#that people care even when im this pathetic

[roman-o-cheese]

Happy “panic attack at the thought of doing anything” season guys!!!🎉🎉🎉

[exanimateporcelain]

i know it's selfish, but sometimes i wish i was actually the kind and good person i've always been made out to be.

[anadorablekiwi]

I forgot about my wrio plushie

[rookflower]

Sandstorm dying solely to further alderheart’s pissbaby manpain made me so upset. alderheart in general just pisses me off… him and tree were both just so blatantly written to steal the arc from their she-cat counterparts lmfao (sparkpelt, sandstorm, needletail, violetshine). that’s it, that’s their purpose… similar to rootspring and nightheart. I just can’t enjoy characters whose purpose narratively is to shove the she-cats to the wayside… it happens so much in this series already

yeah 😔 it's the repetition of the archetype and the context around it that gets me- on his own, alderheart is just "guy i don't really care about", same with rootspring and tree, but the more i sit down and think "hm, why are the male characters in the series written this way and the female characters written this way? why are events ordered in a way that constantly shifts attention and sympathy back towards the male characters?" i start to get mad about lots of little tiny details, which in turn make egregious things like "arc 1 legacy character getting unceremoniously fridged by dying in a ditch somewhere for a pittance of character development her boring grandson while all of her male counterparts get comparatively way more respectful or impactful deaths" even worse somehow.

[cowardlycowboys]

“Slut your wrists! Kill yourself! then you post a selfie saying “Don’t want to smile feel weird about it” as a desperate attempt to get compliments. You’re in your mid twenties doing all this😭 Grow up you’re not a teenager anymore. 30 is closer than ever and you’re breaking down because someone asked if you cry a lot? Someone mentions your jowls and you freak out. You tell them to kill themselves. People your age are Mothers. You might not have any but act your age. Geez.

my dick must taste fantastic for how far you're throating it

[3-aem]

You do not deserve ANY of the shit you're getting. You're a legend for putting up with all this

yea ur right i am a legend weaker men would have crumbled but im still here fighting fighting for what say it with me

gj’s boobs

[an-theduckin]

Wait shit people might actually care about me

[twobellsilence]

not gonna lie guys i think I'm starting to like Jimmy

[melto]

my birthday week is like a fight for my fucking life.

[girlivealwaysbean]

sometimes my boobs hurt so much i think they're gonna bleed surely this is normal right

[lesbianfrottage]

Realized I'm too lashy outy rn to even try and claw my way out of this by talking to people because if I have to hear people gush about their love lives rn it's gonna kill me and make me just not behave right and I don't WANT to do that I'm just so goddamn jealous.

[pleasedontcareaboutme]

i think i finally realized why ive been feeling so damn depressed lately again

sorry for writing this here. im really hurting actually. im not good. i feel a bit helpless too. idk who to talk to bc i dont want to burden anyons and i donf feel like anything could console me right now

Like. fuck me man. thanks for saving me but. why the hell are you not here. i dont want to do this without you. i hate only being able to remember you. i was supposed to grow old with you, not without you.

And. honestly. even with all this bullshit i say here, all the endless times i spend trying to write down my feelings, abt you, about all the pain ive felt my life, it doesnt get better. not at all. and no words, no poetry takes it away and i truly feel like nobody will ever truly understand how suffocated i felt all my life.

and i want to change thanks to you but. i dont know. nothing's satisfying enough.

no matter what, i truly only feel great when im in that daydream like world you created.

and these past days ive been thinking a lot that. i really wouldnt mind dying right now. not at all. because at least i know what happiness feels like. and i want to stay in that state. probably, even in this life your music will bring me happiness, but i want to be trapped in it.

im tired of being so unseen, and even when im seen, im hurting. but i dont know whats hurting. i think im just really tired thats all.

and. ye. i feel brave tbh. i still havent posted my video to instagram, bc im not brave for that. i dont know. and i feel like a hypocrite bc everything is true that i wrote there but at the same time these are my thoughts currently

in a long while i looked up suicide methods again. i feel so hopeful, but im not really sure if really for the future. jm sorry this is probably alarming. i will probably not kill myself but. idk. im not sure actually. i dknt know what to say. i wasnt cut out for this wordly shit.i feel unlovable but even if im loved, i donf want to be. i dont want anything. just let me stsy in this quiet place snd just. disappear. i wouldnt want my family to hurt if i die but i wont know about it anyways. idk man. i feel strongly i could die calmly this time and thats nice. bc 6 years ago i was terrified, and hurt. but now im content and kind of ready idk man. its not a terrible feeling, its a "this is it, it was nice while it lasted" ig.

there are no clouds in my head actually. i truly dont feel like im thinking irrationally, i feel like this would just be like. the end goal i was looking for. to feel true love once. it was nice.

no goodbye yet bc idk how id kms even if i do. But ill tell u guys if i found something.

[unityrain24]

you don't have to read this i just have so much pent-up in my head.

(if you do tho the tags are just as important as the post.)

i wish i could make people unfollow me without blocking them? bc like. every single palestine ask i get (whether spam or real) they follow me. even though it's not set up so only followers can send asks. i think they do it because like, then they think i will be more willing to help? bc follower counts are so important on other platforms and to most people, it's probably like an exchange? They do the nicety of adding to my follower count and so i will be more willing to donate money to their cause? but like. i don't want followers just for followers. it makes me uncomfortable. i've got a little over 150 followers right now but probably a third are palestine fundraiser blogs (and a few bots i can't tell are bots or not and promotional spam). it makes me uncomfortable? it makes me feel like the numbers a lie? i want the people following me to be there because they actually care about my blog/me?

obviously i don't want to block these people! they are in a genocide trying to do whatever they can to survive! they are on here trying to ask anyone and everyone so that out of the hundred of people they ask maybe one or two can donate a few dollars! they are trying every tactic they can to make people listen to them! following! posting photos! using eye-catching colours and fonts! writing out their stories! all things that are emotionally and or/physicaly exhausting and draining all in an attempt to just get someone to listen! and honestly it's sort of unfair that they have to follow random people and clog up their dash with random stuff just so people are more willing to help (obviously most of these people didn't have tumblr before and aren't here for the dash, but i imagine a dash full of palestine help would be less overwhelming than a huge mass of random fandoms while you go find people to ask).

[miallurk]

In these days i realized i like art and writing and creating and shopping and taking walks and talking to people and cleaning and helping and studying and doing things but i'm just. too stressed, tired and burned out to do them. How great!

[phagodyke]

sometimes I wish I was a more interesting + charismatic person just so I could keep conversations going bc I like sharing space with other ppl but they routinely lose all interest and leave once I run out of things to say/start talking abt things that don't concern them :-(

[wp100]

only on twitter you can find people making stupid ass comments like this about world of warcraft

yup, i'm totally ruining world of warcraft by buying stuff from the shop. you can't stop me