lavenderandsnow

[lavenderandsnow]

Please spare five minutes to fill out a survey about fandom participant during covid-19! And please share with others and help me recruit:) I super appreciate your help!

Here’s the link: https://forms.gle/8vG7Ccz259xuB6n5A

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a fanfiction survey

Stressed out grad student here trying to complete a class project on fanfiction writing here.....if you are a fanfiction writer, can I trouble you for a five minute survey, super simple? No personal info is collected. Inbox me for any questions, thank you and have a great day!

https://forms.gle/wCGkzumMEKzX6nvz6

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Will you still watch NCIS now that Maria Bello is leaving?

I’m waiting to hear from an official source rather than deadline and every other site that’s just piggy backing off deadline. But yeah, I’ll still watch it. I mean, they’ve got, what, 2 seasons max left? 

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You were meant to read this!

Hi!

This is the sign you’ve been looking for, you did not stumble on my post on accident. Please remember that you are a lovely human being who deserves all the good things in life. You deserve roses on your doorsteps, forehead kisses and/or hugs from loved ones, and most importantly, the feeling of knowing that YOU, lovely reader, are going to be just fine. Mistakes happen, wrong choices are made, but that doesn’t change the fact that you need to treat yourself with a little bit of self care. :)

Take a deep breath, relax your shoulders, and let yourself feel whatever you may be feeling. 

You will be okay, everything will eventually work out one way or another. Pain is inevitable, but it does not last forever, suffering is only optional.

Don’t leave without seeing the clouds clear after that rainy day, alright?

Stay.

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Slollis aestetics ... because I love these two :)

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Shame on the media for the “murder hornets” nickname for Asian giant hornets and the fear mongering they’re doing about them showing up in the US. How incredibly unnecessary.

Yes, they are predators of honeybees and other insects, but there are plenty of other bugs that are predators, too. It’s a natural thing. And yes, they can kill humans - so can honeybees. There are not many deaths attributed to Asian giant hornets per year where they’re native, and the deaths that do occur often happen when people are stung 10-30 times or more, or are due to allergies. They are also not particularly aggressive unless provoked. You are very unlikely to encounter them and even less likely to be stung, even if they did manage to establish themselves here.

And that is the concern! They’re an invasive species here in the US and could potentially be very destructive if they were able to establish breeding populations. But no worries - not many were spotted (2 or 4? Depending on the source, it seems) and scientists are well aware of the issue and are trying to make sure they’re controlled.

Anyway let’s chill on demonizing wasps any further. Native species are super important and deserve the same respect and positive attention bees have gotten in recent years. And no bug is evil!! Stop making them sound like malicious beasts!!

Thank you and please view a very cute Asian giant hornet:

:) Photo by chapeng

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I miss her so much.

Hollis, I miss you and your sassy, Gibbs-whispering self. Please make a comeback in s18

[lavenderandsnow]

what are your favorite quotes on kindness and empathy? thank you🕯❤️

💓 💌

“It all matters. That someone turns out the lamp, picks up the windblown wrapper, says hello to the invalid, pays at the unattended lot, listens to the repeated tale, folds the abandoned laundry, plays the game fairly, tells the story honestly, acknowledges help, gives credit, says good night, resists temptation, wipes the counter, waits at the yellow, makes the bed, tips the maid, remembers the illness, congratulates the victor, accepts the consequences, takes a stand, steps up, offers a hand, goes first, goes last, chooses the small portion, teaches the child, tends to the dying, comforts the grieving, removes the splinter, wipes the tear, directs the lost, touches the lonely, is the whole thing. What is most beautiful is least acknowledged. What is worth dying for is barely noticed.”

— Laura McBride, We Are Called to Rise

“What I regret most in my life are failures of kindness. Those moments when another human being was there, in front of me, suffering and I responded… sensibly. Reservedly. Mildly.”

— George Saunders, Congratulations, by the way

— Jenny Slate, Little Weirds

“I’ve never told you this,” she said. “But there’s something about taking the cart back instead of leaving it in the parking lot. I don’t know when this came to me; it was a few years ago. There’s a difference between leaving it where you empty it and taking it back to the front of the store. It’s significant.”“Because somebody has to take them in.”“Yes. And if you know that, and you do it for that one guy, you do something else. You join the world…You move out of your isolation and become universal.”

— Andre Dubus, “Out of the Snow”, Dancing After Hours

“When you stand before me and see me, what do you know about the pain inside me and what do I know about yours? And if I kneeled before you and cried and told you, what more would you know about me than hell, when someone tells you that it is hot and horrible? That’s why people should stand before each other as reverently, as pensively, as lovingly, as standing before the entrance to hell.” 

— Franz Kafka, letter to Oskar Pollak

“I’d like to think this [happy ending] isn’t weakness or… evasion… but a final act of kindness. I gave them their happiness.”

— Atonement (2007), dir. Joe Wright

— Harvey (1950), dir. Harry Koster

“The love of our neighbor in all its fullness simply means being able to say to him: “What are you going through?”

— Simone Weil, “School Studies”

“I don’t ask for your pity, but just for your understanding–not even that–no. Just for your recognition of me in you.”

— Tennessee Williams, “Sweet Bird of Youth”

“Empathy isn’t just something that happens to us—a meteor shower of synapses firing across the brain—it’s also a choice we make: to pay attention, to extend ourselves. It’s made of exertion, that dowdier cousin of impulse. Sometimes we care for another because we know we should, or because it’s asked for, but this doesn’t make our caring hollow. The act of choosing simply means we’ve committed ourselves to a set of behaviors greater than the sum of our individual inclinations: I will listen to his sadness, even when I’m deep in my own. To say “going through the motions”—this isn’t reduction so much as acknowledgment of the effort—the labor, the motions, the dance—of getting inside another person’s state of heart or mind. This confession of effort chafes against the notion that empathy should always arise unbidden, that genuine means the same thing as unwilled, that intentionality is the enemy of love. But I believe in intention and I believe in work.”

— Leslie Jamison, The Empathy Exams

“In Middlemarch love enables knowledge. Love is a kind of knowledge. If Fred didn’t love Mary, he would have no reason to exercise his imagination on her family. It’s love that makes him realize that two women without their savings are a real thing in the world and not merely incidental to his own sense of dishonor. It’s love that enables him to feel another’s pain as if it were his own. For Eliot, in the absence of God, all our moral tests must take place on this earth and have their rewards and punishments here. We are one another’s lesson, one another’s duty.”

— Zadie Smith, “Middlemarch and Everybody”

“Kindness, kindness, kindness. I want to make a New Year’s prayer, not a resolution. I’m praying for courage.”

— Susan Sontag, New Year’s Resolutions

— Vincent D’Onofrio (x)

“It was past time for us, with or without irony, to be more divine; if we can guess what God’s benevolence might be it is because we guess at benevolence in ourselves.”

— Clarice Lispector, “Mineirinho”

“Look what happens when the tongue / Cannot say to kindness, / “I will be your slave.” / The moon / Covers her face with both hands / And can’t bear / To look.”

— Hafiz, “Covers Her Face with Both Hands”

“I scream for kindness. Let there be kindness. There is bloody little and never at a high enough level.”

— Martha Gellhorn, Selected Letters

“Outside, where the snow is turning to slush, I walk with my hand very gently round your shoulders. Not to harm anyone: simple enough, that hope seems an ambition vast enough to consume a lifetime.”

— Geoff Dyer, “Parting Shots”

— Hozier, from an interview with NPR

“When I was young, I admired clever people. Now that I am old, I admire kind people.”

— Rabbi Abraham Joshua Heschel

“In [fairy tales], power is rarely the right tool for survival anyway. Rather the powerless thrive on alliances, often in the form of reciprocated acts of kindness - from beehives that were not raided, birds that were not killed but set free or fed, old women who were saluted with respect. Kindness sown among the meek is harvested in crisis.”

— Rebecca Solnit, The Faraway Nearby

“Before you learn the tender gravity of kindness,you must travel where the Indian in a white poncholies dead by the side of the road.You must see how this could be you,how he too was someonewho journeyed through the night with plansand the simple breath that kept him alive.”

— Naomi Shihab Nye, “Kindness”

“Years ago I was on the midtown cross-town bus in NYC, in evening rush hour, in January, in the sleeting wind and rain.

Yeah, it sucked.

The bus moved at a crawl, and everyone on it seemed depressed. It would’ve been far faster to walk across town, but the weather was too godawful to bear. Everyone was definitely hating their life that day.

When we reached 10th Ave, the bus driver made a surprising announcement.

He said, “Ladies and Gentleman, we are now nearing the Hudson River. I’m going to ask you to do me a favor. When you get off the bus, I’m going to hold out my hand. As you walk past me, I want you to drop your troubles into the palm of my hand. I’ll take your troubles for you, and when I drive past the river, I’ll throw them in. The reason I want to do this is because you all seem like you’ve had a bad day, and I don’t want you taking all your worries and sorrows home to your friends and families now. Because they deserve better than that, don’t they? So you just leave your troubles here with me to dispose of, and you all go have a wonderful night, OK?”

The whole bus — the whole grumpy lot of us — broke into laughter. (Some of us, myself included, might have even shed a tear or two.) And one by one, as we filed off the bus, we dropped our troubles into the palm of this good man’s hand, and we stepped off the bus with smiles on our faces.”

— Elizabeth Gilbert, “Dear Ones - A Story”

— Hannah Gadsby, Nanette

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Louder for the people in the back!!!!

H50 and the misogyny.

Here we go. First of all, the only well-developed female character and not downgraded / summed up as the main character's romantic pair is Kono. Fortunately, Tani is going this way, I love her so much... I hope Quinn has this justice too, she has a lot of potential to be explored and she has all my support. And we have Noelani, who has been getting more prominence lately, which is a plus point, I like her a lot too. However, we can note that the writing of characters like Abby, Catherine, Doris, Lori and Rachel is totally different. If we look carefully, the introduction or development of each has been vilified on some level. Lori and Abby are "lighter" cases, which one was introduced as "nosy" and another as Chin's romantic pair who was not "on the Five-0 side". (PS: I love Chin and I love Abby, my criticism is for character writing). And now let's go to Rachel, who's been the troubled ex-wife since S1. Some of her attitudes are questionable, I know that. But this writing of a villainized ex-wife tires me. They approached Rachel and Danny in s9 after years of this stupid villainization. This is a ready joke. Now let's talk about Catherine Rollins, my favorite character after Kono. Her situation connects with Rachel's, two villainized female characters to keep alive a queerbaiting named Mcdanno. And don't attack me, I love McDanno dynamics and would love to see them together, but queerbaiting is not representativeness. This talk of queerbaiting is for another day. Going back to my beloved Lieutenant Rollins, from S1 to S3 everything was fine with her development. If I'm not mistaken, she even hid something from Steve about Doris, but it was forgiven by him. The fandom crucifies her because of this until the present day, which of you have never been put in a difficult position? Let's have sense, right? By then I was satisfied, the essence of the character was made. She did a lot for Five-0, every time Steve wanted a favor, she used naval base resources regardless of the risks. She had a good relationship with his mother, with his friends, respected the fact that Steve did not name their relationship, I do not remember a time when he called her girlfriend, but the fandom wanted her to guess about the marriage proposal, another bad joke ready. At S4-S5 that's where it all fell apart, I don't even like to comment on S4, Catherine gets a lot of hatred for that. I don't know what happens behind the camera, but her departure from the series was a bit too lazy. They buried what's left of the character there, she lost a friend and got bad about it, and guess what? Received hatred just for this, because of SHIPP. They wrote reasons to hate her, opportunists to hate. I keep loving her and thinking she never did anything wrong. When she appeared at the end of S5, I was happy, but at the beginning of S6, specifically in episode 3, they wrote one more reason for opportunists to hate her. The marriage proposal she didn't know about. These people are very hypocritical, they don't deserve the strong and wonderful character that Catherine Rollins is. In her subsequent appearances in the other seasons, I watch only to give all the love she deserves. Stan Catherine Rollins. Of course I care about how Steve feels, but when it comes to writing, I have to say these things. The writing of the character in the special appearances is still lazy about Steve, with that "Oh, she broke McGarrett's heart" mood, when no one really cares what she feels, why is it? But I love her for remaining a strong character, now in the CIA more than ever, I know she's feeling included somewhere, and deserves to be happy. To close the gate, we have Doris. I'll be brief for spending too much text on Catherine. Anyway, the writing of a troubled mother never satisfied me. Let's put the truth on the table. Why was John McGarrett the good man who served his country and Doris was the troubled mother for going to the CIA?

We know about Shelburne, alias that she used to pretend to be dead, okay, that was a big mistake and it made her kids suffer, she had that Wo Fat connection and everything. But do you remember the many times Joe White lied to Steve? Still, Joe's death was felt. But with Doris the treatment is different, now that she's dead, probably a lot of people are celebrating.

In short, these points are about the writing of female characters, their villainization, to be clear. I'm not in favor of all the actions Doris has ever taken, but I know she loved her son, just like John. Anyway, I keep following the series mainly by Tani, Quinn, Noelani, Grover and Adam, my favorites. Just as we love a show, we can see where it fails. about her. Much love, mahalo!

PS: I stopped caring about McRollins a long time ago. I understand and respect who still shipps, but I care more about her.

STAN CATHERINE ROLLINS, TANI REY, KONO KALAKAUA, NOELANI CUNHA AND QUINN LIU FOR A BETTER WORLD!

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Western LGBT fans and entitlement

wangxianist posted this tweet. To quote, “this is going to sound harsh but I would trust straight asian women writing about gay asian people over gay white people writing about gay asian people”.

Western LGBT writers in fannish spaces have a sense of entitlement over Asian characters’ identities. In MDZS fandom, this entitlement manifests in the growing ‘anti-fujoshi’ sentiment; the obsession with the “right” way of creating/consuming content with LGBT characters.

This increasingly vitriolic type of virtue signalling isn’t unique to MDZS fandom, but it highlights the way people impose western values and cultural norms onto Asian spaces.

A recent example of this occurred on twitter, when a Chinese fan compared East/West reactions towards (fictional) incest. Specifically, Eastern fandom’s acceptance and enthusiasm versus western fandom’s avoidance and disgust. A prolific fanartist replied to the post, referring to POC fans who ‘support’ incest as “freaks of colour”. Incest is taboo in both cultures, so initially it may not seem like there is any relationship between the imposition of western values onto Asian spaces and someone on twitter dot com calling POC fans they disagree with “freaks of colour” (aside from the blatant racism). In fact, there are several layers of it in this interaction. First, there is the judgement towards Chinese and Asian spaces; a decision was made that the western reaction of avoidance and disgust towards the topic of incest was the “correct” way. There is the attempt to speak over Asian and Chinese voices, to fight against their experience of their own culture in order to insist that the reality falls into line with those western values and cultural norms. In separating Asians into “normal” POCs and “freaks of colour”, the message being sent was this: our way is the correct way; in fact, our way is the way “good” Asians have been living already. Second, there is a lack of understanding about Chinese culture and the way it informs fan spaces. Incest fiction has been argued to ’showcase a feminine attempt to re-order the power structure in the family by means of eros’. Chinese BL culture often serves as a space where social, cultural and political conversations can take place in a traditionally conservative and oppressive regime. This is another reason why western LGBT fans’ entitlement towards Asian characters is particularly problematic. A new trend occurring in the MDZS AO3 tag are authors claiming their stories are ‘for the gays only’. Clicking and reading these stories, I started to wonder how many of these authors were Chinese, or even Asian. What made them so confident in their right to claim these characters, which was never their intellectual property in the first place, and attempting to stop others from accessing them? The Chinese BL genre is a ‘transnational Chinese public sphere where women from diasporas around the world could discuss and debate all kinds of fannish, feminine and political topics’; it is a movement that has created a space for itself in a repressive regime, spearheaded by women. It is not for western LGBT individuals to claim; not a media where they should expect their values and culture to be upheld. The expectation that it should is an insidious remnant of colonisation.   Western LGBT writers in fannish spaces have a sense of entitlement over Asian characters’ identities. Frequently, they speak over Asian voices in the community and impose their own values and cultural norms on Asian spaces, often misunderstanding Asian values and norms in the process. They claim Asian characters as their own and attempt to restrict access to it, falsely believing that these characters and universes are their own. That tweet is a culmination of these experiences causing frustration for Chinese and Asian fans within the community.

(crossposted from Dreamwidth.)

[lavenderandsnow]

LINK TO THE ARTICLE

Spread this *everywhere*. It’s the only article that correctly presents a timeline of the hate and harassment in the Star Wars fandom since 2015, and how women are treated within fandom walls. All accompanied by insightful data and analysis.

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[lavenderandsnow]

Everything just said by @the-last-rat-standing and @minikate--24-05. !!!! (Let me know if tagging bother you in any way)

Not gonna lie when I started watching NCIS I almost ditched the entire show, and a large part was because of how ignorant and misogynist it was. Tony’s behaviors bothered me so so much, so was Gibbs indifference from time to time. I understand it was produced in early 2000s but let’s face it, crime shows, or possibly most tv shows, are predominantly created and produced by white dudes. And the misogyny is just everywhere. If Tony’s behavior could be explained by the characters background and personality, the functions and fates of most female characters and POC are just a bigger problem. (Why do they tend to make the ultimate sacrifice?)

I’m glad that over the years NCIS has changed and we’ve got more shows created by women (R&I has built incredible characters! Don’t get me start on the fact that Korsak is NOT a functional mute!). There are some many things I love about NCIS, and H50, and many others, but we have not done enough—in fact we’ve just started!

If you’re not pissed about it’s flaws you don’t love it enough.

I’m sleep-deprived so good night.

the more i see of early NCIS

like s1 & s2 (because let’s be real, i haven’t watched those in a while)

the more i realize kate didn’t understand tony AT ALL

she was kind of just mean

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Im rewatching Hollis’ returns in season 11&12 and I’m still so bugged by it. It’s not like I don’t know Gibbs and her aren’t getting back together, I’ve accepted that. It’s the fact that their conversations were sloppy and everything seemed rushed, that I dislike. Again, a good ending is a reasonable, well-written, meaningful one. It doesn’t have to be a happy one. She deserves better, and it has nothing to do with Gibbs.

I also can’t believe I’m STILL upset but this:/

[lavenderandsnow]

Good stuff.

[lavenderandsnow]

Words to replace said, except this actually helps

I got pretty fed up with looking for words to replace said because they weren’t sorted in a way I could easily use/find them for the right time. So I did some myself.

IN RESPONSE TO Acknowledged Answered Protested

INPUT/JOIN CONVERSATION/ASK Added Implored Inquired Insisted Proposed Queried Questioned Recommended Testified

GUILTY/RELUCTANCE/SORRY Admitted Apologized Conceded Confessed Professed

FOR SOMEONE ELSE Advised Criticized Suggested

JUST CHECKING Affirmed Agreed Alleged Confirmed

LOUD Announced Chanted Crowed

LEWD/CUTE/SECRET SPY FEEL Appealed Disclosed Moaned

ANGRY FUCK OFF MATE WANNA FIGHT Argued Barked Challenged Cursed Fumed Growled Hissed Roared Swore

SMARTASS Articulated Asserted Assured Avowed Claimed Commanded Cross-examined Demanded Digressed Directed Foretold Instructed Interrupted Predicted Proclaimed Quoted Theorized

ASSHOLE Bellowed Boasted Bragged

NERVOUS TRAINWRECK Babbled Bawled Mumbled Sputtered Stammered Stuttered

SUAVE MOTHERFUCKER Bargained Divulged Disclosed Exhorted

FIRST OFF Began

LASTLY Concluded Concurred

WEAK PUSY Begged Blurted Complained Cried Faltered Fretted

HAPPY/LOL Cajoled Exclaimed Gushed Jested Joked Laughed

WEIRDLY HAPPY/EXCITED Extolled Jabbered Raved

BRUH, CHILL Cautioned Warned

ACTUALLY, YOU’RE WRONG Chided Contended Corrected Countered Debated Elaborated Objected Ranted Retorted

CHILL SAVAGE Commented Continued Observed Surmised

LISTEN BUDDY Enunciated Explained Elaborated Hinted Implied Lectured Reiterated Recited Reminded Stressed

BRUH I NEED U AND U NEED ME Confided Offered Urged

FINE Consented Decided

TOO EMO FULL OF EMOTIONS Croaked Lamented Pledged Sobbed Sympathized Wailed Whimpered

JUST SAYING Declared Decreed Mentioned Noted Pointed out Postulated Speculated Stated Told Vouched

WASN’T ME Denied Lied

EVIL SMARTASS Dictated Equivocated Ordered Reprimanded Threatened

BORED Droned Sighed

SHHHH IT’S QUIET TIME Echoed Mumbled Murmured Muttered Uttered Whispered

DRAMA QUEEN Exaggerated Panted Pleaded Prayed Preached

OH SHIT Gasped Marveled Screamed Screeched Shouted Shrieked Yelped Yelled

ANNOYED Grumbled Grunted Jeered Quipped Scolded Snapped Snarled Sneered

ANNOYING Nagged

I DON’T REALLY CARE BUT WHATEVER Guessed Ventured

I’M DRUNK OR JUST BEING WEIRDLY EXPRESSIVE FOR A POINT/SARCASM Hooted Howled Yowled

I WONDER Pondered Voiced Wondered

OH, YEAH, WHOOPS Recalled Recited Remembered

SURPRISE BITCH Revealed

IT SEEMS FAKE BUT OKAY/HA ACTUALLY FUNNY BUT I DON’T WANT TO LAUGH OUT LOUD Scoffed Snickered Snorted

BITCHY Tattled Taunted Teased

Edit: People, I’m an English and creative writing double major in college; I understand that there’s nothing wrong with simply using “said.” This was just for fun, and it comes in handy when I need to add pizzazz. 

[lavenderandsnow]

Interesting posts and thanks for the brief history lesson!

every time I see more of the ‘ao3 is evil’ crap circulating I think, ‘well, tumblr is evil too and I don’t see you stop using it’