#oft-goes-awry

[copperbadge]

oft-goes-awry

... someone needs to buy Ephraim a lot of Williams College merch. Because we are the Ephs. After founder Ephraim Williams. And I think he'd enjoy wearing all the purple cow stuff.

Huh, that's quite timely and interesting actually. There's literally a passage in the story I just posted a scene from, concerning Ephraim and school:

He had some trouble at school sometimes, but his teachers couldn't deny that he was a good, earnest student. He could have gone to college, but he had a good job at the garage the family owned, doing detailing and van art, and his parents made it clear they'd like him to go to college but weren't going to demand a degree at the expense of his mental health. Besides, he brought in business. 

And I'm noting that Williams College has a one-semester maritime program at Mystic-Seaport where you learn maritime history and law and culture. Now who do we know who has a penchant for boats...

Noah and Ephraim are, especially as younger men, sort of like planets in orbit; they do separate, sometimes for long periods, they just always come back into proximity. And Ephraim's well smart enough to go to college, it's just that up until he was a little older, he wouldn't handle the stress and the strangers well. But if, say, Noah were to do the Mystic-Seaport semester, possibly even as a guest lecturer given his qualifications, Ephraim might tag along and find that he likes Williams and is comfortable enough there to stay. (I realize that the maritime program and the actual school are not in proximity but presumably Noah would have business at the school at times, and might end up getting Ephraim housing there on the cheap.) He's really only ever experienced UCSC, which is massive, so he might find he's actually okay at a school like Williams, which is about the size of my own undergrad. It's possible that with his portfolio, he might even be able to get into the Art History MA program without an undergraduate degree. Especially if Eddie or Grandmother Patricia decide Williams could use a new endowed scholarship program for nontraditional students.

Noah at that point will be touring anyway, doing stand-up, so there's no reason for Eph to stay either in Santa Luna or Fons-Askaz. Say Noah's 23 when he finishes up the guest professorship, Ephraim would be 26, graduate two years later -- and given the story I want to tell about Noah in his late twenties, that would time out nicely.

I'll have to tuck it away for consideration if/when I get that far. I like that idea. The Banana Slug and the Purple Cow return to the Little Country By The Sea. :D

[sanerontheinside]

oft-goes-awry

replied to your post

“9, 10, 11. TELL ME ALL YOUR SECRETS.”

Life Day dinner in the Yoda/Dooku/Qui-Gon/Xanatos/Obi-Wan/Anakin/Ahsoka lineage would be a TRIP. Like, Mace Windu and Plo Koon taking bets on when the first spoonful of mashed potatoes gets thrown kind of trip.

I wandered way too far into my drafts and found this. I truly have no clue what it was. or when. but, hey, it’s a something! 🤲 

also @meggory84​ I had you tagged in this for jedi family shenanigans

--

“Grand-Padawan, stop texting under the table.” 

Ahsoka glanced up, wide-eyed. Nobody really paid her much mind when these dinners got going. But now she could see that Master Dooku’s jaw was clenched, and Master Yoda’s eyes were alight with some dangerous mischief. 

Dammit. She’d missed something. 

Obi-Wan sighed. “We can see you anyway—might as well just do it in the open.“ 

“Tell Plo I owe him ten credits,“ Qui-Gon added. 

“For what?“ 

Ahsoka barely held back an ill-advised eye-roll. 

Anakin had been focused on the dinner like any reasonable being (and he had every right—after all, he’d cooked it, and he was the only one who could eat some of the spicier dishes). Now, though, he too had realised he’d missed something, and his insatiable curiosity wouldn’t let a dead eopie lie. 

He also lacked—Master Plo would call it subtlety; Obi-Wan would not-sigh and say something like “tact, Ah-nakin, tact,“ and Qui-Gon would sigh like a soft summer breeze. 

Ahsoka, however, happened to know that Master Qui and Master Plo had a running bet about whether Master Yoda would ever fail to bring up that mysterious Event that only he and Master Dooku seemed to know about. 

And Ahsoka had missed it again. 

Somehow, any mention of The Event would invariably provoke Master Dooku—or rather, Master Yoda needling at him for the rest of the meal tended to do that. Master Dooku, however, would start looking for ways to distract himself. It didn’t work. 

Last time, Master Dooku had spent over a week holed up in the Archives after the dinner ended in disaster. Master Obi-Wan had had to brave Master Nu’s disapproval to bring the man food. 

To Ahsoka’s immense relief, the front door swished open. 

“HULLO! DID YA MISS ME?“ 

Relief was a distant, shriveled thing. In the landscape of Ahsoka’s mind, a fell wind blew, and ash drifted on the chilling currents in the air. 

Master Qui, on the other hand, perked up. “Xan! It’s so good to have you back, what opportune timing!” 

Ahsoka could just see the corner of Xan’s cloak as he froze in the midst of kicking off his boots with as much flair and noise as he could manage. She fancied she could just about hear a soft “ohshit.“ 

No one was safe when Master Qui got like this. 

“Join us!“ Qui-Gon continued, the grin on his face absolutely maleficent and aimed at his shrinking Grandmaster. On the other side of the table, she saw Master Obi-Wan’s hand clamp down on Master Dooku’s forearm. Master Dooku was probably remembering that time his cloak caught fire. 

It used to be that Xan would do his best to break up the fight, and take the blame for it. He also had... well... a propensity for pyrotechnics and other elaborate prankery, as Master Obi-Wan put it. Ahsoka still remembered the days when Master Qui had been utterly aghast at the results. They were, in a word, messy, and tended to involve potatoes. 

Lately, and especially when he was in a mood, Master Qui rather tended to encourage Xan’s destructive puckishness. With the caveat that, of course, Xan would be the one making amends and cleaning up the mess. And braving Master Yoda’s and Master Dooku’s rage afterwards, sometimes combined. 

The difficulty with this, of course, was that Xanatos wasn’t just paying for his own pranks. After all, Ahsoka had it on good authority that it was Master Obi-Wan who set Master Dooku’s cloak on fire. 

[mhalachai]

i downloaded the ebook from Project Gutenberg and nearly had a heart attack at how many pages it is in my ereader (1,070). Then again, my recent fave on ao3, the Untamed epic love, in fire and blood by cicer (account req'd, let me know if anyonje needs an invite) clocks in at 1,860 pages on my ereader and I can get through that in a weekend, so.

here we go

i just watched a one-hour one-man rendition of Moby Dick at the Vancouver Fringe festival and understood about 30% of what was going on so now I'm going to have to read the goddamned book in a week if i want to see the play again and figure out what happened.

[quotidian-oblivion]

Wow, what doesn't happen in this fic? There are Amazon Prime packages delivered to Batman from Red Hood in the form of a bloody and beaten Robin. This makes Bruce, Dick, Barbara and Alfred SAD. Tim sees that it makes them SAD and decides that he does not like them being SAD and he needs to get Jason back in the family and cure him of his Lazarus Pit Menty Bs (mental breakdowns). So he comes to the only logical solution: meet Talia Al Ghul. But Good Dad Bruce Batman does not like that so Tim does the only other logical thing: quit being Robin (by accident). Then he goes to meet with Talia Al Ghul. And he comes out with an assassin son. So now Tim has to raise a homicidal bratty 10-year-old Damian along with running and hiding from the Bats while trying to cure Jason of his green eggs and ham rages and get the family back together. Oh hey! What's that there in the distance! *zooms camera* "J0ker waz HeRe 🤡"

WHOOO! WE'RE BACK WITH ANOTHER FIC BOYS

[sweaterkittensahoy]

hi :)) do you knit too? because i kinda struck out on crochet but i tried knitting instead and i LOVE IT. i was wondering if you knew any good, relatively simple patterns for me to try!

I want to welcome you to a very fun club. It's the "how the fuck does anyone do this" club. Which is how some of us, myself included, realize we either knit or crochet. Never both.

I do not knit. But! I do know a couple of things:

Knitty is an online magazine for knitting with lots of back issues, which means lots of patterns. Here's a link to their search, which organizes by yarn weight and project type, then by difficultly, starting with beginner options.

@oft-goes-awry and @yarnings are both knitters, and I feel they likely have info they can share.

[st0rmyskies]

Hi bois! Rank the bae ™️ Cheating at chess!

We all know that Warriors is the Actual chess player in the home. Strategy games in general are his preference, and he's nearly unbeatable. But all of the Links come with a natural competitive streak. So which of the boys resort to more nefarious methods of play in order to gain the upper hand?

Legend - He's the most likely to engage Wars in a game of chess with just the right amount of cajoling. He is, unfortunately, not very good at chess. The second one of his plans goes awry, his temper wins out over his wit. Leg holds the record for greatest number of upturned chess boards upon rage quitting.

Hyrule - Rulie is incredibly smart and good at many things, but chess is a bit out of his wheelhouse. It takes a lot of time and thought for him to play, and Wars gets a bit impatient waiting for him to make his moves. His method of 'cheating' includes making illegal moves and hoping that Warriors takes pity on him. Perhaps a less mentally-demanding game would be better for them to play, like Chinese checkers.

Four - Although he doesn't like to play often, Four does hold his own pretty well. He plays as though he's actually studied the game, too, unlike the other denizens of the townhouse. He's the one Warriors enjoys playing against the most, and he's lost a game or two to Four in their time playing together.

Twilight - He tried to play once or twice, but he finds the game incredibly frustrating. (Sacred Grove Guardian statue puzzle? Anyone?? Anyone????) He also couldn't actually cheat even if his life depended on it. Twi is much better suited for lawn games like horseshoes and cornhole. Get that boy some sunshine and a beer and he's perfectly happy.

Sky - This boy does NOT find chess to be even mildly engaging. Wars has gone so far as to take him to the coffee shop or the park on a nice day to try and keep him interested, but without fail, Sky... will start to yawn..... and eventually....... drift........off.........

Wild - Wild's blissfully unaware, airheaded nature belies how skilled he is in chess. Wild will sit cross-legged on the opposite end of the board with a big bowl of snacks or something soft and huggable in his lap, chatting away animatedly while he and Wars both systematically clear the board of the other's pieces. Warriors swears he sees flashes of Champion in Wild's eyes now and then during a particularly intense game. Is it really cheating if it's your former self who knows the game?

Wind - He's played chess against the CPU for so long that he thinks he knows what to do, but playing against AI for years means that his strategies are pretty rote. Wind is one to challenge Warriors over and over again and lose repeatedly, to his mounting frustration. His 'cheats' are debatably-legal moves that set off a ten-minute argument between him and Wars until he either folds or walks away in a huff, forfeiting the game.

Time - He's a decent player, but no match for Warriors's cunning. But cheating is beneath him. He will lose the old-fashioned way, thank you very much.

And, for our oft-requested bonus round:

Malon - Sure, she knows how to play, but it's not really her preference. She and Wars might start a game together but as their mugs of tea are filled and refilled, their time spent together is more focused on chatting and hot goss than it is playing chess.

Shadow - Like Four, Shadow is also an excellent contender when it comes to chess. His strategies, however, are harder for Warriors to outsmart. Shadow knows the rules of the game but none of the strategies. One part his intelligent, conniving nature plus one part beginner's luck makes him a formidable opponent, no cheating necessary here.

Dark - Eats the pieces. While Warriors is watching. With an audible, unsettling crunch. The cost of the dental work is worth it for the look on pretty boy's face.

[ao3feed-brucewayne]

The Best Laid Plans Of Tim Drake Oft' Go Fucking Awry

by quotidian_void Wow, what doesn't happen in this fic? There are Amazon Prime packages delivered to Batman from Red Hood in the form of a bloody and beaten Robin. This makes Bruce, Dick, Barbara and Alfred SAD. Tim sees that it makes them SAD and decides that he does not like them being SAD and he needs to get Jason back in the family and cure him of his Lazarus Pit Menty Bs (mental breakdowns). So he comes to the only logical solution: meet Talia Al Ghul. But Good Dad Bruce Batman does not like that so Tim does the only other logical thing: quit being Robin (by accident). Then he goes to meet with Talia Al Ghul. And he comes out with an assassin son. So now Tim has to raise a homicidal bratty 10-year-old Damian along with running and hiding from the Bats while trying to cure Jason of his green eggs and ham rages and get the family back together. Oh hey! What's that there in the distance! *zooms camera* "J0ker waz HeRe 🤡" Words: 3194, Chapters: 1/23, Language: English Fandoms: Batman - All Media Types Rating: General Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Categories: Gen Characters: Tim Drake (DCU), Damian Wayne, Bruce Wayne, Dick Grayson, Jason Todd, Barbara Gordon, Talia al Ghul Relationships: Tim Drake & Damian Wayne, Tim Drake & Jason Todd, Tim Drake & Bruce Wayne, Tim Drake & Dick Grayson, Tim Drake & Barbara Gordon, Tim Drake & Talia al Ghul Additional Tags: Lazarus Pit Side Effects (DCU), Lazarus Pit (DCU), Lazarus Pit Madness (DCU), Lazarus Pit Mad Jason Todd, Temporary Character Death, Hurt Tim Drake (DCU), Good Sibling Tim Drake (DCU), BAMF Tim Drake (DCU), Stalker Tim Drake (DCU), Protective Tim Drake (DCU), Autistic Tim Drake (DCU), Smart Tim Drake (DCU), Coffee Lover Tim Drake (DCU), Tim Drake-centric (DCU), Tim Drake is Bad at Self-Care, Tim Drake is Robin (DCU), Tim Drake Has Self-Worth Issues, Tim Drake Has a Plan, Tim Drake and Damian Wayne are Siblings, Tim Drake & Damian Wayne Bonding, Tim Drake & Damian Wayne Get Along, Tim Drake Cares About Damian Wayne, Damian Wayne-centric, Good Sibling Damian Wayne, Damian Wayne is Bad at Feelings, Protective Damian Wayne, Damian Wayne Has a Heart, Damian Wayne Feels, Tim Drake Feels, Damian Wayne Gets a Hug, Hurt Damian Wayne, Damian Wayne Joins the Batfamily Early, Bruce Wayne Tries to Be a Good Parent, Good Parent Bruce Wayne, Good Sibling Dick Grayson, Barbara Gordon is So Done, Past Talia al Ghul/Bruce Wayne, Protective Talia al Ghul, Talia al Ghul Tries, Parent Talia al Ghul, Talia al Ghul Tries to Be a Good Parent, Dead Joker (DCU), Bad Parents Jack Drake and Janet Drake, Crack Treated Seriously, Angst, THOSE TWO CAN AND WILL COEXIST OKAY? GET OFF MY BACK, Crack and Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Child Neglect, YES beta we fucking LIVE via https://ift.tt/mXMNcx5

[pruning-the-minds-garden]

On Trust

Lets talk about trust in kink generally, and in hypnokink specifically. First, about Proximal Trust, then about Trusting me, and last about Accountability.

Something I want, I need people in the hypnokink space - and in general, really - to watch out for is Proximal Trust. This is when [Person A] gains a level of perceived trust or integrity in the eyes of other people, by being associated with (in proximity to) [Person B]. A concrete example: "I've seen HypnoDude being friendly with and sharing the content of SpiralChain for ages, and I trust SpiralChain, so HypnoDude has to be legit..."

Let me let Gen. Ackbar tell you what that is -

There are a lot of people I talk to in the hypnokink community, who exist in a space where... well... it's not that I think they're untrustworthy, but at the same time I cannot attest directly to whether they are trustworthy and respectful partners. That's not because I have doubts about them as people, but because I have never interacted with them in that specific way. They've never been sexually, kinkstually or whatever interested in me, nor I them, and that is a very different level of interaction to, "hey how's the weather? You like D&D 5E? Oh cool, so what's your favorite kind of induction?"

I cannot, and you should not, assume that just because someone is able to maintain a friendship with me without setting off alarm bells in my head, that they are a considerate, ethical, and compatible partner. It is just not a good or safe assumption to make. Yes, a lot of really skeevy people will squick me out and I will avoid them right off the jump... but a lot of others won't.

Cloaking one's predatory nature or broken stair-ness in order to get in the proximity of trusted folks is a great strategy to get access to a more steady stream of potential partners, and so it is one oft employed. And, it often works. I cannot possibly vouch for everyone I interact positively with, nor everyone who shares my content, nor everyone who upvotes or likes my ideas. I can only vouch for the small circle of people I've actually had intimate interactions with or whom I've directly seen interacting in that way for a long enough time to feel comfortable drawing conclusions from said observations. I wish predators and unethical actors and broken stairs came with badges, but sadly they do not.

If you have questions about individuals, ask me about them in DM. I will tell you what I know, and admit what I do not (which is often a lot). I will be as honest and forthright as possible, to give you the ability to make an honest risk assessment for yourself. I'm always here to help, too, should things should go awry, in whatever way you deem necessary. I limit the extent to which I publicly call people out to those people who have, in my eyes, repeatedly and unapologetically done things that cross serious ethical lines, and for whom there is sufficient and publicly-available evidence.

On a related note, everything I said above about other people applies to me, too. I know I make a lot of content on ethics and safety and consent and that might recommend to suspicion that I'm "automatically" a trustworthy person. I'ma let Gen. Ackbar take that one again -

Don't assume you can trust me. I really do appreciate that I've helped people, it means a ton to me. It matters. I am really, really, really super glad to have made the amount of difference - however big or small it is - that I have. I'm grateful for all of your support and accolades and all of that.

However.

No amount of difference, no amount of kudos, no amount of good a person could do, ever, makes them automatically worthy of your trust. That goes double in an intimate, kink context. Always, always, always vett your potential intimate and kink partners as best you can. Just because someone has a bunch of good friends, that does not mean that can't then turn around and be a consent violating asshole in the proverbial (or literal) bedroom. Just because someone talks a good - or great - game, that doesn't mean that when push comes to shove they aren't sus as hell. Vett. Your. Partners. Please. Not doing so does not excuse unethical or injurious behavior on their part - that's their doing and their failing, not yours - but it will help greatly to keep you safe. In an ideal world it would not be required, but we don't live in that ideal world, and until we do we have to live in the one we do.

That brings us to Accountability. I've said a lot here about not trusting the wrong people, so I want to make something absolutely, crystal clear: if someone does something hurtful to you, that is THEIR fault, not yours. Where you put your trust and how you vett people does matter but it does not, in any way, to any extent, make the things that happen to you "your fault." Accountability for those hurtful, abusive actions is 100% on the shoulders of the people who do them. It will never be anywhere else. All of the above - vetting, proximal trust, etc - is said with a mind to practicality and self-protection, to keeping you safe in the future, and not with even a hint of suggestion of blame or responsibility for anything. I know that when you are in the grips of something like that it can be easy to get into a blame, shame or self-hate spiral, wondering how you could let something like that happen and... you didn't. Things like that don't passively occur, they are actively pursued, and done so in ways that specifically overcome or bypass or evade the protective mechanisms that we all use to keep that from being done to us. It's. Not. Your. Fault.

Is this in response to a specific situation? Yes. More than one, honestly. Am I going to spill the proverbial tea? If I was going to, I would have already. I value given promises of privacy and even implicit ones far more than the social currency of naming-and-shaming and "✨#drama✨". If the time comes for that, though, rest assured it will happen. In the mean time, I'll do what I can to see that people are safe, healthy, and steps are taken to prevent future harm, as appropriate. I care about this community and I want to do right by it, and by all of you, as best I can.

[eleanorfenyx]

I was tagged by @earlgreytea68, thank you! I always love talking about music lol

You can usually tell a lot about a person by the type of music they listen to. put your favourite playlist on shuffle and list the first ten songs then tag ten people! no skipping!

So I actually have a playlist of like 48 hours of music that I listen to almost exclusively because I play it on my community radio show every Friday -- I put it on shuffle and whatever plays, plays, so I just have to own up to my all-over-the-place music taste, sometimes chatting about particular songs or artists as I feel like it, aaand that's the whole show lol. But anyway I'm going to put that playlist on and see what comes up!

The Doorman by Watchouse (formerly Mandolin Orange)

Forrest Gump by Frank Ocean

Polaroid Love by ENHYPEN

Kanashimi yo Konnichiwa by Yuki Saito

Baby I'm a Star by Prince & the Revolution

Sagittarius Superstar by COIN

Old 45's by Chromeo

Viva la Vida by Coldplay

Sin Wagon by The Chicks

I Got You (I Feel Good) by James Brown

Okay I feel like that actually wasn't as weird as it could have been. There was one show a couple weeks ago where I ended up playing Bubblegum Bitch by Marina and the Diamonds and it was immediately followed by Come Away With Me by Norah Jones (a transition that literally made me laugh out loud by myself at the station) and then it was Uptown Girl by Billy Joel..It was a bit of whiplash haha, and that's usually pretty standard.

But anyway! No pressure on anyway to play, but I'm tagging: @wei--wuxian, @wincestielfttfwin, @labyrynth, @forever-niji, @lansplaining, @oft-goes-awry, @omgpurplefattie, @scarlet-gryphon, @wishthatiwasnessiesgirl, and @epistemologys (sorry epi I have no idea why I can't tag you properly lol) plus anyone else who sees this who wants to play along! I'm terrible for picking people to tag in these kinds of games but I'd like to hear from anyone who wants to share their music ♥

[eleanorfenyxwrites]

Alright, any of y'all here who like/follow Soldier, Poet, King, I have a question for you:

Chapter 12 so far is at around 8.8k words, and I've only written Nie Mingjue's POV and a little bit of Jin Guangyao's, haven't even gotten to the important bits for him yet, and we still have Lan Xichen's entire POV to go as well. Normally the chapters are around the 8-10k range for all three of them together, and they rotate in a set order from chapter to chapter, and I've been really happy with myself so far for keeping up the pattern. My question is this: This chapter is going to a) be a behemoth and b) take me forever to write all of at my current pace. Would you rather get three smaller chapters in a row of individual POV's in easier to manage chunks (still in the right order of the pattern), or would you prefer to wait and get all three in one massive (and I mean massive) chapter? There's a lot that needs to happen at this point in the story to set up the rest of it but I don't know if it's going to be too much all at once. (and also I'm feeling guilty about how long it's taking me to update even though I know exactly what needs to happen and I just need to actually write it lol)

Tagging a few of y'all I know for a fact like the fic so I can get your opinions because at this point I'm mostly writing this fic for us 😂: @wincestielfttfwin @scarlet-gryphon @little-smartass @forever-niji @oft-goes-awry @fractalusurper @wishthatiwasnessiesgirl (and anyone else who feels like helping me make a decision 😅)

[ereshai]

15 Questions and 15 Mutuals

Thanks for tagging me @mcbangle

Were you named after anyone?

Only in the sense that my mom heard someone use the name and liked it.

When was the last time you cried?

Thursday

Do you have kids?

Yes.

Do you use sarcasm a lot?

Yeah, I think so.

What’s the first thing you notice about people?

I think it depends on the situation. Probably how they're acting? If they're being polite or a jerk.

What’s your eye color?

Brown.

Scary movies or happy endings?

Happy endings.

Any special talents?

Nah, I'm just doing the best I can with the things I need to do.

Where were you born?

West Germany (now just Germany)

What are your hobbies?

Reading, writing, cross-stitch, logic puzzles.

Have any pets?

Unfortunately not anymore. Please see question 2.

What sports do you play/have you played?

I did gymnastics for a bit when I was a kid. Otherwise sports and I are not a good combination.

How tall are you?

About average height. I might be shrinking a bit though :(

Favorite subject in school?

English.

Dream job?

No such thing. I don't want to work. I wouldn't mind doing things that interest me, if they don't come with other people being assholes. Self-employed, maybe? I do like my current job, but it's essentially customer service and I could do with less of that aspect of it.

Tagging: @redsector-a @oft-goes-awry @voldiebuns and whoever else is interested.

[copperbadge]

Sports Night In The Ask

franticbindings

It'd be interesting if the traditional bow fishing thing pointed to sport archery also being a thing. Like your high school might have an archery team.

beledibabe

It would be fun if A-S had some arcane local game, now mainly played by old men and women in cafe gardens using home-made equipment. Maybe similar to petanque or bocce? And of course, it can get cut-throat. ::g::

I love that these two comments came in right next to each other because I think you guys are on to something. Definitely archery is considered a cultural tradition, both bowfishing in specific and bow sport in general. They probably do regularly send Shivadh archers to the Olympics and they probably do extremely well.

It would be super fun to invent a local sport -- as you say, like bocce, that was my thought too -- that incorporates archery somehow. I know there are some mounted archery traditions in Mongolia that I think have formalized games attached (I know they have formal competition, I just am not sure there's like, team games).

But it would also be fun for there to be a running joke about a local Shivadh sport that doesn't exist -- kind of like Calvinball meets Mornington Crescent. Something to tell the tourists about, like "Oh yeah you just missed the annual Lofingi games, they were epic this year." And explaining the rules of Lofingi is just an exercise in improv.

("Fingi" in Italian is "fake it" in the second person imperative; "lo fingi" isn't grammatical, I believe it's actually fingilo, but it's basically "I order you to fake it.")

oft-goes-awry

"There is no golf. Michaelis detests it personally." Sam, after having gone to the Masters the last couple of years (my dad has tickets and you couldn't PAY my mom to go), I would LOVE to see his face when confronted with the utter surreality that Augusta National during Master's Week.

I don't know that we've ever seen Michaelis properly seethe, but that might be the time for it!

Realistically, it's not even that he hates golf on principle. There are a lot of reasons to dislike golf from a social standpoint, at least the modern game -- and he's obviously not in favor of massive water-sucking gatekept tax shelters, not to mention there's a strong historical affiliation between golf and racism, golf and antisemitism.

But he also just...doesn't like playing it. (I feel this way about bowling.)

He understands that for people at his level it's mostly a way to have private conversations and do networking. I think he'd find Master's Week fascinating from that standpoint; he'd know how to work it to get what he wants. And he's an outdoorsy guy, he likes hiking and being out in nature, you'd think walking around outside for several hours would appeal to him. But you're tethered to the stupid little ball and the obnoxious people you're playing with and there IS the creepy gatekeeping and it's not like it's nature nature.

One time Noah showed him one of those memes about "turn all golf courses into public sex forests" and he plaintively asked "Can't we just rewild them?" and Jes laughed so hard they fell off their chair.

[loverinstinct]

I made tumblr user oft-goes-awry’s grandmothers Cranberry Surprise to try and brought it to my chosen family’s Thanksgiving and it got DEMOLISHED

Common comments:

-this is incredible and so unique

-can I have the recipe?

-what is this?

-what’s the surprise? (I had no answer to this)

-omg this is so good

I made a few changes because I cannot not I’m so sorry:

-I didn’t use almond extract because I can’t stand it and don’t keep it in my house so I used vanilla, it was still good

-the crust was not malleable enough to “press” into the pie pan as instructed so I added like a tablespoon of molasses and put it through a food processor so it would stand up a little

I didn’t take a before picture, so here is just the after in the back of my car when I headed home

Please note: I thought this was going to be super sweet, and when I had a little lick of the filling as I made it I was very disappointed and concerned. I almost added so much more sugar. DONT DO THIS. I managed to refrain and it was literally perfect it would have been worse with more sugar.

And they look out so hard for the well being of the spiders AND the dolphins

[andallofthemwitches]

@oft-goes-awry

[sweaterkittensahoy]

thanks to @oft-goes-awry I now know Harding's full name is Neil Bosworth Harding, and yeah, I'd go by Chick, too.

[normal-with-adhd-is-a-joke]

I know the poem "To A Mouse" by Robert Burns is supposed to be frustration and fear about the unpredictability of life but I honestly find it kind of comforting.

For those of you unfamiliar, the poem is a farmer lamenting his accidental destruction of a mouse's home while plowing his fields, leaving it with no place to go for the winter. The part I'm specifically talking about is the most famous portion and the inspiration for the book Of Mice and Men.

"But mouse-friend, you are not alone in proving forsight may be vain: the best laid schemes of Mice and Men go oft awry, and leave us only grief and pain, for promised joy!" (English translation by Michael R. Birch)

Humans have a tendency to find patterns in things, so when a string of things goes wrong in our lives the immediate thought is sometimes "I must have done something wrong". If you grew up religious, you probably go to sin as the cause. If not, you might go to karma or other universal retribution. This poem helps me see fortune as a random natural phenomenon rather than a punishment. Sometimes bad things just happen and there isn't a deeper meaning behind it.