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yudrein-aile · 4 months ago

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Second Gender Manifestations, Sexual Assault and the Law: Omegaverse in Turning

I got too invested after an earlier elaboration. As always, chapter references are in brackets.

Content warnings: human experimentation, rape, mutual-non con, assault, childhood sexual assault. Please be mindful while reading!

I’d be lying if I said that this topic has been haunting me since I started reading Turning. I picked this novel up specifically because it had the Omegaverse tag and I found myself intrigued. Would this story play it like most BL Omegaverse, following a more “traditional” set up or if the author was going to do something fun and new with it?

And new it was, brand new in fact. The concept of Alphas and Omegas is brand new in Turning. By the time the story starts, they’ve only existed for two years – and that is without knowing quite how long it took the population to figure out that second genders had even manifested. Kishiar awakened and went through his second gender manifestation at the same time (160), and is one of the first confirmed second gender Awakeners in the world (115), but Kishiar awakened as a male Alpha, which, from what we know so far, doesn’t appear to deviate as much from being a cis man in the first place.

Still, second gender manifestations were new, and immediately cause panic.

The Emperor of the Orr Empire and the Pope officially declared it the "second gender bestowed by the gods," and the general populace, who had been terrified that their own bodies might change at any moment, were greatly relieved. (3)

Second genders are not well received. Yuder tells us that in the first timeline, people are quick to start to discriminate against Omegas, who are believed to awaken weaker abilities and have weaker physical abilities. Their heat cycles are also stronger, as is their scent, quickly leading to the belief that they are sexual deviants, who can’t control their own scents, which can be detected even by non-Awakeners (3). This eventually leads to Omegas also being excluded from the Cavalry, despite the head of the Cavalry being an Omega himself (3).

Yuder was praised as the strongest Awakener on the continent, but even he wasn’t free of discrimination:

There had been countless people over the years who looked down on Yuder, an Omega, for being the leader of the Cavalry. Among the Awakeners, there were many who refused to acknowledge him. (4)

Not only is Yuder an Omega who allegedly slept his way to power – more on that notion later – but he’s also a “broken” one as he doesn’t perceive scents or experience a heat cycle. (4) All of this reveals a prejudice that mirrors real-life misogyny well enough, which is quite fascinating considering Turning itself appears to have little societal misogyny, women are fully legally equal citizens to men, and a woman inheriting titles or such is not forbidden, but even welcome in some cases (Myra el Herne) and they are even high-ranking in the army while married with children (Meghna Cuglieva). This makes the particular discrimination Omegas face quite interesting as it appears to not just be a straight-up copy of discrimination that women already face.

And clearly, even within the Awakener community, there grows a perception of what Omegas should be like. Yuder, during his time as Commander, had to deal with people sneaking into his bedroom “claiming they could suppress the scentless Omega Commander with their scents” (190) aka attempting to “fix” him, not unlike the rhetoric used particularly around queer people. While Yuder speaks of “suppressing” here, to me, it reads more as though their intention was sexual assault. The fact that Yuder’s solution to this was beating them up until their “dicks were broken” (190) appears to support that.

One, further, explanation for the discrimination Omegas, particularly male omegas, might face is the fact that they can get pregnant. While there appears no disgust per se at the notion, Lenore and Beltreil’s conversation about Kishiar’s second gender, at the very least, drips with mockery, it is a worthy consideration:

"I'm not sure. Didn't uncle say it's difficult to distinguish just by appearance? But I would prefer it if it were the Omega." "Why is that?" "Wouldn't it be nice if God granted at least the mercy of nurturing an imperial heir directly to someone who is destined not to have children? Especially considering how blessed he is."

Clearly, they are making fun of him here, especially since Kishiar is considered Tall Handsome ManTM, but perhaps in there lies the truth, that even the body of a man like him could be changed without his input, feminized in a way. It is in particular why I love Kishiar so much when he interacts with Yuder, all typically “feminine” character traits, interest in fashion, dancing, being chatty, are regaled to Kishiar and not Yuder. But also I would kill for an Omega Kishiar AU in case anyone feels inspired. Moving on-

We know that talking about second genders becomes a taboo topic within years of them becoming more common knowledge as Yuder notes that, opposed to now, two years after they appeared, “in a few more years, openly asking about someone's secondary gender would become impolite” (20). Yuder calls this current state of talking about it easily, without shame or stigma “liberating” (20). Perhaps the closest real-world comparison to this is going from trans* friendly space where discussing gender happens nearly casually, to being thrust into the open world, where every discussion of your gender is immediately tied to an expected performance and tied to a sexual connotation. But we’re not here for the real world, but for this fantasy novel so let’s continue and take a quick look at how second gender manifestation actually works.

Second Gender Manifestation aka Puberty, but WorseTM

In chapter 156, Yuder summarizes quite neatly what they know of how second gender manifestation works.

Being an Awakener did not necessarily mean one would undergo second gender manifestation. Furthermore, those who did experience the second gender manifestation didn't all manifest in the same way. Typically, signs of upcoming changes would manifest as persistent low-grade fevers or pain over a few days, followed by a slow transformation while being sick for nearly a week. However, there were individuals who unpredictably spewed out all the pain in a single moment, undergoing a sudden change. […] The onset of the first in-heat period after manifestation varied as well. Some would not experience their first in-heat period for a long time after the second gender manifestation, while others would enter their in-heat period immediately after. The cause of this variance remained unknown despite research from previous lives. The only known fact was that those who awakened their power and experienced second gender manifestation simultaneously underwent the transformation with the least amount of pain. (156)

So what I’d argue second gender manifestation boils down to is:

You’re sick.

It hurts, depending on your combination of awakening/manifestation, that could be a lot.

You manifest as either Alpha or Omega.

You get a scent out of it.

The other important note that Yuder notes pretty much from the start of the novel is that no Awakener of the opposite gender should be present during the manifestation (28) as this causes “problems”. Problems is a very mild way of paraphrasing “sexual assault”. But let’s take a step back before we address that part and take a look at 3. first.

To boil it down, Alphas are capable of impregnating anyone of the opposite gender, while Omegas can get pregnant, either regardless of their first gender (3). Canon does not exactly elaborate on what that means for Alpha females or Omega males, beyond their body changing somehow. (I mean. 618 does, uh, imply cervix penetration IMO but let’s leave that discussion for another time.)

Yuder notes that “most Alphas felt a distinct desire only for Omegas” (37), but considering Yuder brings that up in the context of it being unfathomable why Kishiar is flirting with him, I’d not exactly consider that truthful, but more a reflection of Yuder not being able to grasp why Kishiar would want to do anything with him without his second gender manifestation forcing them. Additionally, at the time the novel was still going to include the concept of Betas.

Now, let’s get back to the word the novel continuously avoids, whether that is intentional, or a reflection of Yuder’s point of view, but even without spelling it out: rape is more than just alluded to.

When Yuder departs East with Gakane and Jimmy, Kishiar warns him that Jimmy shows signs of second gender manifestation. Yuder’s reaction to that is worrying whether this might prompt his own second gender awakening as there are rumors that somebody experiencing second gender manifestation might trigger another (112). This is more or less confirmed later during Beltreil’s research (132).

His second, more concerning worry, is whether Gakane, an Alpha Awakener, might become a threat if Jimmy manifests as an Omega (68). Why is it a problem if Gakane is there if Jimmy, who is twelve, manifests as an Omega? Yuder speaks of the need to be strong enough to isolate them (68). What this spells out to me is, in the end, Yuder worrying about whether Jimmy’s second gender manifestation would trigger Gakane and whether this might escalate into Gakane assaulting him. This is, frankly speaking, absolutely horrifying. Jimmy is a kid, everyone treats him like a kid when it concerns potentially emotionally damaging topics (67) and Gakane is probably even more of a green flag than Kishiar.

Yuder is, plainly, worried about an instinctual reaction and lack of control. Now the question is, is this realistic?

Hate to say it, but Turning hasn’t really given us much to prove the opposite. First of, in universe people don’t know much about second gender awakening in the first place, never mind what it means for someone so young.

It is said that when Jimmy manifested “many were worried about his manifestation at such a young age, [but] Jimmy rather enjoyed it” (116). This does fit a little more with the vibes we get when Gakane and Jimmy talk about his second gender manifestation earlier. When Jimmy worries about his manifestation, he links it to becoming an adult. That reads a lot more like the discourse surrounding preconceived notions about what starting to menstruate is like/means (89). So it could honestly be that Jimmy, or any kid, awakening as an Omega around an adult second gender awakening triggers more “yeah that’s a kid, gotta take care of the kid” instead of anything sexual, but neither we nor Yuder knows that.

What we do know is the opposite.

Yuder is more than just apprehensive of his own second gender manifestation. During the first timeline, Yuder’s second gender manifestation is sudden and overlaps with Kishiar’s near heat, causing Kishiar to lose control. Yuder describes him as “beast-like” (301) and he hardly has any memories of the incident.

While he was tangled up, he did not know whether the place had changed or whether days and nights had passed, but he continually felt as if something inside him was being ripped apart and was being messily mixed with something that came from outside. The pain, as if something unseen and ragged pieces were arbitrarily stitched together. (301)

None of the words Yuder uses to describe his second gender manifestation are kind. If anything, they make me a little nauseous.

Yuder, however, could not comprehend the 'pleasant moments' they referred to. He failed to see what was refreshing or enjoyable about losing control of oneself. For him, being a second gender Awakener was a source of agony. The single heat experience that had come and gone with his manifestation was a source of shame, and the powerless time when he could not control himself was a horror he did not even wish to imagine in dreams.

He speaks of pain, a loss of control, shame – it summons the image of suffering from the aftereffects of a date rape drug. He barely remembers what happened to him, he recalls the dizzy aftermath.

Why did the traces of that path feel like screams? […] It was the pain of a naive and awkward emotion dying. He didn't know what he had hoped for, but he knew he hadn't wished for this, and thus, a mournful moan escaped him. (613)

Yuder very much did not consent to this and didn’t want it – and neither did Kishiar! Turning has done an incredibly good job at leading up to this, pointing out the loss of control. Much earlier already, Yuder remembers part of the conversation he has with Kishiar in the aftermath, during which Kishiar apologizes and affirms it’s not Yuder’s fault and also that he doesn’t know what happened, but that he will figure it out (142, 159). We know Kishiar figured something out for sure, even if not everything, but that also makes you wonder. We know they kept hooking up, we also know that Yuder carries the trauma of that experience with him. When he experiences his second gender manifestation in the second timeline, he’s afraid and thinks the outcome is almost inevitable.

"Yuder Aile. Whatever you're afraid of now, I promise it will never happen. Won't you trust me?" [...] Overwhelmed by heat, self-loathing, and confusion, Yuder sighed and closed his eyes. Even his gasping sounds felt disgustingly repulsive, making his stomach churn (160).

It’s not, but we also know Kishiar was holding himself to an unexpected degree and had the luck of not being near his own heat cycle.

Additionally, we know that Yuder wants guidelines on how to handle second gender manifestations because of incidents in the first timeline. It’s not entirely impossible that similar situations of (near) mutual non-con happened.

And this, finally, brings us to a part of the novel that I honestly when I read was appalled, but didn’t fully grasp until later.

The Apeto Experiments

Beltreil’s experiments are absolutely horrifying. We don’t actually see the experiments themselves, but we learn the results of his experiments. The goal was to figure out whether Awakener children could fix the curse on their bloodline (462), which is why they were so keen to get second gender awakeners (95).

What Beltreil concludes from the experiments is this:

Second gender manifestation in one Awakener, can trigger the same in another non-manifested one. (132)

In Alphas and Omegas who have reached their mating cycles, sexual attraction always occurs, though to varying degrees. (184)

Even if one party is not in heat, sexual attraction can occur, but the probability of copulation appears to be extremely low if one party is in a normal state. (184)

Pregnancy does not always result from copulation between Alphas and Omegas who have reached their mating cycles. (184)

Physical reactions manifest such as scent, along with heightened senses, sexual arousal, excessive protectiveness, a sense of unity surpassing camaraderie. (184)

Awakeners who have manifested their second gender become vulnerable during heat. (184)

The chance of a child being born between second gender Awakeners is extremely low. No child has been born safely, resulting in either miscarriage or in the sudden death of the parent. (462)

And then we have to ask, how exactly did Beltreil conclude all of this? Well, the way he came about his results is written down quite directly.

He had gathered powerless commoners who had Awakened from all over the empire, almost kidnapping them. Initially, he attempted to transform himself into an Awakener by exchanging his blood with theirs, but after failing, he moved on to forcing Awakeners with second gender to conceive children, with the intention of observing the process. (462)

Or to put it more plainly: He locked them in a cell and forced people to rape each other, probably either under conditions similar to Kishiar and Yuder’s case waiting for them to lose control, or by forcing them. During the trial, one Awakener brings up many dying due to “vomiting blood due to the drugs they were forced to consume, drugs that were purported to induce heat period” (209).

Just carefully read through the list above, and try to imagine under what circumstances you’d find the conditions for this. While we can’t be sure this is particularly correct – Kishiar notes how inhuman the conditions of these experiments were and that these writings should not be believed – he does put some belief in it, considering how careful he is not to knock Yuder up (462, 620).

Beltreil started his experiments a year ago, so just a year after Awakeners appeared. For there to be miscarriages to happen which even resulted in the death of the parent, suggesting they probably happened later during the pregnancy, he probably rather quickly stopped the whole blood transfusion and switched over to assault. In the first timeline, Yuder never learns of this, but he isn’t particularly shocked this was happening either. At the very start, Yuder already notes that some omegas “were even kidnapped and used as sexual playthings by aristocrats who coveted rare and peculiar possessions” (3).

So now let’s talk about what the Orr Empire (didn’t) do about this.

Laws and Regulations in the Orr Empire

So Yuder notes that “in the past, laws could only be established after numerous accidents had occurred” (38) and that he “had gone through a lot of trouble to push through regulations and laws related to the second gender, against the opposition of greedy nobles” (68). From this we conclude that in the first timeline, due to Kishiar mcfucking dying, Yuder was the one pushing for laws and regulations regarding second gender manifestation, but probably Awakeners in general.

They have to deal with kidnapping, human experimentation, slavery, assault – a continuously long list of hurt. And this is in the Orr Empire – the best place to be an Awakener on the continent. Every other country is worse, except, perhaps, Nelarn later on, because Ejain is an Awakener himself.

One of the issues Yuder also had is that “there were hardly any scholars conducting proper research on the abilities and physical changes of the Awakeners and it was nearly impossible for the leader of the Cavalry, who came from a commoner background, to correct misconceptions and prejudice alone” (68).

This is important because this means that the preconceived notions of Awakeners are what determine the law. Omega Awakeners are weak, Awakeners in heat are sexual beings.

Yuder notes that “rumors began to circulate that perverse, wealthy individuals were buying Omegas for their alleged enhancing or aphrodisiac properties, even though no evidence supported such claims” (585).

If you really want to push it through, then laws and regulations are needed because otherwise you could – and I’m sure that in universe they did – argue that it isn’t assault if an Awakener is in heat. They’re asking for it, after all.

And Yuder in the past did what he could, from having rooms set aside for people to safely spend their heat for example.

During his time as a Commander, Yuder used various local branches as shelters to protect Omegas going through their heat periods. Anyone experiencing an impending heat period could visit a Cavalry branch, receive sleeping medicines, and use the isolation facilities. (585)

The fact that this was necessary, speaks miles about the conditions at the time were like. So it makes sense that Kishiar, now in the second timeline, quickly wants to bring about proper laws concerning Awakeners as there is “still no formal law concerning those with the second gender” (520), even if we know that by 583 they’re working on it – one can only assume that once Kishiar and Yuder get back from the North, Keilusa’s clean up will have included some changes towards that.

Conclusion

Do I have a final conclusion? This is already 2k longer than I wanted it to be. I think in the end, what this essay boils down to can be summoned up as “the treatment of second gender Awakeners was horrific” and “a lot of Yuder’s reactions and beliefs regarding his own second gender (manifestation) can be directly traced back to this.

#yuder aile #kishiar la orr #turning #터닝 #meta #mind the cws!!!

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steddieunderdogfics · 5 months ago

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This week’s writer spotlight feature is: judasofsuburbia! @judasofsuburbia has 31 fics in the Stranger Things fandom and 24 of them are in the Steddie tag!

@cheatghost recommends the following works by @judasofsuburbia:

shake this world off my shoulders

the seventh heaven (when i kissed the teacher)

wanna be the only one for miles and miles (except for maybe you)

you make my life worthwhile (it's all about you)

get up and shake the glitter off your clothes

If you were to ask Emily what they think about their work, she'd probably say something along the lines of, "haha, it's just silly smut!" And even if that may very well be the case with some fics (and I'm so, so grateful for it), the one true constant in all of Emily's writing is the heart. They are truly an expert at weaving genuine emotion and care into their work, infusing every moment, every scene, every fic with so much passion. -- @cheatghost

Below the cut, @judasofsuburbia answered some questions about their writing process and some of their recommended work!

Why do you write Steddie?

I’ve been a fan of Stranger Things since it came out in 2016 and of course, I fell in love with Steve’s character right away. But never in the show did I think they gave him a good love interest. His relationship with Nancy is obviously a catalyst for a lot of plot devices and it was important to the growth of both of their characters but it naturally had to end. Then…in walks Eddie Munson. I remember watching the forest scene for the first time and little alarm bells went off in my head. They have a great jumping off point of being the big brother figure of these dweeby teenagers, both being older and stuck in Hawkins, both being endearingly lame in their own unique ways but still having that opposites attract energy. Their dynamic was so fun to me, even in the limited scenes that we got, and I finally thought “Yeah. This guy. That’s Steve’s love interest.”

What’s your favorite trope to READ?

I’ll read just about anything if it’s recommended to me or a beloved friend writes it but I have a particular soft spot for future fics. Getting to see these characters grow and heal from what happened to them while also being in love or falling in love really hits home for me.

What’s your favorite trope to WRITE?

I write a lot of AUs for this couple. It seems I love putting my boys into situations lmao BUT I think I adore writing love confessions the most. Like no matter what universe they’re in, they’re going to have this realization of love and it’s going to just pour out of them.

What’s your favorite Steddie fic?

My 252 bookmarks are shaking in their boots at this question so I’m going to shout out just a few! Bright Things series by @cheatghost, took you for a working boy by pukner, Catch Me (I’m Falling) by @fragilecapric0rnn, driving in your car by @kkpwnall, and carve your name into my chest by @hexiewrites.

Is there a trope you’re excited to explore in a future work but haven’t yet?

I would love to explore a Monster AU. I’ve technically written Kas!Eddie but I’d love to explore something more like demon/creature/werewolf SOMETHING because I always find those stories so interesting.

What is your writing process like?

It usually starts with like one line or one idea that I hurriedly jot down in my notes app or in a new document. Then, I find songs that relate to that premise or scenes from other media that help inspire me. Usually, I plan it out bullet point style in a physical notebook and then start writing bit by bit!

Do you have any writing quirks?

Somehow making everything cultivate into something sexual lmao. It;s now a joke amongst me and my friends that I can always make something horny. But really, I love what can be discovered, what can be said, what can be revealed, and what can change a character throughout a sexual scene. Not every fic I write has smut in it but a vast majority do and it’s because I love getting to use smut as a tool for something else.

Do you prefer posting when you’ve finished writing or on a schedule?

Definitely once I’ve finished something. When I was first starting out, I posted chapters for long fics as soon as they were done and that led to me abandoning fics because I simply ran out of spoons to write them. Now, I’m much more conscious of what I’m putting out there and making sure it’s completed before I start posting. I might make personal schedules for myself but I very rarely stick to them lmao.

Which fic are you most proud of?

Definitely my zombie apocalypse series “the darkest hour is just before dawn”. Those fics came together in a matter of a few weeks and I just loved being able to dive into each of those couples (the spicy six) and figure out how they would react differently to their circumstance. It started with me picturing Eddie with a southern accent but only when he’s stressed, angry, or drunk. What’s more stressful than a zombie apocalypse?

How did you get the idea for get up and shake the glitter off your clothes?

The song “Waking Up in Vegas” by Katy Perry came up on shuffle and my brain said “Oh, there’s something here.” It started as just a blurb of Steve waking up extremely hungover, noticing Eddie’s in bed with him, and then seeing Eddie’s mood ring on his left ring finger in a hotel mirror. I posted that blurb just to Tumblr and my brain just kept thinking about it and now it’s a whole fic!

When writing you make my life worthwhile (it's all about you), what was something you didn’t expect?

That it is so, so hard to write breakup fics. Because you never want one of them to be “the bad guy” or to be toxic in a way that leads to heartbreak. I struggled with shaping the narrative in a way that you could understand the hurt from both sides but I’m really happy with how it turned out (them making up of course!!)

What inspired you make my life worthwhile (it's all about you)?

It was 100% my days being in the 5 Seconds of Summer fandom when I was a teenager. I remember having to defend that band to people, saying “It’s not a boy band! They all play instruments! They’re just a band!” but now I can see how their marketing was catered to teenage girls and how that led so many people to believing they were similar to One Direction. The first thing that came to mind was Eddie having to fight for his music to be taken seriously and that spawned this idea of him, Steve, Argyle, and Jonathan being in a similar band and Eddie wanting out.

What was your favorite part to write from wanna be the only one for miles and miles (except for maybe you)?

I’m a sucker for wound care so writing Steve sitting a grumpy Eddie down to tend to his wounds with kisses and jokes was a lot of fun!! I’m also a cowboy enthusiast so that AU was a hoot and a half for me all around.

How do/did you feel writing the seventh heaven (when i kissed the teacher)?

MUSHY. Mushy as all get out. I love, love, love writing Steddie with kids. I just think there is so much domesticity and softness to kid fics, especially if a character is a single parent. I was seriously a pile of mush writing that fic and making them all lovey dovey.

What was the most difficult part of writing shake this world off my shoulders?

Candidly, it was figuring out how they were supposed to be alone so they could have sex. They’re always traveling as one big group, sleeping in unconventional places, and taking turns being on watch. Finding a realistic setting and a realistic circumstance was very difficult!

Do you have a favorite scene and/or line from any of your fics?

It’s hard to choose just one but I do think about this passage a lot from hey now, don’t dream it’s over: “Because even if Steve didn’t think he’d get this far. Even if he thought he wouldn’t see 21 let alone 30. Wouldn’t keep in touch and love with all his heart a gang of misfits from Hawkins. Wouldn’t fall in love with a wonderfully crazy man and adopt two beautiful girls with him. Wouldn’t be held when he cried or celebrated when he smiled. Wouldn’t wake up each morning and wipe sticky faces, talk high school seniors through college doubts and fears, wave his hand through the wind out his car window listening to pop radio in Chicago traffic, scoop mac and cheese onto Disney-themed plates, get kisses from his partner that make his kids groan, hear about their days, all their imaginations, their creativity, and everything they love and hate about the world, bath time every night, putting their hair in soapy mohawks, hearing their bright giggles, and tucking them into bed. Ending up in bed with the one person he loves more than anything just to wake up and do it all over again. He never, ever thought he would actually get this. But he did and he loves it. He doesn’t want to feel guilty for loving it anymore. He pulls away from Eddie’s neck and just beams at him. Eddie, who is more or less confused by the range of emotions he’s sporting, smiles right back at him. Steve kisses him deeply and feels Eddie wipe away his tears throughout their kiss. Steve Harrington is thirty years old and is enamored with the very thought of it.”

Do you have any upcoming projects or fics you’d like to share/promote?

Nothing huge in the works right now! Mostly just waiting for inspiration to strike again.

Outside of these questions, Is there anything YOU would like to add?

Just that this fandom has changed my life in immeasurable ways. I am so happy that this community exists and the various types of showstopping art I get to engage with because of this show. I have made some of my very best friends in this fandom and I wouldn’t change that for the world. Thank you for all the love and laughter, thank you for nominating me (seriously that is so incredibly sweet), and thank you for loving these boys as much as I do.

Thank you to our author, @judasofsuburbia, and our nominator, @cheatghost! See more of judasofsuburbia's works featured on our page throughout the day!

Writer’s Spotlight is every Wednesday! Want to nominate an author? You can nominate them here!

#writer's spotlight #steddie #steddie fic recs #steve harrington #eddie munson #steve x eddie #stranger things #steddie writers #ao3 writer

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autumnalwalker · 2 years ago

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Manuscript Search Tag

Thank you for the tag, @talesofsorrowandofruin.

My given words are familiar, frighten, fun, foggy & fill.

Passing the tag outside of my usual tag game circle this time to @hyba, @aether-wasteland-s, @worldstogetlostin, @equusgirl-writes, & @saintedseraph. I hope you do not mind. My apologies if it is unwanted. Also the usual open tag for anyone else who wishes to participate.

Your words shall be fancy, fear, failed, from, & funny

The following excerpts are all pulled from @thearchivistsjournal.

Familiar: Day 74

As for those other second floor rooms, they appeared to be additional bedrooms, although one had been converted to a storage closet for stacks of paintings. Dozens of canvases piled one on top of the other as they were set to lean against the walls or lay on top of the bed. Most looked to be landscapes and still lifes, but there were some portraits mixed in. Some of them didn’t look like anything I’d expect to find in the Village or its surrounding islands yet felt achingly familiar. Deserts, mountains, snowy fields, pine forests, buildings of glass and metal. Were these drawn from Priscila’s outsider memories? Stories? Pure flights of fancy? If they were outsider recollections, did Priscilla paint them, or just describe them to her husband?

Frighten: Day 148

Once my plate was cleared I took the… well not so much “stage” as “spot where tables had been pushed aside to make a ring.” In a mood to match the hour and the weather I warned the audience that this night’s tales would be ones not of adventure and daring, but of fear and those things that lurk in the dark. They laughed and took it as a challenge. Good. If I failed to frighten, they would be able to boast of their courage, and if I succeeded… well, they say there’s a kind of catharsis in horror fiction.

Fun: Day 74

We wound up spending the night taking turns telling the story to Maiko. Afterwards I asked them what they all made of the ending, with the girl climbing the tallest highest tree. Maiko was frustrated that it just ended there without resolution. Cass said that she liked to think the girl wound up in yet another world and kept on having adventures until one day her parents finally caught up with her and joined her on travels like they said they would “One Day.” Lin said that she used to think something similar. Then as she got older she started to think it was more likely that the girl would have failed to climb that impossible tree, but that was no fun as a story. These days she figures that the point of the ending, the story’s final lesson, is that there simply aren’t answers to some things, and that’s okay.

Foggy: Day 219

The other part of the visit that went as I’d hoped was that I was able to get Tristan to do some rough sketches of islands we might pass by and/or stop at on the way there and back. It’s been long enough that his memory is a bit foggy so we can’t guarantee accuracy and certainly not precision, but it’s something. Should be good for cross-referencing with Maiko’s memory of her long ago trip to the healing spring. Unfortunately, we were all reeling too much from Maiko’s abrupt departure at the time to do much in the way of aerial sketching of the surrounding area.

Fill: Day 91

It’s funny though, my memory of this particular story is fuzzier than most, and for some reason I find myself associating it with music, but I can’t recall the music at all. Was it a song originally? Or maybe an instrumental piece that was meant to go along with a story that I never witnessed firsthand? Or maybe just meaning I personally assigned to a song. If that last one is the case, is it proper for me to use it? Would it be too presumptuous to tell a story I came up with instead of someone else’s? Then again, I don’t know that it was me who came up with it. And with the way all the stories already in the archive are transformed by memory and retelling, how much of their authorship lies with the original in whatever world outsiders come from and how much lies with the ones that brought them here? I’ll admit, even with some of my own tellings I’ve done so far, parts have been less memory and more logical deduction from the parts I do remember in order to fill gaps.

#tag game #manuscript search tag #find the word tag #my writing

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late-to-the-fandom · 2 years ago

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Writer Tag Game

Thank you @ceph-the-ghost-writer, I envy your writing process (I dream of being both a successful pantser and a person who has more worth literary ideas than just *what if these two people kissed*)

Tagging: @shipping-through-eternity @mousterian-writes @darknightfrombeyond @frostedlemonwriter @velvethopewrites @diaryofomellas @scourge-lover

1. Do you write in order?

Not remotely. Neither my brainstorming process nor (in the case of my current series) my final posting is done in chronological order. And I love it. I’m going to miss it so much when I leave this series because I don’t think I can get away with it every time 😞

2. Do you start with something particular?

Dialogue. Every story within my series, and every story concept I ever have, starts as a conversation between two characters. They basically just have conversations independent of me in my head and I write it down as accurately as I can. Sometimes, as I flesh out a story, I purposefully put the two characters in a Situation and write down what they say/do in order to develop plot points that didn’t immediately come to me, but dialogue is still the life blood of that.

3. How fully formed does your writing come out the first try?

Not at all. My first drafts are just dialogue with some shorthand action tags. Being able to sit down and write from beginning to end every part of a story is a foreign language I have not learned to speak. I’d like to though.

4. How many drafts do you go through?

Anywhere between 3-100+. Some stories only needed a very short drafting process because I was able to take them from dialogue to full scene easily (Interrupted, Taking the Tremaculum, and An Ember Court to Remember were all like this). Others… others require a lot of drafts, usually because I’ve got something in it wrong and the scene Won’t Work and it’s a trial and error of drafts until I figure out what.

5. Tell me about your process?

Typically my process is 1) fall in love with character 2) imagine a hundred little dialogues, scenarios, situations about them 3) start putting those scenes in chronological order

If it feels like somewhere in those scenes there’s a story worth telling, and if it has a beginning and end, AND if the fandom hasn’t already done the story before, I will write the story.

I then create the outline of everything that needs to happen to get from beginning to end, which is where I figure out if I’m missing scenes or if any of my scenes need to be cut . Once I have a first draft of every scene, I create a posting schedule designed to give me two weeks to take a story in the series/chapter from first draft to finished draft. If I don’t have a deadline I will procrastinate till the end of time (see: the month of January

#tag games #my writing #Renathal x maw walker

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aziraphales-library · 3 years ago

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Hi, this community is lovely! Thank you! I checked tags and only found a few- do you or readers know of any action-adventure GO gen or pairing - which might not have been recced on this blog yet? Any gems that have been overlooked because they don’t have a lot of comments or kudos or likes or are not by popular people but have a good story (and grammar, sorry!)

Hello! Here are some great action adventure fics that haven't done crazy numbers for you to enjoy...

Wednesday by Raphaela_Crowley (T)

After a bizarre confrontation with Hastur and one really bad cup of tea, Crowley finds himself in an alternate universe wherein he's back to being the archangel Raphael, there's no Arrangement, and Aziraphale is actively trying to discorporate him.

The worst part?

Every time Aziraphale succeeds in offing him, and "Raphael" is returned to earth with a new body, the day resets. It's always the same doomed Wednesday, over and over and over again.

Getting into this time-loop was an accident; getting out and back home again (if Crowley ever manages it) will have to be something entirely else.

The Treasure of Palenque by ImprobableDreams900 (T)

Having just crossed the Atlantic, the anthropologist Aziraphale finds himself in need of a local guide to take him through the Mexican jungle to the ancient Maya city of Palenque. Luckily, the services of one A. J. Crowley are available.

Demons & Angels by Seltzer_In_Shadow (T)

The angel Aziraphale is tasked with thwarting Hells schemes involving; the illuminati, the pope, four cardinals and some antimatter. Heaven's "straight forward" plan, however, is thrown when the demon Crowley turns up to take credit for the murder of the pope. Realizing there is more to the mystery than Heaven or Hell has let on, the pair set out to save the day using art, science and the very history they have lived.

In this AU I will be tearing Dan Brown's Angels & Demons to shreds and rebuilding it as the fun dumb Good Omens mystery fic it was meant to be all along. For the purpose of this story the canon apocalypse plan has not been put into motion.

The Fatal American Need (to have a pretty good time) by lucky_spike (T)

Aziraphale and Anathema exchanged a look. “B - But my dear boy. It’s a wonderful opportunity to be sure, but … must you go all the way to America?”

“Well yeah.” Adam looked puzzled. “Got to, for sure. Figured I’d take the summer to really, y’know, research weather and study it in America.” Adam had recently started university and was studying meteorology, and he was quite keen on the subject. It made sense, Anathema and Newt reasoned. He always had taken a particular interest in the weather.

“There’s weather all over the place,” Brian pointed out, tossing his head to shake his bangs from his eyes and successfully flipping his ponytail into his drink instead. He continued, nonplussed, “What’s America got that you’re runnin’ off for a few weeks?”

Adam grinned wider, if that were possible. “Well, glad you asked Brian, because that’s the really brilliant part. I -” he paused, for dramatic effect, “- will be joining a storm chasing team.”

In which Adam goes to America to chase tornadoes, Crowley and Aziraphale follow to keep him safe, strange coincidences occur, and tornadoes aren't the only deadly thing around.

Demon Detective by CousinSerena (T)

The Apocalypse has been averted--but after being relieved of duty by the head office, what’s a demon to do? Aziraphale stays busy with his bookshop, so Crowley decides to open his own business, a detective agency, right down the street. After all, detectives are cool and there might be car chases. His first case involves a mysterious blonde, a haunted house, and a reluctant angel who gets roped into the affair. Hopefully they can solve the case before one of them is killed—or inconveniently discorporated.

Blame It on the Goose by almaasi (G)

Village shenanigans AU where neighbours Aziraphale and Crowley are given the runaround by a particularly rude goose.

Or:

When Anthony J. Crowley moves to a pleasant English village, he expects to begin a peaceful life, gardening and minding his own business. He pretends not to notice his new neighbour, some flamboyant toff named Azira-something, who seems to do nothing but eat, and illustrate birds. But there’s a horrible goose on the loose, and it and its friends are causing a disturbing amount of havoc. Stealing shoes, squashing flowers, unlocking gates, tangling hosepipes... and sending Crowley out of the house with no clothes on in the middle of the night to borrow some underpants from the aforementioned neighbour. The entire population of Lower Tadfield is in uproar over these innocent-looking monsters. Something must be done! If Aziraphale and Crowley have to team up to defeat a gaggle of psychotic geese, so be it. And if they happen to like each other more than expected, so be that, too. What good is a peaceful life without a dear friend, anyhow?

- Mod D

#good omens #ineffable husbands #action/adventure #mod d

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cqlfeels · 3 years ago

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@lansplaining encouraged me to finish this random meta nobody asked for, so let's talk about Meng Yao, Meng Shi, and 孟母三遷 (mèng mǔ sān qiān), a proverb about good parenting.

A warning: this is super long (even for me!) and is less quality meta and more my ADHD brain jumping around a maze of loosely related ideas. Proceed with caution!

Let me start by briefly going through why I decided to write this, because it’s important. In haunting Meng Shi’s tag in my starvation for Meng Shi content, I’ve multiple times come across the idea that Meng Shi pushed Meng Yao too hard, that she should’ve been more careful with teaching him to seek his father’s approval at any cost, and that she was too naïve. I’ve never reblogged this kind of post because 1) I personally think it’s rude to go out of your way to ramble about how much you disagree with someone on their own post and 2) if this was an isolated incident I wouldn't care either way, so I didn’t want to direct this rant at anyone in particular. It’s more to do with a tendency, primarily (as far as I can tell) from fans who haven’t had much contact with Chinese culture, to oversimplify Meng Shi and make her relationship with Meng Yao slightly disturbing, and I think part of it is due to CQL basically cutting out her entire storyline (so fans simply don’t have info about her to assess her fairly) and part is due to misunderstanding what a good parent is supposed to act like in the context of Ancient China.

[Of course, Ancient China is not a very useful historical concept, not any more than “ye olde Europe” - things change a lot based on time and place - but you know. It’s fantasy. Extremely broad trends are okay in this case.]

Anyway, the idea behind the posts I mentioned is, basically, that Meng Shi (usually through no fault of her own) is to blame for Meng Yao’s obsession with power, since his desire for approval was inherited from lessons she taught him. Just to start with, I’d argue that Meng Yao isn’t power-hungry as much as he craves security and respect, but that’s a different meta. Let’s assume that she really did teach him to be Like That. Was she wrong to do so? I’m not looking for “does that make for a happy, well-adjusted childhood?” or “would you raise your own son as Meng Shi did?” - I’m trying to figure out, would she have been considered a bad mother in the context of the society she lived in? I don’t think she would’ve.

It is surprisingly hard to find texts about the obligations of parents in Ancient China. Their main obligation is to raise filial children, but I feel like that’s not very useful: whether or not parents are good parents, children are expected to be filial, so a child being filial really says more about the child than about the parent. Maybe the parent completely missed the mark and society at large was what taught the child to be filial!

We can assume, of course, that parents were to raise good people, and that by learning what a good person looked like, we could figure out whether the parent was successful, but once again, I feel like that’s pinning things on the outcome, not on the process - the best of parents can end up with an awful kid and vice versa.

While thinking about all this, it took me a frankly embarrassing amount of time to remember the story of Mother Meng and Meng Zi, but once I did, it wouldn’t leave my mind - in part because the Meng here is the exact same Meng of Meng Shi and Meng Yao (yay! fun if useless parallel!), and in part because this is a story about how a woman can successfully raise a son by herself.

Okay, so important note: one of the most influential ancient Chinese thinkers is Meng Zi (孟子 Mèng Zǐ), who is known in the West as Mencius. If you've never heard of him - he's perhaps second in importance only to Confucius. When Mencius was still a young child, his father died, so he was raised by his mother, who is usually known only as Mother Meng (in Chinese, 孟母 Mèng Mǔ.)

Mother Meng's story is told in Biographies of Exemplary Women (列女傳 Liènǚ Zhuàn), which for around 2000 years beginning around the 18th century BCE, was the most commonly used book used to educate women. The book is divided into sections, each one showing a different way women could be honorable and good. Mother Meng's story is told in the Maternal Models section (母儀傳 Mǔ Yí Zhuàn.) The story has a few parts, some of which I'll quote, always from Kinney's 2014 translation.

Before I go on to quote it, though, I'd like to establish that Mother Meng's story is so, so famous that even if Meng Shi had never read this particular book, I'm almost certain she would've been familiar with at least the outlines of Mother Meng's story. I'm not cherry picking a suitable chapter from the book, I'm literally going with the most famous story in it because Meng Shi would be most likely to know this one if she knew no other story.

Okay, the first part of the tale takes place when Mencius is a young boy and Mother Meng is a widow raising him.

The mother of Meng Ke of Zou [a different name for Mencius] was called Mother Meng. She lived near a graveyard. During Mencius’ youth, he enjoyed playing among the tombs, romping about pretending to prepare the ground for burials. Mother Meng said, “This is not the place to raise my son.” She therefore moved away and settled beside the marketplace. But there he liked to play at displaying and selling wares like a merchant. Again Mother Meng said, “This is not the place to raise my son,” and once more left and settled beside a school. There, however, he played at setting out sacrificial vessels, bowing, yielding, entering, and withdrawing. His mother said, “This, indeed, is where I can raise my son!” and settled there. When Mencius grew up, he studied the Six Arts, and finally became known as a great classicist. A man of discernment would say, “Mother Meng was good at gradual transformation.”

According to the translator's footnote, "gradual transformation" is "a childrearing technique, whereby a child is morally formed through daily exposure to correct models of behavior."

From this story comes the proverb 孟母三遷 (Mèng Mǔ sān qiān) - "Mother Meng moved three times." It's come to mean that a parent - especially the mother of a male child - should spare no efforts to provide an environment that will give their child a good education, paying particular attention to what models are surrounding them.

I'm sure I don't need to say if Meng Shi was at all familiar with this proverb (and she would probably be), she must have been very stressed out over literally raising her son in a brothel. (Here I must mention sex workers in ancient China were often essentially owned by the brothels, so literally "moving three times" wasn't really an option for Meng Shi even if she could miraculously pick up another trade.) Meng Shi did however at least try to surround Meng Yao with the accomplishments appropriate for the son of a cultivator:

Xiao-Meng, are you still learning those things lately? [...] The things your mom wants you to learn, things like calligraphy, etiquette, swordsmanship, meditation… How are those things going? [...] His mom’s raising him as a young master of a wealthy family. She taught him how to read and write, bought him all those swordsmanship pamphlets, and even wants to send him to school.

Meng Yao actually talks a little bit about “those swordsmanship pamphlets” in the only time in canon he directly shares memories about this mother:

Lan XiChen, “Your [guqin] skills are also considered quite fine outside of Gusu. Were they taught by your mother?”

Jin GuangYao, “No. I taught myself by watching others. She never taught me such things. She only taught me reading and writing, and bought a handful of expensive sword and cultivation guides for me to practice.”

Lan XiChen seemed surprised, “Sword and cultivation guides?”

Jin GuangYao, “Brother, you haven’t seen them before, have you? Those small booklets sold by the common folk. First jumbled sketches of human figures, then deliberately mystified captions.”

Lan XiChen shook his head, smiling. Jin GuangYao shook his head as well, “All of them are scams, especially to fool women like my mother and ignorant children. You won’t lose anything by practicing them, but you definitely won’t gain anything either.”

He sighed in a rueful way, “But how could my mother have known this? She bought them no matter how expensive they were, saying that if I returned to see my father in the future, I had to see him with as much competence as possible so that I don’t fall behind. All of the money was spent on this.”

See what’s happening? Meng Shi cannot physically take Meng Yao to cultivators, but she spares no efforts in giving him the closest thing she possibly can -- figuratively, we might say she moved three times.

Of course, these booklets don’t work, but as Meng Yao says, how could she have known this? The cultivation world is very closed off - think of how the entire Mo household gathers to see Lan juniors, and how Wei Wuxian mentions once that “Cultivation families, in the eyes of common folk, are like people favored by God, mysterious yet noble.” Not just noble, but mysterious. That tracks, too - I mean, they live in inaccessible households and mostly leave to night hunt or visit each other, neither of which is an activity that would allow commoners to get much more than an occasional glimpse of them.

Now, if Meng Shi doesn’t even know that a pearl for Jin Guangshan was just a trinket, if she doesn’t know even the wealth of a major sect, how can she read booklets and decide whether that’s genuine cultivation or not? All that she sees is a chance for Meng Yao to be surrounded by the ideas and skills of the people she wants him to emulate - cultivators - and therefore she does everything she can to get him that chance. Mother Meng moved three times.

Okay, but maybe the argument is not “Meng Shi shouldn’t have pushed Meng Yao to cultivation” but rather “she should’ve pushed him, just not too hard." To that, I present another tale from Mencius' childhood:

Once, when Mencius was young, he returned home after finishing his lessons and found his mother spinning. She asked him, “How far did you get in your studies today?” Mencius replied, “I’m in about the same place as I was before.” Mother Meng thereupon took up a knife and cut her weaving. Mencius was alarmed and asked her to explain. Mother Meng said, “Your abandoning your study is like my cutting this weaving. A man of discernment studies in order to establish a name and inquires to become broadly knowledgeable. By this means, when he is at rest, he can maintain tranquility and when he is active, he can keep trouble at a distance. If now you abandon your studies, you will not escape a life of menial servitude and will lack the means to keep yourself from misfortune. How is this different from weaving and spinning to eat? If one abandons these tasks midway, how can one clothe one’s husband and child and avoid being perpetually short of food? If a woman abandons that with which she nourishes others and a man is careless about cultivating his virtue, if they don’t become brigands or thieves, then they will end up as slaves or servants.” Mencius was afraid. Morning and evening he studied hard without ceasing. He served Zisi [a great scholar whose grandfather was Confucius] as his teacher and then became one of the most renowned classicists in the world.

Notice that Mother Meng moved three times to ensure Mencius would have the highest of aspirations - to become a scholar. But just aspiration isn’t enough. Not by any means. Now that Mencius is actually studying, Mother Meng is willing to take an extreme action to ensure he's taking it seriously. Mencius doesn't have a father to smooth his path to success. He has to learn that aspiring to greatness isn't enough. He'll have to put in the effort as if his life depended on it. And if he doesn't persist in his hard work, everything he's done thus far will be useless. Sounds like a lesson imparted on young Meng Yao, doesn’t it?

A lot of fandom rage towards Meng Shi would apply to China's Best Mom Contender, Mother Meng. She gives her son big dreams, and teaches him how to go about achieving them in a society where failing is easier than succeeding. Yes, it's fair to say that Meng Shi taught Meng Yao to refuse to settle for anything less than being “Jin Guangshan's son, a respected cultivator.” Yes, it's also fair to say that she probably didn't allow him much time to play like children his age did. But unfortunately, in the world of MDZS, poor children probably wouldn't get to play anyhow, the difference is that they'd usually be working, not studying. Studying is a privilege! It’s a privilege Meng Yao could not afford but was given to him anyway, through his mother’s many sacrifices. We can even say that while she was alive, Meng Shi was trying to ensure Meng Yao would one day have a better life, at the expense of a fun childhood - and that's very Mother Meng of her, whatever our modern Western sensibilities might have to say about that.

Finally, I’d skip other tales (which show Mother Meng and an adult Mencius) and go straight to the poem that ends the Mother Meng section:

The mother of Mencius

Was able to teach, transform, judge, and discriminate.

With skill she selected a place to raise her son,

Prompting him to accord with the great principles.

When her son’s studies did not advance,

She cut her weaving to illustrate her point.

Her son then perfected his virtue;

His achievements rank as the crowning glory of his generation.

I’d like to focus on the last verse - “His achievements rank as the crowning glory of his generation.” All that Mother Meng wanted was for Mencius to not completely ruin his life, but he became great. You can so very easily see a parallel with how Meng Shi hoped Meng Yao would be a cultivator but he became Jin Guangyao, Chief Cultivator, styled Lianfang-zun, one of the Three Venerable, hero of the Sunshot Campaign.

Of course you can say “Jin Guangyao did many Very Wrong Things to get there, though!” Which, sure, okay, fair point. How many and how wrong depends on which canon we're discussing, and your own interpretation, but there’s no version of the story in which Jin Guangyao is 100% an innocent child uwu. But blaming that on Meng Shi is just... straight up weird? I don’t see anyone going “If Jiang Fengmian hadn’t adopted Wei Wuxian, he’d never have dared become Yiling Laozu!” and that’s pretty much the same logic. Would street kid Wei Wuxian have invented a new type of cultivation if he had never been taken in by the Jiang? Probably not, but raising undead armies is very much not something Jiang Fengmian could’ve predicted. In the same way, how could Meng Shi have predicted that teaching her pre-adolescent son “You are the son of a cultivator, act like one and earn your place in society” would’ve ultimately resulted in innocent deaths? How could she predict “You’re not destined to having the same horrible life I did, you can get something better than this” was a bad thing to teach? I quite honestly don’t know.

Finally, I'd like to point towards a much flimsier evidence that Meng Shi did great as a parent. And that is Meng Yao’s love. Nie Huaisang at some point comments Meng Shi is someone who Meng Yao "cherishes more than his life," and I think his assessment is correct.

Even putting aside the fact he built a whole temple to get his mother to reincarnate into a better life, and even putting aside how he refuses to flee the country without her remains, there's still crystal clear evidence that Meng Shi must've done something right. Because a lifetime of people using his mother to bully him doesn't seem to have made Meng Yao resent her. Had their relationship not have been very strong, odds are he'd feel bitter and/or ashamed of her. That doesn't seem to be the case. He's attached to her even decades after her death.

I want to be very careful with equating mutual affection with good parenting, though. When I was a rather rebellious teenager, my mother (in typical Chinese fashion) used to say that parents and children don't have to love each other as long as they're dutiful to each other, by which she meant that a parent-child relationship isn't informed by warm and fuzzy feelings, but by whether you'd be willing to do anything for each other. Specific to my case, she meant "I don't care if it makes you hate me, you will do as you're told because that's what's best for you." (That may also be the reason why people more familiar with Chinese culture see the Jiang family less as outright abusive and more as #complicated, but that's another meta.)

Whether your kid wants to hug you every time they see you is of no consequence to traditional Chinese thought - raising them to be the best they can is all that matters, because at the end of the day, you won't be around forever, but you can definitely set up your kid's life so that it goes smoothly and virtuously. How that's accomplished varies depending on many factors, but to have the goal be "I want my child to love me" rather than "I want to raise my child right" would've been considered selfish as hell.

So even if all that Meng Shi had given Meng Yao had been stern lessons about the need to go get his birthright, she would've still have been considered a good mother!! In fact, she would've been doing everything she was supposed to do, under extremely difficult conditions! (Remember the importance of environment? That Meng Yao grew up to want to be a cultivator despite having probably never even met one speaks wonders about Meng Shi's childrearing powers!!)

But just based off how over the top Meng Yao's filal dutifulness is, I'd go a step further and say that even as she did the impossible, she was also loving enough to inspire genuine affection. This is complicated because children who have present fathers could expect their mothers to be tender with them. The first century BCE text 禮記 Lǐ Jì or The Classic of Rites says that:

Here now is the affection of a father for his sons - he loves the worthy among them, and places on a lower level those who do not show ability; but that of a mother for them is such, that while she loves the worthy, she pities those who do not show ability - the mother deals with them on the ground of affection and not of showing them honour; the father, on the ground of showing them honour and not of affection.

But when the father figure is lacking for any reason, the mother must abandon her tenderness because someone must guide the child, and without a father, the role falls to the mother. A single or widowed mother had to be very careful to not smother their children with affection and raise useless, spoiled kids, or so it was thought. (The presence of Qingheng-jun and Lan Qiren is why Madame Lan can be so affectionate with the Lan boys, by the way - if she was raising them by herself she would've been expected to be much more practical. AUs where she just gets her kids and runs away could do very cool things with this idea. But I digress!)

Where was I? Oh, okay. Because Meng Yao seems to not just respect, but actively miss her, it seems that Meng Shi somehow managed to deal with her son on the ground of both honor and affection, to paraphrase.

So basically, all things considered, it seems not only would Meng Shi have been considered a great mom (if people could look past her being a prostitute, anyway) but she also went above and beyond the bare minimum. She truly spared no efforts on any front to make sure her son had everything your average gongzi would have - someone to teach him and someone to love him, access to education and confidence in his birthright. That she couldn't actually make him a cultivator, that she couldn't actually raise him in a proper home with no one being cruel to herself or him - that's immaterial. Even Mother Meng couldn't control what her neighbors did, only what she taught her son! The key point is Meng Shi tried. She did everything she could to educate her son right. You couldn't ask more of her, and quite honestly, you should probably be asking less.

Of course we can't err on the other extreme and say she was Perfect. Given MXTX only ever writes flawed characters, we can safely assume that if we'd known more about Meng Shi, we would've seen many flaws. Indeed, just the fact she didn't teach Meng Yao the guqin when he apparently wanted to learn it might point to some conflict we don't know enough to speculate about (maybe she focused too much on cultivation when Meng Yao's interests lay elsewhere? Maybe she wasn't able to sufficiently shelter him and he felt it'd be a burden to ask her to teach him anything? Maybe maybe maybe, go wild with your fics.) Nevertheless, I would never hold a female character to a higher ideal than a male character - if the male cast of MDZS can be a hot mess and still be admirable for what they're trying to do, then so can Meng Shi.

At the end of the day, when I look at Meng Shi - and I've made myself a document with all the references to her in the novel canon so I could easily contemplate her life and character - all I see is a woman every bit as determined and resourceful as her son, willing to do everything it took to raise her little boy into the sophisticated and ambitious man he became.

Finally, here's a fun little parallel that I'm 100% sure was unintentional but I still love. I said Meng Shi couldn't have moved three times. She couldn't, but I think maybe she taught her son he was worth moving three times for. Qinghe Nie. Qishan Wen. Lanling Jin. Isn't that super fun to think about?

Alternatively, tl;dr: Oh My God I Can't Believe We're Blaming Women For The Actions Of Their Adult Children In The Year Of Our Lord 2k21, Meng Shi Was Doing Her Best, Chill!

#drinking game #take a shot every time i say 'finally'#this post refused to let me get to the end of it lol #i think because i'm extremely salty about fanon stage mom meng shi #(to not say tiger mom meng shi which crosses into outright racism. but i'm giving people the benefit of the doubt)

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jjackrabbitt · 3 years ago

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That Damned AU

Hey guys (gn), I know you’ve heard me talk about this before, but I’ve actually been working on it now, so here’s part of it. It’s called That Damned AU because it’s been waking me up in the middle of the night to think about it for the last two years, so it’s just me damning it. I will probably change the name at some point. If you have any suggestions, I will gladly consider them. Basically, That Damned AU follows the events of the canonical story line of MPHFPC, but I’ve changed some things around, messed with some details, and added a few things. Mostly to fix or add to things that I have complaints about or wanted to hear more of. I will be tagging it as That Damned AU in case you want to block it

Before we begin I would like to thank @finn-nito for letting me talk his ear off about all this and in turn talking my ear off. It’s been a lot of fun doing this with you and getting to know you.

Now for the damned thing:

Ricky actually goes into the house with Jacob when Abe doesn’t immediately answer. Probably makes dumb comments about the decor or some thing. Goes back to his car for the gun when they see the screen door. Tells Jacob to stay there. Rushes back when he hears Jacob yell for Abe when the flashlight is found. Catches up to Jacob just on the edge of the woods and gives him shit for moving. Tries to lighten the mood and reassure Jacob, until they see the trail of blood. Is there with Jacob when he finds Abe. Ricky tries to keep Jacob from touching Abe because he thinks Abe is already dead. Both of them handle the situation Extremely Badly. We actually hear Abe call Jacob “little tiger” this time instead of just retconning it. Ricky alternates between trying to get enough signal to call the police and crouching with Jacob to try and help him. Abe’s riddle is delivered the same as before and Jacob does see the hallowghast. Ricky tries to shoot it but can’t because he doesn’t even know it’s there. When Jacob sees it he does grab onto Ricky and start shaking him with one hand, still holding onto Abe with the other.

Both boys have to be questioned, together and separately. Jacob sees Ricky’s interview because he gets a chance to snoop through the policeman's notes. He gets mad that Ricky wouldn’t admit to seeing the hallow and Ricky gets defensive about it. They don’t stop talking though because they mutually think the other is having a stress reaction and is seeing things/is erasing things from their own memories.

Jacobs parents didn’t really like Ricky before and they really don’t like him now because they think having him around will remind Jacob of finding Abe, but Jacob almost seems less stressed when Ricky’s around so they’ll allow it.

They don’t necessarily see each other more, but their interactions are way more emotionally charged now.

Ricky does start carrying his gun more because while he didn’t see the hallow, that was a scary night and he did hear something. He brings it into Jacobs house several times without Jacobs parents knowledge. This is a point of contention between Ricky and Jacob because if Jacobs parents find out Ricky will not be allowed back and will be cut off.

Because Ricky is still very much attached to Jacob when he starts seeing Dr. Golan this time, Ricky is in more danger of wights.

Dr. Golan hears a lot about Ricky. Probably significantly more than he wants to.

Ricky doesn’t get the medical attention that Jacob does because he’s poor and when Jacob knows Ricky’s having a problem he asks Dr. Golan for advice for Ricky.

Jacob is more resistant to Dr Golan’s work this time, because Ricky is there to call bullshit when he hears it and mentions that Jacob's meds are making him weird. Golan responds to this resistance by trying to convince Jacobs parents that Ricky is bad for Jacob. It does work but both of his parents are fairly shit at computers and they both have to sleep some time, so Jacob can still message Ricky and sneak out at night.

Ricky does appreciate when Jacob gets advice from Dr. Golan for him, but he does still give Jacob shit for therapizing him.

Both of them are being observed by wights at this point. Jacob gets a series of very weird food delivery guys and there’s like, three different cars that consistently follow Ricky. The food delivery guys aren’t outright weird, they just have the same ~*vibe*~ as Golan and some times they say strange shit. One of them knew his name without Jacob introducing himself.

The cars wouldn’t be weird if they weren’t definitely the same cars, didn’t only stop following Ricky when he A) was near his house or B) took random turns without signalling, and didn’t seem to follow any particular pattern to where he was seeing them. If they were in a similar area at similar times every day then okay, he just keeps seeing the same people on their way to work or whatever, but that’s not what’s happening.

Not much comes of it though. Jacob gets a few weird stomach aches, Ricky gets pulled over by a really strange cop once. Some one breaks into Ricky’s house while no one’s there and goes through stuff but doesn’t take anything or make a mess, the door’s open and a few things have moved when he gets home. You know, normal stuff.

Once, Jacobs parents go out of town. One of his mothers cousins is getting married, and they just aren’t sure that Jacob’s ready for travel and relatives and a party and everything. They don’t want to leave him for the weekend, but they both agree that he’s been doing really well lately (and it’s been months. They want to get out of the house and do Normal People Things). They tell Dr. Golan that Jacob’s going to be alone for the weekend and tell Jacob to go across the street to their neighbour for help if anything happens and they give the neighbour Dr. Golan’s number.

Roughly ten minutes after they leave, Ricky shows up. The Crown Vic goes in the garage, Alien is turned on, Chinese food is ordered and the weekend commences.

They barely even watch the movie, they’re busy talking. They fall asleep on the couch and honestly? It’s the best sleep Jacob has in months.

Until it’s about 4 a.m. and Jacob wakes up violently because this time the scene in his dream changed. This time he and Abe are in Abaton. He doesn’t know it’s Abaton, of course, and though the events of the dream have change, this one feels worse some how. Now he’s missing his grandfather and this place that he doesn’t even know what it is. He feels weirdly protective of it.

Dr. Golan Really doesn’t like Ricky. It’s significantly harder to manipulate Jacob if Ricky’s there to call bullshit. It’s still pretty easy to get Jacob to go to Cairnholm though. Even Ricky doesn’t call him a quack over it. Only tells Jacob to send him a post card of the only place on earth that’s more of a nowhere than Englewood, Florida.

Jacob does have some apprehension over being separated from Ricky, but he figures it’ll be okay since there will be a phone at their hotel.

They do spend a lot little more together than usual in the weeks leading up to Cairnholm. It worries both of them that they’ll be more than a 20 minute drive from the other. Jacob’s more obvious about it, Ricky (poorly) pretends it won’t bother him that much.

Jacob does bring one of his dads less favoured cameras with him, to take pictures.

His dad does try to insist that Jacob spends some time with him to look at birds. It’s funny, they keep seeing this one peregrine hanging around. Some times she, Frank says it’s a she, flies over them. She doesn’t seem too interested in hunting. Some times she disappears for a little while, but she comes back most of the time, unless it’s later in the day.

Kev and Martin are dating. I know it says in the book that Kev has a wife but no he doesn’t ❤️. Kev and Martin are dating and in love and very little will convince me otherwise. Everyone on Cairnholm is completely chill with it. They have dinner with Martins uncle on Wednesdays. Kev tried to take Martin fishing once and it went terrible but it was fun.

Jacob meets Martin on the first day, at the Priest Hole. He’s done at the museum for the day and is getting a drink with his sister and working on his poetry. He and his sister are harassing Kev while he’s on the job. They meet because Martins sister, Amelia, sees Frank and Jacob lugging more than they can carry up the stairs and makes Martin come with her to help.

Amelia is one of the very, very few ocs you’ll see in here, I’m not here to add a bunch of people. She’s here because I don’t want Martin to be lonely, as a plot device to make things move forward, and because I think we should have more women. Yes MPHFPC already has a good amount of active women characters, yes I want more.

They start talking because both Martin and Amelia are huge nerds who would be excited about bird watching. When Martin mentions the museum, Jacob gets interested, as before he thinks it will help him unravel his grandfathers riddle. That’s it for now, but I will try to update again soon, though it probably won’t be as long. if any of you have any ideas or opinions to add, I’d love to hear them!

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rose2jam · 3 years ago

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What Happened to Rose0Jam? an FAQ

What happened to your blog, Rose0Jam?

A few days ago (sometime in the middle of July) I came home to find that my account had been terminated. I did not receive any sort of warning, and there was no reason given. I was just terminated. I was able to retreat to an old back up account, and used that to communicate with the community while I figured things out.

Did you break any rules to warrant a termination?

Not to my knowledge.

Do you think your blog got reported by an Anti?

I honestly don’t know. I’d been relatively inactive as of late, because of some mental health issues, and even when I WAS active, I wasn’t particularly confrontational with any anti’s, or that part of the fandom in particular. So I really can’t say why I was targeted, if I was indeed reported.

Did you try to get your account back?

I did, and Tumblr proceeded to jerk me around for several days. I sent 3 reports using the e-mail associated with my Rose0Jam account, and never received a confirmation e-mail or reply. When I sent a 4th report using a different e-mail, I finally DID get a reply, but it was just to tell me that I needed to file the report using the e-mail associated with my Rose0Jam account. When I responded telling them that that had not worked, they asked me for my e-mail and account name AGAIN and I just became so frustrated that I stopped trying. I’m already depressed and anxious all the time, I didn’t need that kind of bullshit.

So, you’re going to start over here?

Yes, I’m going to start over here on Rose2Jam. I don’t know when or if I’ll be able to recover the Rose0Jam URL.

Are you going to re-upload all of your stories?

I am. Once the “making sure I’m not a robot” phase of starting a new tumblr has passed, and my posts start appearing in the tags, I’ll begin re-uploading all of Dream Sequence, Snoodetober, and Snapril. I don’t want to do it all at once and totally swamp the tags, so I’ll post a new chapter every couple of days.

Where can you be found outside of tumblr, in case this happens again?

You are free to follow me on Instagram and Twitter, or my old Tumblr account @pomp-adourable. You can also add me on Discord at PompAdourable#4071 . Also, all of my stories are available on Ao3.

#Rose0Jam #Severus Snape #Pro Snape #Snapedom #Snape Community #Severus Snape x Reader #Severus Snape x OC #Snape x Reader #Snape x OC

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grittyreadsfic · 3 years ago

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hello my friends, one singular person asked for this weeks ago so i’m here with my most unhinged rec list yet: tk and nolan.

now, this one was hard to reign in, so i really didn’t. this pairing had maybe 230 fics in the tag when i first started reading hockey fic, and it’s now over 900, and i’ve read far too many of them, and that makes it so hard to parse it down. so i just...didn't!

so with that said, please enjoy so you want to get into tknp: a beginners guide to a classic case of idiots to lovers

i told myself that i couldn’t rec an author’s entire body of work but then i remembered this is my blog and i do what i want, so i did some consolidating. here’s a list of the quintessential authors for this pairing, you can start at any of their profiles and pick any of their fics at random, and it’ll be one of the best ones for the pairing, hands down.

therainbowsedge: i’d start with the summer camp fic, or the sex toys one, as both beautifully capture the true idiots to lovers nature of this pairing, but just top tier writing all around

manybumblebees: the wedding fic is so tender and port stanley is a classic, but literally pick any single fic and you’ll have a perfect tknp fic. i’m not kidding

jamesvanriemsdick: their tknp fics in their series are some of the hidden gems of this pairing (the tk heartbeat fic makes me LOSE it) but the delaware fic or the seattle fic…..there’s really something for every mood

catchascatchcan: start with era of gods because i could write literal essays on how it’s some of the best fantasy worldbuilding i’ve ever read, but then just read everything else on their account, including non tknp fics. you won’t regret it

hackysack: ao3 user hackysack has written one of two timeloop fics that i absolutely adore, and i thought about just calling that one out in particular, but all of their work deserves the attention

canary: nothing to prove was the first tknp fic i ever read and i was immediately hooked. all of their fics are a good starting place for the pairing, and just really give you a feeling for the pairing

and now, for the fic recs!

to be, despite it all by smudgedfreckles

summary: or, nolan patrick’s gender thesis, by travis konecny.

why i love it: there’s not a lot ofo nonbinary characters in media, even in fic, but this fic’s treatment of nolan and their path to figuring out their gender just feels so real and made me feel so seen. tk’s characterization is also just top notch, and it’s just a super sweet story about two people who love each other

last ones standing by makeit_takeit

summary: If you’re committed to finding your future spouse, reads the last line of the ad, and are ready to look at yourself and your love life in a whole new way, apply now.

At the bottom of the ad there’s a link, and Travis finds his finger hovering over the screen, lip still caught between his teeth.

“I mean,” he says very reasonably, speaking out loud to his empty apartment like some sort of possibly-crazy person, “just applying doesn’t mean anything. Maybe I just fill it out, and see what happens. It’s not like I’m really gonna get picked to be on TV, come on.”

He snorts out loud, just to show his apartment he hasn’t lost his grip on reality or anything; he fully understands how ludicrous that would be.

Then he clicks the link anyway, because yolo or whatever.

why i love it: what part of a married at first sight fic doesn’t make you want to immediately dive right in? the concept is fun, the execution is absolutely flawless, and it captures their dynamic so well while letting it develop naturally

motivation by connectknee

summary: Kevin knows when to back off, the article said. He knows just when to shut up and leave Patty alone, something Travis has never known how to do.

why i love it: the thing i love about this pairing is that tk is loud and in your face, and nolan’s more reserved, a little quieter, a little harder to read. this fic does a really great job of exploring how tk could feel like maybe he’s just a bit too much and is one of my favorites in terms of miscommunication

a tenderness grows by rusesdeguerre

summary: Nolan wouldn’t say that landing a job as the Philadelphia Flyers’ psychotic and probably clinically insane mascot was a childhood dream of his. Maybe tangentially: playing pond hockey in –30°C weather and pretending to be Sidney Crosby is practically a rite of passage when you grow up in Manitoba. That, and experiencing the distinct displeasure that is thousands of mosquitoes sucking your blood out when your father drags you on a father-son camping trip into the backwoods of the northern Canadian Prairies.

why i love it: this was the first fic i recced on this blog, and i stand by that decision. a fic where nolan is not only not a hockey player, but is in fact the person in the gritty suit? absolutely perfect, and so charming from start to finish

meet me at my window by springsteen

summary: Travis has lived in Philadelphia for a few years now, long enough to know there isn’t a major city in America where superheroes don’t destroy an entire city block trying to save humanity or whatever. He can deal with all the super-shit, but Travis did not sign up for getting woken up from a deep sleep because some fucker’s trying to break in through his window.

(5 times the super-villain known as "The Cat" breaks into Travis's apartment, plus 1 time Travis invites him in.)

why i love it: there’s a lot of things to love here, but the concept is just absolutely one of my all time favorite aus ever. it’s fun and charming and the perfect glimpse into a world where heroes and villains exist, and what it’s like just to be a run of the mill kind of guy existing in it. tk and nolan’s back and forth in this make it so engaging, and it’s such a top tier fic

body’s in trouble by cloudsandpassingevents

summary: “Oh, sorry,” someone says. “Didn’t know anyone else was here.”

Nolan freezes, then turns around very slowly. When he looks up, Nicklas fucking Backstrom is standing behind him in a hoodie and baggy sweats, holding the biggest bag of Swedish Fish Nolan’s ever seen in his life in one hand.

“Uh,” Nolan says around the pop tart between his teeth. “Yeah.”

What the fuck, his brain helpfully supplies.

why i love it: from nolan’s inner voice, to the way the author explores all the dynamics within the team, to the way they write the unexpected but actually, it kind of makes sense friendship between nolan and backstrom, is just absolutely fantastic. there’s a lot of moments that circle back and build on each other in a way that really just makes it super compelling

rhizomatic foundations by lighthousetowers

summary: Twenty days after he moves in with Kevin Hayes, twenty days – three months, five months, depending on how you look at it – after not talking to TK, TK shows up at the front door with a plant the size of a basketball in his hands.

TK grins. "Patty, meet Reginald." He lifts up the plant. "Reggie, meet Patty. He's going to be your new - caretaker."

"What the fuck," says Nolan, not moving a single muscle.

Or: That Nolan can hear the plant talk might as well just happen.

why i love it: this is probably my favorite magical realism fic just about ever. it’s fun and charming and a little weird, but in the best possible way. there’s such a wonderful narrative in it, and lighthousetowers always has such beautiful writing, and it really shines in this one. the dialogue and nolan’s characterization are also part of what set it apart for me as one of the best tknp fics

in the dark of any town by mengetpegged

summary: If the voice has an accent at all, it’s a flat prairie Canadian, with none of G’s French-Canadian softness at the edges. But mostly, the accent is just ‘pissed off,’ which TK believes is a default setting for ghosts.

“Who are you?” TK asks, and he doesn’t like how strained his voice sounds, doesn’t like the tinge of anxiety tinting the rise of his question. He tries to regulate his breaths—in through his nose, hold, out through his mouth—but it feels like he’s not getting enough oxygen, which makes him panic even more.

“Someone with a fucking migraine, dickhead,” the voice says. “So keep the lights off and shut the hell up.”

(or: Nolan Patrick, Hotel X Ghost)

why i love it: i’m usually not super into ghost fics, both the spooky kind and the nonspooky kind, but this one is a rare exception. it’s charming and fun and tender and it’s got some of, in my opinion, the best characterization of tk and nolan in any fic. the way the author writes their dynamic and their dialogue is just unmatched

lets_make_this_moment_a_crime.mp3 by honeydripping

summary: Travis meets Nolan at a Midtown show in 2002 when he punches Nolan in the face. He can’t help it, “Like A Movie” just goes off.

But he does feel guilty about it.

TK and Patty work at a bakery together. They go to punk shows to pass the time.

why i love it: idk if anyone asked for an early 2000s emo/punk/alt au but wow! i sure am glad it exists! really the vibes of this fic, as silly as that sounds, are absolutely unmatched. i love the structure with the music, the development of their relationship, and just everything about how the author wrote the setting (there’s this whole thing with tattoos in it that makes me feel absolutely insane)

you’re ripped at every edge by you’re a masterpiece by conformityissuicide

summary: “Ugh, look, this yoga teacher has it out for me, man. And I can’t go back there without at least having some of the basics down. I’ve got to win this battle.”

“Yoga isn’t really something you win at,” Hartsy starts.

Travis cuts him off, “You can win at anything if you try hard enough.”

+++

OR that time Nolan's a grumpy yoga teacher and Travis realizes he wants to bone him and prove him wrong about Travis' non-existent yoga abilities.

why i love it: listen, if you want tknp, at least one of them has to be an idiot, and this tk absolutely captures the obliviousness i love to see in him in fic. it’s such a great characterization of them both and such a great concept (and even better execution)

you form a terror pack (and i’m aware of that) by dalmatienne

summary: “Can I help you?” TK snarks, both eyebrows hiked up in a way that has earned her many elbow checks to the ribs.

The chick looks down her nose, long thick eyelashes fluttering. Red-bitten lips part to blow a florid pink bubble and TK can smell the chemical sweetness when it pops.

“Yeah,” she says in this monotonous voice that seems almost at odds with her bubble gum and neon skates. She jams her stopper into TK’s thigh again, literally inches away from where it’d really hurt. “Tie ‘em.”

why i love it: to be honest, i generally don’t read rule 63 within hrpf, but this one is just absolutely knocks it out of the park. the concept (i fuckin’ love roller derby), the characterization of nolan, the pacing, the rituals, the tone of the entire fic, it’s just all around a perfect read from start to finish

thrills and grills by bitter_leaf

summary: Travis can’t even begin to wonder what he did in a previous life to incur the wrath of this fucking cook. Travis thinks he’s a nice person, doesn’t conduct himself in any way that could be considered particularly dickish, and unless this guy has some sort of issue with hockey bros or people from the boonies, he’s not sure how he started shit without even knowing.

Patty has a vendetta. Travis just wants to eat his eggs in peace.

why i love it: honestly this is the enemies to lovers fic i’ve been waiting for. i remember seeing the reddit post when it first went viral and thinking it would make such a great fic premise, so stumbling across this one was just so wonderful. super engaging and fun and so hilarious to read!

nothing but room for you by fightingfuries

summary: When his agent tells him he’s going to be traded to the Devils, Nolan isn't sure how he feels about it. Might be easier if he was going somewhere farther away, like California or fucking Florida. Somewhere sun-soaked and foreign. Someplace so different from Philadelphia that he can forget he ever played for the Flyers, forget everything that happened there.

Or Nolan fucks up, gets traded, gets his shit together and falls in love. Not necessarily in that order.

why i love it: i cannot stress to you how much i love trade fics, and this one is one of my absolute favorites. the trade to the devils-so close to philly, still, but there’s more to distance than physical miles-was such an excellent choice and the split timeline adds so much to the narrative, and the emotions are real and messy and complicated in the best way

a couple of runaways (i’m glad you stayed) by overturnedgoal

summary: The person in the video he’s watching is super annoying. Some obnoxious holier than thou granola type who keeps talking about their environmental impact as if they aren’t driving a gas guzzler around, but the basic idea of living in a van, driving around wherever, camping all the time, just going hiking and swimming and seeing the whole country? It sounds pretty dope, honestly.

why i love it: i like to watch tours and conversions of vans/buses into tiny homes as a self soothing method, and this fic has the same impact that watching those do. it’s such a fun concept, and it’s so fuckin’ soft, and the dialouge between tk and nolan is just *chef’s kiss*

all candor and style in the crook of your smile by p3trichor

summary: It’s a photo of Nolan on his knees with someones’ fingers in his mouth, lips slick with spit. Travis flicks by it almost too fast and he’s only got seconds to decide if he wants to screenshot it, if he wants to just give up the ghost right then and there. Except Travis’s phone freezes momentarily and then the group refreshes, sidcros87, Bert59 and 14 others took a screenshot!

It’s gone before Travis even has time to process it and he already wasted his replay of the day on a stupid video of a stupid fish that Hayes caught.

Can you send me that screenshot Travis texts Bertuzzi before he can overthink it, his dick already stirring in his sweats. Tuzzi sends back the cry-laughing emoji and then the screenshot before Travis can be too annoyed at him.

Or, Nolan is being weird about Travis's break-up and TK is maybe not straight.

why i love it: i genuinely don’t think i have words for the amount i love this fic. it took me forever to actually read, but it’s absolutely one of my favorite fics, and it’s an absolutely riot to read. carter’s meddling and the presence of tyler bertuzzi both make it extra fun, in my humble opinion

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mostly-mundane-atla · 3 years ago

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So I was thinking of Zuko as a clearly scarred leader+Toph as a Beifong/teacher of Avatar+Teo, which all led me to thinking of war recovery including changes so there are accommodations for people who use wheelchairs, etc. Then, I was thinking of a Braille system of some kind being created+implemented, which led me to thinking about how the different nations would do it. I was thinking FN would put up like metal 3Dish plaques + EN would just bend out part of walls into forms.

And then I was thinking about the NWT+SWT. Based on research I see that different Inuit groups tend to use different stone for sculpting, and I know some do totem poles, and I know walrus ivory is used. So I guess I was thinking the SWT+NWT would probably do things differently. (I was thinking they would not do ice because ... having to touch ice? Would not be a cool accommodation.)

So, I was wondering what your thoughts are on this. Also, Do the SWT+NWT actually draw any inspiration from specific Inuit cultures/people’s? Or are the WN aesthetics just a mashup of different Inuit cultures/or a nebulous reference?

My apologies if you ever discussed any of these things before+thank you for taking the time to read this. I would love to hear your thoughts/opinions.

To answer your other asks, a good umbrella term is Circumpolar peoples. This covers all your bases and you can specify region, such as "from Greenland to Sibera" which I hear a lot in regards to the Inuit, Inupiat, and Yup'ik peoples.

That said, Circumpolar peoples don't do totem poles. Nations from the Pacific Northwest and southeast Alaska do, but we don't. You may be thinking of dance masks which can get incredibly intricate, especially the Yup'ik ones, but serve an entirely different purpose.

And now to go onto the actually questions. How would a fantasy version of Inupiaq culture do braille? Well, I'm not sure it would be entirely necessary. Unlike most of the cultures that the series takes inspiration from, we didn't really have paper or a written language pre-contact. We did use lampblack (burned animal fat in our case) for ink, but that was used for art and tattooing, not for writing words. Due to this lack of paper, our art was more three dimensional. It was beautiful fur clothes and dance masks, and figures carved of driftwood, ivory, stone, and scrimshaw. Etchings in baleen or ivory. You start at one end of the piece and "read" the story through interpreting the carved illustrations to the other end. We didn't really use signs for trails because there wasn't really a point. You would go that way your whole life and rarely ever completely alone.

But I suppose if I were to apply braille-esque signs to the Water Tribe anyway, I think they'd be treated as art pieces. The words, carved in driftwood or bone, or even baleen if you're feeling fancy, would be the most important part, but I don't think they could resist adding other designs that could be felt. I'm sure other accomodations were already worked into the culture. I'd find it hard to believe if snowblindness and having to travel in weather conditions so bad you can't see past your own nose weren't common among Water Tribesmen.

As for if they take inspiration from irl peoples, they definitely do, but I'd say it's more an amalgamation of various circumpolar peoples than any one particular group. Though many are quick to point out the Inuit influence on the aesthetic, I think it's fair to say just as much was taken from the Yup'ik peoples, shown in the photo below

This Kuskokwim Yup'ik couple was photographed in 1879. Note that these hoodless parkas are longer and have slimmer silhouettes than those you typically find in traditional Inuit dress, like the ones we see in the show.

There are also discriptions of traditional caps made of the skin of a wolf's head worn by Saint Lawrence Islanders, which may have inspired the wolf helms.

In Legend of Korra and the comics it seems they were trying to put a little more effort into referencing the Inuit and Inupiat through naming. Unalaq (from "Ungalaaqłiit") and Noatak (from "Nuataaq") are both named after Inupiaq villages. Tonraq likely comes from the Inuit word "tornaq" (our word for the concept is "tunģaaq") which is a land mammal spirit summoned by a shaman. Senna likely comes from Sedna, the most popular name for an armless woman in the ocean from Inuit myth, whose bones from her missing hands and forarms became all the creatures in the sea. If you perked up at this and said "there's an armless woman in Legend of Korra too! She's also Water Tribe!" I'll let you come to your own conclusions on that.

Malina, from North and South, also gets her name from a woman of Inuit myth, who became the sun after running away from her brother (for gross and fucked up reasons) who, in turn, became the moon. Her brother Malik has a name that could mean a number of things depending on what Inupiaq word you think he's supposed to be named after, from tidal wave to lure to one birth shortly after another (the traditional lifestyle typically involved gaps of about five years between children so only one year between births was notable) to constantly following (which, knowing the Inuit myth about Malina and her brother, is a little unfortunate).

Even in the original series, you find some glimpses of the language in names. Arnook is likely from "nanuq" or polar bear, which was spelled nanook before the spirit movement in the 80s estabished a standardized written aspect of the language. Kuruk's name likely comes from "kurruk" which means to hang one's head in sorrow, shame, or disappointment, but you could interpret it as coming from longer words meaning things like to lower one's head as if to look for something or to fall head over heels.

You can check my "eskimo on main" tag for more, or send me another ask. My messages are open too, if you would prefer that

#response #eskimo on main #water tribe

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an-annyeoing-writer · 4 years ago

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vulnerability. – prologue

Story info:

Pair: Byun Baekhyun x Reader

Rating: +18 for mentions of s*x and violence (future chapters)

Genre: angst, smut

Chapter info:

Release date: 6th May 2021

Word count: 2 653

Warnings: dark thoughts, general angst (in this chapter, it gets lighter later)

Vulnerability Masterlist || Fanfiction Masterlist || Ko-Fi

Taglist:

@shesdreaminginoverdose @mybiasdashboard @marimsun @byuns-asscheeks @multi--kpop--fanfics @vunv @making-me-blush @skittlez-area512

Please, always comment on the newest chapter if you wish to be added to/removed from the taglist. I will be also checking the tags, so if you're shy – feel free to leave a note this way.

Prologue

“What do you need?”

Another question to which, despite your sincere effort, you are unable to find an answer; spoken in a cool, collected tone that makes it no easier to adjust to. You stare blankly at your hands, folded in your lap in a position that was supposed to be modest, but right now – betrays insecurity and uncertainty.

“Do I have to answer?” you ask quietly, struggling to find the right thing to say; your mind gets as blank as your stare, the stress deeming you unable to create a reply.

“Do you want to waste my time? If I ask a question, I expect an answer.” The man taps the surface of the close-by table, a clear message goes through – don’t test my patience. The notebook that he holds on his lap, with his other hand over it, hasn’t been written in for the past few minutes. The two of you are sitting on tall bar chairs, facing each other. You wish the tall table on the side, imitating the bar counter, was actually in between the two of you – maybe you’d feel a bit more secure with this form of a barrier.

You don’t want to waste his time, but you feel like you’re wasting yours right now. It’s as if you were at a job interview that completely didn’t align with what you had expected it to be like. It’s the moment you feel like the interviewer is only asking the questions out of politeness but does not pay much attention to your answers, and you know your case is a lost one. That’s exactly the way you feel right now – as if he’s at this point only tormenting you for the mere fun of it, although it doesn’t look like he has any fun in this at all; his face is stern and ridden of emotions. Terrifying.

“I think I need stability, and safety…” you try to utter something sensible. “But not boredom…”

You feel silly as soon as these words leave you, and, as you expect, they earn no reaction from the man. You soon realize he must have heard such things dozens of times before you – it’s a textbook answer.

“Some of your replies contradict each other” the man suddenly states.

“I didn’t lie” you argue back.

“Maybe not, but I’d recommend therapy.”

You only continue to stare blankly. Such words don’t faze you anymore – partly because you started to grow indifferent to whatever is spoken in this conversation, and partly because you’ve heard these words enough of times, spoken by your family, friends, even classmates or strangers. It’s embarrassing, but you’ve learned to push such thoughts away every time they surfaced; and this time, as well, you knew you wouldn’t think about them anymore as soon as the topic changed.

“Yeah, I know” you mutter, only for the sake of having an answer. You feel bitter; the case is lost for sure, you can tell – what he keeps you here for anymore, you don’t know.

“Is there anything else you want to tell me?”

“Uh… No, not really.”

“Is there anything you want to ask me?”

Of course. So many things, so many thoughts that appeared in the anticipation for this meeting. Excitement that slowly died down; you remember the questions you wanted to ask, as well as the ones that emerged during the conversation itself. Yet, you don’t think that any of them are worth being spoken aloud anymore.

“I don’t think so.”

“I see.”

The man reaches for his notebook and writes a word or two inside, then tears the page out; you flinch at that. You can’t tell what’s written on it as he places the piece of paper on the table between the two of you, the clear side upwards, while the text is underneath. You stare at it with new-found curiosity.

“I need to leave for a few minutes. Write your number there, or e-mail address, whichever you prefer. I’ll be back.”

He stands up without asking for your reply and heads towards the bathroom; you only follow him with your stare as he disappears in the crowd – it’s Friday evening, and the bar, The Queen of Spades, is as full as on any typical Friday evening, except there’s an aura of loneliness surrounding you. You’re a bit uncomfortable in the bar chair – you’d rather sit in the leather sofa that’s behind you.

The leather sofa on which you saw Byun Baekhyun for the first time.

* * *

The Queen of Spades was a quite spacious, but not too well known bar that your friend had been promising to take you to thousands of times before a good occasion actually came up – the end of your winter exam session, all exams passed by a miracle. The bar was just fifteen minutes from your house, and you were astonished the moment you entered through the glass doors, feeling as though you went back in time by a few decades. Wooden furniture, warm lights, soft tunes of jazz and RnB – not your vibe, but one that made you fall in love with this place at the first sight.

However, as much as the interiors were dazzling, there was one more thing that caught your attention the most – the man sitting in the corner of the bar, on a leather couch with only the tall counter-like table on the side, probably too tall to reach to, but he wasn’t drinking anyway. He sat with a middle-aged woman, leaning gently into his side, casually and trustfully. The leather collar on her neck did not match her age-accurate attire, and that was exactly what caught your attention in her whole visage.

Whether the pair knew that they’re observed or not, you couldn’t tell – and, in fact, it seemed as though they don’t necessarily care. When the man’s hand found itself on the woman’s leather collar and pulled it backwards tightly, a small scowl on his face, you freaked out; at least until you saw her smile softly, no attempt to struggle, no worry, as her face reddened with the restraint of blood flow that the motion must have caused. Their eyes met. The man’s gaze softened. He released the collar and held her chin in his hands, and soon, they were resting again.

You stared at the scene, mesmerized. But it would be inappropriate to pay it any more attention; yet, you felt intrigued. You wondered what else would you see if you came back to the bar another time.

And, in fact, he was there the second time as well, just as you were with your classmate, trying to listen to her personal stories, but with your glance drifting off to the man’s direction.

He was with a woman, again, but one that could have been around your own age. It confused you, but, without any other cues, you did not want to judge. This one, also, had a collar on her neck – or more like a necklace, made of chain with pearls tied into it, a dainty and girly piece. The man patted her head gently as she rested with her eyes closed, maybe even sleeping. Nothing else happened.

And the third time you went there, alone this time, after a particularly long day at work, hoping to get some of the stress off your shoulders, you sat by the bar alone, and therefore, did not need to worry about annoying the person you were with – you could stare to your heart’s content; at least until someone would notice and find you weird or creepy.

It was a Friday evening again, so you concluded he comes here regularly. Although the bar was quite crowded, no one sat by the table next to the leather couch, probably not wanting to disrupt the pair – two men sitting together now. It did catch you by surprise. This one’s collar was made of silver squares linked together. It looked simple, but elegant. With a little bit of tequila, for once you felt bold enough to shoot the bartender your question.

“Yeah, oh, him? Baekhyun, he’s local. Why? You’re interested? Well, if you really are, he’s not into one night stands.”

Neither were you; you didn’t want to jump into such things abruptly, not at all. You wanted to know more first.

“He’s not into relationships, from what I know. Or more like, his relationships aren’t what they may be to you. If you don’t know what I’m talking about, then just leave it, there’s other fish in this sea, just look around you.”

But you weren’t interested in other fish; this one spiked your interest and you just needed to know more. Your motive was obvious, and so, the bartender kept talking, taking pleasure in enlightening the silly kid that you were in his eyes.

“Ever heard of BDSM? If yes, then you’ll understand. If no, then leave it be.”

Your first impression, the thought you had in the first moment, was finally confirmed – it was like opening a cake you’ve only seen in the packaging and finding out it looks exactly as the packaging’s shape hinted. You chose this cake because of the shape, and now you feel even more excited about seeing how it tastes. And you did, in fact, truly want to devour it.

“So, you want to get on with him?”

You knew you did. There was no doubt in that. The bartender, who initially seemed persistent in discouraging you, suddenly seemed to enjoy the role of a sort of broker.

“I can set you two up.”

* * *

That’s how your story led you to this particular point; to the dark, old-styled walls of The Queen of Spadesthat you’ve started to memorize well by now, to the table you’ve only observed from afar, to the man whom you also could only look at, until today.

And you feel like the figurative cake is now made of nasty, bitter chocolate, and empty inside.

You glance once again in the direction in which the man disappeared – the bathroom. You probably have a few more minutes to relax. Your gaze lands on the torn piece of paper.

It shouldn’t be an issue if you decided to have a look – right? He left it in front of you, maybe even for this particular reason, for you to check if he hasn’t written anything wrong about you. Whatever is written in there… You can’t think anymore as you whip the paper to the other side.

[F/n], 24, fem. & stud. available weekends mentally unstable, possible childhood trauma sensitive

No lies are detected.

Moreover, you feel as though each statement is awfully accurate; you are sensitive, and the words hurt. You feel reduced to these few random phrases, as if your whole personality consists just of these traits.

Mentally unstable.

Childhood trauma.

Sensitive.

You angrily turn the sheet back over and make sure the number you just wrote is correct, although you’re not so sure if you wantit to be correct. You consider changing it to a wrong one. Or standing up and leaving. You’re angry and frustrated, and lost. Your desperate need for this deal to work out collides with your desperate need to go back to your safe zone; the one in which you can rely on fiction and your own imagination, and where no other person can hurt you. You could just stand up and leave, for sure; who would try to stop you? Do you even have the guts to stay? You feel disrespected; you wish to disappear.

Yet, you don’t find yourself doing any of these things. You sit in your place, staring at the sheet blankly, until familiar steps echo nearby and the man takes his place again. The time for making decision has run out. Byun Baekhyun sits in front of you again, staring at you intensely.

“Did you look?” His tone is accusatory, and a bit angry. Were you not supposed to look, after all…?

“N-no” you instantly reply. Your voice falters, you know you’re not a good liar. But he can’t blame you for something you won’t admit; you’ll leave, and you’ll be safe, he won’t be able to say anything more hurtful anymore.

“I see.”

The lie eats at you; you fiddle nervously as he takes the paper and slowly puts it back in his notebook. He doesn’t look at you while doing so, but you watch him full of nerves. You can’t lie, you never could.

“I-I did” you utter after a moment of silence.

He freezes in spot and you start fearing again; his eyes raise to meet yours, and you don’t dare to reciprocate the gaze. However, you can tell he’s not angry – whether it’s pure disdain or disappointment, you don’t know. But, at the very least, you can tell you won’t be yelled at, and it’s enough to be a relief.

“I’m sorry” you add in a mumble filled with shame. Your gaze lowers even further.

Byun Baekhyun doesn’t say anything about it. He observes you in silence for a while, as if deep in thought, and you don’t know if you’re being judged or analyzed, you do your best not to let your mind drift towards the areas of insecurity and fear.

He puts his things back in the leather bag he carries – the notebook, phone, leather gloves. Seems that the meeting is coming to an end. It’s not even 8 PM.

“Will you find your way home? You need a drive?”

“I live nearby, I’ll be okay.”

“Can I walk you, then?”

“Sure…”

It’s slowly getting dark and you don’t find it in yourself to oppose the offer. More than to run away, you feel an urge to just give in, and you’d rather he yells at you for lying than asks you anymore questions; you’re worn out, both mentally and physically – with your muscles cramping for keeping them tense for so long.

No more words are said, though, there’s no yelling and no accusations. He acts professionally the moment you leave the bar, letting you lead the way and only staying by your side, not too close even, no touch and no words – as if he’s following you rather than accompanying.

Throughout your whole conversation, you didn’t see him smile even once. It pains you. But you slowly come to the conclusion that you haven’t necessarily done anything wrong, and it’s just the way it is.

“Thank you for today” you utter politely. You want to run back into your apartment and be safe again. “And thank you for walking me.” Sorry for wasting your time, too, you also wish to add, but you don’t want to victimize yourself; you don’t want to believe that you’re at fault for it, either – apologizing would be like taking the whole blame upon yourself, and you don’t want to accept that.

“No problem. Thank you for your time. Sleep well.”

He opens the door for you but doesn’t look at you or say anything more. You utter one more small “thank you” and “goodnight” before entering your small apartment again.

The day finally comes to an end and you want nothing more than to rest it off in the bunk bed of your bedroom – the sweet and safe comfort zone that never betrays you, never plays with your feelings, and always welcomes you with its warmth.

* * *

Please, reblog if you enjoyed, it'll help me a bunch!

Author's note: I know it feels a bit sad thus far, but bear with me, it will get better soon!

Next (Chapter 1.)

#exowritersnet #kdiarynet #bbh-net #exosnet #exo baekhyun #exo bbh #bbh x reader #exo #byun baekhyun #bbh #exo fanfiction #baekhyun fanfiction #baekhyun x reader #vg: vulnerability #vg: exo #vg: baekhyun #vg: series

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hawkland · 3 years ago

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(Mostly) Destiel Fic Recs #5

This is a LONG recs post because it’s been a while since I did an update and I fell hard into reading one author’s work (DeanRH). In fact I could easily do a rec post just of their fics alone, but for this round I’m just going to pick out a handful of my absolute favorites so far, the ones I’d recommend to start out with, along with more other authors’ works I’ve especially enjoyed lately.

Absolution at the Five-and-Dime by DeanRH (125k) - this is perhaps THEE DeanRH fic to start with if you want a good, long read with a little bit of everything (Roadtrips! Intriguing casefic! Americana! Tasty Dean/Cas pining! Wing!kink and unique angel lore! Kinky soul fisting and tentacles!) It’s kind of two of parallel stories in one: the first, a flashback to Dean and Sam's first year hunting on their own (as well as trying to avoid hunting, and John in general); the second on how Dean and Cas finally get together during an unusual case and when Dean is able to really let go of his past trauma and accept himself/accept love from Cas.

What I love about DeanRH’s work is that they write from the unique point of view of a drifter, so they understand living on the road, traveling place to place, and the highs and lows of that life like no others I’ve encountered in SPN before. (The author’s notes are often as much fun to read as the stories themselves). They also write a kickass angel!Cas and never lose sight of his non-human traits and background. Their writing style is unique - almost poetic in nature, and I know some readers have found it difficult to get into. But it works really well for me in their SPN fic...gives it the flavor of oral story telling as might actually happen at a drifter’s camp (with one story written exactly as such). Be warned this particular fic does play up the idea of John Winchester being mentally abusive and Dean having to turn tricks when he was younger in order to support him and Sam, so there is some dark stuff. But as someone who grew up with mentally abusive parent, reading this was extremely cathartic to me and believably written (unlike some stories that go too over the top with abusive John, or just don't understand how that kind of abuse leaves lifetime psychological scars.)

The rest of this round’s recs below the cut.

Carnevale by DeanRH (18k) - Actually the first fic by this author I read, because I just couldn’t resist a story set in my favorite place in the world, Venice, Italy. Castiel is the Angel of Venice, banished there for so long he does not even know or remember the reasons why. But Carnevale season is the one time a year he can let his wings out - figuratively and literally. And during this particular Carnevale season, he meets an intriguing masked young American tourist there with his brother and their one night stand turns into something far more powerful than either expected. This one’s hot, romantic, and achingly sad at the end as it all ties together unexpectedly with canon-verse...though with a hint for the future so it’s definitely not totally sad. I loved how DeanRH clearly understands Venice as a fellow lover of the city, the side of it most tourists never see unless they spend a long time there. This story made me cry just from wanting to be back in Venice again.

Ice cream was sweeter, food more satisfying, everything was an epicurean delight. There was just something magical about Venice, and he had lived here in the city for hundreds of years, so the shine should have worn off by now.

But it didn't, and there was always something more, something wonderful to discover around the next corner. The painted eaves of a church. The beauty of two women dancing with flowers in their teeth across the Piazza San Marco one day, overcome by the sheer joy of just being there. The way the university students still created Venetian masks, like Castiel's extravagant volto mask and Dean's humble servetta muta, with crafts that had been handed down across the generations. The morning silence that lay against the stones.

Hard Landing by DeanRH (26.9k) - A bit similar in theme to Carnevale. A pre-series Dean and Sam are sight-seeing in Spain when an angel, struck by a babel-spell, crash lands right in front of Dean. A strange yet seriously hot encounter with the angel turns into something much more complicated when the brothers return home and realize something more serious is afoot and they are both trapped in the middle of it. This is another story where things are very much not as they seem at first (as fun as that is!) It features master strategist Cas at his best, with a side helping of delightful trickery care of Gabriel and Balthazar as they deal with Lucifer, Michael...and a few others along the way.

The Sacred Band of Thebes by DeanRH (14.5k) - The last DeanRH fic I’m gonna allow myself to include in this round up, because it’s just very soft and sweet and beautiful - for a story about Dean & Cas being magically transported back in time to ancient Sparta! This is another story infused with a great knowledge of place and history, with some wonderfully delightful original characters added in that make it all the more enjoyable to read.

And now on to some other authors, I promise!

IPAMIS OL OLPRIT by emmbrancsxx0 (56k). A really wonderful fic that take a different look at what might have happened with a temporarily resurrected John Winchester during Season 14. Dean & Cas are in an established relationship here, and John here isn’t too happy about it — though mostly because he sees Cas (and Jack) as monsters, the kind of monsters he spent his lifetime hunting. This is a great fic for the emotional complexity of how John, Dean and Cas are all handled. John isn’t a cardboard evil dad, Dean is struggling between his loyalty to his father and to Cas, and Cas is increasingly bitchy/frustrated at Dean still being so desperate for his father’s approval (and all the more complex for not just being a quietly suffering perfect supporting boyfriend.) There’s some great action sequences in this too along with the emotional angst and a delicious dose of hurt!Cas if that’s your thing (as it is for me :D)

Abrenuntio by Neonbat (51k). A very dark but compelling AU take on the/a apocalypse universe. Dean, Sam and John are all alive in this post-angel war-apocalyptic world. They are part of a group of human survivors fighting against the angel army when they manage to capture “Blue” — a particularly feared angel of death. Dean is tasked with bringing Blue in for interrogation and he becomes a prisoner in their camp after John is killed. As mentioned, this is a pretty dark/sad fic (with some rather gruesome torture scenes) but I still found it quite compelling as a look at how things could have gone in some other parallel universe. And somehow the author manages to make the Dean/Cas relationship come together despite them starting out as complete enemies. This is one of those AUs that works for me because the core of the characters really shine through despite the differences in the setting.

if it all fell to pieces tomorrow by spocklee (37k) - a gorgeous post-Empty rescue fic that takes an approach I haven’t really seen explored in detail before (despite being something I’ve actually thought about as something that could’ve happened.) What if Cas has spent so long denying himself happiness, and then trapped in regrets and false-rescue scenarios created by the Empty, that he can’t trust that his rescue is real? And so he runs off to be on his own - literally stealing the Impala because he can’t handle being in Dean’s presence one moment longer - and only slowly comes to terms with the idea that it’s over now and he can be happy with/around his friends and family. This one’s both deliciously angsty and at times funny/sweet, looking at Cas’s relationships not just with Dean but with Sam, Jack, Claire, even Eileen. It does some fun stuff with other returned angels and demons who now find themselves back on Earth (and human), and...I just really enjoyed this one a lot.

Both Saved and Lost by angelfishofthelord (13.7k) Gen Cas character study, absolutely gorgeous and sad and one of those fic I couldn’t stop thinking about the day after reading it. AU where Apocaverse!Cas isn’t immediately killed by our Cas during 13x22 but instead hitches a ride back to the main ‘verse. Dean and Sam want to keep him alive for information on Michael; Cas is torn and trying to figure out just how similar—or different—they really are. Some great angel stuff here (I also highly recommend this author’s Jack & Cas “dadstiel” fics, they’re equally lovely and heartbreaking at the same time.)

flesh of the mighty by Mudprophet (2.7k) - THEE “What exactly did Dean eat in Purgatory, anyway?” fic you’ve probably already heard about. *cough* I’ve been trying to work up the courage to read this one for a while and finally gave in and OH MY CHUCK I’m so glad I did. It’s perversely disturbing and beautiful at the same time, Cas is wonderfully DERANGED and ALIEN in that way that I love it when fics managed to convey just how much angels are NOT human. Do heed the tags.

Full of Grace by ilovehowyouletmefall (11k) - Another one for the weird-as-fuck-angel!Cas lovers’ list. Heaven/canon-compliant fic where Dean knows he should feel happy and at peace but he just...isn’t, even with Cas and all of his friends and family there. He finally goes looking for Cas when he’s been absent for a time and, for the first time, gets to not just see but experience his true form. Another one that hits some kinks I knew I had and others I didn’t...until now. ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

don't ask me where i've been by saltwound / @1x06 (8k) - I can never resist a good 09x06 fiction gap fic! What makes this one really stand out is how well it captures Cas’s internal voice - his struggles adapting to human senses, limitations and emotions versus what/how he experienced things as an angel. The longing and feelings between Dean & Cas here are so achingly beautiful and I just wanted to cry when Cas says he misses hearing Dean’s prayers, so Dean, he...oh, I’m not going to spoil it. *happy sigh* Just read it.

this room is wrong by DarkHeartInTheSky (12k) - Sometimes I like torturing myself with some good 15x03 divorce arc angst and this fic hit that button just so. It’s an alternative take on where Cas might have ended up after leaving the bunker and features some great Cas & Sam friendship feels, when Sam sets out to try to bring Cas home. It’s all the stuff you’d wish the writers would’ve let them talk out in canon.

Well that’s more than enough for this round! Go forth, read and give some great writers some kudos & comment love!

#fic recs #my fic recs #destiel recs #destiel #deancas recs #my destiel recs

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oingos-bitch · 4 years ago

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Agents of Dio x Reader -- Period Comfort Headcanons! (Part 1)

(the document was too long, and I forgot some Agents, so I divided the post as I went; more explained in the tags!)

Chaka

He’s never really been taught what happens during that certain time of the month, so naturally he’s panicking.

The most he’s learnt about periods are what he’s heard from rumours here and there, but not much else.

He deadass thought that it was just a myth for quite some time.

That is, until one fateful day. . .

He approaches you, his eyes wide with fear as he asks you why there’s blood, his hands shakily pointing to the bathroom.

“Oh, uh, that’s, uh. . . I’m on my period.”

You could almost see a light go off in his head, what with the way he tilts his head up. “Ohhh.”

He remembers the rumours and goes back to panicking.

Chaka begins to tear up, nearly slamming you to his chest in a tight hug as he whimpers something about taking you to a hospital and not wanting you to die yet.

“What??” You push away from him to wipe the tears from his face.

“I’m not gonna die, love.” “But how?? You’re bleeding out for so many days!”

You draw in a breath. ‘Oh, boy.’ You lead him over to the couch, holding his hand as you give him the lowdown.

He has so many questions but stops himself after a while, not wanting to annoy you.

This becomes apparent when he stares at you, bewildered, whenever you mention certain things to him.

“I thought you couldn’t do that on your period, though. . ?”

You’re happy to answer any questions he has along the way.

He does the best he can to make you feel better, whatever it may be.

Cramps bothering you? The farm can wait, he has to be by your side to take care of you, even though you insist it’s fine.

When all else fails. . .Hugs. Lots and lots of hugs. The warmth of his well-worked, sunbathed arms and the comforting, dusty scent of his clothes never cease to make you smile.

He knows it’s not much, but he brings you a flower each day that you’re on your period, no matter how you’re feeling.

Not even mood swings can push him away from you! He understands what you’re going through and he’ll stick by you, wrapping you in a bear hug or holding your hand.

He’ll give you small, shy kisses.💕

Chaka can and will find a way to get your mind off of it, goddamn it.

If you decide to join him while he’s working he’ll make up stories about the animals to lift your spirits.

“And that’s Gabby, the small and annoying!” (Credit goes to Shrek)

He takes you along with him whenever he has to go away from home, and he’ll take the time to show you places you might like, or anywhere you’d want to go.

The first time you ask him to get pads for you he’s a nervous wreck – he can’t quite figure out what the difference between all the types of pads is, and he’s too shy to ask for help.

Mistakenly brings you a piece of Styrofoam and you giggle to yourself as you take him back to the pad aisle and show him which ones to get.

At some point he forgets and he buys one pack of each brand just in case. Hey, at least you can save them for next time!

Daniel J. D’Arby

This man will make you feel loved and cherished but simultaneously tease the fuck out of you.

When you ask him to buy you pads he’ll go, but he’ll spend a long-ass time at the store and spam your phone the whole time.

He’ll send you pictures of unnecessary shit and messages like: “Wouldn’t this be a nice decoration?”; “I could use a new set of shoes.”; “I’m gonna treat myself to some fancy chocolates, would you like any?”; “What kind of pads again?”; “Is this a pad?”

On the way home he’ll stop by places just to send you pictures of random buildings with more misleading messages.

(pic of a tuxedo store) “I think I’d look good with a new suit, wouldn’t you?”

Just as you’re starting to actually believe him he walks in through the door, various bags and boxes in hand, “Dear, can you please help me with these?”

“I swear to god, Daniel, you better not have. . .”

Surprise! Every single thing he bought is something he knows you’d like, and he apologizes for taking so long, but he remembered that you mentioned this one particular food and he had to go get it for you.

“Along with some other things.”

He laughs as you lightly smack him with the book he got you.

“You asshole! Don’t make me worry like that again!”

He apologizes once more before asking if you’d care to cuddle with him while you read your new book, or perhaps you’d want to watch that movie you were talking about?

You spend the rest of the afternoon with Daniel’s legs wrapped around you, your back resting against his chest.

If your cramps are bothering you he’ll give you lower-back massages.

However, sometimes he’s kinda bad at dealing with the mood swings.

He can deal with depressive mood swings no problem, but he’s at a loss during angry ones.

The best to do, he figures, is to try to distract you from your anger in the best way he knows how.

“Hey, wanna play some poker??”

#o shit i wrote something #so this is just the longer part of the whole thing #there's more to it that I'll post soon #i just didn't want the post to drag on so much #I spent an entire page on just Chaka #just Chaka and not Oingo for once #cAN YOU BELIEVE IT #they're driving me fucking nuts i swear #anyway #other parts of this are coming soon!#agents of dio x reader #agents of dio #jjba #jjba stardust crusaders #chaka jjba #daniel d'arby #period comfort headcanons

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ddaenghoney · 3 years ago

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Series: Flora

Finale

masterlist link in blog description

After spending more than a decade establishing a career as an acclaimed actress, you decide to go on a sudden hiatus while also discreetly moving to a new townhome, renting out the second room to your old friend from high school: Kim Taehyung

Pairing(s):

Kim Taehyung x Y/N

ft. Lim Jaebeom x Y/N

disclaimer: any character depicted do not represent the actual personality of the respective idol in real life.

Series warning(s)/genre(s): Social media/Fake Text AU, Roommates au, somewhat Slow Burn relationship (or is it more oblivious to lovers ?), Actress!Y/N, Flower shop owner and model!Taehyung, fluff, drama(bc it’s me), romance, angst (updated as needed)

If you enjoyed, PLEASE let me know!! Thank you so much for reading the entirety of this story! I really enjoyed making it! I’ll see you in the next story!

Tag(s): @atulipandarosee @jaienn @lemonteacyst @swanboysuga @kennedaddy00 @cribabieee @betysotelo18 @sherizaraiyah

Below the cut are some fun facts about the story!

Do people read these haha idk but anyways here we gooo

The name “Flora” is a noun that refers to all of the plant life of a particular place. I used the name because, like plants (in particular, flowers) face various adversity to bloom, so do the characters of this story! It also adds an element of care, because certainly flowers can bloom on their own, but they can also reach new, greater heights when given assistance along the way. And lastly, “flora” refers to many different plants rather than just one, and Y/N begins the story on her own, but learns to learn others in as she takes control of her life!

Originally, Taehyung wasn’t going to be a florist; he was going to be a member of BTS and would have met Y/N when he co-starred in a movie with her!

I don’t personally think Rose is much of an antagonist, so much as a misguided friend. She really did think what she was doing was for Y/N’s own good, but of course learned that to not be the case.

If you had to ask me, I think Y/N caught feelings before Taehyung did, but did a lot more to push them away and ignore them. I would say around the time she went out with Rose and Jueun was when she’d already started crushing on him.

Taehyung, Jeongguk, Jimin, and Y/N had all attended the same performing arts high school. Jimin and Yoongi met when they were in the same company, Namjoon knew Taehyung from when he was still trying to be an actor, Jeongguk met Seokjin in college, and Hoseok and Seokjin went to high school together. And that’s sort of how they all knew each other somehow LOL.

Y/N had a crush on Taehyung in high school! I hinted at that, but never got too deep into it haha, maybe I’ll write a blurb featuring the concept in the future.

Instead of Y/N’s CEO being such a negative character, I also contemplated having her parents be antagonistic. I mean, she did work in the acting industry since she was around 12 so it would make sense they had something to do with the plot, but I decided against it because it would’ve further complicated the plot to bring in a familial dynamic issue as well.

I thought about making Jueun much more manipulative, like succeeding in befriending Y/N, driving her to kick Taehyung out, making her and Taehyung date for a bit, but I just,,,,, it made it too much lol. Like, she had her ulterior motive against Y/N, but all of the extra stuff just made her too malicious for what I wanted the story to be, and I think how it is now is more realistic anyways.

Speaking of Jueun, her manager sucks doesn’t he lol. I made him like that because I didn’t even her situation to be free of the struggles that Y/N has to go through. In a lot of ways many of the celebrities (Y/N, Jueun, Rose, and Namjoon) all showed a lot of different ways that they’re inhibited from acting as they like, because to some extent they’re all just cogs in a machine. Sort of dreary isn’t it LOL

I imagine that Y/N returns to acting years later, maybe about four.

By that time, I figure she and Taehyung would be married haha

Taehyung didn’t do much on social media compared to past guys from my other stories; it’s because using it, especially after all hell broke loose, really made him nervous. This au’s Taehyung isn’t fond of fame to any degree.

Originally, I was going to use Jinyoung as the secondary male lead, but I switched it to Jaebeom because I wanted to drive one of my friends crazy lol

In her break from celebrity life, Y/N works at the flower shop with Taehyung, but also eventually gets into helping direct/produce productions for kids/teens at a local community theater; I intend to write a piece about that eventually!

I also have this xxx thing that I’d like to write at the flower shop but LOL ANYWAYS

Thank you so much for reading! I greatly appreciate feedback and comments if you enjoyed, because it really gives me a lot of inspiration and motivation to continue writing. Even small comments, anonymous comments, any comments at all mean SO much. Thank you again! See you soon!

#taehyung smau #taehyung series #taehyung fluff #bts smau #bts fluff #bts series #all #series flora

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rusty-k · 4 years ago

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A Theory About the Saint of Duty

[HTN/TLT SPOILERS]

Hey TLT people--

There was a reddit thread about the Saint of Duty the other day (link), and I commented some G1deon thoughts of mine that’ve been brewing in my head for a while. I figured I’d bring them to the tumblr tag to open up some discussion and see if anyone else buys this theory, or honestly just to spread some G1deon love. (I imprint on minor characters; it’s a curse.)

This is more or less copied from my reddit comment word-for-word, but here’s some general thought on Gideon the First’s personality, and why I have a theory that he might’ve lobotomized himself like Harrow:

G1deon character thoughts

G1deon as we know him in HtN is likely very different from the man he must've been 10,000 years ago. Hell, I wouldn't be surprised if he changed significantly between the start of the Wake affair and the events of book 2.

More so than any of the other Lyctors, Gideon and Pyrrha seemed to have had this strong synergy going on. Unlike most necros, Gideon is a buff beef jerky man, and we see two rapiers in G&P's room. The winnowing/construct trial is also referred to as "Pyrrha's trial," which has always struck me as a curious detail and suggests to me that Pyrrha knew more about necromancy than cavs generally do. We know that the saintly epithets refer to the cavs, in general, but I don't think that was exactly the case for G&P; based on the previously stated, I believe they were both equally dutiful people, willing to throw themselves into each other's studies and share each other's skills.

Aug and Mercy were forced to rush their Lyctorization process because of their reckless cavs, and G1deon was next, but the fact that Pyrrha compartmentalized suggests they were closer to figuring it out than Aug and Mercy were--which I think is greatly due to the harmony of their relationship.

We know from what the other Lyctors & John have said that Gid loved and respected Pyrrha deeply. I wouldn't be surprised if the ferocity with which he threw himself into his saintly work over the 10,000 years emerged--at least partially, if not primarily--from his devotion to her. There's Pyrrha, the most spectacular cav and an all-around badass, and Gideon--having taken her to fuel his ascension--acting as John's attack dog with an intensity that would make her sacrifice worthwhile.

It's difficult to gauge how much Gideon actually enjoyed any of this; John seems to think he did, but I wouldn’t trust John for shit, and I'm sure John's understanding of G1d is heavily skewed in his own favor.

I think it's also important to consider Pyrrha's side of this story as it relates to G1deon’s current state, as well as the Wake affair. Her actions raise several questions. First of all, how long did it take for her to realize that she could take control of his body? How exactly did it happen, the first time? And how aware is Gideon? Does he have any inkling at all? Is there something more to his forgetfulness, something purposeful?

I have to imagine that in any case, Pyrrha must have gone through a lot over those 10,000 years. 10,000 years of odd sensory deprivation, which was probably hell for a fiery badass like P. 10,000 years of watching Gideon put up with John's bullshit, of watching the other Lyctors die off one-by-one and accumulate a host of mental, physical, and emotional scars. I'm convinced that Pyrrha's relationship with "duty" changed over the course of the years as she watched from this disembodied perspective, and that her "treachery" against John (her affair with Wake & possibly feeding intel to the BoE) was just a natural progression of that change.

When Wake factors in, I'd bet good money that the driving factor in both Pyrrha and Gideon's attraction to her is that she reminds them both of Pyrrha. Hell, Pyrrha even says this outright: "She was the most dangerous woman I'd ever met who wasn't me." I imagine that P's attraction to Wake, beyond this cool display of cockiness, also emerged from a sort of nostalgia--maybe Wake reminds her of what life used to be when she had a body, when she could fight and command, when she had a cause to occupy her energy. On G1d's side, he sees a woman who's dedicated and dutiful, even if it's for an enemy faction, and a woman who would undeniably make one hell of a cavalier (I think someone says this in HtN, although I'm forgetting who, so correct me if I’m wrong). I'm sure there's nostalgia in it for him, too.

Then, there's elephant in the room: Wake's fiery red hair and Pyrrha's name, meaning "flame-colored." I'm convinced that at least some of the similarities were physical. And at the bottom of it all is the inherent sexiness of finding a worthy opponent who's also hot. Lol.

Gideon Prime Lobotomy Time(?)

Here's where things get squirrelly for me, and the main reason why I have a theory that G1d's current state might be partially self-inflicted.

G&P were having discrete affairs with Wake, which inherently brings up logistical questions. First of all, how? And how exactly did Wake come to "kiss" Gideon "before she realized what they were?" How long were the durations of time in which Pyrrha kept his body under her control? In any case, after Wake & Gideon initiated their leg of the affair, it continued throughout the two years up until Gideon Jr.'s birth, which implies that Gideon Prime had some agency and willfulness in all of it. It's difficult to imagine the permanently-spaced-out-thousand-yard-stare man we know in HtN actively participating in such an entanglement.

Of course, I’ll acknowledge that it's entirely possible that I'm wrong, and that Wake just jumps his bones when she feels like it, and he's like "ok I guess," so take this as you will; but I'd like to put forth the suggestion that G1d's memory loss and overall lack of lucidity might be self-inflicted, to the tune of Harrow's lobotomy. We don't know how aware Gideon is of Pyrrha's presence, but it does seem to be the case that Lyctors having an awareness of the cav is dangerous for the cav. Being an accomplished necromancer, I'm sure Gideon was/is a smart man. Pyrrha mentions that she was "able to go underground" from him, but what if Gideon started to catch on to Pyrrha's presence through the double-affair? What if Wake let something slip? What if the thing that Wake didn't realize about them was the fact that Pyrrha's survival depends on Gideon's lack of awareness?

What if he lobotomized himself at some point, after catching onto Pyrrha's presence, at the expense of his sanity?

What really strikes me is the post-incinerator scene (HtN ch.31, pg. 292 in the hardcover):

The Saint of Duty turned his body toward you. He was clutching his rapier; but it was idle ... His eyebrows were very slightly drawn together, a sort of exhausted crinkle. He looked at you, and he said in a voice you had known since you were eight years old: "I sometimes--forget."

It was the tone--clinical, enamelled, half-defensive, half-endangered--the tone of someone admitting a final fraily. It was familiar because you had used it yourself. Understand I am insane.

It's his quiet resolution that does it for me; he knows something's missing, and he's accepted it. He's being set up as a parallel to Harrow in this particular moment, and it just makes me wonder if the parallel goes beyond his understanding of his own “insanity” and extends to the means by which he has become "insane."

Pyrrha's already being set up as a parallel to Gideon Jr., both in terms of her formerly-skewed sense of duty and her compartmentalization, so I think this sort of dual-parallel between G1d and Harrow would work nicely, if only from a meta perspective.

In short, I think Gideon the First's feelings on everything that happened are complex, fraught. I think "duty" is what defined much of his personality, and I think what we see of him now is the result of split senses of duty having torn him apart:

he's torn between his devotion to Pyrrha (and by extension, ironically, his devotion to John) and his interest in (and perhaps love for) Wake;

torn between John's command to kill Harrow and whatever it is that caused him to pull punches (I'm guessing a combination of basic decency and solidarity); and

at the end of it all, he's quietly accepting of his own "frailty," understanding that the current situation is the shitty result of everything that's happened over the past myriad, and that there's likely no way to set himself straight, even though his shortcomings put him in direct conflict with the man he's "supposed to be," according to this awful religion, and according to what others think of him.

Anyway, for those who’ve stuck around, that’s all I have to say for now! I’m just so fascinated by the Saint of Duty/the Pyrwakeon story that’s going on behind the scenes; there’s such an understated intensity to it, and honestly, it didn’t even hit me until months after my first read-through.

I’m curious to hear what other people are thinking, too!

#the locked tomb spoilers #harrow the ninth #htn spoilers #harrow the ninth spoilers #I have Feelings about G1d #and I want to spread them #and it makes me Sad when people dunk on that beef jerky shrinkwrap man #lol #don't even get me started on how devastated I am that he died off-screen

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