#am i gonna start treating this as an actual blog and make a sideblog for reblogs? who knows! certainly not me; stay tuned for the story!
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miallurk · 11 months ago
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In these days i realized i like art and writing and creating and shopping and taking walks and talking to people and cleaning and helping and studying and doing things but i'm just. too stressed, tired and burned out to do them. How great!
#i am losing my sanity day by day#drowning myself in the nearby lake seems better and better every day#why am i even writing this i have literally no mutuals or even people who'd care about#don't mind me crying myself to sleep haha#ooooh look at this pathetic baby. sitting in their little bed crying stupid tears. i should at least get tissues now while my crying isn't#fuck history fuck school and fuck me i quess#am i gonna start treating this as an actual blog and make a sideblog for reblogs? who knows! certainly not me; stay tuned for the story!#i'm gonna go and just let it all out into a pillow#vent ig#my mom is blasting holiday music in the other room lol#nice to have a whatever the fuck im having while “jingle bells” plays#at least i'm not hearing mariah carey ig#anyway i've probably hadn't been taking care of myself lately it has been worse despite me promoting it to everyone who needs#when i vented last time and it wasn't taken seriously so woop#anyway imma go try to calm myself and back to my notes i go#please gods what did i do to deserve thi s shit. fuck you#i hate it here i really do. i hate when these people talk to me i hate them. i at least can be sorta accquaitances with one but they just.#all stare and laugh? i actually can't. like i'm some fucking clown and laughing stock. just kill me at this point. i have been enduring this#for YEARS and suddenly i'm being a little bitch about it?? what the fuck. why am i so mushy all of a sudden. being shown an ounce of respect#and care made me expect it more? fuck#i'm just setting myself up for failure. i am just a giant loser and failure of a person.#everything seems so fucking hard. and pointless. i am tearing my rotten little heart apart with this. i am once again grieving things#long ago and things i never had. my everything has to be pleasing to an outsider#my value is my suffering. am i breaking enough? is this beautiful to look at#at my self destruction? i hate myself. i treat others so cruelly. i am a horrible fucking person.#my problems are not their burden - i forced it on them. wept like a baby because she left me. and what happened in the end? my paranoia got#to me. i left them. i fucking. i fid the thing i was afraid of being done to me.#this is showing so many issues.#so many things wrong with me. i shouldn't even be alive by this point - i wasn't supposed to survive past 12#i am being forced to do this every day. someone please just end my fu king suffering
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defiledtomb · 2 years ago
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Ouroboros: Progress
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I haven't written one of these in forever, so it's slightly clunky, but I aim to have one of these out at least every quarter, if not monthly. Let's dive into it! Spoiler warning for the sneak peeks at the bottom.
What I got done since last month:
After the update drop, I took some time off the main story to prevent the budding burnout. I’m sure you are well aware of my malaise by now- it's a constant effort to stay on the tightrope.
I don't think I brought it up explicitly but when I started writing Ouroboros it was me riding the high of becoming a person again right after years long sick leave and battle with mental health, meaning that while I am absolutely thrilled that I'm getting so much out of life again, that fragile part of me still lives on and I have to take care not to let it get the best of me, and that means constant vigilance and self-compassion. Writing a project this big could easily be a full time job on its own, but I also have to account for going back to the workforce after being gone for so long. It's tough! irl work/life keeps amping up and will continue to eat my energy. Though, come summer, I might actually have some good news on my schedule and how my writing will fit into that. Fingers crossed.
Otherwise I have really enjoyed interacting and goofing around with you on tumblr again, and I’ve had a blast just reading and playing games. It was a very welcomed break. I still got a lot done regarding Ouroboros:
- Got started on all the short stories you voted on, and built the framework of code for how stories will be unlocked as you progress the story. 
- I got some much needed help with setting up a side-blog for writing content only; it’s getting there! Soon Ouro will have its own space.
- I added about 3k words to the next chunk of act 1. A drop in the ocean, but progress is progress. 
- I started sneak-writing on the next act and specifically, the underwater/caving chapter. I am so excited for it! Besides writing and hiking, diving and caving are core parts of my interests. (Didn't I once say that Ouro is disgustingly self indulgent? x] Because it sure is.) 
What’s next:
I am still taking it slow, since most of act 1 pt2 is already written  (60k words ish), and I have some responsibilities I’m gonna need to devote my time to. My goals for February are leading up to Ouro’s first anniversary, so I want to prepare something fun for us to enjoy! If it will be a chunk of update or something else remains to be decided. On the 8th of March we ride.
My priorities for February are:
-having fun with the short stories
-get the sideblog up and running with a new FAQ and character pages, and a new intro post.
-solidify the code and scene transitions for the next update 
- (stretch goal) edit/rewrite/add to the unhinged mess that the next update still is 
 Re: bug reports
Thankfully, last update was relatively bug free, but there are still a few reports sitting in my inbox waiting for changes, mainly
-the egregious oversight of having id's romance scenes appearing although the hunter is committed to L/not in the poly. More on that here.
-the questions with Iontif cutting off short in one path
-a section of the flashback with wrong pronouns + other pronoun variables not displaying correctly (the bane of my existence!!)
Thank you to those who reported these, I always note them down if I don't fix them directly. The reason why I am almost always tardy on bug fixes is because I'm treating this as a first draft that will be rewritten; it makes little sense to dedicate so much time to fixing things that will need to be fixed again. I do them when I have little else I want/have to do. I'm sorry! Triaging problem areas is essential to keeping this show going. I hope that it isn't too invasive to have a few errors in the scenes; rest assured that they will get fixed (eventually 🤡)
Re: save system
Something that has really bothered me lately, is thinking about CoG's obstinate refusal to implement save systems. I absolutely won't release Ouroboros without one, as with how much variation goes into the story (and knowing from first-hand experience playing large games, that one miss-click (or that horrendous bug that chooses options for you if you even look at it wrong) will have you go down a path you didn’t want, or you are faced with starting over, which sometimes leads to such fatigue that you just…stop playing.) it feels like shooting yourself in the foot to not have one. And worse, it feels plain cruel to subject the reader to that. There isn’t any possible way to fit every nuance of a choice into the box-text, or to imply a delayed outcome as a result of making a choice that seems very “innocent” at first glance.
So I stand before a really difficult decision; either code a save system from the bottom up, and I would have to do that sooner rather than later, or port the game to twine which brings its own bundle of problems. Right now I honestly no idea what I want to do, and I have to admit that it fuels a bit of writer's block as I feel locked in place until I come to a decision. Heurgh.
Now for the fun part. Sneak peeks!
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I wont share the latter parts as they are still... Unhinged. But the next update isn't just romance, its weapons and insidious cults and fighting, too.  More on that, later.
Thanks for your support, your kind words and for sharing your journey in Ouro. It means the world to me. I’m serious!
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inphront · 2 years ago
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hi! as one of your local canadian followers I’m curious about your writing project. I’d love to hear more about it if you don’t mind sharing! no worries if not though ✌️
oh i was so hoping someone would ask me about this thank you you’re an angel. this story popped into my head like literally ten hours ago and i’m already thinking about making a whole ass sideblog for it. i am rotating it sosofast in my brain. anyway it follows Delta Powell-Ward, the daughter of a very shitty political leader campaigning to be president of Life (Life being a country). Unbeknownst to her family, Delta spends her spare time smuggling refugees across the border between Life and the neighboring nation of Death— Life and Death have been in the midst of a trade war for a hot moment that will become an all-out *actual* war any day now, and the people of Death (or just the dead, as they’re called) are not resourced for this in the slightest. Delta is one of the only people she knows with the know-how to travel mostly uninhibited between the nations.
anyway, in a completely unhinged attempt to drive the metaphor home, i’ve decided Life and Death aren’t the only domains in this setting: there is also Canada. i initially thought of this because i found the concept fucking hilarious, but it has immediately started doing obscene amounts of thematic heavy lifting. the narrative is, at least for the first while, going to treat Canada similarly to how the US tends to treat Canada, which is to say it will be largely ignored unless it’s funny (“have you always been alive?” “no, actually, i was born in Canada”), even though the implications of Canada being part of this universe like completely change the entire way the story reads. eventually the existence of Canada will end up as kind of a springboard for exploring the in-universe idea that life and death aren’t necessarily a strict binary and the overarching *out-* of-universe theme that neither is quite as big a deal as society seems to think they are.
i could go a lot more in-depth about my plans for all three nations symbolically and also for Delta as a character, and like. i probably will either on this blog or on a new one, but. yeah that’s the origin of “not alive not dead but a secret third thing (canadian).” i am gonna hyperfixate like hell.
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drawnaghht · 2 years ago
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So! I think I've figured out how to tag both the leosagi and leochi ships.
Since this is mainly a BLOG and not just a random social media page, it will be easier for me to organize the tags as if this were a more traditional blogging site. So I will be trying to keep the tags as few and as relevant as possible.
I'll be mainly using YuiNardo / yuinardo from now on for just the Yuichi Usagi/rottmnt Leo ship, and stuff like my own fanart. it's specifically "show x show" for me (Yuichi x Nardo, bc those are their unique names in their respective shows xD) and not some of the fan OC stuff
leosagi for the general 2003 Miyamoto Usagi/Leonardo ship but maybe also i.e. crossovers where ppl draw all the versions?
katanashipping also for 2003 leosagi? like I guess I'll decide based on how specific it gets (edit 1.05.23) definitely about 2003 leosagi, since that's where it originated from
I'll use 2003 leosagi when it gets more specific i.e. fanfic recs or longform comics which I wanna find later
Rise Leosagi for the 2018 versions that people have made their own, based on the Miyamoto/Leo ship (lol this might be difficult to retag, cuz I'm not sure what I've tagged with what anymore)
Sliderbunny for people's own versions of rottmnt Leo and (both romantic and platonic ships, cuz there aren't as many posts for this anymore)
and I guess Leochi for something more specific? like that's been the tag now for Leo/Yuichi but I'm not sure where it started from so idk how to use it but I guess I'll find out when I see more stuff in the tag lol. might use it just for reblogs/fanart but I’ll see
I can't remember any other names so those are it for now. I probably won’t use the longer names like Yuichi x Leo, Miyamoto x Leonardo etc just bc I find it tedious to use that many spaces in tags when tagging can be sorta annoying to do on mobile and then fix later on PC. I’m more of a “tag and go” kind of person and I like my tags to be easy to write.
like im sorry I write so much (I don't enjoy writing lenghty things) but i legit need to tag like an oldschool blog occasionally bc I ENJOY finding stuff on my own blog later. it just makes sense! it is so confusing going thru multiple tags for the same thing when it could have a singular tag. or a single new tag for a specific use. and I've forgotten to do that after using social media so much for so long lol
anyway this isn't that important i am just chillin and remembered that I thought of this and needed to post it so I wouldn't forget.
more related random thoughts under the cut!
Thinking of that, I guess the tag clogging starts to make sense, considering how much people are more used to the "tag clouds" popularized by twitter and instagram and social-media-like sites before those (the sites inbetween blogging and web 2.0, maybe, but didn't really use those as much so I don't remember either) + the confusion about what the og leosagi was (+ maybe general tmnt fandom confusion over various versions of media for the franchise)
lol it's gonna take a bit long but I'll reorganize the blog more once I have a bit of time on the side from other stuff. now it feels nice that this blog isn't actually that big yet. I don't use sideblogs very long usually and it's my first time actually making anything TMNT related for this long, so it'll be interesting seeing where this blog will go in general. like how it's probably been subtle that while this userhandle/blog started as a tMNT sideblog, I actually have started blogging more about Usagi Chronicles now bc I like the show. and idk what else I'll post if I have time but I will probs keep it as a reblog blog anyways!
I try not to write long blog posts on tumblr anymore but I think the whole "leosagi-leochi tag clogging" point brought up in the "Why do we ship leosagi" video is also just a good point abt how we don't really treat blogs like blogs anymore. every sort of behaviour online has become so influenced by the want to make it trend or have it at least be read at all ("social media" aspect of online behavior now) that even stuff like ao3, a fanfic site, will have tags like "AO3 algothithm, PLEASE be nice to me" when sites like that don't even HAVE algorhithms. it's interesting to think about but also a bit sad on the side because that "tag clouding" does seem to be the only way for some works to become noticed on the above-mentioned actual social media sites. this almost makes me miss sites like deviantart and blogger because things always felt more centralized and easy to find vs twitter, insta or occasionally even tumblr.
ANYWAY
lol all this just to organize my thoughts on ship tags
if you've read this far, lemme know if there are any other tags ppl use? or are there any other types of tagging conventions we should bring back i.e. mashing the names together?
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lilietsblog · 2 years ago
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hi, i noticed you reblogged my post highlighting my tags talking about how i don't appreciate likes, specifically saying something to the affect of "artists do appreciate likes" and i'd like to clear something up, I Am An Artist, My Posts Don't Often Get Reblogged and so i'm Not Getting New Eyes On My Posts and i'm Getting Discouraged‚ like why should i post art if nobody's gonna see it?
i don't really care for likes, all a like is to me is a "hey i saw your post! not gonna say anything about it, just saw it!" and its so easy to do with double tap to like, if i could turn them off on my posts i would, i promise you that. you literally highlighted my tags and said the opposite about People Like Me, basically about Me, which is just an absurd thing to do
also, did you see what blog of mine you were reblogging from? my sideblog for reblogging things to, because my main is for my art, other things "wouldn't match that wallpaper" so i put them on a dedicated blog so i can add tags and interact more without just liking posts, because i've been on the other side of getting like 11k likes or whatever and 5k reblogs‚ meaning i got hardly any feedback and people are now seeing it through the top posts of #long furby or whatever (not to mention that 5k reblogs started with a staff member reblogging it to the radar? so like, reblogs can really do some work)
i know its a bad idea to interact with discourse, especially when its something i could just block you for, i mean i'd really rather not talk to a like truther, but i'd like to tell you these things so you get a perspective of where i was coming from with those tags‚ and so you reconsider your argument against them
i hope you have a nice day‚ feel free to not answer this ask if it doesn't match your wallpaper, please stop telling artists what they should think
here's an idea for you too, turn off double tap to like, try to only interact with posts Intentionally, treat a day like you only have 100 likes or something, make a like matter, show us artists we're wrong
First, I'm not on mobile, "double tap for like" is not a thing in the browser. And I do interact with posts intentionally - if I don't like the post I don't put "like" on it, I just like the overwhelming majority of what's on my dash and I'm always happy to see (almost) any art that people on here actually made. I like it! Quite intentionally! It all matters to me! Like if I don't have the headspace to consider the post I don't - don’t scroll further I get off tumblr and go do something else
I didn't actually see what blog of yours I was reblogging from, no, I don't normally look at those things /sideglare into the "dont reblog from terfs" discourse/
And no, likes don't just mean "I saw your post". Yes, it's easy to put them, but people still choose to. They mean "I saw your post and I am glad I did and I want to see more of these". Literally tumblr has actual algorithms that determine things based on likes - whether to show something in a tag, the "based on your likes" recommendation thing.
Also..
>I Am An Artist, My Posts Don't Often Get Reblogged and so i'm Not Getting New Eyes On My Posts and i'm Getting Discouraged‚ like why should i post art if nobody's gonna see it?
so...
>all a like is to me is a "hey i saw your post!
people. seeing your posts. which is what you're saying you want. ???
Anyway, the real reason I'm wading into this discourse is that arguments like yours ARE MAKING PEOPLE STOP LIKING ART. Engaging with it at all in any way. Instead of going "ooh I should go through this blog and like this person's art, make their day, ooh look this picture is cool enough I want to reblog it!" people just go "artists are touchy, better not go on this dude's blog at all lest I accidentally like something"
like... not just yours. You're not the only person losing out on potential reblogs here. Everyone is. This campaign is driving art appreciators away, period.
Oh, and maintaining a sideblog is not something you can expect from other people as a mandatory obligation. It's not tumblr tax to be obligated to have a sideblog. Nor to blog anything at all. "Hey, if you don't post anything people are going to think you're a bot" =/= "hey, if you don't post anything you're evil and don't belong here".
---
P.S. If I did do that? If I did limit myself to 100 likes per day for ONLY STUFF THAT REALLY MATTERS?
You would have no way of knowing that, would you? Even if the likes I gave your art were from my Precious 100 Likes Supply, you would still be upset by them?
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tickle-bugs · 3 years ago
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I had two people ask for some advice on starting up/running a blog, so I thought I’d make a little post for anyone else looking for advice! There’s no one right way to run a blog and I am by no means an expert. This is just a compilation of some of the things I’ve learned :) 
Feel free to add advice to this!
- The first thing is something I cannot stress enough. Write for yourself first. You will be absolutely miserable if you’re only writing for attention. I’m not saying it’s easy, but it’s so incredibly important. If you don’t like a prompt, fandom, or scenario? You don’t have to write for it! A personal example: I’m a theatre kid and total musical nerd. I could probably write some compelling Dear Evan Hansen or Hamilton headcanons if I wanted to, but I don’t. That’s fine! I’m allowed to say I won’t write for it and deny prompts/requests for those fandoms. 
- Set boundaries. This is a very mixed community with all sorts of creators and participants with hands in different baskets. Don’t want minors to interact? Put minors DNI in your bio. SFW only? Put it in the bio. No RP? Bio. This goes for private conversations/askbox/other interactions as well. If someone comes into your askbox/dms and says something that makes you uncomfy, shut it down. 
- My advice is more geared towards writing than art or video, but I suppose you could apply this advice as well. Make what makes you happy! If you’re only in one fandom, feel free to stay there and make content for it. Multi-fandom? Excellent! Completely non-fandom? Epic! Make the content that you want to see and the content that makes you happy to create, especially if you’re in a more niche fandom/area. 
- Organization. ...I’ll admit this one is more of a personal pet peeve than something urgent, but it is something that people positively respond to. If you have some sort of consistency/organization to your blog, it’ll make it easier and more enjoyable for people to navigate. Make a fandom list/indicate your fandoms somehow (mostly for prompt purposes. people can’t read your mind, so it’s important to tell them what you will write for and what you won’t, however you want to do that)! 
Make a masterpost/link your fic tag! Use a fic tag of some kind. Give your fics summaries and leave a little bit of the fic above the ‘read more’ to intrigue folks (look at #my fics and my masterpost for basic examples of how I do this, if you need!). Use read mores. Please use read mores (if you can, idk if they’re on mobile. regardless no one wants to encounter a three thousand word block of text on their dash). (No seriously though, organize your blog, even if it’s super simple. literally just a ‘mine’ or ‘my fics’ or ‘[pseud] writes’ and a fandom tag. It’ll make it easier for people to find your stuff and support you)
- Practice general internetiquette. Please remember that the people in this community are real people with feelings, boundaries, and lives outside of the blog that they run. Be genuine and people will respond to you! Don’t manipulate people into likes/reblogs/attention. No one wants to be on the other end of that. Being in this community isn’t a transaction or a mosh pit, it’s an experience.  
- Be ever-so-liberal with the block button. Someone’s user makes you uncomfortable? They give you bad vibes? They’re a minor/older than you and you don’t want them interacting with your content? You don’t wanna see their blog for some reason? Block em. This goes for anons too. That’s what the button is for. Don’t feel guilty for using it. Use it. 
- How you write is 100% a personal choice and not really something that I can give advice on, but embrace your style! take prompts if you want, or don’t. Write oneshots, series, drabbles, or novels. Write romantic, or don’t. Etc. Change things up if you feel like it. Do what you want. Your blog, your style, your rules. 
- Numbers matter. Don’t let them define you. This is a bit of a harder one to explain, but I will try. I often say that I don’t care about numbers, and I really don’t, but that’s not to say that I don’t see them and they have zero effect on me. I absolutely notice and am bummed if a fic doesn’t get notes, or at least the notes that I was expecting. That is entirely normal and okay to experience. What isn’t okay, though, is creating for the sake of getting notes/numbers/attention (re: write for yourself first, internetiquette). If you find yourself relying on tumblr for gratification and a reward, I implore you to take a break. I’m not your therapist or your parent, I’m not gonna tell you what to do, but when you make things only for the sake of notes, people notice. Celebrate your milestones. Know that it’s okay to be bummed about low notes/celebrate getting plenty. Just make sure that you don’t depend on the numbers for your happiness, or you will be miserable.
- You’re (probably) doing this for free. You are providing people content: a service. Produce as much or as little as you’re comfy with, but always remember that. No one is entitled to what you make. If someone asks you for headcanons, sends a prompt when prompts are closed, etc, and you don’t feel like fulfilling it? You have no obligation to do that. Getting commissioned is another story entirely, but as long as you’re making free content, you have zero obligation to do anything for anyone and certainly no time constraints. It can take me months to finish prompts, and that’s okay. I do them when I do them and I fill them how I want to. If my prompts are closed, I deny new ones until I’m ready to accept them. Make yourself happy first.
- How you interact with others is up to you! It’s generally considered good practice to like/reblog your mutuals fics/art, but this is not necessarily a hard and fast rule. I veeeeeery rarely reblog fics for fandoms that I’m not in, even from my mutuals. What you can do to show your support (and you should try and show support somehow. No one is in competition. Everyone’s in your boat, whether they have no followers or 1k) is send an ask/reply to the post/leave tags to let the author know you liked it. Like the fic and don’t reblog it, if you don’t want to. Just make sure you show your mutuals (and others in general!) roughly the same support they show you, however you decide to do that. Treat others how you want to be treated, as cheesy as it sounds :)
- Don’t repost content that isn’t yours without express permission from the original creator, and credit them appropriately. If you see a cute piece of tickle art and the artist doesn’t want it reposted? Don’t repost it. Don’t post fics/videos/gifs that aren’t yours (obviously if it’s like a scene from a movie/a clip on youtube that’s different, but don’t take credit for things you didn’t make, including ideas). Can’t tell you how frustrating it is to have work stolen from you. Don’t be that person. ‘Credit to original artist’ and ‘credit unknown’ is total bullshit btw. Link/tag the creator in the original post and make it clear you don’t own the content. Best practice is to ask the original creator if they’re okay with reposting, work inspired by or connected to theirs, etc. This goes doubly for saving/downloading someone’s fics. 
- It is not illegal for a minor to have normal, nonsexual, healthy friendships with people older than them. There’s a weird attitude that minors have nothing of value to offer adults besides a relationship/sex, which is...not true? Minors are thinking, living human beings with feelings, thoughts, and opinions. You can talk to them like normal people, because they are. Just obviously don’t talk about/introduce sex or endanger them. Minors don’t bring up sex/activities you’re underage for with an adult. IDK this isn’t a seminar just...don’t be weird. Adults can offer great life experience, support systems, and the basic joys and needs of human connection. Minors can too. Mind your business unless someone’s actually in danger. The next point is a caveat, though: 
- If you’re a minor, don’t interact with NSFW blogs/blogs with ‘Minors DNI’, NSFW blogs don’t interact with minors, etc etc. Not your parent or whatever but this is pretty common sense and it’s for everyone’s safety, but especially the NSFW person. internettiquette!
- If you use your TK blog as a side blog (meaning you have another blog as your main blog, not two separate accounts) and don’t want your main exposed, that is up to you. I recommend not liking posts. Also, follow people that you trust. These actions route through your main blog and your main will show up in the notes. You can reblog from a sideblog. If you want to send an ask “as your tk blog”, send an anon and sign it somehow, like ‘hey :) // @/tickle-bugs’. It should tag you in the post so you get a notification when it’s answered!
- Find your people! As an anxious person this one has been hard for me, so I know it’s hard for a lot of people. Fandom is literally a community of shared interest. Peachy and I have an iron bond almost two years later and we met talking over shared interests. You can absolutely find your people here. If someone makes you happy, strike up a conversation! Send an ask! You never know what doors it might open or whose day you might improve :)
- If you were an anon/lurker on someone’s blog and they inspired you to write/submit/start your own, sign your messages!! the common form that I see is either an emoji or [noun/context of the ask]!anon (prodigal!anon (i miss u every day), butterfly!anon, etc.) Let us know how to find and support you!! Those messages produce good brain juice. 
- The big finale: Have fun. If you’re not having fun here, maybe you could tweak something to make things enjoyable. Running a blog is like driving a car. Keep your hands on the wheel, respectfully indicate your intentions (flashing lights optional), and be safe. Poebody’s nerfect, y’know. If you make a mistake, course correct. I’m by no means perfect. Your favs aren’t either. Just do your best and have a good time :)
@rosytickles and the anon in my inbox, I hope this helps! Thank you for asking me, I’m very honored that you value my opinon/experience/advice. I apologize if I come off as preachy or aggressive, I envisioned grabbing my younger self by the lapels and shaking me vigorously while I wrote this. Probably a bad idea. 
Anywho, hope it helps. Anyone with questions, additions, or comments, my askbox is open! Just be constructive, is all I ask. 
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steponmepinkjun · 3 years ago
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I NEVER FINISHED MY STORY OMG. ok so i left off at being too proud to tell my friend she was right and kpop fucked hard. the difference between u and me is that i’m too good of a liar. too good. i kept up the “i hate kpop it’s cringe” facade for ALMOST TWO WHOLE YEARS, I SHIT YOU NOT. why? bc my dumb ass, extra ass, dramatic ass self thought “ok if i’m gonna have to deal with the embarrassment of admitting i’m wrong, i better do it in such an extra ass way it’ll knock ur socks off so hard that YOULL be the one embarrassed not me.” the original plan was to learn the entire choreography to bts dope, bc it’s the song that she told me to listen to and inevitably the song that got me into them, but later switched to bts fire bc i saw too many of those “choreo matches w any song” videos, and then her birthday party came up. and here’s the real kicker. her birthday is April Motherfuckin Fools. so it would be So Perfect for me to reveal my kpopism as a birthday present And a april fools prank in one. so i was Set on the Reveal being on april 1st, but the day rolls around and god that choreo is so fucking hard and i am Not a dancer. never have been. so i abandon that and go ykno what… i’ll do it Next Year. BC MY BITCHASS WAS LIKE NO THE MOMENT IS TOO PERFECT TO DO IT ON A NORMAL ASS DAY ITS GONNA BE ON APRIL FOOLS ON HER GODDAMN BIRTHDAY OR NOT AT ALL. a year rolls by, i’ve told most of our friends except her and they’re all in on it, i’d made so many subtle kpop references to her without her realising they were fully intentional and had too many scares where she almost figured me out but i lied my way out of it, and i’d given up on showing off with choreography bc i couldn’t make that shit look good. i’m not a dancer. i am, however, a rapper, and a damn good one, so i inhaled the agust d mixtape and decided i’d just rap the eminem of kpop’s anthem at her face. in korean. and change the lyrics at the end (if u haven’t listened to agust d, the bridge repeats “i’m sorry” a lot) to “i’m sorry i kept this from u for so long” and “i’m sorry i actually ult got7 not bts” (this was like the april after skz debuted ok i was holding onto got7 for dear life knowing full well skz we’re going to convert me smh) and the best part? she never saw it coming. her official present was a cd with a bunch of kpop on it but she thought it was just a personalised mixtape for her so i told her to play the first song out loud and she knew the song Instantly. it has a long intro so she was like “i guess u did listen when i recommended u this song!! i knew you’d like it since u like rap so much!!” and then i started rapping and i shit u not. she started SCREAMING. like the initial reaction was her jaw dropping and then instinctively covering her mouth but when i kept going and she realised i wasn’t fucking around she just fucking screamed like a banshee. at the end during the sorry bit i threw off my jacket to reveal a got7 shirt on the inside and she fell off her chair and started rolling around on the floor. needless to say it was every bit as satisfying as i thought it’d be LMAOOOO afterwards her ass was like “I CANT BELIEVE U HID THIS FROM ME FOR OVER A YEAR” and when i tried to explain my ego couldn’t take the “i told u so” she was like “you know i wouldn’t have made fun of you for it right? i would just be glad you’re not hating on my boys anymore” so basically i’m a big dramatic fool and she was always too good for me.
don’t mind the weird spaces here my ipad is being all fucky wucky w me rn. damn sad to hear ur sideblog experience didn’t go so well, i’d have shown u the cool side of the fandom if i knew 😤😤 leading u thru the cursed halls of kpop stan tumblr like a sketchy tour guide that’s actually 3 small raccoons stacked on top of each other like a trench coat, like “over here we have the fanfic writers that honestly need to publish a book, over here we have the gif makers that are responsible for my entire camera roll, if we take a quick swerve past the death threat anons and the twt fanwar screenshots - mind ur feet bub the 14 year olds were tryna make a grab for ur ankles - ah here’s the holy grail of shitposts, you might be here for hours, to the right we have the weird aussie side of the fandom that projects our childhoods onto chanlix but also all the members as we decide what their life in australia would’ve been like, and down there is a secret trapdoor to the blogs w endless random headcanons that will make you laugh, cry or blush depending on if the author woke up and decided to choose violence today. enjoy your Stay!” but then again i’m not so active on tumblr anymore (ngl you’ve become the highlight of my tumblr experience these days, interaction wise,) so maybe all my Local Hotspots are inactive now. i know a bunch of them are, it’s sad. “i don’t fw stan twitter for the same reason i don’t hang out in meth dens” oop. guess i’m a meth addict. no but i get u i rly do, it’s a hellhole out there, but the fact that things get shared and spread a lot easier than on tumblr and how short most things have to be (therefor keeping up w my adhd attention span without having to resort to the mental torture that is tiktok, with the added bonus of not always needing headphones.) that i just. couldn’t leave if i tried. maybe i should try being active on tumblr again but it’s a dying site in comparison.
“their music doesn’t consistently hit for me as much as skz” i’m sorry we can’t be friends anymore. what. what. you don’t dramama ramama ramama hey? you don’t feel a little jealousyyyyyy, naega anin? you don’t shoot out, shoot out, shoot out, or aremdaeun love killa love killa? you can’t be your hero du du du du du du du du du dududu? u disappoint me. literally like everyone i know who likes skz music likes mx music like it’s a rite of Passage. they’re kindred spirits, monsta x music is like skz’s music’s cool but mildly heterosexual older brother. neither of them know what a bad song is it runs in the family. and both their music runs in my VEINS. whenever i describe my music taste they’re always the first two that come to mind, skz being my number 1 bc they are my best boys but mx bc of the Flavour. pls listen to the entire the code album then get back to me 😤🙌 ok but fr ur so right they are 7 of the finest men i ever seen (yes i say 7 bc i’m including wonho cause he deserved better and i’ll die on my ot7 bullshit.) like don’t get me started on them either LOL i LITERALLY downloaded that one insta video of changkyun working out his back n arm muscles w his tattoo showing bc i needed that shit saved for Science. they could do Anything w me like frfr. yes vixx is the bdsm contract group i’m telling ya they wildin. or at least they were. it’s been years since their last comeback idk what they’re doing anymore tbh. and yeah that makes sense, savouring the hyperfixation i feel it, but also i’m so attached to skz that i never let it die. like i hyperfixate on other things and other groups but i will Always go back to skz cause they’re my homeboys. hell, they’re my home. being a predebut stay i’ve spent more time w skz than most of my actual family members at this point. but that’s just me you do u boo xx just know that if ur anything like me ur never letting go once skz it’s been my longest lasting fixation cause they hit like Nothing Else Do. ik i’ve already said that but i cannot stress it enough. they’re really special. i’m gonna stop here before i get all sappy and emotional bc i really love those boys so fucking much and i don’t drop the L bomb often. SIDE NOTE I WOULD LIKE TO SEE UR LIST OF GROUPS RANKED BY THORSt. i need to judge ur Taste. and omg cat&dog is such a guilty pleasure song bc the lyrics make me cringe so much bc while pet play can be fun they be doing it in more of an “i’m an innocent soft dogboy uwu” kinda way that just Does Not Sit Right with me. it comes back to the objectifying of asians that asians themselves don’t help in industries like these and maybe i’m looking too far into it when rly it is just wholesome n cute or maybe they are into some pet play shit idk idc i will bop to the song regardless but i will not acknowledge the lyrics nope.
YOURE RIGHT THO SKZ’S OPENNESS IS IN FACT, A BIG DEAL, i’ll grab them for u if u want but i found these twt threads of skz supporting the lgbt community and i just felt a special kind of happiness man like sure the delusional part of me likes going “haha they’re gay” bc my brain likes to imagine them as my polycule of mlm boyfriends bc sometimes thats what gives me the serotonin to get me thru the day ok don’t judge but also bc it’s nice knowing that yes i’ll never know them personally, but at least i can support them knowing they’d respect my gender identity and my pronouns, they’d respect who i choose to love, and that’s already more than the general public can say so shit, it is special! it’s special that they don’t treat being cishet like the norm - they constantly remove gender from their songs and speech entirely, they don’t assume all stays are female anymore, we don’t talk abt the babygirls incident cause we got babystays in the end outta that ok, and it’s just. so refreshing and important to me bc i can’t get that anywhere else!! like my semi ults are the boyz and while i love them very much and there’s no way all 11 of them are straight i refuse, i do get just a little bit sad whenever they she/her their fandom by default and call them their girlfriends n shit even tho i do still identify as a girl, i’m also genderfluid/nonbinary/transmasc, and i have a very love/hate relationship w my womanhood and rarely use she/her pronouns, cause it’s like, do you not see me? see us? the ones who aren’t cishet women? i mean i know kevin does bc he congratulated a fan who came out as nb but it’s just not the same as the openness we get w skz. like how do i trust cishets i could be supporting them as a queer person when in reality they’d call me a slur. what would i know, behind the screen? so it’s so good that skz go the extra mile to make it a safe space for everyone. this is already long enough i will reply to the second half of that ask in another message… tomorrow cause it’s 1am and i’m tired gn -felix bi anon
I'mma have to start putting these under a readmore so that i don't absolutely make everything who is still following me for some reason go totally fucking insane 😂
NDJDHWJJAHFNAKBSJSBFBHHDBDNAJD YOU HAVE NO IDEA THE FACES I WAS MAKING READING THIS, I WAS FUCKING CACKLING AND GASPING EVERY OTHER SENTENCE SO HARD THAT I SCARED THE CATS NDJWHSHSB the fact that you went "oh you want me to get into kpop? Give me a hot minute, and I'll give you a whole ass private concert for free" biduehsjdbd biiiiiiiiiiitch you're a fucking ICON, I stg I could NEVER 😂 (and not just because I couldn't find a tune if you gave me a printed set of Google maps directions and that I embody the steriotype that white people can't dance, like my sister kept sensing me tiktoks of the whole "dance like a white girl" trend going lmfao look it's you and eventually I was like "sis please this trend has me feeling like being white is a disability and these mothafuckers are being ableist 😭 also I could NEVER be that on beat so yall ain't even doin it right 😭😭😭😭"). Tbh if I told one of my friends (lol what friends, i got jokes) to get into Skz and they showed up at my bday and performed the entirety of I Got It I would simply shower them in money and go "aight everyone else go home, you are no longer needed, you are being laid off, your position has been eliminated, we're downsizing, the company is moving up and you're moving out, you are not qualified for this role any longer, best of luck with future endeavors" 😊
I think part of the reason I can't deal w Twitter is the exact reason I refuse to leave tumblr, in that I've been on tumblr since 2006 and twt since 2008, and tumblr literally has not changed at all, not even a little, whereas going from the early days of twt where there were no corporate sponsorships or ads and you had to manually copy and paste someone's tweet and @ them to retweet it, to how it is now, like 90% ads and showing me shit from the timelines of people I don't even fuckin follow n whatnot, it's just not enjoyable. Idk how anyone finds anything on twt, it confuses and frustrates me because I am old and have not adapted well to technology changing 😂 But arguably, the skz fanbase doesn't want me on skztwt anyways so like it works for both of us lmfaooo. I am old and cringey, and also still think of twt as stream of consciousness whereas tumblr is your teenage bedroom where you can decorate the walls with anything that interests you. I do really love the nonsensical kpoptwt shitposts tho fhshsbdjjss like it is a very specific flavor of mental instability that I enjoy immensely 😂 OH and also I initially misread part of that and thought you were saying you actually irl do meth and I was like 😳 WHAT DO I SAY TO THAT. HOW DO I HANDLE THIS. Like how do I express like "I wasn't being judgy of people who use substances cause I've been there but I was just being insensitive 😳" And then went back and reread it and was like WHEW, IM JUST AN ILLITERATE FOOL 😂😂😂😂 ejeywhdhrhjwbfbdjshdhdhd I spent like an hour bwign like "IS THE REASON WE GET ALONG BECAUSE THEY'RE ON METH???? WHAT DO I DO WITH THIS INFORMATION??????" hrhehshe I am literally a fuckin idiot it's fine
It's not that I don't fw them, it's more like... Okay so like there is no situation in which I am going to skip a skz song if it comes on shuffle. You will not ever catch me NOT in the mood to listen to Sunshine, if God's Menu comes on we are THROWIN the meager amount of booty meat I got hither and thither, I could be in the happiest mood of my life but if Ex comes on I will stop to SOB. And I'm not like that with most music, so mx just falls into the category of "there is a time and place." Idk why but it just doesn't forcibly grab hold of my heart and ass the way skz always does. I really don't WANT my skz fixation to ever end, but I know that eventually it'll stop giving me dopamine bevause my brain is my worst fucking enemy 🙃 like my arcana fixation is to date the longest running hyperfixation I've ever had, going on almost three years, and I used to not be able to spend every single second of every day thinking about Asra, but now... I just feel nothing when I look at arcana stuff. As you can probz tell by the fact that I hardly post arcana anymore 😂 So I know that eventually all my happiness will end, it always does, I can never stay just as obsessed with something as I was for long. I CANT SHARE THE LIST BECAUSE I DONT *HAVE* TASTE YET 😭 I'm basically just compiling a list of any group someone tells me I should look into, ranked by how strong the kitty purred upon googling pics of them 😂 My mom read my ass to FILTH over txt lmfao she was like "they're not that adorable. Maybe your standard for adorableness has gone down with You Know Who still on hiatus 🤔" bfjwhdhd like MOMMAAAAA THE LIBRARY IS CLOSED 😂 she attacks me any time I even hint at stanning other groups, she is a skz purist and stans skz only, unofficial Momma Stay of All Stays keeping me in check lmfao.
I feel like skz really do follow thru on their promise that they're a safe space for stays, it's nice to see that they hold space for anyone and everyone in their fanbase and do it in a really simple and elegant way, I feel. Like they never make it seem like "okay here are the fans and here are the token weirdos that were only recognizing to make a buck off of them" the way a lot of artists make it feel like 😑 like they don't go out of their way to act like it's some revolutionary act to do the bare minimum of not shitting on certain parts of the fandom, if that makes sense. They feel very "yeah, of course we love all our stays, this is a welcoming space for literally anyone, that's how it should be, that should be normal," instead of like "Hi fans we love you 😊 and special shoutout to you ell gee bee tee folk, make sure to buy my rainbow merch after the show!!!" you know? Like, they're the friends who would never make you feel weird or different for some shit, the friends that take the attention off you if something they know ur sensitive about comes up, instead of weirdly snapping at whoever brought the unfomfy thing up which ruins the mood and makes you feel tiwce as bad, yk? They just give off this vibe that they, and the space they create with their music, is just a genuine and chill place to be and hang out and relax and bond. I feel like they'd be the friend group that is so goofy and sweet and silly and accepting and lovely and always makes you feel loved and excited to be alive 🥺 They are all good noodles 🥺🥺🥺
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grandmascottlang · 5 years ago
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A general blog and life update.
Hello guys!!!
I'm gonna give my life update first because it's more important and will also have some impact on my blog as well.
A few things:
In the past few weeks, I haven't really been on Tumblr. This is for a number of reasons:
I had family in town. Since none of my family live anywhere near me, it's always a treat when the come down because I never really get to see them (for reference, I live in Colorado and about 90% of my family lives on the east coast).
(This deals with my family being here) I also had to make sure that my slightly older cousin wasn't messing up my room/destroying my PS4/just being overall sketchy while he was hanging out in my room. The reason he hung out in my room so much was because he was playing on my PS4 for almost 10 hours a day.
I had to read a book for school.
I promised my dad I would do something (I don't want to talk about what this thing is online) this summer because I told him that I just wanted to hang out with my friends and write this summer (mainly because I'm depressed and have no energy for anything else) and he said since I'm not getting a job that writing and reading my book for school isn't enough.
I didn't finish that one thing so he took away my phone. That literally sucked because half of my friends are online and being deprived of them made me even more depressed as well as a lot of my coping mechanisms depend on the internet and it's kind of hard to do them when your dad is breathing down your neck 24/7 making sure that you're doing something that you can't do because you're exhausted and depressed.
College (or Uni for you non-American folks lol) is coming up soon! We're actually on the road as of yesterday because I have to be on campus in a few days!
Basically a lot of things have happened. It's been a good and terrible past few weeks. I was trying my hardest not to relapse (and I didn't so that's really good!!!) but doing so ate up so much of my time and energy. I also didn't have any time to really write and I swear, I've been working on this Bucky fic for too long and it will be going up this week. By Wednesday. (Unless something comes up obvs.)
Another few blog things to add:
Times are changing on grandmascottlang. Main changes include/have included: a more multifandom approach to MCU content, not a lot of Good Omens content, revamping and redoing my taglists, significantly less Tom Holland posts.
Let's talk about the last point.
I don't really like the Tom Holland fandom anymore. It reminds me of how toxic the Phandom was in 2015; it's not enjoyable, fun, or easy to navigate through drama anymore. It's more annoying to me than anything else. It's such a bad community because so many people idolize Tom and say he can't do wrong or idolize him and get mad when he makes a mistake and it's just gross to me. I'm not the biggest on celebrity stan culture anymore because it's just unrealistic idolization. I'm sick and tired of it and I need to move on.
This doesn't have an impact on my fics, I will mainly post Peter Parker fics, but I'm moving away from writing TH fics (as I've mentioned before) and I'm staying away from RPFs in general. I'll maybe write them at some point, but I have no interest in writing any now.
Let's talk about Good Omens!
I love Good Omens (probably too much) and I adore the show and the book. I've been finding some really good books to read these past few months and I am so happy that the show became as popular as it did because I am absolutely loving the book!!! I already love the show so much, I've watched through it at least ten times already, and I'm so excited to finish the book!
I realized that I was posting so much GO content on this blog, I needed a sideblog for it. If you like GO, check out @ineffable-crowleys ! I reblog a lot of Ineffable Husbands fics, fanart, graphics, gifs, etc and I'm absolutely loving how kind and easy going the fandom is right now! I love reading theories so all of these headcanons are amazing!
Now let's talk about my taglists.
As a lot of you know, I have a taglist. Recently (2-3 weeks ago) I deleted everyone off of that list. I had so many inactive accounts on that list as well as people who didn't read my writing at all/people I don't like anymore on it. It was just easier to start from scratch rather than removing 500-1000 tags.
If you haven't filled it out, please fill it out if you want me to tag you! Even if we're friends, please fill it out again!
Here's the link for it.
Thank you again for filling it out! And a few things about my taglists:
I don't add people through asks or comments. I will redirect you to this form. It's so much easier for me that way.
Also, there's a three strike rule, you will be removed if you don't interact within three fics.
I will eventually close my taglists.
I only update my taglists once a week. Most likely on Thursdays.
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ddaenggtan · 5 years ago
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about ddaenggtan
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✧ WHADDUP my name’s bette (not really), i’m 24, and i never fucking learned how to read write ✧
click here to go back to my full nav
。・:*:・゚★,。・:*:・゚☆ me  。・:*:・゚★,。・:*:・゚☆
✧ bette. she/her, but i don’t mind they/them.
✧ i’m in est, and i live in the mid-south usa
✧ 24. libra. year of the pig. (pisces moon and gemini rising, if ur curious)
✧ the gayest bisexual you’ll ever meet, except when it comes to bts
✧ engayged and i talk about her a LOT
✧ i write fic and whine about how bts exists and yet i’m not their friend
✧ ot7 biased
✧ adhd + anxiety + depression + chronic pain ftw
✧ i don’t do tag lists bc i can barely remember to link my ao3 in those posts
✧ i’m a kinky bitch and i am not afraid to be horny on main on this sideblog
✧ if you find my main rip you i’ve had it since 2008 and it’s a clusterfuck 
✧ bts is the only kpop group i stan, but i listen to several others casually. i also really fucking love hozier.
✧ i really fucking love space. like,,,,,,it’s a little alarming. i love it so much tho.
✧ i play a ridiculous amount of video games, and run a D&D campaign for fun
✧ i collect clue games. like. the board game. because i’m weird and a nerd.
。・:*:・゚★,。・:*:・゚☆ things to know  。・:*:・゚★,。・:*:・゚☆
✧ i’m very politically opinionated and i tend to keep it off this blog and strictly on my main, but you’re definitely gonna hear me bitch about the president at least a little
✧ you’re also gonna get some Moral Lessons in my fic because it’s basically impossible for me not to preach about how people deserve to live without justifying their existence in the world, and also how people should be treated with respect
✧ i don’t do any kind of non-con, because that’s just straight up sexual assault and i literally do a charity every year to bring attention to how much of a fucking problem that already is in the world today. 
✧ i might occasionally tag something as dub-con, but i can guarantee you that it isn’t actually dub-con, because consent that isn’t given freely and enthusiastically is not consent uwu
✧ i firmly believe that teenagers have the right to read and even write erotic/smutty material because for a lot of people, that’s the only chance they have to explore their sexuality and what it means to them. that said, please do not interact with me if you are not of age (preferably at least twenty tbh) because you all are fantastic and lovely and i cannot wait to see what you do in the world, but i am not comfortable talking to minors on a blog where i write smut
。・:*:・゚★,。・:*:・゚☆ things to avoid  。・:*:・゚★,。・:*:・゚☆
✧ homophobia, transphobia, biphobia, ace/aro-phobia (ace/aro people are part of the lgbt community and i will not debate that with you, and will in fact unfollow if you start doing any kind of discourse about that fact). i’m literally one of the biggest supporters of my queer siblings and i will fight for them. 
✧ racism, of any kind, be it anti-semitism, xenophobia, anti-blackness, any of it. i make a lot of jokes about white people because i am a white girl, and we’re ridiculously privileged, and also jokes about white people are funny as shit. 
✧ fetishization of anyone, particularly of wlw, mlm, and non-white people. queer people aren’t your kink, and poc are not ‘exotic’       ✧ on that note, do not follow if you support whitewashing, because it’s gross       ✧ also FUCK h*adl*ner and fuck  m*m*btsgh*st and fuck all sasaengs
✧ don’t follow if you actually ship real people together, it’s not cute, it’s fetishization and it’s gross, and i remember the 1d days too well for that shit. i may occasionally write mxm fics, but that’s doubtful, and even if i do, i can guarantee you i do not ship them in any real way together and instead essentially use them as a storytelling medium. 
✧ any kind of body-non-positivity, because it is a FACT that ugly does not exist except in personalities. seriously, i’m literally a fat girl, if you come on here trying to talk shit about fat people, you’re gonna get destroyed. and don’t come here saying anything about thinner people either, because that’s not alright, and i will shut you down just the same. 
。・:*:・゚★,。・:*:・゚☆ tl;dr be respectful and we’re chill  。・:*:・゚★,。・:*:・゚☆
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destiny-islanders · 6 years ago
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Hi! Are you gonna be posting dmc art (if you make any!! I am not assuming anything here lol) on a different blog? Or this one? Be honest do you even use any of your other blogs anymore??🤣 not like it's a bad thing, I think it's kinda funny tbh, you started out with blogs for separate things, but now most everything goes here. I actually found you first with your Jason Todd art! I'm not even into dc anymore, but I still love Jason😊(and Tim).
Omg I’m being called out in my own house hahaha
I prefer to have organized blogs for all of my interests so that my followers know what they’re going to get from each one. I still love the fandoms I made sideblogs for dearly! It’s just that the inspiration to draw for them isn’t there anymore. But that spark always lights back up every so often, so I’m sure I’ll revisit those characters again soon!
I still love all of the Batkids dearly! I hope DC is treating them better than they were when I fell off the comics-reading wagon
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copperbadge · 7 years ago
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There was a recent discussion on tumblr, which I didn’t reblog for obvious reasons, about how people with a large readership cope with a heavy interaction load -- how the person would be anxious if they dealt with that volume of notes on each post, that amount of interaction and contact. I was tagged in it because of my habit of "lochnessing", where I cause an activity spike on posts I reblog that looks like the loch ness monster.
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It never occurs to me, because I’ve dealt with high-volume social media for so long -- realistically about ten years, probably closer to fifteen -- that it’s difficult for people to handle that, because they don’t have the systems in place that I do. I mean it does occur to me in the sense that I have become more cautious about what I reblog and its impact on the OP; there are things I’d like to share with you but don’t because I recognize it would be harmful to the person who wrote them. But it doesn't occur to me that someone might struggle with a high volume of notes purely because it's a volume that they don't have a system in place to deal with the way I do.
So I said I'd do a writeup on the "entire ecosystems" I had in place for handling the high volume of interaction I receive online. I sit at a weird place where I'm not so well known that I can just ignore most of what comes at me with impunity because everyone acknowledges I can't answer it all, like say a youtube star. But at the same time I do get too much attention to return it at the same level I receive it. I am one and you are sixteen thousand. So I had to make systems to return as much as I could and feel okay about not returning the rest.
Reading through this, of course it sounds like a weird humblebrag: "Here's how I deal with my MASSIVE POPULARITY". There's no real way around that; I can't talk about how I deal with comments without talking about how I get a disproportionately high number of them. The fact that I do is what leads me to do things like the Zero Comment Challenge, or Radio Free Monday, to try and balance shit out. So, as I mention occasionally below, you can think I'm an asshole for talking about how I am popular, but I can't talk about how to deal with that popularity without acknowledging the reality of it, and someone somewhere's gonna think I'm an asshole anyway, so whatever.
These are the systems I use to manage my life -- work, play, the weird inbetween space that's kind of both. Many of these are akin to the systems that I use in managing my depression, in that they involve a lot of small steps building up to a big result, but each small step on its own is manageable.
Let's start with AO3, because it's actually probably the simplest.
I clean out my comments once a week. Usually there are between forty and a hundred and fifty, depending on if I’ve published something recently or been recommended by someone. 
I go through all the one-sentence comments first, because those are the ones that are least likely to require a response. I read all comments but I learned through trial and error, twice in ten years, that I am physically and emotionally incapable of responding to every comment I receive even if it's just with a "Thank you!" and I'm just going to live with the fact that people think I'm an asshole for that. Also while I appreciate someone who leaves a "Great fic! <3" comment, that's genuinely really cool and validating, I don't think they truly need or expect a response. So most one-line comments, unless they are super weird or contain a question, get read, appreciated, and then deleted. 
Then I go through the longer comments that need a closer reading, and delete any that are cool but still don't seem to require responses. If someone has left a ton of comments, I'll find the one I think is coolest or most needing of response, delete the others, and reply to that one comment with a thoughtful response including a line thanking them for all their other comments.
Finally, I respond to comments that are in-depth or have questions that require some thought. I find that if I don't respond to these on a weekly basis they pile up and then someone who asked a question like six months ago is still waiting for an answer, so this one is non-negotiable: my AO3 inbox has to be empty at the end of each week, and everything that needed a reply has to have one. (I do have one or two that just live in my inbox because they are cool ideas I will one day get round to writing, and I want to credit them when I do, but it's never more than two.) For me, it's easiest to wait until Friday or Saturday and just take an hour to clear them all out, rather than clearing as I go, because I don't have AO3 open all the time the way I do some other sites.  
Tumblr: Every morning, before work, I go through the previous night's responses; I open all reblogs/mentions in new tabs to read and reply-as-necessary, and I reply to all comments that need responses. (This is also something I'll do throughout the day, but especially if I'm tired or pressed for time, the comment replies might be saved as a draft or left in an open tab until I can get to them). Occasionally shit doesn’t show up or I miss stuff but I’ve learned to just live with that as the price of doing fandom on Tumblr. 
If there's a post by someone else that requires a response from me -- either a reblog of one of my posts, or someone tagged me in a post -- I Like it to find it later or I save it as a draft. I don't use Likes as anything other than "I want to be able to find this again in less than a week's time" and I never have more than about 20 Likes in my files. (Unless I’m traveling; it’s easier to Like something than save it as a draft or respond, so when I get home from traveling I often have 30-50 Likes in my file.)
Often on Tumblr I go through what I call the Line Cycle -- I read my dash, and then I go "down the line" and open all the other pages that might need attention, in specific order. I open asks and try to respond to a few -- I try to answer at least five every time but sometimes I don't manage to answer any for whatever reason -- then I open likes and try to convert as many likes as I can to either queued reblogs or drafts. I open drafts and try to convert some of those to queued reblogs. Then I go through the same process for one or two side blogs.
(Also in drafts are a lot of things that I'm not sure I want to put in my queue yet, or things that I put in the queue weekly like the Zero Comment Challenge post, which I dust off when I'm ready to queue it, then immediately re-save to drafts when it posts.)
Occasionally if I feel shit is getting out of hand I dedicate myself to, every time, not leaving the page I'm on until I've reduced its "count" (number of asks, likes, drafts, etc) by five, or at least to below the next multiple of five -- if I have 23, for example, I'll try to get it below 20.
Sometimes posts in tabs sit open for a while because in order to respond I have to read an article or watch a video, which take a lot of focus and attention. It used to be that recommendations for books or stuff to watch also sat open forever until I could get round to doing it, but now I just have a "reccs" file on the cloud that is a list of what I've been recommended and who recommended it, and I work my way through them slowly.
Email: Once I've read them, site notifications in my inbox get deleted; I've turned off follow/kudos notifications because they tend to be white noise.
Email is tough for me, it requires a lot of focus and emotional attention to answer emails, so I treat it the same way I would asks or likes or whatnot, but much more slowly. I tend to have a backlog of about thirty emails in my inbox, though often five to ten of those are emails that don't need response and that I'm saving (I star them to mark them as not needing attention). I have the multiple-stars function in Gmail turned on, and when it gets really bad, I start opening emails and triaging -- "This will be easier to answer" "This will take some time" etc. by starring them different colors.
I like to have no more than fifteen emails in my inbox but that is a rarity. 
The Internet: Because social media takes up a lot of my time and I also work eight hours a day (well, four, we'll get to that in a bit) I have streamlined the way I encounter the internet, as well. I have a list of "daily reading" bookmarks that I open every morning and check through -- the horoscope page, the mustard tag on tumblr (which I don't follow because then the same dumbass two hipster fashion posts keep showing up on my dash), a blog that follows and posts about new small flash games that I might enjoy playing, a few others. (I also have a Monday file that I open once a week, it's calendars of events and such, and I go through on Mondays and add anything to my calendar that looks interesting.)
But if I can, any regularly-updated page that has an RSS feed gets converted to RSS and put into my Netvibes reader account, where I peruse it at my leisure. The Netvibes reader account includes a direct feed from the Steve/Tony and Steve/Sam tags on AO3, plus a few others; longform.org, some cooking blogs I follow, a bunch of podcast pages, a few webcomics, and one or two tumblrs that I don't want showing up on my dash (mainly artists' porny sideblogs, what up you glorious pervs) or think I would make the person uncomfortable by following them.
I have five tabs pinned to Chrome at any given time, and four tabs pinned to Firefox. The Chrome tabs are my personal Netvibes, Google Drive, a Google Sheets spreadsheet with my calendar and accounting tabs in it, Gmail, and Tumblr. The Firefox tabs are a second Netvibes account I use for work (we have several news sources we all monitor daily), my non-fannish gmail, my non-fannish facebook with a custom reading page so I never see anything twice, and the Google "family calendar" that I and my family use to track where we all are and what we're doing.
My parents use this more than I do, which is why I often open the calendar app on my phone to check my work schedule and find that my parents are taking the dogs to the groomer's today (yes, I know I could turn this off, but it amuses me). When I introduced my mother to Google Calendar her eyes got super big and she fell in immediate love; the first three things she added were the birthdays of her two dogs, followed by the birthday of Jesus. I would be more insulted by this but I had already added all the family birthdays, so at least I didn't come in behind the dogs AND the Christ Child.
Once in a while, when I'm at work and I feel like I'm not sure what I should be doing or that my day is spiralling out of my control, I'll take a deep breath, pull up Chrome, and go through all my pinned tabs, one by one, changing or fixing something on each -- I'll clear out my Longform reading, answer a few emails, check the calendar, etc. Then I'll go through any open tabs and try to close at least one. I get anxious if I have more than five or six non-pinned tabs open. Like having an inbox that's rarely over thirty emails total, it's not a sign I'm more effective or efficient than anyone else, it's just a sign I'm debilitatingly anxious about this kind of thing.
Work: I've read, many times, that people who work eight hours a day in a white collar job like mine really only do four hours of actual work. And for a while I joked that I wondered if I even did four, because I dick around on the internet A LOT. But lately I started to genuinely wonder, and so for the past six weeks, I've put that statement to the test.
When I arrive at work, I immediately put in two hours of solid work. I don't read tumblr, I don't read anything but work-related material. I triage all my work emails, I go through my Google Task list for the day and sort things by most to least urgent, and then I work my way through them for two solid hours. It's not easy at all, but any time I think "This is when I would stop and read tumblr" I shake my head and try to do one more work thing, and then I get back in the groove and can do like, three more. I also use this first morning period to take care of "personal work", stuff which has to get done to keep my life running smoothly, like mailing packages or replying to my parents' emails or whatnot.
Then I get a half-hour break to read tumblr, play a flash game, maybe read a piece on Longform. (I don't read fanfic at work; I sometimes clean out Netvibes of fics that from the tags and summaries I know I won't be interested in, but I don't open fanfic at work at all.) I also use this time to get some food in me.
Then I do another two hours of work, same deal. And that's four hours of work. And I get a shitload done, let me tell you.
For the next three hours after, I am basically free to do whatever I want. I usually use about an hour to do some freelance work, and I spend time on tumblr or on personal email, reading articles, listening to podcasts, playing games. I eat a snack, I talk to my coworkers. I find I actually run out of new stuff to read, and I do try to process the old stuff, like empty out my drafts and likes. And of course the nature of my job means that sometimes there is work to be done that comes up suddenly, but it's usually just a matter of teeing it up for the following morning's work shift.
For the last hour of my work day, I go through my work inbox, make sure everything's set up for tomorrow, send any last emails, do any last wrap-up, and make sure all my documents are either saved or closed. (Our IT team likes to run updates and involuntary restarts without warning, so I've learned to always save at end of day.)
So, yeah. Those are some of the systems I have in place in order to run a very mentally busy life. I'm not necessarily recommending them; a lot of them won't work for everyone because everyone is different, and I recognize that some of them are inapplicable (I work a job with no outward-facing element to it; a barista or a librarian or a teacher can't do what I do, schedule-wise), and some of them are a level of regimentation I'm not sure most people would find healthy. But that's how I do my thing, and maybe some of my techniques will sound appealing to other people who occasionally feel, as I do, like they're drowning a little bit.
(Did you find this useful or interesting? Keep me organized and drop some change in my Ko-Fi or at my Paypal!)
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bma-2020 · 7 years ago
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W/ONDERLAN/U/NDERLAND DIVERGENCY
            Now much of this divergency stems from varying factors, the main being: A: while the first movie had a good storyline, it didn’t delve as deep as it could have. B: obviously, certain actors have done some things so for my editing capabilities, i had to change his fc. C: I’m someone who very much likes to take a base and work beyond what i know the company would ever give, which is why i take the base of burtonverse and the game, as well as companion guide, and move beyond that. D: My blog is very much based in a verse where a spell happened and all the animals are no longer animals, which screws with people. and E: because ttlg was a hot mess on the major scale and as someone who half finished her own sequel to the first movie, barely acknowledge ttlg’s existence beyond regular whining.
            So in the essence of the changes i’ve taken, both for my blogs purpose to keep the b/urtonverse name… possible, but also for my own safety since i’ve dealt with people coming at me for something that isnt my fault, isn’t related, or otherwise just shows that theres a lot of uneducated adolescents on this website that actually believe telling people to kill themselves either for differing opinions or lack of knowledge on a topic or person, i’m severely trying to avoid dealing with those people. So this is a wild mesh of thoughts not put together anywhere nearly as well as it could be, but im doing my best with my limited amount of free time and non chemical thought process as i am capable.
            now nobody cares abt that stuff so lets get into the changes, rewrites, and divergency, shall we?
            Now in my Underland (Which I know is different from Wo/nderland, but i do still think having it not be called w/onderland was a stupid idea therefore my calling it wonderland is both shade and because i type it quicker) its been several years since Alice’s visit (probably a lot less for her, if even a year, Gina had this cool time post for s/yfy alice that i keep alive every few months by regularly reblogging it so I’ll probably go find that and bring it back again later. ) and there’s been a magical outbreak– things creeping up which had long been deceased, spells cast to make nearly all the animals humanoid (the horses werent lucky enough, and it didn’t effect ches/hire because chesh already had a human form, and the capability to transform into whatever he pleased to a point), and it screws with a lot of minds for awhile, but something about being humanoid felt familiar to Mally.
            Now, something which they never fully explained was how everyone knew each other. The game hints at them all knowing each other for awhile, many factors hint at St/ayne being a heavy influencer in the game, and likely having done something to the Queens relationship ( which, of course, was all dropped in the sequel because god forbid they give crispin more money), and i refuse to believe what ttlg gave us was anything close to what it actually was (especially with the lack of stay/ne, who played such a major role in the first movie that it makes no sense for him not to be in their past)
            this is gonna be long, and be depth for a lot of characters. A good deal of Stay/ne by my opinions and headcanons can be read on my sta/yne sideblog (illosovic) in his about, and that blog is mostly just me whining abt ttlg but whatever. Most else can be read here, but i will touch on st/ayne some here, too.
TEA TRIO
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            Obviously the part most people care about, and with the face i actually chose for S/tayne, Sebby is not only one of the better actors to play a hatter imo (i legitimately only watched ouat for him ngl) even though he has done it before, i do feel like in the version i adapted from b/urtons and the hatter we had from b/urton anyways, seb could pull off the personality fluctuations as well as the insanity best. I was honestly torn on the alternate for a long time because i didnt want to use someone who’s played a hatter before, but all in all, who better to play a hatter than someone who has played a hatter and absolutely killed it.
            anyways, the actual important part of this is, Everything ttlg had regarding mally in the past, that shiz aint real here. M/allymkun was born shortly before the R/ed Queen took over W/onderland, after her biological father was framed as a war criminal, her mother turned her into a mouse, and abandoned her in a clearing the forest by Witzend, and after the King and Queen already died, and Mi/rana was set to take over. I actually see it as Mirana hadn’t been Queen for that long before I/racebeth took the crown, because the longer M/irana was Queen, the less sense the story makes in my opinion, which I will get into.
            Thackery is actually who found Mally, and that was after the H/ightopp residence had been burned down. Mally never learned about Hatter’s former name, at least not until C/heshire told her, because she never knew him as anything but Hatter.
            Whilst out looking for something that could be of help to them (Years before the Oraculum was found), Thackery came across a tiny thing left alone beneath a large leaf. She was extremely tiny, frail, didn’t seem like she’d survive long. Neither of them were sure of her species yet, but Hatter took to taking care of her. She was raised by the Hatter and the Hare, and much of who she is comes from the two of them.
            As with the fact she didn’t know either Queen, nor Sta/yne prior to Irace/beth’s takeover, Mallymkun never really came to know what the real personality of any of them was. She knew Ira/cebeth was evil, St/ayne was her lapdog, and M/irana was the truest good, because that is what Hatter told her. Hatter raised her, Hatter trained her, and the main reason Mally knew Miran/a could have the potential of acting just as bad as her sister was because she saw a moment in which Mira/na went dark. But she believed Mir/ana had to be the better ruler, because Hatter said so!
            Each held their own capabilities, T/hackery with his minor Telekinesis (often used only with teacups, but occasionally bolders as well.), Hatter with his ability to conjoin objects in his mind, as long as they were able to fit together (worked brilliantly with creating delicacies in food, something both he and Th/ackery could do) but Mally wasn’t like that. She had none of the gifts they possessed, which led to Hatter teaching her much more fighting techniques, Thackery as well, until she had to start teaching herself the rest. Her physical capabilities go far beyond that of most of those in Won/derland, in spite of her small size. (only grew stronger when she got bigger.
           Mally had once gone undercover in the Red Kingdom, which she doesn’t entirely remember. An accidental mishap caused her to turn humanoid then, and St/ayne quickly figured out who she was– hard not to when she looked so much like her mother. He’d taken to manipulating her, which she fell for for a time, even developing a slight crush on St/ayne himself, though she saw his true nature not long after, and more of a fear grew from that.
C/HESHIRE CAT
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There actually aren’t many changes to the C/heshire Cat, or many additions I’ve made personally (my friends who write him do a far more beautiful job of that.) I do include the reference in the book, however, where The Du/chess views the Che/shire Cat as her pet. Whilst C/hesh doesn’t see himself as her pet, he does take advantage of her spoiling of him. C/heshire also wasn’t exactly effected by the spell, since he already could transform into a humanoid form, as well as copy others. 
THE RE/D KNAVE 
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Il/osovic S/tayne, has the most changes I’ve made next to mally. Mostly due to the fact that his character, in my opinion, was extremely underused. With all the hints and inferences made for his character, they didn’t really deliver. He could easily have been the real main villain, much of what happened could easily have been caused by him, much of which I have here, though I do have to make edits to that. 
Mainly, I view Sta/yne as the whistleblower. he purposely ensured the rift already forming between the siblings grew worse, he set them up against each other, he was behind every bit of the plot, or encouraged it forward, just to ensure he had a shot at whichever queen became superior. He lost with M/irana, he wasn’t going to lose with Irace/beth. He couldn’t stand being around Ir/acebeth, but like hell was he gonna let her know that. He’d flirt, he’d manipulate, and he’d slyly degrade her until she felt like she needed him. He emotionally manipulated her to the point he was in control, and he wasn’t planning on letting that control slide.
He was also, at one point, friends with Hatter. St/ayne was a poor boy growing up, but Ta/rrant hardly judged him, but as St/ayne grew bigger, jealousy over how his sister was treated with love, whilst his mother harmed him, his brother was popular and he was ignored, and his growing desire to gain so much power, nobody could hurt him again, that forged a rift in their friendship. By the time they were adults, and Sta/yne already hurt M/irana, he encouraged the destruction of Hatter’s village and family, shattering whatever bond they formed as kids, as well as ensuring Hatter knew what pain was. Something, he felt, he did not know.
WHI/TE RABBIT
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Whi/te Rabbit, by contrast, is starkly different. M/cTwisp is an agent of Time, fulfilling his role as the guide to Alice, and M/cTwisp is likely older than most others– though, in some situations, he hardly realizes it himself. His only responsibility is to guide Alice to her destiny, each time the clock turns. Sometimes, when a new Alice is born, he forgets himself, practically reborn in the moment. He’s a stopwatch given to him by Time itself, allowing M/cTwisp to temporarily freeze Time in a moment to accomplish a task, and the time traversement of Wonderland’s portals through other realms (many of which transfere through M/cTwisps own halls), Time never passes for M/cTwisp. Not in the sense it does for others. Whilst months would pass for a normal creature who left Wonderland and returned a week later, hardly a day would pass for M/cTwisp. Time always occurs as a constant for him, no matter how it occurs for others. He is also capable of traversing to exact points in Upperland’s time should he need to. 
MOCK TURTLE
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    An extremely apathetic man, the Mock Turtle was never entirely a turtle, and never entirely anything else. He longed for the days he was in the sea, until he was cursed to live between lands. A ‘teacher’ in a way, though his version of school far different than others are accustomed to. He ‘taught’ the Queens, but eventually was sent off back to the sea by the King for disrespecting M/irana during a lecture, mostly for stating she hadn’t the heart to be a Queen, she barely had the heart to swim in the sea. He had been particularly kind to Ira/cebeth, however.
THE CATERPILLAR
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A//bsolem, the wise. Many view him as the all knowing in Wonderland, yet many still only hear him talk in riddles and puzzles. Mallymkun really hates the way he talks, tbh. She hates how he makes a point to make it so you have to figure something out on your own. But, she likes how his words can be taken wrong and prove her point, even if her point is actually wrong. 
DODO BIRD
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Uilleam held full belief in Alice, and, after narrowly escaping the Jub Jub bird, would later return to his post as a mentor in the W/hite Queen’s court. A nobleman, he’s seen as wise, often kind, though he holds the mentality that nobody should have to lose for one to win– something that kept him from fighting in the war at the start. He is extremely good with kids, but many adults tend to dislike him, except when he takes their side. In certain situations, however, he will state that there needs to be a winner, which is what led to him finally taking part in the resistance, and helping to take the R/ed Queen down. 
BAYARD
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The most loyal of beings, Ba/yard was forced to serve the R/ed Queen for a great deal of time, but only so he could protect his wife and pups. M/allymkun used him as a sort of horse due to her size at the time, and he hadn’t minded. Often, he comes over to Mally, acting much like a father figure to her, as he does on occasion with Alice. Ba/yard cares far more for people than he likely should, but would risk anyone else for the safety of his kids and wife, whom he holds in the highest of regards. 
THE QUEENS
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The tart thing was the stupidest thing i’ve ever seen, i’m just pointing that out right now. I believe there was a rift long before any incident. I/racebeth’s accident wasn’t M/irana’s fault, and M/irana never meant to be malicious to her sister. Ira/cebeth was spoiled when she was young, but when M/irana was born, most of her parents attention went to her– and I/racebeth was left mostly to her tutors, trying to raise her to being a good queen. 
S/tayne was initially attracted to M/irana, though he played nice with both princesses. When they were younger, S/tayne had started courting M/irana– though, it was kept private, the lowly stable boy (though, eventually gaining a promotion to a knight, with the held of M/irana) being considered too lowly for a princess. Though, S/tayne often had a wandering eye, and betrayed M/irana– which led to her lashing out on him, and causing his loss of an eye.
He kept his position, having glamored his way into the hearts of the princesses parents (a gift which ran in his family– he could bewitch and charm others into falling in a form of love with him, trick them into adoring him, manipulate to new bounds.) M/irana never trusted him again. The eye was ruled as an accident on assignment, and the rumors of Mi/rana’s mistreatment of a man she wasn’t officially with (S/tayne, spreading the rumor that a woman flirted with him, and whilst he hadn’t responded, the disastardly princess was so filled with jealously over not getting her way for once, she harmed him for it. ) grew, and he ensured I/racebeth would learn his version. 
I/racebeth, already feeling emotional distraught from her parents, became an easier target for S/tayne. When their parents died ,and M/irana was labeled next in line, S/tayne took it as a chance to send Ir/acebeth into a fit of rage, and have her J/abberwocky attack the H/ightopp clan, taking the crown and becoming the Queen. He also whispered the rumors of infidelity of I/racebeth’s husband to her people, ensuring Ir/acebeth would hear of the faults. The Red K/ing’s demise being an aftereffect of St/ayne ensuring Ira/cebeth thought he cheated on her with M/irana, an ultimate crime, and S/tayne made sure he was there to pick up the pieces. His adoring of her keeping his place held high, and ensured he got his way.
ALICE
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breathes in, breathes out, M/ALLYMKUN DOESNT HATE ALICE!!!! NOT IN THE JEALOUSY SENSE!!! In fact, Mally’s distaste for Alice goes far beyond the stupid jealousy people think it’s about. Because, don’t forget, when Hatter said Alice was the right Alice, her treatment of Alice instantly changed– she was nice to her, she answered her questions, it was when Hatter’s life was put at risk because of Alice that Mally treated her badly again.
In the sense of my blog (and, when Mally first unlocks her powers, mostly) Alice had finally come back. Hatter missed her, and she left without a second thought. Mally didn’t like how Hatter perked up at Alice’s return, she hated how he suddenly started caring more for her than his friends, in her sights. 
She wasn’t jealous, Mally might have been in love with Tare, but she didn’t care if he didn’t fall in love with her. For flips sake, she stated directly that she thought he had a thing for M/irana, and seemed all dreamy about the idea.  You know she was shipping whitehats. 
But, Alice was just a child when Mally first saw her. Mally was training all her life to be a hero, she wanted to be the one to save Wonderland, then they found the o/raculum– and Alice was the labeled hero. Alice, upon returning, didn’t want to be the hero, and Mally hated that fact.
Mally was afraid, but she jumped at the chance to take Alice’s place as the hero. But she wasn’t allowed, she couldn’t save the world, that was Alice’s responsibility. 
And Alice only killed one creature.
And she was the hero.
Mally trained all her life for that, and she was pushed aside for Alice. Mally had been with Hatter through her entire life, she’d seen him at his lowest (including a time he couldn’t control his own actions anymore, an older headcanon of mine where he had accidentally hurt her because of his swings, which is what caused him to become so guilt ridden, he started being able to more easily be pulled from that state of mind– he didn’t want to hurt his friends ever again.) M/allymkun loved Hatter through everything, she never left him, she never left her friends, she stayed with them and she did everything she could to save them. 
But Alice was he hero.
And when Alice comes back again years later, and they’re faced against S/tayne again, Mally’s put in mortal danger.
But Hatter goes to Alice first.
not because he thinks she’s more important, Hatter weighed in the options, he thought Mally would be able to pull herself out of trouble, but Alice might not be able to. He went to Alice because he didn’t think she could save herself like Mally could. But that caused Mally to fall, and disappear for weeks while people thought she was dead. This is what broke the spell her mother placed on her, blocking her powers from being used, and keeping the rest of her family from being able to find her, but she was left abandoned, alone, and in pain, because Alice came first.
And Alice, thinking with her worlds point of view instead of theirs, thought Mally couldn’t have survived the fall. There wasn’t a way she could have lived from where she fell, and no way she could have gotten out of the water.
Mally thought they didn’t bother to look, but their search efforts were pointless.
She came back, she found out Alice said something, and she thinks her pain is Alice’s fault. If Alice wasn’t around, they could have found another way to defeat I/racebeth, they could have wom another way. Any Mally wouldn’t have had to experience pain.
Then there was the fact the marks of her father’s bloodline started appearing on her skin, marks remembered belonging to a clan that tried to destroy the royalty. Up until her father (whom nobody knows was her father), who fought for the King, was his greatest warrior, and was set to marry either M/irana or I/racebeth. He hadn’t, and her mother framed him to have killed the King and Queen. He disappeared, and the family was forever seen to be a collection of traitors.
Mally didn’t know any of that, she can’t even read to learn about further history beyond I/racebeth’s betrayal. 
People treated her differently, and she could only hold Alice responsible for that. 
Mally doesn’t hate Alice because she’s jealous of her and Hatter, she’s pissed off that Alice was (accidentally) the cause of her pain, and thinks that if Alice weren’t around, she wouldn’t have had to suffer at all.
Though, certain things started the second Mally became a humanoid– her eyes were different, but the resemblance to her mother was too strong to be ignored. It was pretty clear she was Feina’s daughter, especially to M/irana and I/racebeth– they had to see it, because they grew up with Feina, and spent a fair bit of time under her care. 
THE D/UCHESS
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The D/uchess was a childhood friend of the Princesses, thought she wasn’t a royal at the time. Her mother was the former Duchess, and her father had died at a young age, shortly after her younger brother, I/losovic was born. Their mother treated her and her brother with great care, but I/losovic was treated with terrors– often beaten, no matter what he did. This was due to the work their mother took up to keep them in position, even if they no longer were wealthy as they were. Allergies were formed which led to a great deal of violence on their mothers part, and I/losovic held the closest range to her. 
Upon becoming a Duchess herself, she was always kind and well treated. C/heshire being a dear friend of hers, whom she considered her dear pet. Often she’d treat him to the greatest of delights. 
However, her friendship with the Queens had shattered overtime, due to I/losovic ensuring she held some form of hardship– he tricked the siblings into believing her horrid and evil, trying to tear the titles from their hands and steal their father from their mother. The D/uchess was banished, once the R/ed Queen took control, though she never took full stride in it. The only one who knows her whereabouts is C/heshire. 
MALLYS EXTENDED FAMILY
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Her biological father, Vas Moraj. He is Gethris younger half brother, and is known to be the strongest, and most strange member of their family. The Moraj line was long known to be filled with traitors to the court, but Vas wanted to protect the royalty. He was the child of Fate, and though not exactly a deity himself, did possess far stronger powers than the rest of his family. He’d fallen in love with Feina in his youth, and had an affair with her,which led to Miseris and Mallymkun. He also raised her elder children, Seracien and Torielle, as his own. He wasn’t around when Mally and Mason were born, though, as Feina had trapped him in a pocket universe, to keep him out of her way. 
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Feina Laquer Morae, an extremely powerful sorceress. She was only around 20 or so years older than the Queens, and being Wonderlands slowed aging, appeared around their age most of her life. She trained Mirana briefly in magic arts, and always tried to encourage Iracebeth not to let go of her title, that she could be the greatest queen of all, so long as she didn’t take no for an answer. A creature of chaos, and an empath, Feina held the power to force horrid memories back on a person, to force emotions on someone through touch, and held telepathy and telekinesis, among other things.  Her powers hadn’t transferred to Mallymkun nearly as much as her looks– out of all four of her children, Mallymkun held the greatest resemblance to her. 
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Miseris, or Mason, for short, was raised by his uncle (whom he believed to be his father), Gethris. He was raised with the impression that his cousins, Jynx and Hayze, were his sisters, but over time, as his powers over the mind increased, he came to learn the truth. Especially when he met his elder half siblings (half cousins), and Seracien told him the truth. The rest, Mason worked out for himself, and he knew two things for sure– he was going to be one of the strongest members of his family, and when Mallymkun grew her powers, their powers combined could make them deities. 
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Gethris horribly mistreated his own children, manipulating them into his own persnoal servants, and he hadn’t done much better with Miseris. Gethris partnered with Feina to destroy Vas, which feina agreed once she learned Vas was intending on denying the King’s wishes, so he could marry Feina instead of the princess. Gethris only got his hands on one of the twins, however, as Feina betrayed her half of the deal before he betrayed her. A spell was placed on Mallymkun, which kept her powers hidden away, her appearance altered into a mouse-like form, and her overall existence from Gethris knowledge or ability to find. As Gethris lost his powers centuries before, he planned on using Vas children to fulfill the prophecy– for their family to ascend– only he intended on taking Miseris and Mallymkun’s powers for himself, and destroy the rest of Wonderland.
When Gethris had gotten ahold of Mally, he tortured her in attempts to unlock all of her power. Miseris eventually let her out, and she ran off, Though, Gethris is always searching, and didn’t plan to stop.
TIME, SPACE, FATE (not pictured)
each their own being. Fate defines the future, Time controls itself, and Space alters and holds between each realm. Fate chose to enhance the Moraj family through leaving a piece of themself in Vas, and create the prophecy regarding Mallymkun and Miseris. 
Time is seen more as a neutral character, caring about securing itself through the world, and keeping fate’s reign.
space is above itself, but fate decides the ultimate. 
I do have a lot of other characters and info, but that can be saved for a …shorter post…
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rexsilentium · 8 years ago
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(>o.o)>{my url}
❚ : : — ♚ Send me any url  │ Accepting!!
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EYYYYYYYY I was worried about you for a second hope you are doing alright. ♥ Fair warning for the song: May be angsty most likely XD sorry not sorry
Do I Follow Them?: Yea I do. Lol why Wouldn’t I follow you and your presh bby.
Why Did I Follow Them?: Um. It was through Dex high. but like I love silvally. also, I brought back Aitwo/Ambertwo for you because I REALLY wanted to like have a legit reason OUTSIDE of Dex high to follow you xD
Do We RolePlay?: Yes we do on both Red and Aitwo. Kinda glad I made Ai a sideblog too so that way I can keep track easier. THough I am proabbly gonna say that for the next few answers I am probably gonna focus more on your interactions with Ai rather than Red. Mainly because while we have a Dex high thread for Red, (also I’m sorry I still have that thread I just need to find motivation to do my drafts for him atm im so sorry) Our thread for AI is what AMKES ME LIVE AND BREATH. no really, god I just love that relationship between the two I freaking CRAI.
Do I Want To Role Play With Them:Yes. of course always. For both Red and Ai.For Ai: Honestly I will ALWAYS say yes to all the threads and asks and interactions with her. Mainly because its just PERFECT. I have the PERFECT SONGS FOR THEM FDSJKAFHDSLFFDALSJD. No but really, Fluff and Angst and the combination of them is what I would die for and These two definitly have room for that, so obviously I am always going to want to RP with you on that.For Red: Yes I actually do, because unlike Ai, i think these two would have such a different atmosphere. I mean Not anything bad, seeing as Red loves Pokemon, but I should say that while your character is like a big brother to Ai, Red would most likely be a protective father to him. He’s really defensive on the harming and pain of pokemon so Red may come of really protective, and that is always something I would be more than willing to see how it goes. That and it would actually be nice to actually incorporate his use of aura manipulation to actually have some unique conversation between the two. Again this would be for the main verse rather than the Dex high verse. heh… yea… 
An AU Idea For Our Muses:For Ai: Hmmm… Well I mean we could do  a “faded” AU I guess. This goes in turn with one of the songs for the muses. But essentially, one of them gets “lost.” Now we could discuss what that means but lets take this example. Muse A dies somehow and then comes back, but with no recollection of anything. (Maybe the muse doesnt even have to die maybe there was this tragic accident where it cause the muse to forget everything) (Think of it like the movie The Vow – minus the romantic shit). Anyway, it pains Muse B to see Muse A like that. Mainly because Muse A doesn’t really consider Muse B as a close friend and kinda just ignores them a lot. Now depending on what you wanna do but maybe Muse B is trying REALLY hard to like fix things, even though its not really something that can be fixed and it’ll never be what it used to be. Obviously because why would somebody want to like hang out with a complete stranger that seems to be really clingy? lmao??? riiiiightttt. No but like Really. I think it would be a really good idea because while Muse A is like ladedaa moving on or whatever because how can they start back up on something they have absolutely no recollection of. But Muse B is just absolutely torn and heartbroken and yadda yadda yadda. Oh bonus part: Muse A doesn’t really try to help ease the pain at first because why would they? Its not like the “know” them. But for Muse B its hard to keep to themselves because its like one day it was like they were extremely close and the next day they have to pretend they werent so close and its hurts them to pretend– like they cant. Okay sorry for the rambling. but thats basically what I was thinking for AI. 
For Red: Hmmm… Oh I go it. Your muse is like a living and breathing “experiment” and Red is just like one of the lab assistants that is working on the project. Everybody else treats silvally as if they had NO emotions. Just a number for the experiment. There is no emotion whatsoever. But it tears Red to be so “mechanical” and technical on something that lives, breaths, and feels just as he does. He has to put some humanity. Thus, he’s the only one who stays late nights to be with Silvally and make it more humane for him. Or it could be that Red was an experiment too but a (semi)failed one seeing as he can’t talk and refuses to write in a language the the other people can understand so they just keep him there as an assistant. IDK?? I mean we can really work on this if you want. Consider it kinda like what they do in Logan (Have you seen the movie?) Im not really gonna spoil anything but they do go a little in depth with some experiment. So perhaps they are trying to create the perfect mutant soldier through Silv. Seeing as Red was just a failed human trial, Red takes pity on Silv and just wants to make it better for him.
Umm… I mean I can come up with other AUs but I think Imma just leave this for now.
A Song For Our Muses:For Ai: Faded – Alan Walker ( && Remix )So not sorry for this bahahahaha. But it perfect!!! amirite? I really could see this though. Specially for the AU I mentioned above, but also in general. I could just see Silv’s decision just devastate Ai and she leaves. And then she just gets lost. She like never returns even though she said she would and that leaves Silv to himself and wonder wtf happened. Nem voice: OPPS DID I DO THAT? MY BAAAAD!!
For Both Red and Ai: Safe and Sound – Cover ( Original )I mean Yea I guess?? lol my baaadddd
Do I Ship Our Muses?:For Ai: YEs!! I mean, we have already established what kind of ship anyway.  I think its just kinda always acknowledged.
For Red: Eh, I think I mentioned this. Maybe as a protective guardian sure. But other than that probably not. Maybe close friends? But idk??
What I Think About The Mun:Mun is a very bootiful person and I genuinely hope you are doing okay. Super friendly and I love it. Once again another person that makes me feel welcome in the community and I probably cannot thank you enough for dealing with a lil’ shit like me. ^-^ No really stay beautiful alright. Like all the other people. You’re great. I hope you are doing well and all. 
Overall Opinion:10 out of 10 would absolutely follow without a doubt. Sorry I dont really have much else to say? Oh We should talk more, there. That’s all. lol.
Blog Rate: 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10
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procrastinatorproject · 3 years ago
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Okay, I apologize in advance, but we are back to the "Lili needs to experiment on tumblr functions"-hour. Because when I answered an ask just now (on web), I was put in the beta post editor, and didn't have an option to switch back to normal. And I need to experiment with that for a moment...
Yup, this is the beta editor and I can't switch back to standard.
Right. Guess it's time for an experiment. Feel free to ignore the rest of this post ;9
Now here's the thing. As cleverer people then me realized a while ago, if the beta editor is implemented on web the same way it is on mobile, that puts an automatic 10-image limit on your posts. Currently, that limit apparently already exists on web if you create an image post, but, crucially, it doesn't apply to text posts. In the new editor (as has been the case on mobile for a long while now), this distinction between post types is no longer made, so on mobile, the 10 image limit applies across the board.
As you will know, I run a Star Trek: Picard-centric sideblog, @mappinglasirena, where I answer questions and do deep dives (very occasionally). These are always accompanied by a ton of images, and because so far, they were always text posts where the 10 image limit doesn't apply, I could make that work.
I am very, very scared that if the beta editor is made permanent, the 10 image limit will become a hard and fast rule. Because at that point, mapping would become extremely hard, if not impossible.
I and a bunch of other people have told @staff (i.e. the support team) about this, and the reaction was actually "it's very good to know this is an important function for fandom blogs like yours, thanks for letting us know." But of course that only means so much.
So. Since I sometimes write mapping posts in reply to asks, and asks apparently now only allow you to use the beta post editor, let's give this baby a whirl. Here is my attempt to add more than 10 images to this post.
First observation: I can't actually move an image around inside the post to wedge it in between written paragraphs. Looks like this editor treats even several paragraphs of text as one long block, no matter how many empty lines you put between them. I'm starting to think this whole "can only use beta" situation might actually be a glitch, rather than intentional... You can still load images in between paragraphs by clicking on the camera when you hover your cursor over an empty line, but A) that is SO MUCH MORE WORK THAN JUST DRAGGING AND DROPPING GOOD GRIEF! and B): If you accidentally put it in the wrong place or want to move it around later, you can't. That sucks 🙃 I shall write a bug report about that...
Second observation: If you - cut more than one paragraph of text from anywhere in your doc - have an image in your post - and paste the to paragraphs anywhere after the image (yes, even with another image or text in between), the pasted paragraphs are automatically formatted as indented. 🙃 Now that is definitely a bug, because that is just fucking weird...
Third observation: if you drag and drop an image into the post, it is automatically added behind the first paragraph. Now that is just frigging aggravating! I had finally figured out how to make the drag & drop place images exactly where I need them, and now I'm gonna have to go back to dragging pics across the entirety of my 2k word posts? Nuuuuuuuu! ToT (And apparently I can't even zoom out anymore to make the dragging it down the entire post easier. Whhyyyyyyyy, tumblr?!?!?) BUT! I can paste pictures at the position of my cursor, apparently. So that's... something?
Okay, let's try this!
1.
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3.
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4. & 5. (at least I can do this, finally)
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6.
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7. & 8.
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9.
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10.
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11. AND THE MOMENT OF TRUTH............
............
It Doesn't Work
GRAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
Well, that's my Mapping Deep Dives finished then 🙃
fuck.
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