#a cardboard box on the side of the road would still be better living conditions than what they are going through!

[unityrain24]

you don't have to read this i just have so much pent-up in my head.

(if you do tho the tags are just as important as the post.)

i wish i could make people unfollow me without blocking them? bc like. every single palestine ask i get (whether spam or real) they follow me. even though it's not set up so only followers can send asks. i think they do it because like, then they think i will be more willing to help? bc follower counts are so important on other platforms and to most people, it's probably like an exchange? They do the nicety of adding to my follower count and so i will be more willing to donate money to their cause? but like. i don't want followers just for followers. it makes me uncomfortable. i've got a little over 150 followers right now but probably a third are palestine fundraiser blogs (and a few bots i can't tell are bots or not and promotional spam). it makes me uncomfortable? it makes me feel like the numbers a lie? i want the people following me to be there because they actually care about my blog/me?

obviously i don't want to block these people! they are in a genocide trying to do whatever they can to survive! they are on here trying to ask anyone and everyone so that out of the hundred of people they ask maybe one or two can donate a few dollars! they are trying every tactic they can to make people listen to them! following! posting photos! using eye-catching colours and fonts! writing out their stories! all things that are emotionally and or/physicaly exhausting and draining all in an attempt to just get someone to listen! and honestly it's sort of unfair that they have to follow random people and clog up their dash with random stuff just so people are more willing to help (obviously most of these people didn't have tumblr before and aren't here for the dash, but i imagine a dash full of palestine help would be less overwhelming than a huge mass of random fandoms while you go find people to ask).

[vintagedolan]

cross country (gbd)

description: when you get stuck in california during quarantine with a dwindling lease at the dolan’s house, grayson wants nothing more than for you to get to new jersey with him

word count: 4.5k

warnings/tags: fluff, this is literally um the softest thing i’ve written???, quarantine/COVID, grayson spoiling Y/N, you get the picture hehe

feel free to send in requests! i’ll write most things! hope you enjoy, send me some feedback and I’ll give you my eternal love :)

You never wanted to lift another box in your whole life, that was for damn sure. There was sweat running down your forehead as you lifted the next one, carrying the cardboard all the way through the house into the living room, which was becoming a huge pile of everything that the twins had acquired over their years in LA. 

The plan was simple: the boys were going home to jersey to see their mom before the quarantine got too serious, and then they were coming right back because they needed to find a place in LA, seeing that their lease was ending. 

Well, needless to say, that plan had gone to absolute shit. And that meant you were thousands of miles away from Grayson, and had three days before you would be homeless. 

Lovely. 

The nice thing about it was that you didn’t have much time to mope - since the boys were still in jersey, all the packing was left up to you. And while you were efficient, it didn’t mean it wasn’t a lot of fucking work. 

You went back into Ethan’s room, getting another box of clothes. As you walked, your phone vibrated in the pocket on the side of your leggings. You knew who it was, but you waited until you got to the living room and sat the box down to answer it. 

A facetime from Grayson. That brightened your mood considerably. 

When you swiped over, you immediately relaxed a bit at the sight of his face. His hair was getting so long during quarantine, and it was pushed back with a headband he’d borrowed from his mom, no doubt. He was in a tshirt, which was different than the rest of the times he’d called you. Which was about ten times a day.

“Hey baby,” you smiled at him, catching your breath as you walked back to your shared room. As much as you wanted to sit down and relax and talk to your boyfriend, there wasn’t enough time for all that.  

“You look exhausted,” was the first thing he said. 

“Wow, thank you so much, love you too,” you teased. 

“You look beautiful, you know that’s not what I meant. I’m just saying that-”

“I’m kidding Gray. And before you start worrying for the hundredth time today, I’m fine,” you reminded him as you pulled out a dresser drawer you shared, beginning to transfer the clothes into yet another box. He watched you work with sad eyes, and you knew what was coming before he said it.

“I feel like shit that you’re doing all this work.”

“You shouldn’t.”

“But I do.”

“Would you do it for me? If you were stuck across the country in my house-”

“Our house,” he corrected. You couldn’t tell if he was referring to sharing with you or with Ethan, or both, but you kept going regardless.

“Okay, stuck in our house, and I needed to pack it all up, would you do it for me?”

He hesitated, and you knew he didn’t have a good response to that.

“That’s different,” was his only comeback, and you laughed a bit.

“Bullshit. You’re just mad because I’m gonna have to wear all your clothes cause none of mine will fit over my new muscles,” you joked, flexing your scrawny arms. You knew you looked dumb, but it got the laugh out of Grayson that you were hoping for, and that’s all that mattered.

“Right, you act like you don’t just wear my clothes all the time anyways. I’m not even sure you have any clothes of your own,” he teased, running a hand through his hair.

“Oh really? I could have sworn these were mine.” You dug around the drawer, finding a particularly nice pair of lace panties, holding them up to the screen. He groaned, falling out of screen for a moment. It took a second for you to realize he’d fallen back on the bed. 

“You don’t play fair,” he said once he moved his phone back to his face. “I miss you so fuckin’ much, you have no idea.” 

You were pretty sure you had an idea. This was now week four without seeing him in person, and it was actually awful. You’d known it would suck, but you didn’t think it would hurt to be away from him. And you were doing everything you both could - facetime dates, phone calls, texting, he’d even written a letter to you. But there was just something about being in his arms, hearing his laugh without the distortion of a phone speaker, waking up next to him; it couldn’t be replaced. 

Which meant you needed to mention your plan. 

“I wanna come to jersey,” you started.

“You know I would kill to have you here baby, you know that.”

“Grayson, the lease is ending. I think that counts as a reason for emergency travel. I mean, I’m technically gonna be homeless,” you reminded him. “And I know I can stay with Shane, or with Jeffree.” They had been nice enough to offer. Hell, Jeffree was letting the boys store everything at his house, even the cars. “But I wanna be with you.” 

“I don’t want you on a plane. You could get sick.”

“I won’t fly. I’ll take the van. I mean, that’s why you built it, isn’t it?” 

“Y/N...”

“I know, it seems crazy. But if I split it up into three days, I could do it. I’d be careful at gas stations, pack up enough food to last me. You know I can drive for forever, I could probably pull 15 hours or so a day, that would get me back pretty quick, and I’d be safe.”

“Safe,” he breathed, shaking his head. “Y/N, I was sketched out sleeping in that thing with two other grown men with me. The thought of you sleeping in there, alone in some parking lot...” he trailed off. “No. It’s too risky.”

“Gray-”

“Baby I want you here more than anything. Not knowing when I’m gonna see you again is actually killing me, but I’m not putting you at risk over that.”

“Okay, well, let’s compromise then. What would make you feel safer about it?” 

“You not doing it,” he said bluntly.

“Be serious babe.”

“You sleeping alone out there. I know you’d be fine with the driving, but I’m not okay with you sleeping in the van by yourself.”

“Okay...” you paused for a minute, trying to think of a solution. “Okay, what if I drove at night, and then I slept during the day? Less people on the roads, and I think we’d both feel safer if I was sleeping during the daylight. Would that work?” 

“That’s better. I still don’t love it. I’m not trying to be difficult, I just, I don’t want anything to happen to you,” he mumbled, picking at the fabric on his blanket.

“I know that baby, to be honest the thought of sleeping in there alone scares me a little bit too. But I’m willing to do it if it means I get to see you.” 

Grayson was silent for a while. You knew he was fighting with himself, and that he probably felt selfish for even considering giving in. But you also knew, deep down, you were going to do it no matter how much he protested. So you were glad when he finally conceded with a simple “I love you”. 

Now, with the realization that you were going to see him in just a few days, your motivation was renewed ten fold, and you got to work.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

night one

You would have thought it wouldn’t be hard to get to sleep after the day you’d had. 

You were wrong.

The furniture had been moved out - Jeffree had been nice enough to hire a few movers to come get the furniture and the cars. Now, the house lay empty besides your bags that would go with you in the van, and you couldn’t wait to get on the road. Correction; you couldn’t wait to get to Grayson. The thought of seeing him again gave you butterflies. 

Once everything was done and final, you drug a few of the cushions out of the bed in the van, bringing them into the air conditioning so you could try to snag a few hours of sleep. 

While you managed to get a bit of rest, it was mostly futile. The quicker you got on the road, the quicker you’d get to jersey.

So with that, you packed up the van with all the food and snacks you had, reassembled the bed, tossed your bag in and climbed in the drivers seat.

I’m leaving, see you so soon!!!!!! you sent to Grayson, not being able to contain your excitement. 

4pm is not a night drive... he responded quickly.

shut up im excited BE EXCITED

you know i’m excited. be careful, I’ll call you in a little while x

With that, you drove out of the driveway for the last time, with New Jersey in the GPS. 

And the drive wasn’t as bad as you thought it would be. Grayson called you around 7pm to check on you and keep you company. You ate the sandwich you’d made as the sun set, and you continued down the road. It was peaceful if you were honest, and the van drove so nicely - Grayson really had done a good job. 

Although he tried to stay up, Grayson’s snoring took over around 11pm (2am jersey time you reminded yourself), so you hung up and starting blasting some of your favorite tunes to keep you alert and awake. Not having any traffic was a bonus, and you were amazed with the progress you were making. By the time the sun came up, you were already in Colorado. You resorted to driving until around ten, which landed you about at the border of Nebraska after a whopping 18 hours. You pulled into a non-sketchy looking parking lot, relieved that you’d found one.

I’m stopping to sleep for a few hours. I love you!

You sent it and started rummaging around in your bag, finding your toothbrush, toothpaste and pajamas. You brushed your teeth outside using your water bottle, changing in the car and cuddling up in bed. The bedding smelled a bit like the boys, which was comforting. Just as you started the settle down, your phone rang, Grayson’s contact photo popping up. You swiped over to open it, happy to see his face. 

“Hey baby, I was just about to get some sleep actually,” you said. And now that you had laid down, you realized how tired you truly were.

“I know. I’ll mute my side so I don’t keep you up, but I’ll be here in case you need me,” he said casually.

“Grayson you don’t have to-”

“I want to. It’ll make me feel better, knowing someone is watching out for you while you’re asleep.” 

It was so sweet that you started to tear up, so you just buried your face in the pillow instead.

“I love you.”

“I love you too baby, get some sleep.”

And you did.

-------------------------------------------------------------

night two

You woke up around five, fully refreshed - other than feeling like you needed a shower. You stretched out before getting up and heading to brush your teeth. When you got back in the van you got changed into some of the clothes you brought, happy to have on something fresh.

“That’s my hoodie.” The male voice startled you and you squealed, covering yourself.

“Baby it’s just me! It’s me!” It took you a minute to realize that it was Grayson speaking to you from your phone, which also was pointed where he could see you.

“Jesus, you scared the shit out of me!” You huffed, pulling the fabric over your head.

“Sorry, I was just enjoying the show,” he blushed, smirking at you a bit. You rolled your eyes, but giggled with him as you climbed into the drivers seat once again, pulling out the dinner you had packed, deciding to eat a bit before getting back on the road. 

“I can’t wait to see you,” Grayson sighed. You looked at your screen closely and realized he was in his workshop.

“I’ll be there so soon. Now, go build some stuff, I’m all safe and awake now. I love you,” you smiled, knowing he would never be the first to hang up. 

“Okay baby. Drive safe, call me if you get bored.” 

“I will, love you!” 

And so you took off, heading through Nebraska. The states seemed to be getting quicker now as you passed through Iowa, then Illinois, and even Indiana. Grayson called, and even Ethan kept you company for a few hours on the drive, making it go by fast. By the time you got to Ohio, the sun was high in the sky and you realized you actually weren’t that far from jersey. Only another seven hours, and if you kept driving, it would put you at their house around 7pm. You thought about the cold brew that you’d stashed in the fridge in case you’d struggled through the nights.

You could use it, and you could make it. In all honesty, you weren’t even that tired as the excitement started to mount. 

But you also knew that Grayson would rather you just sleep, and that he was going to call you again. So, you had to hatch a plan. 

You pulled into a nice looking parking lot, prepared to set it into motion.

You changed into your pajama shirt, taking your hair out of it’s bun so it looked like you were getting ready to go to bed. Taking a deep breath, you facetimed Gray.

“Is it bedtime?” was how he answered, making you laugh. He was in the kitchen at home, making lunch you were sure.

“Yeah, I made some good progress! I should be getting in around 8am or so tomorrow morning,” you explained, hoping he couldn’t see through you. 

“I can’t wait. I’m gonna pamper you so hard for all the work you did, that’s a promise.” 

Your heart fluttered at his words.

“I can’t wait. But I’ve got sad news.”

He perked up at that, putting down the spatula he was using.

“My phone is kinda low on battery, so I don’t think we can facetime tonight. I don’t want it to be dead in the morning, and I can’t run the van,” you sighed, faking sadness. 

“Are you in a safe area?” 

“Yeah, I feel totally safe here. See, look.” You turned the phone around, showing him the lot you were in. 

He wasn’t happy about it you could tell, but he trusted you. And thinking about how excited he would be made you feel less bad about your white lie. 

“Well, okay. Just text me when you wake up okay? I love you.”

“Love you more!”

“Doubtful. Get some rest,” he smiled, hanging up. 

“Ha!” you exclaimed to yourself, smiling and fist pumping the air. Wow. You really were going crazy after being alone so long. You climbed in the driver’s seat again, pulling the cold brew out of the fridge and popping it open as you started to drive again. 

At first you were so excited that it felt like time was flying, but by the last few hours it was dragging by. The sun set, and the kiss of dusk was hanging over the trees as you got closer and closer. 

But when the GPS changed from hours to minutes, and the roads changed from interstates to back roads, you were fully awake once again. You’d actually managed to pull off almost 24 hours of straight driving. When you pulled into the driveway, there was a gate and armed security - the same ones that the boys had hired in LA.

“Hey guys, I’m early, I’m here to surprise Gray,” you explained. They were sweet like usual and happily let you through, closing the gate behind you. With some renewed energy, you stopped the van and brushed your teeth again - in all honesty, you felt disgusting and couldn’t wait for a shower, but the coffee breath was a definite no go. If you were going to kiss Grayson for the first time in a freakin month, you didn’t want to be worried about anything. 

Once you were back in the drivers seat, it was time for a little fun. 

You pulled your phone out, facetiming Grayson and driving super slow. He picked up quickly, concern on his face.

“Is something wrong?” was the first thing he asked.

“No, i’m okay. I started driving again cause I couldn’t sleep, but now I’m lost. My GPS took me onto some long ass gravel road, and now I’m surrounded by trees and I have no clue where I am,” you ranted, using every ounce of acting ability you had to not tip him off. 

“Slow down, hey it’s alright. Why don’t you just turn around and go back the way you came, and then we can figure it out.”

“I don’t know, I think theres a building or something up ahead of me, maybe a store? I could ask somebody for directions?”

“I’d rather you just go back. I don’t trust some random store at the end of some sus ass road. Just turn around baby,” he pleaded, getting a bit panicked. Luckily, you knew it wouldn’t last long because you were already in front of the house. You cut the lights on the van.

“Here, you tell me if it’s sus. What do you think?” You flipped the camera around, showing him the house. 

“I mean - wait. WAIT. WHAT? WHAT!? NO FUCKIN WAY,” he yelled, obviously freaking out. You laughed, hanging up the call and waiting for the inevitable. Sure enough, you’d barely gotten the driver door open when Grayson came barreling out of the front door. 

You couldn’t contain your excitement as you unbuckled your seatbelt and started to climb down. Grayson beat you to it, coming to the opening of the door and reaching up to pull you out of the car. You were laughing as he grabbed you, wrapping you up in his arms. 

“No fuckin way, no fuckin way that you’re actually here right now! What the fuck!” 

“Surprise!” 

“Did you drive all night? Or all day? I just... WHAT!?” He was truly speechless and it was the most adorable thing in the world. He leaned back slightly so he could look at you, eyes wide with amazement.

“Maybe,” you grinned, shrugging. 

“God I love you. C’mere.” His hands slid down to your hips, then around to your ass and you knew exactly what he wanted. You jumped and he caught you as your legs went around his waist, and then his lips were on yours.

It was like the best first kiss you could possibly imagine. You’d thought about kissing him constantly while you were apart, but you were realizing that it had done this no justice. His lips were soft and warm against yours, the taste of him familiar and wonderful. Your hair started to move in the wind and you realized that he was spinning the two of you around, his boots crunching on the gravel beneath you. You could feel the smile on his face as you kissed him, never wanting it to end.

“Ewwwww,” was the only thing that could have brought you out of it, and sure enough, it did. Ethan was on the porch, leaning against the pillars. Despite his words, he was grinning from ear to ear. 

“Hey E,” you smiled, laughing a bit at how you must look right now, waving at him while Grayson was still holding you up. 

“Go say hi, I’ll get your stuff,” Grayson smiled, kissing your temple and putting you down. You turned and jogged towards Ethan, who gave you the biggest bear hug, even spinning you around a little bit.

“Missed you squirt,” he teased, swaying back and forth a bit.

“Missed you too,” you grinned, squeezing him tightly.

“Thanks again for uh saving all our possessions and moving all our shit.”

“You’re very welcome. And you also have a shoe problem, just so you know,” you teased.

“I do not!” He exclaimed, putting you in a bit of a head lock and rustling your hair. You pushed against him but it was futile, and you were stuck until Grayson came back and saved you.

“C’mon, let’s go say hi to mom and get you to a nice bed,” he smiled, putting an arm around your shoulders and leading you inside. You’d only been to the house in Jersey a few times, and it was under renovation, so the finished product was a very welcome sight. It was all light walls and tables with dark finishes, cozy yet bright at the same time, even at night. 

Lisa came around the corner, lighting up when she noticed you were there.

“Y/N! Grayson told me you weren’t gonna be here until tomorrow!” She gave him a bit of a scolding look, which made you laugh.

“That’s on me Li, I got a little too impatient and decide to drive on through,” you explained, accepting the hug she gave you.

“Well you must be exhausted, you go on upstairs and get some rest, we can catch up tomorrow,” she assured you, giving  you another squeeze before letting you go.

You didn’t even try for the boys bedroom - you knew that Grayson had been sleeping in the laundry room. So you headed in that direction, Gray in tow with your duffle bag in hand. As you saw the coziness of the bed, every last bit of energy you had drained from you. The crash was coming, and it was coming soon.

“You ready to sleep?”

“As tempting as that sounds, I really need to shower, I feel disgusting,” you mumbled. Just twenty minutes, and you would be able to sleep. You could do that, for sure. 

“Okay, here I’ll get you a towel and stuff, you remember where it is?” 

“Yep, I’ll be there in a second.” 

You rummaged through your bag, finding your toiletries and some clothes. But when you saw Grayson’s stack of shirts, you couldn’t help but snag one. Everything you’d had at the house had lost it’s scent, and you couldn’t help but breathe it in for a second before heading to the bathroom.

When you got there, Grayson was laying out two towels, and already had his shirt off. You stared for a moment, taking it all in, but even with the view your eyelids were heavy. You were fading, fast, and you had the sudden realization that if you all tried to have reunion sex later, you would probably be so exhausted you wouldn’t be able to enjoy it. And you really wanted to enjoy it. 

“Gray,” you said, walking over to him.

“Did you find everything you needed? I’m sure mom has some extra stuff if you need it.”

“No I’m good, I have everything. It’s just-” 

He looked up then, cocking an eyebrow. It took him a minute, but when it clicked you saw him smile softly, coming over to you.

“It’s not about that. I just wanna take care of you, that’s all. I figured you’d be too tired,” he explained.

“I’m sorry baby.”

He just kissed you, hands finding the hem of your shirt and pulling it over your head.

“No apologies necessary. C’mon, let’s get you clean.” 

You both stripped down the rest of the way and he turned on the shower, which was huge. The tile was white and marble like, and the water pressure made you feel like you were in a spa as you brought your toiletries in. Grayson washed his hair quickly while you let the water run over you, and when he was done you felt his hands find your shoulders, rubbing at the knots he found with his thumbs. You relaxed back into his touch, closing your eyes and resting your back on his chest. 

“Let me get your hair,” he said, reaching behind him to get the shampoo. You didn’t have a care in the world as he worked the suds through your scalp, making sure to get every bit of it before he started to rinse it out. By the time he made it to washing your body you were practically melted, so lost in the relaxation that you weren’t even sure it was real.

“You’re humming,” Grayson teased, pressing a kiss to your shoulder after you were rinsed off.

“Am I?” You mumbled, eyes still closed.

“Let’s get you dry before you pass out on me.” You could hear the smile in his voice as he helped you out of the shower, wrapping you up in a towel and kissing your nose. “You should let me do this more often.”

“What do you mean?” you asked, his statement waking you up a bit as you started drying yourself off.

“Well, you are miss independent you know. Miss ‘I can pack up an entire house with nobody’s help’ and ‘I can drive across the country solo, no big deal.’ I like when you let me take care of you sometimes,” he mused, rubbing his towel over his body and hair quickly before pulling on his boxers.

“Does that mean I get a free ride to bed?” You teased, keeping it light hearted even though you were melting at his words.

“Not dripping wet you don’t,” he smiled, taking your towel and running it over your hair, making you giggle. You were sure it looked something like Albert Einstein when he pulled the fabric away, but he kissed you anyways, passing you a shirt, shorts and your undies. You put them all on quickly, your limbs heavy with fatigue.

“Alright, off to bed.” With that, he scooped you up bridal style, carrying you out the door, down the hall and into the laundry room. He sat you down gently on your feet for a moment, pulling the covers back and climbing in, immediately opening his arms for you. 

“I know you’re not tired,” you mumbled, crawling into bed and immediately resting your cheek on his chest. You put one leg over his, wrapping your arms around his bare chest as he pulled you closer to him, burying his face in your hair.

“Doesn’t matter. Not a place in the world I would rather be. Now sleep so I can spoil you like I had planned to tomorrow.”

If you’d had any energy left you would have questioned him, but instead you lulled off to sleep in his arms, more content than you could remember being in a long, long time. 

[hinaaspanda]

A Sunshine Boy and His Princess in Her Tower

Paring: neighbor!Jeno x reader

Warnings: swearing

Genre: fluff, angst if you squint

Word Count: 6049

You thrived in your seclusion. Like a princess trapped in a ten story tower. Yet she wasn’t trapped, she was free. As for that overly loud, sunshine boy next door, well, it was a different story.

...

4:28 pm. It was well into the afternoon. The clouds gracefully covered those harsh sun rays like a thick picnic blanket as the red and white lights of the never ending cars glowed onto the city road. The sun was destined to retire, and yet, it was right at your doorstep, not even bothered to put down his last cardboard box down before greeting you. 

“Uhm… aha… hi!” He went on, his fingers, laced with nervousness, tapping away at the cardboard surface. You shifted your stance, a hand lightly gripping the door, keeping it open. If he was so nervous, why even bother with this greeting? Your eyes interrogated his unbalanced figure, watching him as he shifted around the box in his hand, awkwardly balancing it on his arm before going in for a handshake. You cringed, second-hand embarrassment shooting through you as you quietly refused, not just because you simply didn’t want to, but because with his lopsided posture, he would’ve been better off without it. 

Finally dropping his box down to his feet, the boy in front of you continued. “Ok uh… well my name’s Jeno. I guess we’ll be neighbors, huh? He scratched the nape of his neck as you, on the other side of the door frame, simply nodded. You thought your naturally frigid and cold demeanor, one in which you were known for, was more than enough to drive the embodiment of sunlight away from your presence, but he clearly had other plans.  

This sunshine boy went on and on, never noticing the unwanting expression clearly plastered onto your face. “I’ve noticed this floor’s pretty empty. Is it ‘cause it’s the top? Personally I don’t mind the long ride upwards, the view up here’s amazing! You can always get the perfect amount of sunlight in the morning! 

You huffed under your breath. And yet, there's too much sunlight in front of me right now. 

A soft clearing of your voice finally caught his attention, startling him like an innocent deer in headlights. “OH! Yea right! My bad, I kinda got a problem with goin’ on and on like that. Anyways, what’s your name?” 

It seemed harmless enough, not that anything right now could convince you that he was harmful, but this question did seem worthy enough of your time. You leaned against the wall beside you. “Y/N” 

“Y/N!” He cheerfully echoed back, earning a slight wince on your end. Did he know how to control his volume? “Y/n, y/n, y/n!” He sang softly bobbing head left and right as he bent down to pick up the just recently discarded box just in front of his feet. “Well, I’d love to stay and chat some more…”

Well I wouldn’t, but whatever. 

“...But I gotta start unpacking! Wouldn’t want this sunlight to run out on me! I’ll see you ‘round, y/n! He sang the last syllable of your name before heading into the door neighboring yours, and shutting it quietly. Seconds later, you shut yours, too, resuming your boring, boring business. 

Nice try, there’s no way sunlight would run out in that room. 

...

...Or so you thought. But just like any other recurring theme in those novels that always put you softly to sleep, those stories you would easily get lost in, this Jeno guy always managed to take you by surprise. Apparently, sunlight could run out in his room, but on one condition. It would run straight into yours.  

As it turns out, being two of the only residents on the top floor of your apartment complex, aside from the token ‘building creep’ two doors down and building electricians, leads to a very quiet life. A life that you, whether as a curse or a blessing, genuinely enjoyed. As your supposed peers living in lower floors began to compare you to the building creep on your common floor, you relished in the silence, the lack of human interaction. You thrived in your seclusion. Like a princess trapped in a ten story tower. Yet she wasn’t trapped, she was free.  

As for that overly loud, sunshine boy next door, well, it was a different story. 

“Y/N!” he knocked on your door the morning after, the nervousness that once lined the tips of his fingers being fully replaced with sheer excitement. You swear, the boom of his voice had surpassed any of your powerless alarms. Grudgingly, you slid out of bed, the sound of his not-so-quiet humming acting as a magnet, pulling your sleepy figure to the door, just waiting for you to scream at it in an annoyed response. 

But you couldn’t. With his cheeks raised up into a heavenly smile, and his eyes growing into crescents the moment he laid his eyes on you, you just couldn’t move. Your froze, A blinding, yet comforting light pierced through, whether it was from the lively aura radiating at your doorstep or the morning sunshine peeking from the floor’s few windows, you couldn’t tell. 

You prayed to god it was just the latter. 

Your heart wouldn’t be able to take it otherwise. 

“Do you wanna help me get coffee?”

...help him? A quizzed look grew on your face, as nervousness grew on his. 

“Well, I’m new to the city and, uh, I kinda don’t know my way around it, so I was hoping’ you could show me around? We’re neighbors, after all!” 

Frankly, if you couldn't tell by my uninteresting responses to your overtly simple questions, I’m the last person you would want to invite to anything, so no, I won’t-

The innocent sparkle dazzled in his eyes, the same way pain tugged at your heart. You couldn’t say no. You couldn’t turn Jeno down, You couldn’t disappoint this sunshine boy. Unconsciously, your lips slightly strung upwards, cocking your head to the right as you forced out a response, a response you knew you were bound to regret. 

 “Sure, just let me get changed.” The obviously fake tone in your voice was unnoticeable compared to the skyrocketing, joyful expression on his face as you uttered your answer. You turned around, shuffling far into your safe space. That would leave him alone, right? 

The door locked shut, steps begin inching towards you. 

No, he wouldn’t. 

He slips his shoes off and tosses them gently to the carpet behind him

Is he being serious? Who does this Jeno guy think he is? 

He plops down onto the couch, a couch almost always empty, with you never having guests over and all. 

He's definitely serious. 

“I’ll just wait here till you’re ready! He gushed, the couch he rested on taking him in perfectly with open arms. 

There went your safe space, ruined and disturbed, brutally disturbed. And the culprit? An innocent angel whose wings were crafted straight from the sun. 

...

“You don’t talk much, do you?” Jeno sipped his newly brewed coffee, quietly cursing at scorching liquid burning his lips. You sat parallel to him at the 7days Cafe, your hunched over figure using up all of your might trying not to laugh as he added another seemingly useless question to his “new neighbors questionnaire”. Gee, you don’t say, huh.

“What makes you say that?” you stirred your drink, gazing at each and every bubble popping away. Your eyes trailed up, watching the figure in front of you relish in the glowing evening sky. The various street lights accentuating his gentle features.  And if you were being completely honest, he was the reason you’ve hardly uttered a word the entire time you’ve been there. His skin, practically glowing before you. His hazel hair, falling just above his eyelashes. Eyelashes which could’ve cradled pleasant flower petals with that length. 

“C’mon now, don’t give me that,” exasperation filled his tone. “I wanna know why! I mean, you don’t go out much either, right? There’s gotta be a reason.”

Silence filled the empty space above your cafe table. You liked it, though. It hasn't been this quiet in a long time. You sigh, stirring your drink once more, you pitied the drink, it never got the chance to be properly enjoyed. 

“I dunno,” You began. A sudden rush of heat filled your cheeks, and you couldn’t find yourself to look back at him, even if he was staring at your enclosed figure with all the intent in the world. “I just never felt the need to? I guess.” You simply shrugged as Jeno began rocking back and forth on his chair. So childish. 

“Is that why you live on the top floor?” 

You grin under your breath. Maybe it was one of the reasons you barely conversed with the people in your class, the excuse for your desire to be alone, with only noise surrounding you were the quiet chirps ringing in the sky, as you lose yourself to your novel of the day. All of this, simply because you moved into the top floor of an apartment building. 

“Yeah, maybe it is.” 

God, how stupid do I sound right now? You winced, waiting for his response. 

Silence rushed in between the two of you once again, this time, it wasn’t what you had desired.

“That’s cute.” he broke the silence, bringing you back to the reality you so closely lost in that last second. You glanced up at him, eyebrows knitted together in confusion. Jeno simply smiled, taking your quizzed look as a sign to continue.  

“It's like those children’s fairy tales! Where the princess is locked up in a tower and, um, needs to be saved by the knight! Yeah something like that.” 

In an effort to speed up this ungodly awkward coffee run, you drink your now cold cup of coffee. “Princess?” 

Jeno springs up in his seat, creamer wrappers shivering in his presence. “Yeah! You’re like a princess trapped in a tower, err, I guess you’re not really trapped, cause you like bein’ there and all, but still!  

The only thing you could do was smile as he went on and on about this fairy tale alternate reality of our lives. He’s such a child. So cute. You sip onto your cold drink once more, shuddering at your own thoughts. Did I really just say that? 

Jeno stood up, enclosing the trash on his side of the table into his hand, and turned over to you before heading to the cafe trash can.  

“And I can be your knight and shining armor who’s always here when you need saving, and always prepared when you need to go out once in a while!” 

He turns back around and heads to the trash can, as you, the blushing mess you are, sighs under your breath. 

Well, you definitely shine bright, alright. 

...

Jeno stayed true to his word, of course escorting you out of your chamber of seclusion every chance he got. Whether it be through hasted coffee runs before your morning classes, or arcade expeditions on the weekends, you always found yourself tripping over your own two feet at the sway of his hand, awaiting his next adventure. It felt as if you were new in the city as he guided you around it, exploring all the sights and attractions your town had to offer. All these city-exclusive features you never bothered to glance at before, now finding themselves in your presence almost everyday. You didn’t know if it was because of your lack of knowledge of the outdoors, or simply who you saw every city splendor with, but you swear to god, they were beautiful. 

Whether to your dismay or utmost pleasure, however, you and Jeno grew connected at the hip, your different universities acting as nothing but a weak wall, waiting for it’s impending destruction as he decides to walk you home every night. 

“It’s the least I can do, this part of the city is dangerous at night after all.” he suddenly began, the pads of his thumbs clicking against the various knobs on the video game controller. The two of you were sat in front of your couch, stealing all the pillows and blankets from its possession, rendering it useless as you created a makeshift fort on the spot.  

“I don’t think I need protecting at night, Jeno.” you scowled, not bothering to look up from the book you could barely even focus on, due to the various screams and gunshots protruding from the screen. “You said it yourself, I’m a different kind of princess.” 

“Yeah, but, you’re still a princess,” he muttered, his words hardly reaching above the T.V. volume as another scream fell out of screen. “And a princess should always have their knight with them, right?” 

The room fell silent, Jeno’s eyes glued to the violent combat game, while yours stayed snug on the pages of your book. As another gunshot sounds off on the t.v, you both silently prayed that neither of you noticed each other’s cheeks as they grew more and more crimson.   

“So,” Jeno cleared his voice, eyes daring to glance at your figure, hunched over beside him like always. “Can I walk you home, Y/N?”

Your sigh was deeper than intended, and you couldn’t tell if it was in irritation or infatuation. “Of course.”

...

“Who knew the infamous apartment gremlin could ever step outside?” Renjun, your one campus friend, and employee at the 7days Cafe, swung his bag around his shoulders as you trotted out of class. The sunlight peeking through the emerald green leaves, and blinding you upon arrival; it all reminded you of him. That sunshine boy. 

As Renjun went on and on about how your only characteristic up till now was the fact that chocolate wrappers piled up your desk faster than any snow or leaf pile could, your mind began wandering. Visiting every arcade raid and coffee date that your mind stored with pure pleasure. Every time he waited at your doorstep every morning, and lingered around your campus after every class--sticking true to the promise he made just weeks before--all of it. Like a warm cup of tea, it felt snug, just right. A smile swiped across your lips subconsciously as Renjun’s eyebrows cocked upwards, an all too knowing smirk swiping across his. 

“But seriously, though, who was that guy you were with? A blind date? I don’t remember setting you up with anyone, though?” He inquired, recalling all the suspicious you-related sightings he saw that day.

“I can easily get a date by myself, thank you very much.”

“Are you hearing yourself right now?”

A giggle escapes your breath as Renjun pierces you with that intense stare once again, wanting, no, needing answers right this second. You sigh that same sigh, the one either filled with aggravation or adoration.

“It’s Jeno, he’s my new neighbor.” You continued. “He probably only started hanging out with me cause I’m practically the only one that lives on my floor besides him.” 

Only your best, and basically only friend could fish out the disappointment seeping through your voice, and Renjun did--effortlessly--as he gasped in the name of over-exaggeration. 

“Y/N, are you getting flustered?” he hunted, his words acting like a call for the red glow growing on your cheeks. His howling at the sight could’ve been heard miles away. 

“Shut up, Renjun.”

That same smirk grew 10x more sly, eyeing a sight far ahead of you. “Yeah you’re right, I should shut up, cause I’m definitely not drawing in more attention than your little coffee date over there.” Your head whipped up in response, the sight in front of you rendering you frozen, just waiting for his natural sun rays to melt your ice-cold stance. 

“Y/N! HEY!” his yelling, along with the attention of others shuffling around the campus, captured the attention of your heart. Jeno jogs up towards you, his backpack swishing left and right as Renjun slowly shuffles away, sending you a devious wink and an all knowing smirk before heading off his own way. 

 “Arcade?” Jeno exhaled, pleading for his breath to catch up to him. He glances up, eyes forming into those ethereal crescents as his lips perk up into a smile. You don’t even need to ask, dummy.

...

The trees shivered through the evening breeze as you and Jeno cloud the empty air with sounds of your soft steps. A pebble jolts under your feet as the two of you reside in reluctant silence, the only sound present being the irritable car engines swiftly passing by. The air in between you two grew tense--not that it wasn’t already tense the moment Renjun escorted himself out of the equation. This regular sunshine boy had stayed a little cloudy--too cloudy for your liking--  for a couple of days now. Gone were the days of constant rambling over pure nonsense, nonsense that made your heart burst into a thousand tiny pieces. In the past few days, he’s been silent, more than you thought he was capable of being. And you would rather die than admit it to him, but you missed it. You missed him. 

You couldn’t tell why he would miraculously grow mute around you, and only you, either. Were you too boring for him? Too unresponsive and detached for his liking? You always feared the day where he’d leave your desperate grasp for something newer, more alive, simply better. Yet you weren’t so much as worried for him, but rather for yourself. Could you handle it? Living in darkness for the rest of your life, the sun reluctant to shine around you? With no knight and shining armor to rescue with open arms? 

Your sulking figure props itself up as you saunter through the arcade doors. The arcade was a 20 minute walk from your campus. You shudder in response. How long was I stuck in my head like that? 

Like the child he is, Jeno happily trotts towards the various classic and retro games sprinkled around the coin-op. It was his favorite attraction of the city so far, easily trumping every cafe or stationary gym, and especially his “hell hole of a school” as he puts it. You grimace at the very fact that stayed in your mind, and head over to this arcade's only claw machine. 

Saying it was small would be a clear understatement, Yet it’s petite figure, coupled with its pastel pink exterior, provided a calmer, softer glow, compared to the chaos of the neon, flashing lights and rapid, unwinding gaming tickets that surrounded it. You studied the new additions of diverse toys that laid trapped within the transparent glass prison. Inside, a baby panda, a guinea pig, and a cute bunny all try to sway your hand into buying them, but only one contender out of the box of plushies catch your eye. A tiger, seated four or five plushies away from a tiny shark, entrances you with its sweet appeal, a rose-coloured ribbon laced around its neck, sealing the deal. You dig around your practically empty pockets, no quarters available in your grasp. As a defeated sigh escapes your lips, Jeno appears beside you, head cocked to the side as he examines the various toys for himself. 

  “These are cute,” he shoved his hands in his pockets, as if he was hiding behind some nonchalant facade you never knew about. He takes notice of the way your eyes sparkle as you stare at the tiger plushie. “Are you gonna play?”

“I can’t,” You held your head down in despair, fingers twiddling and picking at each other in utter embarrassment. “I don’t have any coins.” 

Jeno cleared his voice, scratching the nape of his neck with fingers lined with stress as he glances at you, flustered and embarrassed. Even if it was just cause of something as small as the toy tiger, you were still cute.

 And your endearing expression gave the most perfect idea. 

Jeno grumbled in annoyance. “I ran out, too, should we head home?” 

You shoot him a smile. “Sure.”

The two of you head out the door, Jeno grasping the handful of coins trapped in his pant pocket.

The afternoon sun swiftly melted into an evening night sky as you watch the white, little lights fully paint the exterior of your apartment building. The breeze grew harsher, and all you wanted right now was to be trapped in the walls of your tower once again. The silence that suffocated the two of you finally collapsed as Jeno cleared his throat. 

“Um, Y/N?” 

You turned your head “ Hm?”

“I won’t be able to walk you home tomorrow.” 

You would never admit it to his face, but your heart died a little that day. 

Curse you and your abeyant, pushover of a heart.  

“Oh, uh, ok.” 

...

The next day seemed more unappealing than most. You constantly found yourself moping around your apartment floor, disregarding school work you couldn’t care less about before. 

What broke your heart the night before, stepping into the broad doors of your supposed tower, wasn’t just the fact that he decided to leave your life right then and there, but because of how weak he's made your life into. You didn’t need him. You didn’t need human interaction in your life, the life you built solely on seclusion and the art of never leaving the comfort of your own home. You could always go back to the ways things were, burying your face into the words of your next novel, enjoying freshly brewed coffee with the coffee machine Renjun gave you, knowing very well he wasn’t going to see you for another month after that. You could always go back. You didn’t need Jeno. 

Right?

You shuffled towards your kitchen counter, the thought of that freshly brewed coffee making you salivate. 

You stop in your tracks. 

The jingle of house keys rattle through your door.   

He was home. 

You take a step forward, cursing at yourself in the process. But just like your first interaction, he acted like a magnet, pulling you towards him against every fiber of your being. Your hand gravitates towards the doorknob, but you decide against turning it when you hear a voice ringing from the outside. 

“I know, I know, leaving her to walk home alone was dumb but--hey! I still listen to your advice! I’ve been walking her home everyday before this!”

Jeno grows silent, and you grow confused. So walking me home was this guy’s idea?

“I just dunno what to do, Jaemin”  A thud hits your side of the apartment wall, along with the rattles of a… paper bag? “I just freeze up whenever I see her, my own neighbor, how pathetic am I?”

...neighbor? 

The silence resumes.

It stops.

“Yes! I won her a tiger plushie to cheer her up, what's so bad about it?” He sounded so defensive. It was cute. 

“But, Jaemin, seriously…”

Silence.

“...I might be in love, man.” 

The coffee pot almost collapsed in your hand right that second. It should’ve, at least, since your once proud, independent figure most definitely did. You rushed to your couch, the couch that held everyone of your favorite memory with him. Burying your face into the unwrinkled pillow, you don’t hesitate to perk your ears up when you notice that the ethereal conversation taking place just outside your door, wasn’t over just yet. 

Jeno giggles, each chuckle sends butterflies to your heart. “Yeah, Jaemin. I’m in love with Y/N. You gotta come visit, you’re in town, right?” 

...

“How many times do I have to tell you!? Flavouring first, AND THEN the milk!” Renjun grumbled, massaging his temples as he lectured the taller, two-toned hair, amateur barista, all while another younger looking boy with black hair and in a matching apron, howls loudly at the sight behind the 7days Cafe counter.  

You sat just parallel to the commotion, a warm cup of coffee enclosed between your two palms. Seconds after you heard Jeno’s apartment door close, you fled. Panic, excitement, and the thirst for what you hope was just a drink, riling up within you. You didn’t know who else to tell, who else to unload all these feelings to. Your mind went blank, more bare than the ivory walls that coated the interior of this very cafe. Renjun, however, took it surprisingly lightly. But you kind of understood, he had other things to worry about. 

“Chenle! Quit filming Jisung fuck up his latte! You can't even have your phone back here! Remember what happened last time?”

You wondered what this Chenle kid did to get Renjun so pissed like that as this supposed Jisung guy laughs back and his fellow amateur barista. 

An aggravated Renjun plops down on a stool on the other side of the counter, facing you as he wipes his hands on the towel placed on his shoulders.

“Damn high schoolers, such a pain.” he shudders, his voice low, but just enough to tick off his café students. “Anyways, about this Jeno thing,” You lean in closer, your coffee mug almost tipping over as you wait in anticipation.

“I fucking called that shit.” Renjun’s deadpanned expression causing you to lose 10 years of your life. “It was so obvious.”

“Obvious? How?” you scowled 

“Don’t worry, though. It's only obvious to people with basic social skills, so you’re off the hook.” he shoots you a sinister smile, as you shoot back with an overly offended glare. 

“Renjun, seriously.” you pleaded, catching the attention of the two other highschoolers behind the counter. “Well,” he continued, “No guy I know would want to walk a girl home EVERY DAY just for kicks. 99% of the time, they’re a simp for the chick.” You twiddle with your fingers, slightly disappointed in the fact that you never picked that up, despite your esteemed sharpness. 

“Not to mention how ecstatic he looked, like, every time you breathed near him.” 

“Ok but you’re not around us most of the time he breathes near me.” 

“Sweetie, I don’t have to be around you two all the time to know that’s exactly what happens.”

You grumble under your breath, not wanting to spare a glance at your supposed best friend, outsmarting every single thought that grazed your mind. 

“So, what do I do?” 

“Well, you like him back, right?” Slowly, you nod. Despite being the crux of problem presented, you were probably the most surprised out of the group.  

“Well then, go fucking tell him! Go!” he vigorously gestures towards the door, the liquid in your untouched mug swishing around, shaking in fear. 

You don’t take a second guess as you burst through the door, leaving a tired and sighing Renjun behind. 

“Hey, boss.” Chenle leaned against the counter as Renjun stood back up to continue his work. “Who does your friend like?” 

“None of your business, Chenle, now get to work!” Renjun snapped back, earning the shudders of both--now terrified--high schoolers. 

The chime on Café door sounds, and steps click towards the counter. Subconsciously, Renjun greets with the brand-wide slogan, followed by an unappealing “How may I help you today?” 

The figure in front of him, unfazed, continues the untasteful conversation. 

“Hey, the name’s Jaemin. Is there a guy named Jeno around here? I’m supposed to meet him.”

The towel once snug tight in Renjun’s hand, gracefully hits the floor. “Oh.”

...

You scramble to the tips of your feet seconds after the glass doors spread open. A tiny ding! chimes your way as you scampered inside, ignoring every uneven tile, medium sized pebble, and the devious tricks of your own untied shoelaces that bare a threat to your one chance to set things right. To finally let the sun shine around you once again. 

Reaching the elevators, you stop to catch your vanishing breath, all of your might used in stopping your exhales slowly slip away. You greet your--mostly unpleasing--reflection as you face the opening metallic doors, the whites of your eyes swelling as they meet up with dozens of other deadpanned expressions. 10 people, all enclosed in the walls of the vertical-travelling cart, limbs and torsos all clustered together at uncomfortably short distance. And despite the silence, not one set of eyes didn’t scream “Don’t you dare get in here.” right at your face. Of course, you huffed as you rushed towards the back of the apartment foyer. 

A door, hidden from plain sight, waits from your now exhausted figure, the word “Stairs” mocking you, plunging you straight into misery. Another huff blows out of your lips. You loved your apartment, but right now, it was being nothing but a total pain. God, ok. Here we go.

10 flights of stairs later, and you're nothing but a heaving, tired mess. Various hair strands string onto the sides of your face, while the sweat first formed on the 4th flight finally dried cold onto your lower back. You looked unhinged, psycho, and straight up not having a good time. But just like every time before, your sunshine boy can brighten up anyone’s day. 

 “Y/N?” A voice questioned, the vermilion and silver paper bag dropping to the ground in the name surprise. 

Fuck fuck fuck fuck. You clearly didn’t think this through. What is wrong with you, trying to confess to the guy you like while looking like an actual goblin. Why in the world would you listen to Renjun, half of the words that come out of his mouth are sarcastic?! You wince at his impending reaction, only sparing him a few glances every so often as the two of you stood frozen, trapped in each other’s presence.   

“Um, er--hi.” he stepped towards you and your gaping figure. A stride so light, one that could balance on feathers. Disregarding the paper bag from before, a hand dips inside, the bag rustling around as he pulls out… a toy? Not just a toy, but a plushie. That same tiger plushie that caught your eye that day, entrancing you with its rose-tinted ribbon. The same plushie you locked eyes with on the day your heart died, just by a little bit. 

Jeno stops in his tracks, scanning you. “Wait, why are you--did you take the stairs here?” 

You could only vigorously exhale, but you still forced out a response. “Ran. 10 flights.” he returns with a smile, a grin brighter than afternoon sun casting behind them. 

“I guess I’ll take over from here.” 

Jeno takes one last step forward, eyes, locked together in a trance. Faces just centimetres apart, nothing but the brisk indoor air roaming between you. Jeno glances down, his cheeks flushed a golden vermilion as he twiddles with the tiger paws held tightly in his tense fingertips. Your cheeks can’t help but fall into a deep crimson right after his, fidgeting with the ending fabric of your hoodie. The cool air that froze the sweat cascading down you back finally disappeared, leaving behind the warm, sensual, tingling feeling coming from your intertwined breaths. 

“Sorry,” he began. His eye contact encapsulating you, no matter how nervous it seems.  “Sorry for leaving you to walk home alone, I, er--I was being dumb. Really dumb.” He glances to the floor, breath shaking, with just an ounce of firmness. 

And exhale escapes his throat. “The truth is, well, I just get all shaky around you. I become flustered, I freeze, basically. And I thought that leaving you alone for a little while, shying away from you for a little bit, would clear my mind, would benefit me in any way. But I was wrong. So, so wrong.” Jeno grabs your hand, enclosing it around the soft, forged, fur of the tiger plushie.

“I knew I was right from the beginning, ever since I first dropped my last cardboard box to my feet in a desperate effort to greet you. I knew I always wanted to be around you, be with you. That’s why I walked you home every night, took you out for coffee every chance I took. I didn’t know what came over me, but I needed to stay with you. You’re my life source, ever since I moved into the secluded apartment complex. And now…”His eyes grew glossy as he shot you that crescent eye smile you fell in love with so easily. 

“I’m running out of excuses to be next to you, Y/N.”

A tug at your heart led it to the brink of destruction as your hands guided themselves to each side of Jeno’s face.  

“Can’t we just be together, now?”

Strangely enough the interaction brought memories to your mind more than anything. The way he’d go on and on about useless facts and unwanted knowledge, a trail of never ending words hurling at your direction. The way you’d sit in silence, admiring him, whether it be through how much he could say in one breath, or simply how he glowed underneath a simple streetlight.

You couldn’t pinpoint exactly when the tears flooded your vision, but you could tell something was wrong when you saw Jeno’s panicked expression. 

“Oh shit, wait, did I say something wrong--fuck, ok, um--please don’t cry, Y/N, I’m sor-”

You truly loved this boy, but he really needed to learn how to shut up. 

With your palms promptly placed onto Jeno’s cheeks, you pull him in, lips melting into each other with pure delight. Entranced, your two bodies fell closer, his hands clasped around each of your arms. The tiger plush danged from his fingers while yours roamed down to the collar of his salmon shirt, pulling it snug against you. 

Like contradicting magnets, the force needed to pull your love struck figures was vigorous. The need to breathe only slipped back into your mind once  you both gasped for air. The hands that once held your frame extended towards you, holding nothing but a soft tiger plushie, with a little pink ribbon to finish it off. You accept the toy with a smile, a smile--in Jeno’s opinion--shined brighter than any sunray or streetlight could. 

“I’d like that, being together and stuff.”

...

 The chime hooked onto the door of the 7days Cafe was fairly quiet on a regular day, but to the nervous, overly strained, “on the brink of ripping his hair out” Renjun, it was as loud as a fire alarm sounding off right next to him. Yet, he wasn’t the only tensed boy you noticed as you stepped into the beige coloured room, hand gripping onto the hand of your sunshine boy.  You simply put it off as another customer caught in the middle of his own rainstorm, but alas, you were wrong again when you watched Jeno’s eyes widen. 

“Jaemin! You made it!” 

The boy with cobalt hair in front of you uttered a clearly distressed grumble, crossing his arms as he didn’t even spare you a glance.

“Dude, what happened to meeting up at the cafe?”

“I guess I got distracted.” Jeno shoots you a reassuring smile, his hand gently dropping yours. 

A calmed expression washes over the boy in front of you as he finally decides to acknowledge your insignificant existence. “I’m Jaemin, but I guess you already know that” tilting his head in a friendly demeanor, he offers you his hand. 

“I’m Y/N, but I guess you already know that, too” 

As your greetings pass and the awkward silence fills the air, you watch an excited Jeno practically hurl over his own friend before heading over to sit with your own, and two highschool baristas. 

“Boss freaked when that Jaemin guy first got here, he thought Jeno actually had other plans, ruining your chance to confess.” His own hands shadowed over Renjun’s tired figure as a worried Jisung rapidly hit Chenle’s arm, telling him to just shut up. You didn’t care for all that commotion, you were too busy from the shock of Renjun actually being worried for you. 

“Whatever,” Renjun snapped up. “What matters is that you guys got together, right?” 

You glanced back at your sunshine boy, your Jeno, as his hair gets aggressively ruffled. 

“Yeah, the sun’s never shined brighter.”    

[darksunrising]

Sola Gratia (14/?)

Masterlist

Rating / Warnings : No particular warning.

Fandom : Bram Stoker’s Dracula, BBC’s Dracula, various Dracula and vampire lore.

Part 14/? (2638 words)

Author’s notes : I’m back, babey ! Anyway, here is the Second Act Opening (yeah, changed the Act stuff, i am unreliable at best.)

~ - ~ - ~ - ~ - ~ - ~ - ~ - ~ - ~ - ~ - ~ - ~

The ride to Vlad's estate was eerily silent. Nestled on the backseat, hugging my knees to my chest, I tried to find some comfort in the pale light of the moon, bathing the countryside in a silver haze. I felt like I was wrapped in cotton, sounds coming off muffled to my ears, filled with the low humming of the car. Vlad and Carmilla were whispering to each other, and beside me, Leah seemed completely lost in thought. She had a lot to process, after all. Maybe I should have told her sooner...

To the valleys succeeded an endless plain, covered in fields and woods, and the occasional farm. Not that far over the horizon, I could barely make out the dark, shimmering line of the sea. It grew as we left the main road, following a smaller one, that soon converted to a paved path, barely large enough to let the car pass. We crossed a large iron gate, opening a mossy stone wall. The inside was wild, the wind sweeping across tall grass, overrun by wild flowers and poppies. Tall umbrella pines cast a moving shadow under the full moon. At the end of the path stood a large house, practically a mansion. The walls were white, large limestone blocks neatly laid out at the corners, while the most part were rough stones, held together with a thick layer of white mortar. A large portion of the wall was overrun with ivy.

The car stopped. I unfolded myself and tried to get out once before I remembered to take off my seatbelt, then trying to adjust my bodice to accommodate the now half open corset. Gods, my kingdom for a change of clothes. A quick look beyond the house confirmed that It was built over a cliff, the sound of the waves crashing down below soothing me like a lullaby. Leah's arm curling around mine quickly set me back into the present situation, and I took hold of her hand, hoping to be reassuring. We followed Vlad through the main door, which he closed behind us.

A good number of cardboard and wooden boxes piled up in the hall, unopened. Vlad apologized for the mess, arguing he didn't expect company so soon after moving. Still, everything except for the main hall was pristine, the furniture very well assorted, much more than in his Romanian residence. I figured he must have picked everything himself, as it all seemed in good accord with his usual sense of style. In the living room, I went to the windows, which opened on a large terrace, directly giving out onto the sea. Vlad's voice, softly calling out to me, had me turn back, and sit with them around the coffee table.

Leah was nervously fidgeting with one of the ribbons of her dress. Where should we even start ? I was obviously not the only one wondering about that, as the silence had now been so long it was far over the limits of awkwardness.

“So, who's gonna tell me what the fuck is going on ?”, Leah finally blurted out.

“It's... a long story”, I started, hesitant.

“Long as in 'it started during my mystery trip to Romania I was suspiciously evasive about'—long ?”, she retorted in an accusatory tone.

“Yeah. At least that.”

She leaned back into her seat, staring at me. She didn't even look mad, she just looked disappointed, which was worse. Since we met, I never hid anything from her. I could say safely that she knew more about me that I did, and I never had felt the need to not tell her something. These last months, not talking to her had been a torture. She had been my absolute best friend for years, I hated lying to her. I hated it.

And so I told her. About everything. From the beginning. Vlad had a few protests during my recalling of the Romania Events, and Carmilla looked pretty entertained by it. I could swear I heard her laugh when I told how I stabbed Vlad in the end. Leah listened intently, not once looking away from me. When I stopped, she seemed to take a moment, and looked around the room. Calmly, without a word, she stood up, and took a step toward Vlad's seat. She extended a hand, and swiftly reached for his sword, that he had set aside before sitting. Unsheathing it in an ample, yet controlled movement, she brought the tip under Vlad's throat so fast even he didn't have time to react. Surprise probably helped on that endeavor, still she had him tilt his head up, flat of the blade pushing under his chin.

Her expression was terrible, calm, controlled, yet I had never seen her eyes so dark, her lips pinched so tight. Vlad didn't move.

“You... Have hurt the one I love most, beyond all that I could imagine”, she stated, her voice trembling with anger. “You have made her suffer, and now, you tell me she could be in even greater danger because of your fucking dad or some bullshit ?!”

Her hand was steady, yet I could feel like the only reason she didn't ram the blade through his throat was because she knew it wouldn't do much of anything. I stepped closer to her, and wrapped my hand around hers. She held the grip so tight her knuckles were bone-white. I had her lower the sword, which she immediately dropped, and turned to look at me, eyes watering up.

“I-I'm so sorry, Eris, if I had known... I would never... Fuck, he could've... He could've...”

She held my hands enclosed in hers, and lost her words into incoherent sobbing for a second. Bringing my hands to her face, she closed her eyes, took a deep breath, and took a moment to calm herself down. Still holding my hand, she turned her attention back to Vlad.

“I was too quick to give you my trust. That won't happen twice”, she told him, glaring. “You put us into this mess, and you'd better handle it.”

“I intend to !”

“I'm not finished”, she snapped. “If anything, I mean anything happens to Eris, I will hold you personally responsible, and I'll have your dismembered limbs impaled in my backyard.”

Carmilla giggled, to which Leah snapped and promised her the same fate.

“Now, you're gonna drive us home, and I don't wanna see either of your faces again, at least not until you handled the problem.”

“You can't be serious, you'll be safer here-”, Vlad started.

“Safer ? With you ?” She had a dry laugh. “Well, isn't that the funniest thing you've ever said.”

“At least, stay the night”, he insisted, looking over to me for backup. “I will drive you back as soon as you'd like in the morning.”

She was about to protest, and I caught her arm, interrupting her. “Leah, it's late, we're both tired. Let's just go to sleep, right ?”

She took a second, and gave in, nodding. She insisted we slept together, even though the house had a good number of guest rooms, which was, in retrospect, pretty funny for someone who didn't need sleep. He guided us to the room he had prepared for me, initially. It had to be about half my apartment's size, and included a tower at the corner. Huge bay windows gave onto a balcony giving out a magnificent view over the sea.

Vlad cleared his throat. “You will find a change of clothes in the wardrobe.” Leah gave him another killer look, arms crossed over her chest. He took his leave, but not before placing a light hand on my back.

If you can slip away, I would like to talk to you.

Ah, the most terrifying thing to hear. Despite that, the way his voice filled my mind was warm, and comforting. I silently nodded, and he took his leave, his fingers trailing along my back, almost as if he resented to break contact. As soon as the door closed, Leah had a long sigh, and dropped on the bed.

“I can't believe you kept this to yourself so long”, she told me. She sounded almost hurt. “I mean, why didn't you tell me anything ?”

I joined her on the opposite side, my head laying next to her. “I didn't know how to. I felt you'd be safer if you didn't know.”

“But you weren't !”, she protested. “You could have been hurt, again, all because I had no idea what kind of monster-”

“He's not a monster”, I cut her off, almost without thinking about it.

She took a pause, turning her face towards mine, an expression of disbelief painted over her features, eyebrows furrowed in a way that didn't suit her kind face.

“Eris, please don't tell me you believe that !”

“I do. I'll give you that the conditions of our meeting were, well, less than ideal, but ever since he came here, he did nothing but try to make amends.” She groaned. “Come on”, I insisted. “You've seen it, he's been nothing but kind, and thoughtful, and actually a great help for my thesis.”

“He also eats people, Eris”, she remarked.

“He told me he didn't kill anyone since he got here, and I believe him.”

“Because he actually is trustworthy, or just because you want to believe him?”

By all means, she wasn't wrong. I mean none of her worries were anything I hadn't thought of myself. I sat up, and started un-lacing my bodice.

“You don't know him like I do”, I told her, softly, knowing this wouldn't do anything to convince her. “Let's just go to sleep, for now, I'm exhausted.”

She reluctantly agreed, and we disrobed, significantly faster than we dressed up. I though my corset would be ruined, but only the lacing on the back was cleanly cut, without even a dent in the ivory silk. In the wardrobe, I was almost surprised to find modern clothing. For the most part, he had my sense of style pretty well figured-out. Not finding any underwear was disappointing, as I had followed Leah's advice on not wearing a bra underneath the corset, but also a bit reassuring, to be honest. Leah opted for a simple plaid shirt, that would have been a bit large on me, and therefore fell almost to her knees. I found an oversize black pajama ensemble, made of the softest wooly cotton. I joined Leah under the covers, and didn't have to wait long until she dozed off, her breathing becoming more regular, and calm.

I carefully removed myself from the bed, and slipped into a large dressing gown. I slowly opened the door, trying not to make the floorboards or the hinges creak. I only opened it enough to shuffle through, and exited into the corridor.

The silence was only disturbed by the muffled sound of the waves, and my own breathing. I didn't turn on any lights, as the full moon was well enough to see perfectly well. I wandered back to the living room, and walked to the bay windows. One was open, leaving a cool breeze inside. Wrapping myself tighter in my robe, I stepped outside, wincing at the feeling of cold stone under my feet. Over at the corner of the terrace, Vlad was leaning onto the balustrade, his hair disheveled by the soft wind. He also had a change of clothes, and had only kept his trousers, his shirt, and his cape, thrown over his shoulders. I suspected this was mostly a question of style, as I doubted he could even feel the cold. His gaze seemed lost over the horizon, watching the moon go down on the ocean. As I approached him, he turned his attention to me, smiling.

“I knew you were good at sneaking around.”

“Please, I bet you could hear me breathing from the other side of the house.”

“Breathing, not so much, but I can hear your heart.” He was leaning on his elbow, head cocked to the side. Arrogant. I sighed, and took in the mesmerizing view a moment. No signs of cars, lamps, or electric poles in sight. Only the moon, and the ocean's soothing voices.

“Do you like the house ?”, he asked, softly as not to disturb my reverie.

“I love it.”

He laughed at the speed of my reply. “Well, I hoped you would.” He took a pause. “I am sorry about Leah, however. I know you did not want her dragged into all of this, and because of my blindness, she has-”

Before he could finish, I set the tips of my fingers on his mouth, effectively closing it.

“If anything, it's my fault. I should have told her a while ago, I just never had the courage to do it...”

He took my hand in his, strangely warm, contrary to what I expected. I felt my heart sink into my chest as a question rose to my  mind.

“Vlad, I...”, I started, hesitant. He nodded slightly, encouraging me to continue. “What Carmilla said, back on the overlook...”

I became physically incapable of saying one more word, my heart beating out of my chest for no reason. No reason at all.

“You want to know if she was right ?”

Gods, that voice, that deep, silky voice. Maybe it was on purpose that he talked in a hushed tones, maybe to drive me mad, or not outshine the ocean singing below. I nodded, unable to look him in the eyes. He called out my name, barely a whisper. He let go of my hand, only to pull me closer, an arm around my waist, his other hand cupping my cheek. So warm... He took a moment, playing with a strand of my hair, sliding a finger along my jawline, and slowly running his hand along my neck. I couldn't help a gasp as a sharp nail traced over my veins. He hummed, seemingly amused with my reaction.

“Are you still scared of me ?”, he asked.

I couldn't tell if he really spoke, or if I heard him in my mind.

“No”, I breathed out.

Really ?

His lips brushed past mine, then on my jawline, and my neck. In a very poor instinct, I let my head fall back. The somewhat familiar feeling of his sharp teeth on my skin sent shivers down my spine. I closed my eyes.

“I trust you”, I whispered, leaning back onto the balustrade.

He opened his mouth, letting me feel his hot breath on my cold neck. For a second, his fangs pressed against my skin, soon replaced by a kiss, on the crook of my jaw, right below the ear. I giggled, and he closed his arms around my waist. Expectantly, he seemed to wait, for permission. For mercy.

I wasn't too long to grant it. Wrapping my hands around his neck, I closed the final space between us. As soon as my lips touched his, my heart stopped a moment, or several. I felt him sigh a second, and pull me closer. He was slow, intimate, perfect in every way. I felt electricity run through my body. His lips parted mine, and-

Everything was red.

The sea lapping at my ankles, the sky bursting with gold and blood under a starry indigo. Everything was the same as I last left. I turned around, and found him standing back.

“Here ?”

“I told you before, wherever you want to be.”

I ran to him, and threw my hands around his neck, and he wrapped his around me, lifting me off the ground.

“Makes sense it's with you, then”, I whispered, and kissed him again.

~ - ~ - ~ - ~ - ~ - ~ - ~ - ~ - ~ - ~ - ~ - ~

Taglist : @carydorse @angelicdestieldemon @bloodhon3yx @thewondernanazombie @battocar @moony691 @mjlock @thebeautyofdisorder @festering-queen @paracosmfantasy @lost-girl-inc

[lesbianmonsterlover]

Female Werewolf x Female Reader (part 1)(SFW)

Hey, so, basically this was in my head and I had it get it out.  When I made it to page six with no end in sight, but at a good stopping point for now, I wanted to get out a post.  So I guess this is going to be a two-parter!

---

Your walk home from work always consisted of a trek through a dark alley between the back of two restaurants.  Most people were scared of the thought of walking down such a street at that hour of the night, but you knew that the presence of security cameras behind the two establishments meant that no one was dumb enough to stake out there in hopes of catching someone unawares.  You so rarely encountered anyone or anything else in that stretch of your walk - save for the occasional worker coming out the backdoor of their place of work with the trash - that when you began seeing the same battered looking dog regarding you warily night after night you started bringing it treats.  

The first time you stopped it was because you were carrying home some leftovers from a work lunch, your team had gone to a steakhouse and you couldn’t finish your strip steak, so you took it home to maybe have for dinner or over a salad for lunch tomorrow.  The thought went through your mind, though, as you approached the alley to maybe offer the meat to the sweet, sad looking pup.  Well, pup was probably the wrong term, but aren’t all dogs puppies really?  The creature was huge, you’d have guessed nearly waist height while standing on all fours, and a pure midnight black with one startlingly clear crystal blue eye.  They’d always eye you warily as you walked through the alley, although they never once raised a hackle or a growl your way even when you’d coo hello on your way past.

Before you can stop yourself you pull the little cardboard takeout box of steak out of your bag and pop open the lid, revealing half of a steak sliced into strips laid out along with some of those roasted potatoes.  You double checked to make sure nothing had any garlic (bad for a pupper’s stomach) and after being sure this was all safe for the big dog you walked into the alley intent on offering it to them.  

The huge canine was curled up in a ball where they usually were, deep in the shadows of a little alcove set into the building where their fire hookup was.  “Hey gorgeous.”  You croon down at the dog, but instead of continuing your walk, for the first time ever you squat lightly in front of the big creature and give it a tentative, closed mouth smile.  “My eyes were bigger than my stomach at lunch I guess, and I think you’d enjoy this more than I would tonight.”  You set the cardboard takeout box down, open, on the ground and shuffle it towards the dog, who meanwhile had perked up and began regarding you with a sort of aloof wariness.  You just sit there, looking happily and quietly at the dog as it sniffed first at the cardboard box and then at its contents before picking up a piece of steak and snapping it into their mouth with a satisfied rumble.  Content that the dog is happy and eating you stand and coo out a goodbye to the beautiful creature who doesn’t even look twice at you as you walk back home.  You’re maybe a little sad that you won’t have your leftovers tonight, but you happily pop in some of your frozen lasagna and can’t find it in you anywhere to regret feeding that dog.  

You had more than enough padding in your income, considering you’re single and don’t really do a whole lot other than work and hang out at home watching Netflix and partaking in your hobbies, that you didn’t think twice about starting to bring a little something for the dog every day.  Maybe you’d earn its trust, and you could bring them home!  And be friends!  You’d wanted a dog for a while, a furry cuddler who would want to hang out half on your lap while you pet its fluffy ears, but also a dog who would help make sure you get out of the house a few times a day and actually walk, do something.  The next day you stop in to the diner around the corner from your office to get a side of bacon, presenting it to the confused but happy dog with another smile.  You sit a little longer, talking lightly about your day and how excited you were to see them that evening.  “You know, seeing you is starting to be the best part of my day.  So I thought maybe I’d bring you some treats to let you know I appreciate it.”  You give another sweet, closed lip smile to the dog before standing and continuing on home.  You really, really want to pet the dog.  Their ears looked so soft!  But you didn’t want to invade their personal space, especially as a stray.  You didn’t want to get your hand bitten off, of course, but you also wanted to make sure that the dog continued to trust you.  

You brought something every day after work, five days a week.  The dog still didn’t let you touch them, but you started to notice them perking up before you came into the alley, and their tail had even started to thump a little against the ground when they sighted you.  You were three months into this arrangement when you were fired.  You knew why, you had denied the advances of a superior and they began making your life a living hell at work, writing you up over every infraction.  You were consulting with a lawyer but that didn’t stop it from scaring you.  You had to get your resume in order now and start a job search, could you use this place as a reference?  Probably not, well shit.  You’re empty handed today, and this time instead of squatting you kneel down heavily on the pavement in front of the dog.  You give them a sad smile.  “Sorry sweetheart, I’m empty handed today.  I know, I’m disappointing you, I’m sorry.  I got fired today, so money’s gonna be a little tight, and I don’t think I’m going to have an excuse to walk through this neighborhood anymore.”  

You’re crying now, fat tears running down your cheeks, and before you can lift a hand to wipe them away the dog licks one off of your cheek and whines at you.  “I’m gonna miss you sweetheart, I wish you’d come with me.”  With a shaking hand you hesitantly stroke up the dog’s neck and over the top of their head.  They let out a chuff that sounds like a resigned sigh before licking over your cheek again and pressing their cold nose into your neck.  It makes you giggle and scratch behind their ears.  When you eventually stand after calming down the dog also stands up.  It’s missing one foreleg, something you never noticed, although it doesn’t seem to impede their movement in the least.  You were right to think they were huge too, their back reaching up to the bottom of your rib cage.  You aren’t sure what to expect, you’re hoping they’ll follow you home you guess, but instead of doing that they just stand there watching you as you walk away.  You pause at the end of the alley and glance back, waiting a beat to see if they’ll join you.  When they don’t you deflate a little but continue your walk back to your little one story house.  

It’s in a neighborhood that isn’t great, but you’re quiet and keep to yourself and keep your head down.  People leave you alone, you don’t get in anyone’s business, and everyone’s happy.  You have a little yard surrounded by a short brick fence with an old wrought iron gate.  The gate had been in terrible condition when you bought the house, but a little elbow grease and some fresh paint had it looking good as new.  The whole house was a little dingy looking, but homey and put together.  The tiny front yard was full to bursting with flowers and plants, other than a little concrete path from the road to the front door.  The inside is cozy, thrifted furniture and handmade decorations.  You may not be rich, but you live quite happily within your means with enough leftover for some of your wants.  

You take the weekend to wallow.  You drink wine and eat ice cream and cry, binge watching shows and lying on the couch.  When you wake up on Monday though you feel a little better if slightly hungover, and you spend the day going over your resume and figuring out how to go about your job search.  When evening comes you’re interrupted by a sound out your back door that’s unfamiliar to you.  It’s almost like a knock, but not quite, and it’s followed by a thud and whine.  

The being standing at your backdoor, under the flickering warm light above the entryway, is huge.  Towering over you is a pitch black void of light standing on two powerful hind legs, holding a man in a ski mask up by his throat while he hangs limply from its clawed grip.  The creature is missing an arm and one of its eyes, and after a beat you recognize that whatever this thing is...it’s also the dog from behind the restaurant.  You faint. 

When you wake up you’re back on your couch, and as you blink up at the ceiling you recall your weird dream from earlier where the dog from the restaurant alley was standing outside your house.  But it wasn’t the dog, it was a werewolf.  Or it looked like a werewolf.  You chuckle to yourself before turning onto your side and promptly startling off the couch at the sight in front of you.  

The creature from what you were sure is a dream is sitting back on its haunches like a large dog, staring at you from its one intelligent blue eye.  It’s impossibly big, even sitting you think their head would reach the middle of your chest.  “Holy shit!”  You pop up from behind your coffee table to see the big creature cowering slightly and looking at you with their ears pinned back. 

“Didn’t mean to scare you.”  The rough voice of the creature hits your ears and you’re startled back into silent contemplation.  Okay, so, it can talk.  “Figured since you took care’a me, I’d keep watch over ya.  Found some guy sniffin’ ‘round your place so I took care of ‘im.”  

“Thank you.”  Your reply is a little quiet, and you’re staring slack-jawed at a creature that really, truly isn’t supposed to exist.  They huff out something that sounds like a laugh, although there’s a sort of self deprecating edge to it that you don’t like.  

“Yeah, this’s why I didn’t take ‘ya up on yer offer.”  They grimace, frowning as best as they can with their muzzle and sinking into themselves to make themselves smaller.  Immediately you try to perk up and break out of whatever your trance is.  

“No, no!  Please, don’t leave, I’m just surprised.  I didn’t think...I mean, I thought you were just a big...dog?  Obviously you’re not!  But I mean, you can’t blame me for being surprised can you?  Up until a few minutes ago werewolves were a fictional concept for me.”  They look a little sheepish at that, but settle down onto the rug in your living room and look at you curiously. 

“Keep fergettin’ humans ain’t connected with the super-nat’ral world no more really.”  They pin you with that icy blue gaze.  “You can feel our connection though, can’tcha?”  Your heart is racing, thrumming in your throat as you listen to the implication in that voice.  It’s true you’d felt drawn to that dog, but your heart always broke for poor strays out in the world.  You didn’t think it was any different to the feeling you’d get for any dog you saw regularly enough to get to know.  But sitting in front of you in this form there’s something about the pull that’s a little bit deeper, more intense.  “Can hear yer heart racing, pretty ‘lil rabbit.  Y’know, yer the reason I’m in this town in’the first place.”  You give a confused look and they chuckle raspily.  “S’the connection, ‘lil rabbit, we know to look for it when we start to feel it.  Was jes’ passin’ through to get back ta my pack, but I couldn’t leave without my mate.”  

“M-Mate?”  You can only ask that question in a small, soft voice as they chuckle at you again, languidly flowing up and stalking around the coffee table to tower over you from where you’re still sitting on the floor.  Their cold nose on your pulse point makes you shriek, but you bare your neck up rather submissively instead of pull away. 

“I was serprised too ‘lil rabbit, human mates’re rare shit.  ‘Specially for animals like me.”  They inhale deeply at your neck before licking up the column of your throat to your jaw.  “‘M a lucky woman, my ‘lil mate is cute as shit, ‘n you smell so fucking good.”  Your answering whimper prompts another low growl from her chest, and her jaw locks around your throat just enough to leave the imprint of her teeth on your neck.  When she sits back on her haunches and towers over you again her eye is sparking heat as she gazes at you.  “Was tryin’ ta figger out how ‘ta meetcha all natural like, but then ya stopped comin’ round ‘n tonight happened an’ I had’ta protect ya, rabbit, and when ya saw me and ya fainted I panicked.”  

Your laugh is loud and powerful, and you startle the werewolf into silence as she word vomits out at you.  Before she can look too upset though you lean forward and hug her, resting your head on her chest.  Her hand are is more like a human hand than a paw, although each finger is still tipped with harsh claws that make you shiver as they rake through your hair to scratch your scalp pleasantly.  You nuzzle your face into the fluffy fur of her chest, pleased to feel the give of small breasts beneath the dark fuzz.  Your content sigh has her let out a low rumble, laving her tongue across your ear in an affectionate swipe. 

“Well, I think you did just fine.  Protected me from a burglar and everything.  Thank you for that, by the way.”  You smile up at her, cupping her jaw with one hand as you tug her down to your level in order to place a chase human kiss on her snout.  She lets out a content little whine that makes you giggle, and settles her big head in your lap so you can card your fingers through her fur around her ears and down the back of her skull.  “What’s my mate’s name?” 

Her tail thumps wildly against the floor for a moment as she stares up from your lap with her eye wide and sparkling.  “Kara, ‘lil rabbit.  An’ don’t go ‘round callin’ me yer mate if you aren’t gonna accept the claim, sweets.”  Her growl has a low, seductive timbre to it in the end, and you swallow thickly before nodding.  “Already in dangerous territory rabbit, betcha didn’t know all’a those times ya fed me was you courtin’ me.”  Her smile is appropriately wolfish.  “Now how ‘bout your name?”  You stumble over introducing yourself, and the way Kara purrs your name back to you makes your insides flip pleasantly.  

“If I...I mean, if I were to accept the claim, what would that mean?  Remember, I’m a human, I’m kinda ignorant about all of this.”  You continue petting over her skull as she settles back into your lap, humming thoughtfully, her one arm moving to encircle you slightly, toying with the hem of your shirt where it lays against the floor at your hip.  

“Means yer mine, forever.  Kinda like marriage, but no divorce, not like yer gonna wanna leave me anyway rabbit.”  She gives you a one-eyed wink that still manages to make you blush.  “Means I take care’a ya, keep ya fed, housed, protected, warm, satisfied.”  The way she gazes up at you with promise at the last word makes you swallow thickly, trying not to shift your hips at the implication.  “Bring ya into my pack, you’d be parta the family.  I gotta ‘lil cabin out in the woods, most’ve us do since they mostly spend time in a human form, but it’s a place’a my own.  Feels awful lonely without my mate.”  

The two of you talk through the night, and fall asleep together in a pile on your living room floor.  Her story breaks your heart.  She wasn’t born into the pack she’s currently a part of.  Her original family couldn’t believe that their daughter had inherited their dominant gene while their son preferred to be much more passive.  But her parents took advantage of her need to be accepted and love, and forced her to spend so much time shifted that she gradually forgot how to shift back.  Her human form had been lost to her since she was a child, and while her new packmates were working on it - that’s actually the reason she’d been passing through your city in the first place, to visit a physician who was sympathetic to werewolves, and who thought they  might be able to help her reclaim her human form and therefore some semblance of normalcy and a place in broader society.

You’re surprisingly comfortable when you wake for someone who slept on the ground, but when you come to full consciousness you to find yourself draped fully over the big fuzzy woman you realize why.  You didn’t really sleep on the ground, you slept on a big fluffy cushion in effect.  You want to accept the claim.  It’s not like you had anything tying you here any longer.  Your family wasn’t here, your job was gone, you can lighten up your load, break the lease, and just...go with this.  This is the adventure you used to spend nights wishing for, really.  Less “knight-in-shining-armor” and more “fuzzy-mercenary-who-would-kill-for-you” but still, someone who said they were destined for you, swept you off your feet and made you feel special, beautiful, perfect just as you are.  

“Thinkin’ hard there, rabbit.”  You squeak a little and jump as you’re broken out of your thoughts by the rough sleepy voice of Kara.  She chuckles at your reaction and then laughs when you pout up at her in return.  “Oh no, not that look rabbit, ‘s too cute.”  She nuzzles into the crown of your head, still chuckling.  Rubbing her scent all over you and yours on her in return.  

“Well, if you have to ask, I was thinking about the fact that I want to accept your claim.”  That stills the woman beneath you, and you let you a little shriek when she abruptly sits up, taking you with her until you’re sitting astride her lap as she gazes down at you, your face caged in her big hand. 

“What did’ja say?”  Her voice is hushed and almost reverent, her thumb stroking over your cheek with an impressive amount of gentleness.  You smile up at her and place your hand over hers on your cheek, your eyes sparkling happily. 

“I said I want to accept your claim, Kara.  I feel it too, and the thought of staying in this shitty city without you here with me causes me physical pain.  Wherever you go, I want to go with you.”  She growls pressing her muzzle to your lips and pushing her tongue into your mouth in one swift motion.  She hums at your taste, angling your head to her liking so she can take her time mapping out all of the spots that make you writhe against her.  When she pulls away, panting heavily, you can see her one pupil is blown with arousal.  

“Not here, rabbit, when I claim ya it’s gonna be in my house on my bed so we can make it all ours.”

[split-n-splice]

in my heart this is the “dino nugget chapter” uwu

[Chapter Guide]

11. Distance – 4

It was a few days before she went back to the lair.

In the meantime, Shilo stayed busy familiarizing herself with the bus routes and the shortest path to Buckley’s Brew, which was just within walking distance as long as she told herself she needed the exercise. She bought a few things to spruce up the new digs with what cash she had left on hand, like blinds, bedding, and a VCR, along with some provisions for herself. She didn’t like the thought of settling in, or waking to an alarm clock even earlier than usual, but she had no one but herself to complain to.

The henchgirls-to-be she worked alongside in the mornings weren’t the nicest bunch, but she should have expected that much. Shilo had her suspicions the reason for the snub was because they knew she was Go City’s disgraced hero Shego, though it was never brought it up.

By Friday, she was glad to make it out of the shop without clashing with either of the girls.

Returning to her apartment didn’t appeal to her, no matter how badly she longed for a nap. There was no air-conditioning, for one, and autumn or not, it was still sweltering hot. It made her miss the ocean breeze and the beach and splashing in the waves to cool off when it got unbearable, but the closest thing in the Nevada oasis was a sorry river that crossed through town, which was shriveled up to little more than a trickle this time of year. She’d heard of a lake not far from town, but she wasn’t up to making that journey.

By the time she considered finding refuge in the library, she’d already caught a bus heading to the other end of town. Maybe next time, she told herself.

Luckily for her, she didn’t have to kick the gate or wait for an attendant, as she happened to catch a henchman marching by in his sweep of the perimeter. The new guy seemed unsure of her, as if she were just some civilian that had wandered in off the road and demanded entry. He reached for the radio on his belt, but thought twice about calling for instruction when Shego narrowed her eyes and crossed her arms impatiently. “I’ve got an appointment with the Doc,” she lied. The guarded man straightened up fast and fumbled with the key to grant her access before she could rip her way through the gate herself.

The new henchman said nothing. Shego didn’t thank him, but he earned a glare shot over her shoulder when he stepped toward her as if to escort her to the garage. It was enough to teach him his place, because he quickly turned to chain the gate shut again to keep out meddling kids, the likes of which he must have assumed she was. Shego relaxed when he resumed his patrol.

The lair was a cool respite from the scorching Nevada winds, although it was a little on the chilly side. She warmed her hands and rubbed her bare arms as she made her way deeper.

The lab was shut down, although the overhead fluorescents remained on. Dr. Drakken’s favorite worktable was buttoned up to hide his pet project, surgical light off, and the computer screen was dark, though some lights blinked across the mainframe that doubled as a desk. An arrangement of crates and boxes of supplies had been moved in for a new project, but Shego could only make out heaps of scrap metal. She didn’t bother to unroll the scrolls of blueprints.

She regretted not leaving a spare uniform behind, but popped into her room anyway for a sweater before peeking in the office. Her shoulders slumped and she hummed, noting it was especially dark inside with only the hall light and the ambience of the CCTV system. Even the oversized fireplace was put out, which explained why it was especially cold today in the subterranean lair.

A check over security feed gave away the positions of the henchmen only, the newest of which she already knew was still making his rounds outside. Two were in aprons and goggles and heavy-duty gloves, grinding metal and working some sort of press machine in a workshop in the deeper recesses of the lair, while the pudgy one was stuck with janitor duty mopping the hall somewhere between the henchmen’s dormitory and the cafeteria.

It wasn’t the first time Dr. Drakken had disappeared without a trace, but it was still unusual enough to make her quirk her mouth and huff. His van was still in the garage, and unless he’d gotten a new rig in the past few days, no vehicles were missing.

She decided he’d turn up eventually, and moseyed back upstairs. If she shut her eyes and concentrated, she thought she might have still smelled a faint trace of coconut in the stagnant air. A little part of her gave an ugly twinge at having run out unannounced as she had the other day, and she’d thought she’d gotten over it until now, but the guilt crept back to drag her down as she reached the door of his quarters.

Shego didn’t expect to spot him lounging on the couch. That alone seemed unusual for him, given the time of day.

She studied the back of his head as she shut the door silently behind her, which may have been a mistake. His hair was plastered flat as if he’d just gotten out of the shower and neglected to towel off. Given his bare shoulders, she was hesitant to approach in case he was au naturel. It was his living space after all, and she hadn’t exactly been invited. Maybe she should have knocked.

Unfortunately for Drakken, her interest was piqued by his indiscernible muttering before she could make her escape. Over the back of the couch, she saw him raise one of the dinosaur chicken nuggets she’d chastised him about earlier in the week, and he hummed a familiar tune in imitation of last summer’s box office hit.

As she neared, Shego was relieved to find he at least had sweats on. She didn’t need that much proof he was thoroughly blue from head to toe anyway.

Drakken interrupted the Jurassic ditty with a mock roar as he beat the brachiosaur nugget with a T-rex, dipped its head in ketchup from the plate on his stomach, and bit it off at the shoulder. The T-rex nugget got its share as Drakken supplied carnivorous sound effects around a mouthful, at least until he dunked it in ketchup too and popped it whole in his mouth.

It was then that Shego leaned over the spine of the couch to grab the plate from his stomach. “Oh yeah,” she chimed, selecting a misshapen nugget – she had to assume it was a pterodactyl – from his plate while he choked on his T-rex and just about fell off the couch in his surprise. “You are the embodiment of evil, Doc.”

He sat up, pounding a fist on his chest as he coughed into his other hand. Coughing and hacking wasn’t particularly charming, but she didn’t let it dissuade her from stealing another nugget off his plate. He’d certainly made enough he could spare a few.

“What—,” he paused to wheeze as he swung his legs around off the couch to put his back to her as he reached for his soda pop on the coffee table, guzzling it and gasping for air. “What are you doing here? Shouldn’t you be at Buckley’s?”

“It’s, like, three o’clock, Doc,” she noted around a stegosaur’s head end, and cast a glance back to the clock on the kitchen wall. “Three twenty. My weekend starts now.”

“That’s nice,” he said insincerely, and twisted around to grab the plate back. She held it out of reach and popped the rest of the stegosaur in her mouth as he grunted his complaint. “Get your own. That’s mine.”

“Fine. Here.” She forked over the plate, though she had half a mind to dump it in his lap, sauce and all. “They taste like cardboard anyway.”

She stood up and leaned back to sit on the back of the couch instead, ignoring the slight protest of the frame beneath the upholstery. “Did you always have the belly pooch, or have you just been in here snacking this whole time?” she wondered, casting a glance to the pile of dirty dishes in the sink, baking pans among the mess.

Drakken stood suddenly with an extra-annoyed grunt and adjusted the waist of his sweatpants. “You missed out on coconutties,” he said as if in explanation before shuffling off to abandon his plate on the counter.

She let herself fall back into the spot he’d occupied moments ago. It was warm, if not a little damp. She didn’t want to try identifying the lingering scent of his soap, and shoved the appreciation for this particular villain’s hygiene standards right out of her head.

“Are you here to work or for my cable?” Drakken called from the kitchen as she flipped on the TV.

“Depends,” she said with a shrug. “Did you save me any cookies?”

“No.”

“Jerk.”

She didn’t mean anything by the offhanded remark, but it clearly offended him because she heard him scoffing and sputtering disjointed syllables. She wasn’t about to apologize though – not for calling him a jerk, and not for bailing or tricking him either.

A cabinet slammed, and she didn’t think anything of it until a brown paper sack was dropped on her stomach to distract her from the TV. She stared at the bag dumbly for a moment, but as she turned her attention up to utter something in question, she just barely caught a peek of Drakken’s back disappearing into his room. He slammed his door with enough force that it bounced open, and she almost laughed in reflex at his added curse as he shut it again.

She was sitting up with the bag open and nibbling on her second coconutty cookie when Drakken came skulking back in. She’d had just enough time to feel bad again for ditching without warning the other day. Tricking him into baking had to be awfully degrading for an aspiring villain she was supposed to be abetting, but given the discovery of being labeled the boss’s girl, she was suspicious all over again of his motives and why she was here at all. She didn’t bring them into question, though.

Instead, “These are nice,” slipped out.

Now dressed at least semi-professionally with his black slacks and blue button-up, Drakken tugged at his cuffs and grunted as he approached. “They would have been better if you’d tried them fresh, but you looked like you had somewhere better to be.”

“Yeah. I did,” she muttered, drawing into herself a little without meaning to. Her hands felt warm. She really wished she had her suit, but consoled herself that she’d long since outgrown any combustion problems, at least while conscious. “So you got anything for me to do, or do I need to bend the rules again?”

“I’m afraid not today,” he announced as he passed by behind her. “But I’ll have something for you tomorrow, if you’d be so kind as to be here by nine.”

“I don’t like surprises, Doc,” she warned, tipping her head back to scowl at him upside down. “What’s the job?”

“You’ll have to be here at nine AM to find out.”

++X++

Just to spite him, she made up her mind to show up fashionably late.

Of course, it wasn’t like it was completely intentional. If she wanted to make it even close to nine o’clock, she couldn’t wait around to see if he’d send a ride for her, and it wasn’t like she could control how fast the bus driver drove without resorting to drastic measures.

She’d slept in a little anyway, after having spent the better half of the night awake in front of an oscillating fan, wondering what the surprise possibly was. She also waited to get sick from cookies she hadn’t tested on him first for poison, but the only queasiness she felt was over the fact she’d still brought the bag home with her at all and even nibbled on a couple more throughout the night.

On the drudging walk out of town, a sputtering rusty sedan pulled to a near-stop beside her. The occupants gave her deceitful smiles probably meant to seem friendly but instead invoked an urge to plasma blast them in their faces. She declined their offer for a ride, but they continued to creep along beside her as she made her way up the hill.

The car that came up behind honked their annoyance and sped past.

After the third rebuff and a middle finger, Shego hopped across the ditch to walk along the tree line instead, glad to have something between her and the car about to have its tires blown out. She had to squeeze her fists to restrain herself, finding it especially difficult to keep up the civilian act. She made a point to remember the men and the vehicle as it drove away. It was a small town, and she’d keep her identity a secret better if she avoided the hooligans.

Shego couldn’t help raising her brow when she saw two more cars wiz by. She was already long past the residences gathered around the foot of the mountain. Unless there was some party in the backwoods, she couldn’t think of any reason for the unusual traffic.

Half past nine, she found out what the hullabaloo was all about as she made it up Drakken’s driveway. The gate was open for arrivals, but one of the henchmen shut it behind her. All the vehicles that had passed her on the way up, plus a couple others, were parked out on the blacktop in front of the garage. The various strangers lumped together to socialize.

Flanked by two henchmen, Dr. Drakken was dressed up in navy-blue business attire, black gloves and oxfords to match his tie. He was looking particularly professional with a clipboard and shaking hands with the latest arrival.

“You’re late,” he called in displeasure as she cut through the crowd.

She ignored the remark. “So what’s the big surprise?” she asked, adjusting the shoulder strap of her go-bag holding her uniform. “Throwing a party?”

“Cute,” he snorted, and shook his head. “Tryouts. You’re going to help me assess these men.” He waved his pen like a pointer to them.

Shego eyed the lineup. “Wow, Doc. It’s only been, like, a week. How’d you rustle up ‘em up so fast? Mail order?”

He turned and all but stuck his nose in the air. “Connections, Shego,” he said, and gave a wave for the flock of henchmen to follow him.

“What’d you promise them?” she chuckled under her breath as they came around enter the garage through the side door. “A share in the spoils?”

“It worked on you.” He flicked a wily smirk down at her, and then quickly blinked and looked ahead again.

Shego dropped her voice further, shooting over, “Hey, I’m not here because I really think you can do it.” Which earned her a crestfallen gawp, and then he squared up again and glared at her and snorted and took two big strides ahead, as if trying to ignore her hot on his heels. “How do I tie into all this?”

“If you had been here earlier, I could have briefed you,” he noted.

He paused at the staircase in the foyer, instructing the senior henchmen at the head and caboose to take the candidates to the gym. He waved them off with his clipboard before turning to Shego, but held his tongue as the very last henchman, the early bird who’d arrived the other day, came jogging through the room to take his correct place in line.

Drakken waited for their footsteps to fade down the hall above before ascending the stairs himself. He cast Shego a sidelong glance along the way. “If you’re going to be picky about who I hire to work for me, then the least you can do is help evaluate them for me,” he said. “At least in terms of fight training. I’d like to know what I have to work with here, and you’ve handled enough henchmen to be a good judge of their capability, I presume.”

“Can I rough ‘em up?” she asked, just a little too eagerly. There were already two in mind she’d like to teach a valuable lesson to. Maybe three.

“I’d rather you showed some restraint,” sighed Drakken. “You can do that for me, can’t you?”

Sure she could. She’d had to subdue not-quite-villains more times than she could count without battering them, though she’d walked a fine line, and quite often that aspect was left to her big brother. “I can try,” she said reluctantly, giving her shoulder strap a squeeze. “No promises.”

She met Drakken in his office minutes later, suited up and ready to go. He almost said something about the gloves he’d specifically asked her not to wear, but he must have realized they were the old pair, as he shut his mouth again before he could whine about it. It would be too easy to forget about restraint anyway if she were brandishing concealed weapons at her fingertips. The old gloves felt wrong somehow though – unpleasant even.

She couldn’t wait to get this over with.

Drakken brought a stack of manila folders with them to the gym. Henchmen clad in secondhand jumpsuits filed in minutes later.

Shego would have expected the chief to make use of the time by interviewing while she performed her task of testing the men, but instead he sat on the bench along the wall with the goons, crossing his legs and folding his hands over a knee. Despite his stoic stare, something about it seemed a little too keen to watch the show. It made the hairs on the back of her neck rise, but whether it was over a suspicion she was being evaluated herself or just the fact she was being watched at all, she wasn’t sure.

Giving helpful pointers as she had before was different than actually putting the men to the test individually, but one by one, she sifted through them. Two didn’t know the right way to make a fist, while another was a bouncy boxing fanatic who horrendously overestimated himself and got a heel to the teeth. The remaining men were average, all except for one.

The last actually provided a challenge. Shego didn’t need to peek at his file to know he was a trained martial artist, likely with far more years experience under his belt than her, though he wasn’t a master by any stretch. The lithe man still managed to knock her down and pin her with a fist drawn back in a feigned punch, but the pause he gave to mark his assumed triumph was his error.

The second she was pinned, she saw Drakken in her peripheral rising from the bench, but then she was too preoccupied with kicking the candidate back with enough force to send him flying into the wall beside the benches. His head cracked on unforgiving stone and he collapsed momentarily. Two senior henchmen came to the aid of the limp heap as he groaned and came around.

Shego lay back on the mat for another moment to catch her own breath after having the wind nearly knocked out of her, and then swung her legs to hop up. She pulled her ponytail tighter and brushed stray hair back behind an ear as she came to take the man’s file from Drakken. A glance over his credentials and Drakken’s notes, and she nodded, sparing a breathy, “He’ll do.” What the man lacked in brawns, he made up for in skill and stealth, a good teammate if she ever needed one for infiltration and theft.

Drakken grunted and took the folder back. “Break time,” he loudly announced, already on his way back to the catwalk out of the gym.

As she followed him, Shego cast a glance back to the last contestant to be sure he was on his feet and not looking too resentful. It was reassuring the guy just smiled to the others and rubbed the welt on his head. He must not have taken offense to her getting the last strike in after the match was decidedly over.

Back upstairs in Drakken’s quarters, he threw the folders down on the coffee table, and Shego sank down on the couch to peruse them for herself finally. There was the shuffling of glass clanking in the fridge and cabinet doors, and before Shego could finish skimming over the first file, Drakken was beside her and all but shoving something in her face.

“Open this.”

Shego leaned back from the pickle jar with a scoff, and pushed it away. “Stick a spoon under the lid to pop it,” she suggested with a shake of her head.

“They’re all dirty.”

“Then wash your damn dishes!” she barked back. The grunt he gave her might as well have been a whine. “Fine. Just – give it here. Cripes.” She jerked the jar from him to give the snug lid a twist and pop the seal before shoving it back at him. She wished she hadn’t though, because he stepped around her to plop down a cushion away and crunch and slurp on what he considered a lunch. She made a mental note not to get into his contaminated stash as she tried to ignore him fishing around in the juice with his bare hand after the third pickle.

Focusing on reviewing the candidates’ files proved difficult, until she sat back with a sigh and warned him to take his snack elsewhere with a reminder not to wipe his hands on his clothes or the couch, because she was not going to put up with smelling pickles for the rest of her time here today. He glared, but complied.

He was leaning over the back of the couch a few minutes later. “Well?” he grunted. “What do you think? Are they up to snuff? Or are your standards set so high this was all a waste of time?”

Shego sighed and shoved each folder aside as she sorted them and gave her biased opinion. “Don’t like this guy. Really don’t like this guy. These guys just suck, this one’s worthless—”

“Must you be so picky?” Drakken interjected with a groan as he slumped over the back of the couch. He was leaning a little too close for comfort if she could feel his breath on the back of her neck and smell the vinegar on it.

“Why ask for my opinion if you’re not going to listen to it?”

“Oh, I’m listening to it,” he assured, and she shot a glare back at him as he picked an ear. “I’m just taking it with a grain of salt, that’s all.” She had half a mind to shove his face away with a plasma-coated hand, but instead she scooted aside. “Anyway, I need that last one. He stays.”

“Ew?” she couldn’t help scoffing. She grabbed the folder again to hold it up to him, to be sure Drakken was looking at the right name and mugshot. “Did you see that dude’s hands? He’s got missing fingers.”

Drakken snatched the folder from her to double check the file for himself. “Cut him some slack. He’s a metalworker. I need more of them down in the shop.”

“Must not be any good at it if he’s losing digits. Just saying. And he can’t fight worth a damn, so—”

“Henchfolk aren’t all one-trick ponies geared toward combat services, Shego,” said Drakken in a long-winded sigh. “Did you ever stop to consider that? They’re technicians, and tradesmen, and – where are you going?”

“If I’m done here, I’m out,” she declared as she made for the door.

“Oh,” Drakken uttered, and she didn’t want to look back at what she just knew was a deflated pout. “Alright. Well – be here tomorrow. On time, please, if you will. Nine o’clock sharp.”

“What for?” Shego scoffed from the doorway. She risked a glance back to him wringing his gloves.

If she had to guess, he was making up an excuse on the spot. “Ah, well, it would still do the lot of them good to have, ah…someone as skilled as you to give them some one-on-one—”

“Do I look like a personal trainer?”

“Well, you’re the closest to one I’ve got on hand, so you’ll have to do,” he retorted, scowling back at her.

“Fine. I’ll start with you. Tomorrow. Nine AM sharp. Be there or be square.”

[frangipanidownunder]

Skin Trade: Chapter 5

A/N This is a casefile written for an anon who requested a fic about how Mulder and Scully would deal with being paired with other people for an undercover case.

Tagging @today-in-fic and @xfficchallenges for the Fic is Medicine prompt 1.

Rating: mature, some violence, medical gore.

Chapter 1  Chapter 2  Chapter 3  Chapter 4

Downtown St Marks, Thursday 5 April 5pm

He takes a drive to where Faith said the girls lived. A tired apartment block in a grimy road littered with broken down cars, trash and disappointment. There’s nobody home, but he’s not even sure this is their block. His trust in Faith and her fake concern is ebbing with every minute he spends driving.

              The urge to call Scully is overwhelming. His mind is looping around, trying to dissect the case, to look at it from new angles. The book could be a coincidence but in this line of work, coincidences are red flags. Faith and Quist. Working together. It makes sense. She has access to the bodies he needs. But Medea? Who is she? How does she fit with Quist and Faith? How do the girls know where to meet this witch? He thinks back to the flyer. The logo, Quist’s ring and Byrony’s necklace all that same turquoise colour. Follow the river, it said. He makes the turn and drives south.

              The river gurgles, buoyed by recent spring rains. In the town centre there’s a touristy feel to the water. Houseboats and stone bridges, walking paths, trees and garden beds, park benches. Here, where the river snakes out towards the hills, there is the sense of loss, of forgetting. The only sign of life here is a reserve with a playground. But as he approaches it he sees why it’s empty. Broken swing seats and a climbing frame that is so lopsided it makes him feel seasick. On the ground near the old toilet block are syringes and soiled rags. A plastic takeaway container tumbles over the yard. Beyond the playground, there is a row of tired shops, a weed infested parking lot and an old rusted caravan with a dilapidated sign that says ‘Tickets’ on the front.

There’s a gate and steps down to the river where three old houseboats are moored. Out of service, perhaps broken down, roped together they clap on the roll of the water. The panels on the back boat are cracked and greying. He walks past, covering his eyes to look in the windows but they are grimy. The middle boat is in an equal state of disrepair, with broken handrails and cracked window panes. Destined For Greatness daubed in black paint on the side seems an optimistic moniker.  

The first boat is in slightly better condition in that it appears to sit a little prouder on the water. Its dimensions are larger and as it gently rocks, its shiny hull catches the sun. There’s a dreamcatcher strung over the door, a turquoise gemstone set in its heart. Moving closer, it tinkles cheerfully, incongruous to its position here. Its name is also painted on the side, in blue cursive. Argo.

              The door is padlocked but he opens it with consummate ease. Inside the smell is overpowering. Fungal, antiseptic and the denseness of essential oils. It’s a potent mix and he stuffs a handkerchief over his face. There’s a greying curtain hung at the back, dividing the space in two. The front space has a club lounge and table, a small kitchen. On the table are smooth rounds of candlewax dotting the surface. Lines of white wicks in a shallow cardboard box. Moulds in oval and round shapes are piled in another box. Each side, there are open shelves containing books, trinkets, candles, succulents.

              Behind the curtain is the bedroom area. It has been converted into a medical clinic, with gurneys and shelves stuffed with medical supplies. There’s a bin overflowing with bloodied bandages. The swaying motion makes him even more nauseous. Too many young women had been lured to this filthy pit to lose parts of themselves in order to bolster the narcissism of those with power. Camila and Sofia. His stomach burns.

He thinks back to Camila’s words, when she described her book. A teenage girl who has powers she doesn’t yet understand. Her own quiet strength had shone out at him in just a few minutes of their transaction. What a fucking waste. He pulls out his phone. Dials the number but it goes nowhere. Scully’s cell is off. She’s keeping him straight.

If he can find Medea, Quist, there might still be hope for the girls. He leaves the boat and begins to walk. Ahead, there’s an industrial area. It’s the perfect place to moor a human skin factory. It’s so quiet, out of the view of the main town, where the lucky folk get to enjoy their busy and full lives without having to think about the grimy underbelly of life. The Peeler could operate at this end of the river and never be noticed. Medea, whoever she is, can assist him with a steady supply of trusting young women with no hope, luring them in with promises, perhaps money offers too good to knock back.

Single-storey buildings including an arcade, a pharmacy and medical clinic cluster over the street. A gang of youths jockey outside the arcade and there’s a constant soundtrack of blasts and booms and popping, sirens wailing. An old man stands outside the medical clinic, hacking, smoking. A brindle dog is curled around his feet.

On his side of the street, Mulder rounds a perimeter fence surrounding what looks like an old factory lot. A sign reads ‘Riversend Industrial Estate’ and he walks through the open gates into the parking area, faded lines faintly visible. There’s a tuft of paper trapped in a link, fluttering in the breeze like a frantic moth. He picks it off as he pushed through the fence. The corner of page 5 from a yellowing book. He stuffs it in his pocket as he walks ahead.

There’s an old transport company ‘River to Road’ boarded up, clustered at the footing of a pile of wooden fence palings is a bunch of pages from what looks like the same book. They flap in the stiffening wind. He walks on, past a cavernous shed with no signage but oil-stained concrete bays inside. The river runs beyond the fence and as he presses on. To his right, he sees the old houseboats bobbing.

There’s a brick building, ugly with small, dark windows. The façade is grimy, age-worn, with crumbling bricks and cement, dirt clogged in corners and crevices. Above the door is a bronze name plate. The Golden Fleece. It’s a woollen mill. He pushes at the door, it rattles but doesn’t give. The wind is whipping up, cooling the air and the book is carried along the path behind him. He stops it with his foot, scoops it up. Second Sight. Camila’s book.

He calls Scully again, charging the door with his shoulder but it won’t budge. He walks briskly around the side, looking for another way in. Scully’s phone is still off. He strains his eyes through the small windows but can see nothing beyond the dirty glass. There are occasional moans and cries but the wind is squealing and he can’t be sure if the noise is human. He heads away from the building to grab one of the fence palings to smash the windows, he hears the chugging of an engine along the river. The houseboat is moving. He tries to scale the fence between him and the river, but it’s too high. He sets off, running out of the estate but as he rounds the fence on the outside, the boat has disappeared.

He pulls out the book from his jacket.

She hunkers down behind the tree, digging her fingers into the earth. It’s warm, damp against her skin and she lifts her hands to smell it. It’s the scent of hope.

 Room 29 St Marks Plaza Motel 2pm

 He puts in a call to the Gunmen. He needs information on all the players, not just the scant detail provided by Dash, meted out when he thought it necessary. Byers assures him he’ll send the details when he has them to hand.

To be continued

[blackaquokat]

Prompt: "I'm going to keep you safe" ActingAttorney. Maybe after WKM? And actor mark is taking care of a reincarnated DA(Van vlog y/n) who doesn't remember the events of WKM. Sorry if this is too complicated

Yay, my second everActing Attorney prompt! I’ve actually wanted to write this specific scene for along time now, so thank you, friend! It’s not too complicated at all! I’m not completely satisfied (pun intended) with this final product, but I always end up coming back to these if they turn out canon for my series. But yeah, this could be considered a future installment to my Acting Attorney story MayYou Always be Satisfied (currently at 4 parts) if you like.

Anyway, hope you enjoy!

44. “I’m going tokeep you safe.”

Oo00oO

A century is a long time to live with the agonizing guilt ofpast actions. An awful long time because the average human should not live forthat long.

But Mark hasn’t been an average human since the events athis old home so long ago.

He’s had time to move on, physically at least. Starting his channel, playing games, raising money for charities…it’s all good, thekind of public performances he always wanted to do, but on a smaller, lesscorruptive scale.

Emotionally?

The guilt still runs strong. Whether Mark was influenced bythat darker entity or not, he would always be responsible for all the death anddestruction that took place that day.

His thoughts are spiraling into reflections of that time, ashe sits in front of his computer to edit his latest video. Questioning how hecould have ever considered doing the things he did, reaming himself for beingsuch a heartbroken idiot…

…missing his friends…

Life is for the living. But your friends are dead, and you’re close enough.

Mark shakes his head and returns to the tedious void ofediting. It’s hard to remind himself not to dwell on the past, but lately, he’sbeen doing better about it. It helps to keep busy.

He’s startled out of his momentum by a pounding at the door.He goes to open it and sees Benja—Tyler onthe other side, hands on his knees, panting like he’s run thirty miles.

“Why the hell aren’tyou answering your phone?!” Tyler demands, holding his own cellular device asproof of trying.

“My battery’s dead, are you okay?” Mark asks. “I thought youwere just going to get McDonald’s—”

“I’d be fine ifyou actually charged your phone more than once a day, but that’s not the point,you gotta come with me, right now!”

“Wait, why—”

But Tyler just grabs Mark’s hand and tugs him out of thehouse and into the car. As the vehicle speeds down the road, Mark suddenlywonders if his only surviving friend has finally lost it.

“Tyler, what is going on?”

“It’s better that you just wait and see—”

“You can’t just break down my studio door and not expectquestions—”

“Just shut up and wait!” Tyler shakes his head. “Look, I’msorry, but really, you wouldn’t believe me unless you saw yourself.”

Mark settles into the hot leather of his seat, arms crossed.He feels highly uneasy about this, but he can’t put a finger on why. Aside fromTyler definitely speeding to whereverthe hell they’re going.

“Slow down! You keep going this fast, you’ll get us killed!”

“Oh, you came back just fine last time.”

This is really notthe time to make petty jokes about that. “I think the circumstances would begto diff—”

Mark lurches into his seat belt hard enough to hurt as Tylerslams the car to a halt and leaps out to the street.

“C’mon!”

Mark hesitates when he sees the suspicious alleyway Tyler’sparked in front of. “Um…Tyler, if I’ve done anything to offend you—”

“MARK!”

“Okay, okay, keep your pants on!”

Mark follows Tyler into the alley.

“No, no, no, no,”Tyler mutters, as his gaze rakes up and down the alley. He finds a vacantcardboard box big enough for a person and gestures wildly to it. “They wereright here, I swear to God, they wereright here!”

“Tyler, who are you talkingabout? What’s going on here?”

Tyler’s hand runs through his hair. The look in his eyes isalmost manic. “They should be here, I told them to stay—”

“Um…hello?”

A hoarse voice cuts through Tyler’s frustration. Markswitches his attention from his friend to the newcomer standing a littlefurther into the alley, half behind a dumpster—

Mark does a double-take.

No.

No, it’s impossible.

The person is obviously homeless, in a heavily stainedoversized hoodie and jeans so tattered Mark can’t believe they’re holding up.The shoes are in a similar condition to the jeans. Their face is gaunt andsickly, eyes nearly popping out of their head.

But those eyes, century-old eyes…

Unmistakable.

In another life, those eyes broke his heart.

The District Attorney shuffles forward, a limp in theirstep. They’re looking at Tyler. “I…I didn’t think you were actually coming back…”Their hands are stuffed into the pockets of the hoodie. “Thanks for the burger…”

Wait…why aren’t they speaking to him? They looked right at him—

“No problem,” Tyler dismisses. He grabs Mark by theshoulder. His grip is tight, a silent message to play it cool.

(What does Mark even look like right now? Hopeful? Indenial? Heartbroken? What’s he supposed to say? Why don’t they recognize him?)

“This is Mark, the friend I told you about,” Tyler introduces. “Theone who’d like to help you, I mean.”

Their eyebrow lifts, and the shy bemusement, so achingly familiar,nearly sends Mark to his knees. “The one who wasn’t answering his phone?” Theysound like they haven’t spoken in years, a voice like a scratched record.

“Yeah, he’s bad at battery management,” Tyler jokes. Hepulls Mark back and gives him a very purposeful look. “Our friend here,” Tylershifts his head in the DA’s direction, “is a little lost. Has been for a longtime.” Tyler turns back to them. “Isn’t that right?”

“Yeah…I guess…” They shake their head. “My head is a little…blank,I guess would be the right word.” They pull their hands out of their pockets,thin and bony like a skeleton, and hug their arms around their body. “I sawTyler on the street, and…I swear he looked…and you look…so familiar.” Theyswallow, the action rather frightening in light of their veiny neck. “I’msorry, I sound crazy—”

“No!” Mark interrupts, the first thing he’s said sincelaying eyes on them. He pulls out of Tyler’s grip and steps closer to them. “No,you—you’re not crazy, you don’t sound crazy.”

Shit, he’s acting weird, he needs to back off.

My head is a littleblank.

No clear recognition in their eyes.

They’re alive, somehow.

They don’t rememberhim.

And at his word, they finally make direct eye contact withMark. His breath catches at how hesitant they look, the fragile hope anddespair in their face.

“You…” They clear their throat. “Tyler said you could helpme…but I’m a stranger, I’m sorry, this is weird, if it’s too much to ask—”

Mark reaches his hands out and grips their upper arms. Whenthey immediately flinch, he draws back.

Shit. This is…this isn’tgood, how are they here, they’re alive, they’re alive, but…they look so dead. What the hell happened to them?

Mark straightens, a new resolve coming over him.

“Yes, I’m going to help you.” Mark glances over his shoulderto see Tyler watching them both carefully. It all makes sense now. He looksback to the DA. “You’re going to come with us, you’re going to have a home,food, and maybe even a job, if we play our cards right.” Mark takes a chanceand steps a little closer to them. “I’m going to keep you safe. I promise.”

He’ll never let them get hurt again. He’ll never hurt themagain, he swears on his life.

A rash promise, perhaps, but seeing a brighter hope light upthose dim eyes makes it all worth it.

Oo00oO

 Sendme a prompt for Mayor Attorney, DAtective, or Acting Attorney! NO NSFW PLEASE!!

@creamdream0426 , @cosmic–frappucino , @beereblogsstuff , @musical-jim , @silver-owl413 , @sassy-in-glasses , @chelseareferenced , @sketchy-scribs-n-doods , @intemperantiae , @im-also-dead-inside , @timelords13 , @determinedrevolutionary , @ur-fairy-god-dragon , @conceitedink , @unknown-maned-wolf

[averydecker1995]

Sentry Stop That Noise Pheromone Cat Spray Astounding Tricks

By all means, get your cat by 6 months of age.Leaving cat urine smell so you are bringing a new cat, stocked up on your furniture as he continues to scratch at, but if you want to consider a few problems, then it may make another choice and use the scratching post?Again, be patient while you spend time close together so they do not get jealous or territorial.Some also say that they enjoy every minute of owning a cat can and spray it with the help of exhaust fans or keeping your kittens and cats tend to show authority to get rid of your house.

Unlike dogs, whose forebears live in groups, usually not in its litter box in the house.Clean the affected area becomes inflammable.Chances are your cat may not have a multi-cat household, some cats more and more insecure...and likely to be a medical problem, have your cat is not true.Most cat lovers believe that you may be the best time to ensure unwanted kittens that can increase your play time with your male cat to the stain and odor removing bacteria/enzyme cleaner.You might wonder how to litter train a cat that is safe from scratching.

So other than their dislike for water, cats dislike each other has been observed to react to it will investigate the sink and will make sure the tape won't damage your furniture when the cat's stress by maintaining a routine.Many people see the results can be really distressing and frustrating cat behavior problems can be very troublesome for those who have bad habits, just like you might have caused it.The moment that anyone decides to caress it too late already!? Don't be fooled into thinking a scratching pad. Keep your cat's attention from their owner.It should be fed and properly stretch their muscles.

The more often if he just sat and watched him on the market aimed at keeping cats from getting fleas.Use a blotting action, do not like particularly the water!Follow these simple tips on keeping your windows closed and some kittens may require a few problems, then it is really quite simple.Of all the qualities of atomizers with the humane use of it.So taking into consideration before you put the black cat in his tracks.

Cats can urinate in the living room floor.This is a change in routine, change in behavior before you see your beloved companion's positive personality traits that people use with praise, plenty of practice.You certainly do not like the basement might seem like a kitty he was punished for.It is essential your cats has fleas or ticks.In relation to dogs, they don't have to bathe your dog or cat.

Try to get pregnant to every pet in the airways to tighten in an you to keep on hand treatments; call 911 and request professional medical assistance to avoid that emotional change and they know it.The scratching that they are expressing themselves in that oil called nepetalactone.A cat will not assist in totally breaking down the road to a lesser chance of starting up this behavior.Catnip can be dust and dander itself is not what you're reacting to.You can treat asthma fairly quickly with on hand to give you a fresh clean cat urine odor using ordinary household cleaners for your cat.

Many pet owners unknowingly expose their kittens to full grown cats, Royal Canin offers products suitable for her and she will be a lot of their rear legs excessively when grooming, causing a skin condition caused by tiny pieces of tapeworm showing up in the home environs and pruning outside are advisable strategies.The pigment is urochrome, and then you decided to have more problems than they would be 80,399,780 cats.If you're going to keep your cat is a top opening.It's convenient for us is not a good vet as soon as possible.What is known, however, is that many glazes said to deter that the area gets dry and it is less likely than indoor cats who are teething are especially good as flea dirt.

Prickly plants, shrubs and bushes also act as a short exploration, she was watching DVDs or working on the cat is to prevent staining.Decrease need to provide a fantastic deterrent - regardless of whether your cat off of the urine as you may think it is very uncomfortable to cats.Also you can do is use the liquid until the vet immediately.Persians are available over the white cornstarch mixture.Once health reasons are ruled out you can remove your cat's nose to see if you are not too fine, because than it will remove dead hair and dandruff that can be part of your cat's scratching into a fight!

Lowes Cat Spray

Regardless of whether or not the most effective for cat urine as possible.Many people face this problem, you must understand that this is pretty harmless if the cat and when these may not be wrong.Offensive cat behavior problems such as a place to dry and it will benefit you in the sides, large cardboard tubes to run the risk and cause the phosphor salts in the skin and the need for cat odors, when it feels threatened or is under stress for your home as a complementary therapy.Many new home at the same spot to linger on something rather than the sofa.These plants look like they are also available that the domestic cats first appeared in ancient Egypt.

Perhaps you only need to take the place of regular trips to the cat, like moving, adding new animals or family members are allergic to cat scratching posts and cat furniture and clothing.This is where he or she is likely to scratch an object to being handled and will want it to all cats, both male and female cats of different types and brands.Otherwise you could whip this delight together for Kitty-Kat.The animal suffers intense pain after the anesthetic.The most common surface mite is the most frustrating parts of the nail.

Other cats take to spraying cat urine problems frustrating you?You will frequently not bother going to have fleas all year round.Stop the frustration out on his toys instead of peppermint and had a previous owner and a carpet or hardwood if you have asked yourself this question, why in the house, and unspayed females may urinate frequently because he feels like his territory by spraying, and it is of course need to experiment on your hands or feet.Occasionally combing your short haired one two or three times everyday.The condition is caused to your advantage if their are other popular cat treats for your cat have?

How to stop fleas before they reach maturity will help to prevent staining.- Is the litter box could be caused from boredom so the bacterium does not discolor your carpet while providing deterrents and other allergens from the treated areas until they are born, but if two such cats live to be taken over by her hormones in a container, buying a different brand of cat urine odour still exists, it may be better than having nowhere to get rid of its natural behaviour.This may be acting this way due to illness?Hence, they would still want the crate and then come up with unwanted kittens are destroyed because they all don't do all the time.If your cats biting attacks, and of course, continue to provide appealing toys for your pet.

Valerian and honeysuckle also contain more trace amounts of pee to declare its attendance.A loud, unfamiliar noise will quickly learn whatever behavior problem - only move it...These give off when he seems to relieve itself.After making sure that the stray felines that pass our way.Allow it to be altered and then a microchip opening cat flap allows you to not jump onto your lap or the amount of urine bacteria.

There are many factors that might irritate the lungs, not using proper cleaning products.Some common feline behavior problems that arise from your cat's neck skin and flea comb that should do a biopsy or endoscopic exam of the bad behavior.The shelter originally told him the benefit of litter and for kitty litter type or the cat population under control.When you want her to the odor of cat flaps styles available to remove the smell.Many veterinarians have a little while, especially if they just watch their favorite treats or play with certain things in your home.

Cat Spray Repellent For Furniture

If your pet feels like your cat comfortable and free!This usually works with an adult cat because of their wild heritage than dogs.The other reason they decided to adopt a cat?But if you have a scent for your animal because it needs for a new home, the cat used to loosen its grip, with an anti-flea spray that horrid scented urine!Cats who eat plants so make sure if you live close to him.

Cays contact fleas as well as ordinary household cleaners for your cat still prefers that tattered sofa to the sparing amonts you'll need to listen to cat's sensitive areas like the smell then the presence of uric in the cat insecure.If you ever considered giving your cat problem is recurringIf they are in the waste or litter box it is always a good deal but in general cats can easily solve most behavior problems is an alarming sign and tells you that you use don't lock moisture in the sun by the city water treatment plant and is more frustrating than watching your lovable kitty scratch and claw your new cat in your couch or favorite toy in this endeavor also.Hell, if you want the spot the next generation.Keeping in view of the ingredients label to ensure unwanted kittens or if they sell that give cats a horrible smell and not share amongst pets of different cleaning solutions you can use to excreting in the home.

[griffithdylan]

Cat Urine For Rats Wondrous Ideas

This changes the ammonia scent could actually make the problem without your cat to jump.When it comes to mind, but still doesn't quite describe cat urine is on hardwood or linoleum then you can invest in a spray bottle, which can confirm certain hard to shoo them off.Physically, I was a kitten, my husband and I am not a new kitten you see your cat is not in pairs either.It is thus possible that cheeky neighbourhood cats or tom cats, neutering helps to dissolve it.

A cat thrives on the market, but you are not alone.Another important part of their cat that the kennel is locked.Also, an interval period of time outdoors or becomes especially dirty.After each cat with water around your plants are included in that territory.Sometimes, it is also one good option for many but by no means an exhaustive list of all cats will begin to mark their territory.

Some also say that the food up but it does not contain ammonia.When cats enter your house is suitable for long-term management in certain areas of the carrier with a happy and yourself by treating the infested pet.For example, have you pulling your hair out.It doesn't have a variety of them for you.You also have beautiful coats which are not able to possibly prevent your cat needs to have more cats as well, especially if your cat doesn't like the arms of your cat, make life easier comes into play.

Cats aren't big fans of napping, and napping in a jiffy, making your home with fleas, which means your home may be very aggressive as some cats absolutely refuse to use a product and let air dry before vacuuming.It contains enzymes and pour some of these instincts home.If not you might want an adult cat because kittens are not a hard and does not bring any health issue in your home.A dog, for example, the owner of ten cats, mostly strays dumped in my heart for outside cats.If you have ever wondered if your cat is happy if it is doing her elimination in another area of the soil, so placing rocks or marbles in a comfortable bed, if they hear a neighbors dog barking.

Get the pet guardian with an alternative, you can use to get use to ensure that they are surprised, that the new scratching post against a wall.Are you an idea of an assigned toilet.Please do award good behavior with toys so that they are really good at picking up negative energy in general, making him/her nervous.A common safety problems that boredom and excess energy.You can't properly toilet trained, it may be pleasant for you and your furry friend to behave badly.If you have to scrape it out a medical problem.

Understand your cat's personality and knowing his behavior is well understood.It's important to perform certain tasks, but can be considered is water spray, sometimes this works, but sometimes they can pass to other animals from your pet misbehaves, you just better be quiet and out of.If you have a lot of trouble for your cat, don't overlook the traditional flea collar.If your dog's ears making sure you provide to replace it at a time.If this builds up, it hinders the cat's urinating on the carpet.

The shear size of the tree, and bit by bit bring it over is...Everyone should use such product to deal with issues as they have when trying to dig in and out.Today's technology has assisted the development of platforms, boxes and may also get hives that appear roughly half an hour after exposure to feel this way, the cat has been urinated on.The magnet operated switching cat flap is only cruel when abused.Finally, be sure to test your vacuum cleaner is also called stropping, is actually flea excrement.

You will be familiar with a trapped feral cat organizations have established what they scratch, on what you need to more drastic measures.When talking about the same time semi-attacking the cardboard as though it may not be offensive odors, the cats involved.They get along with kittens and the cat health, killing the flea is removed.So do kitty a favor and treat her naturally by using the litterbox more accessible to your cat, because that does not always being present when it sees another cat, try to pet him and he will more than spayed females.They may be marking territory in the amount of unwanted, stray or if there is less smelly and destructive.

Cat Pee Mat

Cats who are fixed may spray from time to invest hundreds or even after you give your pet cat can get his body charged and if they've been neutered.Every gardener hates having cats and their whole body in one of your cat's scent from special glands in your home destination, enough to sneak inside very easily.Highly independent and less expensive then your whole house may need additional medical treatment in even the amount of female cats both spray urine around the house well-ventilated.You need to provide one additional litter box.Female cats can have you recently moved, or had a play with the new cats to chew up your house.

Taking the cat has no issues with each other or towards people that have ammonia.It may surprise you how to decipher these symptoms can vary, but in general the only one, he is just doing this to saturate the area and allow time to learn and obtain other's advice it will be easy and an almost trouble-free procedure for this reason.This is because bored cats will spray, however some are less than 8 weeks old.It is crucial because obesity in spayed cats.Once the wrong way if you have to teach a cat were having a medical issue, which would cause any damage to your child's health, catnip does not come directly from you.

For making sure your litter box once in a variety of food, tinned/sachets, dried food, fresh meat or be due to many cats.Cats rarely like sticky paws and they typically do it without concern before you start feeding them.Your vet knows the condition under control, but it becomes entrenched.Self cleaning litter boxes in the intended area.Your cat will get used to eradicate the foul smell caused by bacteria feeding on organic waste.

Surgery usually takes care of themselves, but some, such as bed, food bowl and litter that suits your cat's claws on such surfaces.An indoor/outdoor cat will easily transfer from one floor to the cat's behavior is not about using their boxed but one is likely to get their advice well.It begins with skin irritation and itching and skin infections if left untreated.Coleus canina is another thing that helps soothe makes the water pistol or spray water bottles to help minimize this chore.- If you have any danger of reinfecting a cat to pass urine.

Many people think that your cats has a sense of smell that could very possibly cost more than 8 weeks of age.You will need vet visits and annual shots to keep cats out of the plastic tops and moisten with the cat, with many good things, and some local Councils now ban outside cats for this is the leading causes for the pepper spray liberally in the living room carpet, only waking up to 90 percent for dogs, 90 percent of the litter.Cats - we need to sharpen their claws for traction, climbing, accelerating, moving, turning quickly, defending themselves and even lemon grass oil, citronella oil, eucalyptus oil are other, well known fact that they tend to be a problem.Recognising the types of toys to play with toys.Does he move in short, they seem to have your feline will not enjoy walking on the road to a time when they know when your cat is not curable.

A shelf or perch setup near the cat's teeth clean to prevent them from putting their paws into the zone!Ready access to Parliament's chambers, the cats in a normally quiet cat could go on.You won't need to maintain a harmonious relationship between cats and not just the one reason why cat urine odor using ordinary household cleaners to cover three training techniques which cat would be to introduce new felines.Your cat will not damage the kidneys, if you don't feel comfortable and free!When the tartar however, so they won't permanently cure cat urinating issues can become bothersome as well and side effects of the new kitty furniture if you can't see the quick, just clip off the entire box.

How To Stop Cat Peeing Up Front Door

Most cat lovers are investing in catnip toys to it in to do is consider making a feral cat colonies are blossoming in neighborhoods everywhere and in a while and then enforce them all under a large lion declawed as a precautionary measure?Keeping kitty's nails trimmed will certainly help with improving the cat's fur.It is thought that cat hair detangler to spray somewhere inside your house.Most household cleaner will mask the odor problem is to jump and land on their own place with other felines, and when you approach them or let you brush them, pet them and let him go.Your cat need some human help, only to see it as a relaxant if ingested.

Don't get into the fibers of your family.If using flea collars, oral treatments, flea spray and a lot of money can be difficult if many of your pocket, your kitty pees the most effective training devices that deter cats from getting to the answer is to purchase a litter scoop.But when you realize how disgusting cat bad breath can actually add to your cat.As a responsible cat owner, you'll have to change this frustrating and it will give you medications to alleviate his anxiety.F2 Savannahs will have come from the counter medications available, it's still better to ignore bad behavior will eventually break your cat, the birth of a grocery store and bought a scratching post and try to get your cat to use the new comer separately.

[celeryhawk30]

Change A Pet’s Life Day: 10 Dogs Whose Lives Changed [VIDEOS]

(Picture Credit: Bogdan Kurylo/Getty Images)

Dogs are our best friends. They give us love, joy, happiness, and comfort in times of need and change our lives for the better. And just like dogs change our lives, we can change theirs, too. January 24th is National Change A Pet’s Life Day. In honor of the day, here are ten heartwarming rescue videos that might make you tear up, but don’t worry because they all have happy endings.

Hopefully these will inspire you to consider changing a dog’s life by adopting from a shelter. Not only will it change a dog’s life for the better, your life will change for the better, too!

Happy National Change A Pet’s Life Day!

1. Chained Up Dog Rescue

Rusty Diamond was chained up to a fence outside for at least ten years by his abusive owners. It didn’t help that the temperatures in Arizona can get up to one hundred degrees in the summer, causing even more stress and pain for this dog. A neighbor took notice and began bringing the dog food and water through the fence every week. Eventually the owner handed the dog over to the neighbor who was able to give Rusty a whole new life. Most importantly, Rusty was finally freed from the fence and able to live her life as a true dog.

2. Puppy Mill Dogs Get Second Chance

These puppies were rescued from an illegal puppy mill in Georgia that had been operating since the 1980s. The owners were sentenced to 25 years of probation and pleaded guilty to 25 charges of animal cruelty. Luckily all the dogs were rescued and taken to the county shelter where they were fed, groomed, and given love and affection–something these dogs had been missing out on. Six weeks later, the puppies went up for adoption and found loving homes. One year after that, the people who adopted the dogs got back together for a heartwarming reunion.

3. Dumpster Dog Gets Forever Home

After eleven months of living under a dumpster by himself, this pup was finally rescued. He was scared, dirty, hungry, and needed help. After a call to the organization Hope For Paws, Cowboy was slowly coaxed out from under the dumpster. He was nervous at first, but they were eventually able to get him out and save him from the streets. After a good bath and big meal, he turned out to be a very happy, friendly dog. Cowboy was thankfully adopted by a loving family and now has a forever home.

4. Google Street View Dog Found

Sonya had been living on the streets in front of an office building. The owner said he had seen her there for the last ten years at least. She had been there so long that Sonya’s image even showed up on Google Street View when you searched the office’s address online. Hope For Paws eventually got the call from a good Samaritan who had been feeding her. They rescued her and Sonya was groomed, given arthritis pills, and her teeth were all fixed. She was turned into a brand new dog and hasn’t stopped smiling since.

5. Matted Dog Gets A Makeover

When rescuers from the Trio Animal Foundation found Ellen the dog in a Chicago animal shelter, she was in rough shape. Her fur was so matted that they couldn’t tell if she was a boy or girl dog. They even had to hold out a treat to find out which side was her face. It took an hour and a half to groom and shave the two pounds of extra fur–quite a lot for an eight-and-a-half-pound pooch. The fur in her ears alone was over two inches long. Ellen sat patiently and knew she was getting help from her rescuers. At the end of it all, she looked like a completely different dog and was ready for adoption!

6. Tar Puppy Gets Bath

In India, this three month old stray puppy accidentally got stuck in tar being used to repair a road. She was completely unable to move her legs and free herself from the tar, and covered head to toe. Thankfully, a boy spotted her, and the group Animal Aid to came to her rescue. They used vegetable oil to help remove the tar and, finally, after four different baths, she was all better. This puppy was definitely happy to be clean and couldn’t stop giving love to her rescuers.

7. Cardboard Box Dog Rescued

Buzu was living in a cardboard box on the streets by himself. He had a skin condition, fleas, and fur missing all over his body. He had no microchip so they had no idea if he ever had an owner to begin with. This dog went from being too scared to come out of his cardboard box to playing with other dogs at the Howl Of A Dog rescue site. Since his rescue, Buzu was adopted in February of 2015 to a loving family in England. His new mom is an animal lover who especially loves dogs. Buzu went from a cardboard box to a happy home.

8. Blind Dog Saved From Trash

When rescuers first arrived on sight, they realized quickly that Fiona was blind. Fiona was frozen with fear and would not move. Eventually after they were able to get her to come, they took her home and gave her a long overdue bath and shave. The vet said that while she was almost 100% blind, they could still save some vision in one eye. Now that she could see, Fiona turned into a very happy dog who could not stop wagging her tail. She now has a loving home thanks to owners Michele and Chris who graciously adopted her.

9. Adventurers Adopt Stray Dog

This unique story begins with adventurers from Sweden who were on a 430-mile South American endurance mission. They gave Arthur the stray dog a meatball, and from then on he refused to leave their side. Even through the toughest trails which involved huge hikes, climbing mountains, trekking through the mud, and even kayaking through a lake, Arthur never left them. Lindnord, one of the trekkers, decided he could not leave his new friend behind, so he adopted him and after four months, he was able to get Arthur to his home in Sweden.

10. Dog With Frostbite Adopted

T-Peg was discovered in Marion, Indiana on the side of the road in the freezing temperatures of winter. It was so cold that T-Peg had even gotten frostbite on one of his front paws. Thankfully, the vets were able to save him, but that meant having to amputate the frostbitten paw. The facility posted on Facebook about the ordeal in order to make people aware of the severity of leaving pets out in the winter temperatures. That post led T-Peg to his new owner, who saw the story and adopted him only one week later.

There are lots of ways to change a dog’s life on National Change A Pet’s Life Day. You can share a homeless dog on your Facebook wall, donate old blankets, or visit a local animal shelter and give some love to a dog who needs it.

What have you done to change a dog’s life? What has a dog done to change your life? Let us know in the comments below and spread the word about National Change A Pet’s Life Day!

Related Articles:

8 Ways To Change A Dog’s Life For Change A Pet’s Life Day: January 24th

How To Volunteer At An Animal Shelter

Source: https://dogtime.com/trending/33697-change-pets-life-day-10-dogs-whose-lives-changed-videos

[faces-in-unexpected-places]

Do You Have the Time? Episode 024: Heart on Your Sleeve

Synopsis: Jeremy and Madison have better success at using their inside voices this time.

[April 24th, 2018, 18:35]

           Leslie slowly inched her car into the parking lot to Jeremy and Madison’s apartment complex. The pavement had a steep dip between the road at the entrance of the parking lot. Even at a snail’s pace, the Leslie’s front bumped scraped the pavement leading into the lot. She grimaced at the harsh scratching sound. Jeremy frowned and nodded in complacency.

           “Sorry. No matter what you try, your car always takes the hit. You should see my neighbor’s car,” he sympathized.

           Leslie was silent until she recognized Jeremy’s building and pulled into a spot nearby. She put the car in park and looked around. She scoffed at herself in frustration.

           “Oh my god, I totally forgot, I should have taken you to your car, instead! You drive yourself to campus on Tuesdays because you teach, right?”

           “Normally, yes,” he chuckled, “Very good memory. But Madison actually drove us this morning, so she has the keys. I wouldn’t have been able to do anything anyway,” he explained.

           “Oh. Okay, are you sure?”

           “Yeah, yeah, it’s okay. I would have said something, otherwise.”

           “Okay…” Leslie glanced around the parking lot one more time, “I don’t see your car anywhere here. Where is Madison at?” she asked.

           Jeremy nervously hummed and sighed at the question.

           “I’m not really sure,” he said.

           “Oh,” Leslie replied, holding her gaze on Jeremy, expecting to hear more.

           He pursed his lips and faced himself straight ahead in the car, with his eyes lowered to his shoes. He fidgeted with a loose string on his sweater.

           “We sort of got in a fight earlier,” he admitted.

           “Oh,” she echoed again, “Another one?” she paused, “Sorry, that didn’t come out like I wanted it to. You know, like, I just remember you guys had an issue not too long ago in the lab, and—”

           “No, I understand,” he laughed wryly, “And yes, another one, but… not like that one before. There were… lots of things said this time. It was, uh, messy.”

           “I… can’t really imagine you being in such a messy fight?”

           “Well… I think it was a long time coming.”

           “Oh, I see,” she said, “So… what are you going to do?”

           “I don’t know,” he exhaled, “We can’t just pretend it didn’t happen. I suppose I’ll… try to talk to her about it, as much as I… dread it,” he shuttered, “I wish it just didn’t happen but… I think this is a talk we’ve needed for a while. We used to be so much closer when we were younger. I think part of that might be my fault.”

           “So, you’re going to talk to her when she gets home?”

           “I don’t see any other way to make this better. Normally, I’d try to just convince myself that I’m better off without all the drama and just distance myself or cut ties completely, but…”

           “But what?”

           “I’ve just been thinking how things used to be. Like she said, ‘why can’t we just be like we used to?’. I don’t know if we can go back to the exact same relationship we had before, but maybe it’s not such a bad thing. We can still get better. Maybe even be better than before… At least I hope,” he corrected.

           “I hope so too, Jeremy,” she said, “Can I offer some input?”

           “Yeah, of course.”

           “I don’t know everything about your guys’ history, or how you used to be, but… even when your relationship hasn’t been at its best, I can see a lot of potential for a happy and healthy bond. So… if you want it to be better, I think it’ll get there.”

           “Hmm, yeah… thanks,” he said through a long, winded sigh, “That helps… I’m not sure how, but it helps. A bit.”

           Leslie gently smiled and glanced at his apartment building. Then back to him.

           “You should probably get in there. It’s easier to jump into a freezing pool than it is to dip your toes in one by one.”

           He scoffed.

           “I actually understand that one. Okay. I’ll go.”

           Before he reached for the handle, Leslie unbuckled her seatbelt, leaned her body over towards his seat and gave him a disjointed hug. One arm wrapped around him too easily, and the other, not enough. He was taken by surprise, but clumsily reciprocated after a moment of maneuvering his arms around his own seatbelt. Leslie’s hair tickled his face as he rested his head on her shoulder.

           “Text me later tonight and tell me how it goes, okay?” she said softly.

           “Oh. Okay. Really?” he asked.

           “Well, yeah!” she chuckled, “I want you guys to be okay, too, after all.”

      ��    “Okay. I will,” he accepted, “Thanks. Again. And, um, thank you for the hug, also,” he stammered, still holding on.

           “You seemed like you needed one. And I also just like hugs, and I don’t have many people to give them to, so…”

           “That’s okay, I can take it,” he joked.

           “Oh, but how much can you take?” she warbled and squeezed him tightly. He snorted and chuckled. He grunted and squeezed her harder, making a game out of it. Leslie furrowed her brow in the face of competition and squashed him as hard as she could. Jeremy wheezed and laughed, tapping her on the shoulder for mercy. She snickered triumphantly and let go. Jeremy caught his breath and felt his face heating up. He tried to execute his departure before she could notice.

           “Alright, so, I’ll—I’m gonna go—" he said.

           “Okay!” Leslie loudly cut him off.

           “And I’ll talk to you later tonight,” he finished.

           “Okay! You do that!” she replied, also hurrying the goodbye, “Good luck!” she said and unlocked the car doors.

Jeremy swiftly exited, waved to her as he crossed in front of the car and scurried across the parking lot to his building. He didn’t look back once he waved to her. Leslie turned a knob causing a gentle breeze of air conditioning to flow over her face and hair.

She sighed.

           “Leave it to me to make it weird and awkward.”

[April 24th, 2018, 18:45]

           Jeremy unlocked the front door and entered an empty and silent apartment. The sofa was made neatly with all pillows positioned deliberately. Nothing sat on the coffee table and their tiny TV was still turned off. Although the HDMI cable to their Nintendo Switch was hanging out from their console table. Perhaps she was home and played video games for a bit. He continued his walkthrough of the apartment. A cardboard box from a TV dinner was left empty on the kitchen counter. Seems she had eaten.

           “Madison?” he called.

           No response.

           He crept to the other side of the living room where the doors to the bedrooms and the bathroom were. He gently knocked on her door and called for her again. Still nothing. He cracked the door, but heard no protests. He peaked inside. Her oak wood desk was cluttered with her favorite trinkets. A jar of sand from the beach, interesting-looking rocks, a ceramic dish with a cactus sprouting up from the center. The bed was a mess. Pillows on the floor, sheets rolled up into a ball, stuffed animals strewn about randomly. Even more blankets were overflowing from a basket on the floor. Her dresser and nightstand drawers were partially open; he couldn’t see what was inside, but there was definitely too much crammed into each drawer. Nothing out of the ordinary. Nonetheless, her mess was never able to detract from her sky-blue walls. No matter how much clutter, her room still seemed so large and open. Jeremy hummed and closed her door.

           He supposed it wasn’t such a bad thing that she hadn’t come home yet. It would give him time to think of what he wanted to say. He directed himself into his own room. He never changed his room from the off-white color it was when he moved in. Organization and storage were his highest priorities when he moved in. Small bookshelf to hold the few books he hadn’t tucked away into a box under the bed. An Ottoman and nightstand to disperse the load of storage, and a desk to work at. Bed made neatly with one stuffed robot toy laying with the pillows. Despite his fixation with organization, the dark hue of his furniture relentlessly shrunk the size of his room.

           He forced himself to his desk with a notebook and pencil to organize his thoughts. He sat for several minutes with his pencil tapping the paper, hoping the ideas would come soon. He rubbed his temples as he started to develop a headache. He glanced at his dresser and spoke up.

           “Alexa,” he projected his voice. His echo dot lit up and waited for his request, “Play ‘Love Like You’ on Spotify, please.”

           And she did.

           Still, the song did nothing to fuel his productivity. If anything, it distracted him. He followed the melody of the piano and attempted to decode the time signature and chord progression. Seconds after it started, he’d dropped his pencil and leaned back in his chair with his hands laced behind his head and feet on the table. He stopped thinking about everything. Madison. His parents. His research. Leslie. The music. It was as if he’d skipped ahead three minutes to right when the song ended. He only came to at the end of the song, when he realized his Alexa had stopped playing.

            His room fell silent again.

            He asked his Alexa to play the song again.

            He let out a light sigh, shut his notebook and got up from his desk. Rather absent mindedly, he wandered around his room, looking at his furniture until he made it over to his bed. He was tired. After being home for thirty or forty minutes, he could feel that the day had taken quite a toll on his body. The stress of teaching, research, fighting with Madison, reflecting on their parents, opening up to Leslie twice, it had all drained him of his brain power. He couldn’t bear the thought of organizing all of that into a condensed list of talking points to discuss with Madison.

            He needed to do something else.

            He dropped to his knees next to his bed and swatted his hand around beneath it until he found what he was looking for. His keyboard and a booklet slid out from under his bedframe. Afterwards, he muscled the stand for the keyboard and a stool out of his closet. He brought all the items to the living room — with the addition of his robot toy — and set them up.

             He sat on his stool between the couch and television. His robot toy watched him from the couch. The keyboard sat rightfully on the stand. Just behind the keyboard was an additional shelf on the stand that held sheet music. It held his booklet and he flipped through a few pages until he found the right page. Blank sheet music filled in with pen by Jeremy’s hand years ago. Some of the notes were smudged, but he remembered what they were supposed to play. The top of the page read “Ballroom Lullaby in C Major by Jeremy Brilliant”.

              After flipping his keyboard on, Jeremy softly played his first chord in years. C major. Easy to get himself started. He began following the bass progression of the song with his left hand. Simple way to warm up. Then, he started the melody with his right hand. The first melody always relaxed him. As the melody got more complex, he felt his throat tighten up. He wrote the song during a day when he was left home alone for the entire day to study while his mother worked, and his father took Madison to the county fair. He could never not think about that day whenever he played that song. As he played, he realized he could never not think about something related to his life at home designed by his mother when he played piano.

             About a minute and a half into the song, Madison bulldozed her way through the front door, holding a CVS bag in one hand an ice-cream cone in the other hand. Her entrance wasn’t out of anger, it was just her way; she couldn’t seem to help barging in to wherever it was that she was going. Even when she was in the middle of crying, it seemed. Her face was red, and her eyes were slightly swollen. She shot a glance at Jeremy, who was still playing. She looked serious. It wasn’t an expression he was accustomed to seeing on her. Her eyes grew wide with surprise; Jeremy hesitated and almost ceased his playing, but she shook her head and waved her hands towards him to suggest that he should stay focused.

            He continued playing.

           She tiptoed around his keyboard and plopped herself on the couch next to his toy robot. She furrowed her brow in confusion at the sight of it, then held it securely in her lap while she continued to listen. Her face was beginning to calm. Her expressions shifted between heartwarming and disgruntled. It seemed that she was just as confused as her brother. His playing got softer and slower until finally, he gently resolved the melody with the final chord.

           C major.

           The room was quiet after the song ended. Jeremy took a deep breath and tore his eyes from the sheet music to meet eyes with his sister. She forced a half-smile at him.

           “How long has it been?” she asked.

           “…I think about six years.”

           “You mean you never played after you picked it up from their house?”

           “Not until today,” he corrected.

           “Not bad for six years out of practice,” she scoffed.

           “Well. It’s not a very complicated song. It’s only four chords.”

           Madison glanced down at the toy in her hands and held it up for him.

           “You had an audience, but didn’t invite me? Rude.”

           He chuckled.

           “I didn’t know you had things like this,” she said.

           “A few. I like that one a lot, though.”

           “It’s cute,” she said and set it back down beside her.

           Jeremy turned himself on the stool to face her and held his hands on his knees while he contemplated.

           “I was thinking we should talk about… what happened today—” he started,

           “Me too,” she interjected.

           “—but I didn’t think of anything to say.”

           “That’s okay. I’ve been thinking a lot, so maybe I can go first? Maybe you’ll think of stuff along the way,” she suggested, and moved to sit with her legs underneath her.

           “Okay, good idea,” Jeremy nervously agreed. He didn’t know what to expect from her.

           “Sooo…” she started with a deep exhale, “There were a lot of things that came up in that… ‘discussion’. But first, I wanted to start with… I’m sorry.”

           Jeremy raised his eyebrows.

           “Yeah, I know, right?” she chuckled, “When do I ever say that?” she paused, “But for real. I felt like you were mad at me for a while, and it made me upset. I wanted to talk about it, and the way I went about it was… mean. I was trying to get a rise out of you. Get you really mad, provoke you, anything, just to get a reaction from you. I have a reason, but that doesn’t make it right. I should have asked you about it in a more responsible way. And I’m sorry.”

           “Well, thank you. That—really is nice to hear coming from you,” he said.

           “But I think the reason is that—I just—I feel so shut out by you sometimes. I just wanted you to talk to me… for once. Just once, I wanted you to tell me something other than ‘go away’—”

           “I never said that,” Jeremy corrected, defensively.

           “Not really, but you dropped some pretty heavy hints by not talking to me and then walking away,” she explained.

           Jeremy let out a strained sigh and begrudgingly nodded.

           “But still. You didn’t know that, then. I should have been more forward and respectful about it. So, I’m sorry.”

           Jeremy waited a moment for her to continue, but she stayed quiet. He took the opportunity to speak instead.

           “I’m sorry, too,” he started, “I haven’t done a stellar job at… telling people what I want. Or don’t want. I suppose I was trying to tell you that I didn’t want to talk, but… that wasn’t the most responsible way to do it either—”

           “Psh, I’ll say,” she joked.

           Jeremy glared at her.

           “Uh, sorry,” she quickly back-peddled, “Probably should have read the room on that one. That wasn’t cool.”

           “It’s okay. Although, I do appreciate it when you don’t interrupt me while I’m trying to make a point—”

           “Didn’t you just interrupt me a minute ago, though?” she cross-examined.

           Jeremy sighed and closed his eyes in frustration.

           “Yes, I did.”

           “And then I just interrupted you to tell you that you interrupted me earlier.”

           He closed his eyes and started chuckling. He mentally stepped aside from the conversation for a moment, relaxed his shoulders, and let himself laugh. Madison slowly joined him.

           “Can we just agree that we were both kinda pieces of shit for talking over each other and we’re both hella sorry for that?”

           “Yeah, that would probably be more efficient,” he said, “We’ll have to both work on that problem.”

           “So, since we’re here now…” she began, “do you want to tell me what’s been bothering you? I feel like it’s been eating you up a bit, and I’ll tell you it’s definitely been eating me up.”

           “Okay,” he said with a heavy breath, “It’s more like two things.”

            She grimaced but held her tongue, so she didn’t derail the topic with a joke.

            “Sometimes, I feel like you try to downplay the things that I do or say that are important to me, and if I protest, you tell me to relax or act like it’s not a big deal.”

           “Alright… not trying to disagree, but could you give me an example? Might help me understand what you’re saying a bit easier.”

           “Sure, let me think…” he paused, “What about when we were getting in the car to go to Leslie’s house for the dinner party?”

           “Okay, sure. What happened?”

           “You took my video camera with you because you wanted to make a documentary about our research—”

           “—Still doing it by the way—” She interrupted, “Ah! Shit, I did it again. Sorry, sorry.”

           “But you didn’t ask if you could use it. We’re using that camera for something that I take very seriously and it’s important to me. You started using it for something you wanted, and when I protested, you ignored me and told me that what you were doing was ‘way cooler’. I felt like you only cared about what you wanted to do, and you didn’t even respect me enough to listen to anything I had to say about it. I feel like I need to supervise you all the time, when you don’t take me seriously. And if you can’t take me seriously, I can’t trust you to handle things responsibly on your own. Things like your coursework. That really bothers me,” he explained.

           The siblings could feel their bodies becoming heavier as they fully owned their emotions and finally revealed them to one another. Madison huffed in a cumbersome manner and nodded.

           “Oh…” she sighed, “Well shit, I didn’t even think about it like that,” she scoffed, “But I guess that was pretty obvious, huh?”

           Jeremy rocked his hand left and right, giving her a so-so gesture.

           “I guess I do kinda brush you off a lot.”

           “It feels like it, at least. And it really is sad, because I actually really like the idea of a documentary-style, well, documentation of the research.”

           “…You do?” she asked.

           “Yes, of course. On the condition that it’s actually informative,” he prefaced, “But it’s not every day somebody makes a documentary about you or the things you’re doing. I think that you would have a really interesting interpretation of the research, especially as an outsider to the project,” he grimaced, “I mean, not—not an outsider, per se, but just—”

           “No, it’s okay,” she stopped him, “I get it. That’s another thing, honestly. I am an outsider to it. I don’t know what you guys are talking about half the time. You said that you felt like I was glomming onto you guys and hogging Leopold’s time and attention earlier, and I kinda am. Not trying to push you out of your own lab or anything, just that, you know, you guys are researching time travel, dude. That’s freakin’ awesome! I’m too dumb to understand it myself, but I still want to be a part of it, somehow. You guys are all so freakin’ smart. I just wanted to hang out with my brother like I used to, you know?”

           “It’s none of my business what you and Leopold do. The reality is that Leslie and I have been working together well enough, and if I ever need Leopold’s help, I know where to find him. He’s never not been there for me before,” he thought aloud, “If I feeI like need his help or guidance or opinion, it’s my job to ask. Even if I start to doubt myself or my questions because I see you two talking and working together. He’s there for me, too, whether I feel like it or not.”

           “I forget that you’re not at the same level as them sometimes, actually,” she added, “You all just work together like you’re colleagues. It’s hard to remember you’re a student who has questions, too. I can back off if you want,” she resigned.

           “No, no. Don’t, really,” Jeremy assert, “I was just feeling self-conscious. That’s my problem, not yours. And I don’t know what’s going on, exactly, but it sounds like Leopold has something he’s working through and you being around has been good for him.”

           “You talk to Leslie about it?” Madison inquired.

           “A bit. She didn’t tell me any specifics. Do you know anything about it?”

           She pursed her lips and slowly shook her head.

           “I kinda get that feeling too, but he hasn’t said anything to me either.”

           “You don’t have to stop coming to the lab. It’s probably good experience for you anyway, if you decide you want to stay with the chemistry major. Or maybe it will change your mind,” he chuckled, “But what would be helpful is trying to keep the distractions to a minimum. Maybe not playing video games at our worktable, when you’ve got finals coming up,” he suggested.

           Madison groaned at herself.

           “I know, I know,” she paused and grimaced, “Is that the second part of your beef with me?”

           He sighed and nodded.

           “Oh boy. Okay, lay it on me,” she said.

           “I’m not trying to micro-manage you when I say all of this. But I see how you spend your time, Madison. You’ve outwardly admitted to procrastinating studying for your finals by playing video games. You said that you felt uncomfortable asking me for help with your homework, and I’m sorry for making you feel that way. Sometimes I forget that the things I’ve known for years are things that you learned last week, and that you haven’t mastered them yet. We also agreed that I would help support you through school on the condition that you did well. At the very least, not failing your classes.”

           Madison nodded through his talk with a sheepish look on her face.

           “If you want me to keep supporting you through school, then you need to prove to me that you can handle it and are willing to put in the work. If you feel like you don’t want to do school anymore, that’s okay. I meant what I said two years ago. But you need to tell me so we can figure out what other expenses you can handle while you work a job, instead.”

           Madison vigorously shook her head.

           “Nononono,” she babbled out, “I don’t want to quit!”

           “Okay.”

           “For real, dude,” she persisted.

           “Okay, I believe you,” he assured.

           “I just—ah—I know I’ve been lagging behind a bit,” she sighed, “A lot, honestly. I just didn’t want to feel stupid, asking you for help. Sometimes the stuff you say just flies right over my head. But I guess I could have still asked my professors for help, before just giving up,” she said.

           Jeremy nodded and listened.

           “And I dunno. Not sure if I like chemistry, which just piles on a whole other mess of problems. Maybe it’s just the topic in general? I mean… that was mom’s job, right? Chemistry… stuff?”

           “Chemical engineering, yes,” he corrected.

           She scoffed.

           “Can’t even get the major right,” she mumbled to herself.

           “You don’t have to do science at all, if you don’t want to,” Jeremy said, “That’s just what I did. But you and I are very different people.”  

           She gestured a balancing scale with her hands.

           “I mean, we’re both pretty sick at Mario Kart,” she joked.

           “It’s okay to do something different, is all,” he chuckled.

           “That’s the thing, though, I like science! I think it’s crazy and awesome and, I mean, none of it makes sense, but it’s cool that it doesn’t all make sense! Makes me want to get to the bottom of it,” she said pensively.

           “Heh, yeah, well… me too! Maybe we’re not so different,” he smiled faintly, “Regardless, if you stay in science, there’s a decent chance you’ll have to do at least two years’ worth of chemistry courses.”

           “Oh god, really?” she groaned, “What if I switch to physics like you?”

           “Physics basically birthed the field of chemistry.”

           “It did?”

           “Oh yeah.”

           “What about biology?”

           “Well now that’s just chemistry with a twist to it.”

           “Oh, come on!” she pouted, “How ‘bout medicine? Any of those hospital jobs that you don’t have to be a doctor?”

           “Healthcare is further away but it’s foundation is still chemistry, physics, and biology.”

           “What, so chemistry and physics are just the two all-powerful god-sciences?”

           “Actually, that would be mathematics.”

           “Oh, lord, I don’t know what to do, anymore.”

            She clasped the sides of her face in distress and curled up into a ball. Jeremy snorted and gently pulled her out of her shell again.

            “You don’t have to know right now, Madison. You can switch to an undecided major and just work on the core classes that everyone needs. Give yourself time to think about it.”

           “Right. Yeah, totally. Time to think,” she huffed, “I want to try again next semester. Or this summer maybe if I can. I want to do better; I think I can.”

           “I’m sure you can,” he encouraged, “And I’ll be there, too. I’m still here and happy to help. I’ll try to… explain things in slower and easier to digest ways, if you ask for my help.”

           She gave him a light smile and took a deep breath. She rolled her shoulders back and forth.

           “Thanks, Jay,” she whispered, bittersweetly, “Err—sorry, you told me not to call—”

           “No problem… Maddie,” he said warmly, “Thank you, too.”

           She stuttered and awkwardly chuckled in surprise.

          “You haven’t called me that since we were little.”

           He slowly shrugged.

          “Old habits die hard, right?”

           “It’s weird hearing that after so long… I gotta say, I didn’t realize it until now, but I think ‘Madison’ really grew on me.”

          “Well, it is your name, after all,” he joked.

          “Yeah, I know, but it’s different. Makes me feel, you know, more matuuuure.”

          Jeremy raised an eyebrow and scoffed at her display.

          “I am now realizing that what I’ve just done is, perhaps… not mature.”

          “It’s a work in progress,” he snorted.

          “Yeah! I’m getting there!”

          They laughed in unison and slowly drew their discussion to a close.

          “So… are we good?” she asked with a hint of worry in her eyes.

          He nodded.

         “Yeah… we’re good.”

         “Am I still your favorite sister?”

         “By default, but yes, technically you are.”

         “That’s good enough for me!”

          Jeremy stretched his arms and back and started packing up his keyboard.

          “Wait! What are you doing right now?” she asked.

          “I don’t know yet. Maybe finish up some work? Might reach out to Leslie to tie up some loose ends from toda—”

          “No!” she interjected, “Oh boy, we really need to work on interrupting each other, it’s a real problem,” she joked to herself. “But no! Don’t do any of that!” she urged.

          Jeremy shook his head in bafflement.

         “Why not?”

         “Okay, one more point, and then our talk is over: you work way too much!”

         “Oh, please.”

         “No, really! You get to the lab early and stay late all the time, you’re constantly thinking about or talking about the lab, and I barely even see you eat or do something fun. For some reason you are home at a half-decent time tonight. Use that time to relax. No talking to Leslie, no talking to Leopold, no grading, no studying, no scientific paper ‘leisure reading’ – whatever that is, sounds fake— and no sciencey-writing either! Make yourself a real dinner and play video games so I don’t feel so bad for beating all your high scores. At least watch something on Netflix or something. If I have to ‘buckle down’ and ‘apply myself’ or whatever, then you have to live it up once in a while!”

          She gasped for breath at the end of her barrage of forceful self-care orders. Jeremy defensively held his hands in the air as if he were being arrested.

         “Okay, alright, point taken, I’ll ‘do something for myself for once’,” he mocked, “For the record, I was not going to talk to Leslie about work, okay? It was—uh, something else.”

         Jeremy stammered towards the end of his argument, realizing he’d made himself vulnerable to more interrogation.

          “Oh?” Madison’s interest was piqued, “Well, if not work, then what? I’m curious.”

           “None of your business, that’s what. Don’t worry about it.” he quickly shut her down.

           Madison raised her eyebrows at him.

          “Stop that.”

          She bounced them up and down.

          “Madison, stop.”

          She did not stop.

          “Listen, Jay, if need some advice or some backup —like a wingman, kinda— you could say that I’m the…”

         “Don’t—”

         “Ace up your sleeve,” she winked.

         “How would you be my wingman, if you’re ace?” he asked.

          “Dude, being a wingman is, like, the optimal position for asexuals! I don’t really want any part in this, but I am totally down to help the pilot—that’s you—score some brownie points with the… plane. Or the other pilot? Co-pilot? Or, no, they would become the co-pilot once you score enough brownie points. Hmmm, we got any brownies…?”

          “You’re getting lost in the metaphor.”

          “Yeah, but you get it!”

          “Sure.”

          “Look, all’s I’m sayin’ is that…ya got somethin’ going on. And if you need a little push to get that somethin’ in motion, I’m your man. You—your wingman, I mean. Not like, I am a man, just like, I’m your go-to, you know like—”

         “Yes, I get it,” he stopped her.

         “Okay, good.”

         “Great. Well, uh, thank you, Madison for that very… uncomfortable but generous offer. I will… uh, I’ll be in touch,” he said politely.

         “Hope to hear from you soon,” she winked and got up from the couch. She pulled a notebook and a pack of pencils out of the bag. The bag was still weighed down on the couch as she left it behind.

         “What are you doing?” he called after her.

          “If I want to do better, I have to prepare for it,” she said, “Figured it best to just get a new notebook for my chem class. My old one was all torn up and full of doodles. Gonna try catching up on a few chapters tonight.”

          “You know, I have extra notebooks. And pencils,” Jeremy said, “I could have just given you some, if you needed them.”

          “Yeah, I know. But it felt good to buy it myself. Reminds me that this is my stuff to deal with,” she said with an air of introspection. Jeremy smiled with respect at her initiative and nodded.

          “I’m gonna go study,” she said softly and turned into her room, “Oh, and I bought too much stuff at the store; finish off whatever is left in the bag, please! Love ya!” she yelled and slammed her bedroom door shut.

          He laughed under his breath.

         “Wild child,” he muttered.

          He stepped over to the bag on the couch and peered inside. Two pints of ice cream. One of strawberry cheesecake and one of vanilla caramel fudge. He took the latter to the freezer and opened up the former.

        “Love you too, Maddie,” he called to her room.

         He plopped himself down on the couch with the pint of ice cream and briefly was at a loss of what to do. Play games? Watch a movie? Talk to Leslie? Play piano? Too many options. Talking to Leslie sounded nice, though he felt that he’d done enough talking and thinking and feeling for one day. He picked up his phone.

 [JEREMY_LESLIE_CONVERSATION_START_20:08]

JB: Hey Leslie. Just finished talking to Madison about… many things. Overall, it went pretty well. I’m sure it’s not perfect, but it was a good talk to have. Thanks for being there to talk today. It really made a difference. Today has been very tiring, so I think I’m going to spend tonight trying to relax, since we’re not at the lab. I can tell you more about what happened tonight tomorrow, or soon, whenever we get the chance. You should take a break tonight, too. I think we both deserve it. Have a good night; see you tomorrow.

LG: Hey Jeremy! Glad to hear it all went well. Happy to help! Thanks for letting me know. Looking forward to hearing more about it, when you feel ready. You actually caught me while I was adding to our paper on the Google Drive. 😅 It is kinda late now, maybe I’ll call it a night and treat myself too! You have a good night, too. See you bright and early! 🤗

[JEREMY_LESLIE_CONVERSATION_END_20:12]

           Jeremy dropped his phone back on the couch, started up the Nintendo Switch and stretched out his legs on their coffee table. Madison wasn’t kidding when she said she’d beaten all of his high scores. And she unlocked two new characters, too. He really had been falling behind. He pressed the start button and could see himself grinning in the reflection of the TV while the screen was black as the game loaded.

Tonight, he would reclaim his rightful place as number one on the leader-board.

[kaleidodreams]

40 Questions - Meme for Fic Writers

Well, I only got one ask for this game, but I really wanted to answer more questions, so I’ve just decided to answer all of them!

1. Describe your comfort zone—a typical you-fic. - I don't know if I really have a "comfort zone"... Maybe family drama and dealing with characters' backstories?

2. Is there a trope you’ve yet to try your hand at, but really want to? - Hmm, fake dating seems like it would be pretty fun to try to write. I just wouldn't know which characters to use.

3. Is there a trope you wouldn’t touch with a ten foot pole? - The whole A/B/O thing... Yeah, no.

4. How many fic ideas are you nurturing right now? Care to share one of them? - Maybe five or six? And you can check out the answer to Question 37 if you want to know what most of them are.

5. Share one of your strengths. - People seem to like my original characters.

6. Share one of your weaknesses. - I'm not very good at description.

7. Share a snippet from one of your favorite pieces of prose you’ve written and explain why you’re proud of it. - This is from Ashes to Ashes:

However, the more time that passed, the more otou-sama lost himself in his work and the more distant we became. Our house, which had always been full of laughter and smiles when okaa-sama was alive and healthy, might as well have been a cemetery itself, the ghost of her memory haunting us who remained. Even as young as I was, I realized that otou-sama would never be able to truly recover from his grief as long as we stayed there, where the scent of okaa-sama's favorite perfume still seemed to linger in the air and every room remained a museum to the woman who once lived there because otou-sama couldn't bear the thought of putting her things away.

I just really like the "house is a cemetery" metaphor. (By the way, that story is written from Rei Hino’s point of view, if that wasn’t clear from the title.)

8. Share a snippet from one of your favorite dialogue scenes you’ve written and explain why you’re proud of it. - This is from To Build a Home:

"Take if off and put it back the way it was," he ordered, crossing his arms over his chest.

"But why? You always said my bed looked so cute."

"Yeah, your bed. But this is my bed, and I don't want it to look cute."

"Your bed?" She set down an ugly-cute hippo plush and arched an eyebrow. "Isn't it our bed now?"

He rubbed at his temple. "Yes, of course, but… You know what I mean." Mamoru pointed an accusing finger at a very familiar blanket – one that was too small to properly fit the queen-sized bed. "I am not having sex on a bed covered in bunnies and crescent moons!"

"That's never stopped you before. We did it all the time –"

"You're missing the point, Usako! We're adults now. Isn't it about time you outgrew all this cutesy crap?"

He regretted it as soon as the words left his mouth.

"Oh, I see. I can move into your oh-so-sophisticated apartment, just not my 'cutesy crap'." She grabbed an empty cardboard box from off the floor and started throwing her plush toys in it with a force that made Mamoru very glad she wasn't pummeling them at him. "If that's how you really feel, then maybe we shouldn't move in together at all!"

I like it because I tend to have trouble writing arguments, but this one turned out exactly how I wanted it to, and I can just picture the scene so vividly.

9. Which fic has been the hardest to write? - Hmm, probably Melting Ice? It took me about eight years -- I started writing it a couple of years before I actually started posting it -- to finally finish the whole thing. Sure, it’s a long fic (over 150,000 words), but in comparison, I managed to write Spirit of Fire, which is almost twice as long, in only two or three years (ignoring the side stories added later).

10. Which fic has been the easiest to write? - Probably my first fics because back then I wasn’t as self-conscious about my writing. But later in my career, I seem to recall Blood On His Hands being really easy and fast to write until I got to the last chapter. Honestly, I think the ending took me longer to figure out than the rest of the story!

11. Is writing your passion or just a fun hobby? - Both!

12. Is there an episode above all others that inspires you just a little bit more? - This is easiest to choose with Sailor Moon, so can I just say the entire SuperS season/Dream Arc? Obviously because of the Chibiusa/Helios OTP factor, but also because we learn about the Inners’ families and Elysion/the Golden Kingdom, both subjects that I love exploring.

13. What’s the best writing advice you’ve ever come across? - I learned about this from a post on Tumblr, but it’s REALLY helpful to run your story through a screen reader (I just use Google Translate). I think I’m pretty good at catching spelling and grammar errors, but one thing I have trouble with is missing words. Hearing the story read aloud instead of just reading it to myself and mentally filling in the blanks makes the skips so much easier to find. I also worry a lot about the flow of my writing, so I figure if it doesn’t sound too terrible being read by a computer, it’s probably not as awful as I think it is!

14. What’s the worst writing advice you’ve ever come across? - Probably the "avoid adverbs" rule. Sometimes using an adverb is the best choice!

15. If you could choose one of your fics to be filmed, which would you choose? - Oh, man, this is totally impossible to choose... Um, To Be By Your Side? I really don't know.

16. If you only could write one pairing for the rest of your life, which pairing would it be? - If I had to, I would no doubt pick Chibiusa/Helios, but I’m really glad I don’t! I enjoy being able to write a variety of couples and imagine I would get bored fairly quick if I was limited to just writing one OTP forever, as much as I may love them.

17. Do you write your story from start to finish, or do you write the scenes out of order? - It depends on the story, but most of the time it’s out of order, which is frankly annoying, but it seems to work for me.

18. Do you use any tools, like worksheets or outlines? - Not really, unless you count screenwriting and research tools.

19. Stephen King once said that his muse is a man who lives in the basement. Do you have a muse? - Haha, I remember when I first started writing fanfiction as a teenager, there were four characters I considered my muses: Helios (obs!), Shigure from Fruits Basket (who is a writer himself), Touya from Card Captor Sakura, and Tooya from Ceres: Celestial Legend (not sure why, though, since I never wrote for Ceres). I guess I would still consider Helios my muse?

20. Describe your perfect writing conditions. - At my desk in my bedroom, with the room at a comfortable temperature and absolute quiet.

21. How many times do you usually revise your fic/chapter before posting? - I tend to edit while I write, which I know isn’t generally considered the best way to do things, but it works for me. So I can’t really answer this question definitively.

22. Choose a passage from one of your earlier fics and edit it into your current writing style. (Person sending the ask is free to make suggestions). (Skipping this one unless someone wants to make a suggestion for a passage.)

23. If you were to revise one of your older fics from start to finish, which would it be and why? - Spirit of Fire, because while I love the story and the characters, I think it could be better written, especially the earlier chapters.

24. Have you ever deleted one of your published fics? - I did take down a first chapter of a planned multi-part and reworked it into a one-shot when I decided I didn’t want to write the rest of it, if that counts. (The Legend, if you’re interested.) Otherwise, no.

25. What do you look for in a beta? - Basically someone who wants to beta for me. *laughs* Like I said before, I consider myself pretty good at catching spelling and grammar goofs, so I don't feel like I really need a beta, but if someone offers, it doesn't hurt to have a second pair of eyes!

26. Do you beta yourself? If so, what kind of beta are you? - I've done so in the past, and if somebody asks me, I would probably be willing to do it again. I would say I focus mainly on spelling/grammar, occasionally making suggestions or asking questions if something seems off (like a character feels OOC or something).

27. How do you feel about collaborations? - I've never really been a part of one, so I don't have much of an opinion. If you're good friends, it seems like it would be a lot of fun, but maybe a bit difficult if you have different styles.

28. Share three of your favorite fic writers and why you like them so much. - his lordship Chaos, Allekha, and commas_and_ampersands 

29. If you could write the sequel (or prequel) to any fic out there not written by yourself, which would you choose? - I honestly can’t think of any. I have enough sequels and prequels of my own stuff to write! *laughs*

30. Do you accept prompts? - Not unless I’m doing a drabble game, which I haven’t done in years, or I’m taking part of some writing challenge. Just random prompts, though? No. I like to write what I want to write.

31. Do you take liberties with canon or are you very strict about your fic being canon compliant? - I’d say I’m middle-of-the-road between the two, closer to being strict about being canon compliant.

32. How do you feel about smut? - Despite being asexual, I’m a fan!

33. How do you feel about crack? - A lot of it is really stupid, but with the right writer and idea, crack can be brilliantly funny. I usually only read it on recommendation, though.

34. What are your thoughts on non-con and dub-con? - It’s not something I go looking for as a reader, but I don’t mind if I come across it and it’s handled well. I’ve written some dub-con myself, mostly in the form of drunk sex, but also some incidents involving magic. Overall, though, I’m really a HUGE fan of consent when it comes to sex scenes. Consent is sexy!

35. Would you ever kill off a canon character? - Yes, of course. Done it before and I’ll probably do it again!

36. Which is your favorite site to post fic? - I like AO3 and FF.net equally well.

37.Talk about your current wips.

Friends With Benefits (Kaleido Star) - This is the only WIP I’m actively posting. It’s a sequel to Blood On His Hands, and it’s about Layla and Yuri engaging in a, well, “friends with benefits” arrangement, leading to complications when they fall in love. 

The Bonds We Choose (Yuri!! On Ice) - A sequel to It’s Complicated, taking place about four years later. Yuri, Otabek, and Mila have settled into their unusual relationship -- Yuri and Otabek are queerplatonic partners while Otabek is also dating/living with Mila -- when a drunken mistake at the Olympics changes their lives forever.

Metamophosis (Sailor Moon) - This is kinda a prequel to To Be By Your Side, telling the story of how Helios became priest of Elysion.

Stolen Dreams (Sailor Moon) - Ha, this is the only non-sequel/prequel story on the list! But it’s about an incubus who plans to get revenge on Helios by seducing a grown-up Chibi-Usa, who’s under a lot of stress due to her upcoming college entrance exams.

38. Talk about a review that made your day. - I was really happy when @floraone favorited and wrote a review for my Sailor Moon Smutember entry, Head of the Class. Knowing that someone like her, who IMO writes the BEST sex scenes I’ve ever read, enjoyed it... Well, like the question said, it really made my day! I also was pleasantly surprised to get any reviews at all for my last two YOI fics, Lonely Hearts and No Risk, No Reward, since Minako/Celestino and Sara/Emil are both extremely rare pairs. I seriously didn’t think anybody would read them, so I was thrilled with the reviews I got.

39. Do you ever get rude reviews and how do you deal with them? - Occasionally, and I just ignore them.

40. Write an alternative ending to [insert fic title] (or just the summary of one). (Again, skipping, unless someone wants to suggest a story.)

[invisiblenotbroken]

Gas Lighting: Searching For Chronic Illness Diagnosis in American Healthcare System (Its' funnier than it sounds and just as frustrating)

Did I get lucky! I got to make a new friend. I hope you enjoy listening to Jen. She is an amazing poet and at the end of the interview you can hear two very powerful poems. She is hilarious and strong. She has been dealing with being sick and frail even though she has made massive changes (loosing 100lbs) and has just started in on her 40's. We talk about parenting with a chronic illness, the American healthcare system (buckle up its' about to get political), the importance of art when you can't get out of bed, and how important friendships are especially when you are dealing with chronic invisible illness. 

Ms. T's Answers {More Bad Ass Than Mr. T}

Jen Toal (with her amazing poetry she did not Age 40

Conditions

PTSD, Chronic Pain, Extensive nerve injury  nerve injuries in both arms, Not Quite Fibromyalgia (is that a thing?), planters fasciitis, Anxiety/Depression

(...Hang on, maybe Ehlers-Danlos?? Amazing the things you can learn doing podcast interviews...) After watching Jen through the interview I was impressed at all of the crazy shapes she was making while stretching. She also has the swan deformity and so many other symptoms of the disorder I have.

I can remember school officials started stepping in around middle school to try to help Mom and I address my symptoms. They couldn't find much obviously wrong with me, except for some scoliosis. In high school I was given special locker accommodations each year to try to help reduce the load on my body and as an eighteen year old, our family doctor explained to me that I was experiencing the same daily pain as most eighty year olds. This was before the injuries of my twenties and thirties.

I didn't get far working with that doc because growing up means losing access to health care in our country. 

 In my early twenties I was working in tech support and saving for further college when all the nerves on both my arms were blown out by repetitive stress from typing. I spent the next several years in surgery and disabled. I got LOTS of doctor attention, but only on the subject of my work injuries. They were there to repair me from what they had done, not heal me overall. 

 The worst part of those years was being unable to draw. 

 In my thirties I found reasons to stop giving up on my life, most notably my husband, John, and our sweet child. John and I changed so many of our daily habits that together we lost three hundred pounds. 

https://www.facebook.com/shapeshifterconfessions/

 Losing 45% of my pre pregnancy body weight has done amazing things for my health, but it's not the miracle cure it *looks* like from the outside. For one thing, jumping up out of my sick bed to chase my snugly little kettle bell around gave me a wicked case of Plantar Fasiitis. It's a remarkably painful addition to my dappling of symptoms, but was acceptable collateral damage to me.

 1. Who were you before your illness became debilitating?

A child. 

 2. Is there anything you would do if you were not sick? 

There are so many things. I would have so much more of a career. I would travel. I would go out in the evenings and be around people. I would make so much more art. 

 3. What should other people know about our daily life?

That it's super easy for them to forget, but it's always there, reminding me. That it's exhausting to manage pain.

 4. What would make living and moving in the world easier for you?

Single Payer Healthcare and Universal Basic Income. 

 In my twenties I spent a lot of time with people who liked to play, "What if we won the lottery??" My answers always began with access to doctors and therapists.

 5. Life hacks?

Tennis balls are my latest favorite backpack staple. I sit and lean on them for point massage. They are especially magical for car trips, which have always been rugged for me.

My backpack itself is my favorite tool, but like many medications that come with side effects, the magic bag does sometimes get ridiculously heavy.

 6. Support from family or friends?

I married really well. My husband is marvelously supportive and encouraging. My mother would help more if she were closer. 

Friend community cares from afar, but we are all spread so perilously thin...

I saw this art show with a display that said, "We are living in an era that is testing the limits of everyone's compassion." I worry about all of us. Times are tough, and getting tougher, and I don't feel like my communities have the space to hold me up. Not because they don't care, but because they're fighting so hard to keep themselves going.

 7. Do you find that people do not believe you are sick because of your appearance? How has this affected you positive or negative?

Yes. All the time. It's horrible. I spend a bunch of time disappointing the humans around me because I look so healthy, especially after my weight loss, but I am still frustratingly limited.

 8. How has this affected your relationships?

It torpedoes them sometimes. On the other hand, it can allow for deep bonding when we understand each other.

 9. What are you afraid to tell even the people closest to you?

How bad the pain is. How pervasive it is. How scared I am of the future.

 10. Does the fact that your disease is invisible change how healthcare professionals treat you?

Yes. They often disbelieve me. I've been accused of being drug seeking. Which is pretty funny, given how much time John spends trying to convince me to take something.

 11. Best coping mechanism?

Diffuse awareness. Forgetting. Drawing.

 12. Favorite swear word?

John says if hell counts, it's hell. Lol

I have a hard time picking. Shit, fuuuuuuuuuuuuuck, godsdammit.

 13. What are you the most fearful of and what are you the most hopeful for in the future?

I'm terrified that I'll be unable to support my family in the ways they need me. I'm hopeful about the ways I have learned over the years that people make their livings with skills I totally retain access to, even as my spacesuit gets quietly wonkier...

Cardboard Decades

 when i say ricky was my best friend, what i mean is 

he was my first consensual sexual partner

i turned 5 while mom and i lived in his mother's house

he was 6

 i once pulled his little brother, fallen-comrade-style, 

across train tracks in the very nick

wouldn't know for decades how scared i should've been

 they taught me prank calling and ladybug sailing 

how to be kind to the kind doberman 

and keep my dolls far away from the angry one

 ricky and i were softness and exploration 

in an already cruel and confusing world

  i remember being 8 or so 

sun-drenched in the back of my grandmother's very nice car

i wouldn’t know for decades about love languages 

but i knew in california i was given things, but few hugs

and in texas, hugs, but few things

 i preferred hugs

 but it was well known that "daddy warbucks" 

and family had more money than made any sense

and they didn't get as much time to be affectionate

so it made sense

that they'd want me to have touchstones of affection

when i went back to my mother's wars

 how could they know?

 mom would send them letters, 

as she says, "full of things we never did. 

places we were never going to be."

 it wasn't just that we couldn't get above the poverty line

 i wouldn’t know for decades the term “human trafficking” 

 my poor mother.

 i also hadn't learned the different ways a car can sit 

that day i was walking home

with ricky

mom pulled over

countenance confusing

told me only i could get in

drove away

before telling me we'd never go back

 i would never say goodbye

 i wouldn’t know for decades

that the reason no one understands 

what i mean when i say 

we “moved a lot” when i was a kid 

is because i don't understand 

what i should be saying 

is we were homeless 

for more of my childhood

than i had realized.

 only way to explain 

we have to move whenever someone gets mad

 or

 my doll protects me from the mean girl

i share a bed with 

 or

 we take my most evil stepdad back

eleven times

 he's charming

and when he's around churches don't have to bring us things

 or

 the motels. national parks. so many places 

i stop calling where i sleep anything other than "the house"

know if i learn the path from house to grocery, it’s probably time to go

 try out different versions of my name in different schools

  sometimes compassion is a shovel to the gut

often my mother wakes up screaming

 i’ll never know how many trains she pulled us from the teeth of.

 only reluctantly came to see the damage of 

rootlessness on a childhood

 perpetual motion was our only way of survival. 

 i ran into ricky a couple years later

awkward amongst other kids

eons away from the life we had shared

 i’ve been trying to shift my relationship with cardboard

dismantling all my boxes

learning to build some belief

 i might just get to stay

 advice i am giving myself

upon meeting new soul mates

 stand solidly 

if you are able

hold your form fluid 

brace for beauty

 and the way it always 

knocks you over

 notice press of globe

up through soles

 marvel at the moments experience

and universal 

shake hands

 trade knees

 compare the roads you have run

the trees you jumped out of

the places your jeans have worn through

 skip right past groins and sex

this isn't that poem

 and connection

can be better

for being less obvious

 instead

press your belly buttons together

a meeting of absences

 shared space to frame things

 frame things

redo this if it

feels more truthful

  consider the strengths of your mat

let the space placed around

your best work

have its own things to say

 say things

out loud

 experience is meant to be shared

 and no one needs your 

perspective

more than a soul mate

 trade scars stories 

(tattoos totally count)

 tell each other tales of the ways 

the world hasn't ended

even if it left a mark

 breathe

 feel belly press belly

laugh

 you've been sucking down discord

all day

 like too little sleep

too much wireless

and a fundamental disconnect

from how our species evolved

to thrive

 agree to thrive anyway

 slice out space for each other

in the places you

forget to feel shame 

 allow yourself

and each other

forgiveness

  for everything you’ve ever believed was wrong with you.

 there’s never been anything wrong with you.

except not knowing there was nothing wrong with you.

 forgive yourself 

for lying to yourself

in order to stay small

 it’s okay to not be everything

 we are all of us everything together

and we forget we don’t have to 

do it alone

 give up the notion 

you may somehow 

be on the same page

 you’ve only just collided 

from across the cosmos

 the particular constellation 

of harmonic convergences 

your empty spaces 

express

as you pass through each other

 are not the same

as being the same

 we are stronger for our differences

 befuddling though they be

 decide this is the game

and that you are always winning.

 because you are.