local guards)

Baerla Flaskbraids, female dwarf (has a small rabbit familiar with her)

While the party sits around conversing - probably around a meal or a few drinks - have some strange things happen as the evening approaches:

Random drinks sitting in front of patrons at the bar tip over onto their laps, soaking them.

Patrons go to sit in their chairs...but right before they sit down, the chair is just a little too far from them and they fall to the floor on their asses.

The whip will continue to fall off the wall, usually AT Jacoba as she walks by with a plate of food or a platter filled with drinks.  

She will eventually give up on trying to mount it and will make a scene as her barbarian temper gets the better of her: describe her as being close to raging mad over the “stupid whip,” picking it up (perhaps putting the strap in her mouth and gnawing at it for a moment) then violently whipping a vacant spot at the bar with it a few times before throwing the whip down the hallway and heading back behind the bar.

If the party tries to interact with Jacoba or ask her about the whip, she can explain that the décor is a collection of old pieces that have either been found by patrons who frequent the tavern or are left behind after a rental horse or carriage is returned.  This most recent piece was actually given to her earlier today by a tradesman who came through for a drink (while nothing more has to come of this mention, you could always develop this out into an extended quest).

With a good enough Charisma check, Jacoba may also tell the party what she knows about the other three patrons left in the tavern if they get inquisitive:

Roberick Zemony, male Human (nightly patron; commoner, middle-aged; "dad bod," thinning hair; lazy-sounding drunken voice)

Tawnel Ostoro, male half-elf guard (off-duty but still in his regalities; just got off his guard duty shift and likes to come up for a quick sip or two before he returns to the barracks for the evening; condescending)

Baerla Flaskbraids, female dwarf (a scout passing through on her way back to her guildhall north of here; just finished clearing out a pesky infestation of stirges and is staying the night before heading back in the morning)

Part 2: It Begins

Once it’s officially evening, the party sees Roberick get up to go to "water the flowers" (at which Jacoba threatens to kill him if he does).

As he stands to leave, the flames in the wall sconces all extinguish at once and the sound of Roberick screaming in pain and then moaning fills the room.          

          (HE DEAD, Y'ALL.)

Jacoba will quickly try to relight the sconces if no one casts a spell before this is done.

Once there is light, everyone will be able to see Roberick's dead body on the floor, a knife stuck in his chest.

If no one revives him, proceed to Part 3.

If someone casts Revivify or Speak with Dead, he won't know what hit him or killed him.

Part 3: a Murder Mystery

Before Tawnel (the half-elf guard) allows anyone to move, he will swiftly walk over to the door (the only exit) and bar it shut, stating that "no one will be leaving here until I find out who killed this man."

Investigation checks can begin to be made against the dead body (DC: 13).

On a success, they can tell from the angle of impact and the blood splatter that the attack had to have come from the direction of the bar and that the knife had to have been flung at him from a distance.

If investigating for magic, use the same DC for an Arcana check; however, no magical aura is detected around the body or the knife.

If spells like Detect Magic or Detect Evil and Good are cast, assume that the poltergeist will not be within the 30 foot radius in this one instance; after the party has made some good detective work headway though, feel free to reward smart casting by allowing the undead creature to “light up” as it were.  Those spells last 10 minutes unless dropped, so you can toy with them by having the poltergeist move in and out of the range of the spell occasionally.

Insight checks can be made against the NPCs for added intrigue if the characters are suspicious or on-edge:

Tawnel (the half-elf guard): this is probably the most exciting thing he's ever seen as a guard of a relatively uninteresting city, so he's hoping that getting to the bottom of this murder will help him climb the ladder of success

Alibi: he's "one of the good guys" and just wants to figure out what happened…he was sitting in the corner reading smut (but he won't want anyone to know that this is what he was reading).

Motive: everyone - including Tawnel - knows Roberick…he's the town drunk and tends to get into trouble when he drinks: Tawnel has arrested him on a couple occasions for indecency in front of children and found him no better than the dirt beneath his boots - Jacoba has heard him say before that “it would be a better world without Roberick in it.”

Baerla (the dwarf scout): has only been seen thus far to be talking to her rabbit...plus she has a longbow on her back and a sword at her side - seems strange enough to draw some attention, right?

Alibi: she knows no one here - why would she kill someone?...she was busy scrolling a message to send with her animal messenger (a rabbit) back to her guildhall to inform them of the completion of her job; her rabbit is "gone now though."

Motive: Roberick was being loud and obnoxious and (per Baerla) was making fun of her height earlier that evening.

Jacoba (the half-orc tavern owner / berserker): normal day, just got a new shipment of food today as well as a few new bridle materials, some new tankards, that kind of thing; a tradesman bartered with her for a new item for her tavern - the whip.  

Alibi: she was serving drinks when the lights went out and Roberick dropped dead.

Motive: Roberick was behind on his tab by several months - Tawnel knows that this has really been bothering Jacoba lately.

Part 4: Further Bloodshed

The poltergeist will become enraged by any light-based spells or by radiant damage (clerics and paladins BEWARE!).

It will also get increasingly angry if the whip is in any way touched or damaged.  If someone moves within 30 feet of the poltergeist’s area, it will become aggressive and throw things using its Telekinetic Thrust (+4 to hit, 2d4 bludgeoning or piercing damage, depending on the item); if they get reeeeally close, it will use its Forceful Slam attack (+4 to hit, reach 5 feet, 3d6 force damage).

NOTE: If you really want to freak the party out, try throwing them around with its Telekinetic Thrust by rolling a contested Strength (the PC) versus Charisma (the poltergeist) check to see if the undead creature can “hurl the target up to 30 feet in any direction, including upward,” causing 1d6 damage per 10 feet moved - I wouldn’t recommend this unless your group can handle these amounts of damage though - always playtest before playing!

Part 5: Reclaiming Serenity

There are a couple of ways this can go:

If you have a party who loves to get stuff done by way of combat, you can certainly take the most direct route by allowing them to work through the difficulties of waging war with a creature who never turns visible. As mentioned in my opening paragraph, debuff spells like Detect Evil and Good, Faerie Fire, or See Invisibility are great uses of spellcasting while in combat with an invisible creature.  Additionally, you may have a party member who thinks outside the box and has the idea to try to destroy the item to which the spirit is attached - this is a great idea! A low-level encounter like this is a nice way to condition your party for battles that cannot simply be won by hacking and slashing.

If you have a party or party member who wants to make the world a better place with a more passive approach, you could delve deeper into the backstory of the poltergeist, giving it a history that shaped it into a malevolent spirit. Use the whip as inspiration: did the whip belong to the spirit in its previous life? Was it sentimental? Does it need returned to someone in order for the spirit to find peace? Alternatively, does the whip have a darker connotation - was it a weapon used against the spirit in its former life? Is the spirit seeking an unattainable revenge on innocent victims?  Ponder these things and come up with a flexible and easily improved story in case you have a tenderhearted sorcerer or a righteous paladin with high charisma who want to try to reason with the undead creature.  Allow a series of Persuasion checks to convince the poltergeist that they don’t need to act violently or to help the undead creature to pass on into the next life: this can make for a really memorable role-playing moment that will change the normally black and white outlook most parties have on undead creatures.

Thanks for reading, guys!  If you like this post and would like to get more encounter idea inspiration like this one, let me know by asking to be included on my Enticing Encounters taglist!

[yinnezha]

Hi! I wanna start this by saying that I don't really have an opinion on the karedevil relationship, as in I'm fine with it going canon or not as long as it's well written. So this is a genuine question: where do you see the writing that hints towards them having an actual relationship? Because to me personally it always seems like Karen is super into Matt, while he comes across as not that interested. Especially in S2, it felt more like he thought 'okay whatever, I guess we can go out.'

I also kinda feel like Karen deserves better? I love Matt dearly, but I mean, he basically dropped Karen the instant Elektra was back and acted like a douche, then decided to die with Elektra in Defenders, and then in S3 he seemed totally bitter he had to save her instead of going after Fisk. Maybe I’m just not seeing the writing you’re seeing, but that could totally be me since I’m not invested in any ship on the show. (2)

hey, I wanna start by apologizing for how long this answer is. I will address the points you raised and keep it as objective as I can, talking about the writing of the show and my understanding of it. All bias towards or against particular ships will be kept to myself.

“where do you see the writing that hints towards them having an actual relationship?”

The writing of the first season is filled with hints and foreshadowings, and while Matt and Karen spend the first season without a romantic involvement, it is underlined that they will. But is under lines, it is subtle, less in your face than Matt’s involvement with Claire (and for a reason but I’ll get to that). It is lines like Karen explaining how she promised to her grandmother to only serve her recipe to her future husband and then proceeds to serve it to Matt first, then Foggy. It is lines like Matt telling Foggy back in college that he’s looking for someone that he really likes listening to and a couple of episodes before that, he mention to Karen very matter of factly that he likes listening to her voice. It is lines like Karen’s acceptance of and trust in the Devil of Hell’s Kitchen. If you rewatch the first season looking for signs like these, you’ll find them (there are more).

“to me personally it always seems like Karen is super into Matt, while he comes across as not that interested”

Of course Karen’s interest in Matt was obvious from the start; she admires his idealism, his will to fight for justice, how he’s a person who wants to do good. But to understand why Matt wasn’t immediately interested in Karen we have to see things from his perspective. She’s a stranger, involved in some messy things, who is good but lies to him (for whatever reason that she has) and we cannot forget this, that Matt knows Karen lies to him. So with Matt’s “understanding” of people we can assume he is wary of having a relationship. See, Matt’s relationship with Claire was surface and it was meant to be that way. It happened fast, it developed fast and it ended fast. Because Claire was not the one who would accept him and understand him. And so in parallel with that, because Claire cannot accept Matt’s fighting crime, we have Karen’s undying support for the Man in the mask. You see what I mean? But back to Matt’s “disinterest” in Karen… He knows she is a good person, but that’s as far as it goes. They needed time to adjust, to get to know each other beyond the circunstances of their meeting. They needed to build a foundation, and that was happening slowly throughout the first season. The strangers become friends. Enters the second season where some time has passed and they are more confortable with the idea of exploring their mutual interest. 

“it felt more like he thought ‘okay whatever, I guess we can go out’.”

Again, let’s take into consideration that they work together, they see each other all the time, they go out together. In the first episode we see a shift in Matt in which he is more playful with her, more lingering looks… Foggy says “I leave you two alone for one minute” which kind of implies that this is a common ocurrence now, that Matt and Karen are on the flirting banter for a while. And then later on the episode in which Matt kiss Karen for the first time, Foggy says “careful Matt keep going like this you might just end up happy and for a catholic boy that’s a pretty dangerous thing” interesting that he could’ve just teased Matt about being happy but he mentioned Matt’s religion as a subtle reminder to the audience of Matt’s inner struggles, how he beats himself up over what he deserves. You see when is something serious, meaningful is harder for him, his beliefs, his doubts gets on the way. Matt probably wanted to be with Karen for a while but didn’t know how, didn’t know if he deserves her (because of how he sees her, because in reality we the audience knows that she would understand and accept him). So you see, I disagree with your point on Matt “settling” for going out with Karen.

“I also kinda feel like Karen deserves better? I love Matt dearly, but I mean, he basically dropped Karen the instant Elektra was back and acted like a douche, then decided to die with Elektra in Defenders”

Remember my point on Claire not accepting Matt’s Daredevil identity? Well, Elektra is the opposite. She accepts Daredevil, but she does not accept Matt. See? This is good writing! We have different ends of the issue of Matt’s double life in both seasons. And both relationships were wrong for him because something was missing, and in both seasons we have Karen being underlined again as the one that would accept him as a whole. This is very important and it is in the storytelling. There is a reason why Elektra’s relationship with Matt was a parallel to Karen’s in episode 5, it was to show to the audience which relationship is the right one. A lot of people has issues with how Matt handled things but we’re here to talk about the writing and the second season was about Matt’s struggle with his double life and what he really wants. He spends the whole season losing control of his life, and it reflects on his choices.

Now on Karen deserving better, don’t you think Matt deserves better as well? Elektra was a toxic relationship that destroyed Matt’s life as he knew and drove away the two people that matters the most to him. And I’m not erasing Matt’s responsibility here, but no matter how we feel about his actions Matt is the hero of this story, it’s his show and so the writing is telling us to root for what is right for him and that is not Elektra. And he does deserve better. Matt is a complicated man, a tortured man (I mean he is a devoted catholic for crying out loud) he is messy so of course things won’t be easy for him. And that is what makes him interesting. And he did not just fucked up his relationship with Karen but with Foggy as well to whom he was also a bit of a douche. So it’s not about the romance here, but more about Matt’s choices and development and what he needs to fix it. And he does in the third season, he is heading in that direction.

In Defenders Matt was holding onto Matt Murdock and then in season 3 he was holding onto Daredevil. Matt never had a season in which he was not struggling with this. And part of the reason why his relationships don’t work is because of that. But now at the end of the third season we will finally see Matt being fully himself and the people that matter the most to him accepting and understanding because that’s the natural progression of the writing. We had to go through all of this, we needed him to reach this point. And not only Matt but Karen needed some development too. And the third season stripped them of their lies and made them face the truth and when that happened we had one of the best scenes of the season (a little biased sorry) and that is the start of a new chapter for them.

Both Karen and Matt deserve better and the better is themselves, a better version of themselves. Honesty and truth and trust. And that’s what we have been watching since the first season, that’s the story. That’s what the writers are telling us. They are the right, just not right now. They need to learn, they need to deserve, they need to reach that point where they’ll have the understanding and trust that we know they can have, and we know because it’s underlined, it’s being shown to us since the start. It’s a slow burn, beautiful and difficult and complicated and messy… just like Matt’s life. Just like Karen’s life. Just like all the good love stories are.

Many people has issues with Matt and Karen’s relationship, but from the writing and storytelling perspective is great. And is the direction the show will keep taking. They have been developing this romance since the very first episode of the show. Charlie Cox absolutely loves and understand the relationship because he knows Matt Murdock better than anyone, and he is right. Karen is Matt’s soulmate. It’s more deep and slow. And now to finish, something he said that sums up everything I said in a less annoying way:

What we never tried to do, and I think I’m speaking for the writers of the series as well, was to make the beautiful story with Karen – Deborah Ann Woll - look like a rebound relationship. Ultimately it’s a much deeper bond, which lasts fifty years and ironically is more important exactly because it doesn’t draw from roof-jumping, but from everyday life. I think if Karen and Matt could find a way to match their respective darknesses, they would find an excellent balance.

[embersrevived]

Questions Meme 

Tagged By: @sunflowercecil​

1. What is your name? “Nadir Darvish.” 

2. Do you know why you’re named that?” “Well ... I believe my parents specifically wanted their first and only child to have a name that either honored an important aspect of Parzian culture and tradition or was an homage to a renowned monarch in Parzian history, and eventually they decided on the latter. Nadir (Nader) Shah, if I recall correctly, was a king from a former dynasty who was renowned for his ingenuity and acumen, both as a statesman and military general. His military campaigns and exploits during his reign were so great that he has actually been dubbed ‘the second Alexander’ by some historians. I think my parents had been betting on having a male child at first, but then just decided to roll with it after I was born, haha.”

“Funny thing is, a lot of people just automatically assume that my name is meant to be some sort of ‘edgy’ moniker, like the antithesis of the word ‘zenith’ or something when that actually isn’t the case. Though that certainly doesn’t mean I appreciate the endearing little opposite-nickname that I was recently given, Zen-Zen, any less...~”  She furtively winks at @plague-doctor-jules

3. Are you single or taken? “Single. as a Pringle” 

4. Have any abilities or powers?

“Besides bringing all around me to their knees groaning with my tacky humor? Well ... incantation-wise, I feel I am somewhat proficient in spells that have to do with small-scale, temporary immobilization, like temporary stunning. Though I really refrain from utilizing such spells unless I truly feel the need to do so. The stunning spells really only are effective on small creatures, e.g. rats, roaches, etc. that I feel need to be halted in their tracks before being able to deal with them accordingly. Also some might argue that my horrendous jokes and puns constitute some sort of low-key ‘evil’ ability in themselves, haha.”

5. Stop being a Mary Sue.

“Stop being an ‘idealized, seemingly perfect character? ... Hahahaha! How droll of you, when everyone knows that I’m practically the most awkward and gauche potato turtle in this here town. That’s a facetious jab at how I’m actually the complete and utter opposite of that, right? Right, it must be.” 

6. What’s your eye colour? “Very dark brown.” 

7. How about your hair colour?

“Very dark brunette, almost appearing even black from a distance.”

8. Have any family members?

“Yes, my mother and father, Setareh and Bardiya,  along with my maternal grandmother and grandfather, Roshanak and Cyrus. No siblings, though. I think after I was born, my parents decided that one was more than enough, hahaha ... I’ve been told that I was quite the troublesome little stinker as a tot.” 

9. Oh! How about pets?

“Well, I’m not sure if I should go about referring to my familiar as a pet, but my  albeit adorable call duck, Ordak is the only one I have currently. Back when I lived with my parents and not the magic shop, I did used to own a boisterous blue budgie, though ... someone forgot to close the door to his cage, and the little poopsie just chirped his wee heart out before suddenly taking off, never to be seen or heard from again.” 

10. That’s cool, I guess, now tell me something you don’t like.

“Well ... I must admit I don’t really appreciate people who are overly snippy or snarky just for the sake of it when it isn’t really necessary, or because they find it ‘quirky’, ‘trendy’, or ‘edgy’ to do so. Basically people who show little consideration for others’ feelings in general, especially if they do so because they believe their elevated social status or sense of ego gives them a pass to do so. And people who just find it absolutely acceptable to do away completely with common courtesy when dealing or speaking with you just because they decide they don’t like, click with, or understand you as a person, or they personally find some attributes of yours irksome.”

“I mean, I feel you must always at least try to put a conscious effort into politely and tactfully dealing with even those you don’t jive well with or like much, I think. Especially because there will always be people you find yourself not being overly fond of, or who aren’t overly fond of you, there is just too much effort and negative energy to be put into going out of one’s way to not be civil towards others, at least initially.” 

“Also overly arrogant and condescending individuals, lord knows I’ve dealt with more than a fair share of those in my time, both in and out of  the realm of academia. Overly pretentious and critical individuals in general also. Though ... perhaps I have been too verbose and ranty in giving this answer, I do apologize. I ... I do tend to talk a lot, haha. In summation: just overly inconsiderate individuals in general.” 

11. Do you have any hobbies/activities that you like to do?

“Writing poetry at times, sketching, drawing, reading, occasionally engaging in mischievous antics, etc. ...” 

12. Have you ever hurt anyone in any way before?

“Oh, I’m sure ... I mean, I have certainly gotten into disagreements and all that with people in the past, and in doing so the distressed, angry tone that I may have utilized in the heat of it all may have hurt some feelings in the past. And I’d almost always feel some sort of guilt afterwards, even if things wound up being patched up and resolved betwixt myself and the individual with whom I’d had the spat. Though it is never my intention to go out of my way to make anyone feel badly about themselves or hurt anyone’s feelings.”

“But if you meant physically, no I don’t think - ... Wait. Wait. That one time, when the Ginger Floof  Julian barged into the shop and scared the bejeezus out of me with his overly dramatic, villainous entrance, of course how could I so easily forget ...” However, she does avert her gaze to the ground in shame as she recalls the events of that fateful night. “Well ... I did hurt Julian that ... one time when I threw that glass bottle during the invasion that one night, but I ... I didn’t know who he was at the time, and I certainly had zero idea as to what his intentions were ... though that doesn’t mean I don’t still feel the occasional pang of guilt, especially when I specifically recall that graphic image of the blood pooling and dripping down his cheek as a result of the injury inflicted around his eye.”

A sad, remorseful look engulfs the apprentice’s face before she snaps out of the flashback. “Ah ... I do apologize, ehr ... next question, please.” 

13. Ever… killed anyone before?

“No. Though I’ve perhaps come close to doing so with my barrage of gods-awful puns” 

14. What kind of animal are you?

“I have been told by a few in the past that because of my more timid nature, I can be akin to a small rodent, like a mouse or a hamster, at times. Though my familiar is currently a wee baby call duckling who, though rather sweet and cute, can be quite the boisterous little stinker at times, which I’ve been told is apparently another side of me that is ‘unlocked’ once I get to know people and am coaxed out of my shell. So I guess it’s somewhat fitting in that sense, haha.” 

15. Name your worst habits?

“I tend to become distracted fairly easily, I reluctantly admit. Also, I ... I tend to allow my insecurities and anxieties take control and cause me to make decisions or act in ways that ultimately prove to be counterproductive. Also over analyzing things, people, and situations almost to the point of obsession, to the point where I find myself often skeptical and cynical of other’s motives and sincerity, allowing my insecurities and fears to hinder and inhibit me mentally and socially.” 

16. Do you look up to anyone?

“I look up to any individual who remains steadfast and dedicated to their cause or line of work, whether it be academic, scientific, humanitarian, etc. in nature, and shows a genuine interest in acquiring knowledge in their selected field of interest and applying that knowledge for the betterment of others. I admire anyone who has defined themselves and devoted their purpose to the likes of altruism, benevolence, and kindness. A certain auburn-haired, fugitive physician would be the quintessential example of this, along with his lovely and equally sweet sister.” 

“I also admire those who yet manage to be levelheaded and resolute in the face of adverse situations, those who seem to know how to improvise, adapt, and persist in the face of any given hardship, or who devote themselves to supporting and assisting others finding themselves in such situations. My father comes to mind.”

17. Are you straight, gay, or bisexual?

“I believe I’m straight ... Though these sorts of things have been said to not be entirely black and white, with it being a spectrum and all, so who can really say for sure?” 

18. Do you go to school?

“Been there, done that, haha.” 

19. Ever wanted to marry and have kids one day?

“I’ve never even really ... been in a relationship before, so I must admit that the thought of marriage has been a more distant one, and children even more so. One step at a time I guess? Ahahahaha ...” Sweat drop. 

“Though me, in any sort of relationship, with my awkward and anxious tendencies? Is that even possible” 

20. Do you have any fans?

“Why yes, I do as a matter of fact.~” And with that, she proceeds to whip out an intricately designed, vibrantly hued hand fan that Asra had brought her back from one of his previous travels. And yes, she knows very well that is not quite what the question meant. Something of a cheeky grin forms on her visage shortly after giving this response. 

21. What are you most afraid of?

“...Failure. My internalized insecurities and anxieties mentally obstructing my path and goals and clouding my vision and perception of the future. Not being good enough, ineptitude, then possibly dying after having ultimately accomplished little more than becoming carrion for the microbes and worms to feast upon. ... Wow, that definitely came out darker than I had initially intended, ehr ... sorry about that.” 

22. What do you usually wear?

“Ah, just the usual casual dresses, shirts, and pants, truthfully nothing fancy in the least.” 

23. What’s one food that tempts you?

“Ohh ... I’m sure there are a myriad of dishes that could be used to answer this, but if I had to settle on one? Pomegranate chicken, especially like my mother makes it, especially when coupled with this fizzy carbonated yogurt beverage that we have back home in Parzia ... you’d have to actually see and try it if you don’t know what I’m referring to, haha; it sounds a bit weird to those who didn’t grow up with it.” 

24. Am I annoying to you?

“Ah, no, not at all ... am I annoying to you? I do hope ... that I haven’t been overly loquacious or rambling in giving my answers? If so, my apologies.” 

25. Well, it’s still not over!

“Aha, great. Wait ... that wasn’t meant sardonically, I promise, a-apologies if it came out sounding like that. Please continue.” 

26. What social class are you?

“I’d say more of the middle class, perhaps more on the lower end. Though we know that in the eyes of a certain gilded and flamboyant noble, that we are all seen equally as commoners and peasants, haha.” 

27. How many friends do you have?

“Uh ... well, I definitely consider Mas- ... I mean Asra to be a kind companion and friend ... and then there is Julian, whose company I’ve come to be rather at ease with to the point of engaging in regular banter and teasing. Portia is positively delightful and lovely as well. The Devorak duo is a true blessing, seriously. Such sweet, benevolent siblings. Selasi is rather amiable too, and I’ve had many a pleasant conversation with him every time I venture out into the market. Nadia has always been kind and polite to me, though I am not too sure if she’d regard me as a ‘friend’ just yet ... And I don’t think Muriel likes me very much, unfortunately.” 

28. What are your thoughts on pie?

“Aha, I’m not picky at all when it comes to saccharine treats, I pretty much think they’re all savory, cakes, pies, candies, etc. Though that doesn’t mean I indulge myself in them of course, haha. Certainly could do without anymore junk in the trunk” 

29. Favourite drink?

“Something known as the Parzian fizzy yogurt drink, basically exactly what the name says, plain yogurt mixed with carbonated water, with a pinch of salt and some mint to top it off.” 

30. What’s your favourite place?

“I don’t have one favorite place, to be honest ... Basically any place that is picturesque, serene, and allows me to pacify my nerves and be alone with my thoughts and away from the commotion of the general public, I guess. And I also must admit that the forbidden gardens in the abandoned courtyard that I visited with Julian that one time were quite lovely, I certainly wouldn’t mind revisiting that place.” 

31. Are you interested in anyone?

“Er ... W-well, I’m interested in a lot of people! Each and every individual has their own intriguing persona, a-after all ... Especially those towering, swaggering, cockily grinning types who tease yet become tomato-blushing, flustered messes the instant you give them even the smallest sample of their own medicine.” 

32. That was a stupid question…

“Ah, no, not really actually...” 

33. Would you rather swim in a lake or the ocean?

“The lake, at least I’m less likely to be encountering any aquatic creatures bearing sharp teeth in a freshwater body as opposed to the saline, haha. Also already having to experience one type of “shark week” is more than enough.” 

34. What’s your type?

“Er ... Well, I guess just someone who’s kind, sincere, considerate, with a good sense of humor. Because honestly, even if someone is generally perceived as being ‘classically attractive’ or whatnot, it really matters little if their personality is unpleasant or lacking in general. To be honest, I really don’t have a specific ‘type’ so to speak...” 

35. Any fetishes?

Something of a dumbfounded expression appears on the apprentice’s face, though she is quick to vehemently shake her head. “What? Uhhh .... no? Not that I ... know of? No. Ahem, next question, if you please.” A crimson hue proceeds to engulf her cheeks. 

36. Camping or outdoors?

“Uhh ... wait, camping takes place outdoors? ... Unless you mean camping vs. just walking about and enjoying the outdoors in general, in which case I must say the latter. Just ... the thought of all sorts and species of creepy crawlies clambering over me while I’m trying to sleep in a tent would make camping the less preferable option.” 

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Tagging: @plague-doctor-jules​ @conceitedxglory​ @nevivorona​ @asrage​ @humortremors​ @caesiis​ @unlicensedmartyr​ @bluemoontm​ @mnemosys​ @bitters-enthusiast @strsha

Questions: 

1. What is your name?

2. Do you know why you’re named that?”

3. Are you single or taken?

4. Have any abilities or powers?

5. Stop being a Mary Sue.

6. What’s your eye colour?

7. How about your hair colour?

8. Have any family members?

9. Oh! How about pets?

10. That’s cool, I guess, now tell me something you don’t like.

11. Do you have any hobbies/activities that you like to do?

12. Have you ever hurt anyone in any way before?

13. Ever… killed anyone before?

14. What kind of animal are you?

15. Name your worst habits?

16. Do you look up to anyone?

17. Are you straight, gay, or bisexual?

18. Do you go to school?

19. Ever wanted to marry and have kids one day?

20. Do you have any fans?

21. What are you most afraid of?

22. What do you usually wear?

23. What’s one food that tempts you?

24. Am I annoying to you?

25. Well, it’s still not over!

26. What social class are you?

27. How many friends do you have?

28. What are your thoughts on pie?

29. Favourite drink?

30. What’s your favourite place?

31. Are you interested in anyone?

32. That was a stupid question…

33. Would you rather swim in a lake or the ocean?

34. What’s your type?

35. Any fetishes?

36. Camping or outdoors?

[vivianwritesaboutgames]

More Isn’t Always Better: Splatoon 2 and Overwatch

This is an essay I wrote in October of 2017 for my Multiplayer design class.

Player communication is a must to include in almost all multiplayer games, but especially so in online team based games. People need to communicate in order to work well as a team, so how do you allow and incentivize players to communicate? Most games, including Overwatch, use voice chat to solve this problem, but some also include methods of communication for those who don’t want to or can’t use voice chat. These can range from a very simple “Yes!” or “I died” to more complex phrases like “My Ultimate is ready” or “Defend the point,” but having more phrases to communicate doesn’t always lead to cooperation.

           In Overwatch, a competitive team based shooter, two teams of six players each attempt to accomplish a goal which varies by map. These goals can include moving an object from one end of the map to another, contesting a king of the hill style point on the map, etc. To communicate with their team, the player has access to both voice chat, text chat, and a wheel of pre-recorded phrases their character can say. Each player has access to the following phrases from the wheel: “Hello”, “Understood”, “Group Up Here”, “Thank You”, “I Need Healing”, saying the status of their ultimate meter, and more character specific emotes and voice lines that the player can get from loot boxes. Apart from those acquired from loot boxes, all players have access to all of these phrases, some such as “Understood” can be bound to a keypress and be used to say even more phrases like “Move the Payload” while looking at an object in the game world. However, this wealth of options to communicate has led to Overwatch’s community becoming incredibly toxic.

           In a popular online multiplayer game, toxicity is inevitable. When people have anonymity and can essentially say whatever they like without consequence there will be those who abuse the system to abuse and insult others. That doesn’t mean that forms of open communication shouldn’t exist, but there should be some way to punish unsportsmanlike behavior. Overwatch does include a way to report this behavior, but players are unsure if it actually does anything as no feedback is received to show that action was taken by the moderators against the offending player. To avoid toxicity in the first place, players can turn off voice chat and text chat, though they cannot opt out of chat entirely as phrases will still be heard and displayed and abused by players spamming certain phrases. Overwatch gives players a wealth of options to communicate, but as a result it is very difficult for players to avoid toxicity.

           On the opposite end of the communication spectrum, there is Splatoon 2, a competitive team based shooter. In Splatoon 2, players attempt to cover the majority of the map in their team’s color of ink, escort an object to a certain point of the map, or control a certain place on the map. The game focuses on mobility in that players can turn into a squid to swim through their color of ink. In contrast to Overwatch, Splatoon 2 offers a total of 3 ways to communicate during gameplay. By pressing up or down on the D-Pad, players can say the following phrases: “This Way!”, “Booyah!”, and “Ouch” which is only available when the player has died and replaces the “This Way!” command. While there are fewer phrases, they are more generic and can be used in multiple situations. For example, the “Booyah!” command could be used to congratulate another player, to say “I just killed an enemy player or multiple opponents,” or even “We’re winning, good job!” In essence, it is a positive exclamation. “This Way!” and “Ouch!” can be used to tell your team where to go next or where enemies are, and generally indicate a location where action needs to be taken. Outside of matches, Splatoon 2 also includes a way for players to display messages in the game’s hub through drawings. These drawings must be shared through either twitter or Facebook in order to be posted and are heavily moderated as well, with players having a multitude of options in reporting inappropriate or mean-spirited posts. This system has resulted in a thriving community of artists as well as generally positive messages, for example over the summer of 2017 there was a flood of transgender positive posts and even though there were some who were angry at this development they were few in number and easily reported.

           Splatoon 2 avoids toxicity by limiting the ways players can communicate, but toxicity does still exist in the game. During matches, toxic players will “Squid Bag”, or rapidly switching between Squid and Kid forms, to insult others. Other ways players can be toxic not unique to Splatoon 2 are players repeatedly targeting an opponent instead of completing the objective, killing players just as they spawn, or disconnecting from a match they are losing.

Disconnecting players is a common problem Overwatch and Splatoon 2 face, though they attempt to solve it in different ways. In Overwatch, the game attempts to find another player to fill the empty spot, though this often results in the joining player immediately seeing their team lose before even being able to pick their character. Splatoon 2 does nothing; the disconnecting player’s team is just at a disadvantage for the rest of the match. While matches in the game are very short, about 5 minutes, it feels unfair that players who were already losing the match no longer have a chance to make a comeback. Both games also attempt to punish people who disconnect, by reducing experience earned and a temporary ban respectively, though they are very weak punishments that don’t serve to discourage disconnections.

A significant challenge in designing a multiplayer game is trying to ensure that players are courteous to each other and encourage positive player interaction. There are a few options: rewarding players for good behavior or helping others; punishing players for bad behavior; or letting players police themselves and doing nothing. Overwatch and Splatoon 2 take the latter two approaches, with Overwatch focusing on punishment (however lenient) and Splatoon 2 focusing on letting players police themselves.

Not many games attempt to reward good player behavior, but Final Fantasy XIV: A Realm Reborn (FFXIV) has a mentor system in which experienced players and new players are given access to a special chat channel in which mentors can give advice and help novices. The reward for becoming a mentor is a crown symbol next to your name in game. This system hasn’t had much of an effect on the game’s community, however, as some players become mentors and proceed to not help players it has improved the experience for some starting players though.

In her book Communities of Play: Emergent Cultures in Multiplayer Games and Virtual Worlds, Celia Pearce writes about The Gathering of Uru (TGU), a group of players who met in a now defunct game called Uru: Ages Beyond Myst in which players worked together to solve puzzles. This group has stuck together even after the game they all met in was shut down, so obviously they must have had a very positive experience playing the game and interacting with each other. Since Uru was a cooperative, not competitive game, it fostered an environment in which players could easily form relationships with one another. FFXIV is also a mostly cooperative experience, however when players interact it is usually with people from other servers who they will never see again or people who are already a part of their circle of friends or guild, so the type of game and how frequently players see each other is also a factor in how players will interact.

While Uru had puzzle solving, according to people Pearce interviewed most players focused on socializing and while there are many games with this focus their communities aren’t generally considered toxic. So how can competitive games encourage players to be nice to each other aside from rewards and punishments?

One solution is to match players of similar skills together, if players feel like they played a fair and balanced match they are less likely to become angry with each other. You can determine player skill in many ways such as matches won, kills per match, etc. Although there will be some players who are mismatched for one reason or another, this system would help more players than hurt.

Another way is for players to rate each other after a match based on various criteria, like teamwork or helpfulness.  Positive rated players would be matched with other positive or neutral players, while negatively rated players would be matched with other negatively rated players or eventually outright banned. This could be abused by some players, or not used at all, but even if only some use it properly it would help to sort out unsportsmanlike conduct.

A third solution is to give equal rewards to winners and losers, or to not punish losers. Competitive games often reward winners with items or experience. To discourage players from leaving a match early, the game will give them the same reward if they win or lose. While this would help with some disconnecting players, there are those who just can’t handle losing and would disconnect anyway or some who wouldn’t see a point in trying if they get the same rewards win or lose.

In conclusion, outside of social games it is difficult to encourage players to be kind to one another due to multiple reasons such as the anonymity of the internet or knowing you will most likely never see that person again. There are many ways to encourage kindness, but each comes with its own drawbacks. When designing a multiplayer game, a designer should assume the worst case scenario when it comes to player behavior, design their game around that, and adjust the game as necessary according to the needs of the players.

 Bibliography

Overwatch, Blizzard, 2016-2017, Video Game

Splatoon 2, Nintendo, 2017, Video Game

Final Fantasy XIV: A Realm Reborn, Square Enix, 2013, Video Game

Pearce, Celia. Communities of Play: Emergent Cultures in Multiplayer Games and Virtual Worlds. MIT Press, 2011.

[saeitoshi]

Alright, this is going to be a theory post first of all focusing on Flame possibly cheating to help Soulburner whenever he uses his “Burning Draw” skill. The overall question being addressed is: Are the Ignis cheating to help their duelists win?

If Flame cheating for Soulburner is true, then the possibility opens up to Ai also cheating for Playmaker with his “Storm Access” skill. However, there’s not really any concrete evidence for this case that I can think of from the top of my head (plus I unfortunately don’t have the time to rewatch all 50+ episodes), but I will address this case as much as I can.

The post will wrap up with the significance of this theory if it does end up being true, which focuses mainly on the information we learn in Episode 43. I did not expect this part to be such a long section at all, but re-watching the episode surprised me with much more potential foreshadowing than I expected.

A quick heads up, this is by no means defending the writing, but simply a theory that may explain the purpose behind the direction that the writers have taken. 

1. Flame’s potential cheating with Soulburner’s “Burning Draw.”

A major issue that has many worried is the constant Soulburner wins since his appearance, especially the back-to-back victories against Go and Blue Girl. Could it be purely poor writing? Perhaps. However, it could also be exceptional writing as it deliberately shows his victories repeatedly. All of Soulburner’s wins so far ultimately rely on his skill “Burning Draw,” which depletes his LP to 100 but allows him to draw a card for every 1000 LP he lost. 

What if his skill, however, is being manipulated by Flame? What if whenever Soulburner uses “Burning Draw,” Flame hijacks the duel disk and shuffles the deck so that Soulburner draws the exact card that he needs to win? This would give reason to showing Soulburner winning again and again, to emphasize that he only wins through Flame’s cheating, and not through his own prowess. 

For Flame and Soulburner’s case, this post is only going to be looking at Episode 56, since I feel like the earlier episodes with them didn’t give any obvious hints towards this possibility. If this theory is true, then I believe that the writers deliberately placed these hints in this particular duel where Soulburner was being pushed to his limits, where he struggled the most in the entire series thus far.

It started in the middle of the duel when Soulburner is down to 900 LP at the end of his turn. When Flame notes that Soulburner is whining, he says this:

Now these comments by themselves can be easily played off as Flame being the sarcastic AI that he is, as even Soulburner notes, but he continues on:

I’m going to analyze these two lines first before showing more screenshots.

a) For the first line, Flame is repeating the exact words that Soulburner said in reference to Soulburner praising Blue Girl for her dueling skills as the charismatic duelist and hero of LINK VRAINS, and yet this line still holds meaning in Flame’s case. 

If Flame is using it in the same manner as Soulburner did, then Flame “being an excellent AI partner” that gives Soulburner “the edge” over Blue Girl is an objective truth. If Flame was simply the “compassionate observer” that he teases that he is, then this is less of an objective form of assistance, but more of a subjective form based on feelings and emotions that doesn’t necessarily actually help Soulburner with his duel. An objective form of help is more concrete, like something that can actually affect the end result of the duel. 

b) The second line is much more apparent, as Flame notes that with his help, Soulburner’s “dormant abilities may bloom.” This line implies that Flame can do much more than simply cheer from the sidelines to aid him in the duel. Especially in the context of duels in VRAINS, Flame could be referencing to Soulburner’s skill when he says “abilities.”

Moving on to later on in the duel, by the end of Blue Girl’s next turn, Soulburner states that he is in a “pretty bad situation.” Flame responds as so:

Flame mentions that there is ONE card that will turn the duel around, and both Soulburner and Flame know exactly which one it is (the card “Fusion of Fire”). Notice the LARGE amount of cards in Soulburner’s deck, and yet Flame insists that it is still possible to win. However, it would take a miracle to make it happen with that many cards left in the deck. 

Soulburner then proceeds to draw, but is not able to draw the card he needs to win and says this line:

Flame’s response to this is the most intriguing to me, and made me start thinking about the theory in the first place:

Although again, this can be played off as his sarcastic self, another way to interpret this is that Soulburner never relied on destiny in the first place to help win any of his duels, including those that he won with his skill. Soulburner instead had other ways that ensured his victory, and that his amazing draws that won him duels were not simply due to luck.

Flame continues his response with this:

This can also be interpreted as Flame not wanting Soulburner to lose, but Flame is purposefully taunting Soulburner to use his skill. However Flame keeps mentioning to Soulburner to forget about destiny, because it’s irrelevant in the outcome of the duel itself. 

Of course when Soulburner does use his skill, lo and behold:

Soulburner gets the card he needed. Flame also mentions destiny a third time over the course of a couple of minutes, as if to imply to Soulburner that he doesn’t need a “Goddess of Destiny” to draw the right card; he just needs Flame to do it.

This basically results in the end of the duel, so there’s not much else to mention for Flame and Soulburner’s case. In my opinion, this was the most vocal that Flame has been during a duel with Soulburner, which brought his comments into my awareness even more than it normally would.

An ending note: after the duel when Soulburner praises Blue Girl for becoming stronger, Flame ends it off repeating this same line again:

Flame, I get it, you’re important. 

On a more serious note, repetition can be a very important factor in the context of foreshadowing. Similar to how Flame kept on mentioning “destiny,” the fact that he continues to say that Soulburner won because he had “an excellent AI” to help him starts to bring this fact to the viewers’ attention, that perhaps Flame was actually the deciding factor of Soulburner winning the duel, through his possible manipulation of Soulburner’s skill in the final turn. 

2. Ai’s potential cheating with Playmaker’s “Storm Access.”

Like I mentioned before, there is not really any obvious hints that I know of which Ai gives away about possibly cheating (and therefore no screenshots to accompany this section). Even so, there may possibly be foreshadowing in the previous episodes that I'm not aware of, but won’t be addressed here unfortunately. 

However, I will address the possible implications pertaining to Ai’s influence with Playmaker’s skill “Storm Access,” which allows Playmaker to grab a new card from the Data Storm when his LP reaches 1000 or lower. Similar to Soulburner, Playmaker has not yet had any losses in the series, and Playmaker’s winning streak all started with the first duel in Episode 2 when he first used his skill. 

We all know that by this current arc, Ai is able to fully manipulate the Data Storm where he can freely summon and dissipate it at will. However the question remains, how much control did he have before this?

In Episode 1, Ai was able to at least summon the Data Storm, but whether that was the full extent of his control is unknown. Although it is possible that after leaving Yusaku for 3 months, he went from having almost no control of the Data Storm to having complete control of it, the power gap seems to be an extreme one to leave off-screen. However, what if instead of it being a large power jump, Ai actually had much more control than was initially assumed?

By Episode 42, we can tell that Ai could not control the instability of the Data Storm, so what else could he have control of if he did have more than we thought? The cards available for Playmaker. 

Again, I’m not aware of any blatant signs that Ai has dropped to imply this, but if Flame does prove to actually hijack Soulburner’s skill, then it is also a viable possibility that Ai would do the same. Ai has been known to lie to Playmaker before with no ill intentions, and since we know that Ai from the beginning was aware that Playmaker was his duelist from the Lost Incident, Ai would be more than willing to influence the cards that Playmaker would receive in the Data Storm to help him win his duels. 

3. What is the significance of this theory to the plot if it’s true?

The significance is essentially found in the major plot point of this series. Revisiting Episode 43, Ryoken explains the entire backstory of Dr. Kogami and the Ignis, and talks about Dr. Kogami’s prediction after “billions of simulations:”

If we assume the “billions of simulations” are in fact true, then the Ignis will be the cause of humanity’s downfall. This heavily implies that there will be tension between humans and AIs in the near future. However, if there are humans like Yusaku and Takeru who get along with their Ignis, then how would this ultimately become an issue? As long as the winning team (aka Playmaker and Soulburner) keep winning, the end result should be that humans and AIs live peacefully. 

There are two possible reasons that this could occur:

a) Playmaker and Soulburner both lose and SOL Technologies/the other unknown enemy begin to mistreat the AIs and trigger a war between humans and AIs. 

This is certainly a possible route that can happen, but it’s less likely of the two. The main reason is that Dr. Kogami never predicts that only some of the Ignis will be the cause of humanity’s end, but rather all of the Ignis play a certain role in this, including Ai and Flame. 

In this first situation, Ai and Flame would both still stay by Playmaker and Soulburner’s side regardless of whether they lost or not. Therefore they would not be able to have any part in being a part of humanity’s enemy. 

(Also if this theory also becomes true, then there is no way Playmaker and Soulburner would ever lose with Ai and Flame’s help and this reason becomes a completely moot point.)

b) Ai and Flame ends up being the ones distrusted by the duelist counterparts, and inadvertently trigger the war between humans and AIs. 

This reason is more plausible, especially because we know that the Ignis are more than capable of lying when they need to after Ai’s example. 

There’s no denying that both Yusaku and Takeru have a deep bond with their AIs. Even though Yusaku denied having any trust in Ai early on in Episode 42, there have been subtle hints in the following episodes that show that Yusaku does care about Ai.

The trust that Yusaku has with Ai isn’t necessarily spoken, given Yusaku’s reserved nature, but rather in Yusaku’s facial expressions. Throughout the series, there are even moments of silence in some episodes where you simply observe Yusaku’s expressions to understand him as a character (this could even be made into its own post). Regardless of whether he speaks it or simply shows it with his expressions, Yusaku does view Ai as a close companion. 

However, what happens if Yusaku and Takeru’s trust between Ai and Flame dissolves? The tension between humans and AIs that already exists (as we saw with Windy’s distrust in humans in Episode 55) would grow even more, and without any Ignis/human pair able to mitigate the tension, it would only continue to augment through the help of SOL Technologies/the other unknown enemy. 

If this second reason does end up being the correct one, how would the trust between the two pairs be lost? We can find the answer in this theory. If indeed this theory is true, then Yusaku and Takeru’s trust in their AI partners can easily be lost if they find out that all of their duels have been rigged by them. 

Dr. Kogami continues his explanation further: 

Even Dr. Kogami himself is shocked to find out that AIs will become enemies to humans. He believed that the Ignis only have good intentions for humans, and that they could coincide peacefully with each other.

Then we can start to wonder, what if both the simulations and Dr. Kogami’s belief that the Ignis simply want to help people are correct? 

It could easily be possible, again, with this theory. If Flame and Ai actually are cheating, they have pure intentions to assist Soulburner and Playmaker to help them win their matches. However, this could also lead to a potential strain in their trust if the two duelists ever found out about it, leading to an eventual tension between humans and AIs.

In fact, if we keep listening in on Ryoken’s conversation with his father, when Ryoken asks why the Ignis would do such a thing, this is what Dr. Kogami explains: 

These are the exact words that Dr. Kogami says is the primary cause. Let’s dissect these two lines for a moment.

c) In the first line, he mentions that the AIs will essentially be watching over humans. If we think about the current Ignis that are with their duelists, they are basically “supervising” humans, specifically their human partner from the Lost Incident.

Now we start to think, what is the actual definition of “supervision” by the AIs that Dr. Kogami is referring to? Is it simply just observing, or giving emotional encouragement? Or is it something more practical, like, for instance, useful assistance to make sure that their duelists will be okay no matter what? (a.k.a. Flame and Ai cheating through Soulburner’s and Playmaker’s skills to ensure that those two always win.)

d) The second line is much more prominent when you align it with this theory. The concept of Flame and Ai cheating through their “supervision” would cause people (i.e. Soulburner and Playmaker) to view AIs as their enemy due to their distrust of them. Once again, this would lead to the inevitable clash between humans and AIs. 

This is basically all of the information provided in Episode 43, and there’s not much to say beyond this. I do want to emphasize that in regards to this theory, if the humans and AIs do become enemies because of everything listed, Hanoi would still ironically be the main culprit that started it all. 

This in itself could also be its own post, but basically Hanoi were the ones who attacked Cyberse first, the ones who ultimately caused the reunion of humans and Ignis who were living in their own separate worlds. They were the ones who instigated the distrust between humans and AIs (which is confirmed by Windy’s distrust in humans after the Hanoi incident). 

Even though the distrust would be amplified due to this theory, the original cause would still be from Hanoi’s hands, in spite of their ultimate goal to avoid conflict between humans and AIs. 

[dangan-happy]

(Beep boop, I’m stuck in the chicken coop)

This goes out to anyone idrc who

okay so school has been stressing me out lately

1. I have two group projects going on and I feel like I’m the only one making any effort on both of them because I’m an expert on both the topics that they’re on and I just want my team members to put in effort and every time I ask if they could do something they say “no, I think you can do it” etc.

2. I have two huge tests tomorrow and I’m really a scared and we barely had any time to study and I’m really concerned and I just am super nervous

3. I have piles of homework all the time

4. my teachers force me out of my comfort zone, as I am an introvert and they literally will force me to engage in social interaction even when I protest

so uh yeah

please help I need comfort

Hello anon, I hope you don't mind that I took the opportunity to answer this. School in itself is a stressful topic, but judging by the layout of your ask, there seems to be a few specific things. Ah, group projects, I can relate to that problem quite well. Two at once? My deepest sympathies. The actions of those on both teams are incredibly childish. Even though you may be an expert doesn't mean that you are obligated to do everything on your own. I would argue back when you get those answers, don't let them push you to get their way. As difficult as that is, I think that doing so will potentially get you the results you need. If they still do not cooperate, I would either refuse to do anything else and see how they react, or mention to your teachers that you've been pressured to do everything as your peers are refusing to do any of the work. While it may seem easier to just do it, this is clearly causing you a rather large amount of stress. I would stand up for yourself and fight back against this. However I do not recommend physically attacking any of them, no matter how much they may deserve it.

Alright, I will now proceed to the next item on your list. It seems that your school falls under the category of assigning multiple tests at the same time, and that's unfortunate to hear. You didn't have time to study, and there was really nothing you could do. In this case, if you do badly, it isn't your fault. You weren't provided with the adequate time to prepare, and thus any shortcomings are a result of the teacher. No matter what happens, it isn't your fault. I'm truly sorry that you're stuck with this unfairness. Just do your best, and know that it is enough no matter what the results are. I'm assuming that you mean that you never have a break from vast amounts of homework. There are a few things I believe you could try, the first being organization. You could try to space out the work you have and create a schedule that allows you to finish your homework as efficiently as possible. Another possibility is asking for extensions on certain things so you have more time to complete things if you need to. The last idea I can think of is to work on homework throughout the school day if you have time. I've done this before, and I was able to accomplish a lot during the day leaving me with less to do after school.

I can relate quite strongly to the fourth item on the list as well. I'm a highly introverted person as well, and it's my preference to stay out of social interactions. I don't believe that your teachers should have the right to force you to do something that so obviously makes you uncomfortable. I would potentially talk to those teachers after class and tell them how uncomfortable their pressuring makes you feel, and how you would prefer to not be the center of attention in class. That seems like a very reasonable request to me, and one that the teachers can easily respect. While I do believe it's good to practice socializing when you can to prepare yourself for situations like these, I don't agree with the teacher's methods of forcing you to do this. If anything, that just causes more anxiety and stress. Once again, I am truly sorry that you have so much to deal with. I sincerely hope that some of the things I said in this ask are helpful to you, and if not, I apologize. As difficult as this seems, I'm confident that you can handle this. I know it's a lot, but you have the ability to handle these problems. Much of it requires actions on other peoples' behalves, meaning that you yourself as an individual are doing quite well, and I'm sorry that the actions of others are causing so much stress in your life. Keep persevering, I know that's far easier said than done, but you are a capable, intelligent beautiful example of humanity at its finest. I implore you to not give up, I know this can get easier for you.

-

H-hi anon, it's been a while since I answered an ask, s-so I thought I'd try to help you out...Yeah, I really hate group projects. I usually end up doing all the work too, e-especially when it involves something I'm good at like drawing. That's totally unfair! Honestly I think you should mention to your teacher that you're the only one who did any actual work, so even if the project isn't finished, you would still get a decent grade since you actually did something unlike your group members. Also, I wouldn't do their parts for them. If you give them what they want, they're just going to do it again and again, s-so I think it's a good idea to put your foot down.

I think that Korekiyo's right, you didn't really have any time to prepare for the test, and that isn't on you. Just do your best, and whatever happens happens. Maybe you can do test corrections to boost your grade a little. Again, you didn't have enough time to study well, so you have to do the best with what you have. You could maybe mention to your teachers that they really didn't give enough study time. If they're classes that you have a hard time in, maybe you could try asking for some extra help with them, so if this happens again, you're a little more prepared. You d-don't have to though, it's j-just a suggestion...I'm really bad with homework, honestly, I usually don't do it so I can work on my anime, and that's obviously not a good thing. I think setting some time aside for each subject could help you get a little more organized. Once you get a good pattern going, hopefully you'll be able to finish things faster and have some more free time. If you have some time during the day where you have nothing else to do, I would try doing some homework then so you can free up some more time later if that makes sense.

W-wow, reading that last part made me feel a little anxious just thinking about it. I'm with you on that one, that sounds really unbearable and painful. I don't think the teachers should push you to do it. I think a little nudge is ok, but shoving you out of your comfort zone is unfair and harsh. Y-yeah, I'm a horrible example, but I think that practicing socializing is good. You should try to step a little bit out of your comfort zone regularly so you can build up a little more social tolerance, but I would also try to have a talk with your teacher about them not shoving you so far that you're uncomfortable. That's really not ok for them to do, and if anything they're probably making things worse...

Ok, d-did this help at all? I still don't think I'm very good at this...Comfort? Um, ok, hmm...Well I can say that you're doing the best you can in these situations, and a lot of it is out of your control. You as a person are doing fine, it's the people around you that need to work on some stuff...Even so, you can keep improving and finding ways to adapt. Y-you seem really resourceful and smart, so that shouldn't be a problem for you a-at all. Good luck ok? Sorry if this didn't help, but I'll be thinking of you and cheering you on from the sidelines.

-

Alrighty! I'll take this one! I'm not as well known as Monomi, but I'm still a teacher so I'll give this my best shot! Hi anon, I'm really sorry to hear that school is stressing you out. Honestly, the education system is a mess!...But don't tell anyone I told you that ok? Ok! In my opinion group projects should be fun! And what's going on with you obviously isn't fun. I have to agree with the other two, you shouldn't let them get away with pushing you around, and try to get some awareness to the situation. You don't have to do all of the work, and while I'm proud that you're an expert in certain areas, that doesn't mean you should get used for an easy grade. You seem like a really hard worker, and the only one who should get to cash in on that is you! Standing up for yourself is tough I know, but you've dealt with this long enough, and honestly those group members of yours really suck! They can quit being lazy and actually do something for themselves!

Aw man! What the heck is going on with the teachers at your school?! Don't they know that if people are going to actually learn something, they have to teach it well and give enough study time?! Jeez, that's just unfair! Unfortunately there doesn't seem to be much you can do except study while you can and do your best on the test. Yeah! Ryota had a good idea, if you can do test corrections to raise your grade, I think that's a great idea! It might still be a grade that's lower than you're used to, but you still tried your best with what you have. Hmm, the homework one is tricky...Usually with homework you have to do your best and endure. I do think a schedule will help. Sometimes school just takes the majority of your focus, and while that's pretty sucky, you're gonna make it to break eventually! Be sure to take breaks while doing homework so your brain can relax a little. I don't want you getting too burned out right off the bat! You can also ask for some extensions on assignments if you think that you're not going to finish everything in time, does that sound good?!

What the heck! I'm gonna show up at your school and drag you away to a better one! It's one hundred percent not ok for teachers to do that to you. I understand encouraging students to socialize, but if they're not ready or if they really don't want to, then that's that. Teachers don't have the right to force that stuff, and you should tell them how uncomfortable that makes you. While it's good to get out of your comfort zone, you shouldn't be shoved out of it out of the blue. Unlike those two, I'm an extrovert so I can't say that I have any personal experiences with that kind of thing, but I do have personal experience dealing with introverts! And I can say with confidence that metaphorically kicking them into the spotlight is not the way to go, I'm super sorry you have to deal with that!

Ok! I think we've covered all your little plot points, that was a super helpful layout by the way so thank you! Honestly, you have a whole lot going on, and it's really impressive that you've kept yourself afloat so long. Hopefully you can do a few small things to make things better on your end. You're like a little salmon swimming up stream. It's hard, and you're tired, but gosh dang it you're gonna make it and do a cool little jump thingy at the top when you get to the finish line! I know I speak for all three of us when I say that we believe in you, and we'll be cheering you on as you do your best!

[justoneday-namjoonii]

Playing With Fire [It burns, doesn't it?] Pt. 10

Genre/au: Mafia!au, Mature, Fluff, Angst. Violence and all that good mafia stuff. Warning: Depictions of graphic torture and brief/mentioned sexual assault. This story contains graphic imagery, mental health problems, mature subject matter, improper drug usage, suggestive language, self-medication, crude/unnerving behavior, toxic coping, intensity, bloodshed. If you’re easily triggered, please proceed with caution or don’t proceed. 

Members: Jungkook x Yoongi x Namjoon x Jin  x Hoseok x Jimin x Taehyung  Feat. Got7

Summary: Why am I hurting alone? Why am I in love alone?

| Prologue | Pt. 1 | Pt. 2 | Pt. 3 | Pt. 4 | Pt. 5 | Pt. 6 | Pt. 7 | Pt. 8 | Pt. 9 | Pt. 10 | Pt. 11 | P. 12 | Pt. 13 | Pt. 14 | Pt. 15 |

In the corner of the room sat a slumped over figure, head hung low and breathing shallow. He tried to stand but he was halted by his half-asleep legs and his hands cuffed to an exposed pipe running down the wall beside him. His breath hitched, he surveyed the silent room with heavy-lidded eyes, no windows, no bed, nothing; just a dark room and the eerie bliss of his thoughts. For some odd reason whoever tied him, probably Jimin, left him one free hand. Was this on purpose? It only took something about an inch long and thin and he'd be out of here. Not a wise decision for keeping someone like him contained. A sharp pain shot to his head suddenly, forcing his body to tense and ache at its own accord. The expected side effects of chloroform and whatever else they did to him while he was under. He pushed his body up the wall to give his lungs a better position to get a deep breath of air. As he exhaled his attention was brought to the faintest sound coming from behind that door.

Being dragged out and seeing Jimin was the last thing he could remember, mentally he put the pieces together as to where he was; Yoongi’s base, at least I think it is. The one day he tried to take an evening to bring flowers to his sisters grave and this happens, that's just his luck. The jiggling off the doorknob made him freeze, the click of the lock made him frown.

“Hello.” 

It took very little deciphering to conclude who was standing at the door, the voice, the face, even down to the way he walked made it obvious. He approached him with weighted steps, he's still so heavy footed, I wonder if he still doesn't notice? That thought had brought a blank expression to his face, leaving the man to scrutinize the boy's lack of concern for his own well-being. Jin stood a few feet from him, crossing his arms and waiting for him to acknowledge him properly. Taehyung shifted momentarily before looking up to lay eyes on his Hyung, he tilted his head. Jin.

“Jin...” He muttered, his eyes diverting down to the cuff on his wrist, I need these off, if they were off I could take his- No, what does he want? There went his train of thought, as particular as ever. Jin stalked a bit closer, the way Taehyung sat calmly urged him to draw nearer.

“Now, how did you end up in here Tae, Hm?” Jin asked sarcastically, of course, it was quite obvious to anyone where this conversation was going. Seeing as Tae was no longer looking him in the eye but instead at his feet and slowly back up to his eyes. He kept doing it. It was a tactic he developed years back, search his victims for an instrument to cause them pain if needed. A sadist on the go per se.

“You still do that?” He snickered, “Look, It's not gonna work here.” He squatted down to get eye level with him, leaving Tae no choice but to look at him. “You're not getting out of this. I came here with a proposition...why don't you join us?” He stood back up when Tae rolled his eyes, seemingly unimpressed by the threat, and or attempted offer. A sigh left his lips, shaking his head as Tae insisted on paying him no mind, that wasn’t a good an idea.

“Come on, Namjoon isn't coming to save you. He's only ever cared about himself, you of all people should know that.” He wasn't wrong.

Tae scoffed, chewing on his bottom lip, his brows creasing in thought, this was surely a unique set of circumstances. He wants me to join him? He leaned back against the wall, his hair still draping beautifully over his dark eyes as he scoffed like he were out of breath. “Namjoon is loyal to his family, unlike you...”

“Loyal? Where was he when they dumped your sister's body over the bridge, huh? Wasn't so loyal then was he...”

He twitched.

Jin smirked, seeing he remembered the infamous weak spot, his beloved sister. By the way his gaze darkened—his fist clenching and relaxing on their own, he had him right where he wanted him, just a little bit of pushing...

“You see...” He slipped his hands into his pockets with ease, “Y/N is my sister, you know what it's like to lose a sister, Tae. You know where I'm coming from. And on the subject of loyalty? Kim Namjoon shouldn't even be in the same sentence. Your sister went in that building and he never went back to save her, and he couldn’t but he wouldn’t, he saved himself.” He hissed, the memory only agitating him more.

“Namjoon left her in a burning building, what is wrong with you? You act like it never happened. He hurt you Tae, got your sister killed and it's amazing how you still follow him around like a damn puppy, I can give you a better life Tae, a life with less pain.”

He just stared blankly.

“I'll admit it, you're good.” He snickered. “Her death really did something to you...” He pried, but still not receiving the reaction he wanted. Needed.

He continued. “You push people to their breaking point and let them tear themselves apart while you watch it all unfold, that's an acquired occupation given your background...Namjoon used to say that people have what's coming to them, that there's no in-between in this cruel world, black or white, good or bad. Sadly, your Noona was in between, that's why he got rid of her.”

Deeper, deeper, the wound just gets deeper.

Taehyung yanked at the restraints for the first time, making the cuffs clink against the metal pipe and Jin actually stepped back for a second, fearing he might just get out, but those thoughts were quickly put away at the realization that Tae was capable of a lot of things but the pipe could hold him.

He laughed, walking closer to assert the fact that he has won. “Aw, did I touch a nerve?”

In a split second, the pipe was ripped from the wall, but still attached to his wrist. He swung and soon Jin was pinned to the floor.

“Agh!- Get’em off of me! Wei get the hell in here and help me!” 

His once freshly dry cleaned suit becoming wrinkled and undone. He managed to throw his fist at Tae’s jaw, immediately bruising his baby soft skin, it was like he was soulless. Arcane eyes, heaving chest, he cracked. Grunts and heavy breathing were heard from him as he wailed on Jin, his jaw clenched tight as he held Jin’s collar and used his still cuffed hand to cause the damage.

Jin blocked his face with his arms and finally, Wei ran into the room, staring in shock at first. Seeing Tae onto of Jin, the broken cement from the wall near the two of them. Wei didn't know how to attack, Jin was thrashing underneath Taehyung, trying to get away from the unhinged man and he was pretty hesitant to challenge Tae right now.

“Get him off of me!” Jin barked his command, snapping Wei out of it finally. He managed to pull Tae off for a few short seconds and he even raised his fist to fight but the pipe chained to his wrist was now the source of his misery. 

A muffled groan left Wei’s mouth and he was hunched over, holding his head in his hands as the throbbing intensified and the hearing in his right ear was near nonexistent. Tae had swung the pipe at Wei’s head so hard that you could hear the sound the metal pipe hitting his skull.

In no time a swarm of guards came in the room to restrain him, he was violently shoved to the ground and held down by his arms. He stilled thrashed around, yanking his arms and legs, almost succeeding a few times.

“Shut the hell up!” With fuming animosity, Wei punched him in the face with enough force to draw blood from his pretty mouth, forcing his head to cock to the side. “Jin, you okay?” Wei ran to help Jin up but he was shooed away by a hand as he stood to his feet with a little unsteady footing. He watched as his men kicked and punched him as he attempted to resist, resulting in low groans of pain. 

From the ground eerily he spoke calmly, “H-how could a son of a bitch like you...have such a doll of a sister like Y/N...” He cooed, a drunken smile on his face, he found this whole ordeal amusing in a sick way. “She's a sweet girl, pity I had to fuck with her head like I did...” A devious smirk appeared on his lips as he knew that would get to him.

“Stand him up.” Jin ordered.

They yanked him up and held him back by his arms as he struggles very little, he didn't do so much as jerk away.

“What the hell did you do to her.” He gripped Taehyungs jaw to force him to look him in the eye. “Talk.” Jin hissed. Taehyung peeked through his fringe, his smile wide in a coy manner. Jin assumed he had the upper hand here, but he would soon find out why Tae was smiling ever so gleefully.

“She,” He lifted his head, letting his tongue graze over his lips, “she ran away, Hyung wanted her to learn her lesson...so he gave her to me.” His gaze fixated on him, silently waiting for him to continue. The tension between them was unbearably thick and the only sound that could be heard was Tae’s ragged breathing.

“She was resistant at first but after a little persuading, she was as docile as a deer, so cute and sensitive,” He sighed, “I almost felt guilty but...she was fun to play with.” He smirked. “I know she's your sister but I've gotta tell you how good she was with her-” 

“Shut up!” Jin barked angrily, not even thinking before striking him.

His hyung’s cold hand violently struck the already bruised skin of his cheek, he succeeded in taking it too far. Jin forcefully lifted his head by his hair, eliciting a sharp hiss from him as blood streamed from the purple bruise.

“Finish that sentence and I swear to God you'll regret it.” He meant that.

He sneered cockily, “It's the truth hyung,” He scrunched his brows, intending to hurt Jin in any way possible. He softened his voice with a devilish tone. “I get off on the thought of what I did to her-”

They kept cutting each other off. “I'm giving you one last chance to-”

“Fuck you.” He literally spat on him, a smirk growing on his lips as he was proud to ruin those freshly shined leather shoes. 

Slowly he looked down, the blood and phlegm causing him to scrunch his nose in utter disgust. Taking a deep breath he blinked, urging himself to control his anger and temptation to kill him right here.

Wei had enough, he strides towards the man, ready to strangle him to death, “You’re psychotic-”

“Stop.” Jin blocked him, whispering something in his ear. Taehyung tilted his head in confusion as Wei’s hand went to his pocket, slipping a pill out of his pocket. He quickly clamped his hand over Tae’s mouth, he struggled and thrashed for almost a whole minute before he finally forcefully swallowed it. He stood there a disheveled mess, his stance quickly toppled over, his head hanging forward as his unconscious body hung in the men's grasp.

“Take him downstairs, lock him up,” He adjusted his suit jacket, cleared his throat. “and take his shoes.” Jin left the room, he had to remain focused and remember his goal. You.

He couldn't resist, the men drug him downstairs, where Jin has been running his operations. None of this really looked familiar, given he doesn't come here often it made sense that it was different but it looked like a separate organization. A few more shoves and he was forced into the cell, chained to the wall and sure enough they took his shoes.

Deeper, like shards of glass that I can’t reverse.

Jin had followed the group of men that were headed out so he could join Yoongi. On the way to the car, he had to situate his clothes, trying to appear as if he wasn’t just taken down single-handedly by a man with a pipe. He sighed, getting in the passenger as Yoongi eyed him weirdly before sticking the key in the ignition. “What happened to you?” Seeing as Jin was buttoning his collar and ruffling his hair. He only sighed. “Nothing...”

Jungkook rested against the headboard as you were comfortably placed in his lap. Those warm arms held you like there was no tomorrow and you returned the affection, wrapping your arms around his neck just as tight, visually insignificant to his hold but equally as genuine. “I love you...” He muttered he's been saying that all morning, sincerity in every syllable when he said it. You loved his voice, it was so soft but at the same time rough. His warm hands traveled your body, his fingertips pressing and massaging your bare skin. Hugging and squeezing you became one of his morning habits if he didn’t have to head out early. He’d furrow his brows like he was going to cry if you tried to get out of his arms. It made you sad, he held you like he was used to being left.

You had both showered earlier, he wore jeans and a plain shirt, and you wore the same with a flimsy top. You were fully dressed but he was holding you close like it was below 0 degrees in here, the whole ordeal may appear suffocating to others but it was just right to you two.”I love you so much...” He repeated, you brought your hands to his chest to look him in the eyes. “I love you too...” You pecked his cheek briefly, knowing he'd take that as an invitation to start showering you with kisses.

“God, I love you...” He kissed under your ear and up to your lips leisurely, his tongue pushing its way into your mouth, causing your stomach to flutter in excitement. He nibbled the skin lightly making you squirm and fidget as he held you down, he knew the little things like that, what made you laugh, smile, cry, he took pride in knowing those things. “You know that? More than anything...” You nodded sheepishly, playing with the strands of his hair shyly, causing him to nuzzle his head towards your hand.

He cleared his throat. “I wasn't sure how you felt about all of this, you know, me, our relationship...I can't be like the guys you've probably dreamed of, I don't have a typical day job, my family life is kinda fucked up, I didn't want to drag you into this but it sort of just happened. It’s selfish but I can't imagine being without you now...” He stared up at you, “I thought-... I don't know...that maybe I wasn't enough for you...” Grabbing your hips to sit you lower on his thighs so you two were face to face, he looked down, licking his lips like he always did when he was nervous.

“Why would you think that?...I'm not sure when, but somehow we just, we became something, and I don't regret it...” Living with him, sharing and doing everything together; that was the highlight of your dreary life. You never thought you'd end up like this, desperately clinging to someone for dear life. 

Sitting in silence never bothered you but this time you were a little unnerved by the way he narrowed his brows at the door, seemingly listening to whatever might be said behind it. This whole morning did seem a bit strange, he got to wake up with you without any orders or interruptions from Namjoon, or Tae. Suddenly he was lifting you from his lap and getting out of bed with a serious look on his face, that look was always scary to you, it made you feel uneasy. ‘Come with me’ he gestured for you to follow him and you hopped up immediately to take his hand into yours. 

He hadn't noticed but you were shaking slightly, he could probably feel your palm begin to sweat though, you didn’t know why you were feeling so anxious. The two of you walked around looking for Namjoon until Jungkook finally saw him, slipping his hand from yours and walking out to the car.

“What’s going on? Why is everyone arming up, is there something you forgot to mention?” Namjoon looked back at the younger man with you behind him, trying to hide.

“I’m meeting Yoongi at the old base.” He fastened his gun holster, opening the car door. 

“What?” He frowned. “Why?”

“They're pissed about the whole Hakyeon situation, that along with some other issues, so they kidnapped Tae, they’ll hand him over on one condition.” He glanced at you as you peeked from behind Jungkook.

“If they get you,” He grinned sarcastically and pointed to you, “and her.” Your heart sank into the pit of your stomach, they still remembered you? You tightened your grip around Jungkook’s arm, hoping Namjoon wasn’t planning on taking you with him. Jungkook looked back at you, not quite understanding why Yoongi would want you if he had him.

Namjoon feigned a careless smile. “Until I get what I initially asked for you two are staying here.”

Shaking his head in disbelief he quickly developed a determination in his eyes. “No, if they have Tae I’m going with you, Y/N can stay here while-”

“Don't you so much as leave your room Jungkook, that's an order. If you fuck this up that's our lives on the line. I’m leaving a few guys to keep an eye on things while the rest of us are out, to make sure you two don't try anything.”

He sat down in the car and attempted to close the door but Jungkook gripped the side, forcing it to stay open. “You need me with you.” 

“No, I need you alive.” He yanked the door shut and told the driver to pull off. Jungkook tongued at his cheek in irritation, that’s when you knew it was really bothering him or he was really angry. 

He stormed back inside, muttering to himself as the men leaving for the other cars avoided his path. His hand was tightly gripped around your wrist to make sure you were keeping up with his quick pace. When he entered the room he slammed the door loudly, causing you to flinch at the sudden action. 

“We have to follow him.” 

“What!? Did you not just hear what he said?” He was too eager to risk his life the people he loved, but listening to Namjoon wasn't that bad of an idea. And that’s coming from you. You went to the bathroom to get the wipes to clean his stitches. “Come here.”

He walked into the bathroom, his eyes darting to the alcohol on the counter before pulling off his t-shirt. When you turned around to see him shirtless you quickly turned back around, even though you were so close seeing him shirtless still made you giddy. 

You turned around, clearing your throat as he peered down at you, “You don’t understand...” He mumbled, you cut off the bandage with a pair of scissors and tossed it in the trash. 

“I do, Jungkook, I'm in the same boat as you, remember? But I don’t think you should get involved,” You looked at your attempt at stitches and cringed at the fact that he has yet to complain about them, “we shouldn’t get involved.” You soaked a cotton pad with antibacterial and dabbed at his milky colored skin, feigning a pout on your lips. He was trying not to flinch away from the freezing cold liquid being pressed against him, his reactions so innocent in your eyes.

“We’re already involved,” Gently, he gripped your wrist to get you to let up, “as soon as you got here, you were involved.” Throwing the pad in the trash, you walked out of the bathroom leaving him, how could he put you and himself in more danger than you were already in?

“I don’t care, you should listen to him for once...” With crossed arms you stomped over to stand in front of the window, of course, he followed you as he slipped on his shirt. He was slipping on a pair of leather boots, supposedly preparing to go despite your wishes, he went on about how he didn’t think we were that much safer here but you were listening half-heartedly.

“They’re not stupid, they know how hyung is and-” He cut himself off, you weren’t even paying him any attention. He came behind you, standing close enough for you to feel his body heat. He placed his hands on the side of the window, caging you. “Everything is happening so fast, Jungkook...I shouldn't even be here but I am, it scares the hell out of me.” 

“I know," He brought his arms down to wrap them around your waist. "but this is our life and as long as you’re with me, everything will be okay...” He was always so sure, when he’d say that he never had an ounce of doubt, he was invincible if it meant protecting you. That was as scary as it was comforting.

“You’re so sure?...” You shook your head in slight disbelief.

“Why wouldn’t I be?” You turned back to him, wrapping your arms around his waist in a tight hug. The mere thought of being apart scared you, he was the light in the darkest time of your life, your everything. Your family was responsible for dragging you into this. They lied to you, they kept you in the dark about their other lives, how could you easily trust anymore? 

“Look, if you really don’t want to go-...” He paused mid-sentence, something wasn’t right. 

“What’s wrong?-” He held a finger to his lips to shush you. You wanted to get on him for cutting you off like that but you knew he had a reason, he told you to sit in the corner near the bed as he went to place his ear against the door. He could hear talking, and not from the guards.

“Search the place for any others, I'll get them.” Jimin walked stealthily through the back entrance, and about ten men were following behind him but soon branched off in the building, the other fifteen were waiting outside with the cars and weapons. It's been a few weeks since anyone has seen Y/N, it was safe to assume she was alive and well if Jungkook was still attached to her hip. On his way to the room he noticed the guys were stopping and pulling things out of there pockets to place in random places—those things looked like explosives.

“Hey, what're you doing?” He gestured to the device in his hand.

“Boss’ orders.” The man mumbled, continuing his task. 

Jin never told him about explosives, the plan was to get you two and get out, blow up Namjoons base in the process. He sighed, remembering the good times they shared before gangs and mafias were involved; they were like brothers. Now they've resulted to this, is it really worth it?

“We gotta get out of here.” Jungkook slowly opened the door, peeking out to see if anyone was out there—two men ran past the door, and a few guys laid unconscious near Namjoons lounge. When he heard an all too familiar voice coming closer he shut the door silently, he took a deep breath—this was bad.

“W-who's out there?...” Your voice quivered momentarily.

“Jimin, they probably sent him to get us.” He shoved his hand through his hair in frustration. “Damn it, I knew this would happen.” He had to think of a rational plan to get out of here without being caught—the window was a good escape but he didn't want to risk you falling.

He looked you in the eye, seeing you were trying to remain calm, “Follow me...” With that he cracked the door, easing out as you did the same. Jungkook was on a mission, a few hallways, and two turns and he miraculously avoided the men sneaking around with guns. There was one exit door at the end of the hall, the red glowing light was your means of freedom.

“Jungkook-ah.” Jimin cooed. Your blood went cold when you looked back to see that angelic face. Jimin. He stood just feet from you with a fond smile. Jungkook put his hand on the door handle, squeezing it tightly. 

“Y/N, baby.” Jimin walked closer but Jungkook yanked you back with furrowed brows, causing you to gasp in surprise, Jimin backed off. “You look good, a little tired but still good.” He sighed, Jungkook had it bad for you—this was gonna be just as hard as Jin said. 

Two men ran up to grab you, making you wince at their aggressive grip—bad decision. “Ouch! Let go!”

Without so much as a warning, Jungkook threw his fist at the man, Jimin was frantically telling them to stand down before Jungkook caused unnecessary damage. “Guys! Don't touch the girl. I'll handle her.” Jimin pushed the men back, getting them away from Jungkook. 

“No the hell you won’t.” Jungkook retorted, his brows knitting in anger.

“Jungkook, listen, I don't want to make this any more difficult then it has to be.” Jimin wanted to reason with him but the sight of Jungkook lifting his hands in surrender, that was unexpected.

“Fine.”

“Jungkook?” You tugged on his sleeve—what is he doing?

He whispered. “Shh, just follow my lead.” A few men ran up to grab Jungkook, holding him by his upper arms but none of them dared to touch you again.

“Come with me Y/N, let's have a little talk.” Jimin took you by your waist to pull you to walk with him. You looked at Jungkook with pleading eyes but he had to stop himself from looking at you or he wasn't gonna last. 

“How have you been?” Your life revolved around being torn between Jungkook and something else, Jimin used to be a means of salvation for you but now you don't know how you feel about him. “Come on baby, we've been worried about you, talk to me.”

You opened your mouth to speak, “I-”  Jungkook silenced you.

“Don't fucking answer him.” He gave you a stern look before averting his gaze to Jimin. “If you really gave a shit about her, she wouldn’t be here.” Jungkook hissed, glaring at Jimin in a warning.

Jimin didn't react, Jungkook was tenacious and aggressive as always—you only fueled that nature. You twiddled your fingers, hanging your head low as you glanced at Jungkook for some type of sign or signal. Lucky for you, Jimin didn’t know the layout of this warehouse, he didn’t know the emergency escapes, secret rooms, all he knew was the entrance he came in for both you and Taehyung. All of you were about to approach the exit but Jungkook elbowed one of the guys in the stomach, it went downhill from there. The other man was not spared the pain as Jungkook hit him as well, the other men tried to stop him but when he told you to run from Jimin you didn’t even look back to see if he was following you. Jungkook took the gun from one the men’s belt and ran.

“Follow them!” Jimin shouted, pulling his gun out of its holster and following them as well.

‘run’ Jungkook kept telling you to run, practically growling at you, he just wanted you safe so you did what he said. He ran through halls you’ve never even been through and soon those miles of a hallway, let you arrive at Namjoon’s office. He slammed the door shut, locking it in his wake as he went through the drawers for Namjoon’s spare gun, the one he stole had two rounds.

“Go stand by the window.” He tried not to sound too demanding so he softened his voice as best as he could, it didn’t really help. You ran to stand at the window, your chest heaving lightly as you were feeling winded.

“Here we go.” He mumbled, shoving some keys in his pocket and grabbing the firearm just as Jimin bursts through the door, his gun pointed directly at him.

“Put the gun down Jungkook, we just want to help.” Jungkook could tell Jimin was weary about this, he would never do anything to hurt you but Jimin didn’t know that, perfect.

In a split second, Jungkook had his arm wrapped around you with a gun in hand. He pressed the barrel of the gun to your chest, you didn’t so much as breathe. Jimin’s eyes went wide and so did the others, his grip on the gun faltered and he started to fear for your life. Jungkook wouldn’t do that.

“Jungkook, what’re you doing? You wouldn’t hurt her, I know you.” Jimin reasoned, swallowing thickly as he wasn’t entirely sure of the words leaving his mouth.

“Don’t give me that bullshit, the day you left is the day you lost your right to say you know shit about me!” Jungkook spat, whilst you were on the verge of passing out from the stress of the situation/

“Put the gun down.” 

Jungkook quirked his brow with a cocky smirk, he had them right where he wanted them. His hand lowered painstakingly slow, no one could tell if he was gonna drop it or if he was just pulling their leg. 

You looked back, your eyes showing how confused you were. “Jung- Aghh!” 

Jungkook had shot the window and threw himself through the window with you in his arms. Jimin’s jaw dropped, he has lost his mind. He immediately ran to the window to see the result of Jungkook’s decision. “Damn it. They’re going to the car lot! Get the cars and follow them!” 

Jungkook grunted as he landed on the fire escape staircase concrete, his shoulder was scraped and he knew those stitches were long gone by now. You screamed on instinct, you thought ‘this is it’ but when you opened your eyes you finally understood his plan.

Your heart was beating so fast that your words were nothing but a pitiful stutter. “J-jungkook?-” 

“Run!” He shouted and you ran down those stairs like your life deepened on it. Jungkook somehow managed to get in front of you and he was running to the parking lot for one of the cars. You ran to the car he was running too and he got in the passenger's seat, he didn’t want you to drive, did he? “Get in here Y/N!”

You had no choice but to get in the driver's seat but you froze. “Jungkook I-I’m not an experienced driver-” 

“Drive Y/N. NOW, damn it!” You stomped on the gas and you jerked back against the chair, you had to steady your breathing, you weren’t kidding when you said you weren’t a good driver. 

“Jungkook! I don’t know where I’m going!” Your fingers were glued to the steering wheel as you somehow navigated out of the parking space and on to the road.

“Keep going straight, they’re on our tail.” You were too busy to see him let down his window and pushing most of his upper body out of the window.

“What are you doing!?” He throws you in the drivers seat, hangs out the window with a gun and expects you to stay focused. “Jungkook!?”

“Turn right and keep driving, fast.” Him not telling you what he was doing added to your panic. Luckily there hadn’t been a red light yet so you were racing down the road without a care for any road laws you were breaking.

You heard four gunshots and pressed the gas pedal with more pressure, going way over the speed limit and swerving like you were drunk. “What was that?” Your voice trembled.

“They’re trying to shoot out the tires, straighten up so I can have a good shot at theirs.” You somehow managed to ride on a straight path and you could hear the sound of the engine getting louder as you sped up. Jungkook kept shooting, the sound of the gunfire forcing you to flinch every time.

“Got’em. Turn left and keep going from there.” Quickly he eased back in his seat, closing the window as he put the gun in the glove compartment.

“Wow,” You laughed, “that was stressful...” He couldn’t help but laugh too, he couldn’t believe his plan actually worked out. It was quiet for a few moments until you heard him groan, you looked down at him holding his stomach. He was bleeding, a lot.

You narrowed your brows in concern. “Jungkook, you’re losing a lot of blood, we need to go to the hospital...” 

“No, no, we’re not going to the hospital we need to get to-...to the safe house...” He mumbled, he was already getting woozy and his speech was slurring due to fatigue and exhaustion.

“Jungkook, we’re going to the-”

You entered the busy intersection and it was your worse nightmare, you were t-boned, the car flipped twice before you lost consciousness. 

Sirens, sirens...

they're coming for us

The embodiment of two opposite poles mingled during a single point in time.

Yoongi and Jin walked inside the once shared building, the memories seeping out of the cracked walls and shattered windows, oh how nostalgic it was. When he entered the building he looked at the far side of the big open room, Namjoon had more than two dozen men with weapons ready for his commands.

Yoongi had his fair share of back up, about the same amount of men Namjoon had Yoongi brought as well, he could never be too prepared. He walked a few feet from until he was a fair distance between the two, Yoongi spoke, breaking the silence.

“When will you ever learn?” 

He shook his head with a smug look.

“Oh, I’ve learned quite a lot Min Yoongi.” 

“Oh?”

“Yeah,” He cracked his knuckles, “I’ve learned that if you say you’re gonna do something, you don’t always have to mean it, AKA lying. I’m sure you don’t have Taehyung with you, am I right?”

“Bingo.” Yoongi clicked his tongue on the roof of his mouth.

“Well I’m sure you’ve already figured out Y/N and Jungkook aren’t with me, I left those two love birds at the base. I was gonna bring them but then I thought, ‘why the fuck would I do that?’, how would it benefit me to give them up? It wouldn’t.”

Yoongi stared at him in silence and Jin did the same, waiting for Namjoon to continue.

“I have yet to understand your infatuation with Jin, the only reason we’re in this mess is because of him and you refuse to see it...It’s disgusting.”

Jin glowered when Namjoon glanced at him with a look of contempt. 

“You’re twisted Namjoon...”

“See, that’s where you’re wrong, I’m not the twisted one here, I know the difference between my allies and enemy's, I can spot them a mile away. See, you’re my enemy,” He pointed to Jin then Yoongi, “you’re my enemy and Taehyung is my ally, easy. I know who I hate, I know who I love.” 

“We’re getting off subject, are you gonna give them over or is this how you want it, a full-fledged war over something as petty as this.” Yoongi raised his brows, even though it wasn’t quite visible through his hair.

“I didn’t start this. As soon as you decided Jin was more important then our family is when you took your first shot. I only fight back, hyung. And as far as Jungkook and Y/N go, you won’t be able to lay a finger on them.”

Laughter, the room was silent aside from one manslaughter.

Namjoon snapped. “What the hell?”

Jin was literally almost in tears, laughing.

“What the hell are you laughing at?”

“I knew this was gonna happen,” Jin wiped a single tear from his eye, “you think I trusted you enough to bring her? You didn’t actually think we would fall for this?” Yoongi was even caught off guard by the words leaving his mouth.

“What?”

“Your base is probably already up in flames by now, our teams are transporting my sister and Jungkook as we speak.”

Namjoon had to do a double take, Jin was spewing out information that even Yoongi wasn't aware of.

“Don't you see? You lost. The great Kim Namjoon, two steps behind.” Jin rested his hands in his pockets. “And now, you have nothing, your base is gone, Jungkook is gone, Tae is gone. You've lost.”

Namjoon whipped out a gun, aiming it at Yoongi. Yoongi mirrored him with a gun in hand just as quick. Soon everyone was armed and ready to shoot, Namjoons men and Yoongi’s were aiming at each other. The tension was thick, not a word leaving the old friends mouth until Namjoon spoke.

“So this is how it is now?” He sneered, amused by the unfortunate hand of cards he was dealt with.

Yoongi looked with curiosity, not loosening the grip in the metal instrument for a second. Namjoons free hand traveled to his pocket, hesitantly pulling out what looked like a detonator. Yoongi, of course, was baffled beyond belief, don't tell me his plan was to blow this place up?

“You're bluffing.” Yoongi hoped.

“Am I?” His thumb swiped over the button teasingly. 

Namjoon chuckled, he had at least one back up plan.“I guess...We're all dining in hell tonight.”

Bang, one loud explosive went off and two others followed suit like it was New Years night. Namjoons men were prepared, they brought gas masks to their faces and opened fire. Dozens of gunshots went off whilst Yoongi’s men were scrambling to get out while protecting their boss’. It wasn't long before the room was illuminated with flames, it devoured everything in sight. 

“Get out of here! Move!” Jin ordered, running alongside everyone else. Namjoon shot at him twice but missed due to him running at the same time. Yoongi ran behind a crate, peeking out only to shoot until he saw Namjoon running, that crazy bastard.

Namjoon ran to the back entrance to get out but you could imagine his surprise when Yoongi was hot on his trail. 

Yoongi threw a punch so hard that Namjoon was thrown to the floor. “What the fuck is wrong with you!? Are you crazy!?” Yoongi lashed out, finally having enough of his calm demeanor.

“Fuck you!” Namjoon punched him back, hitting him almost twice as hard, causing his milky white skin to bruise instantly. “You chose that lying son of a bitch over us! I should've killed him and you when I had the chance, it would've made my life a whole lot easier.” Another blow to Yoongi’s jaw as he spat through gritted teeth, 

“He's a traitor. He betrayed all of us Yoongi, and soon he'll stab you in the back too.” He let out a sad and wired laugh. Blood dripped down both of their foreheads, trickling onto their brows. Yoongi managed to strangle him for a few seconds before Namjoon slung the smaller framed man off of him. As they were both trying to win the upper hand more bombs and gunshots could be heard. 

“You’ll do anything to save yourself Namjoon, you'd let one of your owns sister die out of spite. Hell, you already did that.” His breathing was heavy and his eyes were dark, “All the years that I've known you, not once have you proved loyalty to any of us, except Jeon Jungkook and Kim Taehyung, and that's out of your own personal guilt.” The gun once in Namjoon’s hand was kicked away as Yoongi had him trapped. 

“You don't know the hell I've been through. You don't think I was pissed about what he did!? I was fucking livid! But it wasn't worth his life, I got over it, I don't hold a man to his past but you're a fucking exception. You never change, Joon.” 

“Always the reasonable hyung,” He cooed, “coming from a dysfunctional household yet preaching to me about forgiveness, that's fucking hilarious, it really is. When will you ever learn? You'll always want to save Jin and I'll always want to kill him.” Yoongi lost his grip on the man's collar allowing him to snatch the gun. “That'll never change. Love and hate hyung, I picked one.”

Quickly, Yoongi took a few steps back. They were both sweaty messes, no thanks to the heat coming from the fire and having just tussled around like rookies. His stance wavered, and the gun was directed at his intended target. “You don't know how long I've waited for this moment.” Even his laugh was unhinged, he loaded the gun and pulled the trigger. 

“Goodbye, Yoongi”

Click.

Namjoon paused, pulling it frantically but getting nothing, Yoongi took his chance to shoot but he was equally as unsuccessful. They were both out of rounds. Yoongi let out a low chuckle, he didn't know I felt it was out of shock, rage, he just knew he had to get out of here.

It's funny how things turn out, two best friends turned enemies over one person. They stared at each other, neither of them moving a muscle. Suddenly a wooden beam came crashing down, creating a greater distance between them. At the moment they realized they were willing to kill each, they realized there once strong friendship was obliterated. The mere fact that they were willing to kill each other in that very moment, terrified them. Namjoon was the first to turn around and walk away, disappearing in the clouds of smoke.

Yoongi looked around, watching the place they once worked so hard to build burn before his eyes; every good thing will burn by the hands of its creators.

The halls were dark and cold, he hasn't been down here in a long time but he thought he'd pay his old partner a visit. He just got word of the explosion and he had to get back to Yoongi. He stood at the heavy-duty door and pushed the key into the lock firmly before twisting it.

When he opened the door he was shocked by what he saw. Tae’s arms were cuffed to the wall on either side of him, his clothes were disheveled and, they took his shoes? Either way, he looked like death—his hair was a mess, his eyes were emotionless, his lips slightly parted, like he was asleep with him his eyes open.

He approached his pitiful form, seeing that his eyes focused intently on him immediately. Since his eyes are somewhat red he assumed he's either been awake too long or he's been crying.

“They took your shoes?” Hoseok called, those big curious eyes looked up at him.

“What're you doing here.” He deadpanned. 

“Keep it down.” Hoseok looked behind him, making sure Wei wasn't listening in. “Everything is a mess, Yoongi and Namjoon had a brawl, the old base is destroyed, and Namjoons isn't that much better...Jin is- well, I don't have time to explain.” Hoseok reached in his pocket for the cuff keys. 

“I could've told you Jin was gonna screw up our lives again.” Tae sort of snorted, this has been one interesting day. “I-it’s what he does best...” He pulled his body up the wall, trying to lift his chest for a deep breath.

“I gotta get out of here...” Hoseok straightened up his jacket. “Here.” He tossed the keys at Tae’s feet, turning to lock the door and left the room without a word

He was a pal when he wanted to be, he used his heal to pull the keys towards him. Somehow he managed to toss the keys up to his hand, he worked the key into the lock after four to five tries. He unlocked one then the other, he rubbed his chaffed wrist, pushing himself to his feet steadily. He sneaked towards the door, peaking through the bars of the window to see a few guys lingering in the hall.

Get rid of them, get the pipe and get your shoes, that'll be fun, he thought. He opened the door at a leisurely pace, trying not to let the door creak.

The pipe was propped against the corner and he grabbed it.

“Hey! What the hell are you doing!?” Wei ran up to Tae but he was quickly halted by the metal pipe knocking him out instantly. He grabbed the gun from Wei’s grip, using it to stop the men running towards him. 

He's never shot so many men in one day—well, if he has he doesn't remember. He single-handedly took out every man that looked his way—he left a massacre in his wake. All while he was completely barefoot.

He looked through every room in sight until he found them, his shoes.

All you could remember was one wrong turn—and here you lie in a hospital bed. You looked down at the IV in the back of your hand, wincing at the tension in your neck. Your whole body ached, the pounding in your head intensified the more you gained consciousness. You tried to sit up but you were soon made aware of your injuries, your shoulder down to your elbow was bandaged. You squinted to look at the clock on the wall, you've been here for well over two hours since the accident.

Jungkook, you panicked for a short second. Any worries were put at rest when you caught the eye of the other hospital bed. You wanted to cry, there were bandages on his forehead, his arms, shoulder, stomach, he looked terrible.

Like a child after a fit of crying, your voice hoarse and shaky, cracking with every syllable. “J-Jungkook...Jungkook...” You winced, tears pricking your eyes as you forced your body to the side so you could pull yourself out of bed. “Jungkook...” 

Your legs threatened to give out as soon as your feet hit the floor but you attempted to hold yourself up using your bad arm, eliciting a high pitched shriek.

“Ma'am,” A petite female nurse came running to your aid, helping you back on the bed despite your weak protests, “you need to lay back down, okay? You had a nasty accident.” 

“But-”

“Do you mind if I ask you a few questions?” She pulled out a clipboard and pen, you nodded.

“What's your name?”

“Y/N, Kim Y/N.”

“Age, date of birth and any allergies to medicine?” You answered halfheartedly as she wrote down everything you said. You watched Jungkook’s chest rise and fall gently, he looked so peaceful and so unaware of the pain he was enduring.

“Okay, I need your signature.” She handed you the paper and you scribble your legally binding name on the line.

“Is Jungkook okay? He's my- My...” Tears threatened to leave your eyes but you choked them back. “Please tell me he's okay...I-I don't know how this happened-” You stammered.

“Calm down Miss,” She rubbed your shoulder, “he's alright, he looks worse than his actual injuries, you, on the other hand, have a sprained ankle, you almost shattered your shoulder and you have a lot of bruising. Your car flipped over, it's a miracle neither of you has any broken bones.” She glanced at Jungkook and back at you, she had no idea where those bruises came from.

“Oh, and one of your relatives have come to discharge you...” She went to open the door before you could ask who it was. 

“Y/N...” 

That voice...

After all this time...You were speechless, he walked towards you, sitting on the edge of the bed as you were trying to utter out something to say.

“It's okay Y/N, we're going home now...” He cupped the side of your face and you gently grabbed his wrist.

“Jin...I thought I'd never-... no, no I don't want to leave Jungkook here, I can't leave him here, look at him...” You tried to get up again but the nurse came to lay you back down.

“Jungkook will be fine, Y/N, you need to come home first, you'll get to see Jungkook again, really soon.” They didn't listen to your pointless protests, they disregarded everything you were saying, they wouldn't listen,

they took me away from him.

On the edge of the hospital bed, he sat, a nurse dabbing at his bruises as he sat idly scratched at the sheets. She was nervous, that was the elephant in the room, Taehyung had an aura about him that she couldn't quite describe; she was glad to be done and out of there

He tossed around, groaning lowly before those doe eyes made their appearance, he blinked slowly trying to shake the fatigue off of him. He saw those all too familiar bright white lights on the ceiling and compiled enough information to know where he was, the hospital. 

Despite the pain he was experiencing he sat up, looking around before quickly realizing what had happened. “Y/N...”

He didn't even see the man in the bed across from him in the bed you were once in, he was too busy trying to take out the IV.

“Jungkook.” Taehyung spoke, stopping Jungkook’s efforts. “Calm down, you just woke up from a concussion.”

“What the hell are you doing here?” Jungkook struggled to clear his throat. He changed his question to something far more important after surveying the room. “Where’s Y/N?” He spoke, demanding an answer.

Tae sighed, still as impatient as ever. “How should I know? I came here for you-”

“Sir, you're awake.” The same nurse came back, ready to ask him questions like she would with any other patient.

“Where the hell is she.” Jungkook spat, glaring at her like she was the cause of his misfortune. 

“S-sir? The women in here earlier? She was discharged around an hour and a half ago, was she your girlfriend or—?” She stuttered.

He completely ignored her question. “By who?”

“I can't tell you that Sir...” She shied away, hand near the doorknob in case she had to make a run for it.

Taehyung saw that Jungkook was about ready to strangle her so he figured he'd step in. “Can you leave us alone for one minute?” She nodded vigorously, happy to leave the intensity of the room.

“They just let some random person discharge her? I'm getting the fuck out of here.” He took out his IV, trying to stumble towards the door but Taehyung sighed, pushing Jungkook back down.

“Don't start Jungkook, take a breather and leave that poor nurse alone. You need to rest,” Tae pouted, laying down to rest himself.

“I can't stay here, I don't know who might have her and-” His phone buzzed, he picked it up instantly when he saw Namjoon was calling.

“What.”

“Where are you?”

“The emergency room, we were in a car accident. I have to leave to find Y/N, someone fucking discharged her before I woke up, Tae is here too.” Jungkook was slowly calming down at the sound of Namjoons voice.

“Car accident? Tae is there?- You two were running from Jin's men, weren't you? Shit,” He took in a sharp breath, “are you guys okay?”

“No, Y/N is gone, I’m not okay. What happened with the meeting at the base?”

“I'll explain later, the base is destroyed and I'm at the safe house, you guys need to come as soon as possible.” 

“I can't, I've gotta find Y/N,” 

“Y/n is fine Jungkook,” He drags a hand down his face, dreading having to be the one to break the news, “I know where she is...she's with Jin.” 

“What?” Jungkook squeezed the phone, vexation beginning to bubble in his chest. “Why?”

“She's Jin’s sister, Jungkook.” It was silent after that, Jungkook didn't know what to say, he couldn't say he expected this, you never told him you had a brother, or that your brother was Kim Seokjin.

The phone fell from his grasp landing on the deafeningly pale tile. 

Jin brought you to a nice bedroom, it was far more normal than you expected, it had more furniture, a closet, everything you'd have if you were at your own home. As soon as he dropped you off to this room he was gone and you didn't know how to feel anymore. After a few minutes you managed to get out of bed, you looked out the window, this was the first place you were brought to, Yoongi’s headquarters.

This is what you've been waiting for, you were back with Jin, everything was supposed to get instantly better, but that's just not the case at all. Sure, you were glad to be with your brother but he took you from Jungkook, and Jungkook needs you right now, you need him.

There was a light knock on the door, you jumped back in bed just as Jin was opening the door. As soon as he came in you sat up to give him a hug, you really did miss him, even if this was the result of being related to him. “I'm so glad you're safe...”

“How are you feeling?” He felt your forehead delicately, making sure you weren't overheated. “I know the accident was pretty bad...”

You gently brushed his hand away. “I'm fine...” 

“Fine? They said the car flipped over and you had a concussion, you’re far from fine.”

“Really Jin, I'm ok but Jungkook, I shouldn't have left him...” You threw your legs over the edge of the bed.

“Jungkook is fine Y/N-”

“You don't know that. Please, just take me back.” Jin was somewhat shocked, you were completely serious—this is what he feared most.

“I’m going to be honest with you,” He sighed, “Jungkook is a nothing but trouble.”

You blinked in shock. “What?”

“Look,” Jin stood up beginning to pace, “Jungkook is not good for you, just forget about him...”

“What are you talking about? Jungkook is a good person and frankly, you can't dictate who's good or bad for me, I decide for myself...” Now you were standing, furrowing your brows in frustration.

“He's a murderer. He even killed one of our best men. You don’t know him like I do, he's unhinged, he does what he wants and-”

“Jungkook didn't do that.” Jin raised a single brow, how would you know that. “He told me he didn’t do it, and I believe him, he was framed by someone...”

“That's what he told you?” He scoffed, “He lied.”

“Jungkook wouldn't lie to me- You know what? I don't have to listen to you,” You started to walk out but you stumbled because of your still painfully sprained ankle, he caught you before you fell to the ground.

“Look at you, you're weak and you can barely stand, lay back down...” He helped you to bed but you still glared at him. “I know you don't want to hear it but I know what's good for you, and I don't know what kind of relationship you and Jungkook have,” He grimaced at the thought of your relationship, “but it's not worth it right now.” He probably thought he was reasoning with your but he was actually making you more and more furious by the second.

“How could you say that!?” You raised your voice, startling him at first. “Jungkook is the only person who actually cared when I was thrown into this hellhole, no thanks to you. He will do anything for me, you can't tell me that's not worth it, it's worth every bit. I can't believe you suddenly want me to rely on you after all you've put me through, it doesn't work like that Jin.” You sighed.

“I love you Jin, you're my brother and I know you just want to help, but Jungkook cares more about me than you have in your lifetime...” You spoke in a low monotone, looking out the window with tired eyes. His jaw tightened, his palms began to sweat, he had to tell himself, she just needs to rest, she doesn't mean it, she doesn't mean it...

“You're just tired and you need some rest but you're not going to see Jungkook any time soon, that's final.” He was upset, you could tell by the way he seemed to keep eye contact with you, but you didn’t care.

“You can't tell me what to do.” 

He shut the door, presumably locking it behind him. You struggled to limp to the door, you jiggled the knob, it was locked.

“Jin! Let me out!” You screamed, banging on the door and causing your head to throb. No, no, no...you had to get to Jungkook. Your eyes welled up with tears and you laid in the bed larger than you’re used to, you were used to the cozy little bed you shared with Jungkook for months. You cried for hours even though it physically hurt to do so, and not from sorrow but from rage. How did you come to this? How could your own family be the ones to ruin your life? 

Jimin had come to check on you a few times but you couldn’t bear to acknowledge him. You were safe and unharmed but you could care less, and there was only one reason for this— they took you from the one person who you stayed alive for. Jungkook. For so long, wanted to be with your brother but now that you’re here, you regret ever wanting this. It’s funny how you can beg for something for so long and once you finally get it, it means nothing to you.

You were crying and Yoongi could hear your faint cries from the downstairs clinic, where he was getting patched up and even when he went to his room. This wasn’t what he needed right now, he takes you from the people who were threatening to kill you but you aren’t the slightest bit thankful. That’s what happens when you try to fix something that breaks itself, you get a little something called resistance. Namjoon was using you this whole time. You were his get of jail free card, his ultimatum and now, even though you weren’t with him, he was still using you. As long as you mean something to Jungkook, he will use you. That bastard is smarter than I give him credit for.

[jgfiles]

Jitsui’s character profile: Part 4 (Alternate version from drama cd 3)

Jitsui’s character profile: Part 4 (Alternate version from drama cd 3)

“Joker Game” Drama Cd Go For It! Year 2 Class D Sakuma Sensei (「ジョーカー・ゲーム」ドラマCD それいけ！2年D組佐久間先生”Joker Game” Drama CD Sore ike! 2-Nen D-gumi Sakuma sensei )

Surname: Jitsui - 実井（じつい） Name: Unknown Job: Student (学生 Gakusei) School: Yūki Academy Middle School (結城学園中等部 Yūki Gakuen chūtō-bu) Year: 2 Year (2年 2-nen) Class: Class D (D組 D-gumi) Club: Virtual Scientific and Cultural Research Club (バーチャル科学・文化研究クラブ部 Bācharu kagaku bunka kenkyū-bu) /Manga Appreciation Club (漫画愛好会 Manga Aikō-kai)

Brief introduction

Jitsui is one of the students of Yūki Academy Middle School. He’s at the second year and belongs to D Class, whose students are all considered a thorn in Vice Principal Mutō’s eyes, who’s trying to have them expelled.

Personality

He’s realistic and thinks fated meetings do not even happen in shoujo mangas anymore. He’s a member of the Virtual Scientific and Cultural Research Club… well, actually he was a member of the manga club but since the computer club only had one member and it needed three to survive he formed a joint club with Tazaki’s magic trick club and Odagiri’s computer club. Jitsui is completely capable to be a tyrant and scare others into submission, Sakuma included. He draws shoujo manga which he submits to the shoujo manga magazine, Tulip. His manga though aren’t shoujo manga-ish but filled with money and violence because he’s aiming for a new genre, the birth of a fantastic work. As usual he uses polite speech and adds ‘-san’ to everyone’s name.

When face to face with a robber, Jitsui isn’t impressed, he just point out that if people were to dress like the robber everyday they would definitely get arrested… though he doubts it’s really a robbery as the robber is wearing clichéd clothes, saying clichéd lines and carrying out a clichéd robbery. He also makes fun of the robber for biting his tongue, for having a to-do list and for thinking he could keep him as a hostage. Then he proceed to threaten him claiming he’ll break all his bones because he doesn’t want the robber to touch him, clearly showing that his face and personality really does not match.

Jitsui can scare the whole class into submission and wishes for the guests who will come out of the horror house to say, “We realized that rather than ghosts, humans are even scarier!”

Jitsui’s hobby requires him to read books about black magic and torture.

Physical appearance

We’re supposed to assume his physical appearance remained the same as the one he has in the Anime only way younger as in the anime he’s over 20 while here he’s supposed to be around fourteen. It’s not said what he wears usually but on the cover for the cd we can see the students wear a Gakuseifuku, which is a typical uniform for Japanese students and even Shirō Miwa, in one of his strips, drew the sudents with one.

Relationships

Mutō

We don’t really see Mutō and Jitsui interact, we only know that Mutō thinks the D-Class is a thorn on his side and hopes all the students inside it will end up getting expelled.

Yūki

We don’t really see Yūki and Jitsui interact, we only know that Yūki is the school principal and that, in his own way, he cares for the D Class students and doesn’t want them to be expelled.

Sakuma

Jitsui scares Sakuma into helping with inking the pages for Jitsui’s manga. Sakuma however doesn’t find Jitsui’s manga shoujo manga-ish and, after Jitsui explains he’s going for a new genre, the birth of a fantastic work, Sakuma claims it’s too fantastic. Jitsui though doesn’t accept critiques, not even from him, and yells at Sakuma to keep on working.

When Jitsui, on the robber’s request, agrees to play the role of the hostage in Sakuma’s place and then threatens the robber, Sakuma insists he’s fine with being the hostage… though it’s hard to say if he did so to protect Jitsui or to protect the robber…

Sakuma knows that the class agreed to make a horror house due to Jitsui’s threats but tries to sugar coat it by claiming they agreed due to his enthusiasm.

When they’re at the second school trip Jitsui acts polite with Sakuma when the man tell them to go to sleep, wishing him good night, but as soon as he’s out of sight he complains that not even a grade schooler would sleep at 9 in the evening.

Miyoshi

Jitsui, Miyoshi and Kaminaga go to school together. Kaminaga is the last to join the group, meaning that the first is either Jitsui or Miyoshi.

Jitsui agrees with Kaminaga that Miyoshi is to blame for making their previous class adviser quit but Miyoshi still defends his actions, claiming it was better than him teaching them wrong lessons.

In regards to Miyoshi’s meeting with Sakuma Jitsui subtly makes fun of Miyoshi by agreeing with Odagiri that he triggered a flag but commenting no one needs to trigger a flag with a guy. Miyoshi doesn’t comment to this.

Jitsui agrees with Miyoshi that there’s no right or wrong when it comes to considering people’s emotions as one need to confirm things with the person themselves about it.

Miyoshi reminds Jitsui he’s supposed to return books to the library and Jitsui thanks him for the reminder. Once Jitsui leaves though he’ll reply to Kaminaga claiming Jitsui is cunning and black-hearted.

Kaminaga

Jitsui, Miyoshi and Kaminaga go to school together. Kaminaga is the last to join the group. According to Kaminaga Jitsui and Miyoshi are too unexciting. According to Jitsui Kaminaga is too noisy so early in the morning and makes unnecessary movements that cause the weather to feel even hotter than it is. When Kaminaga claims that this is the time of the year in which a new female student joins the school and bumps in a male student and this becomes a fated meeting, Jitsui has to point out this sort of things doesn’t even happen in shojo manga anymore to which Kaminaga replies that, even though Jitsui has such a pretty face, he’s too realistic. Jitsui agrees with Kaminaga that Miyoshi reproached their previous class advisor too much.

Jitsui is willing to admit that Kaminaga and Amari are both very popular with the girls and when Kaminaga apologizes about him being popular Jitsui suggests him to try being modest. He also finds that the difference between the way Amari and Kaminaga handle girls is marked. Kaminaga then points out how Jitsui is really popular with the older ladies who fawn over him claiming he’s cute. Jitsui finds it a honour, Kaminaga thinks is off being called cute but Jitsui replies he likes his look and believes he can gain something from it, which causes Kaminaga to comment he’s a scary child. Later Kaminaga will comment that underneath that innocent face lies a demon.

Jitsui points out that Kaminaga’s predisposition to misfortune is truly amazing, though he admits, Kaminaga also gets incredibly good luck, so he guess that balances it out.

When Kaminaga, by mistake, sent to Jitsui a message he planned to send to a girl which was filled with hearts, Jitsui replied with ‘Sleep peacefully, F-O-R-E-V-E-R~ (♡)’ which Kaminaga found very scary.

During the school special evacuation drill Jitsui, Kaminaga and Fukumoto search the area together.

Hatano

Jitsui agrees with Tazaki that Hatano’s lateness should be blamed to him getting involved in Amari’s shenigans AS USUAL.

Jitsui informs Hatano of how the Zeniarai Benten shrine works but when Hatano complains that Amari did a stupid thing by washing his hands there and not his money, Jitsui scolds him claiming Hatano washed his money to the point his wallet was soacked.

After seeing which sort of books Jitsui read (they’re about learning black magic and torture) and learning it’s not research material for his manga but just due to his hobby Hatano starts fearing Jitsui… despite Jitsui recommending the books to him.

Though Hatano probably knows Jitsui’s character well, he’s impressed by how quickly Jitsui can change face.

Hatano, by mistake, hits Jitsui with a pillow. Although Jitsui merely scolds him and doesn’t retaliate Hatano goes really scary Jitsui might end up on cursing him with black magic and hurries to apologize.

Amari

Jitsui and Amari’s interaction is extremely small.

Jitsui agrees with Tazaki that Hatano’s lateness should be blamed to him getting involved in Amari’s shenigans as usual.

Jitsui also tells Amari he’ll explain him what’s a colour ball later so now he should just shut up. Amari comments that as usual, Jitsui’s face and personality really does not match. Jitsui says nothing at this.

Jitsui is willing to admit that Kaminaga and Amari are both very popular with the girls. He also find that the difference between the way Amari and Kaminaga handle girls is marked.

Amari compares Jitsui and Hatano’s height, claiming Hatano should be the one smaller.

While Jitsui appreciates how Amari prepared for all the possibilities in regard to games to play during the school trip he also points out he didn’t even bring the most important thing, which is the travel itinerary.

Tazaki

When Amari and Hatano are late for lessons and Kaminaga comments they’re getting late together because they’re good friends, Tazaki disagrees, claiming that Hatano’s lateness should probably be due to him getting involved in Amari’s shenanigans, to which Jitsui agrees.

Tazaki helps Jitsui with his manga by doing corrections and cutting screen tones.

Tazaki tries to tell Jitsui redoing his manga when the deadline is that same day and they have to send the data by 5:00PM is impossible but Jitsui yells at him scaring him into submission.

Jitsui isn’t impressed by Tazaki’s magic tricks but he’s bothered by is his channel’s username (Tazakin). Later he’ll ask Tazaki and Odagiri to help him create a shojo manga in which love is born out of running away from zombies by playing a scary horror game. Tazaki comments that this is too big of a change from traditional shojo manga but in the end he’s forced to play anyway.

Jitsui thinks that Tazaki tossing a pillow at Miyoshi’s face and hitting his precious hair as well is an admirable declaration of war.

Fukumoto

Jitsui got scared by a half-asleep Fukumoto who grabbed his hand and saying “Marron-chan”. Though Fukumoto is embarrassed by this and asks him to forget about it.

Jitsui also warns Odagiri and Fukumoto not to live tweet everything being aired on tv as he got flooded and warns them he had muted them.

During the school special evacuation drill Jitsui, Kaminaga and Fukumoto search the area together.

Odagiri

Jitsu and Odagiri’s interaction is small.

Jitsui requests from Odagiri to stop using LINE and speak out normally, to which Odagiri replies, via LINE, that it’s troublesome to open his mouth. Jitsui and Odagiri, alongside with Tazaki, are also members of the same club and Jitsui forces Odagiri and Tazaki to help him complete the manga Jitsui draws by scaring them into submission. The work Jitsui hands them is so much that Odagiri risks to lose it due to how many screen tones he has to cut.

When Odagiri feels sick on the bus, Jitsui comments it’s just because he keeps on staring at his smartphone but when Odagiri gets worse he warns Sakuma that ‘Odagiri-kun is about to throw up’.

Jitsui thinks that Odagiri is a simpleton for starting to be interested in JG Musume just because one of it’s member looks like his old childhood friend, Chizu-nee. He also warns Odagiri and Fukumoto not to live tween everything being aired on tv as he got flooded and warns them he had muted them. When forced to swim which requires Odagiri to part from his precious smart phone, Jitsui suggests him to end swimming before the withdrawal symptoms will appear but later, once they have finished swimming, will scold Odagiri for crying clinging to his phone. Later he’ll ask Tazaki and Odagiri to help him create a shojo manga in which love is born out of running away from zombies by playing a scary horror game. Odagiri doesn’t want to help as he’s scared by horror games but he’s forced to play anyway.

Abilities

To scare everyone into submission and to act in a way that’s opposite to how he looks.

Trivia

Odagiri, along with Jitsui and Tazaki is a member of the Virtual Scientific and Cultural Research Club. In truth the Virtual Scientific and Cultural Research Club is a joint club for three different clubs and Jitsui was in the manga club, Odagiri was in the computer appreciation club and Tazaki in the magic tricks club. However since a club would get dissolved if it doesn’t have three members, they just joined their club together to form one.

[starsaboveyouadoption]

deep space - stage 2 (part 1)

So, if you’ve made it this far, you will have by now completed Stage 1 and all of the administrative processes that go with it, and have been given the all clear to proceed onto Stage 2, or as it’s better known the “home study”. This is where your adoption journey is likely to feel much more “real”, and you’ll notice the pace and intensity ramp up. This is such a huge area to explore that I thought I’d break it down in to 2 blogs – this blog will focus on what stage 2 actually is – how it’s conducted, what you can expect, and general top tips for getting the most from it to reach your end goal of becoming an approved prospective adopter. In the next blog, we’ll look at the specifics of the type of discussions and topics you will cover in Stage 2 with your social worker.

_

Stage 2 is centred around the creation of a PAR (Prospective Adopter’s Report), a huuuuge document which is compiled in collaboration with your social worker (don’t worry, they are doing all the official stuff!) which is taken to the first of 2 official panels you will attend – approval panel. We’ll visit the panel of its own accord in a future blog, but this is the official process by which you will be rubber stamped to become an adopter, and move on to finding a match. The PAR acts as an in-depth guide to everything about you the panel may need to know to make a decision on how well-equipped you are to become an adoptive parent. It’s their road map to your lifestyle, your relationships, your likely parenting style, your life experiences, and your commitment to the process, so you (and your Stage 2 worker) will live and breathe the PAR for about 4 months (timeframe depending on a whole host of factors but this is the official guidance of how long you can expect it to take). It will also tell the panel what is unique about you (and your partner if applicable). What can you specifically bring to an adopted child’s life? The PAR also comes into its own in the matching stages so you shouldn’t think of this as a “tickbox” exercise. You may feel sceptically like it is when you begin, but by panel, and certainly by matching, you will realise how vital it is to getting you out there and helping you to find a child.

You can think of the PAR as a twin to another report, a CPR (you’ll get used to lots of mundane acronyms!). CPRs are children’s equivalent report – in theirs, similar to you, will be the story of their life to date, their time in care, their needs and the type of adopters sought for them, and what is known about their birth history, including medical and developmental information. When matching PARs and CPRs are compared by social workers to help “shortlist” you for a child and these documents are swapped between parties to consider potential matches. For this reason, they need to be incredibly thorough and leave no stone unturned.

To facilitate this process, you will typically meet with your stage 2 social worker (probably a different worker to stage 1) to have a series of in-depth discussions or interviews over the course of a few months. As a guide, you can expect to meet with them between 10 and 15 times for about 2-3 hours, as well as lots of frantic emailing and phone calls as approval panel looms. Agencies approach this differently; you may, like us, be asked to complete written reflective work before each discussion, and you expand on this in the conversation with your social worker, who will then lift crucial parts from your workbook to compile the PAR. This seems to be the most common way, but the alternative is that you will just have verbal discussions that your social worker will take notes of and type up themselves. You will get the opportunity to read and edit the final report, minus redacted information about your medical (for some reason prospective adopters aren’t allowed to view their medical part of the report!) and confidential references. In addition, the PAR will include any observations your social worker has made about you independently that are pertinent to your approval. You may or may not be asked to complete some e-learning modules also. Through the process, the nearest thing I can describe Stage 2 as is a hybrid of doing some kind of NVQ whilst undertaking intense counselling therapy! It’s no joke that so many adopters refer to the home study as better than therapy, and I promise you you will learn so much more about yourself and your psyche than you ever thought possible – for free I might add! It really is fascinating. You’ll get the chance to really reflect on the person you’ve become and what that may say about your parenting approach, your strengths and weaknesses, and how your life experiences inform your world view. You’ll also be encouraged to think about any learning that’s arisen from life’s key events.

Throughout Stage 2, you are also forming a view with the support of your social worker, about matching considerations: the type of child you feel you can parent. In a couple blog’s time, I’ll be sharing what this may involve and some ways you may wish to approach this. Whilst it’s almost certain your views on matching will evolve and become more specific as you progress through Stage 2, it’s never too early from this point to start thinking about it, as it’s a huge aspect of the process that strangely, doesn’t always get afforded as much time as it should, so I’d recommend checking out my blog on matching asap on beginning your home study and starting to have conversations with your partner (if applicable). Very occasionally, your agency may have a specific child in mind when assessing you. If this is the case, most won’t share this with you until after panel, as to not distract you from the process, although there are exceptions. And I certainly wouldn’t assume that this is the case (as we’ll come to, framing your expectations at matching stage is important). However, it is a stance some agencies take to be more proactive in matching, and there are certainly benefits to this approach. Some agencies will begin to share some profiles on their books with you towards the end of stage 2 – this may not be for actual matching, but to begin to get you ready for processing that kind of information.

Typically, you will meet in the home, although there may be occasions you’re asked to meet your social worker at their offices. It is also not unusual to have 1 appointment or so where a third-party joins to give an official “second opinion” on anything from your PAR, usually towards the end of the sessions. There are a couple of times throughout the process you will be asked (if you have a partner) to be interviewed separately. Please don’t worry – this isn’t to “catch you out” on anything and isn’t a test – there are just certain areas where it’s important social workers get a sense of you as individuals, which will become clear.

So now we have some of the practicalities out the way, here are my top tips for making it through:

·        Your stage 2 worker is a key relationship – this is the person you are entrusting to handle confidential and nuanced information about you, champion you as adopters, get you to panel efficiently, “hold” any worries or concerns, and maybe support you in finding your child. For this reason, you should feel that they “have your back”. It can take time to warm to some people, and you may not be paired with someone who is a natural “fit” for your personality. A lot of working with social workers through the journey is about learning to work within the parameters of the process and be adaptable to their requirements, despite this being inconvenient or infuriating at times! It’s also about demonstrating your ability to form lasting, professional relationships with people who may test you at times, and so your ability to work out any potential challenges with your social worker will be seen as symptomatic of your likelihood of rising to challenges that adoptive parenting may present. So do try your hardest to work with them. However, if for any reason worries about them are festering, don’t sit with this for too long. The earlier you tackle issues, or if necessary, request a change of worker, the easier it is to iron things out without causing complications. This all said, most people cannot praise their stage 2 worker enough. Ours was absolutely brilliant and we couldn’t have asked for someone more in tune with us.

·        I’ll repeat this so much, but honesty is always the best policy. It can be tempting to try to present your best self by hiding or minimising aspects of your life that you feel may get in the way of assessment. My experience is that actually most issues can be discussed and resolved, but it will be a problem if something problematic arises at a later date that you’ve been seen to purposely conceal. Social workers are trained to support you through and help you to overcome obstacles. They want you to succeed as much as you do, so as hard as it is, taking that leap of faith and presenting them with the reality and not the rose-tinted stance will pay dividends in the end. You want your PAR to represent who you really are, warts and all, so you find the best child for you. You won’t feel like it so many times during this process, but as a “survivor” (!) of it, I can tell you it really is true that no-one is expecting perfection. You are being held to a higher standard than the average parent, but that is for good reason – adoptive parenting is “parenting plus”. Parenting an adoptive child takes reserves of emotional energy that many people will never have to draw upon, so it’s vital there is a rigorous process. But try to believe me, this doesn’t mean you have to be flawless. They just want you to be a good-enough human!

·        Wearing your heart on your sleeve doesn’t come easy to everyone. I get it. The adoption process will require emotional openness. Your social worker will coach you through this, but it’s worth preparing for the fact you will be asked to be open and reflective about a host of quite personal issues that may feel uncomfortable and/or taboo. These will include details of your childhood, past and present relationships, any trauma you may have experienced and intimate subjects concerning things like infertility and even attitudes to sex. This is done with the goal of assessing your resilience, strengths, and perseverance, as well as understanding the world view you bring with you to parenting. Social workers will often tell you it’s the life experiences that you may attach shame or sadness to that actually turn out to be the things that really recommend your ability to be there for an adoptive child. The process mines for these for good reason and for a purpose. I found debriefs after appointments helped to shake off some of the emotional residue.

·        On a practical level, make things as easy as possible for yourself. If your company has an adoption policy, you’ll usually find an entitlement to up to 5 adoption appointments during work time. Not all will offer this but it’s becoming the general norm, so do take advantage of this where possible. If you’re lucky like I was to work for an employer who are flexible, you may want to talk to your manager about how you could adapt working days so that you don’t necessarily use annual leave. I appreciate the concerns some may have with discussing adoption with their manager early on, but I would advise wherever possible to have a discrete confidential chat about it with your boss if at all possible, so you can mutually decide on some of the logistics of how you’ll balance appointments with work, and any impact it may have on your work life. For me the impact was mostly having to juggle around appointments and for my manager to know that I may need to make use of my personal phone at certain times. Thankfully, my company is very big on flexible working and has modern policies, so I was able to use a combination of the allotted 5 appointments, flexible hours, some home working on days it made sense to be at home around an awkward appointment time, and then my agency being willing to come for evening appointments which I appreciate isn’t an option for all. You’d be surprised when you think creatively how possible it is to cram it all in though, and you will find a way.

·        It’s so much easier said than done, but something that helped me was having “adoption-free days”. As stage 2 wears on, you’re likely to find it increasingly intense and hard to wind down from in your spare time. You’ll probably be experiencing a mix of excitement and anxiety and researching anything and everything you can get your hands on, and while there’s a place for that, it can cause you to lose perspective, struggle to concentrate on other priorities, and more importantly, leave you feeling a little depleted of energy. It’s hard to step away as sometimes we can feel that the best way to feel in control of the journey is to think of nothing else, but trust me, you’re going to need times throughout stage 2 where you allow yourself time off. For me, this meant days where I tried to limit phone time (so I wasn’t endlessly googling things and posting/reading adoption forums incessantly), plan something fun and distracting that was in line with something just for me (this could be a hobby or interest I already had), having QT with my partner where we banned adoption talk, and physically just being kinder to myself by resting more and placing less expectations on myself. For someone who wanted children so much, I was then taken aback when I found myself craving a break from it all at times, but that’s just normal.

·        Strike a balance between preparation and protection. Some agencies will expect within stage 2 for you to start making your house ready for a child. One of the more bizarre aspects I found was that a lot of agencies (mine wasn’t as big on this) expect people to have their baby’s room ready and set up, as well as some other fixtures and fittings like stair gates, and childproofing etc before even reaching approval panel. The rationale for this was that it helps your readiness and evidences to panel you’ve taken practical steps, but it can feel very surreal. Agencies differ and mine was laid back, and in fact I actually resisted most impulses to shop or decorate until after approval panel because I felt superstitious. It’s really difficult because those of us adopting due to infertility can feel robbed of many of the aspects of parenthood that others get – the pregnancy, the visible sign that you’re expecting, the ability to go out and shop for little baby clothes and toys – and so it can be tempting to do this to make it all “real”. I had some real highs and lows during the matching stages, and I did learn that it can be very heart-breaking at times to be surrounded by too much baby stuff while you’re desperately waiting. It’s tough, but try to think about what you could cope to se every day if matching took, say 6 months. Do you feel comfortable to walk into a nursery and see stuffed toys and a wardrobe full of clothes or is this going to affect your wellbeing longer term? It’s a personal decision. For me, it felt much more positive to do many of these things once I was formally an approved adopter and when I had a real child to prepare for but each to their own.

·        Particularly in the matching stages (I’ll go into this in the separate blog), but throughout stage 2, it’s important not to say what you think the social workers want to hear, or the politically correct version, but what you truly feel inside is right for you. In the end, honesty will ensure that you are matched to the right child, with the highest likelihood of a successful placement, so that means getting brutally honest with yourself about what you feel you can take on, where you stand on certain sensitive issues, and your world views. For example, you may be asked if you feel you can parent a child with significant developmental needs. Or you may be asked how you would feel about parenting a child from a different religious or ethnic background to your own. Or maybe if you would be willing to take future siblings of an adopted child should the birth parents go on to have more pregnancies. There are lots of very legitimate, nuanced reasons why some matching criteria may not be suited to you, and you’ll need to be able to feel comfortable to be honest about this with your social worker. Its their job to be approachable so that you can be honest with them and once again, you do not have to be a perfect person open to all possibilities. You just need to be real, and yourself. Much more on this in an upcoming blog.

·        I joked earlier about stage 2 feeling like an NVQ – this wasn’t entirely said in jest! We got through mountains of written questions for our workbook prep, and it easily took us 2-3 hours each a week to complete. It’s worth knowing this in advance as I had no idea how in-depth some of our “homework” would be, so it can help to factor this into your diary. Looking back, I have always made myself too busy at the most ridiculous times. I was still scheduling in loads of meetups with friends and family around the process, and with hindsight a few nights “off” a week so I could focus on homework and then chill out would have been a saving grace. Choose a time you truly have the space and energy to be reflective, and where you can take the time you need.

·        Don’t be too prescriptive from the get-go – you’ll learn so much about yourself and the child that might be right for you through stage 2 that while I’d advocate for preparing some thoughts, it helps not to box yourself in too soon. A good example of this is the age range of children. You will typically be asked to choose category of age you would like to be approved for at panel. This can emerge during stage 2 and you don’t really need to decide until your PAR is formally submitted at the end. Our age bracket and lots of other matching considerations chopped and changed a lot so keep an open mind and utilise the process as the best teacher. What’s right for you will naturally emerge with the right coaching from your social worker. One caveat to this is that social workers will usually want a sense reasonably early on for whether you would like to adopt siblings or a single child as this does fundamentally change how you will be assessed and the types of conversations you need to have.

·        Keep the lines of communication open with your partner (if applicable) – a golden rule in adoption is if something’s a no for one of you, it should be a no for both. Are you on the same page? How do you feel about the issues you’ve discussed? Are you moving in the same direction? We tried to do regular check ins, and this helped us feel like we were a team rather than going through it as two individuals. I’d actually day the adoption process really brought us together as a couple – it’s the first time we had to “work” together for want of a better phrase and it helped our communication and sense of togetherness enormously. There will be times you are in different head spaces and that’s okay – sometimes this is just a case of processing a particularly difficult issue or challenge before arriving at a decision, but do keep talking.

·        Think about what you’re comfortable telling who, and when. My partner and I had a broken match which got to very late stages before breaking down (more of that in a later blog) and it was probably to this day the most heart-breaking experience of my life. I’m close with my family and friends, and naturally had wanted to share with them my journey but I look back now and would play it all so differently. Consider how wearing it might be to have to continually answer well-meaning questions about your progress and if you’ve been matched. Adoption is still quite a mystery to many, and people are naturally and understandably curious about it so with the best of intentions people often will ask quite invasive questions which can feel draining to keep repeating. Add that to any underlying grief you may be re-experiencing in relation to infertility…it’s a lot. You need to do what’s right for you. I certainly couldn’t have got through the process if I’d have not told a soul – I had a village of a support network that massively held me up in the most trying times, but I did also have times I really wish I didn’t have to keep re-living all of it with everybody. Whatever you decide – whether to share the whole roller-coaster with everybody – or to choose a select group you trust before trekking the wider world, try to do so consciously. It’s another cruelty of infertility (if this applies to you) that that preparation excitement that biological parents get to experience is a little tarnished by the anxiety of the process, but believe me, when you find your child, you’ll want to shout it from the rooftops and it’ll all be worth it. Equally, I would say that it will be incredibly isolating if you choose to not tell a soul. I think I would have found it impossible to try to keep all my plates spinning at work for example, if I hadn’t have been able to explain to my manager the likely impact, or to have met up with friends and them not know such a massive aspect of my life was changing, so make sure you have some close buddies beside you to walk with you too.

·        Finally, expect the process to bring up big feelings. There’s probably not a human out there who hasn’t experienced some form of grief, loss, bereavement, or trauma, and as I mentioned earlier, these times will be touched upon throughout in the context of understanding how you’ve come to be the person you are today. Some examples of issues you might need to discuss are infertility, infant loss, miscarriage, childhood traumas, health conditions, life challenges…and there will inevitably be days where this level of scrutiny and revisiting the past takes its toll. I’d bring you back to debriefing and self-care. I found it was the smallest things that helped me cope with this; little rituals I made for myself like a bath with a candle and a book, some alone time, or perhaps journaling any persistent feelings to get them out on to a page. Sometimes just getting a decent night’s sleep made all the difference.

So, I hope this has been helpful in preparing you for what to expect from stage 2 in a more general sense. Next blog, I’ll be taking you through the specific topics you are likely to discuss with your social worker for your PAR in your appointments, with prompts on some things it may be worth starting to reflect on already.

Until next time!

[lcncasters-blog]

hey everyone!!! i’m d, i’m 23, and i use they/them pronouns. super hyped about being here so i’ma just get right into it

so kai is my fave character and kinda notoriously The Worst while also being The Best, so i’m warning y’all before we even go in that he’s actually so sloppy and wild pls proceed w/ caution. i’ve been playing him for over 4 years. that being said, he does have a fuck ton of information, so while the bullet points are going to be as condensed as i can possibly make them, you should really check out the appearance section (or you can just look at my sidebar which is wonderful artwork of kai one of my close friends did for me --- give them love on their art blog nialls ok SO talented) of his STATS FRAMEWORK and then if you really hate yourself i have a DEVELOPMENT TAG too with a bunch of headcanons (feel free to RB the rebloggable ones from me btw)

LOUIS TOMLINSON? no ⏤ KAI LANCASTER, the DEMIBOY is TWENTY-THREE and was born with a GOLD soul, and now has a GREY soul. i would describe HIM/THEM as EXUBERANT + BRAVE, yet CARELESS + IMPATIENT. KAI spends HIS/THEIR time PLAYING AT SMALL VENUES WITH HIS ALT ROCK BAND AND WORKING AS A NANNY and has lived in seattle for TWO YEARS.

TW FOR TERMINAL ILLNESS/CANCER, SUBSTANCE ABUSE MENTIONS, ABLEISM, & MENTIONS OF SELF-HARM/SUICIDE.

kai was born a gold soul into a pretty posh, old-money typea family in manchester, uk. like i’m talking on his mothers side they’re all doctors, lawyers, scholars, etc, etc, and on his dad’s side entrepeneurs. his parents themselves built a fairly large business from the ground up together that now goes by the name of lancaster industries. their current biggest venture and pretty much what they’ve built the whole of their fortune on is a chain of luxury hotels that you can find basically in every major city in the world.

he had 3 younger sisters who he essentially raised considering his parents were too busy to be around during their childhood. only two of them are still living, his youngest sister having passed a couple years ago at the age of 7 from leukemia.

his mother is literally the devil? kai always hated school/struggled in it for a multitude of reasons, not the least of which were his not diagnosed adhd and his dyslexia, which he never got the help he probably needed for. he’s always kinda just thought he was extremely stupid, and that idea was reinforced by the way his mother always used to tell him the very same thing. “think harder, kai. use your brain.” is a phrase that’s essentially been reinforced so many times in his head, he p much hears her voice ringing in his ears every time he gets so much as vaguely confused now.

that being said, despite how he struggled in school, he was always a very vibrant, kind, charismatic, and magnetic young person. he tends to draw people into him with his silly nature and upbeat attitude, and he’s kind of the Eternal Optimist, so he was fairly popular when he was attending. to say he has eccentricities would be putting it lightly, and he’s loud, never seeming to run out of things to say or fail to command the interest of the room.

anyway things with his mum only got worse in his relationship with her when he barely managed to complete his a levels by the skin of his teeth (and with an absurd amount of tutoring), and then refused to go to the university of her choosing. she p much wanted him to “get his shit together” so he could take over the family business someday, but i am not kidding when i say kai would wilt away and probably legit just die if he had to work in a place like that forever – and that’s assuming he even got through business school in the first place.

his father was always a push-over and sort of was absent/bent to her will when he was around, so he didn’t bother to defend kai when his mother decided 2 cut him off from everything and essentially ex-communicate him once she realised he was refusing 2 be manipulated and forced into shit anymore.

that was at age 18, and by that point he had plans to move out and travel to london with his best mate anyway, so he was basically like “peace out” and got the hell out of dodge. he still harbours a lot of guilt for abandoning his younger sisters, particularly so considering his youngest one fell ill so soon after his departure.

he lives, breathes, and sleeps piano. music as a whole is something he’s passionate about, having taken the time to develop his somewhat unorthodox voice, but the way his fingers fly over the ivories is a living art form more than it is anything. it’s how he communicates, how he speaks his deepest truth and just like? put those feelings out there into the world that he otherwise wouldn’t be able to articulate in the common vernacular.

so what he wants to do with his life is to just? talk to people? through his music? to play for them and the be in front of a crowd every night and to feel the energy of them, to command them with his presence and to exist with them in that way. he almost gets high off of it? he’s been playing small shows since age nineteen with his band, but since he moved to america he obvi hasn’t had them and has been on his own.

SORRY I’M REALLY TRYING TO CONDENSE THIS so ok basically he was in love w this girl from the time they were 14. they lost their virginity 2 each other, they were on & off all through HS, & then through to age 20 after he moved away and all that. she was v v ill and struggled with mental illness and kai tried his best 2 take care of her, but he was always in over his head despite his dedication to like making her feel OKAY. she needed help that he could not give 2 her, and they ended up breaking up & him letting her go at the end. she died soon after that, and it remains unclear 2 him whether or not it was a suicide. it was officially ruled as an “accident”, but he knows different and yeah i mean. essentially like.... the most “smudges” on his soul kinda came from his sitch w her bc he was always coming and leaving and dropping her and returning when she needed him and like. he TRIED but he just COULDN’T? anyways

after that he got involved with this boy who was a substance abuser, addicted to H to b exact, and for a while he thought that he was getting better and they were building off of each other, building a healthy life together. the fact he called kai his “new addiction” was probably never a good thing, but kai didn’t recognize that at the time. they got engaged eventually, and kai was 100% convinced that he was the actual love of his life after caro. of course, in the end, it wasn’t built to last, and when it went bad, it went really bad. kai eventually felt like there was a chasm several miles deep between them, and he had no hope of getting to the other side again. he broke it off, broke the guy’s heart, and made his soul even darker.

THIS NEXT ONE IS KINDA AN OPTION CONNECTION OKAY SO IF ANY1 IS INTERESTED PLS PLS LMK!!!

kai has been posting vids on YT of him covering songs on his YouTube for like actual years, and when he was around 20 he met this person via the comments section on one of them. they seemed to be quite the fan of his interpretation of some of the songs he chose to play. they ended up talking more and more as time went on, exchanging contact information, and grew very very very close.

that was the start of the LDR that is what brought him to america/to seattle in the first place. they were together for about eight months and had seen each other in person three times for a total of about 3 weeks before he made the decision to get started on his visa and move to the states. the moment he was able to, he crossed the pond and moved in w them!!

strain on their relationship was created when at first kai was unable to find work and contribute to the bills and the household funds. they lived in a tiny flat, and going from barely seeing each other to having each other all at once and all the time was a lot. on top of that, kai was homesick and restless and felt trapped because that’s what kai does and it’s not okay and it’s totally wrong and he cheated on them soooo there’s another tick against his soul ig. within six months of his arrival, they broke up, and kai moved out.

he couch surfed w some friends he’d met 4 a while, and eventually found a decent paying job as a nanny for a well off family.

he plays live shows at small venues in bars/clubs and still seeks to make a living as a musician but it’s hard out there and plus his soul aint exactly the prettiest to look at any more. i mean he doesn’t have a DARK DARK grey soul, it’s more a lighter grey, not quite silver, but definitely not storm clouds.

he’s still working on getting his full citizenship though he’s v v v close 2 it & has been lowkey getting help from his cousin w paying for the process so!!

THAT’S BASICALLY IT

last but not least IM REALLY FUCKING SORRY  ICOULDN’T MAKE THIS SHORTER I JUST HAVE A LOT OF THOUGHTS AND fEELIGNSA

SEND ME AN IM OR LIKE IF YOU WANT TO PLOT!

[youthincare]

A group of people who have been directly harmed by informant provocateurs have put together this checklist, drawing on personal experiences as well as those of other activists and information from informant provocateurs who have gone public. We hope you can learn from the damage that has already been done, so these people can be stopped before they are able to harm you.

Here are ten warning signs:

1. Something feels “off.” Something about them just doesn’t line up. Their stories about their activist history or life history, don’t ring true. At this point, you need to run a background and criminal check. If you wait for all the other signs, it may be too late. The most obvious cause for serious concern is when someone shows up in an activist community and they don’t seem to have existed prior to that. That should be a deal breaker right off the bat.

2. Despite the misgivings of some members, the individual quickly rises to a leadership position. S/he eagerly takes credit for actions in the media and begins to promote him/herself. S/he works to become one of the “faces” of the organization, and clearly wants to be a poster child for the group, attempting to “brand” their identity with the group’s name, imagery, and identity. S/he likes getting photographed, even when engaged in illegal activity.

3. S/he photographs actions, meetings, and people that should not be photographed. S/he posts photos of actions and meetings on social media sites like Facebook, even tagging activists without their permission (in effect, facilitating law enforcement surveillance).

4. S/he is a liar. S/he shows signs of lacking ethics and lacking transparency with the rest of the group.

5. S/he advocates for high-risk illegal action to people s/he should not trust, while claiming to understand the importance of security culture. S/he goads others to violent action, for example by telling them they need to be “warriors.” Upon reflection, the illegal actions in question often have no real purpose and will not advance the goals of the group in any meaningful way. The person generally has a very twisted perception of what it means to be a warrior.

S/he seeks internal rifts in the community and exploits them. S/he has a cycle of abuse with groups and individuals: a honeymoon period, followed by manipulative, abusive behavior, followed by apologies and promises to do better. Then the cycle repeats.

6. S/he always has bail money and pocket money, but either no real job, or no job that pays that much. S/he may imply access to a trust fund or similar resources, but this needs to be checked. S/he somehow has the financial freedom to be at any action that will get media attention, or any underground action that may involve illegal activity.

7. S/he is found to be lying about really serious things like identity, family, background, race, or ethnicity.

8. S/he has warrants but is unafraid of announcing and advocating illegal action, using his/her real name, publicly advertising his/her whereabouts, and once again jumping into the frame whenever photos or video are being taken at illegal actions. When picked up, s/he always makes bail and gets released, sometimes released on Own Recognizance even when the charges are very serious. This happens a lot. Then the individual goes right back to meetings, taking photos and posing for photo ops. S/he has a Catch and Release cycle with the cops. S/he may have a history of very early release from prison, then going directly to political meetings, sometimes of groups s/he privately claims to hate, or that would have been forbidden as a condition of normal parole.

9. Juicy information, given only to the suspected informant, comes out the law enforcement end. To be sure this is taking place, the information must be unmistakable, and have been shared face to face, one on one, with zero possibility of surveillance (say, whispered in the informant’s ear in the middle of a field).

10. Full admission: “My name is ________ and I was employed by [agency] to infiltrate [organization].” A full admission of informant and/or provocateur status may include details of what the informant provocateur received in exchange for their work: either the amount of money they were paid, or the deal they got to be released from prison or avoid prosecution for particular crimes. In some cases, the deal includes a future position with the law enforcement or intelligence agency that hired them. On the unlikely chance that someone is mentally ill, this information could conceivably be checked against the going rate for informant provocateurs; but if the other criteria are met, assume they are telling you the truth, even if they are mentally ill. While mentally ill people do not make reliable informants, they can make excellent provocateurs, and their history of instability can be cited as evidence when law enforcement denies the individual was hired as a provocateur.

If a person meets any of the criteria beyond points 1 through 3, you shouldn’t be working with them. Hopefully, all the points beyond number one will not even matter, as you will have already cut ties with the person after the first red flag. Regardless of whether we can prove someone is an infiltrator, if they display any of the problematic behavior described here, they shouldn’t be party to anything sensitive in the first place. Even if they’re not an infiltrator yet, it offers reason to believe they could be turned or crack under interrogation.

Here are some other warning signs to watch for. When it comes to people’s daily behavior, outside of meetings and actions, is the suspicious person behaving inappropriately with children? Are they harming their partners? Can they not keep their hands off kids? Or are they trying to sleep with multiple adults in the group (or one of the leaders)? Make sure you don’t have a pedophile who was let free in exchange for disruption, or a serial rapist or woman beater who has been turned loose on an activist community to cause devastation. Note when such people never face consequences from law enforcement, even when the victims press charges. If there’s a solid case against a predator, and that predator is allowed to flee, then goes to political meetings in another jurisdiction while the feds refuse to extradite him for trial… bingo.

In our recent experience, a predator who met nine out of ten of the above criteria (including number ten: an admission to other activists he was trying to turn) was never convicted by law enforcement. Instead, he was turned loose on a series of activist communities, wreaking havoc and destruction. Only his death put a stop to it. But there are plenty just like him, eager to take his place. Some of them may be on your friends list on Facebook. Some may have literally gotten away with murder.

When it comes to the thorny question of agents provocateurs and direct action, the point is not whether violence or nonviolence is preferable, but whether someone has violated the consensus of their affinity group and put their team in danger without their consent. It is irresponsible to allege that violence is always the work of agents provocateurs; rather, agents provocateurs set out to instigate violence that will be disadvantageous or isolating for the participants.

Here’s an example. Someone who has met all the above criteria except numbers nine and ten shows up at a public march. The march has been planned as a peaceful, legal event. Perhaps not all actions by this group are peaceful and legal, but for this event, that is the agreed strategy. The event is covered by the media, people are using their real names, and elders and children are participating. The provocateur has spent months ingratiating himself into the group, showing up for every action, paying the bills, giving people rides, saying whatever they want to hear, even buying them drugs. But once the march is underway and the cameras are rolling, the provocateur proceeds to show no regard for the safety or consensus of his group. He does whatever he can to shift the mood of the crowd, to instigate and encourage high emotions. The conditions are tense, and the provocateur does what he can to encourage breaks with discipline, and violations of the conditions previously agreed to. Suddenly he strikes out with a small but significant action, say of property damage or violence toward an individual, providing the flashpoint for sudden escalation. Then, as others follow suit, and illegal and dangerous actions erupt in front of the cameras, the provocateur fades back into the crowd, his mission accomplished. He has now put vulnerable and unprepared members of the community into direct danger, leaving them to handle the consequences of his actions while once again he goes free.

Check videos of actions on YouTube. Some people have filmed themselves breaking the law at actions. Some videos include this flashpoint moment. Note who does this over and over. Note who is and isn’t arrested for these things, and who does and doesn’t do time.

Successful agents can be hard to spot. But most infiltrators are not trained law enforcement officers. Most are criminals who have been cut a deal if they simply go to meetings and listen, or if they go to meetings and actions and disrupt.

In our experience, there have been a bare few, but significant, cases in which activists have been mistaken in their suspicions. In one case long ago that affected many of us, this misidentification had devastating consequences. The mistake was due to a lack of evidence and experience on the part of those who made the misidentification and a lack of solid criteria with which to evaluate the situation–not to mention the participation of actual agents in scapegoating an innocent woman. But because of this serious mistake, many activists compounded that mistake by swinging to the other extreme, overlooking blatant red flags and even direct admissions of infiltrator status. By providing this checklist, we aim to help you to develop your ability to identify, and prioritize, the truth in these situations. It’s not “bad jacketing” when it’s true.

There are a number of guidelines and articles out there about security culture. But just because a group has posted links or statements about the need for security culture doesn’t mean everyone in that group is paying attention and practicing security culture properly. We recommend this text to people and hope that this checklist will be a helpful addition.

Be safe, be effective, and trust your gut.