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Oh no I just realized.

Hallmark Channel is always doing pride and prejudice remakes/reboots and I write Hallmark channel novels.

Which means I need, I NEED, to do a Shivadh P&P take. Or at least a Shivadh Austen novel. My preference would be Persuasion, which would be difficult because it's fundamentally about class, but also super funny.

Is there a Season in Askazer-Shivadlakia? Are there a million Coming Out jokes to be made? THE BALL JOKES. Does Michaelis make them honestly or does he not even know?!

Jane Austen, you have been dead for decades and you're still fucking with me!

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Holy SHIT I've never even HEARD of this and that sounds spectacular. I am making a grocery order immediately.

In a fit of whimsy after reading @copperbadge's The Chicken Salad War, I went ahead and made myself some good ol' Dirt Cake!

I have fond memories of this being my favorite dessert as a child, available only from That One Restaurant of which I remember nothing other than my love for its kid-perfect dessert of pudding, oreos, and gummi worms. I haven't had it since, but armed with a chocolate pudding recipe and a pack of oreos and gummi worms, I was able to relive a piece of my childhood, and you know what? It's still pretty good!

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Oh buddy, start with Fete For A King, the Trash Tower will not disappoint :D if you haven't got the cash hit me up and I'll send you the PDF.

In a fit of whimsy after reading @copperbadge's The Chicken Salad War, I went ahead and made myself some good ol' Dirt Cake!

I have fond memories of this being my favorite dessert as a child, available only from That One Restaurant of which I remember nothing other than my love for its kid-perfect dessert of pudding, oreos, and gummi worms. I haven't had it since, but armed with a chocolate pudding recipe and a pack of oreos and gummi worms, I was able to relive a piece of my childhood, and you know what? It's still pretty good!

[copperbadge]

I love that a side effect of me writing about Noah horrifying everyone with his American foodways is that at least half a dozen people have been like "Hey....damn I haven't had Dirt Cake in ages...that was the good shit..." :D

I myself have never had dirt cake -- I don't like oreos so I never wanted it as a kid, and I guess I just never went to any parties where it was served. I do remember ads for Jello pudding using it as a staple recipe in old magazines for YEARS.

In a fit of whimsy after reading @copperbadge's The Chicken Salad War, I went ahead and made myself some good ol' Dirt Cake!

I have fond memories of this being my favorite dessert as a child, available only from That One Restaurant of which I remember nothing other than my love for its kid-perfect dessert of pudding, oreos, and gummi worms. I haven't had it since, but armed with a chocolate pudding recipe and a pack of oreos and gummi worms, I was able to relive a piece of my childhood, and you know what? It's still pretty good!

[copperbadge]

Which was in fact Harryhausen's last flick!

We still quote lines from it to each other in my family. :D RELEASE THE KRAKEN!

people who learned about greek mythology due reasons that DONT involve having read percy jackson at 12 freak me out, like what the FUCK was going on in your life that you found out that zeus turned into a pigeon to woo his wife like HOW

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Please Do Not

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Throwback to when the cryptids were just emerging from kittenhood and Dearborn hadn't yet learned how to use the brakes.

[ID: A video with only ambient sound of Polk the tabby, paws clenched on a blanket that is bumping up and down with my hand underneath it; she has several reactions to various movements, trying to "capture" what's under the blanket, until at the last second she is bowled out of frame by Dearborn the tortie running directly into, and then over, her.]

Polk is a mighty hunter. Dearborn is…well, she’s special.

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Given the Welsh influence, does Askazer-Shivadlakia have a version of the oggie?

WELL IT DAMN WELL DOES NOW.

I'm not sure of the timing -- the Welsh were arriving in 1700 or so and I'm not sure of the timeline for coal mining in specific, although of course there has been mining in Wales since prehistory. (Though probably not oggies.)

But there's been a strong relationship between Wales and Askazer-Shivadlakia since Welsh soldiers first settled there, as evidenced by the Shivadh-to-Cardiff-University pipeline. I would imagine there's been a steady trickle of immigration back and forth that has cross-pollinated quite a bit.

Looking at the recipe, I think it would be fairly easy to make kosher -- just sub in olive oil for the butter and lard in the crust -- and onions-and-potatoes are a staple of some branches of Jewish cuisine to start with, not to mention lamb.

Makes me want to do a story about some restaurant in Fons-Askaz like Lito's Empanadas here in Chicago -- a small storefront that does oggies stuffed with all kinds of different fillings, traditional and seafood and pizza and sweet dates. Great drunk food I bet.

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A reminder that Emma Thompson's response to winning a Golden Globe for the screenplay of this film is the finest acceptance speech ever to be given.

i’m reading emma thompson’s diaries from the filming of sense and sensibility and there are some really great bits

danny de vito sent good-luck flowers on their first day of shooting

in the published draft of the script, colonel brandon and willoughby fight a duel offscreen after brandon confronts him about impregnating beth, brandon’s ward

“kissing hugh [grant] was very lovely. glad i invented it. can’t rely on austen for a snog, that’s for sure. we shoot the scene on a hump-backed bridge. two swans float into shot as if on cue. everyone coos. ‘get rid of them,’ says ang [lee]. ‘too romantic.’

for a number of outdoor scenes, they would fire a shotgun in the air just before the cameras started rolling to get the local crow population to shut the fuck up for a few minutes

there was a dedicated line item in the budget for hiring flocks of sheep for exterior shots, ang lee was determined to use them as often as he could

“later found ang looking at the estuary with a mournful expression. i went and stood beside him. after a moment he said, waving towards the water, ‘tide goes in, tide goes out, tide goes in, tide goes out — and still no sex.’ ‘do you miss it?’ i enquired, after i’d stopped laughing. he nodded sadly. his family won’t be back for weeks.”

while filming the scenes at the palmers’ house with the screaming baby, it turns out that “we’ve hired the calmest babies in the world to play the hysterical thomas. one did finally start to cry but stopped every time chris yelled ‘action’. later: babies smiled all afternoon. buddhist babies. they didn’t cry once. we, however, were all in tears by 5 p.m.”

“very nice lady served us drinks in hotel and was followed in by a cat. we all crooned at it. alan [rickman] to cat (very low and meaning it): ‘fuck off’. the nice lady didn’t turn a hair. the cat looked slightly embarrassed but stayed.”

during the london ballroom scene hugh laurie kept treading on the train of imelda staunton’s gown, “which pulled it down so far it exposed her boobs. keep it in, i said, but she wouldn’t.”

“sunday, 11 june: drank far too much last night and woke at 5:30 a.m. could’ve gone on drinking all night. quite grateful for a hangover, it provides a bit of peace. walked on to my balcony completely naked last night and took the couple that have moved into the suite next door slightly by surprise. walked back in calmly affecting insouciance and then bit all my pillows, one after the other.”

while resetting a scene involving a carriage, “ang rode off on a bicycle and didn’t return. found him locked in the loo at trafalgar, having broken the key. he’s being rescued at present.”

“noon. finish scene with alan. me: ‘oh! i’ve just ovulated.’ alan (long pause): ‘thank you for that.’”

“hugh g. in a spot of bother up la, apparently. something to do with a blow job. it’s all right for some, i thought.”

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All I could think on reading this, sadly, was

"Wow, you really came through on that hand job."

"Parker, stop."

"I've never had a hand job before."

"Parker, I swear to -- "

"DID YOU ENJOY THE HAND JOB ELLIOT?"

"DAMMIT PARKER."

I was looking at Leverage fic on AO3, read the tag "hand job" and thought "I don't remember that episode" in all seriousness before it hit me

[copperbadge]

Hey, I’m not sure the coming heatwave will impact you in Chicago, but just wanted to give you and your readers a heads up about a possible adderall (and maybe other medications, consult your doctor or pharmacist, etc) side effect of increasing heat sensitivity. Stay cool and safe, please pet your cats for me.

I'm so sorry that I'm replying to this much later than intended, after the heat wave has passed, but *looks out window* I doubt it will be the last. And I did read this when it came through and it was in fact helpful. Last weekend I was walking home, a distance of less than half a mile, when I started to feel unwell -- overheated, fuzzy, nauseated -- and would have been much more confused about why the relatively mild heat was impacting me so heavily if I hadn't remembered your ask. I'm a decent judge of my staying power so I knew I'd get home fine as long as I kept in the shade, but you saved me a fright :) Hopefully I can now pass that on to others.

Remember kids, check that big page of fine print that shows up with your meds (or attached to the online prescription record, for some), and make sure you're taking it when you should, eating when and what you should, and that you know about the potential side effects.

[copperbadge]

I know your folks are out in East Texas somewhere from your Austin Airport Potato Wedges posts. I hope they are safe and well ❤️

They are well, thank you! And would be lightly amused to be considered East Texas :D (They're in what's known as the Central Texas Hill Country -- which I say not to make fun at all, only so people won't yell about it in the notes.)

For those looking to help, I know my folks are supporting Mercy Chefs and the Uvalde Foundation for Kids, and their neighbors have mentioned giving to the Flood Relief Fund, which will pass on pooled funds to vetted support for a number of affected counties and communities.

[copperbadge]

advice on cooking/frying tofu?

"Make someone else do it." :D

In all seriousness, I haven't worked with tofu much; I don't mind it, but it has a slightly bitter taste to me that means I don't think about it as a first option when grocery shopping. Thus I don't have many tricks or trained skills to deal with it. I don't love the texture of uncooked or baked tofu, but mine either sticks to the pan or doesn't fry properly on nonstick. It's clearly a skills issue rather than any innate criticism of the mighty curd, but it means I don't have much to offer you.

That said, Readership, you're up! Impart your collective knowledge unto this aspirant.

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Another long-overdue podfic share!

Podfic of "Arms And The Man" by @copperbadge

His best friend keeps cockblocking him, his relationship guru is a computer, and he might be gay. The future is very complicated.

"Arms And The Man" on AO3

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I ended up going on one of the brick tours! It was super fun actually. The guy put together a really solid tour, was very interesting and easy to talk to, happy to answer questions. And I feel like going on specifically a brick tour of Chicago ends up selecting for people who know a certain baseline amount about architecture, Chicago history, brick making, or all three, so the people who were on the tour were also nice and asked very interesting questions. Would 100% go on another one for one of the other neighborhoods. And when he told us about the stickers he was selling, for one of them, $1 of every sale goes to a charity for trans youth. Very solid recommendation.

Oh yay, that's such fun! Drop the name if you want to, I'm interested in attending (I have no idea if there's more than one but honestly at this point it would not surprise me, People Love Bricks apparently). And lovely that he's fundraising for such a good cause too.

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I'm working this morning on building a list from our database of everyone within a certain distance of an event we're holding. I was recalculating how to do that search -- normally we search within X miles of our address here in Chicago, but in this case it was actually more effective to search within X miles of Aurora, Illinois. So I had to find a zipcode in Aurora, and I just randomly picked a sports bar on Googlemaps and used their zipcode.

But that was a spectacularly successful choice, as it turned out, in terms of the data it returned. So I was like "Ah, the train goes to Aurora, maybe I should go visit that bar! I wonder what their menu is like." And it's pretty good, except...

They have this one menu item.

The Warm Pretzel Log.

Which...is not what I would call a pretzel breadstick...

Especially if they looked like this.

I mean...I assume they must be doing it on purpose, but still.

Now I definitely need to go. I want to experience the Warm Pretzel Log for myself.

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Hi Sam ❤️ my dad (82, lives with us in Maryland) watched some cooking show that had “mustard relish” that you put on hotdogs. It is not sold around here and bottles online are ridiculous prices. Is this really a Chicago thing, like the show implied? I know your love of mustard, but I think I remember an equal hatred of both hot dogs and pickles 🤷🏼‍♀️ I can’t imagine you’ve tried it, your love of trying disgusting food notwithstanding. 😂. Kisses to Dearborn and Polka Dot (my daughter’s getting a new kitten soon, I can’t wait to meet them!) ❤️🐈‍⬛🐕❤️

Oh, hello to your dad! Well, mustard relish is a thing you can put on a hot dog but it's not a Chicago thing that I've ever heard of. It's definitely not what goes on an official Chicago Style dog. I do actually love a hot dog, but I do not like most of what's on a Chicago Dog, relish included.

There's a lot that goes on one, but the relish is a neon green pickle relish, and the mustard is usually either Plochman's yellow mustard, Ballpark (now I think it's branded as Bertman Ballpark Mustard), or Koop's Yellow. My personal favorite Chicago grilling condiment is the grassy, aromatic celery salt -- I put it on burgers too.

If you want to give your dad some authentic Chicago flavor without building the whole messy salad, I recommend a nicely griddled dog in a poppyseed bun with Plochman's mustard, onions, and celery salt. If it's a Vienna Beef brand dog, so much the better, but it's tough to get those on the coasts.

Congrats on the new kitten! The cryptids send their regards :D